"It’s All About Love"

(a.k.a. " Give ‘Em What They Want ")

production #W9346

EPISODE NO. 132

Season 6, Episode 20

story by

A HCNB

teleplay by

A Bard

directed by

The Bard

Shooting Draft July 16, 2001

Full Script July 28, 2001

Disclaimer: All characters (at least most of them in this story) are the property of Pacific Renaissance Pictures, USA Studios, Universal Studios, Oxygen, and anyone else who has monetary and legal ties to the characters. The writer has merely borrowed the characters to play with for awhile and will give them back immediately upon completion of the play.

Xena/Lucy

Gabrielle/Reneé

Varia

Aello (whirlwind)

Marpesia (archer)

Clyemne (famous might) — elder/healer

2 wardrobe ladies

2 makeup ladies

8 Extras milling around set (in street clothes)

10 Amazons (non-speaking villagers)

10 Amazons (non-speaking, dancers and musicians)

Interior sets: Scenes:

Lucy’s home A2/S1

Inside Varia’s hut

Exterior sets: Scenes:

Outside wardrobe/makeup trailers A1/S1

Woods a day’s ride from Amazons A1/S2

Outside the Amazon village A3/S1

Campsite by the lake, Amazon territory A3/S3

Amazon village (bonfire) A3/S2

Sitting on chairs waiting to shoot A1/S3

[Music to be added after shooting, not normally indicated. Sound effects to be added later, also.]

LUCY

I’ve been reading over the lines again since we went over them with the rest of the cast. You know, Reneé, it’s not going to be easy for the fans to let Xena and Gabrielle just ride off into the sunset on their television screens. I hope this look back on their lives through the years helps the HCNBs come to grip with the fact that the series is really over.

RENEÉ

Hard Core Nut Balls? That is being said with great affection, isn’t it, Lucy?

LUCY

Strewth*. [Lucy smiles and winks at her friend] Without them, Xena would never have lasted six seasons. And come to think of it, with them it would have continued another six if we were all willing and TPTB had allowed the show to continue.

RENEÉ

I’m totally serious, Lucy. I’ve been reading some of the comments on the Internet that the fans are writing. They’re distraught that the show’s going off the air. Most of them realize that it’s been a physical strain on us and understand that we want to move on, but the thought of losing their heroes is . . .

LUCY

You’ve been on the Internet?

RENEÉ

Occasionally.

LUCY

I’m sure they realize that Xena and Gabrielle are only television characters. I know they’ve taken them to heart, but . . .

RENEÉ

No buts. Have you watched any of the episodes? Have you really listened to the fans? Have you looked at the fanfiction out there? Xena and Gabrielle are more than fictionalized characters to some of the fans. They’re friends, family, and role models. This show has changed lives, Lucy.

LUCY

Cor blimey*, Reneé, I don’t mean to make light of it. Of course I’ve listened to the fans, I don’t live in a bubble. I know lives have been turned around, women have gotten out of abusive relationships because of the courage they attribute to watching Xena and Gabrielle, new writers have come to light, and charities have benefited greatly. All I’m saying is that I haven’t taken the time to watch the episodes after filming. When I’m home I like to pay more attention to the kids than I have time for during the week.

RENEÉ

Even so, I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the episodes. And we’ve talked about the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle and how it’s grown over the years. We both know how the subtext has become more and more main text and we’ve always played into it. Now we have this ending script . . . Lucy, we need to make this special for the fans.

LUCY

You’ve got no argument from me. What do you want me to do, play catch up and start watching videos now? Damn, Reneé, this is the last episode.

RENEÉ

As a matter of fact, yes. How about tonight after shooting? It’s going to be an early day.

LUCY

Okay . . . Why not . . . Might be fun.

XENA

You know, Gabrielle, we’re getting a little old to be out on the road constantly, kicking ass on a daily basis. You used to bother me constantly about wanting a place to call home and put down some roots; don’t you still want that?

