From The Beginning

by warriorjudge


The characters of Xena and Gabrielle and others belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance Pictures, and all the other powers that be…Yadayadayada. No copyright infringement is intended. I wrote this story at the urging of my muse; it should never be used for profit.

I used some of Tori Amos’ lyrics, so of course, they belong to her. No copyright infringement is intended.


Well, bare in mind, this is Xena we are talking about here – of-course there is violence.


This story involves both love and sex between two consenting adult women. If you do not know what vinyl records are (in other words, if you are under 18) or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something else or FREE YOUR MIND.


I’m afraid so. In my story, Xena lost her memory of all her years with Gabrielle; there for thinks she’s a warlord. I thought it was high time Gabrielle would confront Xena’s darkest side. Yes, it is graphic.


Not as intensive as in Pulp Fiction, but still…


To my BETA readers mentors and guides:

1. CJ Wells (You are the greatest) - A brilliant bard, in my humble opinion. Check out her installments FREEDOM and THE EMBRACE. They are amazing and had been a tremendous inspiration to me. Thanks, dear, for making the time and making the effort for me.

2. Noa (I’m proud to be your friend) - For being there for me, putting up with my whining, for all your help.

3. CB – Thanks for your hard work…you rule!

Comments & Feedback: Please! –Bare in mind though, it’s my first attempt. Be gentle with me.

Chapter 1

And through life force and there goes a friend

...And through the portal they can’t make amends

Tori Amos


From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

I have to stop her, I thought to myself. I know that much...As much as I love her...I have to stop her, no matter the price I’ll pay. And pay I will... heavily. It’s a given. One always does when going up against Xena. I mounted my horse, stubbed her ribs with my heals and galloped through the woods. I headed towards Amazon land. I headed toward my tribe. I went to reclaim my throne and rule as their monarch. I need them to help me stop Xena, for I am not capable of stopping her alone. I am not strong enough. I am no match to her power, her war skill, her brutality and her bloodlust.

As I was galloping, wind pounding on my face, I was reconstructing the recent events in my mind.


Eli resurrected Xena and me. The moment Xena opened her eyes I knew something was wrong. When she looked into my eyes I saw steel, cold, blue eyes. Any love that she once held for me, was gone. She looked at me as if she didn’t know me. She rose up from the ground with one fast movement.

"Who are you Blondie?" she barked at me.

"What’s the matter Xena?" I asked her as I was getting up on my feet as well. "It’s me, Gabrielle" I was concerned. I raised my hand in order to touch her face. I thought that maybe she was burning with fever or something. Before my hand reached her face she grabbed my wrist with immense force and twisted my arm against my back.

"Try to touch me again and I’ll break it like a twig," she snorted. "I dare you," she hissed.

I was terrified. I felt my heart missing a beat and my breathing became labored. She threw me to the ground. I saw her mounting Argo and galloping away in a frenzy. I was shocked. I could barely move. I didn’t understand what had just happened. Why did Xena leave me behind? Why did she ask me who I was? Why did she hurt me? I burst into tears. I just couldn’t help myself. A thousand thoughts were running inside my head. Was it something I said or did that made her angry with me? I dismissed that thought immediately. I knew that no matter how angry Xena could be with me, she would never behave like this towards me. I stood up and began walking. I didn’t know where to at first. I decided to go to Amphipolis and pay a visit to Xena’s mother, Cyrene. I figured she must be worried sick about both Xena and me. After all, given Xena’s reputation, I knew that a word about Caesar having her executed probably had reached her by now. I wanted to put her mind at ease by letting her know that both Xena and I were alive and to tell her that something was wrong with Xena. Once at Cyrene’s, I would send word to my own family letting them know I was alive and well. My mother and father wouldn’t appreciate the fact that Xena was alive as well. They still held a grudge... Xena took their little innocent daughter away from them.

On my way, I came across a lake. I looked at the sky above me. Darkness began falling. I was hungry, exhausted and insanely worried about Xena. I wondered where she was. Was she safe? Will she be back for me? What was wrong with her? Was it the Furies who struck her again with madness? Was it Ares? I didn’t believe so.

I caught a fish in the lake. Thank the gods I was paying attention to Xena when she taught me how to catch fish. I miss her so much. I felt pain was about to tear up my heart. Tears started forming in my eyes. I didn’t feel like eating, but I knew I needed to in order to get strong. I still have a couple of days of walking to Amphipolis. So I set a fire and cooked my fish, after I gutted it the way Xena had once showed me, and ate.

I lay down. I tried to get some sleep...though exhausted both physically and mentally; I didn’t fall asleep right away. I was thinking about Xena. I was wondering whether she gazed at the same stars I did. Was she feeling well? Was she on her way back to me? Finally Morpheus took over me and I fell asleep.


Chapter 2


"And when my hand touches myself

I can finally rest my head …getting off, getting off"

Tori Amos

The next morning I woke up. I washed myself in the lake and was on my way to Amphipolis. I walked for three moons. Eventually, I had arrived in Amphipolis. A terrible sight caught my eyes. I saw huts burned to the ground. The entire village was black from the fire that had recently consumed it. I couldn’t believe my eyes. All of Amphipolis was burned to the ground. I immediately recognized Xena’s work. I started running towards Cyrene’s tavern. As I came closer into the village, I saw the corpses lying around. I could hear Xena growling inside my head "kill’ em all"; the thought ran a shiver down my spine.

I burst into the tavern, which was the only hut that remained standing. I saw Cyrene sitting on a stool. Her head was buried in her hands, and she was sobbing. She didn’t even hear me come in. I put my hand on her shoulder.


She lifted up her head and looked into my eyes with her bloodshot ones. She had a grave expression on her face.

"Is this Xena’s doing?" I asked as if I had to. She only nodded.

"When was she here?" I asked.

"Last night," she retorted. "It was awful."

"What happened?" I said, grabbing a stool and sitting in front of her.

"She came in. I was surprised to see her. I got word that Caesar had crucified the two of you. I ran to her and threw my arms around her. She didn’t hold me back. I told her I was happy to see her but she remained silent. I asked her what the matter was and where you were. She pulled me back and said to me, "Who the fuck is this Gabrielle woman?" Cyrene looked at me as if to see my reaction to what she had just said. I kept a frozen expression on my face and simply said, "Go on Cyrene," and Cyrene went on.

"I didn’t know what to say to her. I finally said ‘Why, she’s your best friend, my dear.’" Xena answered that she didn’t have any friends and asked for Borias. I felt a sharp pain go through my heart. Cyrene wanted to stop telling me what happened because she didn’t want to hurt me but I told her that I had to know, so she went on.

"Then it hit me. She had lost her memory. I understood that in her mind she was around ten years back. Back to the time she was a warlord. Back to the time before she met Hercules and you," Cyrene started crying again. I held her in my arms. Everything is starting to fall into place, I thought to myself.

"What happened then?" I asked as I heard her sobbing.

"As dark as her soul is, she spared my life and my tavern. But since she needed dinars, she robbed the village and burned it to the ground…you should have seen her face, Gabrielle, my blood froze in my heart at the sight of her face…such a hideous expression… "

I was shocked. Cyrene’s words were pounding in my head.

"I have to stop her," I muttered.

"You can’t leave now. It will be dark soon. You need to eat and rest so that you’ll be able to catch up with her tomorrow," she pleaded.

Fine," I gave up. I knew better than to argue with Xena’s mother. After all, Xena got her stubbornness from Cyrene.

Cyrene went into the kitchen and I followed her. She started cutting vegetables.

"How do you intend to stop her, Gabrielle?" she asked quietly without looking at me.

"I don’t know yet. But if I don’t stop her she will kill innocent people and burn down their villages. I can’t let her do it. She is way too dangerous to keep on the loose. I saw death in her eyes," I shivered.

"Are you going to kill her?" Cyrene almost whispered, as if she was afraid of my answer.

"I hope it will not come to that," I said, although I realized that I really hadn’t thought about it yet.

We sat down and ate. We didn’t speak to each other throughout dinner.

After we finished eating, Cyrene led me to Xena’s old room. Xena and I slept in that very room together, seven moons ago. Just before this whole business with Caesar had started. I laid myself on her bed. I could still smell her sweet special scent from the sheets below me. I closed my eyes, darkness around me. I started fantasizing about Xena as I was sniffing in her scent. I started thinking about her muscular, gorgeous, naked body. Her firm round breasts with the hard erect nipples. Her fragrance from the sheets was driving me insane. Everything about her was making me burn with lust; the way she walks, the way she moves like a lioness, both sensually and gracefully, the way she speaks, the way she does this thing with her eyebrows. I’ve being coveting her body since the first time I laid eyes on her. I had desired her before I loved her. First, I didn’t know what came over me, but these thoughts about her wouldn’t leave my head. I became obsessed with her. All I could think of was my head between her legs and my hands on her breasts. Never have I felt this way before. When I married Perdicus I knew I was kidding myself. My feelings for Perdicus didn’t come close to the love and passion I had for Xena.

That night, in her bed, I fantasized she was making love to me, that she is sucking my nipples while stroking my center with her long, strong fingers. My sex was burning between my legs. It ached for a touch, and I felt I was dripping sex juices onto the sheets. I desperately needed relief. So, I took my hand and stimulated my sex till I climaxed. It didn’t take long. It never did when I fantasized about Xena. Then I could finally fall asleep.


From Horkenus’ parchment

We all knew she was headed towards our village, but what could we do about it? Absolutely nothing. We all knew nothing would stop her. We heard she was leveling villages, killing all living creatures and burning the huts down. It was only a matter of time before she got to our village, and she did. I saw her galloping frantically on her horse, shouting her war cry that stilled my heart. She had blood on her face and in her cold blue eyes, I saw death.

I’m writing these last words of mine, for Xena took all of my reasons for living. She decapitated my wife and my three small children right before my eyes, for no other reason than the pleasure she obviously got from it. Then she burned down our house and slaughtered all the animals, even our dog. Never in my life have I seen such a cruel and soulless monster in the form of a human being.

Nothing matters now anyway...Within a few moments I will take my own life and I’ll be free, free to join my family in the Elysian Fields.

As for Xena, may the gods give her remorse...

From the Amazon’s Log

(Written by Queen Gabrielle)

I arrived at the Amazon village at dusk, after two days of riding. Xena didn’t leave one horse alive in Amphipolis other than her mother’s. Cyrene gave it to me. As I’ve reached Amazon land, I called out the bird sound and two scouts jumped down from the trees and knelt down at my feet, bowing their heads on their forearms.

"Rise" I commanded.

Both of them rose.

"My queen, you are alive!" Messelina exclaimed.

"Yes I am. Xena and I were resurrected by Eli."

"I’m so happy, my queen and honored by your presence," She said

"Thank you Messelina. It’s a pleasure to be here. How are you?" I asked.

"I’m fine, my queen. I trust your journey went the way, my queen, where is Xena?"

"It’s a long story and I don’t have any time to spend. Xena is not with me. Take me to Chilapa, the acting queen," I said harshly. She obeyed me immediately. I mounted her horse, she mounted the horse of the other scout and we galloped to the village.

