DISCLAIMER: This is the second part of my ueber Xena trilogy. Ueber stories, such as this one, are the progeny of a particular XWP episode "The Xena Scrolls." She Woman and Girl are my own modern versions of Xena and Gabrielle. Xena and Gabrielle are owned by MCA/UNIVERSAL/RENAISSANCE. My story and my ueber characters.

WARNING: Three women talk about cold showers and sex. Then there's only two women because two's company and three's a crowd. Then one of the two women convinces the other to date her. Then there's a real steamy sex scene. Then (what else?) more talk about men, women and what makes a great lover yadda, yadda, yadda. Then there's more affection more talk and near the end of the story, I wrote this snappy little poem/song for one of the two women.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR: If you're a woman who has been criticized about your driving, you might enjoy the opening scene.

Plot? Girl vies with her chief rival, Mentor, for the attention and affections of She Woman.

The following story is part of the works of R.E. ROWLEY and is under (c) copyright 1998. Any use or dissemination of this story, for any commercial purpose, in part or in whole, without the express consent of the author is prohibited. If desired, this story may be printed for the personal private use of any reader, provided my copyright as author always appears on it.

When Girl began her drive to work, the streets, as usual, seemed almost deserted being about Five in the morning. She decided to change lanes but didn't check her rear and side view mirrors. As the blonde did so, she almost clipped another car. An angry blast on the victim's horn caused Girl's adrenaline to race even faster. As she stopped her car at the next red light, the other car came up along side her. A balding man on the passenger side sneered, "You need to learn how to drive, Sweetie."

"You need to get better looking!" Girl shot back her fear turning to anger in a flash. She was rewarded with a look of shock and dismay on the man's face. Girl smiled to herself. (Well maybe he won't be so quick to criticize another woman for awhile). She sped away when the light turned green without giving the other car a second glance.

Girl felt euphoric as she stood in the great entrance to the studio cafeteria. The people had spread out as she hoped and She Woman was sitting at a table...alone! Girl, smiling, picked up a tray and made her food selections. After paying her bill, she turned and started walking toward She Woman's table. She suddenly stopped shocked.

(Mentor! Why did she have to show up horning in on love interest?) Mentor was a producer at the same studio that Girl and She Woman were co-stars in "The Queen Of Fury" weekly TV adventure series.

(Hmmm I'll have to somehow get rid of her. There's no way I can really talk to She Woman with her there.)

Girl placed her tray down on a table and made a telephone call at a nearby pay phone. She spoke intently and adamantly to someone for awhile and then hung up the phone.

"Oh hi you two... what's up?" Girl said innocently as she sat down opposite She Woman and Mentor. Mentor stared at Girl suspiciously saying nothing. Ever since she had caught Girl lightly spanking her secretary Debbie, the atmosphere was quite frosty between them.

She Woman smiled. "It seems the fact that I have been taking cold showers to cope with my physical needs has amazed Mentor."

Mentor bit her lower lip nervously as she looked at She Woman. "I merely meant it seems so unnecessary. There are plenty of people that wouldn't mine helping you with your... uh needs.

"You for example?" Girl couldn't help butting in.

Mentor's eyes flashed daggers at Girl. "Yes me!
Do you have any problems with that?"

"No of course not. I admire optimists. I think you're one of the biggest ones I've ever met."

Mentor was about to really lose it when she was paged over the intercom. "Emergency call for Mentor. Emergency call for Mentor. Please call the main switchboard immediately."

Mentor was incredulous. "Emergency call? What's going on here?" She stared helplessly at She Woman. "I'll be back a-s-a-p." Then she glowered at Girl. "Oh yes, I'll be back!"

Girl chuckled after her rival left. " melodramatic can you get?"

"Why are you coming on to me?"

"Coming on to you?"

