I Want My Happy Ending, Dammit



A slightly altered version of FIN 1


A radically altered version of FIN 2,

complete with new and improved ending

(of course, any new ending would be an improvement)

(shhhhhhhh, original episode transcripts borrowed from WHOOSH!…I won’t tell, if you won’t)


Xena: Warrior Princess

"A Friend in Need 1"


Fade in:

EXT: Forest--night, clear starry sky (what else? <.G.>)

It’s a typical camp set up. Xena & Gabrielle are on their bedrolls, gazing at the stars. A fire flickers nearby and the horses are tethered in the background.

G: "Looking out at the cosmos makes you think-- about where we are-- where we’ve been-- where we’re going now."

Xena sits up.

X: "Yeah-- and like the bigger now. I mean, Gabrielle, what are we gonna do? Wander around Greece our whole lives looking for trouble? Why don’t we go away? Far away? Whaddya say?"

Gabrielle turns and looks up at Xena.

G: "I can’t believe you’re awake, much less listening to me."

Xena quietly, gets to her feet and nonchalantly moves toward the tree line.

X: "Let’s go south to the land of the Pharaohs. I hear they’re in need of a girl with a chakram."

G (whispering): "You know that there’s somebody out there."

X: "Yeah, he’s been trying to find us the past half-hour."

Xena reaches into the darkness and grabs hold of the stranger. She flings him into the campsite. He stumbles and falls.

Kenji [Ken]: "Oh!"

G: "Are you all right?"

Gabrielle gets up and offers her hand. He takes it and she pulls him to her feet. She looks back over her shoulder at Xena and frowns a little. Xena shrugs.

Ken: "Ah-- yes. Thank you."

He falters again and she helps him retain his balance.

G: "Whoa!"

He turns to Gabrielle.

Ken: "Are you Xena?"

She points to Xena.

X: "Who’s askin’?"

Ken: "I have a message-- sent by Akemi."

X: "Akemi? You saw Akemi?"

Ken (voice over): "Several weeks ago. I was journeying with another monk through a forest-- near the town of Higuchi."



EXT: Teahouse--dusk

The weather is nasty and rainy. The two monks are approaching the teahouse.

Ken (voice over): "It started to rain. And we sought shelter at a teahouse. I am blessed with a certainty-- about what it means to be a monk-- but my companion-- was not as steadfast in his resolve."


INT: Teahouse--brightly lit with lanterns

Three women are present all dressed in white, embroidered kimonos. Two of them invite MONK #2 to a bath and join him.

*(note to costume department…fight the urge to dress him in a red shirt, okay? <.g.>)

The other (Akemi) sits and plays a stringed instrument.


CUT TO: view from a camera moving quickly through the dark forest.


INT: Teahouse

Akemi stops playing and looks toward the door. She moves to her feet.

Ken (voice over): "All of a sudden, Akemi felt something, she told me to leave immediately. She pushed me out the backdoor and told me to run. I heard the screams from inside."

A demon enters through the wall. He blows a cold breath on MONK #2 who is still in the hot tub. He instantly freezes and dies. The demon then inhales his soul.


EXT: Teahouse

Kenji running out of the teahouse, steps off into a pond. He comes up sputtering and coughing. Akemi materializes right beside him. A loud scream is heard.

Ken (voice over): "I asked her what happened…she told me that it was the Lord of the Dark Land. He is preparing an army to wage war in Higuchi-- and kill the populace. He would then consume their souls. I told her I was no swordsman. She told me that there was one, highly skilled, far beyond the setting sun…she called this samurai…the warrior princess."




EXT: Ship’s deck–day

Kenji and Gabrielle are sparring with staffs. Circling each other, intermittent sounds of clashing wood. Xena sits on a raised platform, enjoying the sun.

*(note to costume department…bikinis would be nice touch here, not necessary, but, eh, couldn’t hurt <.wagglin’ eyebrows.>)

Ken: "The way of the sword is the most ancient of the warrior’s art. With practice, the samurai develops the sacred virtues of bravery, self-discipline and honor."

Gabrielle looks over at Xena and consciously lowers her voice as she speaks to Kenji.

G: "This Akemi who sent for Xena-- what do you know about her?"

Ken: "She was forced by Yodoshi-- the lord of the dark land-to seduce souls-- into his grasp. She’s very beautiful-- and she’s a ghost."

G: "She’s a-- ?"

X: "Gabrielle, before we reach Jappa-- I should tell you everything that happened there last time. Many years ago-- Borias told me about a young girl who was kidnapped by a Chinese warlord. She’d been taken hostage from a mighty island-- even further east than Ch’in."



X (voice over): "Being the kind of person I was then-- the challenge of finding a new land to plunder was just too much for me. I had to meet her."

INT: Chinese palace

Xena and Borias are walking down a hallway, following Kao, a Chinese Warlord.

X: "So, her daddy’s rich, you say?"

Borias [Bor]: "And powerful. He should pay well for the return of his sweet daughter."