We entered the village. All the Amazons who saw me knelt before me and bowed their heads as Messelina and I walked to the queen’s hut. We entered and saw Chilapa standing there. She was shocked to see me. She thought I was dead, but after she overcame her shock, she knelt at my feet and bowed her head.

"It is so good to see you, my queen," she said.

"I’m so glad to see you too, Chilapa. However, since I have very urgent matters to discuss with you, enough with the formalities, let’s sit down and talk," I said. I knew I sounded very bossy but I didn’t have much choice. I needed to move fast because I knew Xena would.

We both pulled chairs and sat down one in front of the other.

"Now listen very carefully, Chilapa. Eli resurrected both Xena and me after Caesar executed us. When we woke up Eli was already gone. I’ve noticed that something was wrong with Xena. She didn’t seem to recognize me. She left me there and went off on Argo’s back. I went to Amphipolis to tell Xena’s mother everything. I discovered that Xena had beaten me to it and burned Amphipolis to the ground. Cyrene was the only survivor. She told me she had found out that Xena had lost her memory she doesn’t know who I am and she thinks she is a warlord." I spoke fluently.

"Oh Gods," was all Chilapa could utter.

"I came back because Xena has to be stopped. And I intend to either stop her or die trying."

After I finished uttering these last words, two scouts entered the hut and knelt before me. From the expression on their faces I knew they carried bad news.

"Speak up," I ordered.

"My queen, we got word that Xena is alive and is heading toward Britannia. She has already assembled an army of assassins. She is leveling every village that’s in her path. Killing all living things, sparing no one," the older one said.

"Thank you, leave us now," I ordered.

"I’m taking command now, Chilapa. I’m the queen."

"Yes my queen," Chilapa said. Before she left the Queen’s hut, she turned around and looked at me. "Permission to speak freely my queen."

"Permission granted," I retorted.

"Are you all right Gabrielle?" She asked softly, looking at me with warm brown eyes.

" No I’m not Chilapa. I feel like I have lost my entire world. I feel emptiness. Everything has happened so fast, that I don’t think I fully understand what’s going on. I feel lost. I feel dead." I couldn’t hold my tears any longer and silently they were streaming down my face. Chilapa knelt before me and held me in her arms.

"I know how much she meant to you. I know you loved her. I’m so sorry Gabrielle I don’t know what to say," She whispered.

"Stop it!" I Shouted and pulled myself away from her arms. "Stop talking about her as if she was dead. She means the world to me and I still love her with all my heart and soul."

"I’m sorry Gabrielle," She said bowing, her head and avoiding my eyes.

"I’m sorry too for snapping at you like this Chilapa. It’s just that so much has happened, so fast, it hasn’t totally sunk in yet. I miss her terribly. I can’t stop thinking about her, worrying about her. I feel like my heart is about to explode" I looked at the ground. I didn’t want to cry but it was beyond my control. Chilapa pulled me back to her strong arms and hugged me, stroking my hair with her finger in a soothing manner and mumbled

"I know, Gabrielle, I know."

"These past few days…do you know when I felt most happy, and when my heart stopped from aching?" I asked.


"Do you know, when one wakes up in the morning and has not totally woken up yet and doesn’t remember what day it is or where she is?"


"At these moments of not being fully awake yet, I feel most happy because I’m not aware of the fact that I lost Xena in that brief moment." I answered.

Chilapa took my face with both hands and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Everything will be just fine, you’ll see," she assured me.

After a few moments, I pulled myself together and got up on my feet. My sobbing subsided.

"About tomorrow…" I began saying.

"First, Gabrielle, I urge you to eat something and take a bath," Chilapa cut in.

"Do I stink?" I asked mischievously.

"No Gabrielle…I just think it would make you feel better," She said softly.

"It would only make me think that I wish Xena was here with me in the tub," I smiled for a brief moment as I recalled the bathtub fights Xena and I used to have, and then a tormented expression took over.

After I ate and bathed, Chilapa returned to the queen’s hut and asked me what my plans were for the next day.

"Xena is headed toward Britannia, and she’ll destroy every village on her way there, which ironically is good for us because it will buy us some time. I want to get to Britannia before she does and alert Queen Bodesea. I want to study her fortress. Should she lose her battle against Xena, which she probably will, I want to assassinate Xena once she settles herself in the Queen’s fortress."

"How do you know she’ll settle her self in Queen Bodesea’s fortress?" Chilapa asked.

"I know her, it is a power and control thing for her. She wouldn’t deny herself that pleasure of conquering," I answered. "The queen will lose. Xena is gaining power with each village she attacks. Her army will be big and strong by the time she gets to Britannia".

"I agree," said Chilapa and after a brief moment she asked me, "What do you need, my queen?"

"I’ll be needing sais and a bottle of night-spain, it’s a lethal…." Chilapa cut in again.

"Poison," she completed my sentence. After a moment of silent she asked me " So…are you really going to kill her?"

I felt all the air from my lungs leaving my body and my blood pounding in my ears.

"I’ll speak to the healer first, if there is a sure way to give Xena her memory back, I’ll try to do it…if not… I’ll have to stop her …even if it means killing her… I can’t let her take any more lives." I felt my legs giving out on me and I sat down on the edge of my bed. After a little while, I noticed Chilapa was still standing in the room.

"There is another thing" I said "I can’t do it alone, I’ll be needing help."

"The Amazon army is at your disposal," Chilapa said immediately.

"No, I don’t want my Amazons to die…should they try going up against Xena and her army, they will die. We need to do it simple and quiet. We have to poison her somehow. It is the only way. But as I said, I can’t do it alone, I’ll be needing the help of two of the best warriors."

"I see" her answer lingered on her lips.

"I know it’s a lot to ask Chilapa, but I need the help of both you and Messelina," I pleaded with her.

"As you wish, my queen," was all she said.

"Thank you." I said. I rose up and went to the window, looking outside at the night enveloping the village.

"One more thing, Chilapa." She turned around and faced me.

"I’m afraid to sleep alone tonight. Would you be kind enough to stay with me in the queen’s hut for tonight …you don’t have to if you…"

"I’ll be honored," she said.

"Oh, and stop calling me "queen" at least when we are in private, you are my friend."

"As you wish Gabrielle," she retorted and smiled.

Before going to sleep I went to see the Amazon’s healer. She had grave news for me that was tearing up my heart into a million pieces. She said that given the time that passed since Xena and I were resurrected, if Xena didn’t get her memory back, the chances that she’ll ever get back those lost years are getting smaller and smaller.

Back at the queen’s hut Chilapa and I were getting ready to go to sleep. Chilapa took two blankets, one to spread on the floor and the other one to cover her. She fell asleep immediately. I, on the other hand, tossed and turned half the night. I realized chances were that I would have to kill Xena.


At first light, we woke up. Chilapa went out to get two sais and us some breakfast for me. I washed up my face with cold water and got dressed. I wore an amazon brown leather bra, brown skirt and brown leather boots. Chilapa returned with some food and my sais. Messelina, Chilapa and I sat down and ate.

"According to our scouts, Xena is at Molonius. Which means that it would take her about three days to get to Britannia and about two more days to conquer it, should she continue attacking villages on her way there." Messelina nodded and put another piece of bread in her mouth.

"We have got to get there and warn Queen Bodesea before she gets there," I said

"If we leave now, we’ll get to Britannia within four and a half days." Chilapa estimated.

"That’s not fast enough. We have got to get there within three days tops!" I exclaimed. "There isn’t any choice but to get to Britannia by sea." I got nausceous just hearing myself saying those words. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for me, but it will be bearable since Xena had taught me those pressure points.

"It’s settled then. We’ll ride to the harbor and catch a ship that would carry us to Britannia." Chilapa concluded, and drank the last drop of goats milk from her goblet.

We arrived at the harbor at noon and boarded a ship that was headed to Britannia.


Chapter 3

"Bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls…

Brothers and lovers she and I were…"

Tori Amos


From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

Once abroad the ship, I felt like throwing up. So, I placed pressure points on my wrist, just where Xena showed me, and the nausea disappeared. I went down below the deck and entered my cabin. It was just before dusk. I rested my head on the mattress and closed my eyes. The smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves, the rocking of the ship. Even the sound of the squeaking wooden walls of the ship, led me on a trip down memory lane. It took me to that time when Xena and I were on Ulysses ship, on our way to Ithaca. I remembered myself facing Xena in her cabin, telling her I was going back to the Amazons once we had saved Ulysses. I overheard her talking to him, whispering words of love, that I thought should have been for me. The pain I felt piercing my heart was hurting beyond words. I knew then, I would never have her the way I needed and desired her, so I’d better leave her. Being with her became unbearably painful. Then Xena, without saying a word embraced me. I didn’t understand her reaction. At first, I thought maybe that was her way of saying good-bye to me. When she pulled back, I could see the tears forming in the corners of her beautiful blue eyes and the illuminating smile that was spread on her lips.

"I could sense it, but I wasn’t really sure till now." She was so exited she tried to breathe normally but wasn’t doing a good job at it.

"What are you talking about Xena…I said I was leaving you. Didn’t you hear me?" I was so upset. Here I was, telling her I was leaving her. Was this all she could do, embrace me?"

"You’re in love with me, aren’t you Gabrielle?" She asked with a throaty voice. "I know you do, don’t you dare deny it. You’re jealous because of Ulysses, aren’t you?" So my little plan worked…" she was chuckling.

"What do you mean, ‘your little plan?’" I was losing my self-control as I became angry and frustrated. I’d decided to be strong and not say anything about my love for her till she said it first.

"I knew you weren’t sleeping when I whispered words of love to Ulysses. I could tell by the rhythm of your breathing that you were awake. That’s why I said those words in the first place. I knew that if you reacted, it would mean you’re jealous. Which also means you’re in love with me…" she pulled me back to her arms again.

"Why did you do it Xena? Why is it important for you to know if I’m in love with you?" I thought I would outsmart her. I didn’t believe it worked.

"Because I’m in love with you Gabrielle." She whispered in my ear. I couldn’t keep my eyes open or dry. My legs gave out from under me and I heard myself crying out loud. I couldn’t believe my ears.

"Say it again." I said between my sobs.

"I love you, Gabrielle." She whispered again, and started kissing my neck…her lips so soft and warm. I had to throw my arms around her for fear I would collapse.

"Again." I demanded. She obeyed willingly and pulled back. She looked into my eyes with her ocean blue eyes and said once more, "I love you, Gabrielle." She leaned down towards my expecting lips and brushed them lightly. My hunger for her grew. I needed more of her, so I rose to the tip of my toes, put my hand behind her head and pulled her deeper toward me. I kissed her deeply and passionately. My tongue demanded entry, as it was licking her lips frantically. She obliged and opened her mouth giving her tongue the freedom to roam deep inside my mouth. She cupped my face with both hands, pulling me towards her even closer. My mouth was wide open and so was hers. Our tongues were soon fighting for control and contact. I felt pain in my lungs from lack of air. I broke first in order to breathe. As I was trying to catch my breath, I begged Xena to tell me once more. Needless to say, she did as I asked, trying to convince me.

