Jamie James



Disclaimer: Individuals depicted in this story are from my imagination and any likeness to any living soul is wishful thinking. To any familiarity portrayed that resembles any animal, mineral or plant belonging to anyone, my thanks.  However ME's song is borrowed w/o permission, worse comes to worse I'll end up having to pay copywriter fees or go to jail...if I am lucky enough, then ME won't mind, and after all....it's not like this story is on the top ten best sellers list, or is it?
Love is love...take it or leave it, personally any age group is welcome, but let's be responsible here...18 and under...see ya....  Any comments you wish to pass on good or bad please write to Arkonia@hotmail.com.  However, please keep in mind...I am not a writer by trade (this is my first story) nor am I a masochist availing my muse to be torn to shreds by individuals who don't play nice...so please...play nice!

Finally...thank you to Idryth and Slayer....a good kick in the muse is a useful thing.....thanks for hanging with me on my first solo flight, I look at it as one for the good guys zero for the bad. 

Peace and love....Arkonia.

Loren Wynfield opened the door to the recording studio and stepped into the dim, air-conditioned hallway.  She hesitated a second to allow her eyes to become accustomed to the change in light.  She let her gaze sweep the entranceway while trying to ascertain which door led to the recording room.  There were four doors leading from the main hallway, three had red lights flashing above the door and one had green.

Loren knocked softly on the door with the green light, opened it and strolled purposely into the control room of the recording studio.  Looking around the small room, she noticed a technician seated behind a panel of controls containing row upon row of slide buttons.   Low level lighting added to the surreal muted effect, making everything appear very technical. 

The sound technician turned slightly and did a double take nodding his head as his eyes swept over the most incredibly gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Jesus, he said to himself, she must be almost six feet.

If the truth were known, Loren was quite unaware of the impact she had on people, she had always thought of herself as okay, nothing out of the ordinary.  However her shoulder length black hair and brilliant blue eyes were a striking combination. 

A black leather mini skirt and blue jacket that buttoned diagonally across her chest portrayed a slender well toned body to perfection.  Her jacket was the same incredible blue as her eyes, giving her a look that reflected grace, elegance and femininity. 

"Ms. Wynfield?" the tech inquired, almost having to wipe the saliva off his chin. 

Loren inclined her head slightly indicating acknowledgment. 

"Hi, I'm Charlie, we were told to expect you.  Take a seat, Jamie doesn't know you're coming yet, she'll be finished in a few minutes."  Charlie flipped a switch that allowed the music being recorded in the sound proof booth to be heard in the room with them. 

"It's her new one, God it rocks!" he said over his shoulder to the dark haired woman.

Loren's eyes traveled beyond the control boards Charlie was working on, out into the room where the musicians were playing.  Jamie James was doing a remake of another popular artist's song.  The music throbbed, very sensual in its sound as head thrown back, eyes closed, Jamie strummed the steel strings.

Loren found her eyes drawn to soft leather pants that tightly stretched across the back of the singer's hips, hugging long lean legs that were slightly placed apart.   Jamie was moving in concert with the beat her drummer was pounding out, rolling and twisting seductively to the music. 

Several shades of dark blond hair, the color of wheat, fell in a slightly curly, wind swept wave to the center of her back.  Loren found herself transfixed as she watched Jamie James sway and gyrate.

The opening chords to I'm the only one, were just starting.  Loren watched, she had heard of Jamie James, but really knew nothing about her.  She wasn't sure if she liked the artist's music, she vaguely remembered receiving a CD of the singer's earlier recordings.  Now that she thought about it, there were no pictures on the cd covers to tell her if she had ever seen Jamie James before.  She had learned through the ravings of her friends that the rock star was stunningly beautiful and extremely talented.  If that was the case, from the back end of this angle, Loren agreed that she was, well... interesting. 

So this is the Queen of Rock, hmm, Loren thought as she moved to the glass window.  A distant memory pulled at her.  Didn't she read a headline on the cover of some rag mag at the grocery store that Jamie James was just out of rehab?  Great, she thought as her mouth curved into a grimace. She's just like the others I've dealt with no doubt,  just another pill popping, adrenaline seeking rock star with a fragile ego.  Loren turned dragging her eyes away and mentally decided she would do what Harry had asked her to do, then get the hell away from this scene. 


Earlier on, Loren had been called to her friend and senior law partner's office.  Harry, who owned the law firm of James and James, had been about to depart to see Jamie when he had been delayed. 

Harry watched Loren his favorite junior partner enter his office and gracefully take the chair opposite his desk. 

He swept his eyes over the tall dark haired woman.  She has no idea how beautiful she is, Harry thought.

