Disclaimer in part 1
Brandy had her truck all loaded with the furniture that she had kept in storage when she let her apartment go. Feeling the need for company she headed over to her old apartment complex to visit with her only friend, Latisha. She could hear the music blasting behind the door, so she pounded loudly. The pink door opened to reveal a flaming red head.
"Giiiiiirlfriend where have you been? I have sat by that phone for days and not once have you called Latisha! Brandy I know I raised you better than that. I thought you had forgotten all about this old drag Queen!"
Brandy followed his swinging hips in to his Liberace on acid decorated apartment chuckling at his ranting.
"Latisha your two years older than me, so don't start that over the hill stuff!"
"You just wait until your tits starts to sag, your butt drops and the wrinkles at your ankles are not your nylons. And Lord have mercy but I found a gray hair!"
Green eyes twinkled as her friend floated around the room gesticulating about everything sagging and dropping. "L. your bald and hairless so don't give me that about gray hair, and you just need to get some new foam rubber."
He placed one finger against his lips. "Shssss I'm practicing on being the poor lonely older woman."
"Ok who is he?"
"This gorgeous Latino across the hall, my God I get hot flashes everytime I see him. Nice tight little buns makes you just want to squeeze them! He saw an eyebrow go up at him. "Well not you of course you irritable little baby dyke, I'd have the operation if I thought I could have you!" He blew her a kiss and winked. Pirouetting off to his Betty Crocker kitchen he yelled. "So tell me Brandy just what have you been doing with your fem. little self?"
She told him about the mess the house was in and the changes she had made so far.
"So why don't you follow me home and help me decorate the place and I don't want it to look like......ah you know my tastes."
"Oh yes I do!" The back of one hand went across his forehead. "Lord have mercy child you have no taste!"
She stayed with Latisha that night and he gave her a fashion show that left her rolling on the floor in tears when he came out as Cher gone native. Brandy pulled in to her drive with Latisha behind her. After she helped him get all 5 of his suit cases out of the trunk they headed towards the door. The suit cases she had in her hands hit the ground. "Brandon watch my suitcases, those are Louie V. rip-offs. What is your malfunction girlfriend?" He followed her eyes up. "Sorry I just don't see anything up there to get all teary eyed over, it's just a white cat on the peak." Tilting his head to the side he asked. "Why is there a white cat on your roof?"
Brandy couldn't believe her eyes, a new deck had been built on her upper level, the bottom half was covered with trellises with new rose bushes planted on the sides. When she looked up at the peak her breath caught in her chest. With sweat dampened hair hanging across her bronzed muscular shoulders Rowan stood with one foot propped on the peak, a hand upon her knee with a hammer hanging from the other one. Sweat glistened off her body, soaking her white tank top making it cling to her braless body, her black Levi's clung to her strong thighs as she leaned forward and gave Brandy a lopsided grin and a nod to Latisha.
"Girlfriend get the crash cart my heart just stopped!" Grabbing his chest he moaned. "A woman just gave me a hard on!" Brandy still stood with her jaw dropped open starring at the spot that Rowan had just been standing. "Now I know why I haven't seen you in so long!" Latisha pushed her chin up the then waved his hand in front of her unmoving eyes. "Sister if you don't snap out of it I'll have to use the jumper cables on you!"
Her heart beat a staccato in her chest. A raging fire roared through her body to settle in neither regions, arousement pumping with each heartbeat. When Rowan walked past them she grinned and winked at Brandy who just about fell over.
"Does she have a brother?" Latisha groaned. He guided Brandy into her house and after a few moments she came back to earth to realize she was sitting on her ratty love seat. Handing her a beer Latisha gave her the third degree about her breath stealing neighbor.
"You mean to tell me you know nothing at all about her, not even her name?"
"Yep, and one more sight like that one today and my heads gonna blow off my shoulders and you'll be burying me!"
An internal fire lashed away melting internal walls of steel, a warmness surrounded her heart after just looking into those sea green eyes. She was amazed that just looking at Brandy could send her body into a hurricane of emotions. A hunger deep down inside growled like never before. Rowan knew she was losing a battle and frankly she didn't care, she would gladly lay down her sword at the little blondes feet, but a little voice in the recesses of her brain screamed. "No relationships, no pain!" She was tired of the pain, the seclusion from life. For some reason the little blonde sparked something in her deeper than anything she had ever felt before. She felt a bright light shine on her deepest nightmare.
She watched from the shadows of a tree laughing softly to herself at the commotion at Brandy's. Latisha stood in the front yard dressed like Marilynn Monroe in pink peddle pushers, pumps oh you get the picture. Hands on hips head at an angle.
"I still say you need to paint this place, brighten it up a bit by painting the outside."
"L. bright yellow screams Drag Queen. If you haven't noticed it's rough saw siding weathered to that gray color."
"You won't let me do the bathroom in pink and the living room is atrocious with all that wood. The place screams, PLEASE Latisha Queen of day glow help me! But NOOO baby dyke here." He examines his French cut pink nails as he drops his voice low. "I like rustic!"
Brandy held back her laughter at her friends ranting. "Ok the kitchen is yours, but no pinks, mauves or plums or any other Queenly color that will make me think I'm Betty Fucking Crocker got that?"
Latisha tossed his head away from her. "You are worse than any dyke I have ever known. I have to go change Norma Jean does not do kitchens!"