Xena walked out from my embrace. I could tell she was crying. She went to the door to lock it. I quickly took of my clothes and laid myself onto the bed. My back rested against the pillows so I was positioned half sitting. I rose my knees up from the bed and spread my legs wide for her. My desire carried no shame. When she turned to face me she saw my naked body. She took her time looking at it, examining it. I decided not to rush her though I terribly lusted after the feel of her naked body on mine. After a few moments, she raised her eyes from my nakedness to meet mine. In my green eyes she saw the raw, untamed and inconceivable desire that I felt for her. I spread my arms to invite her and said in a low and throaty voice,

"Enter me, my champion."

She didn’t smile. She gave me a look like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The lust and desire I saw in her eyes thrilled me and boiled my blood. She fought with her leathers and armor, but took them off in almost no time at all. I saw her standing naked before me. My heart was racing and I felt warm wetness dripping from within my core.

The closer she got to me the more she shivered. She finally reached me. She lay on top of me and gathered me in into a tight embrace. We both moaned at the contact and remained that way for a few moments. But soon passion overtook us. Her lips met mine. It was delicate at first, but then it got deeper, rougher, almost violent. We sucked, licked and bit each other lips and tongues trying desperately to devour each other. We fought each other for control, for the right to give pleasure and love. We both wanted to be on top of the other. Finally she won the battle, and was lying on top of me. I enjoyed the sensation of her weight on me. She broke away and looked at me. Her face was stained from tears and in her eyes, I could see the great love and passion she felt towards me.

"Say it again." I pleaded.

"I love you, Gabrielle, I love you more than life. My heart hurts from loving you. I have loved you for a long time now. I didn’t think you’d understand if I told you. I couldn’t afford losing you. I’ve been dreaming of making love to you countless times, loving your body in every way imaginable, making you cry out my name in ecstasy. My love and desire for you know no limits. I will love you forever," She said softly and sincerely. My beautiful champion, I sighed to myself.

"I love you too Xena, but I can’t stand it anymore. Show me," I demanded. "Show me how much you love me." My voice was anxious I could feel every cell in my body hurt from needing her and wanting her. My nipples were already hard and my sex was wet and throbbing. "Show me," I almost shouted. "Make me cry out your name in ecstasy."

And she showed me. Xena probably realized she couldn’t deny me any longer. Without any fondling or teasing, she filled her mouth with my left breast, sucking my nipple hard and swirling around it with her warm tongue. My nipples got erect and hard. I grew wetter so I started thrusting my center against her thigh. I needed relief like I needed air. It became a necessity. Xena was listening to my body and plunged three long strong fingers inside my dripping wet core. I screamed out my pleasure as she was pumping me, in and out. Then I felt her lips leaving my breasts and traveling down my body, eagerly kissing and kneading my stomach and waist. I knew where she was headed. I grabbed her by her raven hear and forced her head to my swollen, slippery clit and spread my legs wider in order to give her more access. While her right hand was inside me, her left hand separated my folds and provided better access to my clit. I screamed upon feeling her lips and tongue on my sex. I arched my back and raised my hips to get more pressure. She sucked it and licked it hard and fast. I started building a steady rhythm.

" Give me, Xena…Don’t stop… give it to me…all the way…" I gasped.

She drank all the juices I gave her, greedily and eagerly. The sight of her head between my legs almost drove me insane. She possessed me, consumed me. My labia were burning up. I felt her warm wet tongue roaming my folds and her teeth biting my clit. Then it started. Waves of pleasure were enveloping my sex; I closed my eyes as I came closer and closer to the edge of climaxing. Xena felt it, so she sucked my clit harder and that’s all it took to bring me the bliss of an orgasm, the greatest I’ve ever had. As I came, I shouted her name with all the strength I had. Xena rode the wave with me. My body went limp and I couldn’t move my legs. I felt my heart beating fast and I breathed quickly as well. My tunnel now sucked her fingers. I kept my eyes open though. I wanted to look at my love.

Xena rose to her knees. Just like me, She was soaking wet with sweat. I loved the way she looked; wet hair, wet body, and a contented expression on her face. She didn’t come with me this time. She remained hungry for me. Despite my protest, she took her glistening fingers from within me and penetrated her own sex. She probably thought I didn’t have the strength to pleasure her. But as if I hadn’t climaxed just moments ago, I felt fresh nectar dripping out of my center and a lightning of energy shot through my body. Seeing her like that pleasuring herself, bucking against her fingers… That was the most erotic thing I have ever seen. I rose to my knees as well and faced her.

With a quick motion I grabbed her wrist and ripped her fingers from her opening. "Only I pleasure you from now on…even you are not allowed to pleasure yourself anymore," I hissed. I brought her glistening fingers to my mouth. Her scent drove me wild with passion. With the slowest of motions, as my green- fired eyes held her blue, I put her fingers to my mouth. Her taste was sweet and erotic. I licked and sucked her fingers. She was moaning with pleasure, and I was growling with hunger.

My fingers soon took their place on Xena’s large and wonderful clit. I couldn’t believe how wet she was. I felt her clit swell under my stroking fingers. I leaned forward and captured her nipple in my mouth and kneaded it, feeling it harden in my famished mouth. I licked it and nursed from it. I felt her melting in my arms, so I supported her lower back with my other hand, kneading her strong, yet tender flesh as she hung onto my shoulders. I heard her whisper in my ear, "Don’t stop touching me, my love. I need you to make love to me." Her voice, her words made my body tremble.

I straddled one of her thighs and rubbed myself against her. I felt I needed relief again but I won’t let my self satisfy until I satisfied my Xena. I needed to smell and taste her again. This time from her sexual center, to pleasure her, to see her climax. I could feel her hips bucking against my fingers. I could feel she was slightly quivering and knew she was close to the edge, but I didn’t want her to come. Not yet.

Cruely, I took out my fingers from her clit, and before she managed a protest, I lowered myself and placed my head under her, between her thighs. Her sex scent was the most arousing thing I’ve ever experienced. Her taste was sweeter than honey. It was an aphrodisiac to me. I licked her large swollen clitoris. I looked up at her face. Her eyelids were heavy from desire. She moaned like a desperate animal... it set me on fire.

"Give it to me in my mouth, Xena" I begged and she pressed herself harder against my mouth and tongue. Her moans and cries of pleasure thrilled me. "More." She demanded. "More." I gave her more as I felt her clit rubbing against my famished tongue and her nectar dripping on my chin and into my mouth. When I felt she was close to her orgasm, I penetrated her with three fingers and pumped hard, rubbing the flesh walls of her core, trying to give her as much friction as she needed.

She grabbed the bedposts and went on riding on my face. I felt her stiffen and I knew that was it for her. When she climaxed, she shouted my name. That was music to my ears. She collapsed on me and her body was quivering for a while. I rolled us both so that I’d be on top of her. I descended Xena’s body with my mouth and reached her sexual center again.

After I finished licking her entire sex thoroughly,so as not to lose a single drop of Xena’s

passion wetness, I started taking my fingers out of her, but she grabbed my wrist.

"Stay inside me, I love feeling you inside me." She whispered. I felt elated, and obeyed her.

She was lying on her side also now, and she was facing me. Without saying a word, I snuggled into her. She gently stroked my sweaty face, my fingers still inside her.

"Say it to me again, Xena, one more time, please." I begged.

"I love you, my angel." She said and smiled. I laid myself on top of her. Feeling her breasts against mine.

"I’m still hungry," I whispered in her ear and licked it.

"Me too." she growled.

Before I knew it I was on my back again and Xena was lying on top of me, her legs between mine.

We made love for five long candlemarks. The passion never subsided; it was just that we’ve reached the point where we couldn’t move our bodies anymore due to exhaustion. Xena cradled me in her arms like a small child. She gently caressed my face with her free hand. We whispered words of love in each other’s ears. We swore we would never leave each other. That was the best day of my life.

I remember the look on Ulysses face when Xena unlocked the door to the cabin. Both Xena and I were decent but the sheets on the bed, the odor of our sex cream, our passion, our sweat, and the expressions on our faces, left him no room for other explanation… he knew we had made love. He didn’t say a word.

Since that night, Xena and I were lovers. We weren’t afraid of telling each other how we felt. The love we felt for each other was overwhelming and as for the passion…well…in all the days that followed our first night of lovemaking, not a day went by without us making love at least once. There were times we wanted each other so badly we couldn’t wait for darkness to fall. We founded as secluded place as possible in the woods and satisfied each other, sometimes without even taking our clothes off.

There were times our lovemaking was slow, gentle and soft, and there were times it was fast, hard, and rough. We’ve made love in every way known to man. Be that one way or the other, every time Xena and I made love, I would tell her words I told her the first time we made love. The words that invited her into my body and into my soul, " Enter me, my Champion." She always did.

Each night after long candlemarks of passion and love, she would spoon me, wrapping my body with the warmth of her love.


A knock on the door brought me back to reality.

"Enter," I said. The door opened and Chilapa came in.

"The captain said the sea is calm and no storms are expected so we will get to Britannia two days from now," she reported.

"Thank you Chilapa," I said. I could tell she was restless I saw that there was something bothering her.

"What’s on your mind?" I asked.

"Oh, it’s nothing, really," she said in a non-convincing tone.

"Do you fear the possibility that Xena would capture us?" I questioned.

"Well … yes," she answered. I wasn’t convinced yet but I’ve decided to let it go. She’ll come to me when she is ready.

That night, Chilapa stayed the night in my cabin as well.

The next day, around the afternoon Chilapa was standing in my cabin. I sat on the chair.

"Listen," I started. "I’m afraid too that Xena will catch us but there isn’t any other choice"

"I know," she answered.

"Well, is there anything else?" I insisted.

"Yes Gabrielle there is…however, I seriously doubt now is a good time to discuss it."

"Let me be the judge of that."

She looked down at her boots.

"Well," she finally uttered. "It’s about my feelings," she started.

"What about them? What feelings?"

"My feelings towards you, Gabrielle." she continued still looking at her boots.

"What feelings toward me Chilapa? What are you talking about?" It still hadn’t hit me yet.

"Well, I guess I’ll just say it then. I’m in love with you Gabrielle. I have been for a long time now. You are an amazing woman. I never said anything before because you and Xena were lovers." She paused.

I was shocked at her confession. Truly, I had no idea. I knew now where was she headed but I had to be sure.

"Go on," I urged her.

"The healer said there is practically no chance Xena will ever get her memory back." She paused again, checking to see whether I was following her.

"And you thought that since Xena is out of the way, that maybe you and I can become lovers." I offered and stood on my feet, facing her locking my eyes onto hers.

"I didn’t mean right away, I know it will take some time for you to love me. I know you hurt now and I know you miss her. But I’m here for you to comfort you, to make her loss easier to deal with. And maybe in time you’ll love me." I saw her love for me in her warm eyes. She was almost begging me to open my heart to her and let her in. I did miss Xena terribly. At times I thought I was losing my mind. I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. Waiting each day for Hades to put me out of my misery. Xena left me empty. She left a huge void, an enormous void within me. I knew nothing , and no one will ever be able to fill that void and I needed someone to fill it. But I knew no one could…no one. I couldn’t therefore, mislead Chilapa. I mustn’t let her believe there was any chance.

"I’m so sorry Chilapa, but I can’t be with you. I have nothing to give you. Everything I have is not mine to give, it’s hers…it always has been and always will be…you see?"