GABRIELLE

Of course I want to settle down, I simply gave up trying to change you. I figured if you ever got tired of moving around you’d let me know. I guess that day has come.

XENA

Sometimes when I look at you it’s hard to imagine the young woman you were when we first started traveling together.

GABRIELLE

Yes, [Gabrielle giggles] it took me some time to realize that it wasn’t easy to travel with a warrior princess, and filling your shoes definitely took more than just putting on your armor.

GABRIELLE

You’re serious though, aren’t you, Xena, about settling down?

XENA

Yes, Gabrielle, I really am. I thought we might go visit Varia and see if they would mind two new additions to the tribe.

GABRIELLE

You don’t know how much this means to me.

XENA

I knew you’d say that.

FADE TO BLACK — End of shoot.

LUCY

We’ve been given a reprieve. Word just came down that something happened to the set we’re supposed to film on, so we’re through for the day.

RENEÉ

Great, then we can go back to your place and watch some of the shows. Steve’s in the city for the week, so there’s no need for me to rush home.

LUCY

Yeah, well, Rob will be holed up here for quite a while, I’m sure. He told me he might even sleep in the trailer tonight if it gets too late. Daisy’s at her father’s, so why don’t you plan on sleeping over? It will just be the three of us, and Julius will be ready for bed not long after we get home.

RENEÉ

Sounds like a winning idea.

FADE TO BLACK: End of Act I

LUCY

I didn’t even know these clip tapes were in the house. I guess Rob keeps them categorized to follow the growth of the characters and their relationship to each other.

RENEÉ

And because he’s a bit kinky and likes to watch the women together. [Reneé laughs] You have to admit, Rob has an unusual flare for the avant-garde.

LUCY

Reneé, you want a fizzy* or wobbly-pop*?

RENEÉ

No, thanks. I’m just fine with this water. [She holds up a bottle.]

LUCY

Okay then; let’s take a look at Xena and Gabrielle through the eyes of the subtext fans.

RENEÉ

Look at our faces, Lucy. Xena looks so lost, and Gabrielle looks anything but the happy bride. More like she’s just waiting for Xena to invite her to run away and forget everything that just happened.

LUCY

I’ve got to admit that these clips could be taken more than one way. But even if they were just friends, Xena would have probably reacted exactly the same way, like she did in that episode when Gabrielle almost died.

RENEÉ

By screaming at her ‘don’t leave me?’

RENEÉ

I don’t know, Lucy. That’s a pretty powerful scene! Xena’s beside herself; she’s absolutely lost her composure. Sure, she’s losing a friend, but her reaction is . . .

LUCY

Okay, okay . . . I see it.

RENEÉ

You don’t just see it? Look at how it filmed! Anyone who can’t feel that scene has no heart. That’s nothing but raw emotion. She’s in love with the girl.

Lucy smiles, shakes her head, and pats Reneé on the shoulder, grabbing another handful of popcorn.

LUCY

The subtext fans really picked up the relationship early on, didn’t they? If I try to remember back, I can feel it, too. I just wasn’t giving it much thought in the beginning. I was trying to let Xena react to Gabrielle, and I guess the love just poured forth.

RENEÉ

It really did start early on. Remember when Xena had to battle her own demons to help save Gabrielle in Dreamworker? You don’t risk your life for someone you just met because they’ve been taken away from you, especially if you’re a warrior.

LUCY

I think I came to the conclusion that Xena loved Gabrielle more than she’d ever loved anyone else in her life during Remember Nothing—she was willing to allow Lyceus to die again to make sure that Gabrielle would be the tender soul that she loved.

RENEÉ

I think even the fans who weren’t originally into the subtext got the message when Xena kissed Gabrielle in The Quest.

LUCY

Well, you surely let it be known that Gabrielle was in love with Xena during that scene.

RENEÉ

I let it be known?

RENEÉ

Xena was the one who bent over and kissed Gabrielle. Rest assured, that was no kiss of friendship.