Intelligent eyes captured Harry's and asked softly, "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah, yes," Harry stated, clearing his throat, bringing his thoughts back to the reason he had requested to see her. 

"I was supposed to meet with Jamie James at four today, but I have a conflict, I inadvertently scheduled a board meeting, could I impose on you to take the appointment with Jamie for me?" 

"Oh Harry, you know I don't like dealing with...." she looked up into his soft brown eyes, and sighed.  "No problem."  After all she had just cleared her desk in preparation of taking the next three weeks off for her vacation.  There were no pressing issues she had to deal with.

"Good," Harry said, "I'll have my assistant call over and tell the studio to expect you, instead of me." 

"What's the appointment about?" Loren asked curiously. 

"I'm not sure, Jamie really didn't give me a lot of detail," he sighed, "Seems she's missing some funds from her account, its possible her manager, Tony Vigliary may be helping himself." 

Oh, groaned Loren to herself, This could get nasty.

"She was going to fill me in on what she suspected when I met with her, I take it you know who Jamie is?" 

She hesitated and responded, "I know some things about her," remembering the headlines, while thinking to herself, Nothing you'd want to discuss

"Well, Jamie's my niece," he looked directly at Loren.  "Don't under estimate her, she's not your average everyday rocker," he chuckled as he stood up behind his desk gathering his papers and shoving them in his briefcase.  "In fact she's quite the little spitfire when you rile her up.  Be sure to give her my love, now, I have to get going.


Harry hesitated for a moment, as Loren stood up to leave.  "I know its your vacation Loren, but I am deeply grateful for your help." 

Great, Loren mumbled to herself, Why do I feel I really don't want to have anything to do with another rocker.  Instead she looked directly at him.  "As I said Harry, no problem, I'll take care of it, I'll see you tomorrow."  Loren turned and strode to the door. 

Harry shook his head watching the dark haired woman leave the office.  Why do I feel you don't want anything to do with this Ms. Wynfield, he chuckled to himself.  "Oh Loren!"

"Unhuh," she answered as her head popped in around the door to see what he wanted.

"Don't forget dinner on Sunday, Joanna is really looking forward to seeing you again." 

Loren flashed a genuine smile which lit up her face.  "Now Harry, would I miss the absolutely best pot roast in the world?"

Harry chuckled. "Get out of here!"

Loren grinned again and softly closed the door.


Returning to her office Loren stood next to the large picture window behind her desk.  Damn she thought, another rock star, and Harry's niece to boot! Turning abruptly and swivelling her leather chair around she sat down, kicking her shoes off she crossed her legs on the corner of her desk.

The lawyer thought about the last time Harry had asked her to take on a new client, the group Road Show.  She could barely get them to hold a pen to sign their contracts.  Their lives revolved around drugs, women and alcohol.  Great, just great, my last day, no correct that second last day now, before vacation, and I get to meet with another space cadet.  Sighing with annoyance she looked at her watch and decided she had better get going, the sooner she got there the sooner she could leave.

Tom, her drummer had his eyes half closed watching Jamie's hips move to the beat and played in rhythm with her movements.  The sexier Jamie became the sexier he made the beat. 

Glancing around the control room Loren realized the recording studio was semi circular.  She walked by several tech's doing their jobs while nodding their heads in sync to the music.  Stopping at  the end of the observation booth she observed the singer ending the song to a very sensual drum beat, repeating over and over "I'm the only one," while bucking her hips in time to the primal cadence. 

Jamie's eyes were hooded, a fine sheen of sweat covered her neck and face, her hair lay damp on her forehead.  She caressed the Mic.. almost as if she were holding a lover, her tongue slightly wetting her lips as she breathed sexual raspy innuendo into the words. 

Loren stared at her, this was the most stunning woman she had ever laid eyes on.  She was mesmerized by the blatant sexuality displayed by Jamie.  Oh to be a microphone, Loren groaned. 

Shaking her head, not quite sure where the hell that had come from, damn though, she can really move!  Just then the song ended and the deepest emerald green eyes captured shocked brilliant blue orbs, Loren was absolutely speechless.   Blinking rapidly, she fought the urge to turn around and run.  Somewhere deep inside she heard a ghost of a voice warn, This is definitely trouble

Jamie felt the fatigue invading her body as she leaned down to place her guitar on the stand.  She angled her head to the side to listen to her assistant while maintaining eye contact with the dark haired visitor. 

I wonder who she is, Jamie thought noting her body was tingling.

The singer felt like she was floating in a cerulean sea of water as she stared into the stranger's eyes.  Realizing her assistant was tugging on her arm trying to get her attention Jamie dragged her eyes towards Jen, who was studying her with concerned eyes, 

"JJ, are you listening to me?  You ok?"

