Disclaimer 1: Only Ephiny, Solari, the Amazon nation and assorted Romans are coming out to play this time around, and as much as I would like (especially those amazons), they don't belong to me but to Renaissance Pictures and MCA/Universal. No infringement is intended and no profit will be made.
Disclaimer 2: This story contains spoilers for the episode, ‘End Game'.
Disclaimer 3: This story is inspired by the chorus of the Macy Gray song ‘I Try' and again no infringement is intended and no profit will be made in it's use.
Author's Note: This story is now dedicated to the adorable Danielle Cormack who I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with. I hope my writing does justice to the character that she brought to life and so faithfully saw through till death.
Any mail or comments to: amity @turangi.co.uk
My site: http://www.turangi.co.uk
‘I try to say goodbye and I choke,
Try to walk away and I stumble,
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near.'
Ephiny was crouched next to the fallen amazon. As she had turned over the body her heart was crying out that what she already believed wasn't true. As she recognised the lifeless face staring up at her, again it cried out to convince her that what she was seeing wasn't true.
But it was true. No matter what her heart desired, Solari was dead. And in the midst of the promised battle there was no time to stop, to cry over a fallen warrior… a friend… a lover; the demands of Ephiny as a warrior herself, as a leader, would not allow her to say goodbye.
Ephiny had thought her strong sense of duty, as Regent of the Amazon Nation would be able save her from the act of silent grieving over a single fallen sister. But seeing Solari's beloved and bloodied face she could not leave without doing something, everyone else be damned. All she wanted was to say her final words to Solari but even they were choked in her throat by the tears she could not cry, and not a sound escaped her lips.
Ephiny was an amazon; sword clutched firmly in her fist and prepared, even ready to die whilst bringing forth death to her enemy. Yet all she wanted to do, all she could think to do, was collapse beside Solari's shattered body. There was too much pain in knowing that she couldn't say goodbye, as though she would never be able to if those words were not said here and now.
She knew she couldn't stay knelt beside her friend's body for much longer but she couldn't turn back to the thought of battle either. She wished everything would stop and allow her to clear the blurred thoughts in her head, but it didn't, it couldn't just for her; she knew that deep in her heart but it was wrapped and choked with grief and anguish.
With effort, Ephiny stood and took a blind step backwards, stumbling in the heavy dirt before she regained her balance. But she had almost fallen, almost given in to the pain and the loss. Through the hurt the amazon blood that pumped furiously through her veins was barely giving Ephiny the strength to keep standing
It didn't keep Solari standing, she thought wearily, letting her gaze wander over the rich blood smearing Solari's body and where it had began sinking into the dark earth.
She had to leave. Had to walk away from Solari, from everything she believed and loved.
The world she once knew fell around Ephiny, the world that had been filled with another woman's soft words, and their shared touch and searing kiss. Memories of everything they had shared were now awash with only blood; to Ephiny the fading fragrance of Solari's skin now carried a copper hint, her smile trailed with the thick, red liquid and her lover's eyes were shallow crimson when Ephiny remembered their lust filled gaze.
Now Ephiny could no longer feel the burning of pain. Already a song of mourning inside her had begun to numb those feelings, a tearful lament that drowned her soul. Ephiny had loved before and she had lost that love, she would even love again. The woman had the strength to survive beyond such loss, but she was in so many ways diminished by longer being Solari's friend, companion or lover, simply by no longer belonging to someone.
The touch of another's warm skin brought Ephiny's senses back from their meandering and silent path. It was time to leave and now it felt right to do so, with loss and mourning taking their rightful claim but leaving Ephiny with enough energy to fight on without Solari. She stood and walked away with only a final glance at her fallen lover's body that the funeral pyre would later claim along with her tears.