Designs of the Heart
by Heartbrkn Bard
While daydreaming, Jack paid the gas attendant and then continued on her journey to work. All this reminiscing about Desi really got her in a funk. She realized how unready she was at that time for a relationship. It seemed like a dream right now, like a book she had read instead of an important part of her life. Jack remembered loving Desi, but could not remember how she felt when everything was going on. Was it that long ago? Is that why I really can't seem to place my feelings? What was really going on in my twisted little head? Why can't I remember?? Was I just too young mentally to deal with it? She had the perfect person, and just continued to screw things up. I guess it was all in the timing. Will I ever, in my life, get that opportunity again? Looking for a parking spot, Jack fell into a daze.
The last few months had Jack holding on by the skin of her teeth. A card never showed up in the mail, nor was it ever mentioned again. She even took her baby on a skiing trip to Vermont, just to get away from it all. But her mind always wandered. It was everywhere else, everywhere other than where it was supposed to be.
Desi was doing the best she could, given the circumstances. She was willing to stick by Jack, as long no other women were involved. But how much could she really take? Desi knew her partner had a wandering eye. She tried to distract her, but it was a losing battle. Desi wrote numerous letters to Jack asking, pleading with her get on the right track, to take the relationship seriously. All she could do was wait it out.
The landlord of the building where Jack and Tk lived informed them that they needed to be out the first of the month. He was selling the building. Jack figured her asking Desi to get an apartment with her would do wonders for the relationship. Tonight, I'll bring up the subject and see how it flows. I wonder what time she is coming over tonight?
"Hey baby," Jack said after she called her lover.
"I was just thinking about you," answered Desi.
"I bet you were thinking how you can't wait to come over tonight and see me."
"Yep, that's it," giggled Desi.
"Good, because I have something I want to discuss with you."
"Ok, babe, whatever you want. I'll be there at six. See you later," answered the green-eyed beauty as she hung up the phone.
The anticipation was going to kill Jack. Would Desi say yes to her proposition? Would she just laugh in her face? Is she ready to leave her parents' home and start out on her own? These were all questions Jack needed answered. But she was afraid of the outcome. What would it be like living with someone I was actually in a relationship with? Waking up to the same woman every morning? Sitting down watching T.V. in 'our' living room? Is this what I want? Or what I think I want? Get your shit together girl, and decide quickly. The end of the month is only three weeks away.
Before Jack knew it six o'clock was here and her doorbell was ringing. Anxiety set in, and Jack felt like chickening out. But she just couldn't. What was she going to do?
Hugging her beautiful lover, she knew Desi was going to know something was wrong."Hey Baby, I am so glad you are here."
"Me, too. Is everything alright?" Desi sensed something was up.
"Yes and no. Yes, I am all right, not sick or anything. But no, because I just found out I need to be out of my apartment by the end of the month."
"Ok," answered Desi, still not sure what the problem was.
"...And I was thinking, that we should move in together. So what do you say? Ready to be with me forever?"
Totally taken by surprise, the green-eyed beauty was wide-eyed and speechless. How can she even think of moving in together with all the shit we are going through? Is she out of her freaking mind? Does she think it will solve everything that's gone wrong? Leave my parents' secure home to live with someone that doesn't even know where she is going to be tomorrow?
Realizing that Desi was shell-shocked, Jack knew she needed to comfort her."Honey? Babe? Desi? Talk to me, are you alright?"
Trying to put into context where this was coming from, Desi inhaled deeply and proceeded to answer.
"Jack, do you think it would be wise for us to move in together? We've been partners for only seven months, what is the rush?"
"Don't you love me?" asked the disappointed woman.
"Of course I love you, that has nothing to do with it. I just don't..."
"You just don't what, Desi? Think we should? Oh I know, maybe it is that you're too secure sleeping at home with mommy and daddy! Are you afraid that it's me that can't give you what you want?" answered Jack defensively.
"Are you deliberately trying to hurt me with your words, Jack? If so, I advise you to stop now while you're ahead. At this rate not only will we NOT live together, but we won't even be together. You should know by now that I don't take kindly to threats!!"
