Kelly and Brenda Sitting in a Tree…….


Disclaimer: I wish I owned XWP and it’s characters, but I don’t. These, however, are mine. I also don’t own "Beverly Hills 90210", and I’m glad. I will admit I was (and please note the WAS) a geeky fan who used phrases such as "like, no way!" and "Don’t be such a lame-o."

Sex/Violence/Etc: No, nope, and nada.




From the parking lot, if one really looked they could see a soft blue glow reflected in the windows of The Beverly Hills Home for Wayward Girls. Located remotely on a hill overlooking the dark ocean, at this late hour not much traffic occurred on the one road leading to and from the stately building.

The psychiatric ward had only four patients, and two of them were huddled in front of the television in a cocoon of blankets, avidly watching their favorite show. The stench of strawberry BubbleYum and facial creme permeated the medicinal air, and the only sound was the occasional snap of gum and the low hum of the television set. These particular patients were not allowed to watch this show, it was the reason they were both in here, so they had the volume so low they were scarcely able to breathe in fear of missing one word of their beloved program.

It was the second part of a two-part-episode, and tonight they would finally find out if Dylan and Brenda were really going to break up.

Tears streaming down their faces from the sheer anticipation of the hour to come, the theme music to "Beverly Hills 90210" never ceased to cause such a reaction in these two, disturbed, high school seniors.

The girls’ eyes became almost maniacal with anger as the first commercial break came on, and they clenched their blankets, twisting the soft material from the agony of waiting the three minutes and thirty seconds until the program returned.

"What do you think will happen, Brenda?" The small blonde asked her brunette companion, whose name wasn’t really Brenda, but Alexis.

‘Brenda’ turned to her companion, shaking her head grimly. "I don’t know, Kelly."

‘Kelly’ untangled her hand from the confines of the blanket and cupped ‘Brenda’s’ face. The brunette leaned into her touch, greedily absorbing her friends’ affection. "I know you love Dylan with everything you are. You would, like, die without him!" The blonde smiled, continuing, "I know how you feel, it’s the same for me and all the guys I’ve dated. We have to find a way for you and Dylan to be together again."

‘Brenda’ frowned slightly at the thought of Kelly on all her dates. She knew her friend expected her to respond, so she did. "If only his father wasn’t so mean and drunk! Dylan can’t help but act like that." The brunette spoke dramatically, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know. It’s not his fault he smashed his car because he was drinking." The blonde answered vehemently, even though she did not approve of Brenda’s relationship with Dylan, she was fully in support of her best friend.

With twin gasps they turned their attention back to the set as the show began. For the next hour they sat like statues, so enraptured in the true genius of the show and Dylan’s personal struggle with his alcoholism they were unable to speak.

"We have to, like, fix this!" ‘Kelly’ who wouldn’t answer anymore to her birth name of Trish, stated as the girls snuck back to their room. They quietly passed the sleeping form of the on-duty nurse, grateful the cafeteria always served turkey on Thursday afternoons that put out Nurse Jefferies like a light just in time for 90210.

"What can we do?" ‘Brenda’ asked, for she was not nearly as worldly as her adored friend ‘Kelly’.

"We’ll sneak out tonight and drive until we find Dylan. Then we can convince him to stop drinking and you can go back out with him. It had to work, it just like has too!" The blonde quickly rummaged through her things, coming up with a roll of duct tape. "And if he won’t listen, we’ll make him!" The moonlight glinted off her white teeth as she removed a bubble-wrapped package. "I had Steve sneak this in to me the last time he visited, just in case of something like this!" ‘Kelly’ stated, tearing off the bubble wrap to reveal a knife.

‘Brenda’ gulped with surprise, knowing the person ‘Kelly’ thought of as Steve was really an orderly who had a serious crush on the blonde. "Where did he get that?"

The blonde shrugged, putting the dive knife back in its protective wrapping and into her denim bag covered with buttons. "He’s like is a scuba person, or whatever."

Shaking her head, ‘Brenda’ sighed dramatically. "Kelly, I’m not sure about this. Maybe Dylan just needs time." The brunette argued, knowing her blonde friend had a habit of leading them into serious trouble, like the time the blonde told everyone at school she was only ‘Brenda’s’ friend because she felt sorry for her. That hurt. Luckily, the brunette could forgive her popular friend for just about anything.

"Don’t be such a lame-o, Brenda." The blonde answered back nastily. "I’m only doing this because you’re my best friend. I don’t care if you get back with Dylan or not." She commented haughtily as she changed into her stonewashed jeans, carefully pegging the cuffs. She put on her neon pink and green slouch socks and tied the laces of her white Keds. "I’m getting out of here, are you coming?"

‘Brenda’ glanced around their small room, wondering what to do. It took a lot not to tell the blonde just how ridiculous she looked it was after 2003. The brunette studied her nails, flicking off the bright red polish. ‘Kelly’ obviously expects her to show concern for Dylan, and so that’s what she must do.

