life Happens

Stories On This Page: Life Happens - Period of Adjustment - Solitude Hurts - - - - - - - - -Star Crossed Lovers

The Taste of Loss - When You Care Enough - Xena's Fears Realized

Here is another story. I hope you all enjoy it! The standard disclaimer. The characters
of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal. No copyright infringement is intended,
although there are some quotes from the episode included in this story.

This is Gabrielle's feelings and thoughts throughout The Greater Good.

Life Happens
by Marie E. Costa

Gabrielle wrinkled her nose. She has such an interesting sense of humor...She watched
Xena walk away before turning her attention on the golden horse standing before her.
"Ouch. You stupid conniving four footed daughter of a...mare." Gabrielle looked
around sheepishly. "Hmph! If I didn't know any better I'd think Xena had whistled for
Argo on purpose - just to irritate me." She stood up and headed for the well. "I better go
see what kind of trouble she found for us this time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Salmoneus? Lord Seltzer? Fizzy water...it's good. But battle over it? Oh over fake
weapons...now that makes sense. What does she mean; "Make him realize what he's
up against."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaia, but I love to watch her fight! "Something's wrong." Gabrielle muttered under her
breath Xena collapsing for no reason. The warlord hardly touched her. "No!" Gabrielle
reacted instantly, throwing her staff like a spear, knocking the sword out of his hand. I
have to reach Xena!

I can't believe her! Not even a small mention of the dart! I thought we'd been through
enough...that she knew she could tell me anything...could trust me...but...no...she had to
be the mighty silent warrior...

"This is really a stupid time to try to keep something from me." Gabrielle rolled her
eyes at Xena's words. "It doesn't matter. If there was even a chance of your being sick
you should have told me. You could have gotten killed." What yell at you later. Oh
gods no! "How bad is it?" Legs are useless? Gabrielle wet her lips and swallowed her
fear. "You're gonna pull through...right? I mean it's...it's not..." Oh Gaia I can't even
say it. How can this be happening? What? Worse before it gets better...

I can't believe that I agreed to imitate her. Oh gods. Xena I can't do this. You want me
to ride Argo?
Ya, my pony Tapenny. "No actually he got very sick one day and well I thought he'd get
better, but that's just what happens with things you love. Sometimes they just leave you."
I can't believe I told her that. I feel so dumb. Now she'll really think I am a child!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well that sorta worked, but Xena's still hurt. I'm so afraid. She only just started
opening up to me and now this...I can't lose her. She wants me to go back out there.
I just want to stay by her side. She says attack his camp.

"Xena are you gonna die?" I had to ask. I couldn't leave her side without knowing...she
thinks she will...why else mention Lyceus. I'll take her body back if it's the last thing I do...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't believe I was captured. Xena would be so disgusted...she can't trust me to help at
all! Argo? Rescuing me? I guess Xena's right she doesn't hate me. Maybe everything
will be okay after all.

"Xena! Xena, we've got trouble." Gabrielle glared at Salmoneus. How dare he stand
between her and Xena, and what are all these people doing here? "Salmoneus get out
of my way." What? "No." I see it in his eyes. Tell me it's not true. They part...I close
my eyes from the painful sight of her shroud covered body. I lift the blanket and look.
Oh gods it is you. I'm looking at your body, but I'm not believing. I reach out and
gently caress your cheek, your hair...I can't hold back my tears. I kiss your cheek...farewell.
I remember your words and steel myself to fight your battles from now on.

I order Salmoneus, much the way you would have. I'm not running. This isn't about us
it's about these people. I spit your words at Salmoneus. But I need to vent my anger...anger
at the gods for taking away the one person I need more than anything else...

"Argh!" The tree can't fight back...this isn't helping. "Focus. Xena said focus."

I can't believe my eyes. Salmoneus surre3ndering...does he really think this man will let
the villagers go? Xena's body. A red haze fills my eyes. No! He's not taking her body
anywhere!

Great captured again! Good thing Xena's already dead...the way I've been behaving I'd
just embarrass her. She almost laughed. They're going to use Argo to tear her body
apart! I don't think so. Kill her? Argo! No!

Xena! Alive! Oh gods! Look at her! "Glad to have you back." I reach out and touch her.
I need the physical proof that she's standing in front of me. Don't ever do this again!" A
fight? Oh ya. I duck and turn to fight.

It's over. I look up to see blue eyes smiling at me...she's okay. I return the smile. We are
going to be okay.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This is not a new piece I am placing it here because I feel it belongs with the rest of the little vignettes I have done.

Period Of Adjustment
By
Marie E Costa

Gabrielle sat and stared into the fire, losing herself in the flames.
She grinned. "Xena would be pissed if she were here. I'm doing
everything she taught me not to do." The grin faded as she recalled why
Xena was not there, but out in the woods somewhere. "Damn Callisto."
The swear rolled out bitterly. "Perdicus and I had so little time
together." She hung her head low. "I'm the reason he's dead...as sure
as if I stabbed him and now my best friend..." A shudder passed through
her body, "...looks like his killer. " Gabrielle clenched her fists.
This line of thinking wasn't helping. Rustling in the bushes... she
stood staff in hand, "Callis - Xena!" She swore under her breath and sat
back down.

Xena sat down next to her, a half smile on her face, "Fire watching is
dangerous for your health." She said, half in chastising, half in jest.
Startled by the look on Gabrielle's face. "Are you okay?"

Gabrielle wet her lips. "I..." and biting her upper lip, " Uh,
...yeah." She wouldn't, couldn't look at Xena. "I'm j..j..just
working on a story."

Xena sensed that there was something more and waited. Lifting her brow
at her friends reluctance to talk, she stood and squeezing Gabrielle's
shoulder said, "I know." She looked away. "Take your time. I'll be
around if you need me."

