Remembering Genevieve

By Amanda Calkins

Disclaimers: Xena and Gabrielle and everyone who looks like them don't belong to me. Blah Blah. PLUS this is big. I didn't write any of the music in this story. It all belongs to Tim McGraw, Terri Clark, Jo Dee Messina, and Sara Evans.

Sex and love: There are a coupla these between two women if this is illegal where you live or you for some strange reason don't like it. Bye see you later.

Violence: Sorry there is a RAPE scene, big caution sign right there, don't precede if you can't handle it. It is a little vulgar. I tried to tone it down really I did. It is necessary as part of the story though. Hope you like it.

Thanks to Michael for the beta reading you rock totally dude.

"Famous Country singer Demitria Daniels is up for three nomination at this year's CMA's. She has been nominated for best..."

Demitria clicked off the radio in her car not wanting to hear yet again what she was nominated for. Can't listen to good country music anymore without hearing my damn music or something about me, she thought. It wasn't that she was ungrateful for all that she had been given, she was very grateful, she just felt undeserving. She sang the kind of country made famous by teeny boppers, she called it bubble gun country. She was sick of singing songs with no depth or meaning and had always wanted to write her own music but couldn't find the inspiration in anything, which left her feeling numb and empty.

She sighed as she came to stop at a red light. She glanced at the Cabriolet next to her and had to force herself not to jump out of her skin at the sight of a pair of green eyes that reminded her so much of a past she wanted to forget.

"Genevieve." She looked straight ahead as she was transported back in time. She saw an eighteen year old girl sitting in the drivers seat of an old red rag top. She had the greenest eyes in the world, long strawberry blonde hair and a face that shined with tears.



"I am so sorry, I just can't love you anymore."

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

"It's not you Demitria, I just can't love anymore."

She was brought back to the present by a car horn honking. She looked up to see the light was green. She put her foot on the accelerator and took off.

She drove up to the her house, never home, she thought sadly, and got out of the car. She walked up the front steps of her white mansion which had once sat on a plantation in Georgia. It now resided in Nashville, Tennessee.

A man in a grey suit opened the door and took her coat. "Welcome home Ms. Daniels, shall I go put your car away?" She nodded her head as she deposited her keys in his hand and mumbled a short thank you.

She walked to the end of the entrance hall and went through a small wooden door and into her study. She plopped down in her plush leather chair and looked darkly down at her oak desk which she couldn't see because of all the papers and mail and other miscellaneous things that littered her desk. Across from her desk sat two straight backed chairs that were meant to be uncomfortable so people wouldn't stay long. However she did have two armchairs and a couch across the room by a large bookshelf that was built in the wall. Those were quite comfortable. She had fallen asleep in one of those many a night when a cold lonely bed just wasn't something she could handle. The fireplace behind her already had a nice fire lit in it.

She smiled at the nice touches her butler, Nialls, put into everything. He didn't have to light the fire, but he did, he didn't have to put her car away but he did. He really had very little to do. She had a maid that cleaned, and did her best to steal as much as possible. His only jobs were to answer the phone, take messages when she wasn't home or wasn't receiving phone calls and answer the door. The cook went the store for food and the maid went for anything else that was needed. The rest of the time was his to do as he wished, he usually kept busy. She suggested on more than on occasion that he come to her study to read. She knew he was a lover of books as much as she herself was. He had helped her make her collection of books from all over the world a large one. He had agreed but he would only read when she wasn't home. He wanted to always be ready if there was anything she needed. He admitted to waiting to finish a paragraph before answering the phone or door. She had told him that was alright and encouraged him to read when she was there but he wouldn't hear of it. "A good butler would never make his boss wait," he always said. She had let it go every time he said it but they both knew it would be brought up again in the near future.

She smiled indulgently over at the bookcase in front of her thinking of the old man that was much too good to her. She walked over to the bookcase and looked for a book that would take her mind off the world. After all that is why she first fell in love with books. Coming from an abusive broken home, she had always tried to find ways to forget her life and find another and for a few hours a day she found many different lives to live.

She picked out an old favorite from when she was a kid. She had read this book so many times over the years she probably had it memorized but she never could put it down. As she opened it something fell from it, a picture. As she reached down to get it she fell from her perch on the couch and collapsed on the floor. A green eyed girl looked back at her smiling sitting on the hood of an old red rag top. She closed her eyes as images flooded her mind.

It was a warm summers evening. Demitria was sitting on the porch of her first starter home as a red rag top pulled up in front of her house. She hopped off the porch and went over to the car and got in.

"Hey stranger," she said before she pulled a young blonde into her arms and gave her a passionate kiss.

"Mmm Demitria, I have missed you so much. I'm never going on vacation again. A week was way too long to be away from you. You know I saw you when I was on vacation." The little blonde smiled at her partners puzzled look. "I saw your beautiful blue eyes in the ocean water. So beautiful. I saw your black hair in the night sky. So clear I could see every star like glitter in your hair. I saw your beautiful body on this hot island chick..."

"HEY NOW! You better not have been checking out any hot island chicks." Demitria kissed her again knowing she was only kidding. They sat in her driveway just holding each other glad to be together again.

"Seriously now Genevieve did you like Hawaii?"

"Yes I did but I would have liked it better with you there. Sometimes I felt so lonely. Especially on the beach where all the people were. All of those couples holding hands and kissing. I missed you so much. I loved sitting alone on the beach watching the waves for you. I knew you were there." Genevieve looked up at her lover who was fighting back tears.

"Gen, you always did have a way with words you know?" Demitria dipped her head close to Genevieve's ear and whispered, "Why don't we just stay here tonight? I missed you so much, I need you so much Gen."