"Ahhh," Jamie replied turning startled eyes on Jen, "Um, yes I'm just ah, just tired."

"Are you sure?"

"Unhuh," Jamie replied with a smile, placing her arm around Jen walking her toward the exit. Who the hell was that woman, Jamie wondered and was about to ask Jen when her thoughts were interrupted by her sister.

"You have a meeting with a...." she checked her notes, "Loren Wynfield, Uncle Harry called over, he couldn't make it.  I'll put her in your office.  Oh, and I picked up your pills, here, don't forget to take them."

Jamie held out her hand and accepted the Kleenex with the two pills wrapped inside.  "What would I do without you Jen?" 

"Die of boredom, after all I keep things going around here." 

"Oh by the way," Jen said looking over her shoulder at the singer as she was walking away.  "The water company didn't show up to replenish the bottled water in your office.  So I went next door to Trevor's, and he had an old liquor decanter which he filled with spring water, its on your desk.  He says payment will be a personalized autographed photo." 

Jamie laughed. "That will make, let me see, two hundred and thirty seven pictures I now owe him.  Make sure we send over concert tickets." 

"Ok," Jen grinned. 

Jamie watched her little sister walk away.  God I love that kid, she said to herself.  Jen was her youngest sibling, and only sister, it had always been the two of them against the boys.  Jamie grinned at the thoughts of her two younger brothers, they were always aligned with their father, constantly picking at the sisters.  Jamie chuckled, it sure helped to have mom on their side.

Loren had felt an odd sense of loss, a sense of sadness when the singer had looked away.  She had observed the interaction between the two women in the recording studio, then watched them share a laugh over something the smaller blond said.  Loren didn't know if she cared for the fact that an obvious closeness existed between the two.  The dark haired woman mentally straightened her back shaking off the feelings, disgusted with herself.  Who cares, she thought incredulously, I don't even know this woman, besides I don't even like rock musicians.  She drew her fingers through her hair, sighed softly and walked back to the main part of the control room.

Loren was shown into the singer's office by Jamie's assistant who introduced herself as Jen, telling her politely that Jamie would be with her shortly, then departed. 

Alone in the room the lawyer glanced around, mentally noting how tastefully the room was decorated.  Forest green paint coated the walls, a cherry wood desk with matching lawyer bookcases, several chairs and a comfortable looking leather couch filled the room.  A beautiful brass lamp on a side coffee table was spreading a warmth throughout the office. 

The bookcases were filled with, hmm filled with what Loren chuckled to herself, comics?  However her chuckles were short lived when she realized most of the classics and several new releases were on the shelf.  The older books looked like they were well used, in fact some looked like first editions, probably valuable. 

There were a few personal odds and ends scattered on a shelf that contained photographs.  A laughing Jamie with her arm around her laughing assistant....Well guess that confirms that, she thought.  Several of Jamie with the band, various awards ceremonies, celebrity actors and singers.  A striking picture of Jamie with an older man and woman, and two young men sitting at a table was prominently displayed.  Must be her family, Loren thought, as the resemblance between all of them was marked

She noted a framed picture laying face down and pushed into the corner.  Loren reached for the photo and examined it, a layer of dust and what looked like dried water droplets rested on the cracked glass. 

It was a picture of a smiling woman, very beautiful with dark brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes.  She was seated behind the singer and had her arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly.  A small brown haired boy of about two or three years of age was held closely by a widely smiling Jamie.  He was holding a valentine day heart with a child like message written across the front of the heart in crayon which was illegible. 

The picture spoke a thousand words of love and happiness.  A hand written inscription across the bottom of the picture said, All my love forever, until eternity, Sam and Christian, your special angel.  The lawyer felt that she had intruded on something very personal, feeling uncomfortable she replaced the photo where she had gotten it. 

Loren continued to examine the various awards and gold records accumulated by Jamie over the last six years which were displayed throughout the office.  Loren was lost in her thoughts when without warning, the door swung open and Jamie James walked in.  She was still wearing her tan leather pants and halter top with heeled boots of the same color. 

God, Loren thought, as she stared unabashedly at the singer, she's even more gorgeous up close and personal.  There was no doubt Jamie James exuded a sexual presence that affected both genders to distraction.  There was more charisma in her little pinky than the whole of the entertainment world had collectively. 

Jamie turned her head slightly letting her eyes play over the raven haired woman who was standing in her office.  How beautiful the woman is Jamie though while extending her hand.  "Hi," the singer said in a soft sultry voice, "I'm Jamie James."

