And it’s alright though we worry and fuss
we can’t get over the hump can’t get over us
It seems easier to push than to let go and trust
But it’s alright

Emily Sailers

Chapter 5: System Crashes

            “Take it easy,” Rielle’s voice soothed. “You’re okay, it’s just a dream.”

            Xero blinked, then realized she was shaking. Her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness, she realized she was back in her cot, dressed in her sweats, covered by a thin blanket. “I’m fine,” she replied with an assurance she didn’t feel. She was curled almost in a ball, her head and shoulders resting in the syscop’s lap. While the hacker wasn’t completely happy about the body language of the arrangement, she wasn’t anxious for the smaller woman to release her any time soon.

            “I know you’re fine,” Rielle echoed gently. “You’ve had a shock, that’s all.” The syscop was gently stroking the hacker’s head, the tender touch keeping the larger woman still and quiet. “I found some pills in your toolbox,” she continued. “How long have you had the habit?”

            Xero chuckled. “They’re mild uppers, Rielle, nothing major. I’m sure your marketing executive, Paula, uses the same stuff.”

            “It’s not that you use them, Xero. It’s why.” Rielle tightened her hold on the other woman slightly to keep her from bolting. “I’m not stupid. You didn’t have to work night and day. You made damn good money on the jobs you did, and you had help. You took the pills to keep from dreaming, didn’t you?”

            “What of it?” Xero replied in a small voice. “I’m dreaming now, aren’t I?”

            “Yes, yes you are,” Rielle affirmed gently. The pride in her voice was evident. Xero would have groaned out loud if she’d had the energy. Instead she lay there, letting the smaller woman comfort her. The syscop didn’t ask what the dream had been about and Xero wondered if she knew. Deciding not to offer the details unless pressed, the hacker remained motionless, absorbing the kindness offered. In time she drifted close enough to unconsciousness that Rielle moved her head from her lap to a more comfortable position on the cot. She took a moment to adjust the outlaw’s arms and legs, careful to keep healthy blood circulation in the limbs. When she finished, she positioned herself next to Xero, sitting upright, leaning against the wall. Gently, her hand continued to stroke the hacker’s dark hair.

            “You don’t have to be this nice,” Xero mumbled sleepily.

            Rielle smiled, “I know,” she replied, and continued with her tender ministrations.

            “I’ll never... get to sleep this way,” Xero muttered, rolling on to her side and moving a bit closer to the syscop. She draped one arm over the syscop’s right thigh as if the smaller woman’s leg was a teddy bear.

            “Maybe not,” Rielle allowed, beaming. “But I’ll take my chances,” she finished, echoed by the soft snoring of her sleeping companion.

 

            “Rise and shine sleepyhead, rise and shine.” The words assaulted Xero’s mind like the din of a radio alarm clock set to a language she didn’t understand.

            “I’ll rise,” she groaned, “but shining is out of the question.” The words sounded familiar to the hacker’s own ears but she felt a little odd saying them. Fortunately, she was distracted by an intense pain emanating from her lower legs. “What the fuck is wrong with my shins,” she demanded, throwing back the blanket.

            Rielle was instantly at her side, pulling up one leg of the sweatpants to the hacker’s knee. Unable to see anything visibly wrong with the leg she squeezed Xero’s arm reassuringly. “I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’ll go get Henry just in case.”

            She headed up the stairs and returned shortly thereafter with a groggy Henry in tow. He was dressed in t-shirt and boxers, clearly having just been thoroughly and relentlessly woken up. “What are you whining about?” he grumbled sleepily.

             Like an animal that you should have killed with the first shot, Xero’s eyes narrowed as Henry kneeled before her and examined her legs. “Those needles you’ve been sticking me with, I think they did something to my legs. They’re killing me.”

            He made a few careful prods, extracting a pained wince from Xero with each touch. Finally, he sat back on his haunches and looked the hacker squarely in the eye. “Xero, you’re actually right for a change. The needles did their work. I’m happy to report that you’ve got the feeling back in your lower legs.”

            “Feeling?!” Xero demanded. “Try excruciating pain.”

            “It’ll pass,” the healer assured her. “Go for a swim—it’ll help the circulation and keep your mind off the pain.” Xero glared at him and he silenced her with a wave of his hand. “Before you argue, for no good reason other than you’re argumentative by nature, let me explain something. When a dam breaks, the water doesn’t flow out at a nice leisurely pace. It rushes out destroying anything still in its path. Why do people end up in therapy? They shut down parts of themselves, for whatever reason, and then, in time, they lose it and see a shrink to control the flood. Same thing is happening to your legs.”

            “My legs need a shrink?” Xero demanded sarcastically.

            “Your legs among other things,” the healer grinned back. “Let’s just say they’re feeling again, and I hope to God I’m not around should the rest of you decide to follow suit. As long as you work the muscles, the pain will lessen and you’ll get your coordination back.”

            “Well, I’m not getting back in that freezing pond,” the hacker maintained.

            Henry shrugged. “Fine. I don’t care whether you legs mend or not.” Rielle glared at him sharply and his manner softened somewhat. “Look, why don’t you start with walking? I’ve got some braces to help you get started. The more you use your legs, the quicker the pain will subside. If you don’t, you can seriously fuck yourself up.”

            When the healer headed back upstairs, Xero hoped it was for good. To her dismay, he returned with two aluminum leg braces and a pair of crutches. He stayed long enough to get the braces attached and crutches properly fitted before excusing himself under the pretense of getting food.

            With a sense of resignation, Xero looked across the sunny expanse of land behind Henry’s house. The afternoon sun glinted off the still waters of the pond. The air was comfortable and crisp. By all accounts, it had to be classified a beautiful day. Putting such thoughts aside, the hacker grabbed the crutches and prepared for battle. Attached to her forearms, the aluminum crutches had padded grip to clutch while balancing her body. Supporting her weight with her arms and upper body, she could feel just how withered she’d become over the last few days.