Realizing that she was going about this all wrong, Jack decided to take her foot out of her mouth and apologize for the childish behavior.
"Desi, I'm sorry. I just want to be with you so badly that sometimes I just don't know how to act."
"Ok, most of the time. But that doesn't mean I love you any less, or want to harm you in any way. I just...just...want you to be my wife, my family. I want to give you the white picket fence and that storybook romance you so desperately seek. I want it to be to me that you walk down that aisle. I want to be everything to you and more. Is that so bad?"
Desi felt really bad for her girlfriend. She never really thought that Jack thought about those things. Walking over to her, cupping her face in both her warm hands, she kissed her lover's lips very gently and replied,"Jack, I love you dearly. We will work it out, we'll find a way."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying, yes, I'll move in with you." Desi kissed her lover repeatedly to reassure her.
"Desi, I love you so much. Sometimes I think you really have no clue just how much."
"Maybe you're right, I have no clue. But right about now wouldn't be a bad time to start showing me just how much."
Desi was right. I needed to start showing and proving just how much I needed her and loved her. Sometimes seeing it means just that much more. Will we make it together? Only the gods know, but heck, I'm not going to give up without a fight. I can't. Without Desi by my side, I'm nothing. Just nothing.
This apartment hunting is just a nightmare. In just three short weeks we need to find something. Desi wants only the best, I personally don't care all that much. We are having a hard time agreeing. All our time, as of late, is consumed with the search for 'our home'. I miss my baby, her scent, touch and most of all, her taste. We need to break up the monotony a little. I have just the plan.
Jack ran to the store to pick up a few odds and ends. She needed to make her night with Desi special. Candles, balloons, flowers and food were all she could carry. After cooking a quick meal for the both of them, Jack set up the table with the candles and balloons.
At the sound of the buzzer, Jack released the lock for Desi to get into the building. She dimmed all the lights in the apartment and then left her front door ajar for Desi. Quite surprised to find the door open, Desi made her way in slowly.
"Baby, you here?"
That was Jack's signal to put the forty-five on the record player. Seconds before Sheriff was going to belt out"When I'm with You," Jack walked into the living room, bowed and asked,"May I have this dance?"
"Yes, you may," answered Desi with a curtsy.
Slow dancing hand in hand, Jack proceeded to sing to her green-eyed beauty."...I never cared for nobody, like I care for you. Ooh baby, lost in love is what I feel when I'm with you. Oh baby, I get chills when I'm with you..."
"I love you so much," mouthed Desi into her partner's lips. Sucking Jack's bottom lip always proved to draw results.
"And don't ever stop." whispered Jack.
"The only way I'll stop is if 'you' make me."
"Well, then I guess you're stuck with me for life," assured the dark haired woman.
"And you say it like it's a bad thing."
Both lovers fell to the floor. Jack waited for this moment. It seemed like weeks since they had been intimate with each other. Looking down at the most beautiful woman in the world, Jack began to kiss the flat stomach that lay before her. As she pulled off Desi's clothes, her mouth starting working it's way down to the inner thigh, the area that just made Desi wild. At this point, Jack decided to take things to another level.
"Turn over, on your knees," whispered Jack into her lover's ear.
"Mmm, what are you up to?" questioned the horny woman as she did what was she was told.
"I want to see the best view in the house, your ass." Jack snickered, as her tongue trailed down Desi's back finding it's way to a moist haven."You taste so damn good, babe."
"Mmm, I am glad you like," murmured Desi.
Cupping her girlfriend's breasts from behind, Jack licked and teased P.S. in a different way than she normally did. She wanted Desi to reach a point of orgasm that she never had before.
"Come for me, Babe," ordered Jack.
"Oh my god, Jack! Jack this feels too damn good."
Pulling away, breathing heavily into Desi's pubic hair, Jack was in a teasing mood."What? Not good enough? You want me to stop?"
"Please don't stop!" screamed the wet woman.
