Disclaimers: Please see part one.

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Part Five

Carl arrived at Sorrow’s apartment half an hour later. His head was still spinning from kissing Tony, and the general knowledge that the night had gone terribly wrong in so many ways.

Cautiously, he walked the stairs to the second floor, and stood in front of Sorrow’s door. Taking a deep breath, he brought up his fist to knock, but Sorrow had swung the door open before he had a chance to.

She looked like a wreck; she had been crying, her hair looked like an accident scene, she had put on a white wife-beater that just served to make her look emaciated and miserable. But the smile she had across her face was pure maliciousness. Damn, this is going to be a long night.

"Carl, my good, good friend, come in, please."

Carl walked and noticed some of Sorrow’s furniture upside down, her usually immaculate apartment looked like a tornado had ripped through it. He sat down cautiously on the floor in front of a small table where Sorrow had put a large bottle of vodka, which, he noticed, was half gone.

She quickly sat in front of him, saying "Women are all bitches, Carl."

He nodded, and quickly drank the small cup of alcohol she had poured for him. She took the bottle in her mouth, taking a long swig and slamming it back down.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"Everything was going as planned," She said, her voice a dead monotone, "and then we kissed. And it was amazing. And then her girlfriend called, and then I left. End of story."

"You didn’t even let her explain, dude.."

"CARL!," Sorrow yelled, "What is there to fucking explain?! She played me like an idiot. I don’t want to hear from her ever again."

Sorrow was fuming, she was playing Nine Inch Nails, which just seemed to give her apartment a surreal sadistic overtone to it. She drank the rest of the vodka in three gulps, and went to get more liquor from her cabinet. Carl shook his head, wondering how Tony was faring.


Alex was hysterical. The tremors from crying were shaking her small frame violently. She still held the small owl Sorrow had brought her tightly to her chest. Tony tried to comfort her as best he could but nothing was helping. He decided to just hold her and stroke her back, hoping it would offer her some consolation.

"Tony, I have to tell her. I have to tell her how I feel."

"Alex, listen to me, she had no right to just storm out on you like that. I can understand her being angry, but not like that."

"I should’ve listened to you," she said, curling into a tighter ball, if that were even humanly possible at this point. "but I didn’t, and now everything’s all fucked up. I need to see her, just to explain to her everything…"

"She won’t listen to you, the girl’s head is harder than a brick wall. And besides, all she cares about is herself. Never mind that you’re practically dying over here. She won’t believe you no matter what you say, Alex, she’s not willing to change her mind or her heart. You know that deep inside, why do you insist on hurting yourself?"

Alex wasn’t paying attention. She held the small owl, knowing she had at least one chance.

"Take me to her apartment. If it doesn’t work out after I apologize, then fine, we’ll leave, and I’ll leave her alone, okay?"

"Alex, please, don’t make me do this."

"Tony," Alex said, her green eyes locking with his blue ones, "please."

Tony reluctantly agreed, and helped Alex to his car. With his heart in his throat, he turned the ignition on, and took off towards Sorrow’s apartment.


"I’m just saying dude, you should’ve heard her out. I mean, what did this girl’s message say, anyway?"

" ‘Alex, I miss you, I love you, sorry I pissed you off, we’ve been neglecting each other, call me baby, bla bla bla…’ Something to that extent," Sorrow said, inhaling deeply from her 5Th. cigarette.

"Well, wait, so she hadn’t talked to this girl in a long time?"


"Does that mean anything to you?"

"Should it?"

Carl looked away, clearly frustrated. "I don’t know…"

"This is so fucked up Carl. I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known this was all too good to be true. THANK GOD I didn’t tell her I thought I loved her…"

"Do you still?"

Sorrow didn’t answer. She looked at him, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She took another drag from her cigarette and leaned back into her couch, her hand rubbing her forehead.

"My head hurts."

"Yeah I bet."

A knock woke them out of their drunken state. Sorrow eyed the door suspiciously, then Carl, then the door again.

"You get it."

Carl stood up, knowing it was probably Tony and Alex. He opened the door slightly, and seeing Tony’s blue eyes, he smiled instantly. He opened it further to see Alex, who looked worse than Sorrow. He held her in a quick hug and whispered in her ear, "you need back up, trust me."

Carl walked in front, followed by Alex and then Tony. Sorrow was stretched out on her sofa as if she had been shot. Her eyes were still closed and her hand still unconsciously rubbing her forehead.

She knew they were there. Slowly she sat up, opening her drunk eyes and seeing Carl, Alex and Tony standing in a line in front of her.

"Sorrow," she said tentatively, "please hear me out. I know you’re mad.."

"No," she hissed, "I’m incredibly pissed, and even more so that you have the audacity to show up at my apartment."

"Look, Natalie and I, we’re barely even together."

Sorrow squinted her eyes and her jaw clenched.

"She lives in Colorado. We hardly ever talk, the only reason I hadn’t told you about her is because I don’t even think about her. I don’t care for her in any way, barely even as a friend. I haven’t broken up with her because I hate breaking up with people and I thought it would be easier to just let my relationship with her erode… I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot, please just give me another chance?"

Sorrow smiled. Alex seemed to have a huge boulder lifted off her shoulders, seeing the row of gleaming white teeth. Carl, however, became even more tense, he knew that smile, and knew what was about to come out was not going to be pretty.

"You know what, Alex? If I would’ve given three flying fucks about you, I might’ve given you a second chance. But you’re a lying, immature, devious little brat. I’m sure you and Noelle have some nice scheme going, and this Natalie girl you keep around for emotional satisfaction, sounds like a pretty sweet deal. But no, little girl. You would’ve been just another cunt for me to fuck, and honestly, I don’t have time to deal with any of your little games, so why don’t you, and your little fag friend here, who I know has been talking mad shit about me forever, get the fuck out of my apartment before I call the cops, hmm?" Sorrow finished, patting Alex’s cheek.