            “So how did things go last night?” she asked after taking her first tentative step into the springy soil.

            “With Helms?” Rielle clarified, keeping a wary eye on her companion’s progress. She resisted the urge to assist the hacker and watched as the taller woman struggled to move one leg in front of the other. Keeping her voice light, she tried to distract the outlaw from the pain she was obviously feeling. “Went off without a hitch. I got up from my seat just as he passed my table and bumped into him. Deetjun’s has a very cozy dining room. Henry and I stayed up and listened to the broadcast. Oh, and we recorded it for you since you kinda passed out.”

            Xero expelled a controlled breath of air. Frustrated at the exertion required for three steps, she nodded and shifted her leg for step number four. “Did he say anything interesting?”

            “Well, he joked with his security about which mistress he’d spend the night with.”

            Xero snorted. “Let me guess, was it Buffy or Walter?”

            The syscop smiled. “Actually the bets were running Microsoft, with Fox and Telleride tying for second. I get the impression that Helms is too busy deal making to worry about more carnal pleasures.”

            Pausing thoughtfully, Xero considered the options. “A computer company trying to make it back to the big-time, the number one network, and an arms manufacturer. Interesting bedmates. So I take it he was heading up north?”

            Rielle nodded. “No, south. Apparently he’s going to meet with Microsoft at a Santa Barbara ranch. When he got into the car, he made some crack about having a BBQ in the President’s back yard.”

            “President Taborn has a house in Santa Barbara. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t spend a few days there, between funerals.” The hacker’s breathing grew labored, taxed by the effort of willing her pained legs into motion. Rielle sympathized, but didn’t comment. She doubted the hacker would have appreciated any effort to help.

            “The President made a statement yesterday on the news. Clearly she’s a bit broken up; some of her good friends, not to mention political allies, are dropping like flies. She’s cautioning everyone to stay away from their computers unless absolutely necessary. A special task force is being assembled to look into the problem. Taborn suggested several computer gurus and got some flack for trying to include some Hollywood people. Congress wanted to add committee members representing everything from the dairy council to the committee on foreign affairs.”

            The hacker stopped abruptly, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Slowly, a look of comprehension eased across her sculpted features and she smiled knowingly.

            “What is it?” Rielle prompted.

            “Come on,” Xero replied, heading for the house once more. Back at the desk she began rifling through the stack of papers. “President Taborn isn’t stupid,” the hacker said in a rush as she looked through her notes. “Now, what is it we know for sure? Something in the network is unsubbing people, and we know there’s a pattern to who’s been unsubbed. Now we hear that she isn’t turning to just government goons to fix this. If Taborn’s looking for outsiders—like Hollywood—then she must suspect some government agency has a hand in this.”

            “The military?” Rielle asked. “They have the most powerful computers. And Helms is a big supporter.”

            “Maybe,” the hacker allowed with a smile. “And what could fight that? What industry is bigger than the military, with more money… and more powerful computers?”

            Rielle thought a moment before her eyes snapped up in understanding. “Entertainment,” she whispered.

            Xero grinned broadly. “The President is suspicious of her own people and wants to bring in the celluloid thugs to help clean house. She can’t turn to Congress because he’s got a foothold there. Congress hates Hollywood already either for destroying modern civilization, or pointing out that our civilization needs some work. Who better to trust to do some effective troubleshooting?”

            “It still doesn’t make sense though,” Rielle insisted. “While the Entertainment giants might have the biggest guns in terms of computing capability, they don’t have any love for the government. Why would they help?”

            “They won’t,” Xero agreed. “And it’s a shame because Helms has said he’s running for office and he hates Hollywood. But it isn’t just because they’re greedy pigs and want to sit back while everything falls apart around them. Hollywood isn’t designed to do anything quickly, unless it’s to cash in on something tragic, even then it takes a ton of people to do it.”

            “So why are you smiling?” Rielle finally asked, completely confused. “Taborn will go to them for help but they won’t be able to…”

            “Because if you add hackers into the mix of Hollywood computing firepower, suddenly you’ve got a force that can do very big things, very quickly,” Xero said with a smirk. Rielle sat there silent, staring at the familiar gleam that had suddenly come to a pair of sparkling blue eyes.

 

 

            The black limousine headed south down highway one, its lone occupant in the back seat, oblivious to the breathtaking stretch of ocean outside the passenger window. Hitting a button on his remote to activate the intercom, Jasper Helms addressed the driver.

            “When do we reach Santa Barbara?”

            “In three hours, forty-eight minutes, Senator Helms,” the driver replied politely.

            Absently, Helms nodded and touched another button on his remote to activate the monitor set into the command console of the car and watched the news with only half his attention. The grisly images of charred remains in story after story no longer gave him the sense of a job well done. While they were still political enemies and hackers for the most part, and therefore deserving of such a fate, he’d seen too much death in the past few days to have it really mean anything anymore. In a world populated by short attention spans, Jasper Helms was a walking attention deficit.

            Restless and edgy, he looked for some distraction on the long ride to his next meeting. That was all his life was of late—meetings and conquests and watching charred bodies on the news.

            Punching a seldom used number into his mobie unit, he waited impatiently for an answer.

            “Yes?” a female voice answered.

            “Any sign of Xero?” Helms didn’t bother to announce himself. The hacker knew damn well who he was and it was only due to his foresight she’d not met the same fate as many of her colleagues.

            “No, Senator,” she replied, sounding as edgy as he felt. “I heard she left just after Bat’s wake. No one knows where she went. I’ve got my sources looking into it. I’m sure I can find her, I just need more time.”