Gabrielle shook her head as Xena disappeared into the night. "Why
couldn't I tell her the truth? Yeah, right! I can picture that conversation.
Hey, now that Perdicus is dead, and it's because I'm your friend, and you
look like his killer, I hate you. Well, really, I hate - her -, but you look
like her, so I think 'hate' when I see you and I can't hang around you
anymore understand ?"

"But I love Xena!" came the involuntary inward scream, "I can't do that
to her; I won't let Callisto win!" Gabrielle squinted, peering sadly
into the dark, "She's somewhere out there watching over me... she won't
come back until I rest...she knows I can't stand to look at her." A
single tear rolled down her check. Gabrielle lay on her blanket and
cried herself to sleep.

Xena stood in the shadows watching, and spoke outloud to the sleeping
woman. "I have to set you free." Then she cursed the day she'd meet the
Bard. "I can't let you suffer like this. I never deserved you and now I've
destroyed you. I'll make it up to you somehow." she spoke in a low,
promising voice, before laying herself down to try and rest or at least to
pretend.

Gabrielle woke gasping for breath; heart pounding, she looked around in
fear. Half asleep and seeing Callisto instead of Xena she reached for
her staff and jumped. Forcing herself to breathe and swallow she finally
brought her heart under control. "I can't ...I gotta..." Wetting her lips and
breathing shallowly with tears in her eyes, she turned blindly away, "Xena,
I'm sorry." She fled before the Warrior could rise.

"Gabrielle!" Xena stood, took a few steps and stopped unsure of
herself. "Gabrielle..." this time it was a dragged out, torturous
sound. "Run Gabrielle, and don't look back." The words came unbidden
and Xena slumped defeated to the ground, sobs racking her body.

Gabrielle paused, leaning against a tree, breathless. "I am so stupid!
Stupid, stupid, stupid." She tugged at her hair and took a deep
breath. "Let me think." Slowly, she slid down the tree to rest against
its trunk while she caught her breath and went over the events of the
past week. "Xena didn't deserve that." She let out a long sigh. "I've
got to go back and talk to her." She stood and shaking her hair,
started to retrace her steps.

Xena stayed slumped on the ground. Another life destroyed, as surely as
though she had run her through with her sword. This time it was her
dearest love. Time flowed on, yet she remained on the ground, unmoving,
as though waiting for Hades to take her away to his domain.

Gabrielle stopped at the edge of the clearing and stared at the still
form slumped just outside the fires glow. No matter the outward
appearance, it was still her Xena. Slowly she walked forward; seeing no
movement from Xena, she frowned. "Xena?" She spoke hesitantly, and
continued to her side.

Slowly the tear stained face lifted, "You shouldn't have come back."

Gabrielle placed her hand under her friend's chin, "I had no choice."
The voice was quiet yet commanding in a way Xena had never heard
before. "You may look like her but, it is you in there. I was wrong to
ever doubt...I've been wrong in so many things lately." She looked
deeply into the brown eyes, wishing they were blue. "I married
Perdicus for all the wrong reasons. I am the cause of his death, not
you." She touched the bright red lips to silence the coming protest.

"No, his death is one that you can't claim." She swallowed hard and
forced herself to continue, "I used him to fulfill my desires. I always
did use him..." Her voice trailed away as she thought of her childhood,
and rose again, as she remembered her cause. "I guess I loved him in a
way, and I let his reactions to war and killing mesh with you and your
desire to take back all your..." Gabrielle interrupted herself. "I'm
not saying this well." She bit her lip, determined to press on.
"Xena," her hand dropped to the too skinny arm and she closed her eyes.
"I," She opened her mouth to continue, but the words didn't come. She
closed it, peered into Xena's eyes, and tried again. "I need time...I
don't want to jump every time I look at you." Inwardly she groaned, 'I
always jump - just not in this way, and I only just figured out why.'

And wetting her lips, she tried for the third time. "Can we just spend
a few days here in the woods...trying to get used to your new body?"
Now it was her turn to look away, unsure of Xena's reaction, unsure of
her own. Silently, she walked towards their camp, praying that Xena
would follow her.

"I will not let her win." Xena repeated Gabrielle's earlier
sentiments. Still kneeling on the ground, she turned to watch the Bard,
then wet her lips and rose, following her friend back to the light of
the fire.

Gabrielle sat and waited, not sure if she should speak or even if Xena
understood what lay beneath her words.

Xena paused before entering the light; taking a deep breath, she stepped
into the glow of the fire. Gabrielle watched out of the corner of her
eyes. Xena glanced around, as though searching for a seat, before
accepting her defeat. She gracefully set herself down at Gabrielle's
side.

A long, yet comfortable silence descended. Gabrielle waited patiently,
while Xena sorted through her emotions.

Finally, Xena took a deep breath and smiled, slowly letting the breath
out between pursed lips. She'd finally identified the emotion that had
been nagging at her ever since finding herself trapped in Callisto's
body. It was one she hadn't felt since she was a teenager...since
Cortese. A sense of loss, of defeat, of life changing paths without her
permission or her ability to control it. Xena clenched her fists. It
had been that spiraling out of control that had sent her on her earlier
life path. 'Now how do I talk to Gabrielle? How do I explain without
destroying what we have? What I hope to have someday? If ever I am to
have her, then first I must set her free.'

"Gabrielle." She spoke softly, emphasizing each word. "I am so sorry.
Sorry for everything. You shouldn't be forced to see her everyday. I
know yesterday you thought you'd be able to get used to it, but..."
Xena paused and seeing Gabrielle open her mouth spoke quickly. "No,
don't say a word. I need to speak now or I never will."

Gabrielle closed her mouth and nodded.

Xena continued. "I can take you to the nearest village, you can stay
there or go home. Your family would like that and I'll travel on.
Somehow I'll find a way to get my body back." Her throat was dry; she
longed for a stiff drink. "And when I do, I'll come back for you,
wherever you are."

Gabrielle reached out to touch the blond head. First, just resting her
hand on top, then absently stroking Xena's hair, she started to speak.
"Xena, I told you it's going to take some getting used to." Her lips
formed a thin line. "That doesn't mean I'm willing to leave you. What
kind of a friend would that make me?"