Loren extended her hand to take Jamie's and responded, "Loren Wynfield, your uncle sends his apologies and his love, he couldn't make it so he asked me to meet with you." 
Both Loren and Jamie felt uncomfortable with the handshake, if asked, they wouldn't have been able to explain the feelings that passed between them in those five seconds of contact.

Jamie invited Loren to have a seat as she made her way to her desk.  As the singer sat down she felt the warmth from the lawyers fingers linger in her hand, causing her to tremble slightly. 

Picking up the decanter of water Jen had left on the desk, ignoring the gold embossed name tag that displayed the word rum, Jamie filled a large glass.  She looked up and asked the lawyer if she would like something to drink.  Loren, glancing at the bottle raised her eyebrow, stating that water would be just fine for her.  Here we go, Loren thought disgustedly, Jesus, she's drinking straight rum, and its only a little after noon!

Jamie poured a second glass from the bottle completely missing the look the lawyer was directing towards her.  Distractedly she placed the filled glass on the end of the desk and slid it towards her guest.  Jamie then opened the Kleenex Jen had given her displaying two pill capsules.  Before the singer had a chance to take the pills the sound of a soft knock on the door interrupted her.  Placing them back in her pocket she went to answer the knock. 

"Yes Jen?"  Loren heard the singer say. 

While watching the two converse she saw the singer kiss the assistant on the tip of her nose and tell her she loved her.   She watched as Jamie shook her head no in response to something asked by the assistant. 

Closing the door softly, Jamie returned to her desk.  Before continuing her conversation with the dark haired lawyer, she searched her pocket retrieving the pills.  Popping them in her mouth she washed them down with the glass of water from the rum decanter she had poured herself earlier. 

God, Loren thought with total disgust, just as I figured, another pill popping soon to be drunk rock star.  No matter how beautiful she is, no doubt she's got problems, at least two of the same ones as the others...alcohol and pills. 

Loren turned fully towards Jamie, her mouth was drawn tightly across her face, disapproval emanating from her.   Feeling the anger building, all the dark haired beauty could think about was Denny, her best friend's brother who had spiraled downhill fast because of drugs and alcohol.  He had been an aspiring musician who had literally lived the culture until his death at twenty six.  She couldn't believe right here in front of her was another case of a life spiraling downhill and from the look of it, quickly. 

Anger suffused Loren's body, unable to calm herself as she looked at the beautiful rock star, she asked curtly, "Think you're fortified enough to discuss business or have you missed one of the food groups?"  Looking pointedly at the rum decanter and crumpled Kleenex on the desk. 

Jamie sat back in the chair brows drawn together, regarding the lawyer in front of her, unable to grasp the sudden change in the woman's demeanor.  Shaking her head slightly she looked directly at Loren with wide green eyes that reflected fatigued confusion, which only appeared to confirm Loren's previous views about the rocker.

She's so goddamned spaced, this ought to be just great, Loren thought, her disgust growing. 

Trying to brush off her fatigue she struggled to put things in perspective, Jamie reached out to pour herself another glass of water.  Imprinting subconsciously on her brain as she continued with her task were the items scattered on her desk.  A crumpled Kleenex and gold embossed lettering on the side of the bottle which spelled out in large letters "rum." 

Realization hit her, this woman thinks I'm popping pills and drinking rum.  Jamie's hands gripped the side of the desk tightly, she felt the flush of anger creep up her neck, Who the hell is she to disapprove of what I do, regardless if I'm doing it or not! 

Loren was oblivious to the almost physical change in Jamie's demeanor, as she continued all business, any appearance of friendliness gone.  "Ms. James, what is it you wished to discuss?" 

The singer was incensed at the holier than thou lawyer, standing up she strode angrily to the door, turning as she opened it, Jamie looked directly at Loren.  In a clear voice laced with contempt she spoke clearly. "I'm afraid, I have nothing to discuss with you, Ms. Wynfield.  Come back," she said angrily through clenched teeth, "when you've placed your assumptions and condescending attitudes in their proper place." 

Sweeping her arm towards the open door she indicated for the lawyer to leave. Then she said in a soft steely voice, one eyebrow raised to the top of her brow, "What you see may not necessarily be what is!" 

Realizing the singer was literally kicking her out, Loren replied in a stiff voice, "Fine Ms. James, I'll have your Uncle contact you." 

"Fine!" Jamie replied glaring at the lawyer, as she steamed passed her. 

Stopping abruptly in front of the singer, Loren turned looking back at the scattered items on the desk, then cast a glance at Jamie and with a raised eyebrow she gave her a tight smirk, then walked out. 

As Jamie slammed the door she muttered, "Goddamned bottom dwelling mud sucking lawyers!"

