Doggie Door Redux

by nyrdgyrl

Disclaimer: No disclaimers are necessary because these characters belong to me. This piece of fluff is a follow-up to my story Doggie Door Follies. It might make more sense if you read that first.

Comments appreciated at

Copyright 2003 © by nyrdgyrl

When Iris, our dispatcher, sent the volunteer fire department on a rescue, imminent delivery call I never imagined my dream lover would be there waiting for me. I’d been sleeping single since I’d left Sandy and the Army within the same week, and pickings were slim in my little town. Ordinarily an imminent delivery was the last call I’d go on voluntarily, but my curiosity got the better of me so off I went. Besides, my evil twin brother Joe was on duty and I wanted to see him in action.

When I checked my call screen, I realized the address belonged to Keisha Simon, more commonly known as simple simon to the local emergency responders. Personally I think she watched too many episodes of the X-Files. I realize that an overdose of Mulder and Scully, especially Scully, could scramble any sane person’s brains, but Keisha acted like this was Area 57, not Greenwood, Arkansas. The woman had money but no sense and when she was in town she was one of our frequent flyers. If Keisha was involved, this rescue should prove to be very interesting.

The last time she’d called, the fire department had to go up on the housetop to free a flying squirrel from the netting she’d set up to trap aliens before they infiltrated her home. Initially she’d covered her roof in aluminum hoping to deflect any extra-terrestrial rays. It was so bright the local airport filed a complaint with the FAA and she had to settle for trapping aliens. Last Christmas she called to say her Gradma got run over by a reindeer. Poor old woman was knocked on her butt when she got between Keisha and what she thought was a red eyed alien. Turned out the alien was just Bambi, but Keisha was too worked up to recognize that. Her Grandma was rumpled but otherwise intact and invited the rescue crew in for eggnog and fruitcake. We, of course, declined. Who knew what you’d find in a fruitcake at Keisha’s house?

The trauma squad arrived first and when I got there they were trying to get past J. Edgar, Keisha’s supposed watch dog. The only thing that dog liked to watch was his snout diving into the nearest available female crotch. His namesake, J. Edgar Hoover, might have been a cross-dresser, but the dog was strictly into women. Preferably menstruating women. I made a point of staying away from Keisha’s house whenever J. Edgar was on site and it was my time of the month.

Joe and his partner Mary, yeah, I know, but what can I say? Anyway, they were having a really tough time getting around J. Edgar so I picked up my pace to help out. I stumbled to a halt when my eyes fell on the most bodacious butt I’d seen since the last time J. Lo shimmied across my dreamscape. It was muscled. It was round. It was…wedged in a doggie door. I knew this would be a good call.

My brother finally made it in the house with Mary close on his heels. An ungodly racket was being raised, but the butt I could see was too still to produce such a noise. I hate to run, twenty years of PT will do that to a person, but my interest in what was attached to that big ole butt spurred me on.

J. Edgar was going nuts running between the doorway and whatever my brother was crouched over and Mary wrestled him out of the way leaving me to deal with the other end of whoever was stuck in the door. It was a woman. A beautiful, vomit smeared woman who looked like the little drummer boy was merrily ringing his silver bells inside her skull.

I’m also a trained EMT and it looked like Joe and Mary had their hands full with the lady on the floor. She was in her final birth throes and I made sure to keep my back turned so that I could maintain some dignity. Last time I saw a birthing, I almost puked and Joe still hasn’t stopped dissin’ me about that. At least I’m better looking and I’ve always had more luck with the ladies. I was hoping lady luck would smile on me as I looked down on the woman wedged in the door. She sure was a hottie and if the discrete rainbow that graced her t-shirt covered breasts was any indication, she was family. After I cleaned her face and applied a little oxygen to clear her head, I called in to hustle the volunteers up then sat back on my heels to study her face.

I glanced back to check on their progress and Joe was crouched at the delivery end while Mary extracted names from the talking end. Tamara and Jesse. I sure hoped these strangers weren’t a couple ‘cause I really wanted to get to know this woman. Plus, I was curious about how she ended up in the dog door.

Jesse was dazed but seemed fascinated by what was going on in front of her. I couldn’t watch so I checked the cabin out, looking at anything but the live birth going on not ten feet away. I’d noticed dents on either side of her nose so I looked around for glasses, carefully turning about so that I could find them with something other than my feet. They were lying a few feet away from the door, but I couldn’t give them to her until Tamara finished her business. There was no way I was gonna give my brother any more ammo.

The baby arrived in short order and Joe made a point of letting me know. His smirk raked my hunched shoulders and when Jesse mumbled something behind her mask he said, "Don’t worry, you’re in good hands." We were finally alone. Now what?