Alex had sat quietly through the insults, her green eyes unblinking, her little fists were so tight her knuckles were turning white. Without a word, she got up quietly, and smiled as sweetly as she could. She let her hand trace Sorrow’s jaw, and as she opened her mouth to speak, Tony grabbed Carl’s hand; he knew Sorrow was about to regret saying that.

"You," she started sweetly, "are the most arrogant, hard-headed bitch I have ever met. All you care about is yourself. You are so wrapped up in your own little world of self-pity that you refuse to see people care about you. If you would’ve stepped back, Sorrow, you would’ve realized I’ve been crazy about you since the first day I saw you. I’ve done nothing but be nice to you, accepting you and wanting to be around you, shitty attitude and constant state of inebriation or not. I think it’s pretty sad, actually, that someone feels the need to be fucked up all the time, just so they can function. You’re the pathetic shit, Sorrow. You’re just some empty shell that used to hold a human being; you’re nothing. To me, or to Tony, and apparently, not even to your own family. So, go have fun fucking yourself up forever."

Alex smiled, her green eyes sparkling, as the look of shock and pain registered on Sorrow’s face. Then, just as quickly, she pulled her hand back and slapped Sorrow as hard as she could. Turning and grabbing Tony, they both walked out of Sorrow’s apartment. Sorrow stood in her trashed living room, the sting of Alex’s words and hand still surging through her body. Carl stood transfixed by the image of his friend, who he thought was about to crumble into a million tiny pieces. He knew Sorrow hadn’t meant what she said, but he wasn’t too sure about Alex. He walked slowly to her, intent on giving her a hug. Before his arms left his side, she hissed,

"Don’t… don’t touch me. Just get out."

"Sorrow, please, look…"


Sorrow walked over to her sofa again and sat down, her head hanging low between her knees.

"If you’re a real friend," she said, "you’ll go get me more alcohol."

"I’m not going to do that."

"CARL! Please, don’t do this to me now."

Carl stood firm. He didn’t want to take part in his friend’s self destruction any longer.

"No. Maybe you should go take a shower or —"

His words were cut off as Sorrow stood faster than he thought she could and was pushing him quickly out the door.


"BUT, ROW!!"


She screamed, slamming the door when she finally got him out. Carl rolled his eyes and punched the wall, frustrated beyond belief with her. He went down to his car, and drove over to his own apartment with it’s stark decorating. He still wasn’t finished moving in, and Tony had only brought a few things. He sat in the middle of the empty room, and let himself fall backwards on the floor. His heart was aching so badly; between missing Tony, being worried about Sorrow, and equally worried for Alex, he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and prayed for his sleep to be less brutal.


The ride to Alex’s house was a silent one. She hadn’t said a word since they left Sorrow’s apartment. Tony decided it was in his best interests to not say anything; not a word to comfort her, and certainly not any ‘I-told-you-so’ speeches. When they finally arrived at her home, Alex went straight to her room, and locked her door. Tony stood out in the living room with Alex’s mother, who eyed him curiously.

"Do I want to know what happened?"

Tony shook his "no", and with a sigh, told Alex’s mom it was probably better to leave her be. She understood her daughter as she understood herself, and knew she wouldn’t be hearing from her until the next day.

Tony went back to his car, deciding he was going to go to the apartment he and Carl had gotten. He figured no one would be there, and he certainly didn’t want to sleep in Alex’s house, not after what had happened.

When he arrived, he put his key in the lock and opened the door slowly. He took a deep breath and walked in with his pillow and a blanket. He looked over to see Carl fast asleep in the middle of the floor. He looked exhausted, even in sleep. Tony went over and laid down next to him, throwing the blanket over their two figures. He lifted Carl’s head onto the pillow he had brought, and smiled as the sleepy Carl made no intention to rouse himself out of sleep. Tony turned and closed his eyes tightly, hoping tomorrow would bring a better day.


Sorrow was sitting on the windowsill, looking into her empty and trashed apartment. A street lamp from outside filled the room with an unearthly yellow glow. Her crying had ceased a little while ago. She felt dirty; mentally, physically, emotionally. She cursed herself over and over for having said to Alex what she did.

You are such an asshole. The one good thing in your life and you fuck it up.

She didn’t even want to drink, or smoke, or anything. It’s not that those things weren’t letting her live her life; indeed, she went to school, made good grades, she kept a good paying job (regardless of whether or not she liked it), it’s just that all those things made life better… more livable. At least until she had met Alex. Whenever they were together, Sorrow made it a point to be sober. Sure, there were a few times she had been drunk or high when she was with Alex, but she liked being around her with a clear head; Alex was better than being drunk, or being high, or anything like that. She wanted to be with Alex now more than ever, just to see her face, to be able to erase what she had said, to start over again. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to block out the light, her memories, everything.

I have to get her back. No matter what. I’m not going to live my life like this forever…

Sorrow went around her apartment, rearranging the furniture that she had thrown and overturned. She cleaned up the huge mess she had made, trying to get her apartment to look the way it did this afternoon, before…

Before I acted like a jerk and fucked up the only chance I had with Alex.

She went to her shower, turning the hot water on until there seemed to be only a curtain of steam inside the shower stall. She walked in, flinching when the scorching water hit her. She didn’t care, she just wanted to be clean, wash away all her stupid deeds, if it were possible.

When she was finished, she went to her bed, climbed in, and closed her eyes. Tomorrow, she would resolve this. Somehow.