"No, I don’t Gabrielle." She answered. From the fear I sensed in her voice and from the tears I saw starting to form in the corners of her eyes, I could tell she understood. Nevertheless, I needed to be clearer. I knew I was hurting her and it was tearing me apart, but for her own good I said:

"My mind, my heart and my soul belong to Xena." Now I could clearly see the tears steaming down her cheeks.

"And your body?" I could barely hear her. I was hurting for her. I opened my arms and pulled her to me and embraced her tightly.

"You wouldn’t want it, I assure you," I answered. My heart was hurting for her.

"I’ll have everything you’re willing to give...Xena might kill us...I don’t want to die without feeling you." Chilapa cried.

"Chilapa, my desire, my fire and my passion are also hers. Should we have a sexual encounter you would know that all of these things wouldn’t be because of you, but because of her. It will be her image I’ll see in mind, and her body I’ll give myself to and her name I’ll cry in ecstasy - not yours…besides I don’t want anybody else but her…so you see, my body belongs to her."Chilapa tore herself from my arms and stormed out of my cabin, sobbing. I blamed myself for that mess. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have asked her to sleep in the same room with me. But there was no way I could see this coming.

The next day, I noticed Chilapa was very formal with me. She started calling me "my queen" again. I was sorry for that. I knew she’d do everything I asked of her because I was her queen not because she was my friend. I felt I lost her as my friend.

During breakfast, Chilapa, Messelina and I sat and ate together.

"Within three candlemarks or so we will reach Britannia, my queen." Messelina said.

"Once we get there, we’ll go to Queen Bodesea’s fortress and warn her, then we’ll ask her permission to stay in her fortress. That would give us the chance to examine the fortress thoroughly. The more thorough examination we do, the smoother the assassination will be." I said.


Chapter 4

"Blood roses, blood roses…

I wanna suck you deep,

Sometimes you’re nothing but meat"

Tori Amos


From The Queen of Britannia’s Log

(Written by Queen Xena)

I’m writing this log because I want the known world to know my name. I want the known world to fear and dread my name. Since I’m going to make history, I might as well write it down as well. Besides, I have realized I suffer from memory loss. I figured that around ten years worth of memory have been erased from my head. I couldn’t find anyone who could tell me what had happened to me for the past ten years. So, in order for it never to happen again, I’ve decided to write down everything that happens to me from now on.

I’ve arrived in Britannia two days earlier than I planned. I have decided I won’t take the small villages via Britannia. It was a waste of time. The villages were small and poor and feared me already. So, I figured heading straight to Britannia was wiser, strategically speaking. Two spies I sent four days earlier, informed me that Bodesea’s army was weak and had morale problems. They gave me all the details I needed; Numbers, positions, weapons maps, the works. I took only a quarter from my army so that I would mobilize faster. I knew that would be enough to defeat Bodesea’s army, and I was right. I ordered my army to wait three candlemarks before they charged on Britannia.

Three candlemarks was all the time I needed in order to get to Bodecea’s fortress. I wanted to get there in order to kill her. I knew the affect she had on her army, so I needed something to break their fighting spirit, their morale. I also knew a body doesn’t function without a head. After killing the guards on my way, I burst into the main hall of the fortress where Bodesea was. I was surprised to see her speaking to that Gabrielle woman. I drew out my sword and Bodesea drew hers. Our swords hit so hard, one could see the sparks. However, she was no match for me and the battle was over soon after it began.

After I took my sword out of Bodesea’s body, I looked at Gabrielle. She fell down on her knees; she bowed her head and raised her hands as if to offer me to bind them. I enjoyed watching her on her knees surrendering before me, because she was an Amazon (I could tell by her clothes) and they rarely surrender. I admit it looked suspicious to me.

"Gabrielle, isn’t it?" I was so smug.

"Yes, your highness." she retorted.

"So...An Amazon no less...Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now."

"Not just an Amazon, but Queen of the Amazons, your highness. You might find me valuable. The Amazons will do anything in order to save their queen." She answered. I still hesitated, I couldn’t decide whether to kill her or lock her up in one of the dungeons. She picked up on my hesitation and so she added:

"I have also known you for the past four years and there is noone who can tell you more about those years you have no recollection of, than me," she said.

"Raise your head." I commanded. She did as I ordered. I began to examine her. She had beautiful emerald eyes and beautiful features. Her body was muscular, firm and young… I could see her luscious round breasts since she was wearing only an Amazon brown leather bra to her white skin. She must be a very talented and experienced lover…being queen of the Amazons and all, she probably bedded lots of Amazons…mmm…spring chickens, I thought to myself. I felt so much like fucking her right then and there. Alas, I had all this business of war and conquering Britannia going on, and I needed to stay focused.

"How do you know me?" I demanded to know.

"We used to travel together." She answered.

"I don’t believe you. What would I do, traveling with an Amazon Queen?" I shouted at her.

"It’s true, we were friends." She answered in a low voice, almost a whisper.

"You lying bitch, I know you’re lying … I don’t have friends… aachh…that word alone "friends" makes me feel sick to my stomach." In a swift motion I knelt on one knee in front of her. Facing her, my nose almost touching hers. I grabbed her chin with two fingers and squeezed it so strongly I almost broke her jaw. " Lie to me and I’ll kill you…and careful, Gabrielle, for I’ll know when you’re lying, I can smell liars." I hissed and sniffed.

"I swear to you I’m not lying, your highness." She answered. I haven’t decided yet if I believed her or not but I knew for sure I was not going to kill her… not till I was done with her. Not till I’d suck from her all the pleasure I could possibly derive from her.

"Say, Gabrielle, where are your Amazon warriors that came here with you?" I asked, letting go of my grip and on my feet again.

"There are none, your highness." She replied. Before she even finished her reply I slapped her hard on her face, breaking the skin of her lips. I saw blood dripping form her lower lip onto her chin and onto her neck.

"WHERE ARE THEY?" I shouted.

"We’re here." Two Amazons came from a secret door that looked like a very non-suspicious wall. I’m sure they hadn’t seen it coming, but with one immense blow of my sword I decapitated the blond one, Messelina, as I later learned her name. One cannot believe the amount of blood splashing from a decapitated body. Her blood splashed all over my face and clothes. I licked my lips to taste her blood. Nothing tastes better than warm blood other than a woman’s warm sex juices. I enjoyed a good kill, and killing an Amazon woman was by far a great kill. I saw horror in Gabrielle’s eyes. She was so terrified that she wet her skirt and made a puddle of urine beneath herself. I couldn’t contain my laughter. The dark Amazon, Chilapa, tried to grab Gabrielle and run, thinking I was distracted by Gabrielle’s little puddle. How foolish of her. I took out my whip and rapped it around her ankles. She fell down and cried out with pain.

At that point one of my men entered the fortress’ hall and informed me that my help was needed on the battlefield. I grabbed both my Amazon prisoners, and easily found my way down to the dungeons. As we descended lower, the wall became darker and more moist.. The air became cooler and mossy. A dim light came from the torches that were hooked to the walls, the fire dancing, casting my shadow on the walls. Gabrielle was weeping like an infant. I couldn’t believe she was queen of the Amazons.

As we finally arrived at the dungeon's cells, I threw Gabrielle in one cell and Chilapa in the next. Between the two cells, there was a door of iron bars. I have decided to let them be able to see one another and to speak to one another so that I could gather as much information as possible. In Gabrielle’s cell, there was this bed in the shape of an altar, made out of stone, and iron chains in order to bind both hands and legs. I made Gabrielle lay on it and I bound her with the chains. After I finished binding her, I leaned down to her and I whispered in her ear, "Honey, please wait up for me." I could see the terror in her eyes and the goose bumps on her skin. She looked so pathetic, like a frightened little child. I burst into laughter and left her cell.

When I returned to the main hall, I took my sword and decapitated Bodesea’s body. After removing her head I pinned it on a spear and pinned the spear at the gates of the fortress. Within a few candlemarks, my army, with me in the lead, butchered Bodesea’s poor excuse for an army and I knew the throne was mine.

At midnight I returned to the fortress. I was covered with blood and bits of human skin and brain. I called upon the maid to draw me a bath. After a few moments, a hot bath was ready for me. I entered it, soaking my aching muscles in the soapy water. I washed and scrubbed myself from all the filth of war that my body caught. After I finished I called my maid again and she helped me get dressed.

I still had plenty of adrenaline in my blood so I’d decided I should go ahead and pay a visit to my little blond prisoner. I ordered my maid to come with me and bring with her a tray with fresh water, some bread and some cheese.

We started going down what seemed like endless cases of stairs, until we finally arrived at the cell.

"Leave the tray on the floor and leave." I ordered her. She immediately did as I ordered and left. Gabrielle was sleeping. I was both disappointed and glad. Disappointed, because I was hoping she would wait for me, and glad because now I had a reason to beat the shit out of her. I raised my right hand and slapped her face as hard as I could.

"Rise and shine, spring chicken, rise and shine!" I screamed and laughed. I was hovering over her body now. The blow to her head was powerful; I was surprised her head didn’t detach from her shoulders. Her eyes shot open and she looked at me with terror.

" You slept well, I trust…" She didn’t answer. I raised my arm again and slapped her on the other cheek.

"Answer me when spoken to.," I growled. Her face took a reddish color from my slaps.

"Well I hope you enjoy your stay in my humble fortress, Gabrielle, I know I intend to enjoy your staying." She started weeping again.

"Save your tears, little girl. Save your tears for someone who has mercy in her heart, or for someone who has a heart for that matter." I said, as I was watching her fighting back her tears. I freed her hands and legs from the chains and pushed her up to a sitting position.

"Your food is waiting for you on the floor. Go get it."

"Thank you, your highness." She whispered and went towards the cell door.

"Be advised, however, should you attempt to run away, have no doubt I’ll come after you, and I will get you. Furthermore, I will kill your little friend in the next cell, and that’s a promise." My snorting was accompanied by a motion of slaying I did with my finger over my throat. Chilapa woke up and I saw Gabrielle look at her.

"Can I bring her some food as well, your highness?" she asked with a trembling voice.

"Go ahead. I’m not a monster, you know." I retorted. Gabrielle, after picking up the tray from the floor, went to the other door with the iron bars that was between their cells and passed the water and some bread and cheese to Chilapa. Chilapa grabbed the food with both hands and literally stuffed her face. Gabrielle sat back on the bed of stone and ate.

"So, we used to travel together… eh?" I questioned.

"Yes, your highness, we’ve been traveling together for the past four years." She answered. I felt she didn’t lie. After all, my mother did ask me about her so I guess I did know her.

"Where and how did we meet?"

"I first met you in my village, Poteidaia. You saved the villagers from a warlord named Draco"

"What do you mean, I saved the village, didn’t I rob it, killed all living?" I was starting to get skeptical.

"No." She answered. "When I met you that day you were already a good person, your Highness… you had found a light in your heart… Hercules and I showed you…" She retorted and for the first time after I entered her cell, she looked at me.

"I don’t believe you…" I gave her the look of death.

"I swear it, your highness."

"I don’t believe you… I have no heart, I have no soul…there is no light in me, only darkness" I got so mad I felt I could rip her heart out while it was still beating. I grabbed her and chained her.