Xena turned to look at Gabrielle. Gabrielle shivered.. 'That
face...this wasn't going to be easy.' And loosing her nerve, she gave
Xena a wry grin, "It's been a tough few days, why don't we sleep on it.
Maybe an answer will come to us in our dreams."

Gabrielle's shiver was fine, almost invisible, but she saw it.
'Gabrielle couldn't even look at her without fear.' Xena nodded. "If
that's the way you want it. So be it."

Gabrielle stood and walked to her sleeping roll. It was going to be
another long night - even if it was half over. Throughout the night
Xena stayed by the fire, unable to rest.

BELOW BEGINS THE EPISODE TEN LITTLE WARLORDS:

Almost morning Xena came to rouse Gabrielle. "Gabrielle wake up." And
at the startled look, "It's all right it's me."

"Xena," she sighed. "Xena, I don't now if I'm gonna get used to
this." Deep breath. "It's so weird having your best friend in the body
of your worst enemy. Can you dye your hair?"

AND BELOW ENDS THE EPISODE TEN LITTLE WARLORDS WITH
MINOR INPUT FROM ME:

"So, Ares is back where he belongs, but you're still in Callisto's
body. It's wrong." Gabrielle spoke quietly.

"At least people can control their anger again." Xena was fighting to
maintain a sense of balance. She hadn't realize how much she'd counted
on Ares keeping his word until he didn't. Inwardly she was raging, but
that way led to the Warlord she once was. She might loose Gabrielle
over this, but it wouldn't be because of that. Maybe it was what Ares
wanted, but she would never be the Warlord again...she'd promised
Gabrielle.

"Hey!" Joxer pushed past the two women. "Last one to the boat has to
row. Aha, ha, ha, ha."

"Then why do I still feel like killing him." Gabrielle nodded in the
direction of the running man, whose laughter hung in the air. And, not
waiting for an answer, picked up on their original conversation, as
though it had never been interrupted. "Xena, if Ares doesn't keep his
word... if he doesn't put you back..." her voice trailed off, but came
back firmly. "I'll be there for you. No matter who's body you're in."
She was tired of letting Xena down. From now on things would be
different.

"Even a snake-haired Gorgon monster's?" Xena asked, knowing
instinctively that the statement went back to last night's conversation.

"I'll be there, I just won't look at you," Gabrielle replied, a glint of
humor in her voice, yet managing to make sure her friend realized the
final decision had been made.

"Gabrielle, I'm proud of you." Xena needed to change the subject. She
couldn't continue last nights discussion with Joxer around. "You felt
the anger, but you fought it. It takes a lot more restraint to resist
the violence than to surrender to it."

"Thank you." She grinned, not believing a word of it. She remembered
how she'd reacted to everything and she tried to lighten the mood. "Now
if I can just survive this boat ride with Joxer, I'll be fine."

"Trust me Gabrielle, you'll be fine."

Gabrielle paused in midstep, that voice...it...she turned half afraid of
what she'd see, half trembling in anticipation. A smile broke out.
"Xena? It's you right? Not Callisto?

"It's me." And nodding her head said, "go ahead test me."

Gabrielle wet her lips, "Who's body is worse to be trapped in than
Callisto's?"

"A Snake-haired Gorgon Monster's, but not by much," came the laughing
reply.

"It is you." Gabrielle breathed a sigh of relief and hugged her
friend. Tonight when they got rid of Joxer she would explain to Xena
everything she had learned through this horrid experience...there was
plenty of time.
This is not a new piece I am placing it here because I feel it belongs with the rest of the little vignettes I have done.

Period Of Adjustment
By
Marie E Costa

Gabrielle wet her lips. "I..." and biting her upper lip, " Uh,
...yeah." She wouldn't, couldn't look at Xena. "I'm j..j..just
working on a story."

"Gabrielle!" Xena stood, took a few steps and stopped unsure of
herself. "Gabrielle..." this time it was a dragged out, torturous
sound. "Run Gabjust survive this boat ride with Joxer, I'll be fine."

"Trust me Gabrielle, you'll be fine."

Gabrielle paused in midstep, that voice...it...she turned half afraid of
what she'd see, half trembling in anticipation. A smile broke out.
"Xena? It's you right? Not Callisto?

"It's me." And nodding her head said, "go ahead test me."

Gabrielle wet her lips, "Who's body is worse to be trapped in than
Callisto's?"

"A Snake-haired Gorgon Monster's, but not by much," came the laughing
reply.

<><><><><><>

Takes Place After Chariots of War

Solitude Hurts
by
Marie E. Costa

Xena stared sullenly into the fire...she knew better, but at least her hearing
would alert her of any danger, and tonight she felt like indulging herself in
the pain she felt. Her mind wandered back over the last few days...the little
girl who spoke only when Xena was ready to leave...the boys...they showed
her what life could have been...her son that no one knew she had. Damn this
hurts! I don't even love that man but his kids...Gaia but I could have loved
being a mother. To taste what life could have been...she looked at Gabrielle's
head bent over her scrolls and stifled a sigh. Does she realize what she's
given up? And what had she meant, not as much when I am with you...I am
going to have to do something about her. She is too trusting of strangers that
warlord's pup could have been dangerous...but taking her with me is too
dangerous. Oh Hades I can't even get her to stay back and wait for me...she
had to come looking for me! She could have been killed! Why is she following
me around anyway...it's not like I've been exactly pleasant company. Friends?
What made her decide we were friends? She did...it was her decision...the only
one I've made was in accepting responsibility for her...but for the life of me I
don't know why...

