AMAZON GAZETTE: As Reported By: Katlena, Scribe of the Amazons
It was a beautiful sunny day in Athens when I had the pleasure
of meeting with Xena, Warrior Princess; The Destroyer of Nations,
Conqueror of the Known World, and her companion of six years,
Gabrielle; Queen of the Amazons, Battling Bard of Potadeia. They
consented to this interview after much pleading, begging, a rousing
game of dinars, and a severe group hangover. I promised to do my
best to protect their privacy, and not ask too many questions that Xena might consider inappropriate.
To this reporters credit, I have met and spoken with Xena and Gabrielle
many times as
a scribe for the Amazon Nation, and have fought back to back with
both of them while protecting the Nation from raiders.
Join me now, for a very open, candid interview, that may or may not
dispel some of the myths that surround the Warrior, the Bard and
their life together.
K: Thank you both for meeting me here today.
X & G: Our pleasure it s a beautiful day for
an interview don t you think?
X: Say Katlena, how are those stitches I put in your...um...back end?
K: Oh, heh, great just great. Healing nicely. Um maybe....can you
pull those stitches later? Theyre really getting to be a pain in the...uh, well you know....
G: (elbowing Xena) Hey now, what s this
making appointments to, um work on someone else s....never
X: (blushing) Oh, heh, Gabrielle, this is strictly healer stuff. You can watch if you want...
K: Yeah, no major....so, most of our reader s have one really huge question on their collective little minds. In deference to our agreement about privacy protection (although this reporter is now
wondering about the definition of privacy...) Im going to avoid that particular question until later. Fair enough?
Both women smiled and nodded their agreement.
K: I m curious...how do you feel about all of the curiosity and conjecture that
follows your every move?
G: It can be rather amazing actually. I mean, let s face it...Xena
is famous after all.
X: So are you Gabrielle.
G: (smiles warmly) heh, anyway....its to be expected that a certain number of
people, fans, friends and foes alike are going to be curious about
our life together, and what it all means. I mean you have to admit
there s been an awful lot of strange, weird, and wonderful things
that weve been through together over the last six years.
Gods, demons, deities....the good times the bad times...stuff that
would kill any normal people, but not us. Were tough, and we...support each other. I mean just this
morning when we were checking in to our room at the inn, and Xena
gave me this little pat....
X: Um, Gabrielle? Now is not the time......
G: Oh, ummm, sorry.
K: Uh, oh hey, so Xena, how do you feel about all of the attention?
X: (mumbling slightly) Well, it s really my business and Gabrielle s and I dont see where
its written anywhere that I have to account for myself in anyway. Except of course to myself, and the...
well-l-l, the families whose lives Ive destroyed....
G: Hon, that was 35 years ago...I think by now we can stop worrying about them.
K: Okay, still atoning....moving right along here...
so, Xena, tell us about Eve. Do you miss her, worry about her?
X: Oh, definitely. I really feel that the God or whomever chose to meddle
with us really did me in. If I ever
required punishment for past indiscretions, well this truly took the
prize. Her "father" is one of my worst enemies, and a woman. I mean I know what it
takes to make a baby, and I know for a fact that I....
G: Let me interrupt here...Xena loves Eve very much. The circumstances of Eves birth, and the subsequent events that followed; God killing, cave freezing, Bitch of Rome. That was all very hard for us to handle.
As is true with all of our experiences it helped to make us stronger, and bring us closer together. But, missing Eves childhood, and now...having to help her atone too, well...that can be very heartbreaking and hard work.
X: (between clenched teeth) Gabrielle, if its that hard, you can always stay with the Amazons...
K: Okay, well, do you think youll see her again? You know, you never can tell when you might die or
X: (Glaring) Realistically? Probably not for a while anyway. Besides,
we don t know where we might end up.
We sort of follow the needs of others.
K: I detect a rather wistful note there. Are you tiring of the life of a hero?
G: Oh, not tiring necessarily, I mean it is our destiny, but well, it would be nice to be able to take a vacation and
relax, I think the closest weve come lately is when we were helping Ares with Xenas old family farm. It was nice to not have to be fighting every minute, but rather being allowed to do some normal things for a while.
K: Are you saying that you feel your life together isnt normal?