"Oh don't give me that innocent look! On Monday you got me to kiss you four times in Mentor's office. Tuesday you slapped my butt saying a bug had landed on it. Wednesday you grabbed me from behind in the women's washroom claiming that you felt dizzy and needed to hold on to something. And Thursday you touched my hips saying my girdle line was showing. I don't even wear girdles!"


"You still haven't answered my question. Why are you coming on to me?"

"You have a nice personality?" Girl said hopefully to the taller woman.

"Yeah right! When you grabbed me from behind in the women's john, I felt like dragging you over into a stall and..."

"And?" Girl leaned forward in excitement.

She Woman took a deep breath and regrouped. "What I mean is... I like you and I want us to be friends...but what you're doing to me"

"Hmmm. I sense some real primal passion here. Let's clarify and cut to the chase. How long has it been since you've had some good sex?"

"Good Sex?" She Woman laughed. "I'm not sure that I can remember what that is."

"That long huh? Do you like taking cold showers?"

"No I don't!"

"Didn't think so. Well...a friend in need is a friend indeed. It's Friday. We don't have to work tomorrow. How about coming to my place tonight say about 8:00? We can watch some TV, enjoy snacking from the fridge." Girl paused, "... and when we get very sleepy, we can pretend we're young girls at a slumber party and share my bed."

"Sounds interesting, but isn't that just what Mentor offered me as well?"

"Yeah, but what about your needs? Hmmm??? WHEN the magic moment comes, I'll take care of you my darling. As long as you're with me, you'll never have to take cold showers again. Warm languid baths yes but cold showers never."

"Well how's that different from Mentor?"

"Hmmm well, both you and I have come from working class families. Mentor's family is filthy rich. She don't really care about 'you'. Both you and I work hard twelve to fourteen hours a day. Mentor doesn't and isn't an actress. I know you laugh at my jokes.You don't like Mentor's 'cause' she makes fun of folks. Besides, she's older than you and I'm younger. Well I could go on but I'd much rather listen to you instead."

"If I were willing to share your bed, I want you to clearly understand that I will still make my own decisions and do what I think is appropriate or advantageous for my career in the future."

Girl's eyes fell briefly and then she looked up imploringly. "Yes I know you're very independent. I just hope that we...oh never mind. Is it a date then?"

"Yes. It's a date. I'll be at your place tonight at 8:00."

Both women smiled at each other. Girl had felt a surge of excitement go through her body when she heard She Woman agree to meet her.

As Mentor came back to their table and sat down, both actresses got up to leave.

"Wait! Where are you going She Woman? We were discussing your cold showers and your needs."

"It's all taken care of." She Woman answered in a low voice and walked away.

"Yeah thanks. You've been a big help to both of us." Girl smiled sweetly at the astounded producer and followed She Woman.

"I've been a big BOTH of them? Oh my God!"

Later in the day, a short red-headed woman in a white medical uniform came to see She Woman.

"This is Cynthia...a business partner and friend." Girl explained to her co-star.

"Oh? And what business is that?"

"She's a medical tech specializing in blood analysis."

"Blood analysis!?"

"I'm a passionate woman. I really like women. So, when I saw what AIDS did to people, I made a vow to myself that I would take all steps necessary to prevent that happening to me. I invested some of my savings in Cynthia. With my help, she started her own company. This helps me because I can call on her to come and personally screen someone whenever I need it."

"Whenever? Are you some kind of nympho?"

Girl let out an exasperated sigh. "Noooo...I'm not a nymphomaniac! I always fall in love with the person that I desire. I'm a one-woman woman. But acting is a transient profession. People are always coming and going."

"Interesting...but I think I'll pass. Let's forget the date."

Girl placed herself directly in front of She Woman. "You want to pass on these?" She had bared her breasts.

She Woman stared blatantly at Girl's exposed chest. Her calculating blue eyes had narrowed. "Will I only have to take the test once?"

"Yes. As long as we're together in a relationship."

"It really won't take long. Just a few minutes." Cynthia added supportively.

"All right. Let's get it over with."