Genevieve shivered in Demitria's arms and nodded her head yes, she had decided on the trip that she was ready to give Demitria the one thing that meant more to her than anything, her innocence, her virginity. Demitria had never pushed her but had always let her know that everything went at Genevieve's pace. Demitria was opening the door before she had even known Demitria had gotten out of the car. Demitria held out her hand and Genevieve took it. They walked inside and...

Demitria was suddenly yanked back into the present by a knock at the door. Nialls walked in and said, "Phone call for you Miss."

"Who is it Nialls?"

"Your mother Miss, and before you tell me to tell her your not here she told me to tell you she knows you're here, she is on her cell phone on her way over." He smiled at the dark look she gave him. She was stuck and they both knew it.

"Alright I'll take the call in here." Nialls walked towards the door but hesitated before leaving. "I know you want to say something Nialls, just say it."

"Actually Miss I wanted to ask if you were all right. I walked in to find you on the floor with a sad look in your eyes. It worried me miss."

"Thank you Nialls, I am fine. I was just thinking of a past I just can't seem to forget."

He nodded and walked out the door. He knew nothing of her past except that she tried her hardest to forget it. He never asked either. It wasn't his business. He looked back at the study door saddened at the young girl so full of sadness he wished he could get rid of. He thought of this girl like a daughter he never had. He felt helpless when it came to repairing a past that wasn't repairable.

Demitria picked up the phone and let out a long suffering sigh before bringing it to her ear. "Hello mother," she said as happily as she could although she was not in the mood.

"Don't you hello mother me, I heard that sigh. Why have you been avoiding me Demitria? I had to practically force that butler Nile or what ever his name is, to let me talk to you. You are my daughter I should be able to talk to you any time I want. What is wrong with you Demitria? You are so ungrateful for everything I have ever done for you, you know?"

"Are you done mother?"

"Yes. Not that you listened to a damn thing I said."

"Mother, I have been avoiding you because you disagree with my whole life, that doesn't make for good conversation. The butler's name is NIALLS. Learn it. I am very grateful for everything you did for me up till the time I told you I was gay and you kicked me out of the house. Ever since then you have done nothing but give me shit. Plus I told Nialls to tell you I wasn't here. Ever. So don't beat up on my butler for what I did. He is a good man, no matter what you say."

"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH!!! How dare you! I was in labor with you for TWENTY-SEVEN hours! Do you know how painful that was??"

"No mother I don't and I'm sorry, it will never happen again."

She heard a click and a knock on the door. Her mother had just simultaneously hung up on her and knocked on the door. She sat back in her chair and sighed, this really is the last thing I need, my day has been way to stressful and over emotional. She grimaced when her mother walked in the study and sat down opposite her. She had ratty brown hair and dead brown eyes. Eyes the girl inside Demitria had always feared. Those eyes weren't always dead, sometimes they were so filled with hate for the daughter that hadn't been wanted.

Nialls walked in behind her mother and went to clean up the mess of book and picture on the floor, he always found some odd job to do in the room her mother was in. As if he was there for moral support, she smiled her thank you when he walked in.

"Miss Maureen, would you like anything to drink?" Nialls asked before setting the book and picture in front of Demitria.

"No, not now, that will be all I need to talk to my daughter in priv..." Her voice stopped when she saw the picture sitting in front of Demitria. He picked up a duster that Demetria kept in her study since she cleaned it mostly. She never let the maid in. Nialls did a little cleaning when she wasn't looking. He dusted the books and bookcase as he listened for a time that he would be needed.

Maureen snatched the picture up before Demitria could grab it to put it away. "WHAT are you doing with a picture of this floozy? This little tramp is what got you to think you were gay. Then she left you and you think you still love her. As if this kind of disgusting love is even possible. You don't need this anymore." Maureen had ripped and shredded all other pictures of Genevieve but this one had never been found. She was about to rip it when it was snatched away by Nialls.

"Excuse my reach Miss Maureen. I need to put this away."

Demitria smiled her thanks and looked back at her mother with such hate in her eyes. "I loved her, I still love her, I will always love her. Get that through your head mother." Demitria stood and went over to her mothers side of the desk. Her mother stood also trying to gain some height on her daughter but her mother's 5'6" frame was nothing on her 6' frame. "You welcome was worn out in my house all those years ago when you kicked me out of yours. Please leave."

Maureen huffed and puffed and mumbled all the way to the door about her ungrateful daughter and the cheep floozy who pretended to love her. She slammed the door before Nialls could catch it.

Demitria looked at the clock in the front hall. "Ten pm, she came late because she knows I have no life outside of music. Great. Nialls I'm going up to bed. I have to leave early tomorrow, interviews and all that." She smiled at the old man and turned around to go up the grand staircase.

Nialls looked up the stairs to the retreating figure and frowned. So much hate in one small family. His family had been filled with warmth and love. He couldn't understand how a mother could hate her daughter so much. He knew Demitria had tried to hold onto the love she felt for her mother, but her mother never returned it and it made love very hard to hold onto.

Demitria undressed not bothering to get into any night clothes and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She dreamed of a life that had left her behind and of two green eyes that held her heart forever.

Demetria jumped in the red rag top as it pulled up in front of her house. "Hey Gen, where to?"

"Hey Demi, it's a suprise." She leaned over and kissed Demitria. It had been a week since that night Demitria had taken her virginity. She loved Demitria even more now. She never thought it was possible to hold anymore love in her heart but every day she was learning it was very possible. Genevieve put the car in drive and drove off to a place both of them knew well.

Demitria smiled as they pulled up in a secluded dead end road in the middle of nowhere. Where the stars were the brightest lights. The girls got out and got in back. When they got back there Demitria put her arms around Genevieve, thinking they would just watch the stars until the sun came up like they always did. Genevieve pulled away slightly to reach up and turn on the radio. A song she absolutely loved was on. She turned it up as it got started.