Kao leads them into a room.

Kao: "Come. Akemi-- meet-- "

Akemi [A]: "Xena-- the warrior princess."

Xena is surprised.

X: "You know me?"

A: "Oh, yes. I’ve heard that you’re afraid of nothing. Kao here-- he’s afraid of many things."

Bor: "This girl has spirit."

Kao: "This girl deserves to die-- speaking of me like that in front of my guests."

A: "You won’t kill me. Xena won’t let you. Because in her heart-- she knows that she will soon love me."

Bor: "Xena loves no one."

A: "I’ll be your student, Xena. You’ll take me with you. You’ll teach me everything you know."

Kao: "I have a few lessons for you!"

Xena is taken with Akemi’s boldness. She pulls a small purse out of her belt and tosses it to Kao.

X: "Here-- 50 pieces of gold. It’s the best offer you’ll get for her."

Kao: "I do what I want with my property. I say this isn’t a good day to trade."

X: "Is it a good day to die?"

Xena pulls her sword.

Bor: "It’s unhealthy to negotiate with this one. I’d take the gold."

Kao: "Guards!"

Xena puts the pinch on Kao and then a fight ensues with the guards.


The fight ends, the guards are unconscious or dead and she turns her attentions back to Kao.

X: "I’ve shut off the flow of blood to your brain. You got 10--9-- 8-- ah, forget it."

She walks off with Akemi in tow as Kao dies.

Bor: "I would have taken the gold."

He takes the money purse back and leaves.


EXT: Ship’s deck-day

X: "You know, Borias? I have a dream-- a dream of conquering every land between here and Britannia."

Bor: "Xena-- you’re always looking for green pastures to rape and pillage."

X: "Yep-- and maybe there’s more in this than just the ransom, huh? I mean, with her father as an ally, I could get a nice toehold on that island."

Bor: "What makes you so sure she’ll lead you to Daddy?"

X: "Ah, she wouldn’t lie to me. No-- she worships her teacher."

Bor: [Laughs]

X: "What’s so funny?"

Bor: "Xena, you couldn’t teach a dog to bark." [Laughs]

X: "Akemi! Come here. I wanna show you something."

Akemi approaches.

A: "You’re wrong. Xena will be a great teacher."

Xena turns and snickers at Borias.

A: "I’m ready."

X: "All right. If someone’s comin’ atcha with a right/left combination-- this is what I wantcha to do. You feint back, twist in the direction of the blow, and then deliver a vicious jumping, spinning back-kick. All right?"

A: "Right, so-- that’s right, a left-- a feint-- uh, a jumping, swinging-- "

X: "-- jumping, spinning back-kick. All right. Now, I’ll be a bad guy."

Bor: [Laughs]

Xena goes through her fight sequence altering the last part and resoundingly kicks Akemi in the stomach. Akemi is knocked backward and reels from the blow. Xena smirks at Borias.

X: "Lesson one-- trust no one."


EXT: at gangplank of boat

Xena and Akemi are disembarking.

Bor: "Remember, Xena-- I get 10 % of the ransom. [Laughs] Good luck, teacher."


EXT: Forest--day…cold, snowy ground

X: "Come on, Akemi-- keep up."

A [Sighs]: "My ribs are still a little sore."

Xena stops moving.

X: "Well, next time we’ll start with something a little simpler-- like listening. Listen to that."

A: "To what?"

X: "To life and death. Every sound, every movement, is a message. A wagon just crossed a creek up ahead. A deer grazing nearby."

A: "When you listen to the Kami like that-- you must be at peace."

X: "The Kami? What’s that?"

A: "The Kami are the powers behind all nature. They make the sun shine-- the grass grow. They brought you to me."

X: "No, no, no. When I listen like that, I’m at war. Every sound is a possible warning of an enemy approaching."

A: "I believe that one day, Xena-- the Kami will help you know peace. And I would be honored-- if you would accept this."

Akemi pulls a small parchment out of her sleeve and hands it to Xena, who looks at it…turning it over a few times.

X: "Oh-h-h-h-- uh-h-h-h-h-- it’s really pretty."

A: "It’s our scripts. When my people are overcome with a feeling-- that needs to be preserved-- we write verse."

X: "Oh, yeah? Like what feeling?"

A: "Love."

Xena is puzzled.

X: "Love?"

Akemi reads the writing.

A: "Yesterday-- the moon took lodging on my sleeve. Today--I have hope for even the brokenhearted stars."



EXT: Ship’s deck

Gabrielle and Xena are sitting quietly talking.

G: "So beautiful. To write something like that, she must have loved you very much. What’s wrong?"

X: "The truth is, Gabrielle-- she broke my heart."



EXT: Ship’s deck (continued)

G: "She broke your heart? I don’t understand."

X: "For a while, I didn’t understand myself."



X (voice over): "When I traveled with Akemi to her island for the ransom-- I was to learn that my heart was seeking something else."