"Enough with the lies, little girl, enough with the talking. I want some action, and you are going to give it to me!" I shouted. I don’t think that at this point she knew what I was up to. But after I ripped her leather bra, exposing her beautiful, soft breasts, it started to sink in.

"Or should I say - give in to me?" I laughed and took the whip that was rolled on a hook in the wall. I raised my hand with the whip and hit her with immense force. She screamed with all the air in her lungs. I saw her white flesh rip from the impact and blood coming off of her. I felt exhilarated. I felt my heart racing and on my face a big smile stretched from ear to ear. I raised my hand again and struck her again…The sound of the whip meeting her flesh made me sizzle and her screaming of pain lifted me. I raised my hand and whipped her again. A scream didn’t escape her mouth this time, for her teeth bit on her lower lip tearing the flesh. Blood was dripping from her lip to her chin. I leaned over and with a long stroke I licked the blood from her chin and lip.

"Stop it… you twisted bitch…stop it…don’t touch her…" Chilapa shouted hysterically, grabbing the bars with both hands and trying to break them down. By the look she had on her face I knew she had the hots for her queen...So, it’s going to be more exiting than I thought. With a quick motion, I swung the whip around Chilapa’s neck and the bars so that she will be forced to see all that was going on in Gabrielle’s cell.

I went back to Gabrielle, and ripped both her skirt and her britches. The sight of her blond curls and her wonderful pink nub set me on fire.

"You are beautiful," I stated. "I want you to fuck me, Gabrielle," I said with a lascivious look on my face.

"Please, your Majesty, don’t." She begged between her sobs. I took off my dark blue cloak and the velvet blue dress I had on. I took off my underwear and finally my boots. I stood before her stark naked as she was. I approached her like a tiger approaches its prey. I climbed up onto the bed of stone and straddled her head. The look of her head between my thighs aroused me to no end. I felt I was soaking wet.

She tried to resist me, I’ll give her that, she foolishly tried to thrust her head from side to side but I had her head set firmly between my thighs. She hopelessly tried to move her hands and legs, tried to break free from the chains but with no success

"Stick out your tongue, little girl." I commanded. When I didn’t feel her tongue on my clitoris I shouted to the top of my lungs "STICK IT OUT, I SAID…OR I’LL KILL’YA BOTH!" The feel of sexual arousal not being satisfied and the rage I felt for not being obeyed, made me feel insane. I felt I was about to lose control. She stuck out her tongue and licked my clit.

"Harder." I barked at her "Harder, little girl…show me what you can do." I hissed. I wanted to come all over her face so badly that I started bucking against her sweet tongue, riding her face violently. " Suck me, little girl, lick my wetness." It felt so good and erotic I didn’t want it to end. "Drink everything I give you…swallow my juices, little girl…" Beneath Chilapa’s screams, I could hear Gabrielle’s small crying voice, and her repeated pleadings:

"No…Please, I beg of you don’t do this to me, please, have mercy on my soul…please…stop". I could feel her tears streaming onto my thighs.

"No no no, you are allowed to speak only when I tell you, little girl." I said while thrusting on her warm and wet tongue. " Say I taste good." I ordered.

"You…ta…" she mumbled.

"What? I can’t hear you, little girl." I growled.

"You taste good, your majesty." She wailed like a wounded animal and went on pleasuring me with her tongue.

I looked down on her. I wanted to see her face while she was fucking me. My eyes met hers, and upon eye contact, a strange feeling went through me. I can’t explain what happened to me, but I could not look into her eyes…it didn’t make me feel good…It was an unfamiliar feeling…One I knew I had never felt before. The look she had…I saw that the light in her eyes was off. Nevertheless, I desperately needed release, so I stepped down from her face and unchained her – all without looking at her face. I turned her around, so that she would lie on her stomach, and chained her back. Her face turned to the right. I laid myself on top of her, my sex against her ass, my breasts against her back. I rested my head on hers, ear to ear, my face turned to the left, opposite to her direction, for I couldn’t bear looking at her eyes. I was facing Chilapa though, and it thrilled me. The pain and sorrow that was evident on her face while she watched me fucking her queen, the woman she loved, ignited me.

I gagged Gabrielle’s mouth with my right hand so that I wouldn’t hear her crying and pleading. My left hand found her center’s shaft and I plunged four fingers inside her and I pumped her hard…In and out. It’s not that I wanted her to come or anything, as a matter of fact, I couldn’t care either way, it’s just that I knew that she’d resist me and would tighten her muscles. I was right, Her body was tight and so was her ass, which was firm and hard. That was great for me, because now I had all the friction I needed. I began rocking my hips against her ass, rubbing my clit against it; smearing my wetness all over her firm round ass- it was bliss.

I moaned and growled louder and louder, thrusting my sex faster and faster. I was very close to climaxing.

"Say Chilapa, have you ever…had your Queen? Mounted her? Have you ever fucked her, as I’m fucking her now?" Chilapa cried loudly now. Her eyes filled with tears, but I rejoiced, and my eyes didn’t leave hers, they were piercing her.

"I wanted to thank you for sharing her with me, she really is a great fuck." I had a feeling these two were lovers. A vicious grin was spread on my lips.

"I know you like it, being fucked by me…I know you want it, I know you love it… I can tell … little girl…" and with these words, a great orgasm hit me. As it hit I pinned my teeth into Gabrielle’s shoulder, biting her flesh forcefully. I rode it for as long as I could, screaming my brains out. After I came down from my delicious, satisfying climax, I noticed there was silence. Chilapa just stared at me. As for Gabrielle, for a minute there I thought I had accidentally suffocated her to death, but I felt her breathing under me. Right after I had dismounted her, Gabrielle puked her guts out. It was hilarious.

"You are mine now, Gabrielle, all mine." I muttered. I picked up my dagger from the floor and slowly carved the word XENA on Gabrielle’s back, after every line carved, I cleaned the blood from her back with my hand, and then I licked the blood from it. Then, I climbed up to the bed of stone again and stood over my blond prisoner, one foot next to her right side the other next to the left. I stuck out my hips a little and bent my knees a little and I started peeing on Gabrielle’s sliced back. I knew my urine would make her feel as if her back was on fire. I knew it would sting. I heard her wailing weakly, like a wounded little puppy. Once I was done, I jumped down the bed stone, and put on my clothes.

I leaned down towards Gabrielle’s ear and whispered in her ear. "I knew the Amazons didn’t give you the right of caste for nothing, sweetheart…you did great." I smirked and lightly spanked her ass in satisfaction.

"Good night, girls. Sweet dreams." I chuckled as I exited the cell.

I went up the endless staircase, entered the main hall and then retired to my new bedchamber, passing through my two guards posted at the door. Finally I was alone. I took off my clothes and lay down on my bed. I haven’t slept in three nights and I was dead tired. Be that as it may, as I closed my eyes I saw Gabrielle’s eyes in my mind. That look that she had in her eyes while I fucked made me feel uneasy...I couldn’t shake either my feelings or her eyes. I didn’t know what to make of it. I knew It wasn’t remorse, guilt or shame…could it be compassion? I shook that thought from my head... I am not a compassionate woman. It took me a while, but I fell asleep eventually.



Chapter 5

"These things go through your head

when there’s a man on your back

but I haven’t seen Barbados

so I must get out of this…"

Tori Amos

From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

She caught me. She caught me trying to warn Bodesea. What was I thinking? I should have known. What makes her such a great warrior, aside from her wit, battle skills and foresight, is her ability to be unpredictable. For some stupid reason I thought I could actually kill her, and thanks to my stupidity, Messelina is dead and Chilapa lost her mind. As for me…I can’t even begin to describe what I have lost, what she has taken from me. I feel like an empty shell with nothing in me. I feel like my own shadow. I don’t care much about the beatings or the whippings, true, it was a torture, but nothing can compare to the other thing she did to me, nothing. The bruises will heal and the pain would fade away, but the scars she left on my soul will remain there forever.

I don’t believe I will ever forgive her for what she did to me.

I remember seeing her in my cell, all dressed up in blue velvet, with strings of gold attached. She was viciously breathtaking. My face was hurting like Tartarus from her slaps and all I could think, was how damn gorgeous she looked, with that blue velvet that brought out the color of her eyes.

I remember seeing her raising her hand that held the whip and whipping me with no mercy. The pain was unspeakable. I thought I was going to die.

The funny thing was, even after she ripped of my skirt and britches, I didn’t believe she would…do that to me, not the woman I love. But very soon I knew exactly what she wanted. I tried begging her, but it was no use. Somewhere at the back of my head I kept telling myself. Don’t worry, Gabrielle, she won’t do anything evil to you, she is not a complete monster, you know her…When she took off her clothes a new realization crashed into my mind…She will do it to me.

I looked at her naked body, how I missed that beautiful, divine, pleasuring and loving body of hers. I desperately wanted her to touch me, to kiss and embrace me, despite my acknowledging the fact she wasn’t the person I used to know and love. At first I thought to myself, even though she is not the woman I used to know, I could pretend in my mind she was. Alas, a very important point slipped my mind, she wasn’t about to give me - she was about to take from me.

I remember her straddling my face, I remember her scent…That familiar odor I couldn’t get enough of. My battle had begun. The hardest, most difficult battle I ever fought, by far the worst yet. I tried to resist her, but I felt like I wasn’t resisting hard enough. I wanted her to take me. I wanted her to leave me alone, I wanted to pleasure her, and I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to suck her. I wanted her to get off of me. I wanted … I didn’t know what I wanted.

I remember her yelling at me. Yelling those disgusting horrible words at me. I tried to play a tune in my head so that I wouldn’t hear her, but failed miserably. I remember her taste, and her riding on my face. I wanted to die. I imagined I was some place else, far from Britannia, in Poteidia, away from her. My mind wanted her to stop, my heart and soul wanted her to stop, but my body begged of her to go on.

I remember her suddenly stopping, right after that brief moment our eyes met. I didn’t know what happened. I knew she was close to the edge, after all. I had made love to her countless times in the past; I knew her body like I knew my own. She got off my face; she unchained me, rolled me over onto my stomach and lay on my back. The sensation of feeling her entire body all over mine was incredible. Her head was pressed against mine. I felt she was so close to me. Just when my body needed her to enter it, she plunged her fingers inside my opening and invaded me. I was afraid…afraid she might feel I was soaking wet…afraid she would notice that my body wanted her, desired her. My inner battle became harder. I thought I was going crazy, I seriously feared my soul wouldn’t survive this battle. The mind was weak and the body was willing. Soon, I felt her rocking on my ass, thrusting violently against it. I felt she was about to come, by the way she rocked and the sounds she made.

Thank the gods she gagged my mouth, otherwise she would have heard my moans and my cries as I climaxed with her. Thank the gods she was so caught up with her own pleasure she was blind to mine. After I climaxed I felt my soul leave my body as if it couldn’t stand the presence of my beastly, lustful veil and wretched body. I hated myself for coming. I was so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I vomited as soon as she got off me.