Do you wanna be a poet and write

Do you wanna be an actor up in lights

Do you wanna be a soldier and fight for love

Do you wanna travel the world

Do you wanna be a diver for pearls

Or climb a mountain and touch the clouds above

Be anyone you want to be

Bring to life your fantasies

But I want something in return

I want you to burn

Burn for me, baby

Like a candle in my night

Oh, burn

Burn for me, burn for me

Are you gonna be a gambler and deal

Are you gonna be a doctor and heal

Or go to heaven and touch God's face

Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps

Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps

Or an angel under grace

I'll lay down on your bed of coals

Offer up my heart and soul

But in return

I want you to burn

Burn for me, baby

Like a candle in my night

Oh, burn

Burn for me, burn for me

I want you to burn, baby, oh

Laugh for me, cry for me

Pray for me, fly for me

Live for me, die for us

I want you to burn

Burn for me, baby

Like a candle in my night

Oh, burn

Burn for me, burn for me

She leaned back into Demitria and gave her a kiss that made her toes curl. "Mmm Demi, make love to me, here now, under the stars. I need you."

It was all the prompting Demitria needed she lowered Genevieve to the seat of the car and slowly stripped her of all clothing. She took off all of hers as well and just laid there holding her and kissing her, relishing in the feeling of skin on skin. "I want to taste every part of your body Gen."

Gen blushed but managed a small, "who's stopping you?"

Demitria's mouth burned Genevieve's body leaving her squirming and wanting more. As soon as Demitria's mouth found her core she cried out in ecstacy. She moved with Demitria in a rhythm known in every person. Just as she was about to come she grabbed Demitria's head and pushed it closer. "Oh please, don't stop."

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. Demitria shot up in bed and slammed her hand down on the alarm clock next to her. She laid back in bed reflecting on her dream. She hadn't thought of Genevieve in so long. Then that girl yesterday could have passed for her. I don't need this right now, so much is happening to me right now, I need to forget about Genevieve, forever and just move on.

She hopped out of bed and into a cold shower. As she felt the water cascading down her body she felt the heat of her dream go down the drain with the cold water. She hopped out of the shower and got dressed just as a knock came at the door.

"Yo Demitria its me! Open up, you are not going to your interviews lookin' like the wet rat I know you are lookin' like girlfriend. Open this door before I get bitchy on your ass."

Demetria smiled at Peter as she opened the door. He was always so hyper. That might be because his boyfriend was also always hyper. They had to have kept each other hyper. He took her by the shoulders and pushed her down on her vanity seat, he picked out an outfit for her and then left the room as she changed out of the outfit she had chosen for herself. She didn't even know why she got dressed anymore, he never liked what she had chosen for herself. She always had to admit though, he always chose the best. She decided from now on just to stay in her robe. No need to dress twice.

She opened the door when she was done and Peter came in chattering away about his life and fashion today. She smiled indulgently as he did her hair in a tight bun at the back of her head, he always said it brought out the beautiful bone structure of her face. He did light makeup never wanting to put much on her, he always said she was a natural beauty.

"Fabulous darlin' absofreakinlutely fabulous. You are a work of art." He stepped back and smiled at her.

She looked at herself in the mirror and frowned, no matter how much I hope he can't do miracles and turn me into someone else, anyone else. She looked up at him, "good job."

"Oh I am so convinced right now that you believe that."

She smiled at his frown, "You can't do what I want you to, it really is a great job. No one can do what I want."

He frowned even more, "What more can I do for you darlin?"

"Make me someone else." She got up gave him a slight hug and walked out the door. He didn't comment just followed in silence. He always stayed with her whenever she had public affairs to deal with. To do touch ups and such. Why she would want to be someone else though I haven't the slightest idea, this girl has it all.

Demitria spent the whole talking in interviews about her newest CD "Party Cowgirls". She talked about the process of picking each song and making them and what she will be doing to promote the CD. She talked about the upcoming CMA's and how excited she was to be nominated for Best song, Best Female Artist and, Album of the year.

She walked out of her last interview and straight up to her manager. "Art, I just lied to each and every one of those interviewers. I just want you to know so that when they come out in the papers and on the news saying I am so excited about the upcoming CMA's you'll know, its all a damn lie." She glared at the man who had helped her make it to the top by keeping her biggest secret and not letting her tell it to anyone. At first she had wanted to keep it a secret but when she had gotten a fan base that she felt comfortable with she wanted to come out, and to pick her own music, not leave it up to Art. He had said if she came out he would make sure the label dropped her and he would make sure no other label would pick her up. "Why is it Art that you hate that I'm gay?"

"I don't hate that your gay, I just am not going to let you ruin your career by coming out to an audience who won't accept you. You are coming out to the wrong crowd when you come out to the country crowd."

"I don't care if I never sell another record, if I never win an award and if the world hates me, as long as its me that they are hating and not some imposter."

"Its bigger and more complicated than all that."


"Just give it up, its not gonna happen."

"I could fire you."

"Yeah and the record label could drop you, I could get you blacklisted."

"Not if I do it to you first."

He stormed up to her and being an inch taller than her he was able to be a little intimidating, "Don't threaten me Ms. Daniels, you have too many secrets that I keep for you to be threatening me."

"Like what?"


She gasped and stepped back, no one knew about Genevieve, how could he have found out about that. "How?"

"I have my connections, I know everything about your relationship, everything. Including a little visit to a doctors office I'm sure you would like if no one knew."

"You wouldn't."

"I would Ms. Daniels, while your career does well so does mine. I can't afford to let you give it up. So be a good girl smile for the cameras and lie through your teeth, because dearest you belong to me until I decide to let you go."