Loren overheard the comment, she hesitated mid stride, her two hands clenching into fists.  She turned her head to the side, tempted to turn around and go back, she thought better of it.  She decided discretion was the better part of valor, and departed the building slamming the door behind her. 

Jamie stomped over to the desk and flopped down in her chair.    She was fuming as she muttered to herself, damn I'm tired of this, everything I do is questioned, analyzed, betrayed.  I don't know if I can keep this up much longer, it used to be fun. 

Jamie felt herself slump in the chair, she was exhausted, she felt tears well in her eyes.  She was experiencing an overwhelming sense of despair over this whole situation. The singer closed her eyes feeling totally bereft, allowing her thoughts to drift she cried out, Oh Sam, why couldn't you be here, I need you both so much.

Alone in the quiet office Jamie felt a twinge of remorse.  She supposed she could have explained, but she was tired and so very angry at that, that....insufferable woman.   Why did she always have to explain everything to everyone, she ranted to herself.  Her life was an open soap opera displayed daily in the tabloids, for Christ's sake, it had gotten to the point that she had to have her garbage disposed of secretly.  She shook her head.  My damn garbage what next.  Oh to hell with it, she sighed, From now on I'll live my life my way, to hell with everyone else.


Driving her car into the undercover garage, Loren stopped suddenly and slammed the vehicle into park.  She climbed out and then made sure she slammed the door heavily behind her. 

Harry James was just about to put the key into his own vehicle door when he had seen the young lawyer pull into the parking spot.  Oh, oh, he thought, I guess things didn't go well. 

"Loren?" he called out. 

Loren turned on her heel to see who had called to her, it wasn't hard to see by her face that she was angry. 

Harry started walking toward her, she met him halfway.  "What's wrong?" he inquired, concern written all over his face.

"What's wrong, I'll tell you what's wrong!"  Loren was pulling her fingers angrily through her hair, obviously upset.  "Look Harry, I'm sorry she's your niece and all, but well..."

"Things didn't go well?" he queried worriedly. 

"I would suggest Harry that you deal with this yourself, you might want to keep it in-house."

"Keep it in house?   What are you.....Listen, why don't we go next door for a drink and you can tell me what happened," Harry suggested as he took her by the elbow steering her to the side exit of the underground parking garage.  They walked across the street and down one block, each lost in their own thoughts. 

The two lawyers entered Finnigan's, a favorite Irish watering hole for law enforcement types.  Harry led Loren to a corner booth and held two fingers up to Liam the bartender who nodded acknowledgment.  After they had gotten settled in, Liam delivered two double scotches, straight up. 

"Ok Loren, start at the top," Harry said soothingly as he recognized his unflappable junior partner was upset.

"Harry, I'm sorry to tell you any of this," Loren said with a hard edge to her voice, "But I suspect your niece was a little over the top, I doubt I would've been able to make sense of anything she had to tell me.  She was popping pills and drinking."

Harry completely taken aback, burst into laughter.  "Jamie?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," Loren replied confused by his response.  "Harry, I don't find any of this funny, I think your support and intervention would be better than laughing at the matter."

"Loren calm down," Harry said, his eyes twinkling, "tell me exactly what was said and done."

Loren related the story starting with her arrival, the interaction between the two blonds, the rum decanter, the pills and the lawyer's departure. 

"Oh Loren," Harry was still chuckling "you made some serious assumptions here, hopefully I can help alleviate some of your concern."

"Please do!" 

"Well, first off Jamie isn't just interested in her assistant, she loves her deeply," he said with a gleam in his eye. "Jen is her baby sister." 

Loren felt a sinking feeling start to dwell in the pit of her stomach, she knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. 

"Secondly, the pills were probably her antibiotics, Jamie's just gotten out of hospital..."

"Drug rehab you mean." Loren interrupted, with distaste.

"No, hospital, she suffered a..... well.... a personal loss, and she ended up catching pneumonia basically from not caring whether she lived or died," he replied with grave seriousness.

Loren lowered her head embarrassed, reflecting that her forehead must now have a flashing "L" on it indicating loser.  "That doesn't explain the rum."  The dark haired woman was grasping at her credibility at this point.

"Jamie has only ever probably had a single drink of rum in her entire life, she has a very low tolerance for alcohol.  Fortunately for her, she found this out years ago, it helps that she has an intense dislike of most liquors.   Whatever was in the decanter wasn't rum.  The only thing she will sip is a glass wine or an occasional beer, from time to time."

Loren rested her head on her arms on the table.  "I think I made a fool of myself."

Harry narrowed his eyes, observing Loren's odd behavior.  I wonder, he thought, what really is going on here.  This is so unlike Loren.

