Night Thoughts

By Ri

I would like to dedicate this story to my family for their love and support.

The characters in this story belong to Renpics and no copyright infringement is intended.


Xena was singing little Eve a lullaby. Gently she covered her daughter with a blanket Gabrielle had picked up for her at the famous market in Memphis. She sighed and looked up at the stars and tried to unwind from their latest adventure. She was tired and very confused by what happened in Alexandria.

"What's wrong, Xena?" Gabrielle put down a scroll she was struggling over and went to sit by her depressed looking best friend.

"What makes you think anything's wrong?"

"Xena."

Xena grinned slightly and shook her head, " I know itís that reliable old stand about a best friendís precognition. I always know when you're upset too...I... I wish...I didnít do what I had to do in Egypt."

Gabrielle nodded, "I know I feel really funny about the whole thing. I was just struggling to make sense of the thing in my scroll over there. I...Xena you went against your heart to what was right and I...I..Oh Xena..."She finally burst into tears that she had been holding back since the night that she killed Brutus in anger.

Xena enfolded her in a comforting embrace, stroking her hair gently, she soothingly said, "I know Gabrielle, I know. It was the first time you killed out of blood lust. My friend, Brutus created that anger in you. I saw him and I wish to hell I could of done something but I was too...busy dealing with Antony. He kept coming at you till you were so hurt and shell shocked you were acting in survival mode. It was pure reflex,Gabrielle. He had changed and not for the better, you had no more choice then ...I....did ." She finished quietly trying to soothe Gabrielle and herself. She gently rested her head on top of Gabrielle's. In this case Xena was getting as much comfort from their connection as she was giving to her friend.

They were quiet for a while till Gabrielle gently pulled back so she could see Xenaís eyes, " Xena, Uh...Did we have to do this? I mean..couldnít we have had some one else save Egypt? Why the hell do we always have to suffer like this? We're always the ones who end up torn apart inside. Doesnít anyone understand that we have feelings? Why are we the two souls that always get torn to pieces?"

Xenaís eyes drifted down to her lap. She really had no good answer to a very good question. She looked up into sad, grieving green eyes and shook her head.

"I donít know, My friend, I guess one reason is that we are very good at it. I know that I have to do it. Gabrielle, you donít...Why do you keep following me into all these battles? You have no reason to seek redemption like I do. So Why?"

Gabrielle leaned back on to her elbows. She really had to think about it. She knew she was as driven to follow this path as Xena was, it was fated and she knew it. Why? What reason, she really had no idea why.

"I donít know. I just need to help people. I want to be of service to my fellow man. I always have, it was the driving force of why I first followed you. I knew I could do more good with you then safe at home. I still know thats the absolute truth, Xena. And I want to be with you...Is that still ok?"

She asked her friend like a little girl.

Xena smiled, "You know damn well its ok. Iíd be lost with out you. I just worry, I mean stuff like this hurts you so deeply. I worry about your heart and your soul. Its one of the privileges of being your best friend." She finished with a smirk and gently nudged against her friend's hip to try and lighten the mood.

Gabrielle smiled and shook her head, "That is mutual you know. I worry about you too. This was as hard on you as it was on me...In fact I think it was harder on you. Are you truly ok?"

"No, But Iím surrounded by love, from you and Eve. So Iíll survive. Speaking of our little one, I think we should get some sleep. She gets up awfully early, you know?"

Gabrielle accepted the change of subject though she knew her friend had deep internal wounds from killing Antony. ĎShe is the bravest soul on earth,í She thought quietly as she smiled and said aloud, "Ok, lets get some sleep before Eve lets those pipes, that she inherited from you loose." She laughed and laid out her bedroll on the other side of the baby.

"Hey! Thats a great gift. Maybe Iíll teach her my war cry. Then she can ask to be fed and scare the neighbors at the same time?" Laughing they both settled down for the night.

"Good night, Xena."

"Good night, Gabrielle"

Silence.

"Xena?"

"Yes?"

"Dream of happiness."

Xena smiled at her friend. "You too, Little one, you too. I think that would be a good prescription for both of us. Good night."

"Night."

THE END

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