I have to find a way to get rid of him without him finding out until it is too late to do anything about. She walked away smiling as a plan came to mind. It was lucky for her he never saw her smile so he wasn't ready for what was to come next. Her mind was whirling as she found her muse in the face of a man who would destroy her spirit. A song sprang to life about a green eyed girl and her red rag top.

She went straight home and called up an old friend and asked her to come over soon. "I have a job for you to do, it is top secret from anyone, I have a song in my head, I need it written and recorded. Can you do it."

"You know I can chica, I'll be over tomorrow at noon."

Demitria lied down on the sofa in her den and switched on the TV, not feeling like reading or going to her lonely bed. She switched on the evening news.

The news caster was talking about a brutal rape that had happened earlier that week. "Ms. Gardner was raped in a back alley off 42nd st." A picture flashed of a smiling green eyed girl with blonde hair. "The hospital has told us that Ms. Gardner is fine but she is pregnant. It is unknown what she will do at this point. He mother has a few words to say."

"If anyone knows who did this to my baby please come forward. She didn't deserve this and she needs closure on this. Please help us."

Tears flowed down Demitria's cheeks as she fell into a fitful sleep.

"Please someone help me, help me."

"Shut up bitch." He struck her twice across the face with his fist. She started crying as she struggled to get out of his iron tight grip. Why did I come down this alley. I know better. He freed his member from his pants and pushed it roughly into her. She cried out in pain. DEMITRIA!!! She screamed in her mind trying to find a way to communicate with the girl who was only two blocks away from her. She felt her assailant tense above her as she felt a hot liquid poor into her body from his member.

Suddenly she heard a scream from behind him, even though she couldn't see she knew who it was. "GENEVIEVE!" She heard hard footsteps and Demitria ran closer. She pulled the assailant off of Genevieve and began punching and kicking him. She didn't stop until she heard a whimper coming from a dark spot against the wall. She walked over the crouching figure of Genevieve and picked her up.

"Come on baby, its going to be alright I'm going to take you to the hospital." Genevieve sobbed against her shoulder and clung tightly to her. Demitria carried her over to her car and put her in the passenger seat and looked around in her coat pockets for the keys. "Its gonna be ok Gen, hold on, it'll all be ok."


"Yes sweetheart?"

"Take me to your place."

"Baby you need to go the hospital."

Genevieve started to cry as she slid over and clung to Demitria. "I can't go there. I don't want them touching me. You can take care of me. I don't care if he's never caught. I need to be clean again and I need you to hold me. Demi I need to be with you right now. Please Demi, please."

Demetria leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Anything for you love." Genevieve was asleep by the time they got back to Demitria's house. She picked her up hoping not to wake her and carried her inside. She set Genevieve on her bed and took off all of her clothes. She almost threw up when she saw the bruises on her legs and lower abdomen. She had already seen the ones on her face. She ran a lukewarm bath and went back and picked up Genevieve. She whispered before setting her in, "this is gonna hurt baby girl, I'm sorry."

Genevieve made small moans of pain as she was set in the water. Demitria washed her hair and then the rest of her body. It took everything she had not to throw up when she was cleaning her legs and in between. After she was done she picked Genevieve up and wrapped her in a towel. She set her back on the bed and dried her off. She hadn't realized that Genevieve was quite awake and had been since she was set in the water. She just wasn't feeling up to doing anything at the moment. She wasn't really feeling up to living.

Demitria walked away from the small girl laying on her bed and whispered, "lets find you something comfortable to sleep in." She got a plain t-shirt and some boxer shorts and went over the bed to put them on Genevieve.

She pulled the shirt over her head and was about to put her arms through the holes when they did it on their own. She looked up to see teary eyes looking at her. She didn't know what to say to the small girl who looked even smaller now. So she said nothing and helped her pull the boxers on. She lied Genevieve back and brushed her hair away from her face. "Your gonna be ok punkin'. There is no bleeding and I am going to go get you a cold cloth for your face. Hopefully the swelling will go down. Your gonna be tender for a couple of weeks I'm sure but in the end your gonna be ok." She gave Genevieve her best smile but inside she was dying at the vacant expression in the lifeless green eyes. "I'll be right back."

She went into her small kitchen and ran the water for a couple of minutes before sticking a bowl under it and filling it with water. She took a wash cloth out of the drawer and put it in the water and walked back into the bedroom. Genevieve was still awake but her expression was blank. Demitria sat down on the edge of the bed and laid the cloth on the side of her face where she had been punched. "You have a black eye and a split lip and a really bad bruise. Do you fell like your cheek bone is broken to you? It feels intact to me but your pretty swollen here so I may not be able to feel it right."

Genevieve just looked at her not saying a word. Demitria understood and didn't push the issue. She hoped nothing was broken. "Go to sleep baby girl, I will be here all night to protect you, no one will hurt you." Demitria kept her promise staying up all night holding Genevieve and keeping a cool cloth on her face. She had also stuck one between her legs and she replaced it every once in a while in hopes of getting rid of some of the pain she knew Genevieve would be in.

"Miss Demitria," Nialls called as he tried to shake the young singer awake. "Miss Demitria."

"What? What? I'm awake!" She opened her eyes and looked up at Nialls, "oh hey Nialls."

"You fell asleep again on the couch. You know your bed it much more comfortable."

"Much lonelier too."

"Miss Demitria I know its non of my business but you really should go out and find some friends, maybe even a lady friend to bring home with you."

"I just don't feel like it Nialls. Have I ever told you why I am alone Nialls. You have to notice that it is by choice that I am alone."

"No Demi," he said referring to her nickname when they were having a personal chat. "Yes I do know about the girls who call here and the girls who fawn over you and would love you in a minute. If only you would come out and take one of them as your lady friend I know you would be happy."

