"You know it hurts so much some times, this love I have for you. I feel as though my chest will explode from the force of it all. Do you ever feel that way too?"
"Gabrielle, I feel it all the time, I feel it now in fact. How could it be otherwise? You know what you mean to me. You always have, you always will".
"Xena, do you think we are going to die here tonight?"
"There is a good chance Gab, do you mind?"
"As long as I am with you...."
There was an explosion outside. The force of it knocked a small whole in the already fragile wall between them and the still raging chaos. Xena flattened her body over the bard trying to shield her from the cascading faÁade. She was struck in the back with some sharp object, she was afraid to find out what.
"You ok Xena?" The bard reached out her hand to push back the sweat soaked auburn hair, working to untangle as much of the debris as possible.
"I'm good, don't worry about me. Lets just try to get this leg stitched up just in case we do make it out of here in one piece. Move across here for me, you can do it, yeah, that's it."
Gabrielle pulled herself across Xena's lap. Xena held her in her arms for the briefest of moments before getting to the task at hand. Pulling out the 'kit' she threaded the needle and set to work.
"Is this suppose to tickle?" Gabrielle grinned and squirmed a bit on Xenas lap.
"Hold still Gab, please, I'm trying to work here. I want this to be a masterpiece we will be able to show our friends and families. We'll say, yup, we didn't think we were going to make it through that night with our skins intact...."
Xena looked down at the woman of her heart, her soul, of her life. Maybe I gave her too many herbs after all. I guess she doesn't feel the pain anyway... Xena pulled the bard closer into an embrace. Her fingers reached to finish the last 30 stitches of the incredible slash and as she tied off her fingers, her hands her arms and then her whole body began to shake. 'By the gods', she thought to herself, how are we ever going to get out of this one....
Holding her bard she closed her eyes and sought to remind herself of better times. There was little else to do right now. The ache in her gut told her none of this was good. She hoped they would be found by friends, give the amazon queen her proper burial rites and she hoped they would allow her the rite so she could be with her beloved... I should write this all down... Xena struggled with her body, willing it to move while twisting her back and causing the embedded fragment to shift painfully. 'Feels like a cork, if I pull it out I wonder if that would be a good thing or a bad'... Xena continued to work any movement out of her weary body that she could. She was unwilling to let loose of the hold she had on her lover. No way! Gabrielle, feeling the shifting efforts, worked to open her eyes...
"Should I move Xena?"
"Never my love, all's well. Just thought I would take a few notes on some things. Go back to sleep Gab..."
"Do you have any regrets? About us, our lives, our travels or our battles?"
"Maybe a few, nothing earth shattering. Maybe I am sorry about Eve and the whole Gods business. I just wish they could have left us all alone. How many things would have been different... I even miss Joxer sometimes, I feel bad about he and Meg. It is what happened to our friends... that really hurts sometimes. My hurting you, that can rip me apart if I let it, though I think we did ok with it in the end, don't you?'
Gabrielle reached out an arm so that her hand could reach and caress Xenas cheek, her arm did not make it. "Yeah, I feel the same."
"Gabrielle, do you know how much I ache inside, how much I love you?"
"Umm, yeah, it sounds familiar... but I am always happy to hear it. You know Xena, this might sound crazy but there is no place I would rather be right now then here, close, together with you. I know that death is near, I can see her flame drawing closer and closer, I think I can even smell the beeswax of her candle as she hovers, but you know, I am not afraid, strange isn't it?"
"You always were my brave battling bard weren't you? Maybe she is just checking us out, not sure what our fate will be. We are still here aren't we, who would have thought we would make it this long?"
"I really love that you are holding me like this. The way your hand circles my skin. The different textures of your palm, the way you slide the side of your hand to fit into all the smaller places. When you do this nothing else exists. I think this might be a good thing Xena, my heart is fluttering and if I think it scares me. Hold me Xena."
Xena pulled Gabrielle into a tighter embrace. Holding fast she said, "Gab, my back is bothering me, I think something is wedged into my leathers, can you pull it out for me if I shift a bit. Just reach around, pull real hard if you can, you will not hurt me".
"Are you sure Xena? Maybe I should look first, maybe you are just numb".
"NO... I'm good, don't worry, it's just bugging me, that's all..."
With that request, Gabrielle reached around with her good arm and pulled the shard from her friends' back.
"You OK?" She asked.
"Yeah, good, better, thanks".
