The characters of Xena and Gabrielle and others belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance Pictures, and all the other powers that be Yadayadayada. No copyright infringement is intended. I wrote this story at the urging of my muse; it should never be used for profit.
LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This story involves both love and hot sex between two consenting adult women (It's a WARRIORJUDGE story What did you expect). If you don't know who ALEXIS MORRAL CARINGTON COLBY DEXTER was (in other words, if you're under 18) or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depiction of this nature disturb you, GO WATCH POWER RANGERS.
FOUL LANGUAGE I'm no Tarantino, but I have my moments...
To my BETA readers, mentors and guides: Sam Ruskin, (You're the greatest!!! Love ya!!!), LESIAF (the fastest Beta on the Xenaverse) and Stacia Seaman (the most thorough one)
Comments & Feedback: As it pleases you...You know where to find me.
Gabrielle O'Connor was very nervous before walking into the judge's courtroom. It wasn't the first time she had ever walked into a courtroom in her life, but she knew this particular judge's reputation all too well. Every attorney who'd had the dubious pleasure of having a trial in her courtroom nicked her "Judge Dread". She was known for the severe punishments she gave criminals who were convicted. She showed no mercy. She was also known to be a very strict, impatient, and hot-tempered judge. She didn't take the ceremonial protocol customary in a courtroom lightly, either.
"How's her mood?" Gabrielle asked a colleague she met just at the courtroom threshold.
"She's already held two attorneys in contempt, and it's only 1:00 p.m."
"That bad, huh?" The young blonde attorney breathed heavily and tightened her grip on her briefcase. She was representing a young woman who'd been indicted with two murder charges--a double homicide, no less. It was Gabrielle's first murder case, and that alone made her heart pound wildly in her chest.
"Worse...Something has gotten into her today, can you believe it? Judge Dread is having a bad day?" the man in front her jested, and went on about his business.
"Maybe she got PMS...This is not good..." Gabrielle mattered to herself aloud. She took a big breath. She needed a moment to organize her thoughts before entering the courtroom. Relax, Gabrielle, You can do it. Don't let her intimidate you like she used to when she was your professor in law school. Christ, I hate this so much. I finished second in my class, I got job offers from the top San Francisco law firms, and still the honorable Judge Xena Lawless is causing me to shake in my boots. And what kind of a name is Lawless for a judge, anyway? OK, enough with this nonsense--behave like a grown-up. She's merely a woman who wears a robe, that is all. Gabrielle tried to steady her ragged breathing, but failed miserably. Here goes nothing. With shaky hands she opened the courtroom wooden door, and with even shakier legs she strode inside.
"You're the public defender, I presume?" The blonde attorney heard a low alto voice calling to her. She tilted up her head and glanced at the judge's bench.
"Y..Yes...Your honor." She didn't dare look the judge in the eye.
"Replace your roster!"
"Excuse me?" Gabrielle couldn't help herself and looked into the judge's cold blue eyes that distanced themselves behind a pair of small reading glasses.
The judge looked up from her papers. She gripped her glasses with her thumb and index finger and eased them off her nose. "You're late, Counselor...?"
"Gabrielle..." The judge didn't let the young attorney finish.
"O'Connor." The judge completed the name. "Yeah...I remember you...the class of 97. I didn't realize they were recruiting young attorneys, barely out of law school, to the public defender's office."
Gabrielle felt her heart fall into her pants. "Only the ones who finished second in their class, Your Honor." Great tactic, Gab, aggravate Judge Dread. It'll do you a world of good.
"I was hoping you'd say so, Counselor. I will derive great pleasure from watching you putting your money where your mouth is," the blue-eyed judge replied. "A word of advice, Counselor, don't be late for court when I'm presiding. Surely my reputation has reached your ears by now. I'll let you off the hook with a mere warning. However, next time I won't be so generous, and I'll fine you for contempt."
"Yes, Your Honor." The young vibrant lawyer bowed her head before the judge. Shit...I can't believe she remembers me from law school. I never actively participated in her class; I just sat there with my mouth shut. Gabrielle clearly remembered how Judge Lawless made her students feel like idiots during her classes in criminal law. The judge was a brilliant woman. She had been a very successful lawyer, and closing down her practice made a lot of eyebrows raise. Nobody knew why would such a big-shot lawyer, who made more money than God, would leave her gold-mine practice for the robe. In any case, at 32, she was the youngest judge ever to be nominated.
