Healing My Heart

by Teagen2


Violent Content Warning: This story contains scenes of a violent nature.

Sexual and Alternative Warning: This story also contains scenes of a sexual nature between two women. This story is not for those under the age of eighteen.

Timeline: Before the 1st episode "Sins of the Past." An alternate beginning.

Author's Notes: All POSITIVE comments are welcome. Negatives I will simply ignore. Send your thoughts to startrek@ellijay.com

I stopped Argo when I saw the tracks. Unmistakable. Wagon wheel trenches, men, and horses. Judging from the formation, it was my old friend Draco. "We could use a warm bed couldn't we, Girl?" Argo whinnied in agreement. I was once the commander of his forces. When I left with Burias, I left him in charge. These last few weeks have been hard on me since I left Hercules behind. I'm on the verge of giving up. This doing good life just isn't for me. Draco respects me, even cares for me to some degree. I'm sure I could easily return to my old post.

I caught up with them in the valley where they have made camp. All the tents were up, which meant they were staying for a long while. Draco most likely finished a raid somewhere. He always stopped to enjoy the fruits of his labor. The perimeter guards I passed nodded and waved, recognizing me. "Xena!" Draco motioned for a man to take my horse. I smiled and clasped forearms. "You've come back."

"For awhile......Nice job you've done with these men."

"Thanks to you." He watched me as I looked around, seeing the villagers and supplies. I turned to him for an explanation. "We just raided some backwater village...Pota..... Poteidaia." I blinked. It was not far from my own village. I used to travel there as a child. I always loved the demeanor of the people, cheerful. One small good childhood memory.

Just as I anticipated, he gave me my own tent with a nice warm bed. The cold, night air these last few nights has taken its toll on me. I needed exercise. My next order of business was to spare with the men. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Anyone who questioned my authority in this camp no longer does. As I walked through the stream, I spotted a few of the slave girls washing warriors' clothing. All four looked at me with curiosity. I am probably the first woman they have seen here in a position like mine, authority. Three immediately looked back down to their work, knowing they made a mistake. The fourth was staring at me. I could tell from the corner of my eye. I looked at her, deliberately putting on an angry expression to scare her. My eyes locked eyes with hers. My expression fell from my face. I didn't know whether to smile or cry. I didn't do either. I simply stared back as I still stood almost knee deep in the water. Her face was that of a child, but somehow that of a woman also. She couldn't be more than eighteen years. Her eyes were a beautiful green. "Xena." Draco called, breaking the spell. The girl returned to her washing. Draco walked through the water to my location. "You like her?" he asked gesturing to her. I found myself nodding. "Then take her, my friend. She's a gift." He sighed heavily. "She isn't much of a slave anyway. She daydreams all day. My men are sick of beating her to get her to work, but.....she's pretty to look at. At least there's one use for her huh?" he laughed, slapping my shoulder. "You.....go with Xena." She nodded. Her eyes now held fear. It was Draco, not me that she was afraid of. I didn't want to see that look in her eyes caused from me. Then I realized, I don't want to revert to my old ways. I promised Hercules. Up until now, I haven't done anything to jeopardize that. The look of fear in her eyes is not something I wish to see again...from anyone.

Draco continued across the creek. The others returned to their washing as I continued to stare at this beautiful girl. She stood. She was small, but perfect. I smiled at her. It did nothing to ease the fear in her eyes. She was not afraid until she was told to go with me, which I could not blame her for. As I walked to the shore and past the girls, she fell in step behind me. She wasn't just scared, she was terrified. I walked to a secluded part of camp. I found a log and sat. I gestured for her to sit next to me. As she moved close to me and sat, I caught her scent in the air. It was a mixture of water and flowers. She wore a long peasant dress, one that I didn't particularly care for. It hid her from my view.

"What's your name?" She never raised her eyes from the hands in her lap.

"Gabrielle." That name sounded so sweet in my ears.

"That's a beautiful name. My name is Xena."

"I know."

"Oh...Draco said it." I smiled, feeling almost bashful. "I'm not going to hurt you." I said in my softest voice.

"You're not?" She looked up and met my eyes. I moved a little closer to her, placing a hand on her knee. To my surprise, she didn't move or shy away from it.

"Of course not. I would never hurt you. I just wanted to talk to you."

"You're a warlord.....like him." My stomach turned.

"Actually......not anymore."


"I've changed.....I..I don't hurt people anymore."

"Why are you here?"

"Good question." I stood, reaching my hand down to her. Gabrielle placed her hand in mine and stood. As we neared the tents, we both instinctively let go. She was unsure as to what would happen next, but I could tell in her expression that she trusted me to a certain degree.

We entered my tent. It was a command tent. More room than one person needed. I watched as she looked at my bed. Her body ached from being made to sleep on solid ground with nothing to keep herself warm. I noticed some of the other girls were sick. I made up my mind that Gabrielle would sleep in my tent tonight. After all, in Draco's eyes I own her. He would expect her to be with me during the night.