EXT: Forest…cold, wintry

X: "I thought I was taking you to your father."

A: "His castle’s in the north. We came here first to visit my grandfather. He-- died here-- many years ago."

X: "Are you telling me that we have walked days in the wrong direction to see a…dead…guy?!"

A: "We must visit my grandfather to seek his blessing. He’s dead-- but-- I can still speak to him."

Xena grabs Akemi by her shoulder and turns her around. She feints a punch.

X: "All your talk about moons up your sleeve-- you were playing me for a fool. I oughtta just-- !"

A: "You hear the Kami through the sounds of nature. In the same way-- I hear sounds that are silent to you. My grandfather says that you are a wise and appropriate teacher-- and-- he feels your sword-- is not good enough."

X: "There’s a string of widows from here to Greece that say different."

A: "Compared to a katana-- all other swords are toys."

X: "Well-- then get me one of those."

A: "The great katana lies near here-- but-- you must know-in our country-- women are forbidden to own katana."

X: "Well, they’re just gonna have to get used to it, aren’t they?"


INT: Weapon forge

Four weapons masters are present as are an entire arsenal of weapons in different states of completion. Akemi stands in the doorway.

A: "Sensei-- I come bearing a challenge. My master wishes to fight you for possession of the katana-- forged from the purest ore-- of the Hakiman temple."

Sensei [Sen]: "Your master must be a mighty samurai."

X: "Oh, no-- I’m just a girl-- in search of a really good sword."

Sen: "A woman?! A foreigner! Challenging us-- for the sacred katana?! This-- is a great insolence!"

X: "Well, I guess you’re gonna have to teach me a lesson, hm-m?"


Xena holds her own with three of the weapons masters and they are soon disabled. The Sensei goes after Akemi. Xena steps in between them and they begin to sword fight. The katana sweeps right through her blade, cutting it in half. Xena is impressed.

X: "Ooh, yeah...gimme, gimme."

Xena steps up her fight with the Sensei and kills him. She takes the katana and does a quick sword drill.

X: "Yeah. Grandpa was right. Now…this…is a sword."


EXT: Back in the forest

A: "‘In a flurry of snow-- two breaths of wind unite-and become as one-- and then disappear into each other.’"

X: "Listen, Akemi-- I don’t want you to take this the wrong way-- I really love this sword-- and you’re a nice kid, but I just came for the ransom."

A: "I don’t believe that. What do you hear now?"

X: "Snow falling on cedars. No-- your heart-- beating harder than normal."

(Xena gets hit with a big clue by four. <.G.>)

A: "You’re a master of war-- yet-- you know no words to speak of love. And then you go and save my life. There’s no greater gift of love a teacher can give a student than that. I have another gift I must ask of you. I saw what you did to kill that

coward Kao."

Xena admits her feelings to herself and believes her words.

X: "It’s a sacred trust."

A: "I would be honored-- beyond words-- if you’d teach me that."

X: "All right."



EXT: Ship’s deck

G: "You knew her for a few weeks and you taught her the pinch? Xena, in all the time…"

Captain [Interrupts]: "Higuchi is under siege, and there’s no place to dock. I’m turning back."

They both peer at the shore.

X: "What?! Gabrielle, I’ve got to go ashore."

G: "I’m with you."

X: "I knew you’d say that."

They jump overboard to swim to shore. Kenji is right behind them.


EXT: On the shore of Higuchi.

Xena and Gabrielle step out of the water. They run for the town.

X: "Firebombs."

G: "They’re going to burn Higuchi to the ground."

Xena looks around, hoping for a plan.

X: "We’ve gotta release the water from the tower. Gabrielle, what would you do?"

G: "I saw these acrobats. They used-- "

X: "Show me, Gabrielle."

[Somersaults, leaps, ropes, ladders, acrobatics–Cirque du SolGabby <.G.>]

G: "Climb on!"

X: "All right. What’s next?"

G: "This way!"

X: "Gabrie-e-e-e-e-elle!"

G: "Whoa! Xena! [Yells] Go for the ladder!"

They reach the top of the water tower. Gabrielle is unable to turn the water spigot, so Xena pierces the sides of the tower with her sword. Water flows down and puts out the fires.

Villagers: [Cheer]

X: "Whoo-hoo!"

Villagers: "Yeah! We’ve won! We’ve won!"

G: "Higuchi is saved."

*(note to director: remind Renée to watch her accent here.)

Xena pats Gabrielle on the shoulder.

X: "Not quite the way I would have done it, Gabrielle, but it sure worked."

[They chuckle.]



EXT: Higuchi (town)

Gabrielle and Xena are walking through the town.

G: "You know, Xena, I still don’t understand. You taught Akemi the pinch. Did she ever use it?"

X: "Yes, unfortunately, she did."



X: (voice over): "After a many days’ walk-- we reached her father’s fortress."

INT: Palace of Yodoshi

He is sitting, being entertained. A masked woman enters. She stops and removes her mask.

