Live from the Forum in Rome - The Truth or Dare Interview


Presenter: Welcome to this week's edition of our 'Truth or Dare Interview' here at the Forum. Our guests today are Xena Warrior Princess and the lovely Battling Bard of Poteidaia, Gabrielle. 


(Xena and Gabrielle are dragged in, both bound at the wrists and squirming to break free. They are both dressed in identical leather bikinis and boots.)


Let's hear it for our esteemed guests!! Look how excited they are. They are so looking forward to the interview.


(Xena gives him a disgusted _look', mirrored by one of Gabrielle.)


And now please welcome our interviewer for tonight · the wonderful and truly exceptional ·Philomena!!!


(Wild cheers from the crowd, calls of 'Philo! Philo!' ring out through the Forum while Philomena enters with a smirk on her face, obviously enjoying herself very much. She's a beautiful woman and she knows it.)


Philomena: (positions herself in front of Xena and Gabrielle and looks them over from head to toe, stopping once at Gabrielle's well-pronounced abs and again at Xena's. She smiles mischievously) I'm soooo looking forward to this interview. (Pause.) Let's see what the night will bring!!


(Applause from the crowd.)


(To the crowd) You all know the rules, but I'll spill them out for our special guests tonight. The interview is called 'Truth or Dare' because when I ask you a question you will be given the choice between answering truthfully or dare doing something I ask you to do. (To Xena and Gabrielle) Do you understand?


(Xena and Gabrielle remain quiet.)


Philomena: (grabs a handful of Gabrielle's hair) Do you understand, Xena?


Xena: Yes.


Philomena: Fine, then let the game begin. You, Xena, will get the first question. Truth or dare?


Xena: D ·


Gabrielle: (interrupts Xena) Wait!!! Excuse me. What happens when we choose dare and can't do it?


Philomena: Oh, did I forget to mention that · Well, if Xena can't or won't do what I dare her to do, you die. If you can't do what I dare you to do, Xena dies. It's as simple as that. But don't worry, I want the interview to last a while · and so does the audience.


Gabrielle: Oh, okay.


Philomena: So, Xe ·


Xena: (interrupts impatiently) Dare!


Philomena: (smiles) I thought so. So · kiss me!


Gabrielle: Eeww · (whispers urgently) Xena you can't just ·


Xena: (smiles and whispers back) Why not, Gabrielle? I'll just close my eyes and think of · someone else. Don't worry, I can do that.


Gabrielle: I know you have to do it, but the next time just choose _Truth', please? For me?


Xena: Oh, alright.


Gabrielle: Thank you. (then mumbles to herself) I just know she's going to think of that Ulysses guy. Oh well ·


Philomena: Come on, Xena, I'm waiting.


(Xena closes in on her and gives her a strictly chaste kiss, just a peck on the mouth.)


Oh, come on Xena, that's not a kiss! I know you can do better! (she rolls her eyes)


Xena: (raises an eyebrow and smiles) You didn't specify what kind of kiss you wanted.


Philomena: (shrugs) Well, Gabrielle, then I have a question for you. Truth or dare?


Gabrielle: Truth.


Philomena: How boring. OK, why did you marry Perdicus?


Gabrielle: Well, I ·


Philomena: By the way, I did mention that I'll take a piece of Xena for every lie, didn't I?


Gabrielle: I wasn't going to lie! I wasn't · (speaks thoughtfully and a little hesitantly) I married Perdicus because he was a good friend and he needed me.


Xena: (glances over at Gabrielle) You didn't ·


Philomena: I'm asking the questions here ... but I can take a hint. (smiles) Gabrielle, did you love him?


Gabrielle: Hey, it's not my turn!


Philomena: But I make the rules and I want to know if you loved Perdicus.


Gabrielle: (barely audible) No · I don't think so.


(Xena gives her a very interested long look but remains quiet.)


Philomena: Xena, were you jealous when Gabrielle married Perdicus? Oh, and you remember · the truth and nothing but the truth or parts of Gabrielle will be missing pretty soon.


Xena: I didn't even choose Truth!


Gabrielle: Please, Xena.


Xena: OK. Yes, I was jealous.


Gabrielle: (surprised) Why?


Philomena: Yeah, why?


Xena: Dare! I definitely choose dare this time!!


Philomena: Tsk, tsk. Not an option, I'm afraid. I want to know the answer.


Xena: (stalling) Somehow this is not following any rules.


Philomena: Oh, but it is. I just make them up along the way · so, answer the question, please.


Xena: (looks at her feet) I thought I was going to lose my best friend, that's why.


Gabrielle: (slightly disappointed) Oh.


Philomena: I get the feeling I should get the knives sharpened · but I let it slide for now. Next question is for Gabrielle. Truth or Dare?


Gabrielle: Dare.


Xena: (alarmed) Gabrielle!!


Gabrielle: What?


Xena: I have to answer these silly questions and you can just choose 'Dare'?


Philomena: At least that makes it interesting. OK, here's what you'll have to do. You will kiss ·


Xena: Oh, come on. Is that all you can think of? That one of us kisses you??


Philomena: (smiles devilishly) Oh, but she's not supposed to kiss me. I want her to kiss you · and this time I will specify what kind of kiss I want. (she grins at Gabrielle) You will kiss Xena the way you think she would kiss a lover.


Gabrielle: (looks baffled) But how am I supposed to know how ·?


Philomena: I thought you were a bard. Let your imagination run free. (Then she whispers directly in Gabrielle's ear) This is a chance ... make something of it.


(Gabrielle looks at Philomena, very surprised. Philomena smiles and winks at her.)


Xena: Come on, Gabrielle. Let's get this over with. I'd like to end this as soon as possible.