She turned to me. Her face held such tension and worry. I could see her back in that village helping her mother cook or doing chores around the farm. She didn't belong here, waiting on a warlord and his men hand and foot like a common maid. I reached for her, kissing her softly on the mouth. Her small arms came around me, holding me. "Been a long time since I held someone in my arms....this tenderly." I felt those hands go under my leathers. "Mmmm." She felt the unspoken connection immediately, just as I did. I was feeling emotions, I thought were long since dead, being reawakened. This girl was reawakening my heart, one that is slowly healing from the sickness of evil. I feel myself beginning to love again. I was sure this fragile girl has never been with a woman. She is far too young to know such things, but I cannot deny her what we both want.

With a mixture of love and raw passion, I began to unlace her dress. She did not stop me or shake in fear. Gabrielle watched my hands as I freed her breasts. I looked the erect nipples, begging to be touched by a warm tongue. I looked into her eyes. I saw the fear, not a fear of me now, but of the unknown. She continued to stroke my ass under my battle dress, causing breaks in my concentration. "I won't hurt you." I assured her.

"I know." The dress fell to the floor. I quickly stripped her of her undergarments. Her body was beautiful. Of all the people who have shared my bed, no one compares to this creature. I reached behind me, removing my leathers and stepping out of my breeches. I have never felt shame for my body. I stood proudly under her eyes. I watched as her eyes traveled from my breasts down to my center. My wetness was already visible and more came as her eyes rested on my swollen clit. "You are aroused.....right?" I wanted to chuckle at her innocence, but I just smiled. I looked at her. She is just as wet as I am. Pulling her to me, I picked her up and carried her the distance to my bed.

I gently laid her on the soft mattress. Her arms pulled me down on top of her. My hand ventured to her thigh, stroking her soft skin. Her muscles tremor as my hand brushed her flesh. I gently teased her with my fingers. I looked at her face. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip. Going back to the task at hand, I slid a finger into her depths. Immediately I felt it. I stopped. She is a virgin. I pondered suddenly why Draco had given me such an expensive 'gift'. She is a young, healthy woman who has never been touched by anyone. The price for Gabrielle would be very high. "What's wrong?"

"You've never been with anyone." I said quietly.

"No...I..I....never wanted to."

"I can't do this." I withdrew my probing fingers.

"I want to, Xena."

"No....I can't take your virginity. You should let your husband do that."

"I don't want a husband.....I want you."

"You do?"

"I...I love you, Xena."

"You don't know what love is, Little One." I said as I stroked her hair. She grabbed my hand and put it on her chest. At first, I thought she wanted me to touch her breast.

"Do you feel that?"

"Your heartbeat?" she nodded.

"What is it doing?" I pondered the question a moment until I was sure of my answer.

"Its beating fast."

"Its love, Xena. My heart feels like that every time you look at me. There's something about you, Xena. I should be afraid of you...but I'm not."

"Why aren't you?" I know I am intimidating. In fact, that's one of my best weapons. Sometimes its even more powerful than my chakrum.

"I don't know. You have a softness in your eyes that no other person here has."

"Only for you."

"Xena!" I heard from the outside of my tent.

"Yes?" I called back.

"Draco wants to see you at your convenience." I looked at Gabrielle.

"You stay here. Rest. I'll be back."

I returned to my tent just as the darkness engulfed the sky. "Gab..." I removed my sword, automatically seeing that Gabrielle wasn't in my bed. I walked back outside towards the small hay pile the slaves slept on at night. I found Gabrielle with the others, hugging herself as she shivered. "Girl." I said sternly. She looked up. Her eyes held an expressionless face. "Get up." I motioned. She stood slowly. Grabbing her by the arm, I dragged her back towards my tent. As soon as we were out of sight, I wrapped an arm around her. She was as cold as she looked. "Why didn't you stay in my tent?"

"I didn't feel it was my place." Stepping into the tent, I draped the nearest blanket over her shoulders. I pulled her towards the bed.

"Lie down." She did, watching me as I removed my clothing. Stripping down to nothing, I climbed into the soft bed. I looked over. Gabrielle was already asleep. I smiled, pulling her closer as I closed my eyes. I felt a feeling of internal warmth because I knew that gave her something she needed, a warm and safe place to sleep.

I was awakened by the men outside as they practiced their sword drills. As I opened my eyes, I saw her sleeping peacefully. I brushed her long, blond hair away from her neck. I kissed her softly on the neck and ran my tongue down the length of neck. She moaned softly, opening her eyes. I never raised my head from her neck as she turned over onto her back. Her arms came around me as my tongue moved to the cleavage that was accessible above her dress. I was surprised to find my hands shaking as I unlaced her dress, pulling it down the length of her body. I made eye contact as I crawled back up the length of her body. Her smile was as beautiful as her face. She watched me with controlled passion as my warm tongue touched her already erect nipple. One of her small hands caressed my bare breast and temporarily distracted me from my task. I moved to the unattended breast. "Xena." I heard the tiniest of whispers. It was wonderful to hear my name on her lips. "Please."