LUCY

It’s a shame we weren’t allowed to put the actual footage on the small screen. The subtexters would have gone crazy with that.

RENEÉ

They pretty much did with the small kiss they got. I remember pictures of the kiss being all over the Internet the very next day. I think we have more pictures of kissing each other than any other television female personalities ever.

LUCY

I think you’re right, Reneé. But you know, watching these clips in order as we were allowed to let the emotions play out, I can really see where the fans got the notion that the gals were lovers. I guess all the while I thought I was just acting, the Xena character was living a life of her own.

RENEÉ

Did you remember calling Gabrielle ‘Sweetheart’ in that scene, Lucy? The expression on Xena’s face is pure love as she hugs and kisses Gabrielle with tears streaming from her eyes.

LUCY

That line kind of slipped out, actually. Xena must have ad-libbed it during the passion of the moment and her joy at finally finding Gabrielle. [She laughs] funny how much she took over in these scenes.

RENEÉ

So we both agree that the subtext is definitely going to be the main text in this final episode?

LUCY

How could it be anything but? It’s really time that we give ‘em what they want, don’t you think?

RENEÉ

Positively. The writers already did, at least as much as they could while still keeping within the confines of the show and sponsors. [She puts her hand up to her mouth, smiles, and shakes her head.] So, Lucy, I guess it’s up to us to make sure the love between Xena and Gabrielle comes through truer than ever before.

LUCY

What do you say we call it a night? I’m buggered*, but I need to go upstairs and look over tomorrow’s lines.

RENEÉ

Yeah, it’s getting late. I’m tired, too, but should probably do the same. You know, Lucy, after looking at some of these clips tonight, I’m even happier that Rob decided not to use that Japan episode as the last in the series.

LUCY

Me, too! That little veto ability of mine sure came in handy. I’ll tell ya, he was not a happy camper when I told him I didn’t think killing Xena off was a good idea. You know how much he loves his Asian films.

RENEÉ

But can you imagine how the fans would have reacted to him having Xena dead and having Gabrielle sail away alone? [Reneé rolls her eyes and shakes her head.] Can you say ‘sushi ala Tapert served with wasabi?’

LUCY

We certainly wouldn’t have been welcomed in L.A. or New York for a while. [Lucy grins]

RENEÉ

We can sit here making light of it, but I think we both know how serious the fans would be.

LUCY

I hate to even think of the repercussions.

RENEÉ

I didn’t realize how late it was. I think we’d better get to bed. Goodnight, Lucy.

LUCY

Goodnight, Reneé.

FADE TO BLACK: End of ACT II

VARIA

Welcome. [Hugs Gabrielle] Gabrielle. [Clasps Xena’s hand] Xena. We’ve been expecting you. One of the scouts came back yesterday with the news of your arrival in Amazon territory. We thought you might like the privacy, so I told them to leave you alone. What brings you here?

GABRIELLE

It was your decision, why don’t you tell them?

Gabrielle Aside to the Audience:

If I let Xena handle the situation, that way she won’t back out at the last minute making it seem like living here is all my idea.

This is Gabrielle’s way of making me commit myself. If I make the initial statement, then there’s no way I can back out and say it’s all her idea.

XENA

Actually, Varia, we’ve decided that it’s time to put down roots, and we could think of no better place to do so than here.

GABRIELLE

We don’t want to upset the life of the village, Varia. I don’t expect to become reigning queen, and Xena has no intentions of stepping in and leading the warriors.

XENA

We simply want a place to call home.

VARIA

Well, then I guess the village is in need of a celebration to welcome two of its own home.

GABRIELLE (Whispering)

I guess this means you’re going to become a full-fledged Amazon, Xena.

XENA

It’s probably about time I took the oath; after all, I am the soulmate of the Queen of the Amazon Nation.

While plans are started to hold a celebration later that night, two young Amazons join Gabrielle. Xena takes Varia aside. Neither conversation can be heard. Loving OMITTED Glances are exchanged between Xena and Gabrielle as they continue their conversations with other people.