The dark haired beauty drained her scotch and looked sheepishly at Harry.  "I'm sorry boss, I guess I really have shaken your trust in me, both at the firm and with your family.  I don't know what or why I....God Harry," she looked up at him, "Jamie is very beautiful, all I could think of when I saw her, well what I thought I saw, was Denny!" 

The light came on immediately for Harry, he understood with complete clarity. "Well my friend," he said leaning in with his eyebrow raised, head tilted in a questioning manner, "another visit to straighten out the, how would we say, misinformation wouldn't go astray.  Just remember," the senior lawyer said gathering up his briefcase, preparing to leave "what you see may not necessarily be what is."

Loren looked up at Harry with disbelief.  "Funny, that's exactly what she said!"

"Well she can't be that bad if she talks like me now can she?  Good night Loren, take it easy on yourself, I think you have learned a valuable lesson.  But I did warn you not to underestimate my fireball." 

Harry hesitated, should he tell her, he mused to himself, he had a feeling if Loren knew Jamie would be at Sunday dinner she wouldn't show up.  Deciding it would give the two a chance to meet under less stressful conditions he said nothing. 

"See you for dinner Sunday, goodnight Loren."

"Yes." Loren replied distractedly, "Good night Harry, oh and Harry?"


"Thank you."

Harry smiled and left the bar. 

Loren waved her hand at Liam raising two fingers, she noted his raised eyebrows, but he came over directly with her double scotch.  The young lawyer fleetingly gave in to the internal voice echoing inside of her. You condemn Jamie for drinking before an appropriate time and here you are guzzling down your second double of the afternoon.  Oh shit, Loren agonized, I really screwed this up!

Chapter 2.

The next day found Jamie in the recording studio with the band, trying to lay down vocal tracks for her new follow up single, "Untold Legacy."  The rocker was feeling the pressure, she was short of temper, she had an unsettled feeling that was draining away her creativity. 

Jamie knew her success was phenomenal, she had literally millions of fans, her concerts sold out in minutes.  Her upcoming world tour titled after her just released single, "Let me Go." had sold out at each venue within an hour of the tickets going on sale.  She was well liked amongst her band, entertainment peers and her family absolutely adored her.  The only crinkle in the life of Jamie James was the non existence of a personal life and the heartbroken betrayal of losing her love, and her angel.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it!" Jamie shouted waving her arms at the band members.  "Damn Tom," her frustration venting at her drummer and friend, "lay down the damn tracks with an upbeat at the end, you know I haven't decided on whether I want  a voice solo or guitar solo at the end.  Work with me here, don't make it difficult." 

The members of the band looked at the rocker and then back at the drummer.  Tom stood up and clapped his drum sticks together,  "Take thirty everyone, we need a break here." 

He sauntered over to Jamie who had her head resting on her hands leaning on the edge of the music stand.  She felt his hand slide up her back to her shoulders, gently rubbing her neck as he watched the other band members setting down their instruments. 

"What's up JJ?" he said in a soft voice. 

"Oh Tom, I'm sorry, I really am," she peered up at him her green eyes brimming with tears.  "I don't know," she mumbled frustrated, "I'm exhausted, the tour is less than six months away, and this... this album is driving me nuts!  I can't find the melody on this last song, the beat isn't there and....." she let her voice drift as she shrugged her shoulders, frustrated.

Jamie knew it was important to have a new album released prior to starting a tour.  She also needed to start working on new material right away to follow up the world tour.  She just didn't think she had the energy to do it all. 

Tom turned her around and held her close whispering in her ear.  "You know its there Jamie, however, they aren't, that's what's missing.  Let them go Jamie, don't let it hurt you anymore." 

Jamie stiffened against his arms, she knew he was referring to Sam and her angel.  Anger contorted her face, she tried to pull away but Tom wouldn't let her go. 

"No Jamie," he said as she struggled to push him away. "We should have had this talk months ago." he released her taking hold of her arms, looking deep into her anguished green eyes.  He felt like he was ripping out her heart.  "We love you and you've shut us, yes all of us out...let it go, get on with your life."  He implored, "Christ, its been a year and a half!" 

Jamie started to cry softly, the tension letting go from her body.  "I miss them so Tom, I haven't felt complete in so long." she whispered, raw pain clear in her eyes and voice. 

Tom held her close, "Oh god honey, I'm here for you, I'm here for you," he whispered as he felt her legs collapse, strong arms gripped her as together they slid gently to the floor.  The band realizing what was happening, quietly left the booth each one gently touching Jamie on the shoulder their eyes wet with understanding.

What seemed like an eternity later, Jamie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  Tom realized that Jamie would share only so much of her soul, the rest she would hide inside of herself. 