Yodoshi [Yod]: "Akemi?"

Xena enters.

X: "Akemi, what are you doing?"


Akemi puts the pinch on her father and then quietly begins to pray to her family.

A: "You have mere moments to live. My brothers-- my sisters--

my mother-- and my gentle grandparents-- I avenge all your deaths

at the hands of this monster."

Guards rush in…Xena is forced to engage them.


A: "Father-- "

X: "Father?"

They watch Yodoshi die.

A: "-- I pray you suffer in death-- the way your family suffered in life."

She turns to Xena.

A: "It was my duty. He tortured and killed them…He threw their mutilated bodies off a cliff. He had to die."

X (angry): "I don’t care about that! What about the ransom?! Where’s my money?!"


EXT: Yodoshi’s palace.

A: "Forgive me, Xena."

Akemi kneels and begins to pray. Xena is fuming.

X: "I don’t suppose there’s any inheritance in this!"

A: "I have one last thing to ask of you. Restore my honor. The sacred katana."

Akemi moves her hair aside and exposes her neck.

X: "You want me to cut off-- ? That’s why you wanted me to take the katana."

A: "After that is done-- take my ashes-- and place them in the family shrine-- in the town of Higuchi."

X: "No, no. No, I’m not going to-- ! Akemi!"

Xena watches as Akemi pulls a dagger out of her belt and plunges it into her abdomen.

A: "I pray you will. ‘The-- snow melts. Flowers fade. And I pass-- as all things do.’"

X: "You-- "

A: "‘But-but time-- and love-- they go on.’ Restore my honor, Xena."

Xena fights indecision and finally swings the katana around and down.

X: [Yells]



EXT: Higuchi (town)

Villagers [Cheer]: "Xena!" "Yeah, Xena!" "Xena!"

G: "How will you feel when you come face-to-face with Akemi’s ghost?"

Harukata [Har]: "Better question is-- how will Xena feel--face--to-face-- with the ghosts of the people she killed at Higuchi?!"

Xena turns to the voice behind her.

X: "What?"

G: "Who are you?"

Har: "My family name is Harukata."

Ken: "But he’s known as the killer of ghosts."

G: "Xena saved your city."

Har: "This time. But that does nothing to atone-- for what happened-- when last she was here."

G: "What’s he talking about?"

X: "I was fulfilling Akemi’s dying wish-- to place her ashes at the family shrine here in Higuchi."



X (voice over): "Word got out that I was honoring the ashes of a girl who had killed her father. The townsfolk felt that I would be defiling their graveyard. They banded together to stop me."

Xena is stumbling through the town, obviously drunk, carrying a bottle of sake in one hand and Akemi’s ashes in the other.

X (voice over): "I tried to ignore them, but they came after me."

The townspeople, carrying torches, are following her, they begin to throw things at her and beat on her.


The urn is knocked to the ground, it breaks and scatters Akemi’s ashes to the wind.

X: "No! Akemi!"

Xena takes a mouthful of the sake she is carrying, picks up a fallen torch and blows fire at some of the vigilantes. A building catches fire. She wanders off, her grief and drunkenness making her oblivious to everything

Villagers: "Fire! Fire!"



EXT: Higuchi (town)

Har: "The wind took the fire-- from house to house. Many of my townsfolk-- perished-- in the flames!"

X: "What?"

Har: "More were left homeless in the harshness of the winter. Exposure, starvation, disease...many more died. That was-- only the beginning."

Ken: "Akemi told me that after she killed her father, Yodoshi’s spirit was so full of evil-- even the underworld would not allow him to enter. He became Lord Yodoshi-- the eater of souls. The lost spirits were at his mercy. Now because of his strength he can claim souls from all the dead and holds them inside of himself-- enslaved for eternity, unable to cross over."

X: "Then I am guilty of a greater evil than I ever thought possible."

G: "Xena, it was a horrible accident."

X: "Yes, --but, I must put things right. Another of my monsters, I have to deal with."

G: "We will deal with."



EXT: Atop a fortress wall, very early morning

Xena and Gabrielle are looking out over the lands.

X: "Can you hear them?"

G: "I thought I heard a horse, before."

X: "Listen not just to the sounds-- but to what’s behind the sounds."

Gabrielle listens and hears the sounds of a distant marching.

G: "How many are there?"

X: "At least three armies are gathering."

G: "I’ll warn the others."

As Gabrielle leaves, Harukata approaches.

X: "Ghost killer-- I know that you think of me as your enemy--but you must believe this. My spirit aches for the torment I’ve caused."

Har: "We both want-- the same thing-- to release those souls. I fear only a spirit can get close enough to kill another spirit as powerful as Yodoshi."


INT: Fortress, low lights

Xena kneels in prayer.

X: "Akemi-- I know what I must do-- but I’m afraid that this day--I may not be good enough--what I do, I may not be able to undo...." [pause] "Gabrielle, please forgive me."

Gabrielle enters talking.

G: "Xena, the militia is prepared. Why aren’t you ready?"

