Picture - #20
DISCLAIMER: Story mine, Characters mine.
It’s Thursday again and I silently slipped into the pew. I wanted to pray but no words came. God I’m so lost. The love of my life died a year ago today, my Jane. She was young and beautiful and I miss her so badly. I come here to pray for answers and to beg for release from this pain but I get neither. Finally I have words more like a rant really. Damn it, talk to me! I’m here ok… you see me….you see everything right. She’s gone and I have nothing. Come on take me too…please!! HELLO NEED SOME HELP HERE!!
Today I wasn’t alone in the church. There was a young woman playing the piano practicing a song that was haunting and romantic. She played it several times while I sat letting the music caress my sorrow. She stopped mid song slowly turned her head and looked directly at me. Holding my eyes with hers she rose and slowly walked to where I sat.
“Hello”, she said smiling softly
“Hi” my response a whisper.
“How’d you like it?” her blue eyes wide with the question.
I just sat staring. She continued to smile. It was a nice smile. She casually ran a hand through her brown shoulder length hair. She has pretty hair.
Taking pity on me she continued, “It’s for a wedding on Saturday”
Finding a voice I replied. “Oh” Brilliant
She proceeded to sit in the pew in front of me her eyes never breaking contact. They are nice eyes. We sat looking at each other, me not knowing what to say, and what she felt I had no idea. She just sat there calm and silent. It was getting a little warm and I felt a bead of sweat ran lazily down the small of my back. She however looked comfortable with the climate control sitting there smiling.
“I saw you here last week”
She laughed softly and put her hand on my forearm, “Woman of few words I see.”
Great now I had another distraction, her hand sitting lightly on my arm, her beautiful blue eyes, that nice smile, the sweat running down my back. I may never get a sentence out of my mouth. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want this woman sitting there wanting me to talk. This all was unwanted and wrong. I’m lost and so empty, I miss Jane.
“Yes, I was here last Thursday…every Thursday.” Praise the Lord an actual sentence
She was watching me with warm and compassionate eyes, her smile now gone. When she started to speak I had to lean forward to hear her words. Her voice was low like a prayer and steady like a heart beat.
“I hear you, I always have. You’re not alone. I know your pain but it’s time to let go now Amanda, it’s time to live.
I flew out of my seat taking a step back. This maneuver put me right back into the seat hard. In contrast to hers my voice was loud and shaking. “Who the hell are you? How do you know my name? You don’t know me!
“God, because I’m God, and yes I do.” She was smiling again getting a kick out of her answer. Before I could speak she silenced me with a look. A light so bright started to radiate from her I had nowhere to go but to my knees.
“This woman whose body is before you is not God I just borrowed her for a minute. Her name is Lori by the way, nice lady.” She smiled impishly and continued, “What you and Jane had was a special gift but Jane has moved on and you have to move on too. Life is out there waiting Amanda. There will be love again just open your eyes and your heart.”
Overwhelmed I said the first thing to come to my head, “I was starting to think impure thoughts about you. What if I hit on you?” Again brilliant
Her laugh filled the church making it sound like a cathedral. “Well that’s a good start.”
“It’s time Amanda. I will always be here when you need me.” In the sound of a sigh and a wisp of air she was gone.
My eyes snapped open. I felt disoriented and slightly nauseous my heart beating so quick and pushing at my chest. While I willed myself to breathe I heard the music.
There was a young woman playing the piano practicing a song that was haunting and romantic. She played it several times while I sat letting the music caress my soul. She stopped mid song slowly turned her head and looked directly at me and smiled. Holding her eyes with mine I rose and slowly walked to the front of the church and stood by the piano.
“Hello” I said with a smile.
“Hi” she answered her smile matching my own.
“How’d you like it?” she asked her blue eyes wide with the question.
She continued to smile. It was a nice smile. She casually ran a hand through her brown shoulder length hair. She has pretty hair.
“It’s beautiful. They’ll love it at the wedding. Good luck Saturday Lori” I turned and started to walk back down the isle.
Lori was stunned but found her voice, “How did you…the wedding…my name?
I turned back to her and we stood looking at each other, me knowing and waiting, her confused and uncertain.
As she quickly began to pack up her things, looking up she shyly smiled and asked, “I’d like to buy you a cup of coffee, that’s if you would like.” Would you?”
I thought of Jane then, how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. She was gone and I have a life that needed to be lived.
Looking into Lori’s beautiful blue eyes I answered, “It’s time”