"Actually I don't think I would be. I don't come out because my manager has a secret that he holds over my head. That secret keeps me unhappy and secluded. I would actually like to tell you, one because you are such a great guy, like a father almost, and two because your gonna find out today anyway. When I was 18 I met this really great girl that was two years behind me in school. She and I were great friends for about a year until we came out to each other because we wanted to go out with each other." Demitria smiled as she remembered that day.

Genevieve saw Demitria sitting by herself in the garden of her mother's house. Genevieve had been afraid Demitria would no longer want to be friends with a highschool student now that she had graduated but Demitria had stayed close and they saw each other almost daily. Genevieve didn't want to spoil all that but she had to get this off of her chest.

"Demitria can I talk to you?"

"Of course. Pull up a piece of ground."

Genevieve smiled as she sat down next to Demitria. She took a deep breath, "This is really hard to say because it could really burn me. I hope you understand even if you don't feel the same way I do."

Demitria smiled down at the beautiful girl, no woman, sitting beside her, ready to bare her heart.

"Demitria, I'm gay. I know that you are accepting of that you've always told me that you view people who are gay as regular people, and we are. On top of that however I think I have fallen in love with wait. I know I love you Demitria. If you want me to forget about it and pretend like I don't love you I think I can do that but I wanted to tell you."

Genevieve refused to look up into Demitria's eyes. She was too afraid of what she would see there. She felt a gentle hand under her chin as she looked up into smiling blue eyes. "I love you too Genevieve Nicole Backster." Demitria lowered her mouth to Genevieve's and gave her a soft peck. She was so nervous about hitting noses and teeth that she didn't stay long but Genevieve pulled her back down into a deep passionate perfect kiss. They both opened their eyes and looked at each other smiling. They had spent the rest of the day walking and talking to each other. Stealing kisses when no one could see them.

Nialls smiled at the sweet story of when the two girls told each other they loved each other.

"The relationship had its flaws like any other. We had to hide from everyone. We fought over weather we were ashamed of each other because both of us refused to tell anyone. We both got over that quickly. Well after about six months I decided I wanted to tell my mother. I loved Genevieve and I wanted my mother to quit trying to find me boys. So I sat her down and told her the whole story.

"Mom, would you quit calling boy's mothers and come talk to me for a moment. I have a date for this Saturday night. I don't need to find me one."

Maureen Daniels smiled at her daughter and came over to give her a hug. "Oh great! What's his name? I want to meet him."

"Mom would you listen to me for one second? It's not a boy. It's a girl mom. I am gay. That is what I have been trying to tell you for the last three hours."

"Demitria Anne Daniels, you don't know what the hell your talking about. know, that thing, its disgusting. You are not..."

"What mom? Gay? Yes I very much am. I am also very much in love with Genevieve."

"You mean that little girl who is always hanging around you?"

"She's not a little girl mom, she's 17 years old. She and I are dating and have been for 6 months now."

"Well that is just disgusting, I think it would be best if you moved out of this house until you get over this crazy disgusting notion of yours."

Demitria watched as her mother walked off. As simple as that her mother had kicked her out. She had expected as much.

"I went and stayed with my grandmother until I could get a little one bedroom starter house. She helped me with the down payment and then signed for the house. She ended up paying for the house for the first couple of years. Then I moved out and the next person who moved in paid me in full for the house, so I paid my gramma back and paid off the mortgage. That was when I started in the music business and moved into a small apartment in down town Nashville. Anyway, back to my story. Genevieve and I spent a lot of time together and. A year after we got together she went on vacation and we spent a week apart from each other. It was the most time we had ever spent away from each other since we had met. I know a week isn't much but when your twenty and in love it is forever. When she got back, well lets just say her and I consummated our relationship. A couple of months later she was raped. I got to her just after the rape. A month after the rape we found out she was pregnant. She was in her last year of school and I didn't have a job. So we went to a clinic and she got an abortion. We swore to each other that night that we would always be together."

A red rag top was sitting on a dead end in the middle of nowhere with two girls crying for their loss on the inside. Genevieve was sitting curled up in Demitria's lap holding her stomach which, a few hours ago had held a child. She was crying softly for the loss of a child which the world would never get the opportunity to know.


"Yes sweetheart?"

"Please don't stop loving me."

Demetria kissed the top of her head and made a vow that she would never take back. "I will always love you."

"A week later we were driving around the country side when she parked in a favorite hide away dead end we always went to. She told me she couldn't love me anymore. The next day her mother called me. She had disappeared from her bed in the middle of the night. No one has heard from her since. Within the next week my mother had found out that she had disappeared and she had come over to my house. Telling me that I didn't need any reminders of her. She ripped up all of her pictures and threw everything away. I had one picture, my favorite tucked away in that book. I haven't read that book since before she left. I forgot that picture was even in there. Thank you for saving it by the way."

"Do you have any idea where she is?" Nialls asked.

"Not a clue. Her mother and I talk about once a year. We kinda leaned on each other after Genevieve left. She was very accepting of Genevieve and I." Demitria started crying. She was trying very hard not to cry but it just wasn't working. "God Nialls, I still love her. I will always lover her. I don't want anyone else."

"That is the secret Art is holding over your head? How is that so bad?"

"I don't want anyone to know about the abortion. I had an idea though. On what I'm going to do to get away from him, get a new manager, and come out to the country community. Maybe I will even find my Genevieve again."

"It's been ten years Demi. She is likely to be very different than you remember her. Rape and abortion can do things to a person. Things that you wouldn't understand."

Demitria shook her head in understanding. Nialls oldest daughter should be thirty now, Demetria's age, but she had killed herself after she was raped and found out she was pregnant. She had killed herself and her unborn baby. It had been only a month after Nialls had started working for her. She had given him six months off with pay, he had only taken two weeks, he had told her that he needed to get on with his life. His daughter's body was only dead, her spirit would live forever. She had cried when he told her that. It was very beautiful.

