Brain: Pinky? Are you pondering what I am pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain but what if the moose won’t wear the nylons…
Brain: No Pinky! I’m thinking that we can use this Challenge to spread our message throughout the ‘Verse.
Pinky: Egad! You astound me, Brain!
Brain: That’s a simple task, Pinky.
Title: A Blonde, Two Brunettes And A Redhead…
Authors: Pinky and the Brain
Author’s Note (Brain): By right of superior intelligence, I am best suited to take the lead on this Challenge endeavor, so why does Pinky get top billing?
Author’s Note (Pinky): Who’s Arthur, Brain? Narf!
The seagull flapped menacingly as she ducked the flying Frisbee... again. It was obvious that they were now aiming for her.
"Hey watch it, you rotten kid!! Think you’re tough, do ya? Why I oughta....” She snickered. “Y'know, I paid your Daddy's convertible a visit... glad you left the top down. That should teach you to try to feed me alka seltzer... ya little hoods." She stopped squawking at them. "Although it did take care of that heartburn from that piece of hotdog I ate."
The bird stepped sideways when she felt another bird land along side the railing on the board walk. "Hey, who are you?"
"I'm Vizzy. I just flew in from the coast."
"And boy, are your arms tired... ba dum dum." She snickered.
Vizzy rolled her eyes and promptly whacked the back of the first gull’s head with her wing.
"Hey! Dizzy... Tizzy....”
“Whatever your name is... I know people... one word from me and you'll be dinner for a gator."
"Ew, tough gull... I'm scared." She paused. "NOT! Been there, done that."
She stared at the gull. “And you are...?”
“Hestianvirginvestalgideon.” She winked. “But you can call me Snoopy.”
Vizzy shook her head to try and clear her confusion, then decided to look up and down the beach at all the people instead. "Dude, this place is totally overloaded with humans. What do you do for fun around this bitchin' joint?"
"Well, I go roller skating and hang gliding and shopping. Oh and I keep patiently waiting for the locals to give me a designer makeover and dress me up like the rest of the wildlife."
Vizzy interrupted, “Babe, if they dress you up like that four-legged, you so need to peck them. Who the hell ever heard of a pink and fluffy hotdog??"
A beat accompanied by a glare. "What do you mean what do I do for fun??? I'm a gull. I sit, eat, watch, repeat. Occasionally, I pay those lovely expensive cars across the street a visit." She laughed.
"I get it. We do the same in Cali only in the opposite direction." She flapped her wing on the right. "Whoa... dig that."
“I totally haven’t seen such radical curves and hills since I left the Pacific Coast Highway. Don’t you gnarly East Coast people believe in like, highway signs warning about things like that?”
“Yikes! Sure hope the drug store sold her suntan lotion when they sold her that dental floss.” Snoopy turned and looked at her own tail feathers. “Geez, that’s gotta hurt.” A shudder ran through her body. "Well, look at that one... the mountains have come to Miami."
“Heh... we’ve got lots of rad mountains like those walking around in Cali, too. Always wondered if they’d like pop if I landed on ‘em, ya know?” clenching her sharp nails together. She looked towards the water. “Hey, isn’t drinking and driving totally illegal here?”
"Oh, them? That's just the way we feed the sharks...tourist tartare. Those are some fugly shirts they are wearing. They must be straight guys. Unlike the fab-u-lous lifeguard who decorated that shack."
“Hmm... nice six-pack. Come to mama.” <ahem> “But isn’t the dude supposed to be wearing more than like a speedo, man?”
“Oh, he’s not the lifeguard. That’s the lifeguard.” Snoopy pointed her wing at another man.
“Mr Six Pack just likes to give people mouth to mouth. See…?” A slap was heard. “Ooh, bet he didn’t see that one coming.”
<Snort> “Serves him right – I’ll bet his mama taught him way better than that.” Vizzy looked around with interest. “Hey. You’ve got those bitchin’ bouncing dudettes here too – how cool is that?”
“Y’know, I just don’t understand them. They get the ball on one side and then just give it back... back and forth, back and forth... makes no sense. It just leaves me dizzy. They could be spending their time... oh hell-o there....” She flew off, leaving Vizzy puzzled.
“INCOMING!!” One chip later and Snoopy was coming around for another pass. “Hey lady, look behind you! Ha! Sucker!”
“Come back here, you thieving bird!”
Vizzy shook her head. Snoopy laughed as well as she could with her mouth full.
“Whad? Ya can’ ead jus’ one.”
“Maybe not… but even one is gonna make me totally toss my cookies.” She glared in the man’s direction. “Dude!! Do you wear that when you’re at home?? I’ve so been blinded for life!!”
“I shoulda kept my eyes on those bouncing babes.”
Snoopy turned and looked where Vizzy was pointing. “Ew, I think I’m gonna be sick too.” She then looked the other way. “Hey a wedding - you know what that means? Cake!”
“Ooooh… I so love cake, much to the detriment of my fab girlish figure,” preening a little bit and wiggling her tail feathers. “Should we, you know… like, follow them? Looks like they’ve totally chased everyone else away.”
“I think we should. It’s been a fun day. You’re really good at this people snarking.” Snoopy’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s what Mom meant.” She looked at Vizzy. “One good tern deserves another.”
Snoopy didn’t hear it but she sure felt it when it hit.
What? Title? What does a blonde, two brunettes and a redhead have to do with this story? Nothing. That’s a whole ‘nother story. I’d tell you but we don’t have any words left.