Home for Christmas

by IE


Jen turned away from the window and watched her sleeping lover for a moment.

"Sandy, you awake?"

There was no answer.

A little louder, "Sandy, you awake".

A grunt, a groan and a head appeared. Frowning, blinking and looking like nothing so much as a newly hatched bird. A very annoyed newly hatched bird.

"I am now".

"Sorry. Are you in a good mood"?

Sandy blinked again a few times.

"Huh? What? Oh! If you want sex, then yes I’m in a good mood but bring coffee first!"

"No, er, it’s not that. You know how much I love you — right?"

Sandy stopped smiling, sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh God! What have you done now!"

Jen scuffed her feet on the floor before moving to sit beside Sandy on the


"My mother rang last night…"

Sandy groaned and fell back dramatically.

"….she wanted to know what we were doing on the holiday….".

Sandy groaned again.

"……I told her I’ll be home for Christmas".

"You what! What happened to our nice romantic getaway! Our trip to America.

The trip that was supposed to be a fairytale of New York!"

"I’m sorry, babe, I really am"

Jen ran her hand through her short, dark hair.

"You know how she gets to me though. Makes me guilty. All alone at

Christmas. The she sniffs and talks about what a blue Christmas she’ll have

by herself. Mama said I could bring you" Jen finished hopefully.

"Oh joy!"

Sandy was working up to a full sarcastic explosion, Jen could tell.

"Just how I wanted to spend my time with you. Not making love. Not

marvelling at the skyline of New York and enjoying a white Christmas

in snow-covered New England. No. Sitting in some winter wonderland in

deepest Hendon, praying for a silent night which I won’t get as we’re right

underneath the main flight-path at Heathrow airport. Whilst your dear mama

asks about me being Hindi and celebrating Christian festivals. Enquires about

my parents even though she knows they disowned me for being gay. And

quaintly asking in ‘my country’ do they know it’s Christmas! No matter how

many times I tell her I was born in Bradford!"

Sandy was building up a real head of steam now. She’d leapt from the bed

and was pacing up and down in front of the window. Completely forgetting she

was naked. For a moment Jen lost track of what her partner was saying as

she admired anew the beauty of the woman.

‘What did I do to deserve her’, she thought.

Suddenly becoming aware that Sandy was quiet, Jen blushed.

"Were you listening?"

"Erm, no. I got lost in admiring you" Jen confessed.

"Don’t think you can sweet talk me into agreeing to going home for the

holidays." Sandy was practically snarling now.

Jen blushed again and stared at her feet.

"It’s not just the holiday", she mumbled, "it’s the whole of the twelve days of

Christmas, right up to Epiphany."

Sandy didn’t say anything. This was a really, really bad sign. She just turned

on her heel and walked to the bathroom.

Jen lay back and covered her face with her arm.

"Damn! I fucked up royally this time. I should have brought coffee."

"No, love", came the voice from the bathroom door, "you should have asked".

"I know mama’s a pain…" Jen started.

"It’s not that, love. It’s the whole thing. I hate sleeping in a single bed in your

mother’s spare room. I hate being called your ‘little ethnic friend’. You’re 32

years old, Jennifer. We’ve been together for 8 years, but when we go to your

mother you act like a 15 year old virgin. I want to wake up with you on

Christmas morning. I want to hold you and make love with you. Damn it.

All I want for Christmas is you — but I can’t have that at your mother’s house."

"Oh, babe! I really am sorry. I’ll fix it, I promise"

"How? If you cancel now she really will pile on the guilt. I want to be with you.

I want to be with you as your lover, not your little friend. You are my family

Jen. I don’t even know if my parents are still alive. My brother said he will kill

me if I ever try to contact any of them ever again. My baby sister could be

married by now. I could be an aunt. I have no-one to spend Diwali with who

understands what it means. No-one who can even pronounce my full name.

Oh love. I know you try, but it’s not as real to you as it is me. All I have is you.

And your mother takes that away."

Sandy was crying now. Jen wrapped the smaller woman in her arms and

rocked her gently.

"I’m so sorry, babe. I love you. I will talk to my mother. If I can’t make her

understand we won’t go. I swear."

"Hey, if you keep crying like that you’ll end up looking like Rudolph the red-

nosed reindeer", Jen teased softly.

Sandy sniffed. "God. I think I must be pmsing or something."

"No, babe, you’re right to be mad at me. I keep putting it off. I should

have done it long ago."

Sandy glanced out of the window.

"Ok. We’ll go. But you’re driving! It’s started snowing!"

"Let it snow, I don’t care", Jen said gently nuzzling Sandy’s neck. "I really

love Christmas you know, when I was a kid I used to say I wish it could be

Christmas every day. I love the songs, putting up the tree, the smell

of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, shouting merry Christmas everybody at

midnight. The whole stupid package. I realise how much it must mean to you,

that you can’t be with your family at your festivals….. C’mon lets get breakfast

and I’ll call mama".

Three hours later, they’d finished putting up the tree. They’d hung the rows of

silver bells they’d bought especially for it, up on the housetop. They’d even

been for a walk over the river and through the woods down to The Little

Drummer Boy pub to have lunch. It was time.

Holding tightly to her lover’s hand, heart beating at twice the speed of sound,

Jen waited for her mother to pick up the phone.

"Mama, hi. It’s about tomorrow. No, I’m still com…We’re still coming. But

there’s something I need to tell you. Sandy isn’t my friend Mama, she’s my

partner. My lover. Mama…. I’m gay."

Jen was silent for a long time.

She hung up the phone without saying another word and turned to Sandy,

tears in her eyes.

"Oh, love…" Sandy began.

"No", Jen stopped her, "She knew. She said it was about time I let you make

me an honest woman. She’s making up a double for us. She said ‘Welcome

to the family’."

Sandy swept Jen off her feet and into a passionate kiss. Falling backwards

onto the sofa.

"Now about that sex I promised you this morning…..".


Holiday (Madonna)

I’ll be Home for Christmas (Connie Francis)

Fairytale of New York (The Pogues)

Blue Christmas LIST #2

Mama Said (Dusty Springfield)

White Christmas LIST #24

Winter Wonderland LIST #25

Silent Night LIST #20

Do They Know It’s Christmas (Band Aid)

Home for the Holidays LIST #8

The 12 Days of Christmas LIST #22

All I Want for Christmas Is You LIST #1

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer LIST #17

Let It Snow LIST #13

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day (Wizzard)

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire LIST #3

Merry Christmas Everybody (Slade)

Silver Bells LIST #21

Up on the Housetop LIST #23

Over the River and Through the Woods LIST #15

The Little Drummer Boy LIST 14


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