The Anniversary Song
Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters Xena and Gabrielle from Xena Warrior Princess. They are not owned by the authoress of this work, they are merely the inspirations for this story. My humble deference to USA Studios, RenPics and all those guys. ;)
This story contains lesbian sexual content I hope that excites you as much as excites me.
The events take place just before the trek into Egypt. It explains some of the odd going ons in the episode <<Antony and Cleopatra>>. Subtext revived, subtext for ever!
So much has happened but not much has really changed between us. Except that we've gotten used to each other. I have lived with you and I have died with you. And none of that seems strange. The gods must have something planned for us. Or maybe it's stronger than the petty desires of the gods. Maybe it's the real reason we continue. Lifetime after lifetime, quest after quest. Why do I even wonder about this? I'm crazy for even doubting it.
Five years of togetherness and fighting. Five years of war, with each other and now against everything else. I look at you and wonder if sometimes you forget what we've been through. Do You remember what I've given up to be with you? My home, my saftey, my child, my reign, my writing . . .my life for you. We've made camp just outside a port three days journey from Alexandria. You wanted to fish some before leaving for the Sea. Poaching dinner and eating it was quiet, but now's my chance to speak and I haven't taken that chance in a while.
"Maybe we should just take it easy for a while, Xena. You need to rest and concentrate."
"What do you mean? I'm fine. Eve is with Mother. We have some time together."
I said nothing. We journeyed for six days together and you didn't lay a hand on me. "Maybe you need someone else for a bit."
"I don't know."
"Gabrielle. There is nobody else. You know we're going to be together forever."
"Yes, I do. And I love you. But you've been taking me for granted and I've been too quiet. I'm taking you for granted too." I lean in and kiss you. "Maybe knowing that forever is a given is what killing us in the smaller moments."
You move away from me.
"This is what I mean, Xena. You've been moving away from me for months. It's killing me."
"Gabrielle I just had a baby."
"Xena, when I had my baby, you couldn't keep your hands off of me. It was beyond my senses. I was so sensitive and you were there for me. After you almost lost the baby, you quit touching me. Did you think I would taint your baby?"
"I was nauseous-not because of you. I just was nauseous the whole time. I didn't want to touch any one." You sit up and rub your forehead. "I'm sorry. I was trying to spare you. I just felt fat and immobile and nauseous."
"And now what do you feel?"
"Sad. I miss you. Even though, you're right here. I miss myself. I haven't been me in so long. This baby has taken everything out of me. Who is she? Where did she come from? I don't even know and I can't shake the feeling that I cannot mess this up, the way I messed up before."
"And with Hope." Neither of us could speak. I sat up next you.
"Gabrielle, I was afraid to even think about her or bring her up. I've never been that scared. She made us hate each other. Us. That was what completely frightened me. That kind of power is that kind of power I will always fear."
"She's gone, Xena. And even if she wasn't, your fear keeps her alive in the worst way possible." Your shoulders relaxed and you turned to me, still not looking.
"I know why you didn't talk about her. I could feel your fear. That's why I wanted to help you with your pregnancy. To be there for you . ."
"Even though I wasn't there for you."
"Please don't. I forgive you. Just forgive me for being Hope's mother. Please?"
"I'm trying to forgive myself for not letting you. You probably could have saved her from her dark side. The evil is always my fault. I want to make something good. The way you can."
"Oh Xena you do that every day. If you let us be the way we are together. Stop forcing your will-you do create goodness and beauty. In me in Eve, in yourself. "
"How do you that? How do you know everything?" A smile starts to crack its way through.
"Because you taught me everything. " Finally your eyes meet mine after what feels like a year of waiting and longing for those blue eyes to love me again. Your eyes land on me and bright heavy, happy tears stream out from a place so deep inside me, I've never felt it before. "I love you."
