Warrior...Bard...Goddess of Love?

by Kim (KP) Pritekel with Maria Autobee

Disclaimers: I wish they were mine, but only in my dreams. RenPics owns them. How dare they! But thanks for letting them come out and play.....

Subtext: Yes, there is. This is Alt, after all.

Violence: Nah.

Note: Okay, kiddies, this was a little ditty that a friend and I threw together. It's a cute little story, so don't be too harsh.

If you'd like to tell me what a wonderful writer I am, or that I royally suck, feel free at:


The sun overhead was hot, it's rays bore down like Zeus' lightning bolts of legend. Gabrielle walked ahead a pace, her staff bouncing along the dirt road as she jumped around, replaying their last battle.

"That was great, Xena! Wham! You smacked that guy so hard I don't think he's going to be waking up anytime soon. Woohoo!" she smiled back at her companion. "Xena?"

"Huh?" Xena said, the sound of her name bringing her out of her day-dream as she stared at the firm, round behind of the bard as it moved under her skirt. "Well, listen to my story 'bout Gabrielle.." Xena began to sing to herself, but then caught her lustful imaginings in mid key. She shook her head to clear her mind. "Yeah. Yeah, it was great." she looked up at the overhead sun. "Pretty hot. Let's stop for a bit until it cools down."

"Okay. Hey!" Gabrielle exclaimed. "Look." She pointed through the thicket of trees. "A lake. Let's go swimming, Xena!" Xena looked towards the lake, her brows drawn. Suddenly she saw the bard in her minds' eye naked and wet. She shook the visual from her mind. Bad idea, she thought.

"Tell you what, you go swim, Gabrielle. I'm gonna get us something to eat."

"Come on, Xena. It is way too hot to do anything but cool off. Maybe we can catch some fish as we swim?" Gabrielle said hopefully, hoping her real intentions were hidden by her innocent pleading.. Xena grinned.

"Go. I'll be back soon."

Damn. Gabrielle sighed. "Okay."

"Take Argo and tie her off on a branch near the bank so she can eat, and get something to drink, too." Xena said, then turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Gabrielle led Argo into the trees and found a nice, shady spot to tie her with plenty of wild grass to munch on. Argo taken care of, she swung her staff around to face an immense opponent, whose branches and leaves leave t a foolish hole for attack..

"Ha! Thought you could outsmart me with that move, didn't ya? Well, go ahead. Make my day." she said through clenched teeth, legs spread in the warrior stance that Xena taught her, staff at the ready.

Argo munched contentedly on the river grass until she spotted the succulent leaves on the low-hanging branch of the tree next to her. As she pulled at it with her teeth she watched as Xena's annoying little blond did battle with the foliage. She stretched her neck trying to grab that nice, plump bunch of leaves at the end, pulling the branch taut. Suddenly Argo felt the branch sliding through her teeth, becoming a whip-like weapon headed for the bards behind.


With a scream Gabrielle jumped as something attacked from behind. A sneak attack! The staff was knocked out of the bard's hands and launched into the air as Gabrielle was thrown face first into the bushes she was so eager to attack.

Xena stopped picking berries as her head snapped in the direction of Gabrielle's scream. She saw the staff shoot up from the line of trees, and crash back down with a loud thump and a very loud "Oww!". Shaking her head, and rolling her eyes, she turned back to her berries.

Gabrielle rubbed her head as the staff landed at her feet, then untangled herself from the greenery, rubbing her behind. In a huff she grabbed her staff and headed to the clear, cool water.

Standing on the shore with her staff at her side, Gabrielle looked at her reflection that stared back with disappointed eyes.

"Nice one, Gabby." she said quietly and tossed the staff to the sand as she disrobed.

Xena walked through the dense trees stopping at the bushes with the most ripe berries. She plucked a big, juicy berry from her pouch. She rolled the fruit between her fingers testing its firmness, her mind beginning to wonder back to Gabrielle. She brought the berry to her lips, and bit into it. She closed her eyes as the dark juice squirted into her waiting mouth. She wondered if Gabrielle would taste this sweet. The sound of splashing water brought Xena out of her reverie. Gabrielle must be in the lake. Walking further into the thicket, Xena thought back to when she had taught Gabrielle how to fish, her way- in the nude. She smiled to herself.

"Just reach under this rock. Give it your best shot." Xena had explained.

"Okay." Gabrielle said as her head disappeared beneath the surface. Xena remembered Gabrielle's excitement at catching her first fish with her hands just before they were interrupted by that crazy group of zealots. "I did it!" That day Xena had been careful to keep her eyes to herself. She had long before noticed the bard's body, and all it's young, firm curves. She had seen Gabrielle in different states of undress before; when traveling with someone with only nature for privacy, you're bound to see each other, and often. Even so, it was lately that the warrior princess was being so thoroughly affected by Gabrielle.