"Come on JJ, I'll take you home," Tom said softly, offering her a ride, but Jamie shook her head no, she would sit for awhile then head out.  Tom kissed her on the forehead "I love you kid. Do you want me to stay?" 

"No, go on, Katie will be waiting for you, give my love to girls.  I just want some time to myself, I'll be ok, I promise,"  she said, as she squeezed him to her. 

Tom stood up slowly reluctant to leave, he walked towards the door, understanding she needed the space. 

As he put his hand on the handle he heard her softly call to him,  "

Hey, I love you too, friend." she whispered.

Tom winked, grinned at her then quietly left the studio.


Jamie didn't know how long she sat there, but she had an overwhelming need to feel the music.  She picked up her guitar beside her, climbed up on a stool and started to heal her pain.  She reflected on each chord as she knew she had a long road to travel to start to try and let go of the past. 

Jamie strummed and picked out different guitar riffs to go along with a haunting song that had been playing through her mind the last few weeks.  It was untitled, but spoke of longing and hurt.  A raw hurt that anyone who was listening to the words would know immediately, that it was she who was hurting. 











We hurt together, you and me.

Loren let herself into the studio, this wasn't going to be easy, she had made a mess of the first meeting.  Could she convince Jamie that she had made a mistake, better still, could she repair the damage.  The lawyer spotted the singer in the recording studio, she was alone.  It was obvious that the studio was empty except for Jamie, and Jamie was oblivious to anything else except her music. 

Loren sat in the technicians chair in the semi darkened room feeling the pain surrounding the singer.  She reached over and slowly flipped the external speaker system which allowed the music from the booth to filter into the room. 

Jamie's eyes were closed, her voice mournful, reflecting a soul of hurt.   Loren watched her, and felt a cold hand reach around her heart as she heard and watched the pain the rocker was releasing into the song.  There was no doubt this would be a powerful release in the market if she decided to record it, but somehow, the lawyer didn't think the singer would allow that. 

The dark haired woman was about to get up and leave, to give the smaller woman some privacy with her emotions.  Jamie opened her eyes and looked directly into the intense blue eyes of the tall dark haired woman.  Jamie felt the almost black points probing her soul, she closed her own eyes turning her head away, shielding her emotions knowing this woman had just seen and touched a very raw part of her. 

Mentally gathering her wits about her, the singer felt a renewal of the anger she had allowed to surface the day before, What the hell was she doing here.  Jamie looked back, and saw the compassion in the lawyer's eyes, causing the singer to furrow her brows in thought.  Inclining her head slightly towards the lawyer, the action was mirrored by Loren Wynfield's head.  Jamie sighed deeply, putting her guitar in the stand, she walked towards the control booth door thinking, This should be interesting.

A wry smile flickered across Loren's mouth as she watched the singer approach her, the lawyer wondered, Who the hell would have been stupid enough to let this woman get away. As she stood up an unbidden thought crossed her mind which shocked her, I know I'd never have let her go


Jamie abruptly opened the door of her office and entered followed by Loren. "So Ms. Wynfield," she said over her shoulder, her voice dripping sarcasm, "what brings you here, needed a drink perhaps?" 

Jamie's anger was building, stopping suddenly just before her desk she swung around quickly to give the lawyer a tongue lashing for her past behavior.  Loren couldn't stop in time and ran into Jamie knocking her back.  Reaching out trying to maintain her balance, the singer grasped the front of Loren's leather jacket with both hands.  Trying desperately to remain upright Jamie felt herself falling backwards, flat on her back onto the top of her cherry wood desk, pulling Loren down directly on top of her.  Jamie opened surprised green eyes that looked into smiling blue ones. 

Loren said with a smile and a twinkling glance, "I'm not even going to assume what this is all about..." 

Jamie felt the flush of embarrassment start from her neck, creep up and cover her cheeks and finish somewhere around her hair line. "Ahh... er.... oh" Just at that point both Jamie and Loren recognized they were bare centimeters from being in full lip contact.  Both caught their breaths at the same time, both realized that they were stretched out body, against heated body. 

Loren's head lowered almost as if to kiss the singer, she was trying to tilt her body slightly, trying to get leverage to push herself up. 

Jamie, misunderstanding the movement, reached up and pushed the lawyer to the side roughly, scrambling to her feet.  "Wha... what are you doing!"  Her eyes wide in fright. 

"Damn, trying to get up, what the hell did you think I was doing?"  Loren struggled to her feet straightening her clothes, giving the singer an exasperated look. 

Seeing a proverbial deer in the headlights expression on Jamie's face, Loren's expression softened. Christ, she thought to herself, her face reflecting her emotions, Who did this to you, who the hell hurt you so badly.

