Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
There are no disclaimers to that story. If same sex mating ruffles your feathers, move along. If you crave explicit sex, move along as well. If you're underage, or live in a state or country where it is forbidden to read that kind of stuff, what are you doing at the Academy in the first place ?
I would like to thank my little bunny toes, for she is my bunny toes and I love her very much. She was also gracious enough to read over the story, bless her kind little heart. Any and all remaining mistakes must be blamed on my superior powers of distraction.
Once upon a time, there lived a little bunny by the name of Teannabun. This bunny had been born to a family of gregarious, loud and Epicurean bunnies. They were not, by far, of any wealth ; but the carrot cake was never lacking and the burrow was warm, and full of laughter and pranks once the holidays would come.
The first years of our little Teannabun had been happy ones, if unremarkable. Our little bunny was maybe a little less outspoken than her brothers and sisters were, but she was no trouble to her parents and did well in school. That is, until the Christmas right after her sixteenth birthday.
She came home from school to find her oldest brother humping his sweetheart in the kitchen as the cookies cooked in the oven. Now, our little bunny was no prude, and shed heard about humping at school, although she never paid much attention to that particular activity. But suddenly, she was seeing it in a whole new light, and humping started to appear like a very enjoyable activity to our little Teannabun.
The following day, she stopped by the florist on her way to school, and spent a good part of her allowance on a beautiful heart-shaped carrot, all wrapped up in pretty paper, that she tried to hide in her bookbag, only it wouldnt fit and the tip was poking out, quite unmistakable in its form. She got much ribbing once she got to school, but she was a rabbit on a mission. She tuned out the laughter and the questions about what lucky studbunny she suddenly had her sights on and spent all day looking out for the sole object of her desire. Then, blushing, she took out the carrot heart and handed it, with a cute, shy little smile, to Roxanne. And with a trembling voice, she said "will you come with me to Mr. Roberts field?" for this was the field where little bunnies went to make out and mate, although they always told their parents they were studying at the nearby library.
Roxanne stared at Teannabun for a second like she was insane, then threw the heart shaped carrot in her face, urging her to never come close to her ever again if it was to pull that kind of idiotic prank, when it wasnt even April Fools day.
It took our little bunny a few minutes to move from the spot she was suddenly rooted to [in?]. An ominous silence had descended upon the hallway and the glances she got were both more inquisitive and less friendly than ever before. The air was vibrating with muted "Id always thought she was a bit weird", "do you hear what I hear?" and "the nerve! Im telling you" as Teannabun did a rapid rewind of her very brief venture into the humping pool. Shed brought a gift, which she thought had been romantic enough ; shed invited her to a public, popular venue very suitable for first dates. So what the heck had happened?
She walked home still puzzling over the reasons for her rebuttal. Shed been certain Roxanne liked her!! She was always borrowing her geometry notes and asking her over for tea. Teannabun resolved to ask her older brother for tips as to the proper way of asking someone out. Clearly, she wasnt as smooth as shed hoped shed be.
She did her homework and proceeded to set the table as usual, when it became clear that her brother was out for the night. Dinner was its usual loud, merry affair when her father addressed her :
Our little bunny could only blush and nod.
Her mom joined the inquisition.
Still blushing, Tean was trying to come up with a graceful way to exit the table, when she heard herself blurt :
when she was interrupted by her baby sister, Leyla, piping up :
They immediately were on her like flies on honey to get the scoop. Her family had no subtlety or tact whatsoever. Why not call the little drummer boy while they were at it? Who cared that she might consider it a private matter, especially after the disaster it had been? She was sitting there sulking when again that ominous silence descended upon the table and Teannabuns father demanded gravely, in a voice that was not quite his :
Our little rabbit could only nod miserably, and painfully articulate, in a voice that was trembling with unshed tears :
And she ran to her room, the weight of the eerily silent night upon her shoulders.
The next morning, when Teannabun woke up, an ocean of white powder was covering the earth, and she was quick to come back inside the warmth of the burrow after relieving herself. It was still snowing ; the ordinary buzz of the city was muted, and everything was pure and white. And yet, everything was subtly but unmistakably different. Where the air had crackled with nervous energy the night before, it seemed now heavy with unspoken secrets.