Gabrielle wet her lips as she concentrated on writing down her thoughts on
the past week. I've only been with Xena a few weeks, but they have been
packed with excitement. She has taught me so much and half the time I think
she doesn't realize she is teaching me. Like our second night together when
she told me to get the firewood, and she proceeded to show me how to build
a proper campfire for little smoke and ease of cooking. She didn't say anything
just took the wood from me and went about making the firepit. Teaching me
without words. Yet, whenever I ask her why she does things a certain why she
slows down and explains the whys to me. She paused in her writings and
glanced at the warrior woman through her lashes. But how do I get her to
teach me to fight? It's the only thing she refuses to answer. If I could learn
to protect myself maybe she'd stop leaving me behind. She frowned realizing
that something was bothering Xena. She put aside her scroll and rose.

"Xena?" Gabrielle said questioningly as she sat down next to her friend.
"What's wrong?" She looked at the sad, blue eyes and reached a hand out
to touch the warrior. Stopping and clenching her fist when Xena flinched,
her own green eyes full of pain and concern for the warrior woman. Yet it
was the pain that Xena noticed, and that pain was what made Xena flinch.
Xena thought the pain was because of her...it was, but not because of
anything Xena had done, it was because Xena was in pain, and Gabrielle
didn't know how to help her.

Xena looked at the younger woman and turned away. Ashamed of her
thoughts...where did this weakness come from? Her eyes burned. She
rubbed at them. She didn't want sympathy. Stiffen up warrior she
admonished herself. You never would have made it in any army never
mind as a leader if you were this weak. "Nothing." She snarled the word.
"It's late go to sleep." She commanded.

Gabrielle hesitated. Xena needed her of that the young woman had no
doubts, but how to get the older woman to realize it? How to help her
cope with her changed circumstances? Maybe in time she'd find an answer,
tonight she bit her inner lip and nodded agreement. Returning to her blanket,
she carefully placed her scroll into her bag and laid down to rest.

Xena watched as Gabrielle did as she bid. How can I explain to her?
My fears - she has none - is it because she's never faced death, never watched
loved ones torn form this world? She's so full of questions! She wants to
know everything and I...I want to hide from all I know...

Gabrielle hid her face by turning away from the firelight. She couldn't
sleep now if her life depended on it, but she didn't know how to refuse
the warrior. Her mind turned to the past few days. Would it have been
so hard to stay in that village? Xena could have had a family...ready made
and I could have settled with that warlord...he was cute and kind, he sort
of made me think of a lovable little puppy...we would have been able to
stay friends and live out our lives in peace. She shuddered...no! That's the
kind of thing I was running from when I decided to follow Xena. Outloud
she murmured, "No, this is the life I chose."

Xena raised an eyebrow questioningly at the loud murmur. Whatever
could Gabrielle be dreaming of ? Was she even asleep? "Gabrielle?"
She asked hesitantly. "You okay?"

Gabrielle took the opportunity to sit up. She clasped her hands to her
knees and looked across the firelight at Xena. The warrior still sat where
she'd left her minutes ago. Hands loosely draped across her knees.
Did the warrior woman know what a pretty picture she made? It didn't
matter...she smiled. "I'm fine." Her emerald green eyes sparkled in the
moonlight. "I just started dreaming about what life would have been like
if we stayed in that village." She shook her head violently. "No thanks, I
don't want that life." She gave her friend a half smile. "I already left it
behind once, I'm pretty sure I would have gone stir crazy in less than a
year." She took a deep breath and looked skywards. "I've already gotten
used to sleeping out here and listening to Gaia's world instead of the world
of men. I don't think I could go back."

Xena grinned sardonically. So naive. She shook her head. "This will pall
and when winter comes you'll be cursing me and the ground you sleep on.
You'll be screaming at yourself for not staying in some cozy village with a
man to take care of you.

Gabrielle's eyes opened wide. "I don't think so!" she exclaimed earnestly.
"And, I could never curse you. You have given me so much! Without you
I'd be married to a dull and boring farmer...or worse a slave to some
grotesque man!" She shook her head wildly. "Xena," she spoke softly,
knowing the warrior had excellent hearing. "It's the life I chose."

Xena reared back shocked by the vehemence in the young girls voice.
She watched the strawberry blond hair fly around her heard as she shook
her head in denial of Xena's words. "Okay." She twisted her lower lip up
and raised both hands to ward off the girl. "I believe you." She stared in
mild confusion at the girl's attitude, but accepted defeat. And took defeat
gracefully in order to turn the discussion to one she had wanted to have
since meeting Gabrielle's 'tree'. "Speaking of marriage and men," she began
wryly, raising one eyebrow at Gabrielle's suddenly attentive face. "When I
leave you in a village you have to be more careful." She paused trying to
figure out how to explain it to the girl.

Gabrielle jumped in eager to seize the moment to get what she wanted
from the warrior. "If you trained me to fight you wouldn't have to leave
me behind." She leaned forward. "I could guard your back! We could -"

"No!" Xena's face got hard and an icy glint entered her eyes. "I will not
teach you to be a warrior!" She stood up. "I need to check the perimeter."
She strode away from the campsite.

"Damn..." Gabrielle stared at the retreating woman. "Why won't she
teach me?" She stood up, "I will learn to fight! One day I will fight by
her side!" Too tense to sleep, but knowing she'd get no further with Xena
on this night she lay back on her blanket and closed her eyes to wait for
morning to come.

Xena slipped silently back into camp. There would be no sleep for her
this night. She had vowed never to teach another the art of war. This
young girl craved adventure so much...would she leave Xena to find it
with another? She gazed in wonder at the girl. In sleep she appeared
even younger than she was. So innocent...how did one live to become
an adult without losing that innocence? She shook her head in awe, and
with a quirky smile on her face leaned over the still form to brush the hair
out of her face. So trusting...so lovely...she traced the proud cheekbone
and drew back her hand quickly as though the touch burned. What was
she doing? She drew a deep breath and sat back down, placing her head
in her hands...Gaia protect this girl from me. How am I to redeem my soul
when it's so black? Warlords and innocents don't mix, shouldn't mix...but
I need something...someone to show me the way. Maybe...she glanced at
the sleeping girl and her eyes softened...maybe she can show me the way.