When she carved her name on my body, I didn’t resist, and I didn’t cry, I merely wailed. I didn’t wail because of the pain and disfiguring she inflicted on my body, but because of my tormented, helpless soul. She wasn’t aware of it, but she punished my body for enjoying. My body was being punished the way I wanted it to be punished. Had she not hurt it the way she did, I would have hurt it myself with my own two hands. I was also grateful for the gnawing mark she left on my shoulder.

There are no words to describe how humiliated I felt when she urinated on me. But I felt like I deserved it for enjoying her touch. A humiliating ministration to a well-deserved and wretched body.

After she finally left, I looked at Chilapa. The poor girl started mumbling like a raving lunatic. I couldn’t understand, at first, what she was saying, but at last I figured it out. She was saying "It’s coming for our souls, It wants us, it’ll get us, it’s winning." By "it" she meant her. Chilapa’s eyes were running everywhere, everywhere other than at me. I knew it was beyond my power and ability to help her at this time, I didn’t think I was all there, myself.

I’m trying so hard not to hate her, trying to convince myself it’s not the woman I fell in love with, the woman that loved me. That she has some goodness within her. I don’t know who was winning, my hatred or my love, all I knew was that throughout everything I just wrote, I couldn’t bring my self to write down her name …not even once.


From The Queen of Britannia’s Log

(Written by Queen Xena)

I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt that unbelievable urge to go down stairs to my blond prisoner. I wanted to see her. I couldn’t explain it but she made me feel weird. I got out of my large bed. I didn’t bother wearing my clothes. I went down in my night shift. When I got there, I freed Chilapa’s head from the bars. I didn’t want her to break her neck should she fall asleep, because she was still useful to me. I could threaten her life and Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons, would do everything I wish. Chilapa crawled up in the distant corner of her cell and fell asleep. I could tell she was, because she finally shut up.

Then I went to Gabrielle. When I open her cell’s door, the stench of urine, vomit, sex and sweat, attacked my nostrils. I felt like I was about to puke or something. Amazingly, she was awake. I unchained her and rolled her on her back. She wouldn’t look at me.

"I think you need some stitches," I muttered and picked her up in my arms and carried her to my bedchamber. I didn’t want her to die of infection because I wasn’t done with her yet. Once I got to my bedchamber I lowered her down to a chair and rang for my maid.

"Draw me a hot bath." I commanded. She went and did as I ordered and she filled the bathtub in my bedchamber with hot, steamy water.

"Take off her boots." I ordered my maid. My maid obeyed, knelt before Gabrielle and took of her boots.

"Now leave me alone." After I heard my bedchamber door close, I turned to Gabrielle.

" Get in the tub." I said. I saw her slowly stand up and walk with the smallest of steps towards the tub. Her legs were shaking so wildly; it looked like the slightest drift could knock her down. She looked like a little fledgling, with her small, shaky and beaten body and her yellow head. She looked so fragile.

When she reached the tub, she stopped.

"What’s the matter?" I asked.

"I can’t get in by myself, I need help." She said with an apologizing tone. I approached her and offered her my arm for support. She grabbed my arm and slowly got into the tub. She sat inside, closed her eyes and a small moan escaped her lips. After a few minuets she opened her eyes, took soap and started cleaning up her body from all the filth that was stuck to it.

I rang my maid again and ordered her to bring me certain healing herbs. She brought them to me and I excused her. I stared at Gabrielle, without her catching my gaze. She looked so beautiful and graceful indeed. The way she was touching herself, running her small hands over her body…it was sensual and erotic and sent me ablaze with passion. I wanted to take her again. Before I even moved towards her she looked deep into my eyes, and the passion that was nesting in my loins faded away. What in Tartarus is happening to me? I was so frustrated I felt like killing something. I then began to realize I could never take her again the way I did. That notion upset and bothered me. That whirlpool of feeling almost threw me off balance, so I fought those thoughts.

"So, you said we used to travel together…" I encouraged her to talk, to tell me all the things I couldn’t remember.

"Correct, your highness, I wanted to get out of Poteidia and you were willing to take me with you, to show me the world." She said and went on soaping her body.

"We traveled and did what?" I asked.

"I’m afraid if I’ll tell you, your highness, you wouldn’t believe me and punish me." She whispered.

"Tell me!" I ordered louder, beginning to lose the already small amount of patience I had.

" We roamed the countryside, doing good deeds, helping people." She answered trembling all over her body, waiting for the blow.

"What happened to Borias? "

"He was killed by Dagnon and your maid, Setrina, helped him." She answered. I couldn’t believe my ears. I wasn’t surprised she knew Borias and Dagnon, after all, they were well-known warlords, but my personal maid Setrina, how could she know about her?

"How do you know about Setrina?"

"We met her, don’t you remember…she had an army…she poisoned the food… You told me about her…" Her tone was as if she was trying to steer up my memory. She went on.

"You told me that she delivered your son, Solan." She said. I was shocked.

"Solan." my voice drifted.

"You told me about him too, we also went to visit him at the Centaur’s land." She went on, amazing me. No one but me knew about Solan. At that point I knew she wasn’t lying. I realized we must have been really close, if she knew about him. It meant I trusted her. All these revelations made me speechless and amazed. I just couldn’t understand how I could allow myself to trust someone so much. I was confused. I needed some time alone to sort things out.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"Yes, your highness." She answered and stood up. I watched the water dripping from her naked form. I handed her my arm for support and she grabbed it and climbed out of the bathtub.

"You need to clean your wounds with these herbs." I instructed her and gave them to her. She took them and started rubbing them on the sore areas on her body.

"Sit down. I’ll stitch you up." She sat down. "It’s going to hurt." I warned her. She nodded. I took the needle between my fingers and stitched her up. She didn’t make a sound, though the agony was evident on her face.

"You’re a big brave girl, now, aren’t ya?" I mocked her, and she lowered her gaze to her feet. That is so easy. What kind of an Amazon Queen is she anyway?

"I’m done." I informed her. I gave her a clean leather bra and a matching skirt. She got dressed up and put on her boots. I ordered one of my guards to go down to Gabrielle’s cell and clean up all the mess.

"I’m taking you back to your cell in a short while." I notified her.

"May I ask…" before she even finished her sentence I launched my fist to her jaw knocking her and the chair she was sitting on, down to the floor.

"Speak only when spoken to." I reminded her, emphasizing each word and continued, "Now, was there something you wanted to ask me?" I queried.

"Why do you care about me? Why did you clean and stitch me?" she asked, rubbing her jaw.

"Are you delusional, little girl? I don’t care about you, I do however, want to keep you alive. See, a spy of mine informed me that the Amazon’s army is going to come to Britannia tomorrow and try rescue you." I explained. "Why on earth would you think I care about you?" At that point my guard returned to my bedchamber and told me that the cell was clean. I put my hand on Gabrielle’s neck and squeezed a little harder to secure my grip and headed down stairs.

From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

"These precious things

Let them break, let them wash away"

Tori Amos

After being chained back to the bed of stones and Xena’s departure, I could finally start analyzing what went on in her bedchamber.

I was shocked and terrified when I saw her back in my cell. I feared her return. When she unchained me, I was afraid she would take me again. When I felt her grip beneath my knees and back, and my body being lifted, I thought maybe she would kill, me and I was being carried by angels to the other side. I didn’t say a word. While in her arms I glanced briefly so that she wouldn’t notice I was watching her. Her face was frozen, her gaze aimed ahead. Finally we got to her bedchamber and she ordered a hot bath to be drawn for me.

My body was broken and my spirit tormented. On one hand, I wanted to clean my body from today’s events, but on the other hand I didn’t want to wash away Xena’s scent. I was standing close to the edge of the tub and couldn’t make up my mind. Should I or shouldn’t I wash her away from me? While standing there I remembered that often, after Xena and I finished a love session, I wouldn’t wash my hands so that, during the day, whenever I wanted to smell her passion I would raise my fingers to my nose and inhale. Her harsh voice brought me back from my little mental stroll. With a human gesture she helped me in the tub. I washed myself, reluctantly or not. Then I saw that look I knew so well, the look she had when she wanted me. That look she gave me, however, had evil in it. There wasn’t just passion, there was also hideousness. Without thinking, by reflex I looked into her eyes, somehow, I knew it would keep her away from me, and it did.

She started asking me questions. When I mentioned Solan’s name I knew I threw her off a bit, she was probably surprised to learn I knew about him. I didn’t dare tell her what happened to him. There was no telling what she might do once she found out my daughter killed her son. Then she stitched me. I kept forgetting she was not the woman I used to know and love, and stupidly asked her, why she cared for me. I’m sure she got a real kick out of that one…

She told me her spy spotted my army close to Britannia. I didn’t know what to do but I had to save their lives. There is no one on earth that is a worthy opponent for Xena, not even my Amazons. I had to find a way to save them.

I had to find a way to bring down Xena. Nothing else mattered. I know now she is not the woman I fell in love with but a beast, a monster that had to be either killed or tamed. How does one tame a killer beast? How do I teach it to feel and love? I have to tell her everything that we have been through together. Well not at first, for there are certain things that I know I shouldn’t tell her, the kind of things that require trust, and she doesn’t trust anyone.

For once, I must not tell her anything personal about my feeling or myself. Otherwise she’ll get inside my head and I don’t need her inside my head. She is a smart one…she is too smart. But I am better with words than she, I am the bard, after all and I can try and manipulate her and thus tame her. I also know things about her and things that happened to her that she doesn’t, so I have a small edge over her. I must use that advantage wisely.

Furthermore, I can’t tell her that she and I used to be lovers. She’ll use it as ammunition to destroy me. She’ll feast on the notion. I know she would.

It will not be easy, for she doesn’t remember either Hercules or me. There is no one that had softened her a bit, before me, at least no one that she can remember. I am on my own against the ruthless predator. I should bear in mind that she only understands words like power, control and fear. This is the language she speaks and understands, and so I must talk to her in the language she understands. I will not show mercy. I have to be strong and beat her at her own game. I mustn’t fear her.

I have to make her fall in love with me all over again, from the beginning.

From The Queen of Britannia’s Log

(Written by Queen Xena)

At dawn, the Amazons began their attack on Britannia, my domain. I must hand it to them; they put up quite a fight. I was on the battlefield killing young, strong Amazons with my sword and chakram with one thought on my mind. What a waste, killing them like this instead of fucking them. At some point they retreated in order to regroup. I let my army make camps and rest as well. During that time, an Amazon approached my camp. Her hands were in the air and she announced that she didn’t carry weapons with her. I walked to her and faced her. She told me she was the acting queen. She said she came to Britannia in order to save their Queen, Gabrielle, and that they are willing to trade half of their lands for her. In light of her offer I declared a temporary truce and invited the acting queen to my fortress in order to discuss it. I could use some land over in Greece, especially Amazon land, I thought to myself, however, Gabrielle was valuable to me too, as she was the only person who could tell me about my past ten years.

We entered my fortress, and into its main hall. I sent two of my guards to go fetch Gabrielle. They did as I ordered and within a few minutes Gabrielle was in the main hall as well.

Upon seeing Gabrielle’s face and body I saw terror on the acting queen’s face.

"Gabrielle, surely you know Manilla, the acting queen of your tribe?" I introduced.

"Yes I do, your majesty." She answered.