X: "Gabrielle, come here. [Sniffs] Come here."

Gabrielle kneels in front of Xena. Xena picks up her hands and places them on her throat.

X: "Give me your hands. All right. Here. Feel the surge of blood under the

skin. Now, just behind-- "

Gabrielle tries to pull her hands away, but is held fast by Xena.

G: "Xena-- you don’t have to do this. I understand why you would never wanna teach me the pinch."

X: "No. No, today more than ever-- I want you to know what I know. Please."

Xena puts the pinch on herself. She suffers from shortness of breath and her nose begins to bleed.

G: "Why are you doing this?"

Xena stares deeply, sincerely into Gabrielle’s eyes.

X: "Gabrielle-- if I only had 30 seconds to live-- this is how I’d want to live them-- looking into your eyes."

G (pleading): "Stop this. Stop it."

Xena takes the pinch off. Her breath is ragged.

G: "Why would you teach me this right now? I don’t understand!"

X: "There’s nothing to understand. I just wanted you to know everything I know. Let’s go. We've got a battle to win."


EXT: Fortress

Gabrielle and Kenji are leaving for battle.

Ken: "Wouldn’t it be better if we stayed with Xena?"

G: "Xena wants us to lead a contingent to the east plain. She said a group of

Yodoshi’s archers are gathering there."

Xena exits behind them.

*(note to costume department…maybe something in red would be nice touch here…maybe some gold accents, show off the body, not totally necessary, but, eh, still couldn’t hurt <.wagglin’ eyebrows.>)

She stares wistfully at Gabrielle.

X (whispers): "Always remember, I love you."

She turns and walks in the opposite direction.

Fade out.


Xena: Warrior Princess

"A Friend in Need 2"


Narrator: "Previously, on Xena"

[Insert clips]:

[[[X: "You saw Akemi."

Kenji [Ken]: "Xena, you must save Higuchi from destruction."

Yodoshi [Yod]: [Roars] [Blows out]

Ken: "Who was that demon?!"

Akemi [A]: "The lord of the dark land. He’s preparing an army to wage war on Higuchi-- and slaughter the populace."

X: "At least 3 armies are gathering."

G: "Why would you teach me this right now? I don’t understand!"

X: "I just wanted you to know everything I know." X: "Let’s go. We got a battle to win."]]]


Fade In:

EXT: Forest-West of Fortress

[Sound of drums, really big drums… really, really big drums]

Xena walking through the forest, listening to the armies as they approach.


EXT: Forest-East of Fortress

Gabrielle and Kenji are walking along, listening carefully.

G: "It’s too quiet out here."

Gabrielle, heavy in thought.

X (voice over): "Gabrielle, what would you do? What would you do? [Echoes] Listen not just to the sounds-- but also to what’s behind the sounds. What’s behind the sounds. [Echoes] Always remember, I love you. I love you. [Echoes]

G: "Xena! Dammit!"

(Gabrielle’s turn to be hit with a clue by four).

She turns to Kenji.

G: "I have to go back."

Gabrielle begins running back toward the fortress, looking for Xena.


EXT: Forest-West of Fortress

The tempo of the drums pick up…soldiers are on the march, wagons are being moved and arrows begin to rain from the sky. Xena dodges them at first, but soon is overwhelmed and takes a few hits. She breaks off the shafts of the arrows and continues on.

Spying a supply wagon, she lets the chakram fly…it bounces off a soldier, then into the supply wagon dumping casks, which break open, then off another soldier who drops a torch…the liquid explodes, sending a wall of fire forward.

*(note to special effects team…do not under any circumstances…make this a mushroom cloud…*that* would be beyond tacky and tasteless)

The chakram does not return.

Knowing she is vastly outnumbered, Xena pulls her sword and begins attacking everyone in sight. Her final thoughts are on Gabrielle and she screams her name in battle.

X: "All right. Now you asked for it. Gabrie-e-e-e-elle!"

[More fighting…Xena is slashing everything in sight]

[[[X (voice over): " -- if I only had 30 seconds to live-- "

G (voice over): "We’re going to be together. You brought out the best in me."]]]

X: "Gabriee-e-e-e-elle!"

[[[X: (voice over):"-- this is how I’d want to live them-- looking into your eyes."]]]



Gabrielle is running through the forest, followed by Kenji, and looking for signs of Xena.

G: "Xena-a-a-a!"

She slows as she sees all the devastation and bodies. Harukata is wandering among the dead, spearing the emerging souls with his katana. She turns to Kenji.

G: "The ghost killer. What’s he doing?"

Ken: "His job-- speeding wandering souls on their way-- before they can be devoured by Yodoshi. Perhaps he sees Xena."

G: "Xena is alive! Do you understand? She is alive. I'd feel it if she wasn't...I'd know."

Gabrielle spies the chakram on the ground. She picks it up and sees it is covered in blood. She begins to run again.

G: "Noooooooooooooo! Xena!"

