by R.E. Rowley

DISCLAIMER: This is my first Uber Xena story. Like all such stories, it has linkage to XWP. This all was made possible by the XWP episode "The Xena Scrolls." For example, my characters, She Woman and Girl, are analagous to Xena and Gabrielle. As you no doubt know, Xena and Gabrielle are characters of MCA/UNIVERSAL/RENAISSANCE. The story is mine and the ueber characters are mine.

WARNING: Two women kiss each other four times in an office. If this doesn't float your boat, if you're a real macho dude or dudette, don't read it.

PLOT? This is a very short story. One woman wants another woman. She employs a very unique but effective method to get her kisses. If you want to know more about why I wrote this story, read my postscript.

The following short story is part of the works of R.E. ROWLEY and is under (c) copyright 1998. Any use or dissemination of this story, for any commercial purpose, in part or in whole, without the express consent of the author is prohibited. If desired, this story may be printed for the private personal use of any reader, provided my copyright as author always appears on it.

"No! Oh no! Not again!" Girl awoke with a start her stomach churning.

"No! Not HIM!"

Beating her pillows, she screamed. "I can't do it! Not with HIM!"

Exhausted, she closed her eyes and dreamt of She Woman.

Later... She Woman stared gloomily at the big paper mess on the fancy desk she was sitting at. It was one of those rare days when she didn't have to stand before the cameras acting. Mentor had left to meet with the top brass at the studio's major distribution company. Mentor wanted She Woman to get a taste of what it was like to be a producer. With a deep sigh, she started to study the production scheduler. There was a light knock at the door. With genuine relief, She Woman looked up.

"Come In." She smiled as she saw Girl; a very cute blond actress, who was her co-star, entering the office.

"I was told that I could find you here. Wow! I really like your power suit! Sharp! Well, I suppose with you, it's today the studio, tomorrow the world."

She Woman grimaced. "Not exactly...learning all this." She gestured at the desktop. "Can be a wee bit daunting. Now how can I help you?"

"Yes I do need your help! Guess what? There's this love scene I have to do this afternoon. I have to kiss a man... and his name is..."

"Don't tell me! Don't tell me! Let me look it up in the scheduler. I might as well learn how to use this thing!'ve got to kiss...oh...that man."

Yes THAT man! Old Nicotine Breath himself! She Woman you've just got to help me!"

"What can I do?"

"Well I need some positive enforcement to get me through my ordeal. I want to direct you in the love scene. You play the man and I'll play me."

She Woman stared in amazed amusement at the precocious green-eyed blond. "You want to direct me? Hmmmmm." She stared down at the boring paperwork, remembered how she felt when she herself kissed "that man," knew that she liked Girl and... made a decision.

"All right. Then we better secure the room, don't you think? You lock the door and I'll take care of the blinds. We don't want to cause car accidents or other such things do we?"

"Discretion is good." Girl agreed with complete aplomb.

After adjusting the blinds, She Woman turned to face a very close and excited Girl. "Now this kiss..."

"Kisses actually."


"What I had in mine were at least three kisses. First a virgin's kiss-you know slightly quivering lips. Second kiss should be like hey, not bad! I think I'll try this again! Third kiss should be oh baby! I think I'm going to go for it all on this one! Got it?"

"All Right. Now how will we kiss standing sitting or what?"

"Standing is fine."

The two women embraced each other. Both completely caught up in the moment. Slowly, with infinite care, the taller dark-haired blue-eyed woman lowered her head and found Girl's lips. When they parted, Girl was smiling in amusement.


"Oh it was very nice alright but you really didn't follow my instruction. It was supposed to be a virgin's kiss remember? Your lips didn't quiver; not even once. As the director, I want a re-take."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Well if you're not a professional actress...if you don't take pride in your work...well then I suppose..."

"Oh come here you!" The women kiss again and...

"Did I do it right this time director?"

"It was...good. Okay now the second kiss."

"Second kiss? We jus..."

"No no no noooo! That was a re-take remember? You blew it the first time."

"O.K. okaaaay! So we're on our second kiss. Now how am I supposed to feel about this one again?"

"All right. You don't have to lip quiver this time. This is a more serious kiss. You liked the first one. You're going to take longer and do a little exploring this time? Understand?"


Again the two women kissed. Time stands still. When they're finished, both women have flushed faces. She Woman gently brushed a golden bang back that had fallen over Girl's forehead.

"One more kiss?"

"One more! Remember, this is the third kiss. As director, I want to FEEL this one!"


"I want to tingle where I tango!"

"The mother of all kisses?"

"Make me BELIEVE!"

The women passionately embraced and kissed. She Woman, safely held Girl in her strong arms, dipped her down and brought her up again. Sliding her hands down the smaller woman's back, she held Girl's firm butt and lifted her up off her feet. Then carried her over to the couch, she gently sat down (all without pause or interruption in her kissing of Girl). Gasping for air, they finally stop. Girl looked at She Woman in awe.

"How did you learn to kiss like that?"

"Oh you liked it then?"

In response, Girl straddled She Woman's thighs.

"Hey if bad things come in threes, why should good things? Why couldn't good things come in tens, twenties or hundreds?"

"You've already gotten four kisses out of me...remember? That one you made me do as a retake?"

"Okay, but just a few more? I mean we're already sitting here." Girl smiled as she saw She Woman stare at her encircling thighs. "Yes, I'm glad I'm wearing my slacks today. So how about a few more...huh Lucious Lips?"

"Oh noooo! A few more kisses and I might lose my work ethic for the day insatiable little beast! Surely Mentor will quiz me on my 'understanding' of her job and check my paperwork. I don't think she'll be too pleased if I haven't really tried. Besides I'm not your Jeanie-in-a-bottle!"

Smiling, Girl got up off the couch. "All right, but I like being a director. Nobody is going to change my mind about that!"

"Speaking of which, please be sure to tell me how your love scene went when you see me tomorrow. I want to know if all this work I did for you, unpaid I might add, helped you out or not."

Girl was at the door. Her fingers unlocked it. She turned and spoke in a husky voice. "Yes, I'll tell you. Thanks...I really mean it...thanks a lot".

"My pleasure. You certainly make an effective and persuasive director."

Girl glowed as she looked at her friend. For a long moment, the two women's eyes were fixed on each other. Blue upon green. Green upon blue. Then Girl walked through the doorway and closed the door.

As She Woman started to work at her desk, she could hear Girl's voice singing as she walked down the hallway. "I feel like dancing...dancing...yeah oh yeah!"

She Woman paused... smiled then, with a deep sigh, went back to corporate 'reality'.


POSTSCRIPT: I like to try to be both innovative with my own stories and anticapatory (as much as possible) in regards to the Xenaverse. To the best of my knowledge, this is the first fan fiction story to anticipate in print ROC being given a chance to direct. I know she really wants to. In fact, within the hallowed confines of Renaissance, Messers. Campbell and Hurst have already been so honored. A cynic might say that in my story, my ueber Gabrielle character directed only one person. Yes, but symbolicaly, it was a very imporant person; my ueber Xena no less. Oh, I almost forgot. I've been really naughty. Oh yes I have! I've forgotten to mention all the wonderful, terribly smart, precious women that have proof read my stories. Their suggestions comments, and encouragement have been most helpful. In this list of intellectual luminaries, I include Lizbet, Virginia, Benet, Sonia, Janet and Ezzie. I also wish to thank Lizbet again for another reason. She happens to be a very talented web mistress.

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