"Let's get this show on the road, now. What have we got here? 'The commonwealth versus Laura Adams'," the judge announced as the blonde lawyer's client, a nineteen- year-old woman, was brought into the courtroom chained in handcuffs. Gabrielle stood next to her.
"How does your client plea, Counselor?"
"Not guilty, Your Honor."
"Surprise, Surprise...What else is new? What about bail, Mr. Kale?" The judge turned to look at the lawyer from the district attorney's office. He was a good-looking young man with fair brown hair and a pair of warm gray eyes. He had a gentle features, feminine almost. From the way his suit draped on him, it was clear that he had quite a muscular body.
"The People request that the defendant would remain in custody, Your Honor. She is accused of brutally murdering two men. She is dangerous and there is a good chance she won't show up for her trial," he said.
"Your Honor, the evidence on which Judge Summers issued the arrest warrant was forged," Gabrielle replied..
"Come again, Counselor? I didn't hear you right. For a second there I thought you said that somebody forged an evidence in order to get a judge to issue an arrest warrant." The judge took off her glasses and glared at the young blonde lawyer before her.
"That is exactly what I said, Your Honor," Gabrielle firmly replied, hoping no one would notice the tremor in her voice.
"Mr. Kale?" The judge looked at him.
"I don't have a clue as to what she's insinuating, Your Honor."
"Is this your idea of a joke, Counselor? I was in a good mood until about a minute ago. Don't tempt me to hold you in contempt for wasting my time," the judge nearly roared.
"I can prove it. Dr. Bennet says that the lab reports stating that the accused's blood was found at both of the crime scenes weren't written by him, as the prosecution claims. I took the reports to a graphologist and he concurred. Someone other than Dr. Bennet wrote those reports and signed Dr. Bennet's name at the bottom of them," Gabrielle said triumphantly, then she took a document from her briefcase and waved it in the air cheerfully.
"May I remind you, Counselor, that this is a courtroom, not a circus," the judge reprimanded her. "Approach the bench."
Miss O'Connor and Mr. Kale both walked to the front of the courtroom. Gabrielle handed one copy of the graphologist's report to the prosecutor and the other copy to the judge. She'd never stood so close to the impressive woman known as Judge Dreadm and couldn't help but notice that the judge was breathtakingly beautiful. She had well-tanned, bronze skin, high cheekbones and full red lips. Even though she didn't allow her wild black mane to cascade down her strong shoulders, it was obviously long, thick and smooth. She was magnificent, the most gorgeous woman Gabrielle had ever seen. Her eyes were as blue as the sky and as deep as the ocean. Gabrielle didn't even notice how she slipped from the real world and was mesmerized by those eyes.
"What's your explanation for this, Mr. Kale?" The judge queried, a little bewildered.
"I don't know what to say." The prosecutor's blood left his face, and he as was pale as if he had seen a ghost.
"I suggest that Dr. Bennet appear before this court tomorrow so that I can get to the bottom of this," Judge Lawless ordered.
"That would be impossible, Your Honor, Dr. Bennet was killed in a car accident two days ago."
"Of course...Perfect timing..." the judge murmured. "Why would someone in the district attorney's office tamper with evidence?" the judge asked more to herself than to the lawyers in front of her.
"Go back to your places," she ordered after a moment. The lawyers obeyed.
"Have another doctor analyze the blood from the crime scenes," the judge ordered the handsome prosecutor.
"W..We..Well, Your Honor, I'm afraid that's not possible either."
"Why is that?" The judge was quickly losing her patience.
"It seems that Dr. Bennet had the blood samples with him when his car crashed and blew up. The samples were apparently destroyed in the fire."
"Unbelievable. If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was in an X-Files episode." The judge rubbed her forehead
"Your Honor, since this is the only evidence that connects my client to these murders I ask that my client would be released at once," Gabrielle said.
"I object, Your Honor. She knew both of the victims and she didn't have an alibi for the time the killings took place. " The prosecutor jumped from his chair.