Gabrielle lay quietly pretending to be asleep. It had taken all her courage
to remain still when she felt Xena's hand on her cheek. She knew the
former warlord would never have touched her if she'd been awake. Xena
needed human contact, if someone had been there for her when her brother
had been killed she never would have become the hardened killer everyone
else said she was.

Why wasn't someone there? Gabrielle wondered silently...she had a mother.
Where was she, that Xena had been allowed to bury the hurt and pain of
Lyceus' death deep beneath a wall of rage that burned for ten years.

Gabrielle vowed silently to help the woman. Gabrielle felt connected to
this strange warrior in a way she couldn't explain. She had felt a connection
ever since she had looked into those intense blue eyes from across a meadow
full of brawling people. She knew it was up to her to help Xena find her way
in the world. She needed to bring her out of her enforced solitude and show
her how to become one with humanity again. We are not meant to be solitary
creatures. Somehow she had to make her feel again...to be unafraid of love.

<><><><><><><><>

Here is another story. I hope you all enjoy it. The standard disclaimer. The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal. No copyright infringement is intended, and this all came from my brain, and is not taken from any literary source or any other source whatsoever. No one gets the blame for my stories except me.

Gabrielle's adventure during The Path Not Taken

Star-crossed Lovers
by
Marie E. Costa

Gabrielle sighed. This was most uncomfortable. Xena was going to be so angry with her. Stay behind and stay safe. She sighed again and closed her eyes. I just wanted to prove I could be helpful. When she finds out I got myself and the Prince captured I am going to be in big trouble. I hope she's all right. I didn't want her going in there. She's still so wild...she could decide she fits in with them better then with me...oh Gaia protect her. Of course I was proud of her when she made him give the poor the gold...but why take his medallion?

"I'm sorry." The young prince said to the woman who until they had shackled her to the stockade hadn't shut up. He was afraid she would die and it would be all his fault.

Gabrielle opened her eyes. "Huh?" She smiled encouragingly at the man.

"I said I am sorry I got you into this mess."

"Oh," She attempted to shrug off his worry. "Don't be. Xena will get us out of this. Besides it's really my fault. I'm the one that insisted we come here." She waved her hands helplessly. "I really don't understand. I was so sure that we would be allowed to see the King and if we did you and I would be able to convince him that you truly love his daughter and had no part in the kidnapping. Of course Xena will be mad at me." She lapsed back into silence. How am I going to make it up to her this time?

The prince looked skeptically at the strawberry blond girl that stood arms shackled and head thrust through the wooden bars in a much more uncomfortable position then he himself. How could she be so calm? They were going to be executed tomorrow at noon and she acted as though it were no big deal! He couldn't be killed he needed to make sure his princess was okay. The more he thought the more panicked he became. He started to struggle against his bonds.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Gabrielle looked surprised. "Don't. You'll make it worse. Besides if we wait long enough Xena will be here."

"She doesn't even know where we are." He hissed.

"Sure she does." Gabrielle said cheerfully. "She always knows when I get myself in trouble." She tilted her head. "Besides, I'm positive that news of our capture has spread like wildfire...not that it'll make her happy...she hates it when I don't obey her."

"Ah, that explains it." The prince nodded to himself.

Gabrielle frowned. "Explains what?"

"I wondered why you with a cold-blooded killer and your comment..." he raided an eyebrow. "...You are her slave."

"Slave?" Gabrielle shook her head. "No...no...no," She twisted her head trying to get a better look at the prince. "I'm no slave! We're friends. And, she's not a cold-blooded killer!"

"Friends?" it was his turn to look confused. "How can someone like you be friends with a swords woman? You are so..." his voice trailed off as he tried to think of as word to describe the young woman, "...so much like my Jana that I find it hard to believe you follow her willingly!"

"So does she." Gabrielle muttered the words. "And I wish I knew how to convince her that it's for the best." Silence descended on the dungeon while the two inmates turned their thoughts to the people they loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabrielle sighed. All but one torch had gone out. Dungeons were rather dreary. She cranked her head trying to take in all the nuances of this particular dungeon...it wasn't pleasant. The smell alone set her stomach off food. She noted a few torture devices and wondered if the king believed in using them. She blanched at the thought. Xena please hurry. She sent a silent prayer to the warrior.

"Do you really think she'll come?" The prince spoke quietly.

Gabrielle started. "Huh?" It was almost as if the young prince had read her thoughts.

"Your friend," He furrowed his brows. "Do you really think your friend will came?"

"Yes." Gabrielle smiled. "I know she'll come."

"How can you have such faith in someone..." his voice trailed off as he tried to find the words to describe the female warrior as he saw her. He shook his head and let the subject fall.

Gabrielle felt her anger rise. Why did people insist on judging Xena without taking the time to get to know her? "Faith? Faith in her is easy!" She let her anger show. "Who's idea was it to give gold to the hungry? Yours?" A low growl erupted from her throat. "I don't think so! She did. And just who was it you came running to when your fiancee was in trouble? I saw plenty of other warriors in that tavern. People like you make me sick! Just because she doesn't conform to your ideas doesn't mean you have the right to put her down. Especially when you use her and her talents so easily."

Agranon lowered his head in shame. The woman was right. He was despicable. Father would be so disappointed. As a leader he still had a lot to learn...if he ever got through this ordeal alive. The silence was deafening. "I'm sorry." He managed to say, eyes peeking up at Gabrielle. "You are right. I judged without taking the time to learn all the facts. Father would not be pleased."

"Ya, well just do better." Gabrielle muttered, a smile on her lips as she recognized her friend's admonishment to her. Well at least she can't say I don't listen to her.

The two lapsed into an uneasy silence and time crept slowly past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah...hi Xena." Gabrielle put a false smile on her face and waved at her friend .

Xena placed both hands upon her hips. "Would you care to explain to me how you ended up in chains when I specifically told you to stay put in that tavern?"