Xena licked the excess berry juice from her fingers, and walked on, her feet leading the way, her mind lost in thought and memory. A wicked smile crossed her lips with the effort. She turned left into a small clearing in the dense foliage. Xena looked up from her reverie to find herself face to face with the lake, and a lone figure splashing in the depths. Involuntarily she quickly stepped back into the shadows of the stand of trees on either side that served as a sort of arch of shadow. For some reason she did not want Gabrielle to see her. She leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree, pouch full of berries forgotten. Gabrielle was an impressive figure as her sleek, well-muscled body glided gracefully through the still water. She would stop from time to time in water that reached just to the top of her breasts, her beautiful shoulders above water, her hands slicking her reddish-gold hair back from her eyes. She would survey her surroundings for a moment, perhaps looking for Xena?, before plunging into the cool water again. Xena sat down. The hill where the trees grew was about a four foot slope up from the water, so Xena had a bird's-eye view. She knew she was not exactly well hidden. If Gabrielle looked hard enough she would see her. Xena didn't care. She was enjoying the view too much to care.

Gabrielle pulled herself along with her powerful arms, her legs kicking freely. Such a wonderful feeling to be so free, she thought as she surfaced once more. The only thing missing was Xena. Gabrielle rubbed the water from her eyes as something dark caught her eye. She sucked in her breath in surprise, then let it out slowly with a twinkle in her emerald green eyes. Xena. The warrior was sitting in a stand of trees. From this distance Gabrielle could see the look on Xena's face, one of complete and total lust. For her, as she hoped? For the past few months she had been trying to get Xena's attention. Just when she thought she had it, Xena would disappear into the trees around camp to do a "security check", and come back an hour or so later totally oblivious to Gabrielle, and looking content. It was thoroughly frustrating, especially since Gabrielle knew exactly why Xena went on her nocturnal walks. Gabrielle wanted to scream out at her that there was absolutely no reason for that when she was right there, waiting for and wanting Xena! She knew the warrior was afraid of hurting her or scaring her. All of this fear was completely unnecessary. Gabrielle had given her and Xena's relationship a lot of thought, and knew that she wanted it to go much further. She loved Xena, and knew she was loved in return; she saw it every time those baby blues swung her way. If Xena would not take her less than subtle hints, then perhaps it was time they had a talk. She smiled to herself as she recalled the newest story that she had been writing in her scrolls last night.

"Aphrodite, eat your heart out." Gabrielle said smugly. She snuck another side glance at Xena, who she knew had no idea that she'd been spotted.

Xena crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knees, attention completely on the lake and the figure in it. Gabrielle broke the surface and ran her hands over her face and through her hair, long laces of water caressing her tanned skin before dropping back down to join the lake. Xena licked her lips, her eyes burning bright, and hot enough to scald Gabrielle where she stood. Gabrielle stood there for a moment as if lost in thought before she looked over to the clearing of trees near Argo where they had parted.

"Come on, Xena! The water feels great!" she hollered. Good. That means that Xena hadn't been spotted in her spying. Xena glanced over Argo's way and noticed a pile of clothing near the bank of the lake; Gabrielle's clothing.

"For the love of Zeus." She whispered to herself. Suddenly it felt as if she weren't in the shade of the trees, but right directly in the rays of the hot day. She licked her lips again which had become dry as parchment. Gabrielle dove back under water only to come up in a more shallow area. Xena's jaw dropped as she stood to her full height in the waist level water, almost jealous of the water that cascaded down her body. In Xena's mind she saw it in slow motion. Gabrielle burst through the calm surface like some water nymph. She stood, eyes closed. Her beautiful, firm breasts glistening in the sunlight, nipples erect.

"I guess the water's cold." Xena mused to herself. Gabrielle swung her head gently forward, whipping her hair with it, then back again. Like a rope of fire her hair flung back to caress her back. Beautiful.

Xena shook her head to clear it. This poetic crap was Gabrielle's bag, not hers. But she was riveted. As the hair flew back so did Gabrielle. Gracefully she fell back into the cool water, letting it envelop her. Xena was on fire. She wanted to run down there and pull her friend out of the water and ravish her right there on the beach. A low groan escaped her throat.

Gabrielle burst from the more shallow water, skinning her knee on a rock as she stood. Quietly she growled at it. Gabrielle threw her head forward to toss her hair like she had seen Xena do with Hower. In her peripheral vision she saw that Xena was hanging on her every move. This little show had her body thrumming. Every inch of her was screaming for Xena's touch, her hands, her tongue, her- SPLASH!! Gabrielle took a mouth full of water as she fell back. These rocks on the bottom are so slippery!, she screamed inwardly. To Tartarus with it! The whole thing was ruined. Under water she turned over and began to swim toward the middle again, spitting out the water and taking a deep breath as she went. She could not bear to see Xena laughing at her.

Droplets of the fruit flavored, tropical drink glistened in the sunlight as they sailed from the hotpink lips of Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, with her eyes shut tight in hilarity at the bards feeble attempts.