Rowan had tears flowing down her cheeks from laughing at the little show her neighbors had just put on. Looking down at her pit bulls little brown eyes she talked to her as if she was human. "Well Hecate, this mountain will never be the same."
Days later Brandy and Latisha had the inside shaping up. They argued like sisters over colors and where to put stuff and Brandy absolutely refused to have any lacy stuff in her bedroom. She gave Latisha strict orders on her room. Now one of the spare rooms she could care less what he did with it. Today was their day to sit around and watch (Brandy cringed at the thought) Doris Day movies, complete with Latisha dressed just like her.
"You get to be Rock." He bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes. "What a man!"
Rowan was up in one of her trees fixing a broken bird house when she seen<<saw>> the Pig coming up the road. She sat down on one of the limbs and watched.
Brandy was dozing off when she heard her name being called.
"OOOHHH NO!" She dropped to the floor and crawled across the floor to hide behind her couch.
"What are you doing down there?"
"The Pigs outside yelling for me, I am not going out there, no way in hell, nope, not. I'm out of the country, I have a contagious disease, PMS, Psychotic episodes, I've been abducted by aliens. I've become a nun and I'm on a 6 month sabbatical in Indonesia treating lepers, I'm fucking tall dark ones brains out. Yeah I wish! I don't care what you tell him just please get rid of him Queen of Drag!"
"I love when you beg, ok here's the deal, lacy curtains in here ands he's history!"
Brandy groaned. "Deal, hell you can put me in lace if you get rid of him!"
"Oohh sweet thing, Pink taffeta and black lace for you!"
Latisha stood up and primped. "Just sit back and watch the Queen in action!" He gave the double finger snap. "Work it girl!" Swinging his hips he waltzed out the door as a Sultry Doris Day. The Pigs eyes just about fell out of his head at the sight before him. Brandy ran out the back door and snuck across the road to stand behind a tree.
"My my what a man you are, I just love men with beards." He ran his fingers through Pigs scraggly, tangled patchy beard. Pig finally found his voice and asked with a squeak where Brandy was.
"Oh she's busy across the road there at the neighbors fucking her brains out!"
"She's at Rowans house!?!"
So that's the gorgeous creatures name across the road. He thought to himself. "Oh yes, all the time now! She's got it bad for that tall dark and beautiful one, but you my handsome man are more to my liking." He walked around Pig trailing his hands across his chest and around to his shoulders to end up on his other side, leaning close to his ear he whispered. "My names Latisha, I can show you a real good time!" Pig jumped when he felt his ass grabbed.
"Whats ya got in mind beautiful?"
"Oh I like it doggy style, how about you?"
Pigs face broke out in a huge toothless smile. "That works for me!"
"Good now why don't you let me see the package?"
Latisha dropped Pigs pants to his ankles along with his ragged boxers. Running his fingers up his thighs he watched as little pig (A whole 2inches) rose to the occasion. Walking around Pig he turned him so that Brandy could get a good view and see the Queen at work.
"Your turn, wanna check out my love chamber?"
Latisha pulled his skirt up mid thigh. Pig dropped to his knees in a flash, grabbing him behind his thighs Pig ran his hands up to fondle a tight ass. "You ain't got no underwear on, your a wild thing ain't ya?"
"Oh more than you can believe!"
Pig slid his head up under Latisha's skirt. "Hey it's dark in here." Pig mumbled.
"A little higher and you got it, just give it a big old kiss!"
"What the hell, oh my god!" Pig screamed like a woman. Latisha trapped his head under her skirt holding him there. Pig fell to the ground his face white as a sheet. "You got a dick!" Pig tried to get to his feet but his pants were tangled around his ankles, so he decided to try and crawl away as fast as he could.
"Come on little man you might like it, I can make noises like a sheep!" Pig was screaming his head off, Latisha had him by his feet, he tried pulling himself across the ground by his hands. Latisha pulled his boots off and then everything else leaving him in his to small dirty shirt and filthy socks, holding him by one foot he reached done and grabbed his nuts from behind.
"Oh god don't do that, let me go!"
"Whats the matter am I not big enough for you? Brandy's is bigger go after her from now on bastard!"
Pig got up his face red and little pig sticking straight out he ran screaming the whole way home. Brandy was laying on the ground laughing so hard she was crying,tears rolling down her face, holding her cramping stomach. The next thing she knew darkness over came her as a heavy weight covered her body. The weirdest thing was that it was laughing just as hard as she was. Rowan pushed herself up on elbows, locking laughing green eyes with her own she tried not to laugh but broke up all over again. She dropped her head down onto Brandy's chest trying to collect herself.
"Ok girls, no romping in the weeds. Might find a snake in there and Lord knows neither one of you would know what to do with it!"
Tear stained faces looked up at him. "Now Brandy I saw you high tail it over here but you Rowan where did you come from?" Two fingers pointed up to the tree then they started laughing all over again.
"You fell out of the tree?! Sweet Daddy's nuts, your wacked! When you two get done rolling around in the weeds get over to the house I'm cooking tonight and Queen Latisha's cooking will give you multiples!" As he walked away he yelled back over his shoulder at them. "Oh girls!" He flipped up his skirt. "Is my ass sagging?" He smiled and skipped off to the house.
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