            “Time, my dear, is one thing you’ve got precious little of. Why don’t you go have a look ‘round Xero’s place. See if you can dig up anything there.”

            “Okay,” the voice answered a bit dubiously. “I’ll need some time to make my way there unobserved. There’s been a lot of action at The ‘Horn and activity around Xero’s place. It’ll have to look natural.”

            “Take a day or two if you need it, but do something to get me that hacker!” Annoyed he cut the connection to the call, filling the limo with silence once again. It was possible that his contact had begun to fear for her own safety. Nervous traitors weren’t very good allies. Still not satisfied, he placed another call.

            “Yes, Senator,” a gravely male voice intoned from the private line to his office.

            “I have some sanitation work for you, Douglas. A young woman will be heading toward the missing hacker’s apartment. She should show in the next couple of days.”

            “I’ll take care of it,” the voice replied.

            Helms clicked off his mobie unit, gazing out the car window. The morning was looking up after all.

 

 

            Hours later, both women were sitting on the floor of Henry’s workroom, the gutted computer remains strewn around them. “You really did a number on the system,” the hacker commented dismally as she inspected several cracked circuit boards for useable parts.

            “You’d rather I let you fry?” Rielle inquired as she removed the dented casing from a brain box. “I told you, the system’s a loss. It’s just as well. Logging on will kill you at this point.”

            “We need to find some way to hook into the ‘horn node,” Xero explained. “We need database access if we’re going to get a comprehensive list of the unsubbed. I should also give them a heads up to start working on getting a message to the President.”

            “Don’t even tell me hackers have that kind of access,” Rielle demanded.

            Xero only winked. “Afraid you’ll be out of a job? Relax. Under ordinary circumstances we’d be shot on sight. But if President Taborn wants to talk to Entertainment, the chances are she might want to talk to us. But we can’t get the word out unless we can get to the ‘Horn node.” With a frustrated grunt, she tossed another brain box aside. “Shit, none of this stuff is any good.”

            Rielle let out a frustrated sigh and glanced at her watch. They’d been at it for some time. She’d noticed her companion shift uncomfortably on the floor more than once and could only imagine the pain the hacker was hiding.

            “Come on, Xero,” she offered casually. “Let’s go for a swim.”

            Xero lifted only her eyes from the hardware she was holding. “I told you already, I don’t swim.”

            “And I told you I could teach you. Besides, it isn’t like we’re making any progress. The walk might do us both some good.” Rielle kept her voice casual but studied her companion carefully. Unpredictable and volatile... She wasn’t sure what the hacker’s reaction would be.

            Xero’s eyes narrowed slightly and she looked past Rielle to the pond beyond the house. “It’s fifty feet from here to the pond. What kind of ‘walk’ is that?” As an afterthought, she looked at the sky. Noting that it was fast approaching dusk, she relaxed visibly.

            “There’s another spot Henry told me about, only a short hike away. It’d probably be good for your legs to stretch them.” With a wicked grin she added, “Unless you’re afraid, of course. Come on, I dare you”. Arms crossed at her chest, Rielle MacGab was the picture of confidence and challenge. Her grin didn’t even falter as the hacker’s eyebrow raised dangerously. Oh yeah, she’d hit a nerve.

            “Fine,” Xero growled. “We swim.”

            The syscop headed upstairs with a smile and returned a few moments later, carrying a small backpack slung over one shoulder.

            Xero nodded toward the glass door as she stood, settling herself onto the crutches. “Lead on.”

            “Look at the bright side. Henry said the water isn’t freezing--it’s part of a hot spring,” Rielle commented as they made their way along.

            Xero rolled her eyes. “Great, now I get to collect parasites as well as drown.” Relying on her crutches for support, she followed the syscop down the narrow trail that extended from the back of the healer’s property. Rielle stopped at several points to take in the spectacular views of the ocean and rock formations below. As the sun sank below the expanse of water, the horizon took on an eerie blood red glow. From the corner of her eye, Rielle watch Xero lick her lips nervously. The hacker was as awed by the sight as she was. After several failed attempts at conversation, she sighed in frustration at her limited success. It was hard for her to determine if Xero was quiet because she was miserable or really that antisocial. Just like Xena.

            “How are the legs feeling?” she tried one more time as they left the trail at the landmark Henry had described.

            “Like I’m wading knee deep in razor blades,” Xero replied, her voice neutral.

            Rielle was genuinely worried. “I’m really sorry, Xero. Henry was certain you’d start to feel immediate improvement once you started using them.”

            “Rielle,” the hacker assured her with a smile. “It is an improvement.”

            With a relieved sigh, the syscop led Xero onto a rock outcrop that jutted over a long narrow expanse of water. “Here we are, just where Henry said it would be.” The hacker grunted noncommittally and sat down, so far the only indication that the half mile hike had been taxing. Rielle continued to explore and filling the silence with the details she’d learned. “Henry said that this pool was formed in the Great Quake of ‘17 when all the geothermal activity thrust up closer to the surface.”

            “Oh goodie,” the hacker grumbled.

            Rielle smiled and extracted a few things from her pack. She tossed Xero a towel and a flashlight to strap to her wrist. She also picked up a small bottle and carefully removed the top. “These drops will take care of those parasites you’re worried about, if there even are any.” Demonstrating, she tilted her head back, put a drop in each eye, nostril, and ear. Finally, she squeezed the bottle and several drops landed on her extended tongue.

            “Why are you so into water?” Xero asked with a baffled expression. “It seems like a lot of work for nothing.”

            “Oh come on, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy hot baths as a kid?” Rielle replied handing her the bottle.

            The hacker’s expression didn’t change. “I’ve never had a bath. Orphanages have spray showers.”