"That's not enough to hold my client, Your Honor," Gabrielle insisted.
The judge, who was leaning back against her leather chair, took off her glasses and leaned forward against the desk. "Very well, Counselor. I'm letting her go." She pierced the young lawyer's green eyes with her gaze. "Even though your client was seen with both of the victims, while working as a streetwalker, that's hardly enough to keep her in custody. Something stinks to the roof in this case, and since I don't like the stench in my courtroom, I'm appointing myself as an investigating judge. I'll find the rotten apple in the district attorney's office...I'm going to get to the bottom of it." She looked at the blonde, short lawyer and went on. "Would you like to assist me, Counselor?"
Oh great, now what do I do...on the one hand, this is a great opportunity for me, I can learn a lot from her, and it'll look great on my resume. On the other hand, me? Working with the "Judge of Doom"? No way, no how...it's like selling your soul to the devil...and with all the rumors about her...oh no...I'm not working with her...I'd sooner die...
"I'll be honored, Your Honor." The young attorney smiled.
"Very well. We'll discuss it over lunch. Come to my chambers at 3:00 p.m. Don't be late.
NEXT!" She slammed her hammer on her desk, moving on to the next case.
So as not to piss off the judge, Gabrielle reported to her chambers at 3:00 sharp. The judge's secretary showed her in.
"You see? You can be on time when you put your mind to it, Counselor," the brunette teased Gabrielle, her gaze lingering on the documents she held before her.
Gabrielle bit down on her tongue to keep from talking back to the imposing woman. Instead, she kept quiet and waited until the judge finished her reading.
"Are you hungry, Counselor?" She asked, still not giving Gabrielle the benefit of her gaze.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Splendid. We can discuss the business at hand over lunch. What do you feel like, Italian? Japanese?"
"Italian sounds great, Your Honor. I like my food dead and cooked. Once I had Japanese food and all day I felt the raw fish I had trying to swim upstream." The blonde lawyer chuckled, attempting to break the ice a little bit.
"Italian it is." The judge concluded. She placed the documents on her large oak desk, took off her reading glasses, and stood up.
The young lawyer was astonished when she saw how tall the judge really was. Back when she was in law school, she used to sit at the back, not getting a clear view of her professors, and when she was standing before her during trial, well...it wasn't easy to guess the height of a judge sitting on the bench.
Gabrielle watched as the judge removed her robe. I always wonder what judges are wearing under their robes. She was surprised to see a plain blue T-shirt and jeans. The somewhat tight clothes outlined the judge's athletic, feminine, and beautiful body. Gabrielle's jaw dropped when the judge pulled out the thin black ribbon and left her beautiful raven hair to cascade down her shoulders, stroking her long fingers through her tresses.
Close your mouth, Gab, Close your mouth, Gab; Close your mouth, Gab, Gabrielle's brain repeated She is the last person you need to give you all sorts of ideas.
"What? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?" The judge's voiced pulled her from her thoughts.
"N...No, not at all," Gabrielle stammered a bit and mentally kicked herself for it.
"So, I guess it's the first time you've ever seen a judge taking off her robe." The judge smirked.
"It's that obvious, huh?"
"I don't know why you make such a big deal out of it, Counselor, unless you expected something kinky. Is that it?" The judge's blue eyes narrowed as examined the blonde's reaction.
"Absolutely not, Your Honor." Gabrielle denied it vigorously.
The judge simply smiled and grabbed her briefcase. "Let's go."
"Let's take my car. It makes more sense than driving both our cars. I'll bring you back once we're done." The judge seemed as if she didn't expect any argument.
The young attorney followed the judge to her van.
"I'm taking us to Lorenzo's," the judge announced once they both settled inside the van. Again, it was clear that she was making a statement and wasn't expecting defiance.
"So what kind of car do you drive?" The judge asked, fastening her seat belt.
"A BMW," Gabrielle answered, and felt a tad of shame without quite knowing why.
"Oooo, a Beamer no less...That's some set of wheels. I didn't realize they pay so well in the public defender's office."
"They pay lousy, actually. The car is a gift from my parents." Gabrielle hated herself for allowing the judge to tease and patronize her. "Why do you ask? Am I under suspicion or something?" Gabrielle asked the last question before stopping to think about it.