Gabrielle reaches the battlefront. She spies Xena, barely hanging on...wounded severely. She joins her in battle.

G: "Xena! What do you think you are doing?"

X: "Yell at me later, ok?"


Xena sees an archer (at short range) has Gabrielle's back in his sights and reaches for her chakram, not finding it she does the only thing she can do...she steps into the path of the arrow.

X: "Uhhhh."

Gabrielle turns at the sound of the arrow's impact and catches Xena as she sinks to the ground. She flings one of her sais at the archer and impales him.

G: "Oh, Xena..."

Xena is lying in Gabrielle's lap.

X: "Gabrielle. What are you doing here?"

G: "I figured out you sent me away. I was so worried about you. I found your chakram. There’s so much blood."

Gabrielle is trying desperately to stop the flow of blood. She knows the wounds are bad.

X: "I knew it was going to be brutal...I wasn't sure I'd win this time...I didn't want you anywhere near here, to see this...I wanted you safe."

G: "Xena, still protecting me, huh?"

X: "Always."

Xena looks in Gab's eyes, raises her bloody hand and cups her cheek.

G (rambling): "Xena we have to find a healer...you are losing too much blood."

X: "Gabrielle...stop...listen to me...I don't have much time...I’m going to kill Yodoshi. I have to make things right. I’m sorry, Gabrielle. I couldn’t tell you. You’d have tried to stop me, and then we’d both be dead."

G: "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

X: "We’ve overcome death before. We will find a way to bring me back. But now by becoming a spirit I can get close enough to kill Yodoshi and free those souls that I helped condemn to torment. Don’t you see that?"

G: "You’re my whole life, Xena. I can't lose you...not again. Please, Xena..."

X: "You won’t lose me. I'll always be in your heart."

Xena grimaces in obvious pain, her breath is short.

X: "Please understand...it's the only way."

Gabrielle leans down and kisses Xena. Affirming her faith.

*(A real kiss…I hear that there is a wager on an internet list about this…<.BEG.>…well, real kiss, real bodies, in their right minds…I’m always willing to help out.)


They break off the kiss and continue to stare in each other’s eyes.

X: "I got my wish."

[[[X (voice over): " -- if I only had 30 seconds to live--this is how I’d want to live them-- looking into your eyes."]]]

G: "Xena, oh noooooooo..."

X: "Remember, I promised...even in death Gabrielle...even in death I will never...never leave you. I always keep my word to you. I love you."

Xena dies. Gabrielle continues to hold the body, rocking gently back and forth...crying...

G: "I love you, Xena."

She places light kisses on Xena's forehead. Hearing footsteps, Gabrielle picks up Xena's katana and brandishes, menacingly, it at the ones approaching.

G: "Harukata, don’t you come near her."

Harukata and Kenji both stop moving forward. The sword suddenly dematerializes from her hand. She protectively gathers Xena's body closer to her chest.

Har: "The katana returned to the teahouse. I have one question for you. Would you risk your life for the return of hers?"

G: "Without hesitation."

Ken: "There is a way, Gabrielle. You must take her body-- burn it-- then sprinkle the ashes into the Fountain of Strength on Mt. Fuji. You must find the fountain before the second sunset after death."

G: "That’s tomorrow."

Har: "We must got to the teahouse first, I must say the incantations necessary-- to give the sacred katana power against malicious spirits."



INT: Teahouse

Akemi looks on as the katana materializes on the display block. She smiles and then turns to the doorway. Xena walks in, totally naked. The other women dress her in a…in a…red…yeah…red kimono.

*(note to costume department---symbolism, shimbolism…Lucy just looks damn great in red…go with it <.G.>)

A: "You came to me in my dreams-- and I thought it was reality. Now you come to me in reality. It feels like it’s a dream. Either way, I’m filled with joy."

Xena frowns already missing Gabrielle.

X: "There is no joy for me."

Akemi oblivious to Xena's pain, anguish and heartbreak, continues talking.

A: "I want to write a verse to express how I feel-- but there’s no poetry of sufficient beauty."

X: "Akemi-- I’ve been in the underworld before, but it never felt like this. What’s goin’ on?"

A: "Our bodies? They’re an illusion-- projected by Yodoshi. While we are under his power-- we must obey his will."

X: "Funny, you’re just the way I remember you."


CUT TO: view from a camera moving quickly through the dark forest

(recycle same cheesy footage from FIN 1)


Yodoshi enters the teahouse and proceeds to whipping the daylights out of Xena. She ends up naked at his feet, submissive.

Yod: [Laughs].

X (through clenched teeth): "I am at your service, Lord Yodoshi."

Yod: "You most certainly are. An eternity-- of playing the whore to service my appetite for souls."

He disappears again.

A: "Xena-- I was so worried that you wouldn’t show Yodoshi respect."

X: "It wasn’t respect I was showing him. I’m going to destroy Yodoshi. No need tipping him off early."

A: "He’s very dangerous."