That evening, there was a knock on Girl's front door. Girl rushed to the door, looked through the security peephole and flung it open. She Woman was standing there dressed in blue jeans and a white shirt with buttons down the front. She was carrying a large package.

"You're three minutes late." The excited blonde woman noted; locking the door after her visitor came inside.

"Bite me."

"Ohh...where?" The two women stared at each other and then both laughed.

"What's in the package? I hope it's not food or drink. You know I've stocked up on everything we like to eat at work."

"No worries. It's just some tooth paste, a tooth brush, plastic glass, hair brush, comb, a change of clothes...the usual for an over nighter."

"Okay. Let me show you where the bathroom is. You can put your dental paraphernalia there."

After that, Girl smiled at her guest. "Since you brought extra clothes, I might as well show you the LPA."

"The LPA?"

"Follow me." Girl took the taller woman's hand and led her down a corridor to a door which she opened. "I call my bedroom the launching pad area. It follows, then, that my bed would be the launching pad."

She Woman grinned. "A little boastful aren't we?"

Girl laughed. "Think so?"

She Woman looked at Girl her eyes a deeper blue than usual. "Let's find out." She started to unbutton her shirt.

Girl stared in fascination at what her friend was doing. " don't want the usual... socializing, TV, maybe some food and drink first?"

She Woman had removed her shirt and bra and now was pushing her jeans and panties down at the same time. She quickly kicked them off and stood up facing Girl completely naked. "No. You were right in your analysis of me. I'm a woman who needs sex now. But you're still fully clothed. Would you like me to take your clothes off, Director Girl?"

Girl's voice was husky with emotion. "No. Not this time. Go lie down on my bed. I'll join you very shortly." Girl had turned her back to She Woman and began quickly undressing. When she finished and turned around, she saw She Woman lying on her back with her eyes closed and a small smile on her face.

Girl walked over to the bed and sat down near She Woman. "Comfy?" She asked as the taller woman opened her eyes.

"Yes, but still in need."

Girl smiled and squeezed She Woman's left breast gently. The blonde's eyes were a deep green and her own nipples were semi-erect and yearning for attention.

"My darling. We shall nurture and comfort each other in the midst of a dangerous and uncomforting world. We are Sisters to each other because of the First Mother. We are both daughters of Eve...the first woman. What I'm going to do for you, has been done by women for women since the beginning of women. All that I have as a woman; my mind, my body, my deep love ...I give to you without limit or reservation. My soul's desire is to completely satisfy and please you."

"Well, about a kiss?" The dark-haired blue-eyed woman queried not daring to completely believe what she had just heard.

Smiling, Girl got up and carefully laid herself down over She Woman and between her legs partly covering her. Most of her weight was supported by her forearms and her bent knees.

"Ohh...this is so nice." Girl sighed happily. "Kissing and hugging a clothed woman is lots of fun. But lying naked close together so much better."

She Woman's long legs rose up sensuously and locked themselves around Girl's back. Her strong arms pulled Girl still closer to her. Blond hair touched and then merged with dark hair as the two women found each other's lips. Moaning, Girl placed her forearms directly alongside She Woman's biceps. Her hands cupping the taller woman's shoulders. She was able to push herself forward and back thus pemitting her womanhood to rub against She Woman's.


"No chance...B...B...Baby." The two enthralled women found coherent speech a bit difficult as their bodies were being affected by fast approaching climaxes.

She Woman's hips rose up and fell back many times that night. Girl knew that it would take a lot to satisfy the strong beautiful woman who had gone without sexual relief for a long time. Finally, hours later, the dark-haired woman relaxed into a blissful sleep. Girl collapsed on the bed besides her...very tired but happy. The cute green-eyed blond knew that she had put herself permanently into She Woman's memory. That no matter where She Woman went or what she would do with the rest of her life, she would never forget Girl or this night. Without question, Girl had been like a good soldier successfully completing her lengthy task in the Land of Love. At long last, Girl was also drawn into the arms of Morpheus. She was barely able to think of two scriptures before succuming: 'Whatsoever your hand findeth to do, do it with all your might...' and 'the sleep of a laborer is sweet'.