"Ahm." Gabrielle bit her lip. "You know me." She half giggled. "Can you get me out of this now? It's really not all that comfortable."

The young prince watched in shocked horror as his benefactor was kept in chains by her friend...he didn't understand how could she truly like this? He stepped forward.

"Stay back." Xena didn't even turn her head. "This is between me and Gabrielle."

"But!" He spoke loudly. Frightened and yet compelled to save the young blonde woman.

"Agranon please just go join your princess." Gabrielle lifted her head and turned to face the man. "I'll be fine. Honest." She would have shrugged but her shoulders hurt to much from being locked all afternoon in the stockade.

Torn between the desire to see his beloved and doing the right thing by the young woman he hesitated.

"Go." Xena ordered. "Guard take him to the King. I believe it's time for the King and his future son-in-law to have a talk about hospitality."

The guard stepped forward and Agranon pursed his lips angrily. He didn't like being pushed around, but allowed it, he knew he was no match for this warrior.

Xena smiled at the blond woman who stood uncomfortably before her. "Please Xena I promise I'll listen to everything you say. If you say stay behind I won't argue I'll do it." Xena reminded the woman of her own words, spoken at the privacy of their campfire when Xena had once again attempted to convince the girl to go home.

"Haaa." Gabrielle tried to smile. "Sorry?" She looked pleadingly at her friend. "Please get me out of these chains. You can yell at me all you want once I'm free."

Xena nodded. "Perhaps you've learned your lesson this time?" She asked as she opened the latch and lifted the bar allowing the bard to step out, before lowering the bar back in place.

"Yes." Gabrielle admitted. "From now on I do just what you tell me to and not one thing more." She rubbed her wrists and rolled her shoulders to get the kinks out, and stepped around the Stockade. "Thanks." She stepped closer to Xena only now noticing the dark ring around her eyes. "What's wrong?" She placed a hand upon the warrior's arm. "Your not wounded are you?" Fear in her eyes and voice as she started to check her friends body for injuries.

"No." Xena pulled away. "I'm fine."

Gabrielle stopped the warrior. "Xena? What happened?"

The warrior turned and sad blue eyes looked at the young woman. "I ran into an old friend in the compound."

Gabrielle frowned. "And?"

Xena's lip trembled and blinking her eyes she looked away. "They're getting his body ready for the funeral pyre."

"Oh!" Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry." She squeezed Xena's arm. "Was he a close friend?"

Xena didn't trust her voice. She nodded. Why couldn't she control herself. She never had this problem in her warlord days.

"Did you...?" Gabrielle was afraid that her friend's new life had caused her to kill an old friend. She knew it had been a bad idea for her to go into that walled city. She couldn't bring herself to ask out right, but Xena would know what the unfinished question meant.

"No!" She turned to look at Gabrielle. "I don't think I could have killed him." She lowered her head and quietly admitted. "Even to save my own life." She almost lost it when Gabrielle squeezed her arm lovingly. "He died saving the princess." She explained. "He didn't have to...I could have saved her without his sacrifice." Her voice wavered and she looked at Gabrielle lost bewildered by the strange turn of events. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears. "I loved him." Now that it was too late she could finally make the commitment she'd been unable to make as a warlord. Love was too dangerous a thing in her old life...too often it was used to break a person. Now that her heart had been reopened emotions cut her like a knife and she wasn't equipped to handle them. War and fighting she understood...this was beyond her.

Gabrielle stared sadly at Xena. How to make it right? "He was one of the enemy wasn't he?" She watched as the warrior nodded. "And yet for you he turned on them?"

"No." Xena looked at Gabrielle. "He did it because he believed it was the right thing to do."

"Then he died a hero and is surely in the Elysian Fields." Gabrielle smiled reassuringly at Xena. "Come on." She pulled the warrior by the arm. "I think he deserves to have you sing him to his final rest."

<><><><><><><><>

Here is another story. I hope you all enjoy it! The standard disclaimer. The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal. No copyright infringement is intended, and this all came from my brain, and is not taken from any literary source or any other source whatsoever. No one gets the blame for my stories except me.

>From Athens City Academy of Performing Bards

The taste of Loss
by
Marie E. Costa

Xena's insides froze. How dare she...control. I need to maintain control.
She wormed her way into my life. She told me I'd never be alone again.
She taught me to believe, to accept, to share, and now she casually mentions
leaving me. I am a fool! I knew it couldn't last. I knew I was a fool to allow
myself to feel again. I needed to pretend it didn't affect me. It's her decision.

I tried so hard to act nonchalant as I asked. "For how long?" Did she hear
my heart drop? Four or five years! She said it as though she were only going
away for an afternoon. I thought she craved adventure. I thought she wanted
to see the world. I thought she said I wouldn't be alone ever again! Betrayal
seems to be the norm for me. I must accept it. It's probably for the best
anyway...she's too good...too full of light to live my way. I need to let her go.

I fought to control my breathing. Slowed my heart beat...What nonsense was
she spouting while I fought to maintain my calm...I won't notice her absence?
I spoke without thinking. "Even if I had an army around me I'd notice you
missing." She looked at me with such surprise. Why? Have I been that mean?
Didn't she realize how I felt? Why else would I be so protective? Maybe
she didn't expect me to admit it. Maybe that's why she's leaving? Is it
because I care, or because she didn't think I did? More nonsense...of course
she'll get in. I know they'll accept her...she's good, very good.

A quick good-bye. Already I miss her. Xena's eyes softened as she watched the
strawberry blond walk out of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabrielle tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. The bed was soft
enough so why couldn't she sleep? Sighing heavily she sat up and lit a
candle. The room seemed so empty...maybe I've gotten too used to sleeping
with someone...first Lila and then Xena...I've never been alone before.