Alex had gotten home and gone into her room like a robot. She felt so numb from everything that had happened… she couldn’t believe Sorrow. She couldn’t believe any of it. But suddenly, she was glad it happened. Tony had been right, after all this time. She wished she would’ve listened to him and not her stupid heart. She decided she was going to call Natalie, and officially break up with her. And then, she would call Noelle, and make arrangements to hang out with her the next day. She was done with Sorrow, done with being a fool.

She dialed the number to Colorado, and waited impatiently for someone to pick up.



"Alex! Baby, I missed you so much!"

"Natalie, it’s over. I don’t love you. I never loved you. I can barely stand you. I know you’re pissed, but I don’t care. I don’t want to continue some dumb relationship that consists of you telling me about your life and not giving a shit about me or what’s going on with my life. Good bye."

Alex hung up the phone feeling relieved. Twice in one night; I’m on a record.

Next, she dialed Noelle’s cell phone number. It rang once before Noelle’s sleepy voice answered, "He… Hello?"

"Noelle, it’s Alex."

"Alex? Really? How are you?"

"Fine." She said flatly. "Listen, you want to hang out tomorrow? It’s my first day of break, and I was wondering if you wanted to do something?"


"Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow morning to make ‘official’ plans. Just keep your day open."

"For you, anything," said Noelle, suddenly sounding very awake.

Alex hung up with her and went to change into her pajamas. Her heart still stung deeply from the horrible night with Sorrow.

"Fuck her," she said indignantly, "she can rot for all I care."



Alex woke up the next morning feeling new and refreshed. She waltzed into the kitchen to find her mother reading the newspaper. She stooped down and planted a kiss on her cheek, at which point her mother turned around confused.

"I heard you had a bad night?" Her mother asked cautiously.

"Well, it could be considered bad if you looked at it in a certain light. But I look at it like an end to a younger, foolish Alex. This morning is the dawn of a new era," she said dramatically, "an era where I will never, EVER hurt again. I feel refreshed! You want some pancakes?"

"I already ate, honey. But thanks."

Alex shrugged and put her frozen pancakes in the toaster.

"Honey, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I honestly find it kind of spooky how you’re acting…"

"Well, Sorrow came over. And, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, she asked me if I wanted to take our relationship from friends to ‘girlfriends’, and I said yes, and we kissed, and Natalie called, and then Sorrow stormed out of the house, leaving me crying and hysterical. Then, I called Tony, and he came over, and I made him take me to Sorrow’s apartment so I could apologize, and I did, and she said something very mean, and I said something very true, and we left, and I broke up with Natalie and I’m hanging out with Noelle." PHEW!

"Well… I don’t know what to say honey. I’d say I was sorry but you don’t seem very distraught. I kind of liked Sorrow, actually. She was rather shy but she seemed like a good kid… I thought you two were going to work out."

"She’s not a human being, Mom. She’s an emotionless alien pod that was sent to this Earth to make people feel bad."

"All right honey."

"I mean, GOD, if you would’ve heard what she said to me!"

"I’m sure it was bad, Alex."

"She said I was a devious, immature bitch! She actually thought I had some sort of weird relationship with Noelle, and I kept Natalie around for emotional satisfaction!!!"

"Preposterous…" her mother said, sipping her coffee and watching Alex with some amusement.

"I mean, god, if she wouldn’t have been so fucking FULL of herself, she might’ve realized I love her!" Alex quickly shut her mouth and her eyes shot open at the admission. Her mother was looking at her with a crooked grin on her face, and raising her eyebrows, looked back at her newspaper.

"I would like to rewind and edit that."

"Of course dear."

"I don’t love her, Mom. At least not after last night."

Her mother nodded, and continued reading her newspaper.


Sorrow awoke the next morning with a headache the size of Mount Everest. She rarely got hangovers, but this one was certainly the mother of all hangovers. She went to her kitchen and grabbed the bottle of advil, dumping out 5 and swallowing them dry.

She made herself a pot of coffee, and served a cup, letting the steam hit her face and the aroma slowly assault her nostrils. She looked around her apartment, and perhaps it was just the morning light, but everything looked different. There seemed to be a sense of… hope. She smiled to herself, and made a mental to-do list.

First, apologize to Carl. Second, figure out a way to apologize to Alex without her killing me. Third… kiss Alex. For a really REALLY long time.

After Sorrow had dressed herself, she called Carl’s cell and was surprised when she got no answer. She went around her apartment, doing miscellaneous things to tidy up and make time, and then after 45 minutes, called again. Still no answer.

Getting desperate, Sorrow decided he was probably at his apartment, and he was probably charging his phone, which was why he hadn’t picked up. She got in her car, and after making a quick pit stop to get him breakfast and flowers, headed over to his apartment.

Sorrow smiled, the little seed of hope in her soul was growing rapidly. She arrived at Carl’s apartment in better time than she thought. She was suddenly quite grateful that he had given her a spare key (since she had given him a spare key to her apartment) and opened the door with the bag of food and the flowers in her hand. She walked quickly, hearing noises coming from one of the rooms. The door was slightly open, and before she had the better sense not to, she kicked it open.


Sorrow beheld the scene in front of her with shock, amusement, embarrassment and curiosity. There was Carl, her best friend, whom she thought she knew like the back of her hand, straddling Tony and kissing him.

"SORROW!" Screamed Carl, in an unnaturally squeaky voice.


"Sorrow?", said Tony, almost as shocked as Carl.

"Tony…" she grumbled, probably more menacing than she should’ve.

The two made a show of scrambling over themselves, trying to pull that sheets over their half naked bodies.