Standing off in the shadows
two misty figures stood. "Why did she do that??!!" the enraged man asked.
"Does she know what she has done?"
"Of course bro, do you think she would let her babe walk that path alone? Xena's no fool, she knows what's ahead for the bard. This is true love, something you still just don't get. Looks like you never will. She is close too, she is just making sure how the cards will play."
"Sis, it doesn't make sense, she could make it through this."
"That's the point bro, she wants to stick with Gabby."
"Chicks!" and the god of war vanished in a puff of energy.
"Yeah, ain't it grand!" and the goddess of love followed.
"Are you still holding me? I can't feel you."
"I'm here love, I've got you. I'll never let you go."
Xena could see a slow smile form on the bards' lips. She took the moment to gently lift the bard, fearing that her strength was draining more quickly then she had expected. She shifted her so that the bard could neither see, nor feel the devastation occurring on her back. Xena looked down at the bard and bending over, a slow smile also forming on her lips asked... "Can you feel this my love?" Xena placed her lips above Gabrielle's and placed a gentle, a loving kiss there.
"No, no Xena, perhaps you should try that again..."
A deeper smile came along with the words.
Again Xena lowered her lips to the bards, this time allowing her hands to cup the bards cheek and her tongue taste the bards lips on the way to an ever more deepening kiss.
"What about that my love, did you feel that?"
"A little Xena, I need you down in my soul Xena, hurry, there is not much time befo....."
Xena stopped the bards' words with a searing kiss. Her hands roamed the bards' body, mindless of everything but the gratitude that loving someone this deeply can bring. Xena pulled back and the woman beneath her moaned, "NO......" Xena jerked off her armor and yanked away as much of her leathers that her strength would allow and returned as quickly as possible to her lovers body, her lovers soul. Covering each inch as much as possible, making sure the memorization of her love was as complete as possible, these last moments were taking on a life all their own. Waves of heat passed through both women and fear and pain and the current situation became only this, a breaking of two hearts by a love so profound, no two bodies could withstand the experience.
"Is that all you remember?"
"Well, that and the feeling that my heart was going to break when I experienced all the love inside me. It was especially painful before I met you. Having all that inside me and not being able to put a face, a body to it. That was awful. It was really awful as a matter of fact. Sometimes I felt like I was going crazy and the only thing that kept me sane was my writing. I think a lot of people thought I was nuts. I know I worried my folks, but what could I tell them, I mean there was really nothing I could say. It was just this feeling.... I did get some good poetry out of all those years though, out of those very feelings..."
"Tell me one Tessa".
"Well, a short verse of one of them went....
"There's a feeling
In my soul
It's that feeling which
Keeps me whole
I'm like you
I've got that tattoo too
Won't be their toy no more".
"Umm, nice." Tears
flew freely from Angela's eyes.
"Don't cry baby, what's wrong? I didn't mean..."
Angela looked up and said, "You know, when I was nineteen I got a tattoo, it was at the pier in San Francisco. I needed to be branded. I had so many deep feelings that I did not understand, but I did not want to lose them. I did not want to ever forget them. I had seen so many others loose their purpose, their soul as they grew older. I wanted a reminder of this ache in my heart so that one day I would be forced to understand it and mend it. Finding you and it all has become so clear, so beautiful and I am so glad for every step of the process. This mark was for you Tessa, even though I did not know it at the time..."
"I love your tattoo Angela, I love you for waiting for me, I love you...."
"Tessa, can you hold me? I need to feel you."
Tessa shifted so she could engulf Angela completely. She lowered her lips to her friend, she allowed her hands to cup the woman's cheek and her tongue taste the woman's lips on the way to an ever more deepening kiss.
"What about that my love, can you feel me now?"
"A little Tessa, but I need you down in my soul, hurry. I need you so much. Tessa stopped Angela's words with a searing kiss. Her hands roamed her body, mindless of everything but the gratitude that loving someone this deeply can bring. Tessa pulled back and the woman beneath her moaned, "NO......" Tessa jerked off her cotton T and yanked away as much of her levis that her patience would allow and returned as quickly as possible to her lovers body, her lovers soul. Covering each inch as much as possible, she worked to memorize her love as completely as possible. These first moments were taking on a life all their own. Waves of heat passed through both women and fear and pain and the current situation became only this, a breaking of two hearts by a love so profound....
End Season six
Stay tuned for the new series beginning next season......
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