"Wow, the little kitten can scratch."
Gabrielle was less than appreciative of that remark. She didn't like the judge's condescending attitude. True, she had a lot of respect for her. She was a brilliant woman, one of the most highly regarded judges, but that was hardly an excuse for her patronizing manner. Gabrielle began to have second thoughts about working with the judge on the case. Something deep inside her wanted the approval of the judge. More than approval, she wanted the judge to recognize her talents and skills as a criminal defense attorney. She wanted the judge to think she was brilliant.
Gabrielle's recollection of the judge from the days when she was a student weren't encouraging, to say the least. The judge never gave any student of hers a compliment. If she thinks so little of me then why did she pick me, of all people, to help her with the investigation? It's probably because I'm already familiar with the details. What in God's name was I thinking?
After a couple of silent moments the judge turned to look at the young blonde attorney.
"So...criminal law, huh? To tell you the truth, back when I was teaching you in law school, I didn't think you had it in you. I thought you would choose a different area of specialties, like taxation, torts and such..."
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gabrielle thought to herself.
"Well, if you don't think I'm qualified and consider my credentials less than satisfying, then why...?" Gabrielle didn't get a chance to say all that was on her mind before the judge's voice cut through her speech.
"Hold your horses, Counselor. I think you're just the person for this job."
Gabrielle couldn't contain the astonishment that plastered on her face, "How so? Because I'm familiar with the case?"
"That's part of it, but that's not the main reason. You impressed me." It seemed the judge struggled a bit with the words.
"I did?" Gabrielle sounded so surprised that it seemed as if she didn't really deserve the compliment.
"As a matter of fact, you have. Tell me, what made you send Dr. Bennet's reports for examination, in the first place? What aroused your suspicion?"
"The Doc's accident," Gabrielle replied simply.
"That's it?" The judge turned to look at the woman sitting next to her.
"I'm not a big believer in accidents. I sound a little paranoid, don't I?" Gabrielle chuckled in embarrassment and cast her eyes downward.
"You know what they say--just because you're paranoid doesn't mean you're not being chased."
Gabrielle relaxed into the leather seat of the car. So...I managed to impress Psycho Judge there...way to go, Gabs... She mentally patted herself on the shoulder.
"So, do you think we've got a serial killer on our hands, Your Honor?" Gabrielle looked at the judge, a tad of fear evident in her voice. She tried to conceal it, since she didn't want to let the cocky judge realize she'd been right about her not having 'It' in her--defending criminals, that is.
"From the way the bodies of the victims were displayed, naked, stabbed in the heart, and genitals cut and shoved down their throats, I'd say so. Although another body would make it official," the judge explained.
Gabrielle was thankful she hadn't anything yet, knowing she wouldn't be able to keep her food down. She gave the judge a questioning look.
The tall woman explained, "I have a degree in Criminology. Serial killers have always been my favorite subjects."
There's a shocker, Gabrielle thought.
Gabrielle and the judge finally arrived at Lorenzo's. They sat opposite each other and ordered pasta.
"So, do you think that the killer is someone from the district attorney's office?" Gabrielle unfolded her napkin.
"Someone from the district attorney's office is the killer or else they're covering for the real killer for some reason," the judge replied, searching for the waitress.
"You say 'person' as if a woman is an option, as if women are actually capable of murdering in such a horrifying manner."
At that point their waitress arrived and placed their plates on the table in front of them. Gabrielle watched the judge's beautiful face through the steam that rose from the aromatic pasta.
"Women serial killers are rare, and for a woman to be a serial killer is improbable, but not totally impossible. Throughout history, several women serial killers were actually apprehended." The judge grabbed her knife and fork and dug into her meal. She placed the loaded fork into her mouth. "Your do realize that there is no polite way to eat pasta, don't you?" She smirked.
"You can feel free, I'm quite a messy eater myself, your honor," replied Gabrielle with a smile, beginning to feel more at ease around the judge.
"We'll have to work at two different levels. We'll have to find out who tampered with the evidence in the district attorney's office, or else we'll have to find out who's the killer." Gabrielle placed the pasta in her hungry mouth, chewed and swallowed, then added,. "But we don't have much to go on as far as finding the killer. The blood samples were the one substantial piece of evidence the police recovered from the crime scenes."