"Nialls, I am going to go get a bath, if a woman named Kitty shows up send her in here and tell her where she can plug things in at. She should be here any minute. I slept forever," she said looking at her watch. It was 11:45 am.

"Sorry Miss," Nialls said.

"It wasn't your fault Nialls. It was mine. I should have slept in my own bed. Like you said." She went up stairs to get a shower and get into some clean clothes.

When she came back down she heard soft piano music, she smiled when she realized Kitty must have been here. She walked in to find a woman her age with spiked pink hair, dark brown eyes, black on every inch of her body including her finger nails and lips. Demitria opened her arms in welcome to her friend. "Kitty you're here. I am so glad. I have missed you girl. It has been at least a month since you have darkened my doorstep."

"Yeah, yeah. People only call Miss Kitty when they need something." Kitty stepped into Demitria's arms and started groping her. "Please tell me you need me terribly, I haven't gotten any in two whole weeks."

Demitria was laughing as she detached herself from Kitty. "Kitty your insatiable."

"Thanks legs. So what do you need from Miss Kitty?"

"My song, I need you to help me write it and record it. I want to change record labels and managers quietly. So quietly no one, not even my manager and record label will know."

"You have come to the right place my friend. Lets get to work. Do you have the song goin' on in your head."

"Oh yes. I could sing this song in my sleep."

"Alright girl, sing into the mike. Don't move your head. After we have the song recorded we will add backups, instrumental. Then we will record it again with all that goin' on and get you set up with a bang up manager I know who will do you wonders. He will get you signed with anyone you want."

The two women worked the rest of the day and well into the night before what Demitria was hearing in her head was now being heard in her ears. "Perfect Kitty."

"So do I get a treat?" Kitty asked winking at Demitria.

"I can send Nialls out to get some cat nip." Demitria smiled as she helped Kitty load all of her equipment into her van.

"So what about your band? Are you gonna leave them behind?"

"I have to, they are tied to Art. I'm gonna have to get a new one. I don't think I really liked any member of that band anyway."

The next day Demitria was found sitting on her couch in her study reading. Nialls walked with the cordless phone in his hand. "Miss Demitria, a Mr. Donald Harris for you. Says its about Miss Kitty."

Demitria stared blankly at him for a minute before it sunk in. She took the phone thanking Nialls and put it to her ear, "This is Demitria Daniels."

"Yes Demitria, Donald Harris here. Kitty Kenny gave me your tape yesterday and told me a little about you. Actually she told me all about you. She told me you were looking for a manager who would let you put out songs like the one you gave me and Demitria. I would love to be that manager. She told me you don't have a band. I've got one who I think will do wonders for your new image. She told me you have a top notch image consultant but if he doesn't work out I've got one for you. She told me about you past and what you are looking for, for your future. Miss Daniels, honestly I would be honored if I could be part of that future. I was hoping we could set up a meeting."

Demitria just sat there for a minute. When Kitty had told her she knew someone she didn't think she knew someone this fast. "Mr. Harris I would love to meet with you. Just tell me where and when I'm open all day today."

The two decided on a meeting for later that afternoon at his office building. Demitria called Kitty and asked her to come pick her up. Demitria couldn't be seen going in there. Kitty picked her up in her van and drove to the building. She parked inside a loading dock in the back and they both went up to Donald's office without anyone the wiser.

They talked about contract points and his concerns about her career. He was concerned not for his own career but for hers and that endeared her to him even more. He talked about how hard it would be to come out in the country market. These were down home Christians who didn't take kindly to people like her. He talked about her fan base. He was worried it would dwindle into nothing and she would regret coming out. She was quick to assure him she would never regret being herself.

They set up a meeting the next day for a label who was very interested in her, Donald, Herself, and her lawyers.

"The biggest thing about all this is I have to be let out of my contract at any time. I have with Art and my current label and I need it with you. I need the control. Can you get me that?"

"I believe Miss Daniels at this point, I can get you anything you want. This label wants you. They want all of you, they want the real you. You've got it."

They stood and shook hands all around and Kitty and Demitria snuck out the way they had come in.

Things were coming along great. The new label agreed to everything Demitria had asked for. Everything had gone great in the meeting. Demitria felt strong with everything. The CMA's were five days away and Demitria was going to tell her current label to kiss off two days before and the day before the CMA's she was going to hold a press conference coming out about everything and everyone. The Monday after the CMA's the label was going to send a song writer in to help her write her heart out. They wanted the song that she had already written on her album. She wanted to have her hand in every album she did with them they totally agreed. They had given her free rein and she absolutely loved it.

Monday she walked into the board room of her label with Art hot on her heals. None of the board members or Art knew why she had called this meeting. Only her and her lawyers knew. She smiled as she pulled out her contract. "This ladies and gentlemen is my contract with my label and with my manager. As all of you should know I have the ability to walk out at any time. Guess what? Any time is right now. I quit." Art was about to step in and say something when she interrupted him. "Art, the label and my new manager that I have just signed with," the board members gasped and Art spluttered but before he could get actual words out of his mouth she started talking again. "They know all about my dirty little secrets. They know everything about every part of my life. They also know about how you threatened me. Art they won't black list me. They won't believe one lie you tell them. Give it up Art. I did something you didn't expect and now your gonna pay for it. I told you once I wanted to come out. Now I am going to do it. In the worst way you can think of. Ta ta."

She got up and walked out, her lawyers following her. She thanked them for there support. The board members hadn't contested the contract, she had been afraid they would. Everything was going great now. She was going to be ok.