"Nice one, writer babe." she grinned to herself as she looked down in disgust. "Ew! She made me spit this sticky stuff on me. Grodie!" she swiped a hand over her bare thigh. With a nimble flick of her fingers, the offensive "sticky stuff" disappeared. She looked up to see Gabrielle swimming right toward her. "Time to show her what seduction is all about." the goddess said with an evil twinkle in her blue eyes. She watched as the bard swam past her.

"Dumb, dumb, dumb." Gabrielle muttered to herself

"Oh, and I should eat my heart out you wanna-be seductress? Puhleez, don't make me laugh."

Gabrielle whipped around to look behind her. Sitting like a queen atop a hotpink floating thingy in a flimsy, light pink...thing, was Aphrodite, Goddess of Love. In her hand was a frosted mug with chunks of fruit impaled on a stick sticking out of it with a strange round disc-shaped thing on top.

"Huh?" she said in surprise, blinking rapidly as she looked into the goddess' face. "You saw that?"

"Duh! Face it, sidekick, you suck. You need a lot of work in that area, and therefor, you need moi."

"In what area, what are you, hey, why." Gabrielle stammered, her anger getting the best of her. Forgetting she was in the middle of a lake, her legs stopped moving as she put her hands on her hips. Suddenly she took in a mouth full of water. "Wha!"

"Whoa, wipeout." the goddess laughed. "Maybe Ares is right. What does Xena see in her anyway?

Xena watched as Gabrielle turned and swam toward the middle of the lake. The bard began to tread water as her attention seemed to be focused on something in front of her. Xena's brows drew in consternation. She saw Gabrielle's lips move as if she were talking to herself. Then suddenly Gabrielle was pulled underwater. Xena jumped to her feet, ready to run in and save her friend.

"Puahw!!!" Gabrielle exclaimed as she spat water out, clinging to Aphrodite's floating thingy. Aphrodite extended a helping hand to the struggling bard as she clambered onto the raft.

"Ew! Do you smell fish?" the goddess said wrinkling her nose.

"Shut up, Aphrodite." Gabrielle said through clenched teeth. She began to cough up more water.

"Hey, Xena is not the only one who knows that mouth to mouth stuff, you know?" Aphrodite said with raised brows and a smile. The bard blushed deeply.

Xena stopped in her tracks as she saw a shimmer of gold light next to her bard, and the goddess of love, herself appeared.

"What in Tartarus is that thing she's sitting on?" Xena asked quietly to herself, her eyes riveted on the two women sitting in the middle of the lake.

Gabrielle looked off toward shore at her friend. Xena met her gaze, and they locked for a moment.

"You two really just need to, like get it on, and get it over with." the beautiful goddess said with a knowing grin. Gabrielle shot two emerald daggers at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." she stammered, suddenly her eyes looking anywhere but at Aphrodite or Xena.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Listen, little one, this act you and the warrior babe are trying to pull off might fool each other, but sweetie, I am the goddess of love, here, and I know desire when I see it." with a splash Aphrodite tossed the frosted mug over her shoulder, and sat up looking deeply into the green eyes of the bard. "Okay, sweets, here's the deal. I will be willing to help you bag the warrior babe if you do your bard thing and tell all the world about the great, and beautiful Aphrodite and how perfectly wonderful I am." Gabrielle opened her eyes wide in surprise and shook her head.

"What do you mean? I am doing just fine, Aphrodite."

"Oh, yeah? So how come you're chilling in the middle of a lake, and Xena is salivating on the shore?"

"Well, because, well,"

"Yeah, I thought so. So is it a deal or not?" Reluctantly Gabrielle nodded.


Quite pleased with herself, Aphrodite claps her well manicured hands together.

"Oh, goodie!" the goddess waves her hand, and the pink raft begins to speed through the water.

"Whoa!" Gabrielle exclaims as she hangs on the edge of the raft for dear life.

Xena stood at the edge of the lake, her eyes transfixed on the pink floating thingy that was quickly making its way to shore. With a high-pitched squeal, the pink floating thingy came to a stop, but the bard didn't

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Gabrielle flew through the air with only the warrior princess to break her flight.

"Oopsy. I guess I don't quite have all the bugs worked out of this thing, yet. Slow before you stop."

"Good idea!" the bard said through clenched teeth as she lifted herself from Xena who lay splayed on the sandy shore.

"Hey, beggars can't be choosers." Aphrodite grinned. "Besides, I said oops. What more do you want? My first born? Later." with a simple wave of her wrist, the goddess and her bright pink floating thingy disappeared in a shimmer of golden light.

Gabrielle looked back down at her friend.

"Sorry." she said with a sheepish grin. She looked down at herself realizing that she is still VERY naked. A slow red burn traveled from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. Xena follows the heat wave as it swells through the bard's body, an easy grin spreading across her full lips. Finally the bard gathers the courage to look into Xena's eyes.

"Soooo, what do we do now?"

"What won't we do." she grins as she places her hand on the back of Gabrielle's neck, and slowly brings her head toward hers................................

The End

alt fic index <> homepage