With that Jack made her way back down to the moist, wet mound that was just screaming for more. Not a drop got past her swollen lips. Grabbing Desi's ass, Jack lifted her up higher to get a better 'view' on things. Speeding the motion up to make her lover just a little more nuts, Jack knew the time was drawing closer.
"Don't stop, I'm going to..." Quivering like a leaf, Desi had the most intense orgasm. She was exhausted. Curled up next to her baby is where she laid.
"Is someone tired?" questioned Jack sarcastically.
"As if you didn't think I would be after that session. Come on, put those strong, protective arms around me and let's get some sleep. We have another long day tomorrow, apartment hunting."
"Ok, you're right," agreed Jack.
"I love you, Jack. And what you did here tonight, the flowers, music, and dancing was very romantic."
"I am glad you enjoyed. You are very special to me, and I didn't want you to forget that," admitted the brunette.
"I'll never forget. Now close those beautiful eyes of yours and get some sleep," ordered the exhausted woman.
The air in the room was thick with the scents from their flowing juices. Their souls intertwined. Life was beautiful. Now, if they could just keep it that way.
Flipping through the classifieds for the third time in two weeks, Desi knew they just had to find an apartment. Crossing off the ones that just wouldn't cut it, the green-eyed beauty came across the perfect ad:
Hmm, wonder if two females will be okay. With that, Desi decided to call and make an appointment.
"Hey Babe! Babe! We have an appointment tonight at what I hope will be the perfect apartment."
"Well, let's cross our fingers and hope for the best," encouraged Jack.
As Jack and Desi proceeded to get ready, many thoughts ran through both of their minds.
What if this really turns out to be the perfect place? Desi and me, forever? I just can't imagine anyone and me forever. But if I had a choice... Nah. Desi is my choice. And the best choice I have ever made in my entire life. So then why am I questioning myself? 'Cause I am a goddamn idiot, that's why. I have a good thing, something I don't deserve. Everything will work. I've turned over a new leaf. I see, Desiree and think about no one except my baby, and that's that.
By the gods, I really do hope I have found us our home. I want a country kitchen, pine wood living room and a fireplace would be exceptional, but not necessary. Geez, I'm sooo excited! Soon I'll be Mrs. Desiree Jamenson-Moore. What more can a girl ask for? Monogamy- but I have that, right?
"Desi, you ready? We need to get going if we're going to make it there on time."
Walking out of the building hand in hand, both women were anxious to find out what lay ahead.
After what seemed to be a long and tedious appointment with the landlord, Jack knew they needed to make a decision quickly. An apartment like that wouldn't last long.
"So, what did you think?" questioned Desi.
"I loved it!!" Shouted Jack excitedly.
Both women hugged and jumped up and down in the middle of the street.
"Our new home?" asked Desi.
"Yes, our new home," answered the dark haired woman and then sealed it with a kiss.
That very same night Desi called and made all the necessary arrangements to sign the lease. It was official. April 1st would be their moving day. Now to gather up the gang for all the help they could get.
"I think packing is the worst part of moving," shouted Jack.
"Honey, we have only been packing for one day."
If she thinks packing sucks, wait until she has to unpack. My god, Jack has so much garbage. I don't know where she thinks it's going. Maybe I can convince her to throw out some of this stuff and buy new. I can be very persuasive when I want to be.
"Hey, where is Tk, my neighbor, when you need her?" The brunette wondered where her buddy was in this time of need.
"I wasn't the last one left in charge of her," teased Desi.
"Funny babe, very funny."
Lining up the boxes against the foyer wall, Jack could not believe how much stuff she had accumulated over the years. I wonder if she'll let me pin up my nudy women pictures in the bedroom.
"Jack, can we throw out these pictures of nude women?" asked Desi.
"Sure," sighed Jack.
I guess we have to give a little to get a little. My new life with Desi has begun. Will we make it? I am going to try my hardest. But damn, I do miss going out dancing. It's been so long. I think I need a fix. I wonder who would be out. Maybe I can convince that smart girlfriend of mine that we need a break and maybe we should go out tonight for a drink or two. She can't take that away from me too, can she? I hope not, because believe you me, I won't be a happy camper if she does.
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