The next day she had her press conference and it had gone smashingly. The country music world accepted her for who she was. Art was blacklisted and ended up working in a McDonald's some where. The label soon shut down after all of its artists started leaving and finding other labels.

On CMA night she had won two awards and when she went up for her first one she had thanked Genevieve which had left the whole room buzzing about who Genevieve was. Back stage Demitria's favorite singer, Reba McEntire had told her good job and said she was proud that Demitria had decided to be herself and not be bullied by her record label. For the next award she thanked god and left it at that. She sang "I just wanna be mad for a while" for the audience and went home quite happy. What no one knew is someone was watching the CMA's with tears in her green eyes, crying for the only woman she ever had or ever would love. She cried for her lonely world and for the loss of a child that no one ever knew. That girl picked up her phone and called a long lost mother in a long lost town miles away.


Genevieve was sitting in her mothers living room. It was the first time they had seen each other in eleven years. They had the radio playing softly in the back ground until an announcer came on the radio. The two women had been waiting for the new song for almost a week. Genevieve had gone home almost two weeks ago. She had missed her mother so much she couldn't leave just yet. Genevieve leaned over and turned up the volume so they could hear more clearly.

"Demitria Daniels may not be up for any CMA's this year but according to her she doesn't want to be. She doesn't like the music she did in the past and only looks forward to the future. She said, and I quote, "my music in the past was all about someone else. I wrote, with a lot of help from my friends, my whole album. This first song I am putting out I wrote all in my mind all by myself. I have one special friend, Kitty Kenny to thank for getting it out on paper. I sincerely hope the public likes it." Without further ado may I introduce the song that has controversy stirring all over the country. RED RAG TOP!!!!

Genevieve and her mother just sat and stared at each other as the music began.

I was twenty, and she was eighteen

We were just about as wild

As we were green in the ways of the world

Well, she'd picked me up in that red rag top

We were free of the folks and hidin' from the cops

On a summer night

Runnin' all the red lights

And we parked way out in a clearing in a grove

And the night was as hot as a coal burnin' stove

We were cookin' with gas

Knew it had to last

In the back of that red rag top

She Said "Please, don't stop"

Well, the very first time her mother met me

Her green-eyed girl had been a mother-to-be for two weeks

I was out of a job, and she was in school

And life was fast, and the world was cruel

We decided not to have a child

So we did what we did, and we tried to forget

And we swore up and down there would be no regrets

In the mornin' light

But on the way home that night

On the back of that red rag top

She said, "please don't stop

Lovin' me"

We took one more trip around the sun

But it was all make believe in the end

No, I can't say where she is today

I can't remember who I was back then

Well, you do what you do, and you pay for your sins

And there's no such thing as what might have been

That's a waste 'a time

Drive you out 'a your mind

I was stopped at a red light just yesterday

Beside a young girl in a Cabriolet

And her eyes were green

And I was in an old scene

I was back in that red rag top

On the day she stopped

Lovin' me

I was back in that red rag top

On the day she stopped

Lovin' me

Genevieve was rocking in her mothers arms. Her sobs were heard loud around the room. "Oh god Demitria I never stopped loving you."

"Shh little one, its ok. Mama's here. Was all of that true?"

"Oh yes mama it was, but I do still love her. I always have. Mama I never told you that I was pregnant. A child was too much for both of us. We went to a clinic and had it done. I almost died. I week later it became too much for me to handle. I told her I didn't love her and I left. I am so so sorry mama. Please forgive me."

"Oh my dearest daughter I forgive you anything and everything. What you must have been going through. I thought you left because of the pressure of the rape, I didn't know there was more there. God how completely awful of me not to know what you were going through."

"It's ok mom, there was no way for you to know."

A week later Genevieve left to find the woman who never stopped loving her. Her mother thought she was just going back home so she slipped something into her hand before she got in her old red rag top and left.

"Don't open it till later."

"I won't mom." She threw her arms around her mother and hugged her with all her might, "I'll be back in a month for Christmas."

Her mother wiped her tears and sent her on her way, "you be careful you hear?"

"I will be mama, bye."

Later that night Genevieve was laying on a hotel bed in downtown Nashville when she remembered the note her mother had given her. She opened the letter. A small piece of paper fell out. She decided to get to it later. She wanted to see what her mom had to say more than anything right now.

Dearest Genevieve,

Right now I don't where you are and what your doing, but I do know that I will see you again soon so I am no longer scared for my only child. Seeing you for these past three weeks has been a true gift. I love you so much. There is something that I have not told you in these past three weeks that you might like to know. Over these past eleven years I have kept in close contact with Demitria. She and I mourned over losing you all those years ago and we became close. I was the mother she never got love from and she was the daughter I lost. I know that might be hard for you but we make our beds now we must lie in them. That piece of paper I'm sure you have already forgotten about has her personal number on it. Her butler, Nialls will let you talk to her. He screens her calls very closely because of people who would harm her. I have already talked to him, let me tell you he is very excited to hear from you. Call her Genevieve, she may be angry at you, but she still loves you.

Love always,

Your mama

P.S. Watch out, her mama still hates you.

Genevieve was shaking as she brought the small piece of paper up in front of her face and unfolded it. It said "Take a chance, Demitria Daniels," and the ten numbers that lay between her and the woman she loved more than anything in the world. Her shaking hand reached for the phone. She slowly dialed the numbers and the phone rung twice before it was picked up. "Hello, this is the Daniels residence."

"Um, ah hello. May I uh speak to Demitria Daniels?"

"Whom may I say is calling?"

"Um my name? Well Genevieve uh Backster?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"I'm telling you, I'm sorry I'm a little nervous, I haven't talked to her in a while and well you know," Genevieve babbled.