            Embarrassed, Rielle looked away, letting her gaze drift over steaming pool of water. “I’m sorry, Xero. I forgot. What house did you grow up in?”

            The hacker tilted her head back and let a droplet fall into her left eye. “Shit, that stings,” she grumbled. After a shrug, she concentrated on the right. “I did time in seven different houses. I left the houses all together when I was thirteen.”

            Rielle’s jaw dropped as Henry’s dismal assessment of the hacker resurfaced in her memory. “You’ve been on your own that long?”

            Xero shrugged again. “Call it my version of summer camp.”

            “So how did you fall into hacking?” the syscop asked gently.

            Her dark companion handed the bottle back with a suspicious glare. “What does it matter?”

            “I’m just trying to make small talk, give me a break,” Rielle replied. “You’d think you’d never had a civil conversation before.” After strapping the small flashlight to her own wrist, she knelt in front of the hacker. “Can I help you get these braces off? Or are you going to snap at me if I try?”

            “You can help,” Xero answered quietly. “Thank you.”

            “See, I knew you had manners,” the syscop chuckled.

            “Don’t push it, Rielle.”

            Once braces and clothes had been discarded, Rielle helped Xero maneuver over the smooth rocks to the steaming pool. It was narrower but longer than the pond in Henry’s back yard. Sloping down gently, the water only reached the hacker’s waist by the middle of the pool.

            “Ohhh, this is wonderful,” Rielle purred as she immediately submerged herself and shoved off into a back stroke.

            “Yeah, nice,” her companion grumbled uncomfortably.

            With the air temperature dropping, Xero was faced with the fact that being in the water was considerably more comfortable than being out of it. And the pain in her legs eased up a little as the water supported her weight. Aside from the fact that it was water, it wasn’t half bad.

            Rielle returned to Xero’s side and stood. Wading carefully, she pointed out where the steep drops were. “As long as we stay around here, you can put your feet down any time you’d like and you’ll be standing.”

            Xero looked dubiously at the water. “Anything else in here but us?”

            Flicking on the flashlight, Rielle scanned the pool. “There might be some fish. Henry says he swims here all the time. He tests the water regularly and it’s clean. He’s even seen animals on the banks from time to time.”

            “More shades of summer camp?” the hacker asked, using her own flashlight to illuminate her immediate surroundings.

            “Is that so bad?” Rielle challenged gently, returning to the hacker’s side once more.

            Xero shrugged. “No. Not bad, just different.”

            “If it’s any consolation, I taught swimming when I worked there. Didn’t lose a single camper in the three years I did it.” The hacker nodded but didn’t comment. “The most important thing you have to do is relax. Try not to tense up. You float much better when you’re relaxed. Get tense and you’ll sink like a rock.”

            “That’s comforting.”

            Rielle laughed at Xero’s gruffness and moved behind her. “Ease yourself into the water, let me hold you up. We’re just going to have you float on your back. I’ll have your shoulders and you’ll be able to breathe. Got it?”

            The hacker began to comply and Rielle eased her hands onto strong shoulders. Muscles taut as bowstrings were her first indication at how nervous her companion truly was. “So why don’t you tell me when you started hacking? Or are you afraid I’ll find you that you haven’t been at it as long as your rap sheet states.”

            Xero’s body tensed once more as her feet left the bottom of the pool. Focusing on Rielle’s voice, drifting to her ears from somewhere above her head. “My record is pretty accurate. You know a better way for a thirteen year old to make a living?”

            “A thirteen year old shouldn’t have to earn a living,” Rielle replied emphatically.

            “Truly spoken by someone who hasn’t done any time in the ‘houses’.” Unbidden memories surfaced, a collage of voices and images flickering through her mind, then vanishing. Reprimand, embarrassment, and conflict all jostled for primary attention. By force of will and habit, Xero closed the door and continued with her narrative. “I considered dealing black market plague drugs, but I was ten at the time and it’s hard to make those types of connections. I started running parts for some local hackers instead. Three years of that and I was ready to work on my own.”

            “I’m sure you could have gone to college?” Rielle challenged as she supported the hacker’s body in the warm water.

            “A half million in debt just for starters? I don’t think so. Besides...there were a few people I needed to settle a score with. Hacking let me do it.” With a satisfied grin she remembered the look on the headmaster’s face as he was taken to prison, a broken man. “I suppose you went to college?” the hacker asked trying desperately not to think about the water.

            Rielle cleared her throat before answering. “Yeah, I did,” she answered tightly. Xero opened her eyes to the pained expression gazing down at her from above.

            “I thought college was a good thing,” Xero remarked mildly.

            “My dad was a scientist. He worked for a bio-corp. His company paid for my education when he died.” Rielle’s words were flat, numb, as if she were prepared for any reaction and didn’t care what it was.

            Xero’s feet shot to the bottom of the pool and she stood in the shallow water, looking down in surprise at her companion. “Your dad was a Plague-Bearer? He did rainforest work?”

            The syscop nodded. “Yeah. He was looking for medical cures and was part of the team that brought the Red Death home to America. That’s why I got the education, the house, the cushy job. Archive Corp. is covering their tracks.”

            Xero shrugged, easing back into the water once more. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. They should pay. That doesn’t mean your skills aren’t top notch anyways. Hell, you tapped me online after all.”

            Rielle stared at her, dumbfounded. “How can you say that? My father is responsible for the death of millions of people. Maybe even your parents!”

            “Considering I’m a criminal, I have a hard time being too concerned about any one else’s track record. Sure, I think what the bio-companies did was stupid. Stupid and arrogant. But that isn’t your fault. Explains why you’re such a do-gooder though,” she added with a wink.