The love of my life, my heart, my angel called out, "What’s going on in there?"

I turned away from my company to answer my sweet, "Just telling how we met, angel. Wendy hasn’t heard the story yet. My home girl Gloria had brought her new woman over and we’d been tale tellin’ and sippin’ gin and juice while Jesse wrapped presents in handmade pretty paper. Since we’d met we’d spent most of our time at my house so to be fair tomorrow we’d head off to Little Rock to go to Jesse’s home for the holidays. Her sister, husband and kids would be there and my six brothers and their wives, kids, and significant others were going too. We were hoping to make it a family tradition. The only thing that would make this holiday more special would be if it turned out to be a white Christmas. That hadn’t happened since I was in diapers. Statistically the odds were getting better, but chances were still slim because it was shirtsleeve weather and Christmas was only two days away.

Jesse stuck her head into the room and knuckled her glasses up her nose. She was so cute when she got flustered and the doggie door saga was one of her self-confessed most embarrassing moments. I saw it differently because it was the day I met my true love. The long silent night I’d spent watching over her cemented my devotion, but I didn’t get to act on it until weeks later.

The conversation lagged until Jesse crossed the room and looped loving arms around my neck. She knew I was putty in her hands anyway, but when she snugged her nose into the crook of my shoulder, my face stretched into a stupid grin. I couldn’t think straight when she was close.

Jesse spoke and my skin nearest her lips prickled to attention. "Can’t you talk about something else, honey? You know how embarrassing that story is." My favorite chair was large enough for two so Jesse pressed her advantage and draped herself across my lap. She sighed dramatically then snuggled into my arms. God I loved this woman! Out of the corner of my eye I watched Gloria swallow a smile. She knew I was whipped and I knew it would be a blue Christmas if I didn’t shut my mouth and move on.

"So…how ‘bout those Razorbacks? They had a pretty good season this year, didn’t they? Jesse was a UA alum so I knew this was a safer topic. "It’s a shame they didn’t get a bowl game bid."

Rather than cut me a break, Gloria laughed out loud then raised a hand to her ear. "Do you hear what I hear?"

I scowled, knowing what came next. "Back off, Gloria. Don’t even go there."

Ignoring my warning she warbled, "I hear the sound of a ball and chain." Gloria turned to Wendy for backup. "Can you hear it, honey?"

Obviously Wendy didn’t know me well because the next words out of her mouth almost made my head spin off. "I think it’s sweet."

"Sweet? Sweet! I’ll show you sweet." Nobody called me sweet. Forgetting my love was on my lap I lurched forward and fixed my cop stare on Wendy’s face. She shrank back and turned wide eyes towards her lover. Gloria knew that sweet was one word that should never be used to describe me. The last time she’d said it we’d been twelve and she told our sixth grade class that I was "sweet" on Miss Haskell. Of course we ended up with matching shiners, but it was a tussle she didn’t want to re-experience. I’m a lot bigger now.

Jesse said, "Calm down, angel. I think you’re sweet too."

Sweet. When Jesse said I was sweet it made my insides go all gooey. Heedless of our company, I captured her face between my hands and pressed our lips together. She wound her fingers in the short hairs at the base of my neck and before long we were locked in a heated kiss that didn’t break until we heard the back door click shut.

"They left." Jesse leaned away so she could see my face clearly then wiped a bit of her lipstick off the corner of my mouth.

"Yeah," I said. "Good riddance."

"Now, Cady. You know you don’t mean that. You and Gloria are really tight."

I grumbled, "You’re right, Baby. I just hate-"

Jesse pressed her fingertips to my lips, sealing them against my complaint. "It’s Christmastime, be nice."

I decided to take her request to heart and stumbled to my feet with her clasped against my chest. She whooped in surprise then threw her arms around my neck.

"Just like old times, eh baby?" I bounced a leg settling her weight more firmly against my chest then staggered down the hallway towards our bedroom.

She protested, "The lights."

"Leave them."

"The tree."

"Leave it."

"The…" I dropped her on our bed and she bounced once before I was on her like a shortstop on a sharply hit grounder. Like a runner scampering for second base, like a…. Well, you catch my drift. We rolled around on that bed naked and sweaty until dawn light flickered across our skin and then we rolled some more. We’d still be there if the lube hadn’t run out. Christmas morning I found some in my stocking.

The End

Happy Holidays! Thanks for reading.