You put your hand to your mouth and hold your breath. Slowly the hand moves away and you come back to me. You come back to the big space I've left waiting for you. Kissing me and falling with me back onto the bed roll. Your kisses are starved like mine are and I remember all too well the warm tongues that say volumes when no longer speaking. It feels so much more wonderful than the first time. That was one thing: a magic all of it's own. But this is a meeting of minds, and making up of hearts and call to partnership that I'd been deaf to. With us both so open to the other. I never knew the power of forgiveness could be such a turn on. All the hurt I caused you. All the nights I curled up missing your arms and legs and feet cradling me, forgiven in this embrace. Somehow I'm glad for that barren time between us, because it ended in this togetherness. A togetherness that confirms we are two and we will never be apart.
"Don't let me abandon you again."
"Xena you have to be responsible and capable in how you love me. I do too. If you start to walk out of my heart again, say so or I will call you on it."
"I'm not a hundred percent right now Gabrielle. Sex is very scary. I got pregnant when I wasn't even with...when I was Dead!" And you do look scared.
"I understand, Xena. It's all very frightening." I open my arms to you and hold you. Your head rests on my shoulder. Listen to my heart. You settle in. "Just let me hold you. If the gods want to give us children, they will. They seem to think it's some kind of game, getting us with child. Apparently it doesn't matter what we do." But still something in your sigh says you're not ready for me yet. "We don't have to do anything but be honest with each other. If you're not ready, you're just not."
"I'm not ready." Your eyes lift and you stroke my cheek the way you used to when I was younger. I can tell when you miss my long hair and my eager youth. Sometimes I do to. But I'm her deep inside and I'm her whenever you look at me. I just grew up. I've grown.
This time I capture your eyes.
"But, I've been thinking about boys." You wrinkle your nose with a cutest amount of guilt I've seen in a while.
"So have one, Xena. Have two if they're small."
"No! I'm really not ready for anybody. I've just been thinking about it."
"You can think about it, what's the matter with you? Are you still hung up on Ares?" I say incredulously.
"I hope not." You whine, tracing my lips. You don't want to admit but thinking about him is turning you on. "He is so vile."
"Yes, but he is not bad looking. And he is your type, and he's got that God thing." I tease.
"What God Thing?" Your head pops up and looks me in the eye.
"Not that! Just that is a God and they're very good at seducing humans."
"True . . ."
"Xena you like bad boys. So get one. I'm sure we'll find one in Egypt."
You start tensing your jaw. "Okay but stop me if I go too far. I don't want to do it with anyone but you. I just might need to flirt with one of them and turn him down."
"Okay." I laugh.
"Are you serious? You'll let me fool around with some bad boy?"
"If it means letting you go, to get you back. I've done that many times. I don't care. I know where you wind up at night. You always come home."
"Mmm I love you. There is no one in the world like you, Gabrielle."
"I know." I say. I sigh.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"What are you going to do in Egypt? You can...."
"I have no intention of fooling around with anyone else."
"Well, if you find somebody."
"Thank you, Xena that's very sweet, but we both know that if I do, you'll wind up killing that person.."
"You mean kill a young innocent boy? Yeah. I can't kill them. Because they are so innoccuous and sweet I would be murdered on the spot."
"Maybe. " I laugh. "I never realized that I have a type before."
"Oh it's sickening. These young cherubic innocents, with big eyes that follow you everywhere and hang on your every word. I can't even threaten them. They cry. You wind up defending them from me and the love you even more."
Now I'm really laughing, and you are growling in my ear.
"Why didn't you warn me before I married Peridicus?"
"That's when I realized I couldn't stop you."
"But we had already been together."
"I was well aware of that Gabrielle. I was powerless."
"I told you before loving and losing him brought me closer to you."
"I and I told you before that it was hard for me to let you go, but your happiness has always meant the most to me. And don't think I didn't see what happened with that Ling character in Chin."
"That's not fair he came after me."
"He wasn't innocuous?"
"He was innocuous enough." You growl again.
"You know what's even funnier?" I say.
"I'm my own type and you're your own type but were both women."
"Try that again?"
"I like young innocent consumable boys, unscathed, fresh, well-educated and that's who I was when I was younger..and you like bad, leather clad, violent, manipulative guys who destroy women. . .and that's what you were like. If we were guys that's who we'd be."