Our little bunny made her way to the kitchen for breakfast and was greeted, again, by the sound of muted conversation. She heard her mom say "oh! what are we going to do!", and the deeper tones of her father answering something which sounded like "Shes just confused, Josephine. Shell grow out of it. Let it snow." Teannabun would have smiled at her fathers signature propensity to be esoteric if not totally obtuse, if she hadnt gotten the feeling that she was the one they were talking about. What she was supposed to be confused bout, though, was anyones guess. She seriously doubted her parents were that concerned by her apparent inability to ask a bunny out.
The carrot sauce heavy on her little stomach, our little bunny headed to school where she had a miserable day. Roxanne wouldnt look at her ; worse, she made a show of ostensibly turning her head around when Teannabun had to pass by her. She tried to immerse herself in her classes, but Pr. Umpertoads math lesson was just too tedious for anyone to get absorbed in. She spent her leisure time looking longingly at the snowman in progress by the window, prohibited that she was from going outside by the remnants of a nasty cold, feeling alienated from her classmates like never before. That humping business didnt seem that much fun after all. She understood that going out of her way to solicit a humping partner was supposed to be a challenge, but did it have to be that hard ? and shouldnt the trouble be rewarded in the end? Those where the thoughts she was still entertaining when she made her way home from school.
When she got there, she immediately spotted her brothers helmet by the burrow entrance. Her spirits lifted and it was a much happier bunny who made her way into the kitchen for the 5 o' clock tea. But she stopped cold when she reached the threshold: her entire family had gathered in the living room, and worse, they all looked like somebody died. Had Grandma got run over by a reindeer? Her spirits now shot, her soul unsettled, Teannabun sat down silently in the chair closest to the door, seemingly left empty for her. And anxiously awaited the bad news.
Her father spoke first, and when he did, he was graver than the day before, and the silence around him was as pure as the snow outside. His words, though, were the oddest Teannabun could have ever thought of in those circumstances:
Our little bunny was totally bewildered. Wasnt she supposed to mate like her brothers and sisters ? Her sister had been barely fourteen when shed started humping! And at least Teannabun had never done it on her own and in public with a carrot! Had her asking out sucked so bad that she was forbidden to do it ever again? What was she supposed to do, wait around until someone wanted to hump her ?
Worried by the look of utter surprise on Teans face, who actually looked a lot like she was going to choke on her own saliva, her mom jumped in :
This was getting ridiculous. Of course she knew she was a girl bunny! She didnt have that hideous thingy hanging down between her legs. Which was just as well. That stuff was only good for getting stuck in the bushes.
Her mom went on :
Our little bunnys mouth was now hanging open. Boy bunnies? Humping them? Boy bunnies??? Ewwwww!!!!! It got out before she could censor herself :
Around the room, reactions were varied. Some were shaking their head and muttering about stubborn little bunnies. Some were biting their nails out of boredom. Teannabuns sister was looking relieved that it was finally her sisters turn to get in trouble. Her father looked like he had aged considerably since the previous evening.
And she was. Very confused indeed. Why, it made no sense! She didnt want to do any humping with boys! Girls were cute and they smelled good and their bunny lips were mesmerizing. Boys well they were boys. Not much else could be said about them.
Finally, a word made its way to Teannabuns lips.
It was looking gloomier by the second. Not only was she supposed to hump boy bunnies, but she was also supposed to spend her life with one? Like HELL!! She thought again, the frown on her cute little bunny face deepening by the second.
There had to be an explanation to all that nonsense. She decided to ask for details :
At this innocent enough question, the silence became heavier than ever. Teannabuns mom and dad looked at each other worriedly, until Teannabuns mom took a deep breath and said :
Again, the question was met by a meaningful silence. Her dad took over :
She was now feeling like a scratched record.
Oh yeah, thought Teannabun sarcastically on her way up the stairs. That certainly explained a lot.