X: "So am I."

Xena turns to the doorway as she hears a horse approach. She walks to the door.


EXT: Teahouse

Gabrielle, Kenji and Harukata approach the Teahouse...Xena's body is wrapped in silk and lying across the back of a horse that Gabrielle is leading.

She looks up as Xena exits the teahouse. She drops the reins and runs, stopping just short of her arms. Gabrielle looks over her shoulder at the horse. Then reaches tentatively to Xena. Feeling flesh, she grabs Xena in a big hug. Xena kisses the top of her head and then releases her from the hug. She is smiling widely at Gabrielle, clasps her hand and they begin to walk toward Akemi.

X: "Akemi, this is my soul mate. She’s a Bard-- and a poet like you."

Gabrielle, uncomfortably, approaches Akemi.

X: "Gabrielle-- this is Akemi."

Akemi bows.

A: "It is an honor to meet you at last."

G: "And you, Akemi."

Ken: "Xena, we haven't much time. Gabrielle can’t help us with our work in the teahouse. She knows what she must do to bring you back. And she should leave soon."

Xena hugs Gabrielle again, tightly.

X (whispering in her ear): "Good luck."

G: "I am getting you back, Xena-- before sunset tomorrow, we…will…meet again-- on the side of Mt. Fujisan."

X: "I'll be there."



INT: Teahouse

Har: [Chants the incantations]

Yodoshi appears as if summoned. He is surprised by what he sees.

Yod: "Huh?" [Yells]


Akemi gets knocked out of the way. Xena and Kenji get batted around, Harukata engages Yodoshi in a fight with the katana.

Yod: "We finally meet-- ghost killer!" [Yells]

[More fighting]

Yodoshi mortally wounds Harukata and kills Kenji but not before Xena inflicts some damage on him.

Yod’s Voice: [Yells]

Yodoshi disappears, wounded.


EXT: Forest, somewhat open glade--dusk

A pyre burns.

G (whispers): "I can’t let you die."

X (voice over): "Even in death, Gabrielle-- I will never leave you."

G: "You will return to me." [Sniffles]

She looks at the chakram in her hand, kisses it and hooks it to her belt.


INT: Teahouse

Xena is kneeling, holding Harukata's wounded body, trying to comfort him.

X: "Harukata, what went wrong?"

Har: "He must be drinking-- from the fountain of strength on Mt. Fuji. If you drink-- from the fountain-- and use-- the sword I blessed-- it will be the final destruction-- for any spirit. Xena-- you must finish a job-- and release us all."

Harukata dies.

X: "I will not rest till it is done."



EXT: Mountainside--day

Gabrielle, carrying the urn with Xena’s ashes, watches as Yodoshi uses his sword to turn a lever on the rock face, which starts the fountain flowing.

G: "Oh."

Xena surprises Yodoshi and stops him before he can drink from the fountain.


Xena and Yodoshi trade blows. Her sword arm is cut severely. She switches the katana to her left hand. Yodoshi is not as weakened as they believed. It is a tough fight and Xena is getting beaten. He cuts her leg. Badly hamstringed, her movements are extremely hampered.

X: "Come on. Come on! Uh!" [Yells]

She tries to get to the fountain and is pulled back by Yodoshi who grabs her around the throat, his arm a rope of flames.

G: "Xena!"

Gabrielle throws the chakram it bounces from rock face to rock face distracting Yodoshi. Yodoshi flings Xena in disgust as he ducks the chakram's movement. Gabrielle runs to Xena and drops to her knees.

G: "Xena-- what happened?"

X (weakly and very hoarse due to damage): "Told you I’d see you here."

She smiles.

X (weakly): "I can't fight, my leg...my sword arm is useless..."

Xena's words are interrupted by the return of the chakram, which Gabrielle catches handily. Gabrielle stares, incredulously, at the chakram in her hand. She’s filled with confidence in her own skills.

G: "I can."

X: "Gabrielle?"

Her voice is filled with a little surprise and a lot of pride. Xena motions with her eyes to the katana lying on the ground a few yards away.

X: "Gabrielle, you must drink from the fountain and use the sacred katana to finish the job. [Whispers] You can do it."

G: "The sun is setting, Xena. I have to hurry and add your ashes to the fountain."

Gabrielle runs for the fountain, she sets the urn on the edge. Her body hiding her movements, she cups a little water in her hand and drinks it.

X (pleads): "Gabrielle-- "

Yod: "Come on!"

He throws a fireball at the fountain. It shakes the rock face knocking the urn over. Gabrielle dives out of the way, at the last second, toward the katana. She is oblivious to the condition of the urn. Yodoshi continues to throw fireballs at her. She grabs the katana.

X: "Gab-- "

Yod: "Enough of this!"

He throws one more fireball that lands close to Gabrielle, she falls to the ground, unmoving. Yodoshi turns his back to Gabrielle and his attention to Xena, who is lying weak, helpless and weaponless on the ground. He raises his katana.