XENA

Varia told me the sisters would be more than happy to help us build a hut. I told her we would look for an area just outside the village.

GABRIELLE

Feeling claustrophobic already, Xena?

XENA

No! I simply don’t want to go from living alone to feeling like we’re living in a closet.

GABRIELLE

Actually, I agree; it’s always better to be out of the closet. Living near the village is great, but having some space is good for us. We’re too used to being alone.

XENA

And that’s the way I like it.

VARIA

So, did you find a spot that was to your liking?

GABRIELLE

Yes, we found a beautiful area with a view of the lake.

XENA

It has more than a view. From atop this huge boulder you can actually dive into the lake.

GABRIELLE

Well, Xena can dive into the lake. [Gabrielle grins at Xena.]

VARIA

I talked to the elders of the tribe while you were gone this afternoon, and it has been decided that both of you will hold important positions on the high council. Your experience and opinions are far too important not to take advantage of them. We realize, Gabrielle, that sometimes you will be asked to act as Queen of the Amazon Nation, and we will understand when one tribe cannot take precedence over the greater good of all the tribes.

VARIA

Xena you will have to become an Amazon via the blood ceremony. It’s very simple, and as well as making you a full Amazon, it will bind you to Gabrielle forever.

XENA

I have no problem with that, Varia. We have already discussed that it was about time I took the oath. The Consort of the Queen of the Amazons should be an Amazon herself.

VARIA

In your heart you’ve been an Amazon for many years, Xena. It’s merely that you continued to allow the past into the present and never gave yourself a chance. Without you, the Northern Amazons would have been destroyed long ago. Otari and Yakut would have never been the legends they are today.

GABRIELLE

She’s right, Xena.

XENA

Then that will all be taken care of tonight, won’t it?

VARIA

Most definitely. [She picks one of the young warriors out of the crowd.] Aello, come here.

AELLO

[The woman salutes her queen and bows] You called for me, my Queen. [She also bows to Gabrielle and Xena and receives nods from all involved.]

VARIA

I want you to go and tell the healer that we are in need of her for a solemn occasion.

VARIA

This is Marpesia. She is one of our best archers. She will light the bonfire and then let fly the lighted ceremonial arrow to signify the initiation of a new sister into the tribe.

VARIA

As soon as Clyemne arrives, we will begin the ceremony of tribal induction. Clyemne, as you may remember, is our healer/shamaness and one of the most revered of the elders.

XENA

They aren’t going to cover me with mud and make me howl at the moon, are they?

GABRIELLE

No, Xena, you know better than that. [Gabrielle takes Xena’s hand.] Just a little cut, right here. [She runs her index finger seductively OMITTED along Xena’s palm and then lifts Xena’s hand to kiss the area to be injured.]CENSORED/OMITTED

XENA

Ah, yes, I do seem to remember an initiation such as that a long time ago, but if I remember correctly, the person who brings the new member into the tribe also participates. [Xena turns Gabrielle’s hand around and repeats the gesture just done to her on Gabrielle’s palm.] That would be you, my love, CENSORED/OMITTED and the second cut would go right here.

VARIA

If I can have everyone’s attention. [She raises her arms and calls to order the Amazons from around the center of the village.] There is usually a waiting period before initiating a member into the Amazons who was neither born of an Amazon nor given a right of caste. The woman being accepted into our ranks tonight has already undergone that process. While she has been considered an Amazon in thought and deed for many years, she has just now agreed to take the oath of sisterhood to be afforded the honor of residing in the Amazon afterlife with her soulmate, Gabrielle. Xena is the only member of her immediate family who has not officially been inducted into our ranks. Tonight that will be rectified.

CLYEMNE

By the rights granted to me as Shamaness of this tribe of Amazons, I begin the rights of initiation. Xena of Amphipolis, Warrior Princess, Consort to Gabrielle, Bard of Potidaea, Queen of the entire Amazon Nation, is it your desire to become one with the Amazons, a sister in blood, and soul?

