Pace, pace, pace. Sigh. Turn 180 degrees.
Pace, pace, pace. Sigh. Look out the window then turn and
start all over. This is what my life has evolved to.
Existing. You could hardly call what I’m doing ‘living’.
I’m just moving through each day on auto-pilot, trying to
ignore the emptiness and longing which now define my waking
Oh, my life isn’t horrible. At least not by most standards. I have a decent paying job, a small but comfortable apartment, and people who call me ‘friend’. My social calendar is active and I have my writing to occupy slack time. So why am I so restless?
Growing up I was always in the middle of things in the neighborhood and at school. Good grades, creative, smart, good looks (or so I’ve been told), and lots of guys who wanted to spend time with me. Even in the midst of those hectic, crowded days I felt a bit isolated. Or maybe different is a better word. After all, can one be isolated and surrounded by people at the same time? Hmm. Yes, I think maybe you can.
No matter how much fun we had or how busy I was, there always seemed to be something just out of reach. At first there was no defined image, just a vague awareness around the periphery that I was missing something important…about me….about life. Gradually I became aware that boys held no excitement for me. I also began to sense someone that I was supposed to be with. My friends laughed at me at first. Delusional. That’s the word they used. Then they called me a hopeless romantic.
I began to question if the glimpses I had of this mysterious person were real or my desperate imagination. After all, tall, dark-haired people usually don’t have blue eyes. So is there someone out there for me or am I really going crazy like my friends say.
Suddenly, I stopped pacing and decided it was time to find out. Sitting at my computer I typed out the Personal Ad for a well-known LGBT paper and clicked on the submit button before I could change my mind.
seeks tall brunette. Blue eyes preferred.
Sexy look a plus. Respond to firstname.lastname@example.org
Well, that should leave the options wide open. I just hope I don’t get a bunch of crazy, desperate women responding. Wait a minute. I AM a crazy, desperate woman. Sigh.
Meanwhile, half a world away.
Alex paced the stone veranda of her estate home. She had everything a woman could want. Money. A beautiful home. Highly-prized horses running free across the gentle hills. And respect. Alex was one of the most respected citizens in all of Greece, even if she was a woman she smirked. ‘The boys never knew what hit them. They really thought it was their idea to put me in charge!’
But alas, the wars were over. Peace reigned. And now Alex began to realize that something was not quite right. She couldn’t put a finger on it exactly, but she felt as though a part of her was missing. But how could you miss something when you had everything?
Shaking off her introspective mood, Alex decided to ride into town on her favorite mare, Argo. Riding with her long brunette hair trailing in the wind always gave her satisfaction and a feeling of freedom, almost as if she were flying above the land. The townspeople were now familiar with the strange woman who rode rather than drove. She was greeted by her neighbors as she entered the post office to collect her mail.
Afterwards, Alex allowed herself to indulge her sweet tooth and savored an ice cream cone while watching people in the local park. One particular couple caught her eye. They were an older couple who had obviously been together for years. The closeness they shared could only come through shared adversities yet their love seemed as fresh as newlyweds.
Suddenly, Alex knew what was causing her introspection. She was lonely. For years she had experienced vague moments of sensing a presence in her life that was comforting. Eventually the presence had begun to take form as a woman. A woman with green eyes and light hair. Not only did this woman’s presence bring comfort, it also challenged Alex to be her best as she would spar with her imaginary partner during practice. And Alex was not above a little showing off when the green eyes were on her. Laughter. Laughter was another gift this presence brought. There was far too little laughter in Alex’s life.
On a wild whim, Alex decided to search for her green-eyed charmer. She took out a piece of paper and jotted down a notice to be published in an international LGBT magazine. Before she could chicken out, she quickly looked in the current issue to find the address then mailed the envelope.
brunette searching for green-eyed blonde. Martial art
skills preferred. Please respond to
‘Soulmates.com, huh?’ Alex thought about that. Is that really what she was searching for? She’d read recently on the Human Rights Campaign website that there was a Yiddish word for soulmate. Bashert, b'shert or beshert. Something like that. ‘Is that what I’m looking for? A partner for life? That seems so heavy. I just want someone to spend time with, don’t I? You know, a little fun and help with the chores and cuddling, right?’
Alex sighed and paced once more on her veranda. The ad had been mailed. Too late to cancel now. All she could do was wait.
Ash was getting frustrated. She’d sorted through over 100 responses to her ad so far and none clicked for her. Most were after instant gratification or were in to kinky things. Oh, Ash knew about those things. It just wasn’t her cup of tea. ‘To each their own’ her mother always said. No, Ash was an old-fashioned sort of gal. She believed in a knight in shining armor riding in on a beautiful horse to save her from the common masses and boredom of ordinary life. Someone that could make her feel alive with just one look. Someone that she could spend the rest of her life loving. ‘Loving? Did I really think that? Whoa. That’s a major change in the status quo! ‘
Deciding to look at some of the other ads in the new edition of the magazine, she came across one that sounded interesting. ’ Warrior, huh? I like the sound of that.‘ Ash proceeded to write a response.
SUBJ: Your Ad
I’ve never responded to an ad before so I’m nervous about this. However, I found your listing to be interesting. I am blond-haired with green eyes. I will soon be testing for my black belt. But mostly I’m just a peaceful, ordinary person. An old-fashioned, sentimental gal.
If you are interested in corresponding some, I’d be happy to do so.
Just as she clicked on the send button, a ding alerted her to a new message. Reaching for the delete key, Ash paused as she read the return address…email@example.com. Feeling a chill run up her spine, she decided to check the message after all.
This is awkward for me as I have never responded to an ad before. However, I felt compelled to write to you. You will probably laugh at me but I have this recurring sense of a presence…a comforting presence…which has through the years taken the form of a woman with blond hair and green eyes. I saw your ad and decided to explore whether you might be this woman. I assure you that I am not an axe murderer or any other dangerous person. Perhaps we could correspond to see if friendship might develop between us.
Far away, in the Amazon lands, Ephiny wiggled her eyebrows at her favorite warrior. “If these two don’t figure it out in this lifetime, I’m giving up on them.”
Elsewhere in the Cosmos, a flash of pink mist was heard to say “You go, Gabby girl!” responding to a growling sound behind her, she turned to Ares and said “Give it up, Bro. You lost, big time. And this time you can’t interfere. Haven’t you learned by now that love, not war, conquers hearts? True love is forever!”