            “Aside from trying to bring you in, I can’t say I’ve done much do-gooding. Yeah, I’ve caught a fair share of hackers, but I’ve done plenty I’m not proud of too.” As the syscop spoke, she slowly moved away from the hacker’s shoulders, letting the larger woman float on her own.

            “Speaking of mistakes, why did you marry Paula?” Xero teased as she struggled to keep the panic out of her voice. After taking a couple of deep breaths, she again relaxed in the water.

            “What makes you think I was talking about Paula?”

            Xero shrugged, then struggled a moment to regain her balance. Giving up she stood and looked down at the syscop, water streaming off of her body. “Because I can tell you’re not in love with her. I doubt you ever were. She isn’t what you’re looking for.”

            Rielle turned away, the words hitting too close to home. “Maybe so,” she said tightly. “But people make choices. Sometimes they choose to make do when what they want eludes them…or when they don’t even know what it is they want.” With a sad shake of her head she smiled. “This isn’t the first time it’s happened to me. Gabrielle herself married the wrong guy. She didn’t have to live with the mistake of marriage for long though since Callisto killed him the next day. Instead she had to live with the guilt of his death for the rest of her life.”

            “From the looks of it, I’d say that guilt lasted longer than one lifetime.”

            Rielle couldn’t help but smile. “Stop being so nice or I won’t recognize you. Get back in the water and let’s teach you to swim. I’m going to do this, even if it kills you.”

            Xero was an apt, if stubborn student. She showed promise though, and in time she mastered the rudimentary skills of swimming. While she lacked the graceful glide of Rielle moving through the water. She could manage getting from one length of the swimming hole to the other, and that was a victory.

           

 

            When the moon was directly overhead, they decided to head back. Rielle was aware of Xero’s eyes on her body as she toweled off. Grateful for the darkness that surrounded them, she was relieved the blush on her cheeks couldn’t be seen. “So did they hurt?” she asked, handing the hacker her sweatshirt.

            “What? These?” Xero asked glancing down at her breasts. “Sure. But hey, lots of things hurt.”

            “Got anything else pierced?” the syscop asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

            “Wanna find out?” Xero asked with a steady gaze.

            “I just asked,” Rielle shot back defensively.

            “As did I,” the hacker replied.

            As they made their way up the trail to Henry’s house, Rielle decided to change the subject. “Have you thought that boosting the power and range of your mobie might let you get a crude message to the ‘horn node?”

            “Sure, I’ve thought of it,” Xero allowed. “But we don’t have the parts I’d need for that kind of converter.”

            “It’s no big deal. I can take Henry’s car when we get back to the house, head up to Carmel. A couple of scramblers, a power cel, and adaptor can’t be that hard to find.”

            Xero grinned broadly. “So the syscop knows how to make a beacon. Nicely done. I suppose you know a vendor as well?”

            “No,” Rielle allowed. “But I’m sure Henry would tell me where to go at this time of night. Trust me, he wants us to figure this out and get the hell out of his house.”

            “Good. Then I’ll head out when we get back.”

            “You’ll do nothing of the kind,” Rielle shot back fiercely. “Your credit isn’t any good, you’re dead-- remember? That kind of cash transaction raises suspicion and we can’t risk it. Let me get the parts, and you can rig up the beacon when I get back.”

            “Fine, have it your way,” the hacker chuckled as she followed her companion up the dark trail.

 

            It was near dawn when Henry descended the stairs to the work room. Xero was still up. She appeared to be working, but he knew better. He watched a moment as she shuffled papers, read a few lines, then shuffled them again. She was waiting up for Rielle. With a resigned sigh, he coughed and made his presence known. The look on his face brought Xero instantly to her feet.

            “What happened?” she demanded.

            “I got a call from a friend in Carmel,” he explained. “There was an…incident at the place where Rielle went to get parts. She’s been picked up.”

            “What the fuck do you mean ‘picked up’!” Instantly, she was charging towards the stairs. Fortunately for Henry, she was only able to charge at approximately half speed. The healer quickly backed up, putting his arms out to keep the enraged hacker at a distance.

            “I don’t know, okay? Some woman showed up with a medical carrier and four orderlies.”

            “What woman?” Xero demanded, enraged.

            “Mike said she was tall, dark hair. I guess she’d been tracking Rielle. Since she brought medics, she probably took her to a medical facility.”

            “That bitch,” Xero growled as she lunged for her mobie. Heedless of the dangers of traced calls, she punched in a private code. “Shadow? This is Xero. I don’t have time to explain. I need everything you’ve got on some chick named Paula. She works for Archive Corporation in Marketing. She was on the American fencing team in ‘36. Yeah, it’s related. Listen, I just need to find her. Call me on the mobie when you’ve got her. I’m on my way back.”

            Tossing the hand held unit aside, she was about to turn but froze. Henry had jabbed her in the neck, squarely hitting a nerve. She felt her knees go weak as he eased her to the sleeping mat once more.

            “You’re not leaving right now, Xero,” he explained. “Rielle would have my head. Rest first, have some food in the morning, and then I’ll let you go. You can’t do anything for her tonight anyway.”

            “You bastard,” she seethed as her vision began to swim.

            “Hey, remember that scene in The Empire Strikes Back where Luke insists on ignoring Yoda and ruins everything? Well, pretend I’m Yoda. Trust me, Xero, it’ll all work out. I promise.” His voice was gentle and his eyes knowing. The hacker felt her stomach sink.

            “Wh…who does Rielle say y…you were?” she mumbled, fighting to keep her eyes open.

            “Lyceus,” he answered with a chuckle.

 

 

            A cold chill swept across the steppes, whipping Xero’s long black hair about her face and shoulders. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, noting once again she was wearing a checked flannel shirt. She noted with some relief that she had her boots this time. Looking around for either Janice or Mel, she caught a glimpse of the archeologist walking along the plains, distracted.