Her mind turned to Xena and she felt an unfamiliar stab at her heart. Did the
warrior even miss her? She frowned. Probably not...she was probably glad
I left....I was little more than a nuisance to her...she was always getting me
out of one scrape or another...I wonder why she never forbid me to follow
her? I mean other than the first time, which doesn't count. Every time
she got upset with me... every time she saved me from my own folly...
every time she told me to stay behind and wait for her I was positive
she'd leave me...instead I left her. "I wonder what she's up to now?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xena slowly put away her dishes. Supper had been slightly burned
vegetable and undercooked rabbit. She really hated cooking. Picking
up her sword and whetstone she sat by the dying fire and began
sharpening her sword. Same routine she'd followed for years so why
did it seem so meaningless tonight?

So many times in the past I wished Gabrielle would shut up. Now I
just wish she were her. I'd gladly let her talk my ear off! The night
noises magnified, sleeping never easy to begin with, was near impossible
now. The lack of noise from the opposite side of the campfire kept her
awake, as easily as any nightmare she'd ever endured. Damn the girl!

During the day she'd found herself turning to the empty spot where
Gabrielle should have been walking. It hurt more than she wanted to
admit. Maybe in the morning she'd head towards Athens...just to make
sure the girl was okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabrielle smiled. She couldn't believe her luck. To think that all these
talented bards were upset because she'd been cast out of the contest...she
shook her head in wonder. Her smile deepened and her heart sang with joy
as she heard the greatest bard she'd ever hoped to meet declare it a sin if
she were not allowed to compete. If only Xena were here to share her
triumph. Her joy lessened and she faltered...if she got in she'd never see
her friend again. A sharp pain tore through her body and she sagged in
her seat. The realization of what she had done just now hitting home. She'd
left her best friend all alone. She's out there fighting who knows what with
no one to care if she falls. She put a hand over her mouth, and looked with
horror stricken eyes at the stage. What a fool I have been! But I can't fail
to win...not after all they went through for me, but I can't stay here. I have
to find a way...turn down the award.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly Xena packed Argo and turning around headed for Athens. What
she'd say when she got there still eluded her, but she'd find the right words.
Maybe she could pretend Gabrielle had forgotten something of hers, or that
Hercules had sent a message and she was going to go join him...no she
couldn't lie to the girl. She pressed her lips together and furrowed her
eyebrows, trying to think of something to say. She slipped off Argo.
Much as she wanted to reach Athens she didn't know what to do when
she got there so she decided to walk, maybe she'd be inspired. Walking
certainly seemed to inspire Gabrielle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I should be sad to be leaving the Academy, it is what I dreamed about
most of my childhood...but I'm not. Gabrielle thought grinning from
ear to ear. They accepted me, but I don't belong with them. Now I can
go back to Xena. A shadow dropped over her face as she thought of her
fears from the night before. Fears that Xena wouldn't want her back.
Shrugging she shook her fear away. I don't need to worry...after all Xena
did say she'd miss me. A warm pleasant feeling filled her from the center
out at the mere thought of rejoining the warrior woman.

<><><><><><><><>

Gabrielle's thoughts and actions during and after 'Ties That Bind'

When You Care Enough
by
Marie E. Costa

Xena's father! It echoed inside Gabrielle's head. How could he be her father and her not know it? "Xena wait." She said puzzled. "Don't you want to get to know him?"

"He isn't my father." She snarled.

"What if he is?"

"Attrius. All my father ever cared about was himself." It hurt admitting it, but it was the truth. Xena turned to walk away. She couldn't think.

"Is he your father?" Gabrielle grabbed her arm If he was maybe with his help Xena could heal some of her pain.

"Give me a break." Xena twisted out of her friend's grip, but didn't move. Finally she lifted painfilled eyes. "How am I supposed to know? He left so long ago. I was just a little girl and he was my everything...and he left me."

Gabrielle watched her leave and her heart filled with an ache that wouldn't let go. She deserves her happiness. I can step aside give her a chance to heal this breach. He seems like a good man.

I'll let her know once we reach the village. He's a warrior, like her...together they can do so much good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh Gohds not again! The girls are safe...I need to help. Attrius. Oh! He killed that man in cold blood! He was surrendering. Something's not right. She frowned. That man didn't have a knife. She shook her head as if to clear it. I would have seen it. Wouldn't I? But Xena accepted it... I didn't see it. Gabrielle sat back on her heels. Maybe she was being foolish. He's her father. What was that he said; "As long as the two of you are together there is no place for me." I can't let him walk out of her life. Not now. He's her father...she needs him.

Hmm...Gabrielle walked silently lost in thought. If this young girl could give herself over to slavery to save her sister...volunteer to go so her sister could have a chance at being happy can I do any less. Xena needs her father...needs his love and acceptance. Tears sprang to her eyes. I'm going to have to give her up. She bit her lip. Can I be as strong as Raia?

I had to tell her I'll take the girls while they scout...she never would have let me leave otherwise. Once I have them save I can just leave. Disappear before she gets here. This man he had to be Xena's father. It had to be right for them to be together, but why then did it feel so wrong?

I'm glad that things worked out for Raia. She deserves to be happy. I am glad they accepted her back. "Know you did the right thing." I pray I did the right thing.

And the villagers they have nothing but contempt and hatred for Attrius. I know I've seen the same hate in the eyes of other villagers and it was aimed at Xena, but for some reason this hate seems more evil. I need to get to the bottom of this, before Xena gets back. She will come back...and she will have defeated the army, or maybe just take it over...why does life have to be so difficult?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHO DID THIS TO MY FATHER?"

That yell. "Xena?" Gabrielle called out as she ran. "What the? No. Don't run. She won't hurt us. Xena's my best friend!" What the heck was going on? Oh my gods! Attrius! Beaten and hung up to die. She pressed a hand to her mouth. How? When? Why didn't I hear anything? This isn't possible. A scream reached her ears. "Kill them all!"

"No!" Gabrielle screamed. "Wait. Put it down, Xena!" I can't let you do this.