"What are you doing here?!" Asked a breathless Carl.

"Uh… not as much as you are, I see…" she said, winking at him.

"I didn’t think you’d be showing your face around anywhere without your tail between your legs after last night," hissed Tony, clearly upset at her.

Sorrow squinted her eyes at Tony and pointed her finger at him, saying, "You better watch it, or you’re not getting breakfast."

Carl laughed and grabbed Sorrow, hugging her tightly, knowing it was her custom to bring him breakfast and flowers after they had gotten in a fight.

"I got you pink daisies. The irony, huh?"

"Yeah, whatever. What’s in the bag?"

"Mmm… a fine selection of bagles, both plain and with raisins, as you like, and two blue berry muffins." She said, smiling.

"Thanks, we’re starved…" Carl went and sat next to Tony, opening the bag for his perusal. Sorrow went around to Carl’s kitchen, and opening the fridge, smiled at the half empty bottle of beer that was the only thing inside. She emptied the bottle and poured water in it, depositing a few pink daisies and returning to where she had left Carl and Tony.

She sat down in front of them, smiling weakly as they ravaged the food she had brought them.

"Carl, I need your help."

"I know you do. But I don’t think any help I give you is going to make Alex forgive you after what you said."

Sorrow looked down at her lap, knowing it was probably the truth.

"Wait a second… after everything that happened last night, you actually think that apologizing to Alex is going to make her forget about everything?" asked Tony, about to go off on a tangent. "Well, Miss-I’ll-just-bring-breakfast-and-flowers-and-all-will-be-forgiven, things aren’t so easy with Alex. The truth is you don’t deserve her."

Carl looked at Tony, silently asking him to go easy on his best friend.

"I know I don’t. I deserve ten times worse than what she told me last night. I over-reacted, I said some nasty things in anger, but that doesn’t mean I don’t regret it. Look Tony, I know you hate me, I know you’ve hated me since the first, and that’s fine. But I, regardless of what you may think, am totally in love with Alex. I would do anything for her. I’ve never been in a relationship with someone, and I don’t trust people easily… and I felt a breach of trust last night and reacted on my shitty instinct. But I love her. I need her. I can’t stop thinking about her, and I know that somewhere, behind all the things she said last night, she feels something for me, too. I’d lay down my life for her, Tony. I’m sorry for the things I’ve done, but I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to make Alex happy. Please, help me?"

Sorrow held out her hand tentatively, her blue eyes pleading with him. Tony looked to Carl, who gave him his best "puppy-dog" face. Looking back to Sorrow, he took her hand in his in a firm shake.

"Damn it, Sorrow, if you fuck this up, I’m putting a fucking restraining order on you."


Tony and Carl spent the remainder of the morning trying to figure out a plan of action for Sorrow, who had left them to go to work. After much debating, they had hatched a plan that would require Sorrow to do something she had never done before; sing in public. To Alex, of course. They had tentatively planned that Friday would be d-day. They would invite Alex for drinks at the kareoke bar, and Sorrow would show up, apologize and then serenade her with something sweet. Carl had decided that he would hang out with them, saying that Sorrow wasn’t speaking to him, in an effort to make d-day more believable. When they were both sure that everything would work out, they decided to celebrate by kissing. And kissing grew into touching, which grew into clothing being thrown about, which, hours later, led to a very tired Carl and Tony sleeping soundly in each other’s arms.

The days seemed to pass by like years in Sorrow’s head. After Tony and Carl had told her their plan, she had reluctantly agreed, but as Friday approached, she felt her nervousness getting the better of her.

She hadn’t heard from Alex since Sunday night when they both exploded on each other. Carl brought home nightly reports about Alex’s budding relationship with the infamous Noelle. Sorrow grew more and more discouraged, despite Carl and Tony telling her it would work out.

"Noelle is even worse for her than you are!" Tony had exclaimed. "She takes up all her time, she hardly even lets her talk to me. They’re not ‘involved’, I mean, Noelle is trying but Alex is holding back. Not that she’s waiting for you, though.." he said. He was still angry at Sorrow and never felt the need to hold back telling her something discouraging. "But," he said, "that just means you have to try harder."

Friday came and Sorrow was not the slightest prepared to completely humiliate herself in front of a bunch of people. She knew she had to, but she was jello inside just thinking about being in front of a crowd, singing to Alex. But this was it. She had spent a miserable week working, taking crap from her boss, and then coming home to impatiently wait for Carl to call her and give her news of Alex, which was usually bad anyway.

They had made arrangements for Sorrow to meet them at the kareoke bar at 9:30 P.M., that night. They had also informed her that sadly, Noelle would be with them. Which meant she was REALLY putting her ass on the line. But she didn’t care, if it was for Alex, she’d do anything. Hopefully.

When it was finally time, she prepared herself. She put on her leather jacked over a tight light blue t-shirt with the words "Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional" on the front. She slid on her best-looking pair of jeans, her old combat boots, make up, and was out the door. She was a woman on a mission, and no one was going to stop her.


"Are you sure this is a good idea? I think Alex is a little… drunk." Whispered Carl to Tony upon observing a very groggy Alex start slapping the table in laughter to something Noelle had told her.

"I don’t know… just keep your fingers crossed. Shit, look, there’s Sorrow!"

Carl turned around and saw his friend walk slowly into the kareoke bar. It was livelier than usual, and he knew she was probably dying a slow, miserable death just thinking about getting up in front of everyone and singing. As planned, she made her way to the bar and sat down, ordering herself a very, very strong drink. Carl excused himself to go to the bathroom and made his way next to her.

"Please tell me there’s good news?" Sorrow pleaded when she saw her friend.

