Full Circle
by Silence

Disclaimer: You know by now that I don't own them. This is set right after, "When Fates Collide." I thought that it was very moving and a dream Episode to the fan. Thanks to Kamouraskan for the beta. Short tale.

I was staring at the most beautiful moon thinking about my life and how I've come full circle. The first time Caesar crucified me, I lived for death. I wanted everything in my way to be crushed killed or destroyed. With the dream of one day tasting revenge on the Roman bastard. Revenge became a huge part of my semi-existence. If I could do anything to hurt or embarrass dear Caesar, I would do it and it cost me dearly.

The second time, well, my bard was with me and Callisto crippled me. Even then, my first thought was some sort of revenge on Caesar. I tried many ways to stop Alti's vision, but it was fated.

My bard fought for me and then died beside me. She chose the Way of Friendship over love. It cost us both dearly. Pleasantly ironic, even when dead, she and I are were together. I needed to change and revenge was looking far less appealing.

As they say, third time's the charm. Caesar altered our fates and created a new world. A world where he was the ruler and I was his Queen. The memory makes me want to vomit in pure disgust. What dear Caesar didn't count on was my Gabrielle. The moment I laid eyes on her, my heart began to beat and I just needed her. He didn't know that where ever I'm at, my soul will surely follow. Well known playwright. I have such pride and sadness at the same time. She could have kept the alternate world and continued her fame, but she chose to stay with me. As she explained to me, I would rather have a second of wonderful than a life of nothing special. She too felt her heartbeat each time we saw one another. My love, my soulmate.

Another thing that neither Caesar or I thought of was Alti. I never thought she would be in my life like that and it was very unsettling to have her there. I can't believe I am thinking this, but I owe Alti a thank you. If she didn't show me those visions, I would still be in my version of hell. It became so clear to me what I needed to do, if felt like a breath of fresh air.

I needed to walk down that path alone, this time not fearing or hating. Wanting vengeance on Caesar's betrayal of me again, my crucifixion. This time the only thing I felt was love and no one could take that away, ever. Walking to that cross and feeling that love, the Emperor lost already. I've come full circle. He lost and he knew it when Gabrielle's name was first mentioned. My stubborn brave bard destroyed the Fate's loom. She'd rather live in an abyss than the world dear Caesar created. It was strange, I felt myself dying, and then I was am in the forest riding little Argo. With this need pulling me. I rode fast and hard until I could see the reason why. There she was in her red Amazon outfit. My heart was beating again.

Its been a tough night for my sweet bard. The nightmares of the arrows striking me, the horse drag, to our last moments in my cell where I confessed my love for her. I'll love you forever. I hold her tighter to me so she knows I'm here and fine. I'm fine??? Words I never thought I would mean. I feel my eyes swell with unshed tears. I haven't felt this human since Lyceus was alive. A tear slips just to be wiped by a loving hand. There are no words we can say other than, I Love you. She fell back to sleep and I went back to admiring the moon tonight. Wonder if mother is watching? Before I slip off with my bard I had to say. "I'm back mother. I'm really back." I can't remember the last time I felt like just Xena and not the Warrior Prinicess. Full Circle. I will sleep for the first time in a long time, with my shoulders are a lot lighter.


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