"They killed my father now they'll die too. Get out of my way!" Hate filled eyes of cobalt blue glared angrily at Gabrielle.

"XENA!" Gabrielle gasped as Xena's maddened eyes turned toward her. Her heart snapped. "Now I'm standing up to a murderous warlord. The same way I saw you stand up to Draco, only this time the murderous warlord is you!" She cried the words as fear and a feeling of hopelessness invading her soul, but determined to do the right thing.

Xena shoved the slight woman aside and turned to the village elder.

Gabrielle struck her from behind. Fear in her eyes. Tears in her heart.

Slowly Xena rose and blinked. She shook her head once, twice, three times.

"Xena. A voice called from far away. Attrius? Wasn't Attrius...Ares. Set up...What a fool I've been.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Go ahead Kill me." She tossed her sword away.

"Xena!"

"Stay out of it Gabrielle."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabrielle breathed a sigh of relief. I should have known that Ares would never kill her. So now we go on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fire had died down. Xena lay back and closed her eyes. Gabrielle feigned sleep. She truly needed to sort through her feelings. Today she almost gave Xena back to the darkness. Ares! Had he fooled them because he was good or because they had wanted to believe? Xena. Just saying her name calms me, even as it thrills. She smiled to herself. Ties that bind us closer than family. I never thought she'd tell me how she felt, but those words sure tell me she feels as strongly about me as I do about her. Maybe today's adventure was worth it. The smile reached her eyes. At least I know...I think I know, that she won't send me home. I know I'd give my life for her...and she for me. Heck I was willing to give her up for her own good. And it would have been the worst thing I ever did. Gabrielle shuddered. I almost handed her into the hands of Ares. Now what do I do? How do I help her heal?

"Gabrielle?"

"Xena?"

"Stop worrying and go to sleep."

Gabrielle's mouth dropped open. "How do you do that?"

Xena opened one eye and smiled. "I have many skills."

"Ya, I know." Laughter filled Gabrielle's voice. "And I still want to know how you do that."

"Okay." Xena laughed. "I listened to your heart."

"Huh?"

"I listen to the sounds around us. The woods, the animals, the birds, the wind, the stream, the fire, all make sounds unique to themselves. Once identified I listen for other sounds..." She let her voice trail off.

Gabrielle sat in awe. "I could never sit that quietly."

"I know." Xena chuckled.

"Hey!" Gabrielle protested. "No need to insult."

"I wasn't." Gabrielle could hear the joy in her friend's voice. "Just agreeing with you. Now go to sleep."

"Okay." Gabrielle leaned over and kissed her friend on the cheek. "Thank you." She laid down and closed her eyes. All would be okay and as she drifted off to sleep she mumbled out loud. "Ties that bind..."

<><><><><><><>

The standard disclaimer.
The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal. No copyright
infringement is intended, and this all came from my brain, and is not
taken from any literary source or any other source whatsoever. No one
gets the blame for my stories except me.

This little vignette takes place when Gabrielle announces her intention
to marry Perdicus.

Xena's Fears Realized
by
Marie E. Costa

Xena stood still, shaken to the very core by Gabrielle's announcement.

Unable to say a word, yet inside, a torrent of words screamed to come

forth. "I managed on my own just fine! But than you came along...Did I

grow soft? Or was there always that ache inside of me... the ache only

you could fill." She watched as Gabrielle walked toward Perdicus. "You

fought to be my friend. I finally acceded my defeat... and now you tell

me goodbye. You're going to marry that farmboy turned warrior? How can

this be? How can you leave me for him?" Xena looked on as Gabrielle

placed her arm on Perdicus'. "What happened to our friendship? All the

talk you shared with me, of your dreams for all our tomorrow's. Our

needs and wants? The adventures you wanted to share in? You don't love

him! You're mistaking a childhood friendship for love...or perhaps it's

guilt you're feeling. Guilt because he learned to kill!" Xena listened

from a distance as Gabrielle told Perdicus, 'yes, I'll marry you'. Her

blue eyes turning icy as Perdicus turned and placed his arms around

Gabrielle and drew her close to him.

"No matter what he says today, he killed for quite a while. He had to

learn to kill and learn it well - to fill the high rank he had at Troy!

Didn't you watch him giving commands, as though born to it. He wants

you and that's why he is giving up the sword. He can't be so foolish as

to believe if he carries no sword he'll never be challenged?" Tears of

rage filled her eyes. "He no longer has the bearing of a farmer. In

his stance alone he carries challenge to all the bullies, and if another

Warlord comes looking for a fight, they will find it in his eyes."

For just a second her eyes softened, and she spoke out loud, barely

above whisper, "Then where will you be? I won't be there to help." She looked

at the ground and spoke again to herself. "I couldn't bare to stay near

and see the change marriage would bring to you."

Xena walked slowly toward the couple. She winced. It hurt just thinking

of Gab as part of a couple. "How can I watch her marry him?" She shook

her head, if only she were brave enough to say the words, "I can't hang

around and watch you loose yourself. I've seen it before. You are not

meant to keep house, tend the fields, and whelp child after child."

Xena paused to grab Argo's reins; still her heart yearned to scream the

words that pushed inside, trying to escape, "No, Gabrielle, you are

meant for far better things. Your light shines bright, bringing soothing and

help to all you meet. In the midst of troubles you seem to know the

right thing to say - whether to a thug - or to a king. Your gift for

storytelling is a rare and precious Bardic gift. I can not believe that

you are so willing to give it up...and for Him? You defied your family

to follow your heart and now this? What does he have that I don't!?"

A lump formed in Xena's throat. "This may be the hardest thing I have

ever done, but I will let you go. I will pray to all the Gods and

Goddesses to watch over you and to protect you from this folly, but I

will not play the jealous friend." She held her head high. "I will not

stand and beg you to stay. It is not in me for that. I will stay to

see you wed. I can, and will, pretend joy for you, for if you wish to

deceive yourself... I can only help. I will survive, my friend. I will

survive."

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