XENA

It is.

CLYEMNE

Who brings this woman forth to become one with the Amazons?

GABRIELLE

I do.

CLYEMNE

Do you realize that by doing this you become responsible for her?

GABRIELLE

I do.

CLYEMNE

Protecting goddess of the earth, mother to all of us, goddess who watches over the lives of all the Amazons, take this new sister, Xena of Amphipolis, Warrior Princess, into your keeping and take her to your breast as one of your own. I know you have graced her with many skills, and now she will promise to use them in your service.

CLYEMNE

Goddess, you already know this Amazon. Her name is Gabrielle, Bard of Potidaea, Queen of the entire Amazon Nation. She has been a great comfort to your people in times of dire problems, and her wisdom is part of what keeps the tribes together as one great race. She is asking that you allow her soulmate, Xena of Amphipolis, Warrior Princess, to join her as a true Amazon, to live not only the rest of their lives here on earth together, but to also be allowed the privilege of journeying to the Amazon afterlife together when their times arrive to leave this world for a better one.

CLYEMNE

As the blood of these two women mingles, I pronounce Xena of Amphipolis to be a full-blooded Amazon from this day forward, and when her time arrives to leave this earth, the goddess will welcome her to the Amazon afterlife.

CLYEMNE

Amazons, I present your new sister—Xena—to you.

VARIA

I know this was a ceremony in words only, Xena. In your heart you have been an Amazon longer than I have been alive, but it’s my honor to be the first of the Amazons to officially welcome you to our nation as one of us.

XENA

Thank you, Varia.

XENA

I’ve known the Amazons since long before you and I ever met, Gabrielle, but it took you becoming Queen for me to become one of them. Now that I have, as your Consort, officially made a commitment to the Amazon Nation, I think it only fitting to also publicly make my commitment to you.

GABRIELLE

That’s not necessary, Xena. I know how you feel about me, and I think all the Amazons do, also.

XENA

No, this is something I want to do.

XENA

I had a feeling that if we ever came back here again, something like this would happen. I had this ring made and left it in Varia’s keeping. She knew that if we didn’t come back, it meant that we had both died somewhere together, and she would have thrown the ring in the lake with a blessing for us.

GABRIELLE

By the Gods, Xena, it’s beautiful. It looks like your chakram, but it has a blue stone on one side that matches your eyes . . .

XENA

And a green stone on the other to match yours. Those are the colors that stand for each of us, Gabrielle. Together they combine into one setting, just like you and I merge into we. I love you, Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE

First the poem that Sappho wrote and now this!

XENA

The poem was a birthday present. The ring is to mark the anniversary of the first day we met, the day that changed both our lives forever and happens to correspond with today, the day when we finally settle down and make a home for ourselves.

XENA

Thank you for keeping the ring safe, Varia.

VARIA

Of course, Xena; that’s what friends are for.

GABRIELLE

Thank you also for the initiation and the celebration.

VARIA

You’re welcome, Gabrielle. We’re proud that you and Xena chose to settle down here, with our tribe.

XENA

Varia, I hope nobody will mind if we forego the rest of the festivities. It seems we have a little celebrating of our own to do, and I can think of no better place than the spot we picked out for our hut.

VARIA

Of course not. You know Amazons; they don’t care what the reason or who remains, as long as they can party.

XENA

It’s funny, I never thought I would end up living the rest of my life in a quiet place like this with someone I loved. I had no idea how it felt to love and be loved in return, until I met you.

GABRIELLE

When I first met you, I knew I couldn’t let you leave without taking me with you. There was something about you that touched my heart immediately, and it ached at the thought of being without you.

XENA

Well, I can remember a time or two that you almost decided to leave and be without me. There was that certain blonde zealot who heard voices—remember her? I almost lost you to her.

GABRIELLE

If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous.

XENA

Yeah, if you didn’t know better. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought you were trying to make me jealous, going off with her.