"Think of how Dylan got into his sports car and took off after your fight. You know he’s drinking again and if we don’t stop him he’ll get into another accident. We have to help him, we just have too!" ‘Kelly’ answered, slinging her bag over her shoulder and looking at her brunette friend.

"Okay, let’s go." The brunette answered decisively, her brown contact lensed-eyes glinting in the darkness of the room. "We just have to help Dylan."

The girls were easily able to slip past the dozing Nurse Jefferies and ‘Kelly’ was even daring enough to slip the car keys out of the front pocket of the nurse’s white smock.

"Let’s just walk out of here, no one will see us." The blonde stated confidently, tilting her small chin up in the air and quickly making her way down the stairs.

In no time they were in the parking lot, the security at the home proving to be quite easy to evade. ‘Brenda’ rolled her eyes as her friend dramatically slunk past the offices where the staff watched television or spoke on the phone rather than do their jobs.

"Which car is Nurse Jefferies?" The brunette asked, now quite nervous. "I just know we’re going to get caught."

‘Kelly’ scoffed. "Stop worrying about what your parents will do if they find out. You know they just ground you and give you a lecture about how you’re not as responsible and stuffy as Brandon. He’s so boring."

"You’re right." The brunette mentioned as they walked around the parking lot.

The blonde hit the button on the remote key chain, and a big SUV’s lights flashed. "That’s the car, come on!" She yelled to her cautions friend, grabbing her hand and bolting to the car.

"Do you even know how to drive?" ‘Brenda’ said, putting on her seatbelt.

‘Kelly’ rolled her eyes. "Of course! I drive us to the mall all the time. Now stop being such a baby, Brenda and remember, I’m doing this for you!"

The brunette chose not to answer as ‘Kelly’ put the car into drive and peeled out of the parking lot. Unlike her friend Trish, Alexis wasn’t as caught up in their 90210 fantasy world. She had been a normal teenager, rich as the day is long, but shy and somewhat of a loner. When the beautiful blonde transferred to her high school, Alexis was immediately in love. Unfortunately for her, Trish seemed in love more with herself than anything else and saw Alexis as little more than a friend.

The blonde was as crazy as Alexis was rich, and soon began to believe she was Kelly from the once-popular show, now only seen on FX late nights. It was fitting that Trish decided Alexis was really Brenda, and like the character bestowed upon her, the brunette went along with Trish’s schemes and followed her blindly.

Alexis followed her blonde friend a little too far, and before she knew it, their parents locked them up in the loony bin.

Not that she minded, really. As far as Alexis was concerned, the more time they spent in the nuthouse, the more one-on-one time she could spend with Trish. So Alexis continued to play the game, while secretly trying to clue Trish into the fact that she was madly in love with her.

"Why are you so quiet? Are you, like, worried about Dylan?" Trish asked, turning her big, impossibly blue eyes toward Alexis. The brunette gazed into her friend’s beautiful eyes, her fingers clenched around the seat belt. She really wished Trish would pay attention to the road.

"Yeah, I hope he’s okay." Alexis answered, trying not to roll her eyes. She had no idea where they were going or who Trish thought Dylan even was. All she knew is that they were in deep shit for breaking out of the ward and stealing Nurse Jefferies car, not to mention driving to find ‘Dylan’ and possible assault him with an orderly’s dive knife; but the brunette didn’t mind all that much.

‘Maybe they’ll send us to prison or something, and we could share a cell! That would be great, we’d have nothing to do except stare at each other, and they probably don’t get 90210 reruns there, so Trish’s obsession is sure to fade soon, right?’ Alexis thought.

"Where do you think he is?" The blonde asked as she took a quick turn onto the freeway. "Let’s head south, maybe he went down to that beach he loves be all serious at, you know?"

Alexis thought quickly. "He told me he was going to Mexico."

‘Kelly’s’ head whipped around and they almost cut off a speeding car. "What?"

The brunette hung her head. "He was like running away and stuff, from his problems. Said he needed to get out of the country."

"Well, we have to help him." ‘Kelly’ firmly stated. "And if that means going all the way to crappy Mexico, then we will." She looked over again at her quiet friend. "Remember Brenda, I’m doing this for you! I’m like so dead if my mom finds out!"

Alexis offered her friend a beaming smile. "You’re the best, Kelly."

‘Kelly’ sniffed haughtily. "I know." She paused for a moment, thinking. "Can we drink in Mexico?"

"Sure, we’re old enough. We can probably like rent a house and even live there or something." Alexis thought, purposely not telling Trish that there was no chance in hell Mexican television stations got 90210.

"Cool! I’m so tired of Beverly Hills High. All the guys are so lame." ‘Kelly’ stated, scowling as she pressed her foot down on the gas.

Alexis silently agreed as the SUV sped south, Mexico bound.

Return to the Academy