            “I don’t have time for this,” the hacker announced by way of greeting. “Something’s happened to Rielle, I’ve gotta wake up.”

            Janice Covington drew her eyes from the windswept plains to gaze up at the hacker. Eyes shining with unshed tears, she simply shrugged and returned her gaze to the plains. “So go,” she said quietly.

            Xero stared at her in surprise. “What’s gotten into you?” she demanded. “I can’t just ‘go’, if that worked you think I’d still be here?”

            “Then stay,” Janice supplied absently.

            Worried, Xero shook Janice’s shoulder gently. “What’s the matter?”

            Janice turned away to wipe her eyes on the sleeve of her brown leather jacket. “Nothing. I was just thinking about someone I miss, that’s all. She would have really loved these plains, ya know.”

            “Mel?” Xero asked, puzzled.

            With a nod, the archeologist pulled herself together. “Mel. Right. Follow me. She’s not far from here.”

            Xero was going to press further, to see what memory had moved the gruff scientist to tears, but was distracted by the field of bodies that littered the plains. “What the hell happened here?”

            Janice studied the carnage for a moment before answering. “Two raiding parties descended on a caravan. Notice any difference in how these men were killed?”

            Xero looked at the corpses her companion indicated. One warrior was stabbed through the chest, another had his head almost severed from his body. Attached by only a small strand of skin and muscle, the bones of the neck had been completely severed. “I’d say whoever killed this one is bad news. Takes a certain passion and rage to make this much of a mess.”

            “You’re right,” Janice agreed. “Xena killed him.”

            “She’s changed, hasn’t she?” Xero asked apprehensively.

            Janice nodded sadly. “You know she has. When M’lila died in her arms something snapped. Everything since the battle for Amphipolis and Caesar’s betrayal came to a head and she completely lost it. She made her way down the mountain to the home of a fisherman named Walsum and persuaded him to take her to Chin, trying to get away from the humiliation of what Caesar did.”

            “How’d she persuade him?” Xero asked as the two walked through the littered remains of the caravan.

            Janice shrugged. “She killed his family. Granted, he didn’t know she did it. She came in, took advantage of the situation and before you know it, he’s on a one way trip to asassinhood.”

            “So this was as bad as she got?” the hacker asked, trying to keep the hopeful edge from her voice.

            “Oh no,” Janice replied, “it gets worse.”

            Xero caught the scent of horses and looked up to see two small groups of raiders facing each other. One broke off from each group and rode toward each other, stopping a short distance away from Janice and Xero.    “I must know,” the first raider said with a Slavic accent. “Who are you? I’ve never seen anyone fight the way you do.” Xena removed her head covering, shaking her dark hair loose. “My God,” Borias gasped.

            “My name is Xena,” she replied smoothly. “And I have a simple proposition. Join me and we will share the spoils from the caravan or you can fight me and I will kill you and all of your men.”

            It was clear from her expression and tone that she wasn’t bluffing and Borias knew it. Given a free shot at life, he nodded graciously. “My name is Borias,” he said. “And I would be honored to join forces with you.”

            Xena smiled and Borias shifted uncomfortably on his horse. “You’re a smart man, Borias. I have need of smart men.” After licking her lips dangerously, she kicked her horse into a trot and rejoined the group.

            Borias watched her go, shaking his head. “Who would expect a demon of Tartarus to be so beautiful.”

            As they began to walk, Xero noticed a slight change in the landscape around her, the seasons shifting before her very eyes. Shortly they were again approaching a small group of mounted raiders.

            “You said Xena was crippled, but she seems pretty comfortable on horseback,” Xero observed, her curiosity getting the better of her as she (and the other raiders assembled) watched an intimate exchange between the warrior and Borias. “Never seen anyone get a quick fuck on horseback before.”

            Janice smiled, appreciating the hacker’s directness and relieved that Mel wasn’t around to wince and roll her eyes. “Horseback is the only place she’s as capable as everyone else. Not that she does it exclusively on horseback, mind you, but I think she’s trying to prove that she’s as desirable as anyone. Evil people can be insecure too.”

            Xero looked around. “I don’t see any other women here. It ain’t like she’s got competition.” The hacker’s observations were cut short as a messenger delivered word to Borias.

            “Let him wait!” Xena demanded, pulling Borias close.

            “Come on, Xena. We can do this anytime.”

            “Don’t be so sure,” she shot back.

            With a laugh, he shoved Xena from his horse and tossed a crutch down to her. “I don’t want you messing things up.”

            Xena watched him ride off. With a frustrated growl she climbed to her feet and hobbled back to her own horse. “Run to your master—puppy,” she muttered.

            Janice and Xero followed, and arrived back at camp just as a figure emerged from a litter. Introductions already underway, and both Xena and Xero studied Lao Ma intently.

            “Please forgive my husband for sending his insignificant wife to handle such difficult affairs of state,” Lao Ma said softly. “He’s very ill.”

            “She’s some piece of work,” the hacker commented.

            “Yes, she is,” a new voice agreed, stepping clear of the yurt. Mel headed over to join the other two, draping her arm affectionately around Janice’s shoulders. “Forgive me for not joining you on the battlefield but...”

            “It’s okay,” the hacker replied absently, eyes still fixed on Lao’s wife. She was distracted by Xena’s snicker at a comment Lao Ma made about Borias. With a slight turn, the tall woman of C’hin was facing Xena. Xero couldn’t help but feel caught in her gaze as well.

            “You must be Xena,” she said simply.

            The warrior’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Oh, you’ve heard of me,” she said without surprise.

            Xero turned to glare at Xena, muttering “asshole” under her breath. When she looked back she was certain Lao Ma was looking directly at her.