Jamie seeing the probing questions in Loren's eyes turned away and walked to the desk to give herself time to collect her feelings and quell the strong beating of her heart.  Finally, she turned and looked directly at Loren who was starting to apologize. 

"Look Ms. James, I'm...." 

Holding up her hand to silence the lawyer, Jamie shook her head and cut in, "No. please, Ms. Wynfield." 

Loren stopped, confused giving the singer a questioning look. 

"What is it now, assumption number four maybe five to add to the list," Jamie spoke her voice tinged with acid.

"Let me see," she continued, placing her hands firmly on her hips, "We have pill popping, oh and drinking, hmm perhaps spoiled maybe, but now, now we have this."   She exploded waving her hands towards the desk. 

"I can hear it now, all rockers are easy, or is it just me Ms. Wynfield?  Well Ms. Lady Lawyer," she said raising her voice with contempt, her emotions almost out of control, "When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and Me."
Geeze, the lawyer thought as she winced at the words, I guess I deserved that.

"Well, actually no, Ms. James, what I mean is yes," Loren sighed, running her fingers through her hair, "You're right, I deserve that, and more.  However, I really came to apologize.  I realized I had made some rather inaccurate assumptions, coupled with some extremely bad manners."  Loren shrugged her shoulders, "Well for that I apologize." 

Jamie faced Loren unwilling to believe the apology was sincere, however, sincere it was and the singer felt the anger start to dissipate a bit. 

"Well, I was probably a bit over the top myself.  Why did you come back?" she finished with more than a bit of suspicion mingled with curiosity.

Loren flushed.  "Actually I met with Harry and he explained a few things about the situation for me, versus how I had interpreted it.  He nearly fell out of his chair laughing," she continued embarrassed. 

"Let me try and explain to you where I went wrong," Loren pleaded her hands spread out imploringly in front of her. 

"Go ahead," the singer nodded, as she crossed her arms across her chest, she was now greatly amused at the circumstances the lawyer showed herself to be in. 

Loren sighed, struggling to look at the singer, "Well, I walk in, see a young girl slip you something you obviously don't want anyone else to see, you open that something on your desk and its two pills, which you attempt to take however you're interrupted. 

The same young girl arrives, you kiss her and tell her you love her.  You then drink a glass of rum or what I had erroneously perceived as being rum, washing down the pills.  Then I see total confusion and an inability to comprehend our discussion...." her voice petered out to silence. 
Looking into jade green eyes pleading for forgiveness, the lawyer asked sheepishly, "So, have I covered it all, is there a smoking gun?"

Jamie's face lit up as she laughed.  "I guess even I would have to say you had plenty of ammunition.  To be honest, the rum decanter held only water, I don't indulge in hard liquor.  Jen," she paused, smirking while raising one eyebrow, "my assistant who happens to be my sister was only ensuring I was taking my antibiotics.  I've just gotten out of hospital with Pneumonia. 

"After the story in the tabloids, I'm gun shy about anyone seeing me taking any medication.  My inability to follow the conversation I guess I have to chalk up to exhaustion."

"Well," Loren replied totally embarrassed, "I guess I was a bit of a judgmental fool huh," 

"A bit?" Jamie questioned with a twinkle in her eye.

"Ok, a lot of a fool," The lawyer responded with chagrin.  "However you'll be happy to know that after Harry finished rolling on the floor he told me he had only ever seen you drink maybe a glass of wine or beer from time to time.  He told me about your bout of illness, the media distortion in the tabloids, and," she looked down at the her shoes embarrassed, "he said the young girl you professed to love you certainly did, as she was not only your personal assistant, but your sister, Jen." 

With a huge grin on her face and glint in her eye the dark haired beauty tilted her head up from her shoes to look directly at the blond.  "I'm requesting your forgiveness, on behalf of this lowly, bottom dwelling mud sucking lawyer." 

Jamie flushed a deep red from her toes to her hair, "Oh God," she muttered, "I do let my anger get away from me."  She covered her face with her hands and whispered, "Now God, this is where you open the floor and swallow me up!" 

Loren laughed out loud and stuck her hand out, "Lets start again." 

Jamie placed her smaller hand into the warm larger one. 
"Hi, I'm Loren, you must be Jamie," she said with humor laced in her voice. 

"Yes I am, nice to meet you." Emerald green eyes sparkled. 

As they both went to sit on the couch, Loren couldn't stop from teasing the blond one last time, "Jamie?"  Loren smiled mischievously, capturing the blond's attention the blue eyes quickly darted to the desk and back to the perplexed singer, "Next time just ask." 

God, Loren smirked as she watched the flush move up, Jamie's neck to her cheeks and into the roots of her hair, She is so beautiful