Gabrielle: OK. So, I'm going to kiss you now. Do you trust me?


Xena: You know I do.

Gabrielle: Then just follow my lead. And please · don't bite me.


(Xena just nods, and swallows at the look in Gabrielle's eyes. Gabrielle moves very close to Xena and puts her bound hands behind Xena's neck. She pulls Xena down for a kiss. The kiss is just a short fluttering of lips on lips. Xena exhales, obviously relieved. But then Gabrielle pulls her close again, kissing her firmly and more passionately with every passing moment. With an involuntary groan Xena parts her lips and lets Gabrielle's tongue enter her mouth where both their tongues dance joyfully with each other. After what feels like an eternity, Gabrielle slowly pulls back and ends the kiss, in dire need for some breath. Both she and Xena groan at the loss of contact.)


Gabrielle: (trying to catch her breath) By the Gods!


Xena: (stunned) Oh gods, Gabrielle. I didn't mean to · I mean · I didn't · (then very quietly) I just couldn't hold back when you kissed me like that · (looking directly into Gabrielle's green eyes)Why did you kiss me like that?


Gabrielle: Because ·


Philomena: (interrupts, smiling happily) Well, well, well · at least Gabrielle knows how to kiss · but I knew that you could better than that lousy kiss you gave me as well, Xena. But · as much as I'd love to hear the answer to your question, Xena · it's not Gabrielle's turn to answer a question· it's yours. Truth or dare, Xena?


Xena: (thinking for a long moment while still looking into Gabrielle's eyes) I · ahm · I don't · (then mutters to herself) I think it might be time for a little truth, warrior · (loudly) Truth!


Philomena: Nice choice, warrior. Gabrielle, do you have a question for Xena?


Xena: Wait! I thought you asked the questions here?


Philomena: New rule ... Do you really prefer my questions to those of your bard?


Gabrielle: (calmly) Xena, don't worry.


Xena: OK, Gabrielle. Do you have a question for me?


Gabrielle: (takes a deep breath) Yes, I do. (she looks straight into Xena's blue eyes) I just don't know how to ask it ·


Xena: (smiles reassuringly) Just do it, Gabrielle. I can't be that bad, can it?


Gabrielle: You said that you were jealous when I married Perdicus because you thought your best friend. Is that the whole truth, Xena?


Xena: Is that really your question? Seems so. Yes, it is the truth ·


(She looks at Gabrielle who, for a second, looks disappointed and a little hurt.)


· but · it's · not · (in a rush) the whole truth.


Gabrielle: (speaks very quietly as if afraid of the answer) Why were you jealous when I married Perdicus?


Philomena: (looks very content and satisfied with what's going on) You may answer that question now Xena. And this time, it should be the whole truth.


Xena: (hesitates, then takes a deep breath) I was jealous · because · I thought I would never see you again · because I couldn't have seen you again · when I thought about you and ·Perdicus · married · I couldn't bear it. I knew that I could never come visit you because I would have to kill him or myself and that would hurt you · there was nothing I could do · (Philomena looks at her encouragingly and nudges her with an elbow. Xena takes another deep breath.) I ·You · You're more than my best friend, Gabrielle · I · I love you · with all my heart · or what's left of it · I have loved you for a long time now · and I just didn't know what I would do without you when you married · him.


(Gabrielle moves closer to Xena and lifts her chin up with her bound hands. She turns to Philomena and looks questioningly at both their wrists. Philomena smiles and moves her hand in the air. The ropes around their wrists vanish).


Philomena: Ooops.


(Gabrielle and Xena give her a look, but Philomena just smiles. Gabrielle touches Xena's chin again and lifts her head to look into Xena's eyes. She sees vulnerability and uncertainty · and, slowly, trust. She smiles at Xena when she finally looks into Gabrielle's eyes and can see the tears streaming down Gabrielle's face. Gabrielle's eyes only hold love and trust.)


Gabrielle: Xena, that was the most beautiful thing you ever said to me. I've been wanting to hear it for so long now. You know, I love you. I think I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. But I was afraid you'd send me away if you knew. And all I ever wanted was to be with you. I love you.


(Xena looks totally stunned, but slowly begins to smile. She bends her head to kiss Gabrielle. Just when their lips are about to meet Philomena steps up to them and interrupts.)


Philomena: Well, that was about time. What in the name of Zeus took you so long? If it wasn't for me ·

Xena: (suspiciously) Who are you anyway and how did we get here? I can't even remember being attacked.


Gabrielle: (chimes in) Yeah, neither can I. I'd almost bet that ·


With an audible 'Pooof' Philomena, the audience and even the Forum vanish. Gabrielle finds herself in the forest where they had made camp, lying in her bedroll. She notices the warmth beside her and turns around to look into Xena's face. Xena smiles contentedly and cuddles up to Gabrielle. Gabrielle thinks 'What a strange dream!' and cuddles up to Xena again. WAIT! 'We're not sleeping that close · not usually · what's going on here?' She peeks under the fur that covers Xena and notices the leather bikini. She looks at herself and sees the same clothes. The dream comes back to her and she suddenly knows it was more than just a simple dream. 'Time to test that theory, Gabrielle!' She leans down to Xena and starts kissing her, first the eyes, then the forehead, the nose, the cheeks and, at last, the mouth. She notices from Xena's breathing that the warrior is awake. Suddenly Xena kisses her back passionately and two sets of hands start dancing in the moonlight. On the other side of the campfire Philomena smiles contentedly at her boss Aphrodite who nods in silent agreement. They both sigh and vanish into thin air leaving only a night to remember for a warrior and a battling bard.

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