The next morning, the two gal pals lay totally relaxed in Girl's bed conversing about their recent intimacies.

"So how many times did you climax me last night... twenty? Girl, you're certainly a much better lover than any man that I've known!"

"Glad you noticed. The main problem with guys is that once they've come, they're done. Finito. Down time. BUT with a woman, well...we keep on going and going and going. How about I show you some more? Besides a woman 'knows' what a woman 'wants'. So, if you want to be well loved...get a woman. If you don't have time for lots and lots of sex, well I suppose...any guy would do."

She Woman made a face. "Could my life become so complicated that I wouldn't have time for lots and lots of sex? Yccch! I Hope not! Until I met you, I never would have believed it could be so good with a woman!" She Woman was still amazed.

"Believe it. What I did for you last night was my 'This Woman Needs S.O.S. (Sex Only Sex) Now!' There's lots more ways we can love each other. We can play the Queen and the Slave Girl both ways. We can do parodies of all the T.V. shows that we star in. Then there's all my fantasies. I'm sure you have some too. We can dance together. We can strip tease for each other using different kinds of music. Then there's light bondage, pleasure devices, improvisations, and historical re-inactments of famous women loving other women. Also quiet times, cuddling and tender moments together. Throw into all this, different foods we'll eat, different wines, different clothes, mass media enertainent ... Well, you get the idea. You won't ever become bored at my place. That I can promise you!"

"How serendipitous it all is!" She Woman exclaimed happily. "Thanks to inspired beautiful lover! Please tell me, do you happen to have a pet name for your most intimate area?"

"Why...of course." Girl chuckled. "I call it Miss Always Ready. Why? Well...for obvious reasons. Now, if I was to name yours, I would call it Mistress Earthquake."

"Mistress Earthquake? Why?"

"Are you kidding? The way you buck? You've got some strong legs baby."

The two women laughed.

"You know, as actresses, we're surrounded at work by lusting men. It might not be a bad idea to use the wisdom of the Scriptures as a kind of subtle deflector screen." The blonde said.

"Which scripture?"

"The one where Jesus admonishes his devotees to be 'wise as serpents but harmless as doves.'"


"It might be wise if we deliberately picked a quarrel with one another. Oh nothing physical, just a few timely insults thrown at each other. We don't want to seem too caught up thinking of our Friday nights at work understand? For example, during lunch, I could loudly accuse you of trying to steal scenes from me. Perhaps being a glandular case."

She Woman laughed. "Yes. I could accuse you of being height disadvantaged and suffering a napoeleonic complex. We're both actresses. That will be easy to do. Oh, can I come back next week? Do we have another date?"

"Do you want another date with me?" Girl's eyes were sparkling.

"You know I do."

"Same time?"

"Same time."

The two women kissed passionately, got up, dressed each other and ate some french toast and waffles together. She Woman reluctantly left Girl's home.


A week passed. Again Friday evening came. Forty minutes BEFORE 8:00 there was a loud impatient banging on Girl's front door.

"Wow. You're 40 minutes early." Girl stared in surprise at her lover.

"I know. I couldn't wait any longer to be with you." She Woman quickly entered and locked the door. "You ...come to me." She hungrily kissed the cute blond. Then the taller woman swiftly led her friend to the living room couch and sat down pulling Girl down to her.

"Straddle me and kiss me Girl."

The two women kissed long and deeply.

"Ahh yes...I needed that! Girl, I think I'm becoming sexually addicted to you. You're the woman with the power."

"The woman of the hour?"

"The woman with the who do."

"Who do?"

"You do."

Both women laughed and then fell silent for awhile.