"You're right, Counselor, and as much as I hate to admit it, we'll be needing another murder for that."
"What a horrible thing to say," Gabrielle whispered.
"Yes it is, Counselor. If you're not up for the challenge, then I suggest you bow out now and save my time."
"I'm up to it," Gabrielle immediately responded with a firm voice.
"I guess we will have to wait and see now, won't we."
I'm going to pay dearly for working with her...years of psychotherapy in order to restore my shattered, literally nonexistant self-esteem after working with her...I wonder whether the shrink's bills are deductible?
"Enough with the murder case for one day, Counselor. I don't want you to have nightmares."
What a cocky bitch.
"I don't have a problem with talking about the case. Really, don't stop on my account, Your Honor. Unless you have a problem with talking about murder over lunch." Gabrielle knew that if she wasn't more assertive, the judge would walk all over her. It was time to show her that she had a mind of her own and that she wasn't intimidated so easily.
The judge didn't reply, but merely looked at Gabrielle as if examining her.
Maybe I'm not what you've bargained for, Your Honor.
After a few silent moments the judge picked up her glass and said, "I have a feeling it'll be interesting working with you, Counselor."
Gabrielle was surprised, and as such she couldn't think of a good response.
"I need to get back to court, Counselor. My secretary will set up a meeting with us and the court's psychiatrist. I want her to give us a psychological profile on our killer. Unless there's another murder, that is the best chance we have." The judge stood up, leaving some money on the table. "Go to the police station and check out the records of who entered the evidence room from the time of the second murder until today," she instructed with an authoritative voice.
Sir, yes, Sir! Gabrielle exclaimed in her mind like an obedient solider. "I'm on it," came her response.
"See you tomorrow, Counselor," the judge muttered and left.
The blonde lawyer went to the police station as order her and checked the visitors logs for the evidence room. It turned out that the page with the list of people accessing evidence on the two murder cases was mysteriously missing. No surprises here. I didn't think some higher power would cut me some slack and make this a little easier on me.
After her visit to the police station, Gabrielle returned home. Her roommate, a pal from law school, welcomed her.
"Hi, Gabrielle," the brown-haired woman said.
"How was your day?"
"Just fine. I got a new case today, yet another exciting road accident case...I'm so thrilled." Tori chuckled bitterly.
"I wish I was smart enough to peruse torts as a specialty. You know that my clientele aren't exactly nice people, Tori." Gabrielle placed her suitcase on the floor.
"But at least you get to have interesting cases," Tori replied.
"Remember what they taught us, first day in law school?" Gabrielle sat on the sofa opposite Tori.
"Possession is nine-tenths of the law?" Mused Tori.
"No, Tori. They told us law wasn't as exciting as it appeared to be on TV."
"Yeah, I guess you right. Besides, the money is good, so I won't complain again."
Her anthem is Madonna's 'Material Girl,' thought Gabrielle .
"Say, there was a rumor in the court's cafeteria that Judge Dread appointed herself investigating judge on that murder case where you represented that hooker, and picked you up to be her assistant."
"Why, O'Connor, I didn't think you were a masochist. Here I thought you were a goody-two-shoes, and now you reveal this kinky, dark side of yours...You do realize she's a dyke, don't you?"
"Geesh, Tori. She's not that bad. It'll be a great opportunity for me. Besides, not all women who wear comfortable shoes and no make-up are dykes. And another thing, Tori, it's not polite to say 'dykes'. I think they prefer to be called 'lesbians' or 'gays'."
"God, O'Connor, don't get all PC on me," Tori threw her hands in the air.
"Who told you she was gay, anyway?"
"I don't remember. It's public knowledge," Tori replied and brushed her brown hair backwards.
"Public knowledge? Give me a break, Tori, was it in the papers? Did they say so on TV?" Gabrielle asked sarcastically.
"Of course not! But think about it, can you imagine her being fucked by a man?" Tori challenged Gabrielle with her usual elegant turn of phrase.
"Sheeesh, Tori, You can be so vulgar sometimes."
"And your answer is?" Tori didn't intend to lose the battle.