            “Oh yes,” she said with respect. “They say you’re a dangerous woman.”

            “Well, they’re right,” Xena replied without missing a beat.

            “Can she see me?” Xero asked Janice who watched the exchange with interest.

            “Nah, this is the past. How can you be seen? You’re already here as Xena and Xero isn’t born yet,” Janice replied honestly. “Still, I’ve read in Gabrielle’s scrolls that Lao Ma was supposed to possess some unusual powers. If anyone out here could see you, I guess it’d be her. Either way, it doesn’t matter—you are dangerous.”

            “Janice, don’t encourage her,” Mel scolded as she led the trio into the yurt.

            The three women watched for a time as Borias and Lao discussed the ins and outs of negotiations. Xena immersed herself in opium, rarely taking her eyes of the enigmatic Chinese woman. Blue eyes narrowed dangerously when she sensed that Borias was as captivated as she was. With blinding speed, a knife flew from the warrior’s hand and impaled itself into a serving platter near Lao Ma’s fingers. “That’s my piece of meat you’re reaching for,” she growled dangerously.

            Without hesitation Lao Ma’s eyes captured Xena’s. “You’re wrong. I don’t eat meat.”

            The warrior’s eyes widened at the implication then narrowed dangerously. “Well now,” Xero chuckled. “Xena finally catches on.” The hacker looked down at the archeologist standing at her side. “Please tell me she makes up for lost time tonight.”

            “Why don’t you step outside and see for yourself,” Mel suggested coldly, a stern frown on her face.

            With a shrug, the hacker complied and stepped outside the yurt to see Lao Ma kneeling over Xena’s prone body.

            Borias ran up, looking at Xena suspiciously. “What happened?” he and Xero asked in unison.

            “I’m sorry, Borias,” Lao Ma replied. “I’ll be leaving immediately. I don’t think an alliance is appropriate, now.” Swiftly, the Chinese woman bent over to whisper something to Xena, then gathered herself to go.

            Xero was stunned. “I don’t get it,” she protested. “All because Xena got friendly?”

            “Xena tried to kill her,” Janice supplied. “Ended up getting her ass kicked. Lao Ma’s got some pretty interesting moves.”

            “I don’t doubt it,” Xero replied with a smirk. “So what did she say?”

            “Can you remember?” Mel asked gently.

            Xero looked at Mel. Something about the woman unsettled her. Like looking into a mirror and seeing a kinder reflection looking back, Xero could see in those gentle blue eyes everything she would never be. Mel understood it too and smiled sadly.

            “I’m not who you think I am,” the hacker whispered. Gazing down at Xena, her heart went out to the prone woman. “I don’t have her drive.”

            “Fill yourself with desire and see only illusion. Empty yourself of desire and understand the great mystery of things,” Mel whispered softly.

            Xero returned her attention to the Southerner. “That has got to be the lamest advice I’ve ever heard.”

            “It’s over, Xena.” Borias said with a growl. “You have until sunrise to get out of this camp. After that— I’ll kill you on sight.”

            Xena was gone within the hour. A few possessions packed onto her horse, she trotted from the campsite. After a nod from Borias, Chuang followed.

            The warrior woman camped several miles from camp near a large rock formation. She ate a meal of dried rations and sent her follower ahead to scout. After warming herself by her fire, she returned to her horse. She mounted with some difficulty, relaxing visibly when she was seated.

            “Where’s she going?” Xero asked, perplexed.

            Janice shook her head. “Nowhere. She sleeps on horseback out in the open like this. She’d be too slow to defend herself were she caught on the ground.”

            Xero sat down by the fire that didn’t warm her and looked thoughtfully up at the soul that was supposed to have been hers. “Does this sort of shit happen to Rielle?” she asked.

            “What do you mean?” Mel asked, taking the seat next to her.

            “Has she gone on the tour of Gabrielle’s childhood? Stuff like that?”

            Janice shrugged taking a seat next to Mel. “If she has, someone else must be leading the way.”

            “Lucky her,” the hacker quipped.

            “I’ll have you know I was quite popular in my day. Did my fair share of speaking engagements. Besides, since when do you care what Rielle is dreaming about?” Janice teased gently. Apprehensive that she might be pushing the hacker too fast, she was reassured by the slight approving smile that creased Mel’s lips.

            Xero rolled her eyes. “Don’t read anything into it, Covington. I just wondered. That’s all.”

            “Then why are you so anxious to wake up?” This time it was Mel who teased, leaning into the hacker in an affectionate manner.

            Xero bristled. “Because I’m not going to let some bitch from Archive think she can kidnap someone from under my nose, that’s why.”

            “Be honest, Xero,” Janice suggested. “If it isn’t about Rielle, then it’s about someone who thinks she’s better for Rielle than you are.”

            “That’s not true!” Xero insisted. “I know I’m no good for Rielle, so drop it.”

 

            Xero said nothing more all night. While she knew time was passing at a different rate in her dream, she was still desperate for a way to wake up. Finding no solution at hand, she tried to distract herself by listening to the casual conversation exchanged by Mel and Janice. So strange, she thought, to hear two people talk to each other with such affection and mutual respect. From time to time her eyes were drawn away from the lovers to the warrior woman, bundled in furs gazing at the firelight. After all she’d seen, when Xero seriously tried to picture herself as Xena, no matter how she looked at it, she didn’t measure up to the twisted hateful woman on the horse.

            “Argo would have loved this,” Janice said to Mel, drawing Xero from her study of Xena. “The open grasslands.”

            Xero watched as Mel put an affectionate arm around the archeologist. “I miss her too, love,” the Southerner offered gently.

            “It was so long ago, but I still remember that dog…” Janice choked up and turned her head, refusing to cry in front of the hacker.