"Well, Alex is a little tipsy, and her and Noelle seem to be getting along pretty well. Nothing physical, as of yet, but if something were to happen… it’d be tonight, dude."

Sorrow nodded, grim determination shadowing her face. "Okay," she said, "Plan A: I go and try to apologize. If that doesn’t work, then Plan B goes into effect."

"Plan B being?"

"Being I sing something to her and beg for her forgiveness in front of everyone and completely humiliate myself."

"I think complete humiliation is the only way to win this one."

"What should I sing then?"

"I dunno. We’ll figure it out when we get to that point, right?"

Nodding, Sorrow drank the last of her drink and made her way to the table where Alex, Noelle and Tony sat. As she approached, she caught Alex’s confused gaze.

Well, this is it..

Before she had a chance to speak, Alex had cut her off.

"Don’t even!" she said, raising her hand in front of Sorrow to stop her from doing anything.

Alex glared and stormed past her, leaving Sorrow befuddled as she watched her go to the D.J. She looked down to Noelle, who smiled viciously at her.

"She won’t take you back. She’s mine now." Said Noelle, her brow eyes blazing with jealous fury.

Sorrow looked past her to Tony, who merely raised his eyebrows and shrugged.


Sorrow turned around to see the diminutive figure of Alex in the spotlight holding a microphone. The bar had suddenly grown quiet, and Sorrow’s heart sank.


The crowd let out an "aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww", and all at once seemed to be giving sorrow the "evil eye". Sorrow lifted a dangerous eyebrow at all of them, and promptly they turned around.


The bar shook with applause and yells and whistles at Alex’s speech. Sorrow wasn’t surprised that she had picked "I Will Survive" to sing, and with the whole bar singing along and getting quite emotional, Sorrow’s future was looking pretty bleak.

She looked to Carl and started at a quick pace towards the door. She walked out into the night air, and Carl quickly followed suit.

"YOU DIDN’T TELL ME SHE WAS PISS DRUNK!!!" she screamed in agony.

"I didn’t know! Noelle’s been feeding her drinks all night. I think she might’ve suspected something."


"I dunno. I think cause me and Tony kept looking at the door whenever it opened, like we were waiting for someone…" he admitted shyly, looking down at the floor as Sorrow slapped her forehead in frustration.

"Well, what’s done is done. I’m getting out of here."

"What?! You can’t leave now! You haven’t sung to her!!"

"HELLO!!! She’s currently belting out ‘I Will Survive’, which is a song about getting over someone and not wanting them around. I’m not that fucking dense, Carl."


Sorrow knew she would drive herself insane with "what-ifs" for the rest of her life if she didn’t do what Carl was proposing. She looked at him, a half smile on her face, and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"All right, let’s go."

Once they had walked into the bar, they realized that Alex had finished singing and Noelle was currently giving her what seemed to be a lap dance to Melissa Etheridge’s "I’m The Only One".

"Oh please, give me a break! Melissa Etheridge?! How fucking typical," she snarled.

"Yeah well you better think of something to sing quick, things are getting pretty hot and heavy over there." Carl said, pointing to Noelle, who was now straddling Alex’s lap and singing the chorus to the song. The crowd was going wild, which just made Sorrow curse Noelle all the more. She’d have to do something to top that.

"Okay, how about some R & B? Like, Boyz to Men or something?"

"Dude, she’d never go for that. And I’d rather be eaten by toothless piranhas than sing some cheezy song from those people."

"Wait, what do you think you’re going to get away with?" Carl said, turning to his friend with a questioning eye.

"Well, I figured I could sing ‘Schism’ from Tool, that’s about like, you know, being separated from your other half…"

"Dude, it’s not going to count if you sing something that you LIKE. What’s the effort? The point is singing something that she wouldn’t expect, something that no one would expect, and gets your message across clear. Tool would not fit." He said, crossing his arms across his chest for emphasis.

Sorrow’s face was priceless; she suddenly realized he had a very valid point, and started panicking even worse. What the fuck am I supposed to sing? I don’t know any of these songs… Okay, think like Alex… she wouldn’t want any of this hip-hop, R & B stuff… that’s not her style… If I picked Sublime, it’d be expected. She loves them. No… something that she wouldn’t mind listening to… something that she’d never expect me to sing… Something that tells her exactly how I feel…

Sorrow was flying through the c.d. collection of the kareoke bar. Her heart rate was so fast that she figured she’d probably be dead by the time she got up to sing. She was panicking; she still hadn’t found the perfect song. Carl threw suggestions at her, but she shrugged them off… Finally, Noelle had finished her song and the crowd was cheering wildly, screaming "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!". It was expected of a bunch of drunk college kids.

Suddenly, Sorrow found her pot of gold. She motioned for Carl to go sit down, and rushed over to the D.J., whispering something in his ear and handing him the c.d. He smiled and winked at her, and handed her a microphone.

As Noelle, Alex and Carl finally reached their table, Sorrow nervously stepped into the limelight. A hush fell over the crowd at seeing the familiar face up in front with a microphone, as opposed to huddled in the back with a beer.

"Uh.. Hey everybody, how you doin’?" She asked nervously. The crowd cheered and clapped, and then grew quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"I’m the uh, ‘arrogant bitch in the leather jacket’ that the lovely young lady over there was singing to earlier…"

The crowd roared a "BOOOOOOOOOOOO" at her, and she looked down to the floor, clearly ashamed. Alex was watching her with fascination, wondering what exactly Sorrow had in store.

"I know, I know…" Sorrow continued, "I fucked it up pretty good. But haven’t we all? I mean, haven’t we all been so scared of loving someone that you say stupid shit, and no matter what you try to do, there’s no way to take it back?"