"Well, I have to admit that I can't see her having sex with another human being, regardless of gender. She's so cold."
"You got a point there," murmured Tori and it seemed she sank into deep thoughts about Judge Dread's sex life.
She's got one track mind...
"Speaking of which, the handsome Mr. Kale called you. He asked me to persuade you to go out with him tonight."
"And you thought that since you're such a good friend to both him and me, why not play matchmaker." Gabrielle entwined her arms on her chest.
"Relax, hon. Besides, Gabrielle, it's been six months since you broke up with Jack. It's high time you rejoined the human race, and start mating again."
"What? What did I say? I haven't heard you in the throes of passion in ages. Have sex, dearie, it'll do you a world of good. You won't be so uptight all the time."
"Sex is your answer for everything, Tori. I don't need your advice on my love life."
"Who said anything about love? I was talking about sex."
"You're impossible... And what do you mean, 'heard me in the throes of passion'?"
"Only that you can be a little loud at times and the walls in this house are thin."
"So you stayed up and listened to me?" Gabrielle's face became red with embarrassment.
"I didn't 'stay up' to listen to you..."
"How many times did it happen?"
"Why, O'Connor, I think you should know how many times you had sex," Tori retorted.
"Hilarious, Tori...Now answer my question!"
"Will you stop with the third degree already? I don't remember."
Gabrielle exhaled and calmed herself down. She looked at the smug Tori.
"I'm going to take a shower."
"If Mr. Kale calls again?" Asked Tori.
"Tell him I'll go out with him tomorrow. I'm too tired today," Gabrielle said, then turned and entered the bathroom.
Judge Lawless checked her reflection in the mirror. Yup...Looking good, she thought to herself. Chicks like leather. The judge wore leather pants and a matching black leather jacket. Underneath the jacket she wore a tight white T-shirt that complimented her breasts. That's just right...not too butch, but still leaves no room for speculation...
After giving herself an approving glance, Judge Lawless took her keys, grabbed her bag and left her huge house to meet her friends at a new gay bar that had opened up in her neighborhood. Sharon, an accountant, and Tammy, a dentist, had been a couple for almost 8 years.
When she arrived at the bar she found the two women already sitting at a table.
"Oooo, Xena, you're on the prowl tonight...you look hot." Sharon elbowed the judge's ribs after Xena joined their table. Nice soft jazz music was swimming in the air, along with chattering feminine voices and cigarette smoke.
"It's been a whole week since I last brought a woman home with me," Xena complained.
"Have you considered finding one woman who will love you and make you happy, instead of all those one-night stands you keep picking up at bars?" Tammy sounded as if she was preaching.
"What's the matter? Is there a law against one-night stands?"
"No," Sharon answered.
"So what is it? Is picking up women in a bar unbecoming a judge?" She regretted saying this after the words were already out there, providing her friends with ammo. And you were such a hot-shot lawyer...
"If I were a man we wouldn't be having this conversation, now, would we?" She snorted and looked for the waitress.
"That's not the point," Sharon said.
"So what is the point?"
"It's been four years since you've last had a partner."
"Well aren't you fed up with screwing women you don't know or care about?"
"Have you heard me complaining?" Xena asked in a low tone, quirking an eyebrow.
"Well, yeah," Tammy finally replied.
"When?" Xena pierced her with her blue eyes.
"Come on, Xena, just a minute ago you said you haven't bedded a woman in a week. If you had a partner you could be having sex anytime you want," Sharon argued.
"Yeah, right...Like you two are having sex whenever you want. When was the last time you enjoyed a roll in the hay?"
"About a week and a half ago," came Sharon's muffled reply.
"The defense rests." The judge said triumphantly, failing to erase the smug look off her face.
At that point their waitress approached the table. The judge ordered a beer and another round for Sharon and Tammy. Then she leaned back into her chair and allowed her gaze to roam the bar and examine the candidates for a night of passion. She unconsciously licked her lips, undressing women with her piercing blues.
"Have you found someone you like?" Sharon leaned and whispered in the judge's ear.
"Not yet, but the night is young."
After a few more minutes of silence, Sharon said, "Really, Xena, you need someone who would make you happy."
"I am happy."