Finally, She Woman chucked. "Girl, your plan to have both of us act like prima donna's at the studio was brilliant. I got called in by the top brass. They explained how important you were and how I should get along with you. It was a riot. I ranted, raved, pouted, stomped around, complained how unfair it all was but reluctantly agreed that I would be 'nice' to you. How was it with you?"

"Pretty much the same except in my scene I cried a lot."

Both women laughed.

"Men can be easily manipulated so long as you include in your strategy an idea or concept they want to believe in." Girl observed.

She Woman smiled. "What I want to believe in right now, is that someday, I might be half as good a lover as you are. I thought about you as I lay alone in my bed every night since last Friday. How wonderful you were to me. All the things you unselfishly did for me on your 'launching pad' during our first date. Girl, I want to be unselfish with you too."

Girl looked intently at She Woman. "You don't have to be. You know that."

"I know but I want to be. I want Mistress Earthquake to be with Miss Always Ready right now."

Girl hugged She Woman. The blonde's eyes were tightly closed her hair pressed against her friends.

"Oh if only I had met you when we were both teenage girls."

Both women got up. She Woman picked up Girl and gently carried her toward the 'launching pad area'. On her way there she suddenly stopped.

"Hey! I think I know who you got to place the emergency call to Mentor in the cafeteria. It was Cynthia wasn't it?"

Girl laughed. "You got that right. Score one for She Woman!"

"Oh I think I'll score more than one with you in just a little while."

Girl started kissing her friend's neck and nibbling on her nearest ear.

The next day, after She Woman left, a very happy and content Girl got sensuously out of bed. She dressed herself in a blouse and slacks and stood before her full length mirror. With an impudent smirk on her face she suddenly started snapping her fingers and swaying her hips a little. Inspired by last night's activites, she composed an original work to wit:


When I feel really blue
I'll see my lovin' baby
She'll take my stress away
She'll do me right today.

Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh!
Now my body feels fine today!
Although to some this may sound sappy
Even the pants I'm wearing feel happy!

Oh, she's a happy pants womannnn! (Chorus)
Yes! She's a happy pants womannnn! (Chorus)

Now insurance is real handy
And stocks and bonds are dandy
But without my precious honey
I would take no joy in money.

The world would seem grey and grim
I'd be a straw tossed in the wind
But my happy pants remind me
Of Love's sweet destiny.

Oh, she's a happy pants womannnn! (Chorus)
Yes! She's a happy pants womannnn! (Chorus)

Girl laughed delightedly. She made a fist out of her right hand raised it and brought it down suddenly in front of her thinking of what She Woman had been inspired to do with her.

"Yesss!" She exclaimed.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away in Central Europe, a group of men and women stared intently at a giant photo of Girl.

"Put Operation Girl into effect immediately."

"Yes General von Selbst." A tall attractive brunette replied.

"This will be the first step to remove Amerika from ever being a threat to our country again." Von Selbst declared.

(Hold onto your whips and chakrams everybody. It sounds like it could be a real rough ride for Girl in Part 3!)

POSTSCRIPT: I wish to thank both Lizbet and Virginia with their proofing and comments for this story. If you have read my other stories, you should know, by now, when I'm kidding and when I'm being serious. What's next? Obviously Part 3 of Modern Women. But is it really that simple? I can think of two ways of writing it... a happier version and a really scary version. The happier version would include a rift between She Woman and Girl, (Girl, in distress at losing She Woman, places herself in harm's way), Girl kidnapped in a foreign country, She Woman rescues Girl, and She Woman solves the sexual tension thing between the two women in a VERY unique manner. The really scary version has She Woman failing to rescue Girl, Girl slowly becoming absorbed and turned into a willing worker for this brilliant and dynamic country, this country attacks and destroys America reducing its people to a slave people. Oh, I also introduce God in a major way in this version as the only real hope for Girl and the rest of humanity. So, if you want the happier version or the scary biblically prophetic version send me an email and tell me why. I'm very empathic and will always be affected by intelligent discourse. In a way, I almost wish I could do both versions. My email address is:

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