X: She didnt say that. We live on the road, different chores, no house to worry about. Not everyone lives that
way. Probably fewer than most. But all we need is each other. To quote a well know Bard, "Xena is my home."
A vacation would be nice though...
K: Whats stopping you? If you live on the road, and really keep to no particular schedule, then why can t you take a vacation? Put it this way...if you could take the time, where would you go? What would you do?
G: I know what I would do...oh, well, seriously, it seems that no matter where we choose, something happens that manages to get in our way. Someone needs saving, a village needs rebuilding. I am partial to the beach though.
X: Yeah, I might be able to do something about that...Maybe we can all talk after the interview? (Xena winked at this reporter).
G: You do? How come you didn t tell me?
X: It was a surprise Gabs. Wait until after the interview, okay? Or before you know it, everyone in the known
world will know where we are...
K: Okay, change of subject. What do you see for your future? Together, separate, married, friends? What if one of you meets someone, and decides to settle down? Forever is a very long time...
X: Hmmm, I think that s pushing the personal privacy pouch, don t you think?
G: It s okay Xena. I mean to say, our lives are destined to be spent together. Katlena, can I have a
moment off record with Xena?
K: Certainly, we arent on any schedule.
(Several minutes and a very fast mug of ale later....)
K: Were back. Xena & Gabrielle have been conferring about that last question I asked. In hindsight, it was incorrect of me to ask this question now, (especially since I had already volunteered for stitch
removal). What follows is a surprise, and an exclusive for this reporter....
G: Thank you for your patience.
K: My pleasure, and thank you both for being patient with me.
(This was followed by a hopeful puppy look at Xena).
X: (a strained look on her face) No problem. I must add that you showed great restraint initially, considering that
you already know the answers without asking the questions.
K: Why do you say that? I mean can you clarify for the readers?
X: (sigh) Okay, for the readers benefit...Youve been present at almost all of our Amazon
encounters, since we came out of the deep freeze.
G: While we appreciate the Amazons discretion, our relationship is much more open when we are in their
company. And for the readers, we consider you a very dear friend of ours, or we wouldnt be speaking to you right now. In essence, we chose you.
K: Okay, so what have you decided? What would you like your readers and more or less the rest of the know world to know?
(At this point Xena and Gabrielle looked to each other for affirmation of their decision. Nodding to each other,
Gabrielle took a deep breath and began her story).
G: Well, you see, it wasnt always like this, but over the years, and what with our destiny and all....
X: What shes trying to say is, it s true. We are unquestionably committed to each other.
Physically, and emotionally.
K: Well, ahem, that s letting the gryphon out of the bag. How do you think this knowledge is going to change how
people perceive you?
G: What we are hoping is that now that there is no more mystery, that people will lose interest in us, and allow us to
live our lives without having to worry about hiding from everyone s prying eyes.
X: It s not like we are prone to Public Displays of Affection anyway.
K: Will that change? The nature of your affections for each other?
G: No. It s not in our nature to be public. Especially not Xena. (chuckle). I m the more touchy-feelie
of the two of us. Ive learned to be more discretionary as compared to when we first
started traveling together. Xena has taught me that there is a time and place for everything. Mostly for our safety, and secondly because it s no ones business what goes on in our bedroll.
K: Just a few more questions, I can see you are anxious to move on. First, was it love at first sight?
G: For me definitely. It was much harder for Xena. Shes a much more closed person, and with her Warlord years, a person would tend to harden themselves to emotion, specifically love. I was bright-eyed and dazzled by her bad girl persona, and yet charmed by an underlying vulnerablility that I could sense from her.
X: As far as I was concerned, Gabrielle was a pest. But as time passed, I could see how wrong I really was. She
helped me learn a lot about myself. Something I will forever be in her debt for.
K: Do you foresee any backlash from your announcement?
X: (Grinning ferally) Nope.
G: (chuckling) Hardly, more than likely a lot of dinars will change hands before it s all over, but
hopefully no one will get hurt.
K: Does this mean forever for you two?
G: Oh yeah!
K: Well, thank you for you time. This about wraps it up. And remember gentle readers, you heard it here first. Enjoy
your vacation Xena and Gabrielle, and I m sure we ll be meeting again real soon....
X: Now, about that butt of yours.........
G: HEY! Not mine, hers.........
K: This reporter is making for the hills folks..........
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