"No you're not," Sharon said.
The judge knew that Sharon and Tammy weren't just nagging her. She knew they meant well and that they really cared for her. They simply didn't like seeing her alone. What they didn't understand was that she preferred it this way. She'd decided long ago to keep her heart to herself.
"Look, Sharon, I've been a lesbian for a long time now. During this time of dating women and mingling with other lesbians I've learned a few things--"
"Oh no...Not the Ten Commandments again..." Sharon placed her palm over her eyes and blew out a long breath of air.
"What Ten Commandments, Sharon?" Her partner inquired.
"Here we go," Sharon muttered. She knew the judge well enough to know what was coming.
"One: Thou shall not fall in love with a straight woman.
Two: Every dyke has a mythological ex in her past.
Three: Most dykes are serial monogamists.
Four: Dykes fancy women that treat them like shit.
Five: After two years together you can kiss sex good-bye.
Six: Dykes bring their plants on the second date.
The judge didn't get a chance to finish before Tammy cut through her speech. "Christ, Xena, you're such a homophobe!"
"No I'm not, Tammy. It's all true." The judge straightened up in her chair and tried to make them see her point of view.
"Don't argue with her, sweetheart, she's a petty, petty, petty little person," Sharon teased the judge and began laughing.
"Hey, watch your language, or I'll hold you in contempt."
"No seriously, Xena. Just because things didn't work out with Beli--" Sharon started but was silenced by Xena, who placed her palm on Sharon's mouth.
"Ah , ah, ah...nobody says the B word." Xena raised her index finger and swayed it from side to side.
"It's been over four years now, Xena. It's high time you dealt with this," Tammy took another sip of her beer.
"There is nothing to deal with...I fell in love with the bitch, and the bitch thought nothing of it. We lived together for two years, during which she emotionally abused me."
"Just because it didn't work out with Beli--" Sharon began.
"Ah, ah, ah," Xena reminded her and waved her index finger again.
"Sorry - the Bitch, it doesn't mean it won't work with others."
"You're forgetting Nell. The witch cheated on me, for crying out loud. Look, I tend not to make the same mistake twice. I don't believe in love anymore. I'm keeping my heart for myself, and as for my other graces, well..." The judge smirked and wore a lascivious expression on her face.
"Yeah, we know..." Sharon said in a hurry, for fear Xena would start telling them in great details about her sexual conquests.
"Women." The judge concluded and muttered a sigh "You can't live with them..." She paused, but it was obvious she wasn't about to continue the sentence. "Pass the beer nuts."
"You're awful! I thought you were going to say '...and you can't live without them...'" Tammy burst into laughter.
The judge laughed as well and drank her beer.
Around 1:00 a.m. Gabrielle woke up with a start to hear that her telephone was ringing. She sent her hand toward the general location of her dresser and, while trying to find the light switch, her hand stumbled upon a glass of water, and the glass fell to the floor and shattered into a million little pieces.
"Shit!" She hissed between clenched teeth.
Finally finding the light switch, she turned it on, picked up the phone, and with a voice husky from sleep she answered: "Yes?"
"Gabby? Is that you?"
"Yeah, who is it?" She was still a little stupid from slumber.
"Your brother-in-law." The voice on the line answered.
"Jerry! Hi! how are you?" She mumbled. This better be worth waking me up at 1:00 a.m. on a weekday.
"Why are you calling me at 1:00 a.m.?" Fear crept into her heart that perhaps something had happened to Linda, her sister.
"Everything is all right. It's just that I heard on the police communication net that they found another body, with the same M.O. of the last two victims. He was found with his dick in his mouth." Jerry sounded disgusted.
"Where?" Gabrielle asked. At that point she was wide awake.
Because she didn't want anyone tampering with the crime scene, she realized it was important to inform Judge Lawless and get to the crime scene ASAP, so right after she hung up the phone, she jumped out of bed and ran to the bathtub. She splashed cool water on her face, put on a clean suit, grabbed her suitcase, and went to Judge Lawless's house, thanking god Jerry had managed to find the address. Having a journalist for a brother-in-law sure paid off.
Once she got to the judge's huge house, she stepped out of her BMW and rang the doorbell. A young man opened the door.
