Well folks, that was Merle Haggard and I hope yer enjoyin the classic country show here on WDUM in the heart of Bush country. Later on weve got a little Patsy Cline, Hank Williams and Charlie Rich comin yer way, but right now weve got a surprise interview with a couple of special little gals here in the studio that I think yer gonna like better an bowlful a grits. This is Bubba talkin today with Xena, the Warrior Princess, and Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Potadeia, whos just as cute as a bug on biscuit.
Gabrielle: Thank you Bubba, were glad to be here.
Bubba: Yall might be wonderin how we heard about you two all the way out here in Bush country, where ya cant swing a dead cat without hittin a Baptist church
Xena: Actually, it seems like no matter where we go people seem to know all about us, though sometimes they get some of the facts wrong.
Gabrielle: Hey are you blaming me? I cant help it if people misinterpret my scrolls. I think I do a pretty darn good job of inscribing the essence of our adventures, and its not my fault if people get it wrong.
Xena: Yeah, no doubt those abs of yours could easily deflect a spear
Gabrielle: Now wait a minute. Technically
Bubba: Okay girls, now just settle. It was my 3rd cousin twice removed, Minya, that told me all about yall. That girl just thinks the world of you two and even says youre the ones that inspired her to be a thespian. Yep, were all real proud of Minya. Why, shes strong, and she can read, and you dont find that in too many of the gals around here.
Gabrielle: Did she tell you about the time we fried the giant?
Bubba: No, did ya roll him up in a good beer batter and deep fry him? Thats how we like to fix possum around these parts.
Xena: Uh, no. See, I took a belt buckle and attached it to some flying parchment. I hooked it on the giants pants, and then I waited for Zeus to
Bubba (interrupting): That sounds real interestin, Xena. Now, Gabrielle, I understand youre pretty handy with weapons. Ever been deer huntin?
Gabrielle: Actually, Bubba, I have hunted deer before, and it was part of a ritual I had to perform to save Xenas butt.
Xena: Yeah, and tell him about that killer rabbit that nearly took you out that time.
Gabrielle: You know, Xena, you just cant let some things go, can you?
Bubba: Well its bow season here maybe you could take me out and show me how its done some time. You know, Gabrielle, youre just as cute as a daisy in a Dixie cup do ya have a feller yet?
Gabrielle (giggling): Well, I kind of liked this one guy I met when we were trying to free Celeste, but he died, and then I was married to a king, but he turned out to be dead, and I was married to Perdicus for a day, but Callisto killed him, and then
Bubba: Nevermind. How bout you Xena? I heard you tried to steal Minyas old boyfriend Hower away from her. She said you didnt have a chance though, heh heh. I guess you dont have much luck with the fellers either.
Xena: Yeah, well, Im really not looking for a man. [quietly] I already have found someone who is more than I ever dreamed I could deserve a best friend, soulmate
Gabrielle: Oh Xena, Im sorry I got snippy earlier.
Xena: Oh sweetheart, Im sorry I made that crack about your abs and the rabbit.
Bubba: Well strap me to the side of a pig and roll me in the mud! This is more fun than watchin a June bug on a string.
Bubba: Folks, I think Im gonna put that Patsy Cline on fer ya now
[Fade to music]
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