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Homer: I kinda snatched his style.. but considering he's been dead for about 3000 years now, I doubt he'll be complaining.
Violence: Nope, none... The only thing getting a dent in this one is the frying pan...
"A Day in the Life", Homeric
And the brave Xena picked up the
cooking appliance and threw it. And it flew, as an eagle flies over the flowing
landscape, flapping his great wings and seeking out his pray, hidden at the
bushes at the foot of the hill, so flew the pan and hit his targets with great
And the great bard Gabrielle arose, picking up the frying pan, coming from the city of Pylos, created from the best of iron, dug out of its shelter in the mountain side with hands dark with the dirt of the all feeding earth and molded with fires that were like those of the great god Hefaistos, and walked over to the mighty warrior.
And Gabrielle, the great staff fighter, spoke to her and said:
"Oh Xena, warrior princess and thrower of the mighty chakram, that was our only frying pan. A frying pan, coming from the city of Pylos, created from the best of iron, dug out of its shelter in the mountain side with hands dark with the dirt of the all feeding earth and molded with fires that were like those of the great god Hefaistos. Why did you do that? You do have weapons, do you not?"
So spoke the bard. And the powerful Xena answered her, saying:
"Oh Gabrielle, queen of the amazons. In a fight like this one, in which blood is dripping like the water of a great river, that begins at the top of the highest of mountains and quickly turns from a softly flowing stream into a roaring river, drips slowly into the endless sea, in such a fight I like to be creative. It gets my juices going."
And Gabrielle, daughter of Herodotus, the sidekick from Potedaia, answered her, saying:
"Godlike Xena, destroyer of frying pans, can we cook with your juices?"