"Hi, is this Judge Lawless's home?" The young blonde attorney asked.
"Yes it is. Do you realize what time it is?" The young man said harshly.
"I'm sorry to bother her so late, it's just that this is an emergency!" The lawyer said with an apologetic tone of voice.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Gabrielle O'Connor. I'm an attorney. I work with Judge Lawless on this case and there's been an important development and I've got to talk to her." Her patience was running out.
"Well I'm sorry to tell you this, but the judge isn't at home." He sounded almost happy.
"Where is she?"
Well, duh! If she's not at home then she's obviously out, genius.
"Out where?" inquired Gabrielle.
"I can't tell you that Miss O'Connor."
"Look, it's highly important that I speak to her right now...The police found another body."
"I see...well, in that case, she's in the Pussy." He answered with a somewhat relaxed expression on his face.
"I beg your pardon?" She's in a pussy? Is that what he said, a pussy? I obviously didn't hear him correctly, for a minute there I thought he said the judge was in a pussy...
"The Pussy is a gay bar for women," he added.
"I see." I read about that particular bar in the newspaper. I know how to get there. Talk about awkwardness...well, Gabs...wait till you get there...What will you say to her? 'Oh, hello Judge Lawless, do you enjoy the pussy?'
Gabrielle got to the Pussy at around 1:30 a.m. Once she parked her car--as far away as possible--she opened the car door and began walking towards the bar. Before she entered, she looked sideways in order to make sure nobody was watching her go into the bar.
It's not that I'm homophobic or something...it's just that I don't want rumors to start. Once they're out there I won't be able to control it. I like men...that's right...men...So why let people dwell in the misconception that I like women? Sure, I like having women as friends, but sleeping with them? Hell no! You're babbling...shut up!
With a heavy foot, Gabrielle entered the Pussy. She was too frightened to go deeper inside so she merely stood at the threshold, stretching her neck and searching for the blue-eyed judge inside.
"Oooo...check out the blonde," Sharon murmured into her partner's ear.
"Oh yes...I think we have a winner," Tammy chuckled.
"She looks good," Sharon agreed.
"Nope, she's down right sexy..." Tammy corrected her.
"You have soft spot for blondes, don't you, Your Honor?" Teased Sharon.
"As a matter of fact I do...who are you looking at?"
"Over there by the entrance door. Now that's the kind of woman you take to your bed," Sharon remarked.
"Honey, that's the kind of woman you take to meet your mom." They both laughed.
"Holy shit!" Xena felt the blood leaving her face.
"What's the matter?" Sharon jumped.
"I'm working with her...She's the attorney I was telling you about!" The judge's heart was racing.
"Christ...If she sees me here, I'm toast...I'll never hear the end of it."
"Relax, Xena. If she's here that means she's a sister...one of us...a lesbo..." Tammy began ranting. It was mostly the beer, at that point, that did the talking.
"She's no dyke, fellow sisters. She's as straight as a road crossing line." The judge writhed uncomfortably in her chair. Don't see me... Don't see me...Don't see me...Don't see me.
"How do you know?" Asked Sharon.
"When she was in law school, I saw her smooching a guy in the faculty cafeteria. She was literally sucking his face. I felt embarrassed for her..." Xena felt she was choking up.
"Perhaps someone has shown her the light and she's been driving the opposite direction ever since...I mean look at her. What more do you need? A neon sign saying she's gay?" Tammy shared her intoxicated thoughts with the rest of the gang.
"Jesus, Tammy...In your eyes all women are lesbians until proven otherwise." The judge chuckled.
"Well, I'm just being optimistic. So shoot me," Tammy retorted.
At that point the counselor locked eyes with the judge.
"Oh...fuck!" Muttered the judge "What is she doing here?"
"YOUR HONOR! YOUR HONOR!" Gabrielle yelled towards the blushing judge, and waved to her with both hands.
Ho brother...The judge slammed her forehead with her palm, wishing she could disappear. Everyone in the bar looked at her, wanting to see the judge hanging in the Pussy.
Once Gabrielle made it to their table, the judge grabbed her by her arm and forced her to bend over and face her.
"What in god's name are you doing here?"
"There's been another one."
TO BE CONTINUED
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