GABRIELLE

You forget, Xena, the reason I went off with her is because she was going to kill you. You were unconscious at the time.

XENA

That was the second time. Let’s get back on the discussion of jealousy. You had your share of struggles with the green-eyed monster.

GABRIELLE

When Lao Ma sent for you? How could I ever forget that? And I tried so hard to repress the emotions and the dealings I had with Ares over that mistake.

XENA

I’m just happy you finally worked everything out, even if it did take a visit to the temple of Mnemosyne to accomplish it.

GABRIELLE

Through the years we’ve both made sacrifices. Those sacrifices have more than made up for any jealousy. You almost spent eternity on a cursed ship to be with me.

XENA

Better on the ship with you for eternity than to spend the rest of my life here on solid ground without you.

You certainly had the look of possession there, Lucy.

What can I say? [Giggle from Lucy.]

XENA

Jumping into Dahok’s pit was quite a sacrifice, Gabrielle.

Did you say you wanted to talk about looks, Reneé? I almost forgot that one.

I didn’t, Lucy, Gabrielle couldn’t imagine Xena dying because she killed Hope. She would have been left alone if she had let her do that. But it was also in Sacrifice II where Xena actually came out and said: "It’s strange—the one I love most in all the world and the one I hate—look exactly the same." Remember? Most people don’t love their friend the most in the world. She was claiming her love for Gabrielle in that episode. The way they look at each other makes it obvious that the only thing they’re about when they’re together is love; their relationship is all about love.

I knew that.

GABRIELLE

Maybe so, but what about when you looked for me in the Amazon land of the dead, or when you let me turn you into a Bacchae?

XENA

Sacrifices set aside, we’ve also had our share of reunions.

XENA

No one can ever say we’ve lived a dull life, Gabrielle. But, you know, I think we’re going to be happy here. It may seem a little mundane at times, but I’m sure we’ll find something to do to alleviate that.

GABRIELLE

And I’m sure if anyone is ever in dire need of a Warrior Princess . . .

XENA

Or a Battling Bard . . .

GABRIELLE

They won’t have any trouble finding us.

XENA

She begins kissing Gabrielle. The bard reciprocates. Xena’s hand caresses Gabrielle’s breast as she nibbles on her lover’s neck —OMITTED

GABRIELLE

You know, Xena, we’ve outlived most of our friends and relatives, and we’ve been from the heights of heaven to the depths of hell together in this immediate lifetime. I’m glad it seems as though we’re finally going to be allowed to stop roaming the countryside in the service of others.

XENA

You’re right, Gabrielle. We’ve come full circle. I’ve taught you everything I know, just like you asked me to do so many years ago. [Gabrielle shakes her head, starts to speak and object] Okay, almost everything I know; you still can’t throw the chakram and the pinch . . . we’ll work on that some more, I promise. [Xena grins.] But, on the other hand, you have also taught me many things.

GABRIELLE

You have redeemed yourself more times than I can remember, Xena, so the karmic circle should continue without hesitation. Neither of us are the women we were when we began our journey, but we definitely are the women we were born to become. You’re my world, Xena, the love of my life and my soulmate.

XENA

I know, Gabrielle, over the years we’ve blended together like the two halves of the same soul we truly are. Our life together, no matter what else it seems to be on the surface, is all about love.

GABRIELLE

Of course, it is Xena; anyone who has ever seen us together knows without a doubt that our relationship is all about love. I’m glad your journey this lifetime led you to me.

XENA

Gabrielle, no matter what life we’re living, we’ll always find each other; it’s our destiny.

GABRIELLE

I love you, Xena.

XENA

I love you, too, Gabrielle.

*Kiwi Words:

Strewth God’s truth (honestly)

Cor blimey Exclamation of disbelief

Fizzy Soda pop

Wobbly-pop Beer

Buggered Exhausted

Miscellaneous abbreviations for those who are Not HCNBs:

HCNB Hard Core Nut Balls

TPTH The Powers That Be

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