"Are you sure?"

"Please." she repeated. I teased her center. She was wet, very wet. Taking a deep breath, I gently penetrated her. Pulling back, I heard a groan from Gabrielle. I drove my fingers inward, penetrating her completely in one thrust. I closed my eyes at the pain filled noise that followed. I knew it would pass and it did as she began to grind her hips against my hand.

"Oh gods, Gabrielle. I love you." I said as I watched her as her orgasm ripped through her. I surprised myself at that statement, but I knew it was true.

Gabrielle was insatiable. It was mid-afternoon before we emerged from my tent. Immediately after leaving the privacy of my tent, I felt an uneasiness. Something was not right. We took on the roles of slave and mistress. I put on my warrior facade, pushing her in front of me, directing her in walking by pulling on her arm roughly. To the common eye, she was my property. The only thing taken in this instance was our hearts. Mentally, I was already making plans to leave Draco's camp and return to Amphipolis. I must set things right with Mother, no matter what it takes and I intend to take Gabrielle with me.

I was being watched, closely I might add, by Draco. He was eyeing me and my slave. The smile on his face led me to believe he liked what he saw. I didn't have to wait long before he approached me. He chose the moment Gabrielle left to wash clothes by the river. "Enjoying her, my friend?" Putting on a feral smile, I looked at him.


"Was she untouched?"

"Yes." I said softly.

"Ahhhhhhh." He smiled the typical male smile. "Something I need to ask you, Xena." I turned my attention to him. "How many bedwarmers do you tell that you love them?" I visibly stiffened. "Seems to me your acting a little lovey dovey."

"Draco I....."

"You know....I never believed you to be weak, Xena. Quite the opposite actually. Then, you do this......Fall for a little slave whore." My face turned to stone. "If she has that power over the mighty warrior princess, I want her back." He turns his back on me. Draco moved several paces away before I spoke.

"She's not your property, Draco." He stops and turns.

"Oh so she's yours?"

"No, she's not. She's not anyone's. These girls need to go home.....be with their families." I watched him as his expression changed and he began to laugh.

"Okay Xena. This joke has gone on far enough. Either join me in my next raid or leave."

"I am leaving."

"Fine. Get outta here." he gestured.

"I am, but I'm taking Gabrielle with me...and the rest of the slaves." I knew this would not set well. He did just what I expected him to do, he drew his sword.

The girls, including my love, heard the conversation and were coming to investigate. I saw the look in Gabrielle's eyes as I drew my sword. "Fine, Draco. I'll fight you if I have to." He laughed again.

"Face it, Xena. Your edge is gone. You can't even stomach the sight of my slaves. How can you fight me?" Arrogance was always his biggest weakness. He charged. I braced myself and dodged his first thrust. As the blows began, I saw Gabrielle move the girls away from the camp. They were able to slip right out unnoticed because the men ran towards the sounds of the fight. I was able to disarm and defeat him within a few minutes. He was quite a workout though. I looked over and saw that Gabrielle had returned and was holding Argo's reins. I smiled as I put my foot onto his chest. As he lay on his back, I talked to him.

"I'm not a warlord anymore, Draco. I won't allow you to plunder these villages anymore. You can't sell human beings." He groaned as I lifted my foot off of him. "My advice would be to take your men and get out of this valley."

I turned and walked to my Gabrielle. I walked her to the right side of Argo and helped her into the saddle, then mounted in front of her. Her small arms came around my waist. I kicked Argo into a full gallop and into the perimeter woods. The rest of the girls circled us. I heard the thank you's, but I don't really deserve them. Nothing can make up for my past. "Can you make it back to Poteidaia by yourselves?" The tallest of the bunch spoke.

"Of course. My father hunts these woods. I can get everyone back."

"Good." I turned as best I could in the saddle. "Go with them, Gabrielle. Your parents will be worried about....."

"NO!" she interrupted. "I'm staying with you, Xena....I love you."

"Okay." I say quietly. I really didn't want to fight over the matter. I did want her with me.

"Andrea, can you give my parents and sister a message for me?" Gabrielle asks.


"Tell them I'm fine and I'm going with Xena. I want to be a warrior.....like her. I'll be back to visit soon."

"Okay. I'll go to them as soon as I get back......Come on, Girls." Gabrielle and I stayed atop Argo in that one spot and watched the girls until they were out of sight.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." She tightened her grip on me. My loneliness is not going to be a factor anymore. Not only did I gain my first true friend, I gained a traveling companion. I believe this little blonde will grow on me.

If I had heard the talk that Draco had started the minute I was out of sight, I don't think I would have left him in such good health. "Forget Poteidaia......" He spat the pooled blood out of his mouth. "We're going to Amphipolis." he hissed.


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