The Royal Academy of Bards

is proud to present

Bard Challenge (Lucky) #13

Food Puns


Now You're Cookin'

The Challenge is to include as many food items into your story.

Too easy, right?

Well there are a few little technicalities you need to work around…

1)     You can't use the food items in context as food.

For example…calling someone “bananas” as in “insane” is fine. Referring to the color of an item “banana yellow” is not.

Homonyms/Homophones are fine… IE: ”stake” instead of “steak”…”plumb” instead of “plum”…”pair” instead of “pear.”

2)    You can't use the food items as proper names of your characters.

No naming your characters…“Candy” or “Olive” or “Chip” etc…get the idea?

3)    You must include at least one item/reference from each of the 5 food groups.


There are two categories of competition.

Category 1: Most items Used (all entries submitted will be included in this category automatically—in case of a tie, random draw will determine the winner)


Category 2: Best Story (see Roool #3)

ROOOL #1: Entries may be classic X&G, Uber or Original. The choice is yours.

However, writing an X&G story will get you a bonus 5 vote/point head start AND if you also mention a few amazons, you'll get an addition 3 more vote/points (OZ's Prerogative).

ROOOL #2: Participants are limited to only one entry. Participants may write with a partner or solo, the choice is yours.

ROOOL #3: The writing entries will be posted anonymously and voted upon by the readers at large. Please do not use characters that can be readily identified with you. UNLESS…you wish to participate without actually competing. Then feel free. Your entry will be posted with your identifying info on it and will not have a voting link attached. The choice to compete or not to compete is yours. <.g.>

Of course, the prize packets in the Academy Challenges are always really nice. :o).

ROOOL #4: Story length is a maximum of 50 pages, normal margins and minimum of 11 font. (Steph's Prerogative)

ROOOL #5a: Please do not reveal your participation to anyone who has the potential for being a voter…the only exception being…

ROOOL #5b: You may use a beta reader, but please keep the number of beta readers to a reasonable limit…anything more than three will be considered a violation of…

ROOOL #5c: Posting any entry on any other sites or lists (private or public) before the end of the contest is a BIG NO NO.

ROOOL #6: There is no number six.

ROOOL #7: Please do not stuff the ballot box or lobby for votes...we at the Academy have gotten very good at identifying this behavior. We won't publicly embarrass you but we will quietly eliminate you from the contest. The Academy folks are everywhere and know everything…we will find out.

ROOOL #8a:

The "Roools Committee":

Steph (Ms Mighty Munchkin),

Cadryn, Ruth, and I, the great OZ™

reserve the final say on everything and anything concerning this challenge.

It's our sandbox <.Nyah.>

Now unfortunately Roools #8b and #8c had to be added recently because of a

nasty trend that seemed to be developing. Granted it only really applied to a couple of bad bardie types...not you...I mean, most people don't do this to us...but...

ROOOL #8b:

The entries become the property of the Academy and will live forever on the contest page. They become ours…Ours…OURS! Got it? Good.

Do not ask that they be taken down. If you want your contact info removed, we can do that…but the story entry stays. Don't like this Roool…don't enter.

Your submitted entry means that you understand the Academy's position and agree to abide by it. This in no way means we are claiming your characters or rights to your story. They are yours. We are just refusing to remove it from the Academy.

Steph really, really, really hates putting up those "removed from the web" messages on the Challenge pages.

And if da Boss ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Got it? <.g.>

ROOOL #8c:

Please turn in your best copy of your story. In past challenges, as a courtesy, we have allowed revisions so long as they were sent before the deadline. But please don't expect these overachieving Munchkins to recode your story 10 times. Please turn in your best copy of your story the first time. If you want a beta, we can help find you one.


I will acknowledge receipt of it within 24 hours, if I do not…please send it again to or contact me at

Winners (top in each category) will get a personalized tile box specifically designed, by the Academy Artist Munchkins, for this contest and some other items from the Academy Treasure Chest of Goodies.

Any questions…email and I'll do my best to try to explain what was going on in my mind at the time this was written. The answers probably won't be pretty. <.bg.>


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