Iris — The Goo Goo Dolls

Fire — Red Hot Chili Peppers

Rescue — Eve 6

Dream Lover — Bobby Darin

Sleeping Single - Roxette

Sandy — John Travolta

Army — Ben Folds Five

My Little Town — Simon & Garfunkel

Last Call — The Alkaholiks

Curiosity — Nicole

My Evil Twin — They Might Be Giants

Brother — Alice in Chains

Joe — The Cranberries

Action — Blink 182

Simon — Lifehouse

Simple Simon - INXS

Emergency — Kool & the Gang

Overdose — Twista

Mulder and Scully - Catatonia

Area — De La Soul

Money — Pink Floyd

No Sense — Candlebox

Rescue — Ashanti

Up on the Housetop — List # 23

Flying — Mya

Aluminum — Barenaked Ladies

Rescue — Painting Daisies

Last Christmas — wham!

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer — List # 7

Old Woman — K’s Choice

Alien — Jefferson Starship

Alien - Pennywise

Bambi — Prince

Trauma — Ayumi Hamasaki

Dog — Dada

Dog - Jhene Featuring Lil’ Fizz

Women — Def Leppard

Women — Primitive Radio Gods

Joe — PJ Harvey

Mary — Sarah McLachlan

My Brother - Mac

In the House — Run D.M.C.

Mary — Sublime

Close — Soul Asylum

Twenty Years — Dwight Yoakam

Big Ole Butt — L.L. Cool J

The Doorway — Spock’s Beard

My Brother — Chubb Rock

Mary — Jefferson Starship

The Door — Silverchair

Woman — Peter and Gordon

Beautiful - Creed

Woman — John Lennon

Little Drummer Boy — List # 14

Silver Bells — List # 21

Luck — AC/DC

Lady Luck — Journey

Smile - Scarface

Hottie - Ashely Ballard

Rainbow — Russ Hamilton

Family — Nas

Oxygen — Closure

Head - Prince

Jesse — Roberta Flack

Strangers — Atomic Kitten

This Woman — Kenny Rogers

Curious — Three Little Women

Jesse — Carly Simon

Ten — Jimmy Eat World

Brother — Ms. Dynamite

Boys — Britney Spears

Hands — Jewel

Love of My Life — The Everly Brothers

Heart — Britney Spears

Angel — Shaggy

What’s Going On — Marvin Gaye

Sweet — 311

Angel — Lionel Richie

Wendy — The Busters

Gloria - Laura Branigan

Gin and Juice — Snoop Doggy Dogg

Pretty Paper — List # 16

Fair — Ben Folds Five

Tomorrow — Brandy

Little Rock — Collin Raye

Home for the Holidays — List # 8

Brothers — John Mellencamp

Kids — Home Grown

Family Tradition — Hank Williams Jr.

White Christmas — List # 24

Christmas — The Who

Days — Train

The Room — Wade Hayes

Moments — Westlife

The Day — My Town

True Love — Patsy Cline

Silent Night — List # 20

Devotion — Earth, Wind & Fire

Conversation — Joni Mitchell

Loving Arms — Dixie Chicks

Hands — Kane

Stupid — Roxette

Grin - Guster

Straight - Veruca Salt

Close — Soul Asylum

Skin — Madonna

Lips — The Beautiful South

Talk — Blue Perna

Honey — Tori Amos

Into My Arms — Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

God — John Lennon

Gloria — Mineral

Swallow — Korn

Smile — Pearl Jam

Blue Christmas — List # 2

Mouth — Bush

Move on — The Union

This Year — Christina Aguilera

It’s a Shame — The Spinners

Game — Too Short

Gloria — U2

Hand — Jars of Clay

Do You Hear What I Hear — List # 5

Gloria — Jewel

Go — Indigo Girls

Warning - Paris

Ball and Chain — Janis Joplin

Gloria — The Doors

Honey — Moby

Spin — Splender

Sweet — Toby Keith

My Love — Lenny Kravitz

Cop — Alkaline Trio

Wide Eyes — Diffuser

Lover — The Supremes

Gloria — Michael W. Smith

One Word — Leah Haywood

Angel — Massive Attack

Company — Dianne Reeves

Captured — Robert Palmer

Locked In — Judas Priest

Kiss — The Art of Noise featuring Tom Jones

Back Door — Xymox

Click — Ultraspank

Lipstick — Guttermouth

Mouth — Merril Bainbridge

Good Riddance — Green Day

Gloria — The Story of Them featuring Van Morrison

Tight — Rah Digga

Hate — Moist

Fingertips — Stevie Wonder

Christmastime — Michael W. Smith

Heart — The Four Aces featuring Al Alberts

Surprise — Luscious Jackson

Dawn — Injected

Morning — Wet Wet Wet

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