Nialls smiled into the phone knowing exactly who this girl was. "Miss Backster she is not receiving calls right now but I bet if you came over she wouldn't be able to escape from talking."

"Um, oook, is it too late?"

"Not at all. Would you like the address?"

"Yes please."

He gave her the address and directions to the house. He hung up with her just as Demitria came out of the den. "Who was that Nialls?"

"Personal call Miss."

"Oh, ok, I'll be in my study if you need me for anything."

"Very good Miss."

Demitria smiled at him and walked into her study to read some books and listen to some classical music which, she had discovered, was very soothing.

A half an hour later she heard a knock on the door, "enter."

"Miss Demitria, a guest for you."

"Who...?" just as she was getting ready to finish her sentence Genevieve stepped out from behind Nialls looking nervous but smiling as big a smile as her face could handle.

"Hi Demitria."

Demitria was mesmerized by the woman in front of her, she didn't even hear Nialls walk out. Demitria slowly got up and walked over to Genevieve. "Hi," she whispered afraid to break the spell this woman had put on her.

Genevieve couldn't think of anything to say so she just let whatever come out, "your welcome Demitria."

Demitria was still to mesmerized by her to comprehend what was going on. "When did I thank you?"

"A year ago at the CMA's. I don't know what you thanked me for but your welcome."

"I thanked you for the strength to be me."

"That's a beautiful thing to thank someone for. You once told me that I had a way with words. You know I think I rubbed off on you."

"That's not a bad thing." Demitria suddenly realized they were standing in the doorway and invited Genevieve in. They both walked over to sit on the couch. Too nervous to touch but needing each other too much to sit apart.

"Demitria, I wanted to explain what I did to you all those years ago. First though I have to tell you something. I love you and I always have and I always will. When I sat in that car and told you I couldn't love you anymore I lied. I thought it would be easier on both of us when I left."

"Gen I could have gone with you. We could have gone together and none of this would have happened."

"Demitria I needed time alone. A week turned into a month turned into a year turned into a decade. I am so sorry for leaving you, but I had to don't you see?"

"I do, I really do. I just wish you would have told me what you were doing. I almost died when you left. Your mom and I, we leaned on each other. If it wasn't for her I would have died. I tried to be strong for her and she did the same for me. Its what has kept us alive."

Tears were running down both faces and before either could think they had taken hold of each other and sat there crying for hours. Talking about what could have been and making promises on what would be. After they had stopped crying they just sat holding each other. Demitria suddenly stood up and held out her hand. Genevieve looked at it somewhat uncertainly. "It's ok Gen. I want to show you something."

They walked into the dark studio room Demitria had made out of a guest bedroom. She flipped on the light and then put a CD in. "I wrote this song for you. Listen with me."

I can't imagine any greater fear

Than wakin' up without you here

And though the sun would still shine on

My whole world would all be gone

But not for long

If I had to run, if I had to crawl

If I had to swim a hundred rivers

Just to climb a thousand walls

Always know that I would find a way

To get to where you are

There's no place that far

It wouldn't matter why we're apart

Lonely miles or two stubborn hearts

Nothing short of God above

Could turn me away from your love

I need you that much

If I had to run, if I had to crawl

If I had to swim a hundred rivers

Just to climb a thousand walls

Always know that I would find a way

To get to where you are

There's no place that far

If I had to run, if I had to crawl

If I had to swim a hundred rivers

Just to climb a thousand walls

Always know that I would find a way

To get to where you are

There's no place that far

Baby, there's no place that far.

They were dancing by the time the song had ended. "You know when you walked in I was actually arranging for a detective to go and find you. I was gonna get a hold of you if it killed me. When I decided on the detective about a week ago I wrote that song. I want to live by it." She pushed Genevieve away slightly so she could look in her eyes. "I will live by it." I will come and get you no matter where you are. We were meant for each other. I know you see that too."

Genevieve rested her head against Demitria's shoulder and cried. "I was so awful to you. How can you still love me? I don't deserve this."

"You deserve all of this and more. I understand your reasons for leaving me. I don't like them, but I do understand. You are my heart and soul. Stay with me Genevieve. Not just for tonight. Forever."

"Forever." Genevieve whispered before Demitria lowered her head and kissed her with all the passion she had built up in the past eleven years.


Genevieve and Demitria were standing on the red carpet outside of the CMA's showing off their matching wedding rings and announcing that a two month along mother was amongst them. They had in vitro fertilization done on Genevieve and it had worked splendidly. All cameras were snapping and rolling on them. They were the hottest couple in country music. Demitria was up for many awards this evening including entertainer of the year. She won four out of five awards including entertainer of the year. Like she did two years before she thanked Genevieve and God for all that she had been given in her life.

In the middle of the night she got up on stage to sing a song.

Lyin' here with you

Listenin' to the rain

Smilin' just to see

The smile upon your face

These are the moments

I thank God that I'm alive

These are the moments

I'll remember all my life

I found all I've waited for yeah

And I could not ask for more

Lookin' in your eyes

Seein' all I need

Everything you are

Is everything to me

These are the moments

I know heaven must exist

These are the moments

I know all I need is this

I found all I've waited for, yeah

And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together

Could not ask for more than this time with you

And every prayer has been answered

Every dream has come true

Yeah, right here in this moment

Is what we're all meant to be

Oh here with you, here with me yeah

These are the moments

I'll remember all my life

I found all I've waited for yeah

And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together

Could not ask for more than this time with you

And every prayer has been answered

Every dream has come true

Yeah, right here in this moment

Is what we're all meant to be

Oh here with you, here with me yeah

No, I could not ask for more than this love you gave me

'Cause it's all I've waited for

And I could not ask for more, no, yeah

No, I could not ask for more, ah yeah

The End

If you like it, if you hate it, if you wanna criticize it, please feel free.

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