"Manilla here has a proposition for me, Gabrielle. She wants to trade you for half of Amazon lands… What do you think, little girl, are you worth it?" I asked, knowing that there is nothing more humiliating for a ruler than being mocked in front of her subjects.

"As a matter of fact, your highness, I am still Queen of the Amazons. Manilla is not authorized to make such agreements. I will not allow half of the Amazon lands to come as an exchange for my life. These lands are vital to the Amazons. As for the Amazon army, I command you to retreat to our land, leave Britannia at once!" She ordered Manilla. Her commanding voice and the determined look darting out of her eyes took me by surprise.

"But, my queen, I can’t leave you…." Manilla started but when Gabrielle’s "ruling look" pierced her eyes, she bowed her head and submissively said, "Yes, my queen."

Within several candlemarks the Amazons left my land and by dusk I was back in my fortress. After I had cleaned up, I ordered some food, and Gabrielle to be brought to my bedchamber. I was already sitting at the table, eating, when my guards entered with her.

"Sit down, Gabrielle." I said without looking at her, while I was cutting the extra raw meat lying on my plate. Gabrielle took her seat across the table, facing me.

" Tell me what happened after we left Potedaia." I said and stuck the blood dripping meat inside my mouth.






From Gabrielle’s Scrolls

For the past two moons or so, I can’t tell exactly because it’s difficult to track time in the dungeon. Xena has summoned me to her bedchamber every evening around dinner time to hear me tell the stories of our traveling together. We almost always talked till midnight.

She let me talk freely. She didn’t ask any questions while I was talking. She just sat in front of me and listened.

I told her everything that we had been through together. The people we met, the friends we’d made, the evil we fought and so on... Well, not everything... I didn’t tell her about Solan. I didn’t tell her about my marriage to Perdicus, about my jealousy attack over Lao-Ma and my betrayal. I tried as hard as I could not to make the impression that she and I were lovers, or loved each other so much. It was a very difficult, almost impossible task, for everything we did, we did for each other. Love and devotion was evident even in the smallest of gestures. I told her about our trip to India and about Eli. About what happened in Rome and about Caesar and the crucifixion. I told her about what happened in heaven and in hell after we passed over. However, I didn’t tell her anything about what Naima said, regarding us being soul mates, destined to be together for eternity. I didn’t tell her about what she told me when she was a demon, about our love being stronger than Heaven or Hell, good or evil.

Around the time I was telling her about our adventures, I tried to attend to Chilapa during the days. She was in a terrible state. It seemed as if she was living in her own world, totally detached from reality. She needed a healer but Xena couldn’t care less. I tried asking Xena to send for her healer but all I got from her was a brutal assault on my back with a staff. I learned never to speak the name "Chilapa" to her.

From Dana’s diary

(Her majesty’s maid)

Getting used to being the new Queen of Britannia’s personal maid was the hardest task I’ve ever been subjected to. My former mistress, Queen Bodesea, was a gentle and kind woman, loved by her subjects. However, Queen Xena…well, saying she is quite the opposite is a gross understatement. On her first day of ruling, she issued an act that every household in Britannia had to give her three quarters of its weekly production as tax. Most households in Britannia could not afford to give her one-quarter without living in poverty. The sight of hungry, crying, neglected children in the villages didn’t penetrate the iron walls she has around her heart, assuming she had one. All she cared about was having as many dinars as she could possibly get her hands on, in order to purchase more weapons and men for her army.

People tried to hide their products from her soldiers in very creative ways, I might add. But her majesty is not a fool, mind you. She had spies amongst the villagers. Whenever she caught a villager hiding his products from her she would execute him and his entire family out in the street for everyone to behold.

At first, I didn’t understand why she would kill an entire family for the wrongs of one of it’s members. But after a few days I figured it out. Family members started pouring into her fortress snitching on their own flesh and blood about hiding products from her. She would reward them with food and execute the ones that disobeyed her. It was the worst of times. Family members in Britannia couldn’t trust one another. Wives snitching on their husbands, brothers snitching on their sisters and so on.

But that’s not the worst of her doings. Innocent people started disappearing during the night. The people who disappeared were the ones who tried to rebel against her and her tyranny. The villagers would find their loved ones butchered. Almost to a point beyond recognition, with their internal organs, minus their hearts and livers, scattered around their bodies. It was a horrific sight. Sometimes children were the ones to discover those ghastly remains. Lots of them, poor babies, lost their ability to speak and remained mute - pacified by fear.

I knew it was her majesty’s handwork, for no one other than herself was capable of such a monstrosity. At first I didn’t understand when and how she did it. Every night, around midnight, I would peek into her bedchamber door and see two guards escorting that blonde prisoner of hers back to her cell. I would remain awake throughout the night, peeking at her chamber door. I didn’t see her come out, not even for a brief moment. I knew her bedchamber well, for it used to belong to my former mistress. I knew it only had one secret passage located inside her closet that leads to the room next door. I checked it out too, but I never saw her leave the next room either.

One night, as I was wracking my brain over it, I played with the idea that maybe she left through her bedchamber’s window. I know it sounds crazy for it is incredibly high, and at night, when it’s so dark and misty, no one in their right mind would dare go out that window. But then again, her majesty is far from being in her right mind, and so that night, I peeked from my own bedchamber window that is placed next to hers. My heart pounded wildly, and my palms were soaking wet with cold sweat. I didn’t dare think what would become of me should she catch me. I saw her head sticking out of her window. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She climbed out, head first, like a giant lizard creeping down the wall. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief; as she went down the fortress wall with her head closer to the ground than her legs. Her physical strength is inhuman and a source for legends. She went down quickly and skillfully and vanished in the misty dark night.

I remember the day she captured her blond prisoner, Gabrielle. I first saw Gabrielle after her majesty carried her into her bedchamber. By the look and the smell of her I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the queen had sexually molested her. It was such a terrible sight. Gabrielle looked broken and lifeless, my heart went out to her. I couldn’t shake the horror of that poor young girl, so I told the cook what I saw.

She controlled people by sheer fear. So much so, that if little children didn’t behave themselves, parents would threaten them that Xena would come to get them if they wouldn’t start behaving properly. It worked like a charm every single time.

There were very few people that ever saw her face to face. Most people only knew her by reputation. That, and the way she ruled, made a perfect atmosphere for rumors. Some think she eats the hearts and livers she extracts from her victims. Some say she is a bacchae. Some believe she is a demon that escaped hell. And some think she is Medusa’s daughter. One rumor has it that she keeps a young boy she kidnapped form one of the villages and starves him, and when ever she fancies a meal she lets him taste her food in order to check for poison. I know for a fact, it’s true.

I guess the rumor about her majesty raping her female prisoner, was one of the fastest to travel. That little truth gave birth to lots of rumors about her majesty, during her nightly escapades, raping her subjects’ young daughters. Well, I can neither confirm nor deny.

The truth of the matter is, I know this woman. I come in contact with her every single day. I saw the torture she inflicted on that poor blond prisoner of hers, and even I do not have a word for what she is.

From The Queen of Britannia’s Log

(Written by Queen Xena)

Unlike the previous nights where I summoned my prisoner to my bedchamber, this night I came down to have a little visit with her in her cell. As I entered, I saw her on her knees next to the door of bars that was between Chilapa’s cell and hers. Chilapa was pressing herself tight against the bars. Gabrielle cupped Chilapa’s face with her hands, gently caressing her, soothing her with warm words and a beautiful smile.

"WHAT IS THIS I SEE?" I yelled and grabbed Gabrielle and threw her across her cell.

"I knew it was a mistake letting you off the bed of stones, I should have kept you tied down."

I wasn’t done with her, not by a long shot. I rushed over to her and picked her up from the ground and slammed her against the wall. I took the whip that was rolled on a hook in the wall and started whipping her again with all the power I had, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel her flesh being torn beneath my fingers. I darted my iron fists into her ribs. I could hear her bones cracking inside. Chilapa in the next cell started screaming like an hysterical monkey, jumping up and down, grabbing the bars. However, Gabrielle didn’t make a sound.

"I should have known better than to leave two Amazon cunts on the loose." I hissed. I didn’t know exactly what it was that pissed me off about seeing Gabrielle stroking Chilapa’s face, but it boiled my blood. I guess I considered Gabrielle as my property and couldn’t stand the thought of someone else putting her hands on my merchandise.

Gabrielle collapsed to the ground holding her stomach with both hands. By the looks of it, it seemed as if she suffered an excruciating pain. I picked her up and tied her hands to a pair of shackles that were hooked to the walls in a crucifixion position. I tore her leather bra and cupped one palm in those luscious breasts of hers, and the other one to cover her eyes.

"YOU FUCKIN’ COWARD!" She shouted at me. "LOOK ME IN THE EYES WHEN YOU’RE RAPING ME!" I couldn’t believe my ears. I instantly took my hand from her green eyes and looked at her with amazement. It took me a few moments to get myself together and understand what had just happened.

"What’s the matter Xena, are you an impotent? Can’t you fuck me while looking into my eyes? Some warrior you are, letting a little woman like me control your desires. You are pathetic, you are a scared lonely pathetic woman, and you make me sick." I saw power and loathing in her eyes, I could see how much she despised me.

"I can’t believe what a small woman you are, little scared woman, a WEAK woman." Her voice never trembled. "You’re nothing but a poor excuse for a warrior. I can’t believe your soldiers and subjects fear you. If only they saw what I have seen…can’t bring her self to fuck a woman without blind folding her." She spat her poisonous words laughing in my face. I slapped her hard on the face, so hard her head violently jerked. When she came out of it, she spat in my face and kept on grinning.

"You fucking impotent…can’t look me in the eyes…" she burst into laughter all over again.

"I see you’ve lost you’re mind, just like your little friend here." I tried desperately to retaliate her insults. Beating the shit out of her wasn’t working anymore.

"My mind is clearer than ever, Xena, it’s not as clouded and addled as yours" She answered back. I couldn’t believe she dared challenge me, answering back to me. No one has ever dared to. I kicked her legs, almost breaking them.

"Tell me Xena, what made you such a bitch?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I lost it. I frantically pounded on her head with my fists, as if I was possessed. She started bleeding and lost consciousness. Her body went limp, her weight burdening her wrists. She looked lifeless. Blood was covering her face. I wish I hadn’t beaten her so damn hard. I freed her hands from the shackles and carried her up to my bedchamber. I washed the blood from her body with a wet cloth. I hoped I didn’t cause her any permanent damage. I stitched her wounds and put some healing materials on her body to prevent infection and to ease her pain. She slept throughout the night in my bed. I set on a chair next to the bed watching over her.

I didn’t understand my behavior. Why do I care? I realized I did care about her. There was no way around it anymore. I did not just covet her body. I felt I needed more. I was feeling more. What am I saying? What "more" is there other than lust?

At noon she finally opened her eyes. I knew she was having an agonizing headache. I offered her a mug of water and brought it to her swollen lips. She could barely handle her water.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked her as gently as I could.

"No thank you, Xena, I don’t think I’m capable of eating right now. I’m in too much pain." she retorted.

"You are not allowed to address me by my first name, prisoner. Am I making myself clear?" I hissed and leaned down towards her looking into her eyes looking for fear.