She did homework until she was bored out of her mind that evening, to the sound of the silver bells being hung in the burrow as per tradition every white Christmas. She suddenly wished it had been a blue Christmas instead, one with fragrant mistletoe on the doors and windows, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
That led to a little nostalgia of the times shared only the year before with her brothers and sisters, her older brother teaching her to roast the nuts without burning her fingers. He had been so helpful then. Theyd snuck up on the housetop nearby when the night fell and watched the sun set. It had been a perfect moment. Why wasnt he forthcoming with any advice now? Certainly there was someone who could help her? Then it hit her. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer!! He was he wisest person she knew, and his intelligence was legendary. He would know he would explain.
So over the river and through the woods she went, hoping to find him before he went to bed. For this reindeer was an early riser. She had to be quiet and careful not to be seen when she left the burrow, but once she was out in the open, the country still and snowed in around her, she found it was more settling than staying in her room and roaming it in circles.
After a forty minutes walk in the winter wonderland, she finally found him telling a story to his young. She waited patiently by the fire as he finished the story of the first noel. She felt both a little anxious, and exhilarated. But finally, the young went to bed, and she was left alone with the aging reindeer, to the sound of the crackling fire. And she realized she didnt know where to start. But eventually, the words came out, some in a tumble, some in a jumble, some softly, others with thunder in them. Little by little, she lay her incomprehension and hurt before him, until there was nothing left to tell and she was facing his serious and pensive face. He was quieter than usual ; and when he started telling her that maybe she was confused and those feelings might go away, she thought shed turn back into the cold and go home.
But, his voice growing softer still, he went on to tell her that hed heard about animals mating with their own gender, but that they werent seen around there when they found out about their peculiarity, they would move into the city in the hopes of finding others like them. For it was a tough and lonely path to walk, and one had to be certain they had the courage and strength to walk it. He told her about her parents, and the simple life they led, and how faithful they had always been to what theyd been taught. He deemed them as good people who would probably never be able to understand her, if indeed it turned out to be her path. He urged her to have the patience to know herself, and sent her home with words she would hopefully remember a long time after his own time came :
Christmas came and went. A bunny boy was invited home to be Teannabuns cavalier for the New Year dance. When midnight struck and the lights were dimmed, he tried to kiss her little bunny nose in a corner. She slapped him.
Another family gathering was called upon to discuss her confusion. It was again asserted that it was normal to be confused at her age. To which, miserable, she replied :
She wondered how it was that people thought they could tell her how she felt and that shed grow out of it, if theyd never feel anything like it. By then, she was starting to get more than a little pissed to get "its wrong!" as the sole explanation to why she shouldnt be like she was. She got grounded. She stopped caring.
Seasons came and went. She graduated high school at the top of her class. She went to college in the biggest town she could find. She met other female bunnies interested in humping with girls, only they seemed to think that was enough to bond over, when Teannabun did not. She did maybe even better in school. She came home for the holidays. Then, because she hadnt grown out of it, and she couldnt bear the silence anymore, she stopped coming home.
Eventually, before she left college, she met a couple of bunny women she liked enough to have feelings for. She found out that humping girl bunnies was even more fun than she thought, and decided it had well been worth the wait. Then, because she didnt know what she wanted out a relationship well enough, she found herself single without being all that sorry about it.
She left college and started a career as an editor of childrens books. She went on dates stopped going on dates dated again. She learned how to cook to impress women. Then, one day, she received a manuscript about ordinary girl bunnies falling in love. She fell in love with the words. Then, a few months later, at a cocktail party, she heard those words again, and this time she fell in love with the person uttering them.
All of her dreams finally concretized. But this part, however beautiful, is a totally different story.
Songs used :
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling towards ecstasy
Sting - Roxanne
Eric Clapton - Leyla
Chris Rea - Josephine
3-Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire
5-Do You Hear What I Hear?
6-The First Noel
7-Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
8-Home For the Holidays
13-Let It Snow
14-Little Drummer Boy
15-Over The River And Through The Woods
17-Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
23-Up On the Housetop