The crowd clapped and agreed, and Sorrow got a sudden boost of encouragement.

Smiling her beautiful, feral smile, she continued, "Well, tonight, I’m here to ask anyone and everyone in this audience for moral support, cause it’s a pretty scary thing, falling in love with someone…"

"YEAAAAH!!!" The crowd screamed.

"So, for anyone that’s ever fucked up with someone they love, and wants to try to make things right again, I sing this to you. But most importantly…" Sorrow’s ice-blue eyes stared straight to Alex, who sat dumb struck at Sorrow’s admissions of love. "This song is for you Alex.." Sorrow winked at her, and turning around, took off her leather jacket as the opening chords to the song started.

Sorrow got up all her might, and closing her eyes and pretending she was alone, singing to that damn little owl, began.

"Dear, I fear we're facing a problem, You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing, That I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother, That I ought to stick to another girl
A girl that surely deserves me, But I think you do!.."
Sorrow’s voice echoed through the bar, one of the sweetest sounds any of the patrons had ever heard.

"Oh my god.." Tony whispered, "She’s not singing ‘Lovefool’ from the Cardigans, is she?"

"Yup," Carl smiled, delighted that his friend had picked, truly, the perfect song.

"I didn’t think her voice would be so… nice." Tony said, looking at Sorrow with merriment.

Carl looked over to Alex, who’s mouth hung open and her eyes were wide with shock. To everyone’s surprise, Sorrow had an incredible talent to rile up the crowd, and as she got closer to the very stunned Alex, she lifted her arms and turned to the crowd, who couldn’t have been more excited to sing along.

"So I cry, I pray and I beg…" She sang, looking into Alex’s eyes.

"Love me love me, Say that you love me
Fool me fool me, Go on and fool me
Love me love me, Pretend that you love me
Leave me leave me, Just say that you need me

Love me love me, Say that you love me
Fool me fool me, Go on and fool me
Love me love me, Pretend that you love me
Leave me leave me, Just say that you need me

I can't care 'bout anything but you..."

The crowd sang along with Sorrow, who suddenly had become quite the performer. She finally reached the table where Alex sat, and grabbed Alex’s chair and scooted her into the middle of the room to better serenade her. As she sang along to the second verse, she walked around Alex’s chair, stroking her face gently and looking into her eyes.

"Lately I have desperately pondered, Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way, To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution, I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care, As long as you don't go…"

Sorrow stepped a few feet in front of Alex, and motioning once again for the crowd’s support, the whole bar rumbled along with the words.

"SO I CRY AND I PRAY AND I BEG…" Sorrow looked to Alex and winked at her, as she built up the crowd for another earth-shattering rendition of the final chorus.

"LOVE ME LOVE ME!!" The crowd shouted.

"Say that you love me," Sorrow sang sweetly afterwards.


"Go on and fool me…"


"Pretend that you love me…"


"Just say that you need me,"

"So I cry and I beg for you to …"


"Say that you love me,"


"Just say that you need me," Sorrow sang, and dropping to her knees in front of Alex, took her hand and looked straight into her green eyes. Alex was blushing a bright red, one of her hands holding her face trying to cover the goofy smile she had.

"I don’t care about anything but you…" Sorrow stopped singing, replacing the spoken part of the song with her own petition of love to Alex.

"Please Alex," she said, "I’m sorry for all the shit I said, I need you, I love you, forgive me, please?"


"Do you think it’s going to work?" whispered an excited Tony, as he held Carl’s hand in a death grip.

"I hope so…"

"Me too… oh wait, Alex is gonna answer!" Tony said excitedly, "I love dyke drama! It’s better than soap operas!"


The music to the song faded out quickly. The bar patrons were yelling "TAKE HER BACK! TAKE HER BACK!" as Sorrow still knelt in front of Alex, who was blushing and biting her bottom lip. Sorrow began to worry, her blue eyes pleaded upwards to Alex, who, smiling, brought her head down and kissed Sorrow tenderly on the lips, and held her fiercely.

The bar, as expected, erupted with glee. People shouted, whistled, clapped, stomped on their tables, and made a huge ruckus, threatening to have the establishment down to a few bricks if the mayhem continued.

"You dumb ass," Alex said between a few tears that were falling, "I love you so much…" she said, grabbing the shocked Sorrow once again, nuzzling her face in the crook of Sorrow’s neck. Alex giggled, wishing they could be teleported somewhere private and cozy.

"I didn’t know you could sing so beautifully…" Alex mumbled against Sorrow’s neck.

"Well, I had an incentive," she said smiling. "Let’s go to my place, please? I just want to hold you without a billion people making a big deal about it."

Sorrow felt Alex laugh. Alex dislodged herself from the warmth of Sorrow’s embrace, and before they had a chance to move, they heard a shrill scream.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!" Screamed Noelle, a zealous fury in her eyes.

"How DARE you do this to me, ALEX?!?"

The bar suddenly became deadly quiet, the drunk patrons looking at the scene before them with a bit of fear.

"Noelle, I’m sorry… I care about you as a friend, I’ve told you this… but, I’m in love with Sorrow."

"Yeah, that’s not what you’ve been saying all week… you have some nerve to just do that to me, after all I’ve done! After all the times I’ve apologized and tried to be nice to you! And nothing! I get nothing in return, and now THIS?!? You run off with the bitch that five days ago broke your heart?!? You’re an idiot! You’re a fucking bitch, you ASSHOLE!!!" Noelle’s blonde hair was wild and loose behind her. Her skinny arms were moving around in frantic circles, and she bared her teeth when she spoke.