Yod: "You are about to join all the souls you helped to condemn, Xena. Then I think I will take the head off your little friend."

Xena stares up at him, unflinching.

X: "You won’t live that long."

Gabrielle stabs him from the back with the katana. She pulls it back out, as he falls she removes his head. The souls are released. Akemi's spirit appears above Xena's head.

A's spirit: "Xena."

X: "Akemi."

A’s Spirit: "You’ve redeemed me. You’ve freed them!"

X: "Go in peace, Akemi. We’ll meet again-- one day."

G: "Xena-- the sun is setting. I have to bring you back to life."

Gabrielle looks at the setting sun and then looks around for the urn. She sees it by the edge of the fountain, open. The wind is blowing around what’s left of the ashes…the urn is almost empty.

G: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Xena looks past Gabrielle at the overturned urn. She feels Gabrielle's pain.

X: "Gabrielle…Gabrielle, listen to me-- the souls are free…you did it."

Gabrielle is devastated. She sinks to her knees.

G: "At what cost Xena---I didn't save you..."

X: "No...no...Gabrielle...the greater good, that's all that matters...they’re free from Yodoshi’s grasp."

G: "But, Xena-- that is not fair [Cries]. You’re all that matters to me."

They kiss. Gabrielle leans her head down on Xena’s chest.

G: "Just once I want us to be the greater good. I love you, Xena. How am I supposed to go on without you?"

X: "I’ll always be with you, Gabrielle. Always."

Xena closes her eyes.

G (whispers): "Oh, Xena..."

Gabrielle holds her body as she watches the sun set.



EXT: Ship--dusk


Gabrielle is standing on the deck. She is dressed in new Warrior garb…not quite like Xena’s but more leather than normal. On her boots are her sais, on her back is the katana, and on her hip is the chakram.

She stares sadly into the water and then at the receding coastline. The sun is setting.


EXT: Lush southern Greece, a vineyard-day


(Can’t be too predictable <.G.>)

A cart, carrying casks, being pulled by two black horses, makes its way up a dirt road; on either side are grape vines. A young man, early thirties, is driving the cart. He stops the cart in front of a medium sized cabin. He jumps down and heads for the door.


INT: Cabin

Rustic but homey cabin. Rough hewn but function furniture. Gabrielle (older but still dazzling <.G.>) is sitting at a table, parchment in front of her, quill in hand, deep in thought. She hears a knock on the door, which brings her out of her reverie. She gets up and answers it.

G: "Dimitri, it’s good to see you…when did you get back?"

She hugs him.

Dimitri [D]: "Just now, I’m on my way home. The wine was a big success, I have a lot of orders."

G: "It could have waited until tomorrow. You look like you could use some rest, you’ve been gone almost a moon and I’m sure Sarah missed you."

D: "Yes, it can wait…but, I was asked to deliver a personal message to you."

He hands her a scroll. She looks at it puzzled.

G: "From Athens?"

She hugs him again and practically pushes him out the door.

G: "Go home...get some rest...see you tomorrow...no, make it day after...go spend some time with my niece."

D: "I’m going, I’m going…thank you Gabrielle."

Dimitri gets back in the cart and starts for home. He waves at Gabrielle who waves back. She shuts the door, goes and sits back down at the table. She breaks the seal on the parchment and reads it. She smiles a little and sets the parchment aside. She picks up her quill and adds one more line to the scroll she was working on, then re-reads a section. She looks up and stares into space.

[insert clip montage from events in Japan...the last clip being a shot of the fountain and some of the ashes floating on the water]

Gabrielle, is brought out of her remembrances by the sound of a door opening...a slight shuffle (footsteps) is heard.


CUT TO: a shot of leather clad legs, two booted feet and a crutch/cane, the person is moving slowly forward, with a slight limp.


CUT BACK TO: shot of Gabrielle. She rolls up the parchment and sets it aside, just as a hand lights on her shoulder. A low raspy voice asks who it was at the door.

G: "That was Dimitri, your new vintage was a success. He has lots of orders. And..."

She covers the hand on her shoulder with her own.

G: "They want my new play in Athens."

Camera pulls back and we see Xena (older, a little gray in those dark locks but still gorgeous <.BG.>), who obviously has lost the use of her sword arm and is also using a crutch/cane. You can see the old burn scarring on her neck above the tunic collar, which explains the damage causing the raspy voice. She leans in and kisses Gabrielle on the top of her head.

X: "Well, now..."

She looks at Gabrielle and tilts her head, as if asking for permission.

G: "Oh, go ahead, you know you want to...go ahead...say it..."

X: "Seems like we both have many skills."

Xena grins at Gabrielle who grins back.

(Y’know that cute way where Renée crinkles her nose <.sigh.>)


X: "So Bard of mine, when do we leave? Can’t keep your admirers waiting."

G: "Couple of days?"

X: "Where you go, I go..."

[Big smiles]

Fade out.


Xena and Gabrielle lived happily ever after, live with it.

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