"Hm!" You get it.
"I'd wonder why it's the opposite with the kind of women we're attracted to, but I'm not really attracted to other women."
"That's not true, what about Aphrodite?"
"That type thing. That is interesting. So maybe I don't want a bad boy for an appetizer, maybe I just miss our old dynamic."
"I think so. Dynamic, Xena? I'm truly impressed."
"Thank you. My partner is a bard. I get it from her." You're bragging about me. You haven't done that in ages."
"Ha." And this time we kiss each other. I can taste your smile and I love it.
"I think we made it through another rough patch, Xena."
"Oh, I know so." Surprisingly enough, you decided then was the right time break the dry spell. I lapped at your newly large breasts and you churned my body like we owed each other a big fat favor. Which we did. But it was a delightful favor. This was a first time, though. We had thing for those. First time in a tub, First time under the stars. First time in the snow. First time on a horse, in the rain, in a tree, with food. . . but this was a different kind of first time. I loved that I already knew what to do to make you happy or wetter. I also knew how to deprive you and make you beg. But tonight I don't. Enough depravation.
With my fingers in your body, I see how my love has changed. Moonlight on your face shows me the young Xena that I never got a chance to know. Now it's my turn to be the hardened warrior protecting the long haired girl from the perils of the world.
I feel your subtle strong vibration flowing over my hand and through my being. I am grateful for every second of you. You pour libations of love into my heart saying over and over "Yes, Gabrielle . ." Letting me know to keep going. I learned our special language long ago. When the waves subside I push slower, deeper and more luxuriously just to taunt those last pulses as long as I can. This always makes you moan. How I love to hear you moan.
The next thing I know, you're on me like fire. Sweaty, hot and everywhere. "Not waiting, I see." I manage to quip before your hand finds me very wet after wanting you for so long and then watching you come. It's all too much.
"Oh Gabrielle, you're so wet." You gasp, remembering what it's like to fuck me again. Why did we wait? Why did we stop? Your mouth hungrily suckles and strokes my neck and ear. You cradle my back with your strong arms. I relax and let you hold me. Then I wrap my legs around your thighs and hear your moans. You feel the new strength in my body. I'm glad we both like it. We ride together and you pull back to look at me. The gods never knew beauty the way I know yours. It's that thing, that draws us together. That power. Your eyes draw me inside your soul and feel my body let go with it. My head feels like it's rolling off, I lose focus of everything but the feeling in my body and soul. The softest embers of your voice urge me to go higher and harder, I do and feel the floodgates open. My thighs and legs become weightless and feathery. You moan sexily, manipulating my ears into echoing the passion that has taken over my being. I want to say that I'm coming but my mouth is useless. I feel the light flow though my being and I feel nothing else. When it's over, I have lost all track of time. How long was that? I am exhausted. I am spent. I look at you and you are soaking wet with me. I have run a marathon and won. You let me breathe for a moment. Then you come rest beside me and our hearts sing together. I can feel yours drumming and mine is inescapable.
"Hm?" I grunt barely.
"I am not sleeping in that wet spot."
"Who said I'm letting you sleep?"
"Oh shit." You start to laugh "You're not exhausted?"
"Wow. That was amazing. I didn't know a woman could come like that."
"I've done it before . . .you were on top of me . . . wasn't usually that much. That was a lot."
"Thank you." I'm beat.
"Can you do it again?"
"I don't really think about it, Xena." My mouth is moving but limbs are starting freeze. "I just completely let go and then, bam. Flow."
"But it's not urine. It doesn't smell. Maybe that's how I got pregnant?"
"If you get me pregnant again, I kill you."
"You won't be, the only one"
"I'm serious, Gabrielle. I'm getting too old for this . . ."
"I love you." You whisper sweetly.
"I love you too." I whisper back before dropping into a heavy sleep. I can feel you kissing my arms. I know you're wondering about Egypt. Wonder, wander, I don't care. Just come Home to me.
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