Alex calmly answered back, "Yes, I am an asshole. I’m an asshole for spending two years crying and hurting and becoming numb inside because I loved you so much I couldn’t bear the thought of not being around you. I’m an asshole for putting up with all the horrible things you’d say about me, for all the lying and cheating, all the times you STOLE from me to get money for god knows what. I’m the asshole for giving you rides to your fucking boyfriend’s house when we were TOGETHER!! I’M THE ASSHOLE FOR STICKING AROUND WHEN YOU’D BEAT ME UP BECAUSE YOU WERE SO GONE ON CRACK! BUT I’M NOT A FUCKING ASSHOLE ANYMORE, NOELLE!!" Alex’s voice cracked with fury that had been deeply imbedded in her for years since her and Noelle had been together.

Noelle’s eyes seemed to twist and become even more malicious; with a scream like a banshee, she made a jump to Alex, her claw-like nails inches from her face, when suddenly Sorrow grabbed Noelle by the hair and flung her down to the floor. She stood protectively in front of Alex, her own teeth bared and her blue eyes wild with rage.


As Noelle got up again, this time her attack was clearly on Sorrow. The crowd screamed "CATFIGHT", and suddenly a huge circle of beer guzzling bar patrons were cheering and rooting for "the blonde" or "the brunette". During this small melee, Tony had grabbed Alex and tried to get her out of the fight in an effort to protect her. Alex had protested, wanting to go and save Sorrow, but Tony’s strong arms wrapped her in a strength he didn’t know he had, and held her back. Carl tried to go to stop the fight, but when a large drunk frat boy realized he was trying to end the entertainment, he bashed a bottle over Carl’s head.

That’s when things got ugly.

Carl, a normally calm and mellow person, was anything but when prompted to fight. It took a second for what had happened to register, and when it did, Carl threw a mean left hook and knocked the frat boy flat on his ass. The whole bar erupted in a fight worthy of any movie. Chairs were thrown, bottles smashed, people pushed and shoved each other, and the D.J., in an attempt to keep the madness going, played Nine Inch Nails in the background.

Noelle and Sorrow were still fighting. Sorrow had kicked Noelle once in the stomach, and Noelle had made a slash at Sorrow with a shard of glass. However, it was Sorrow’s surprise roundhouse kick that did her in. She searched the pit of punching bodies for Carl, who currently had another drunk fat man in a head lock.

"OUT, NOW!!" she screamed, and grabbing Carl by he back of his shirt, somehow managed to escape the bar before the cops arrived to break it up.


Tony and Alex ran to Sorrow and Carl when they saw them. Alex hugged her tightly, checking the cut on her forearm that Noelle had given her.

Tony laughed and held Carl close to his chest, listening as he grumbled about having "… so much fun…" and something else about "… stupid frat boys deserved it…"

"I can’t believe that just happened," said Alex, still shaking after watching the fight.

"Ah, it wasn’t that bad… I’ve seen worse," said Sorrow, letting the statement hang in the air as Alex lifted a questioning eyebrow.

"Yeah, that was nothing. Although I miss all those old bar fights," said Carl, smiling despite hit cut bottom lip.

" ‘All those old bar fights’?" Tony and Alex said in unison, each silently making a note to have that statement further discussed later in the night.

Sorrow and Alex finally managed to get away from the scene at the kareoke bar. Alex had called her mother to let her know she was going to be home the next morning, so she had no need to worry. Her mother had grumbled and said something about protection, but Alex blushed and hung up the phone in a hurry. She and Sorrow held hands on their way to Sorrow’s place, each delighting in the feel of the other’s skin, and each silently realizing they were probably going to take a pretty big step tonight.

Okay, don’t rush anything, let her go at her pace. Just, get home, offer to go to bed, hold her, and if anything else develops… then WOO HOO!! Sorrow thought to herself as she tried to suppress a smile from forming on her face.


When they finally arrived at Sorrow’s apartment, they had walked in quietly, both feeling a bit awkward. Sorrow was the first to speak.

"I’ll give you a clean t-shirt so you have something to sleep in, and um, you can take my bed."

"Oh… uh… oh.. okay…" Alex stuttered, her illusions of FINALLY ravaging Sorrow quickly turned to dust.

Sorrow, as promised, gave Alex one of her old tshirts to sleep in. They were both changed into pajamas, (Sorrow was in a wife-beater and a loose pair of black sweat pants) and Alex was standing in the doorway of Sorrow’s bedroom, shuffling uncomfortably.

Sorrow looked up and smiled at her, and gathering up her nerve, walked over to where she stood.

"Uh, well, have a good night, then." AUGH! Stupid, that was so insensitive! She scolded herself.

Alex looked up at her, her green eyes asking the silent question that she herself wasn’t brave enough to ask.

Sorrow looked down to her, extending her hand and gliding it down Alex’s jaw, lifting her face upwards so that their lips met in an exquisite kiss. Alex reached her arms around Sorrow’s neck, pressing against her torso. A low moan escaped their lips, and breathlessly, Alex led Sorrow into her bed, guiding her down gently onto the mattress with passion filled eyes.

She climbed on top of Sorrow, straddling her. She cupped Sorrow’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply, letting her hands get tangled in Sorrow’s long black locks. She giggled and looked into Sorrow’s eyes.