"Crystal clear Xena, but I don’t care how you allow me to address you. I will address you the way I see fit. I can’t address you as "your highness" when I think you’re such a low life creature. I am not afraid of you. What’s the worst you can do to me that you haven’t already done? Kill me? I wish you would. Kill Chilapa? The poor soul is probably better off dead anyway. Rape me? You’ve already done that and I survived. Besides, I don’t think you can…"

Where the hell did she get the nerve to talk to me this way? I was puzzled.

"Very well then, we’ll have it your way, you are free to talk to me anyway you wish and I’m free to beat the life out of you anyway I wish," I declared.

"Agreed." she answered. She tried to sit up higher on the pillows and I gave her a hand. "You might find out it is more pleasurable to talk to me rather then beating me." She said and smiled. That smile on her face lighted the bedchamber brighter than the sun.

"Very well then. " I started. "From your stories I could learn that you and I were very close friends." I continued and then paused.

"And?" she tried to squeeze my question out of me.

"I was wondering why you risked your life for me? Why were you willing to put up with everything I’ve put you through? " I asked.

"Because I cared about you and that’s what best friends do." She simply said.

"You do realize though, that the friend you once saw in me, she is gone forever. Don’t try looking for her in me, you won’t find her." I assured her with total conviction.

"I know." She breathed. After a few moments of silence I started asking her, "Who was…"

"Oh no, Xena, now it’s my turn." She said playfully and smiled again. What’s going on here? I’m starting to get hung up on every smile she gives me…What In the world?" Before I could finish my thought, she hit me with a question that left me speechless.

"What pleasure do you derive from inflicting pain on people? What need do you serve by killing? What does it do for you, the blood? The terror in your victim’s eyes? The control? Watching an agonizing human being?" she questioned.

"All of the above." I smirked, feeling very good about myself until I saw the look she gave me.

"Why are you so proud of yourself? Any idiot can terrorize people. I’ll admit you are doing a great job of it but almost anyone can do it." She explained. The smirk I had on my face just moments ago faded away.

"Who was your lover?" I demanded to know. I had a gut feeling that that Chilapa bitch was.

"I have never had any lover." She answered. I tried my best to find signs she was lying; swallowing saliva; sweating; voice trembling. I couldn’t tell for sure…

"You’re lying to me. You do realize there is a very simple way to check whether you’re a virgin or not?" I asked and brought my face closer to her.

"I’m not lying." She insisted, not a bit timid from my threat.

"Let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you are Queen of the Amazons and never had a lover? Do I look like a fool to you?" I was starting to feel as if a new tempest of wrath was about to break loose and befall Gabrielle.

"I’m not lying." She said without a shadow of fear.

"Isn’t Chilapa your lover? I see a puppy dog gaze whenever she looks at you…well…looked at you…unfortunately she is not with us anymore." I couldn’t contain a wicked grin.

"I believe she is in love with me, but I’m not in love with her." She looked into my eyes when she said it and in her steady voice I could hear sincerity. The fact that I felt relieved started to throw me off balance a little.

"You mean you’re a virgin?" It just seemed so far fetched to me that a woman like her never had a lover, not even once.

"Why is it so important to you?" She inquired.

"It’s nice to know I was your first, then." I said with a beaming smile, knowing the night I raped her was a night she would never forget. She shivered and looked away and I immediately regretted bringing that up. "Listen, I am willing to put you in the next bedchamber instead of the cell in my dungeons." I said without knowing from where that outburst of generosity came.

"Thank you Xena, but I prefer staying in my cell. I can’t leave Chilapa all alone down there." she politely declined my offer.

"By all means, stay in your cell" I answered. I rose up and called my guards to escort her to her cell.

The next morning I woke up with the urge to go see Gabrielle again. I was in awe of her. She dared to stand up to me. She had courage. She was by far one of the bravest people I’d ever seen. She was my prisoner. She couldn’t run away from me, she was at my mercy, and I could easily break her in two. Nevertheless, she dared speak to me the way she did last night, without a shred of fear. She intrigued me.

As I came down the stairs I detected two voices from afar. One was a voice of a male and the other was a voice of a young female. The closer I got, the clearer it appeared to me that these were the voices of my guard Midaicus and Gabrielle. I stood still and eavesdropped on their conversation. Apparently Midaicus and his wife had a fight.

Gabrielle did her best trying to understand what the fight was about. He told her he cheated on his wife. He told her his wife had found out about his little adventure and confronted him about it. I didn’t really care about Midaicus’ problems and indiscretions. I did, however, want to hear Gabrielle’s marital advice, particularly since she didn’t have any experience in that field. Gabrielle told him that his wife probably felt that she couldn’t trust him anymore and that it required a lot of hard work and that he would have to prove himself worthy of her trust. She also said it would take some time until the trust they once had is restored. Midaicus asked Gabrielle where she obtained such wisdom, considering her young age. I kept my ears peeled for I wanted to know her answer to this one. I was stunned when I heard what Gabrielle told him next. She told him that she once had a lover whom she loved more than life itself. She told him that although they had never committed adultery or shared their bodies with others, they betrayed each other differently and lied to one another. I heard her tell him that it took a lot of time, words and sacrifices until they gained back the trust they once had.

I didn’t hear what she said next to him. I had only one coherent thought in my mind. Gabrielle lied to me…she dared to lie to me…she told me she never had a lover and it turns out she had…I heard it from the horse’s mouth. I could feel my blood pounding in my ears and my fists became rock hard. She is going to pay for it. I’ll make her pay for it. I’ll make her suffer like she’s never suffered before. Like no man has ever suffered before. I almost feel sorry for her. I proceeded to her cell.

"Leave." I ordered Midaicus. He rushed away as if Hades was on his trails. I looked at her. She stood frozen and didn’t breathe and her face was whiter than snow.

"I am so sorry…" She began but I didn’t let her finish. I gave her an immense blow to her stomach. She curled in agony and sank onto her knees.

"Oh… you have no idea…" I hissed and grabbed her by her arm and dragged her on the floor like a mop to the wall with the shackles hanging from it. I chained both her hands and legs. She was in a spread eagle position against the wall. I took out my chakram and threw it. It missed her left ear by a mere inch.

"Who was he?" I demanded to know.

" I will never tell you her name!" she defied me.

"Her…so, it was one of your Amazon bitches, I guess." I raised my arm that held the chakram and threw it once more, this time missing her right ear by an inch, sparks flew.

"I’ll ask you again, what was her name?" I shouted.

"Go ahead and kill me, I will never tell you her name!" She shouted back, her body leaning forward.

"Kill you? Oh no sweetie, you’ll be begging me to kill you by the time I’m done with you. But I won’t give you that grace, you have my word." I rolled my head from side to side giving into the rush running inside my body.

"I won’t beg of you for anything," She breathed harshly. I approached her and put my chakram under her chin.

"Time will tell, little girl, only time will tell," I chuckled and turned back from her and went to Chilapa. I drew out my dagger and stuck it to Chilapa’s throat.

"Either you tell me who she is or crazy Chilapa here gets it. Don’t lie to me little girl for I’ll find out like I always do, one way or another. If I’ll find out you did lie to me I’ll skin you alive and pour hot wax on your body." I could see her hesitate a little.

"What is it going to be little girl?" I shouted and stuck my dagger closer to Chilapa’s neck.

"Never." She uttered finally.

"Very well then, farewell Chilapa, hope you enjoy the trip." I screamed those last few words to her ear and slaughtered her.

Gabrielle began to cry. I went out of Chilapa’s cell and went back to Gabrielle’s. I took out a handkerchief and wiped Gabrielle’s tears away.

"There, there." I said, stroking her short blond hair. "Her blood is on my hands. I would have killed her anyway. She was too damn noisy." She looked at me with burning hatred and I could sense she started to fear me again

I backhanded her face several times, making sure she wouldn’t pass out because I wanted her to feel my rage. With one swift motion I tore off her leather bra, exposing her beautiful breasts. I went a few steps backwards and I grabbed my whip and whipped her nipples. Her screams were deafening. The pain I inflicted on her nipples was great, but I didn’t strike her with my full capacity. I didn’t wont her to lose one of them. I didn’t want her disfigured.

She was crying, but I didn’t stop hurting her using my whip and making her breasts bleed. Just when she was a couple of strikes away from passing out, did I stop. But I didn’t think she had suffered enough. She slowly raised her head and looked at me with tears welled up in her eyes.

I approached her and knelt before her. I ripped off her skirt and threw it behind my shoulder exposing her blond patch of soft curls. I didn’t look at her face, but she knew where I was headed. Her body stiffened and she pressed it hard against the wall behind it, as far away from me as possible. But there was no escape from my mouth.

I spread her slightly wet folds with my fingers and thrust my tongue onto her clit.

"I will make it swell hard for both of our benefits, little girl." I cruelly said. I gave her clit one long hard lick. I felt her body shiver and trying desperately to press harder against the wall.

"I hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am." I said, and licked her opening, delving my tongue deep inside her warm core.

"You will give into me eventually. Why fight a battle you can’t win, Gabrielle? No man or woman ever resisted my ministrations. I have many skills, you know." I said and kept licking her sex, tasting her sweet juices flickering my tongue over her nub of pleasure. I could feel it slightly swell against my eager tongue.

"Not many people can say they had the soon-to-be Destroyer of Nations at their feet." I growled playfully and continued to firmly manipulate her sex ,swallowing the hot stream that began forming at her opening. I heard a small moan escape her lips.

"Oh…bring it on…I want to drink your arousal…I know I please you…I know you want me." I said with a throaty voice. I think that at that point she gave in to me. Her clit was swollen and rock hard and her tunnel was dripping wet. She arched her back pushing her sex as hard as she possibly could towards my mouth and her legs spread wide. Her body spoke wild passion and that notion send jolts to my crotch. I felt wetness dripping down my thighs beneath my black dress.

I cupped her ass with both my hands scratching it with my nails, pushing her pelvis to my face and penetrated her sex with my tongue.

"Tell me little girl, was your lover as good as me?" I asked without raising my head and without meeting her eyes. She didn’t answer. I punished her and stopped my assault on her sex.

"Was your lover as good as me?" I asked louder and more urgent.

"No, your highness, you are by far better in fucking me." She shouted. I closed my eyes for it was music to my ears even though she sounded so desperate.

"I’m going to give it to you hard…I’m going to give it to you all the way…I’ll fuck you till the end…I promise you…you’ll explode all over my face…" I went on kneading her nub of hot slippery flesh faster and faster.

"You are so close to climaxing I can feel it" I started sucking her clit, hearing her moans and growls. She was on the verge…so close to the edge…I knew it was a matter of brief seconds before she came. I could feel her body stiffen and then quiver. Her tunnel contracting and just before she reached her desirable climax, I pulled my head back cruelly ripping my tongue from her devouring cunt. I didn’t let her come.

I looked at her. Her body violently jerked. Her eyes were wide open in disbelief. She fought uselessly to free her hands from the shackles so that she could masturbate. Now I looked into her green fire eyes and saw hunger and frustration in them.

"Give me…please… I’m begging you." she almost cried.

"No way, little girl, see, that’s your punishment for lying to me." I gloated and rose to my feet.

"But you promised you’ll give it to me all the way."

"So I lied." I laughed. I turned and left her cell.


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