"What fine handcuffs," she said, and untangled her hands. She left a trail of searing kisses along Sorrow’s cheeks and nose, her neck and earlobes, down her shoulders, over her tattoos, until Sorrow’s breath was ragged and erratic. She smiled a feral smile and flipped Alex over onto her back, lifting up the large t-shirt she had leant her with her teeth. She planted tiny kisses along Alex’s toned stomach, running her tongue along the cutest belly button she had ever seen. She paused as if unsure to let her kisses go higher, but Alex’s hands on her back encouraged her to move on. She lifted Alex up gently, running her large hands under the t-shirt, and swiftly brought it up over Alex’s head. She smiled at the exquisite sight of Alex, clad only in red underwear on the bed, her green eyes growing darker with desire. Alex’s hands found the waistband to Sorrow’s pants, and tugging them slightly, managed to get them off of Sorrow and on the floor within seconds. Next she lifted her hands to Sorrow’s top, which Sorrow took off quickly. Alex looked up at her, not realizing just how nice of a body her lover had. She trailed her fingers over the spiral tattoo on her pelvis, watching as Sorrow’s breathing seemed to stop, and her smile grow viciously feral. She trailed her hands along the firm stomach, and finally cupped Sorrow’s breasts, rubbing the hardened nipples with her thumb. Sorrow bent down to capture her lips once again. She moaned into Alex’s mouth, feeling tears begin to well up inside her.

"Alex…" she whispered huskily, "I’m sorry for everything I said…"

"Hey," Alex said into her ear, "I love you, and I forgive you. I said some pretty nasty things, too… I only ask that you forgive me of that. I was angry…" she said, running her tongue along the edge of Sorrow’s ear.

Sorrow, trying to form coherent thoughts and suppress the involuntary shudder that passed through her body every time Alex touched her, managed to get out, "I forgive you. I love you.."

They collapsed into each other then, their love-making an ethereal torture, as each woman slowly explored every crevice and inch of skin on the other. After hours of exploration, they dozed happily together, entangled in each other’s arms.


Sorrow and Alex woke the next morning to an incessant knocking. Sorrow could hear muffled giggles through the thick wood, and cursed whoever it was that was there for interrupting her sacred sleep with Alex.

Alex had groggily woken up, as well, clutching Sorrow’s body tightly with her own. They had slept as if a great wind would have torn them apart, and held on to each other through the night as if for dear life. Alex loved the feeling of waking up curled into the warmth of Sorrow’s nakedness. She could hear her lover’s heartbeat, a steady, strong rhythm, which had lulled her to an exhausted sleep, knowing it beat for her.

"Someone’s knocking…" Sorrow said, her arms reflexively tightening around Alex.

"I thought your door doesn’t have a lock?"

Sorrow quirked and eyebrow at her, realizing she was right, and yelled, "Carl?!"

A giggling and very happy Carl opened the door slightly, and Tony finished pushing it wide open.

"SURPRISE!!!" they yelled in unison, laughing as Alex blushed and buried her head in Sorrow’s chest.

Tony held a bouquet of flowers, and Carl had a bag that smelled of very delicious food. Sorrow smiled at him and nudged Alex out of her embarrassment.

"Here dude," Carl said, handing her the bag of food, "I figured you two would need it this morning. And I owed you one." He winked, knowing full well how much had transpired last night.

"And these are also for you," chimed in Tony, placing the bouquet on a windowsill and smiling at Alex. He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and she giggled.

"So," Carl said, sitting on the bed. "How was last night?" He asked, winking suggestively at the two women.

Sorrow rolled her eyes, and laughing, stood up in all her nakedness, and pulled Carl up off her bed, and grabbed Tony by the sleeve.

"All right you two, enough of the chit-chat. Miss Alex and I will be joining you two for a lovely dinner when we get tired out." She said, smiling wickedly as she watched Tony’s mouth gape open at her lack of inhibition. She could hear Alex giggling behind her, and smiled to herself, genuinely happy.

"Thanks for the food and the flowers, I’ll give you a call." She said, winking at Carl, who hugged her tightly.

"Congrats, Sorrow. I’m glad it all worked out."

"Me too." She said, smiling at both him and Tony.

"HEY!" called Alex, "Can my naked girlfriend get back in bed and out of the sight of two oggling men!" she said, laughing cheerfully as she held the blankets tightly around her chest.

Sorrow raised an amused eyebrow at Alex, who coyly smiled.

"You heard the lady, gentlemen. I’ll be seeing you."

Sorrow closed the door behind her and bounded back into her bed, climbing on top of Alex and kissing her thoroughly.

"Have I told you I love you?" she asked as she gave Alex quick kisses along her face and head.

"Not since last night, no…" she said, trying feverishly to kiss any part of Sorrow her lips could find. "And I love you, as well. Now, how about some food, I’m starved…"

"Yeah, me too," agreed Sorrow, who happily reached into the bag and extracted a blueberry muffin.

The two devoured their food, and Sorrow was delighted to find that Carl bought her raspberries, which she fed to Alex.

"I’m your slave for eternity…" she said, kissing one of Alex’s perfect earlobes.

They giggled and fed each other their breakfast, the only time Sorrow left Alex’s side was to bring something to drink to her room.

When Sorrow had left, Alex had noticed her sketchbook lying open on the floor. Although most of her said it was wrong to do so, she had climbed out of bed and picked up the book. She was shocked when she looked at the sketch; it was her! The first day of painting class, when she had initially been staring at Sorrow, Sorrow was drawing her. She smiled and blushed, remembering the day, and noticed the scribbled word at the bottom.

"Amazing…" she read aloud to herself.

Sorrow walked into the room again, noticing that Alex had the book open. She blushed, knowing what page she was looking at. She climbed in next to Alex, and kissing her neck, put her head to rest on Alex’s shoulder.

"You like it?" she asked her, suddenly nervous all over again.

"It’s beautiful."

"No, you’re beautiful. Anything I do pales in comparison."

Alex smiled and closing the book, assaulted Sorrow once again.

The End

"LoveFool" by the Cardigans used without permission.

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