            “I remember our last morning together,” Mel offered quietly. “You brought me breakfast in bed, with a rose. Said something about me being as beautiful as the day you met me.”

            “I was telling the truth,” Janice confirmed.

            “Janice,” Mel smiled. “I was ninety-two years old.”

            “Yeah, but I was in my eighties, my eyesight was kinda shot.”

            Xero grinned in spite of herself, genuinely happy for the two women who seemed to love each other as passionately in death as they did in life. After a moment’s reprieve however, events swirled around her again and she watched Xena’s life as it unfolded around her, sometimes sparking unwanted memories of her own. The kidnapping of Ming T’ien reminded her of the time she’d locked Ellen in the closet at the orphanage. At ten years old, Xero was a very real threat not only to her peers, but older children as well.

            She wasn’t surprised when Xena was sold-out by C’huang and Borias, and she looked forward to both men paying for it. There was no doubt in her mind that Xena would attend to that betrayal. Unimpressed by Ming T’su, she noticed a new fire in young Ming T’ien’s eyes. Like the tears already dried when Ellen was released, Ming T’ien was a colder child upon his rescue. “How many monsters have I created?” she wondered absently.

            Certain Xena would meet her demise in the woods, she waited uneasily as the hunting dogs gained. She was as surprised as Xena to see Lao Ma’s appearance.

            “Come with me if you wish your freedom,” the enigmatic woman said, catching both Xero and Xena in her gaze.

            “Why are you doing this?” both women asked in unison.

            Her voice was calm and controlled as she answered, but the urgency was clear. “I have been blessed, or cursed, with the ability to see into the souls of others. You don’t know it yet, Xena, but you’re a remarkable woman— capable of greatness. Come quick. We’ll take refuge in my home.

            Something about the word home struck a chord with Xero. She looked at Janice and Mel intently.

            “Please,” she said. “Help me find Rielle.”

 

 

Time cast a spell on you, that you won’t forget me

Stevie Nicks

 

Chapter 6: Rebooting

 

            Waking with a start, Xero’s eyes cast furiously around the room. Something was about to happen. As if on cue, her mobie unit buzzed—a call was incoming. In an instant she was on her feet and across the room. In one fluid motion the device was activated and at her ear.

            “Yes?” she demanded of the unknown caller. “You’ve found her? Good work, Shad. Hold on, lemme grab a pen.”

            Xero grabbed one of the pens from the desk and a scrap of printer paper. Listening carefully, she printed the information as neatly as possible, hoping that when the time came, she’d be able to read her own writing. “Paula James, VP of Marketing for Archive. Okay, home address? Is she likely to be there?” The hacker glanced at her watch; it was late morning which meant she’d be riding a full day in sunlight. Shoving health risks aside, she considered her options. “I’ll leave right away, but even then I won’t get back down until evening. Where is she likely to be? Fencing studio, huh. I suppose that makes sense. You got that address too?”

            Beginning to pace, Xero noticed absently that her legs were barely sore—the hot spring had done wonders. “Shad, this is gonna sound kinda nuts, but I need you to do call the regulars for me. We’ll meet at the ‘horn later.” She paused a moment listening carefully. “I don’t care what Blue says. It’s none of her fucking business. I need to have a talk with Paula, find out where Rielle is and go get her. Think you can work up some sort of credentials for me in the meantime? It might have to be all purpose, ‘cause I don’t know what’s happened to her. When I get her, I’ll meet you guys at the ‘Horn. Great, thanks, Shadow.”

            “You know, you’ll alienate all your hacker friends if you start with phrases like ‘thank you’,” Henry said with an amused grin from the base of the stairs.

            “You’re lucky I don’t kick your ass for that stunt you pulled last night,” she warned over her shoulder.

            “No doubt,” he allowed, his good humor unaffected. “Still, I’d suspect your legs are feeling a bit better. It’s sunny and cold out there. Last night it was dark and colder. You wouldn’t have gone very far your legs feeling the way they did. C’mon, I’ve made some breakfast. The least you can do is eat some before going.”

            The rumbling of her stomach answered for her and she followed the healer up the stairs. “So I take it you believe this past life/soul crap?” she asked as she sat down behind a plate of steaming food.

            Henry shrugged. “I believe just about anything, try to hedge my bets that way. If it pisses off the Fundies, I’m all for it.”

            Xero nodded, having to agree with him there. Glancing around the dining area, she realized just how little of the place she’d really seen. “You’ve got a nice thing going up here, Henry. Argo seems to like it.”

            The healer turned around and looked at the iguana sunning himself lazily near the window on the kitchen counter. He looked back at the hacker nervously. “I’d like to keep him if you don’t mind. I never knew Renée had a thing for reptiles.”

            Xero smirked. There were a lot of things his ex-wife enjoyed that he didn’t know about. No sense hurting him with it though. “Yeah, I’m sure Ba-- Renée would have wanted you to keep him. Every time he bites you, you can think of her. If he gets too spazzy just rub his belly and he’ll fall right asleep.”

            Henry grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Picking up a few items from the counter, he handed them to Xero. “Don’t forget her hat,” he added, passing over the worn Mickey Mouse baseball cap she’d worn since her associate’s death. “And this Renée’s, too. You might need it for the drive down; it’s going to be cold.”

            Xero looked at the now familiar black and green checked flannel shirt as if she’d seen a ghost. The warm flannel felt familiar in her hands. With an absent nod, she accepted the gift.

            Healer and hacker ate in silence. A truce had settled between them and neither wanted to spoil it by risking words. The food was good, Xero mumbled as much, and Henry muttered something about his mother’s recipe. Nothing else was said until each look up from an empty plate. Brushing her hair from her face with her fingers Xero broke the silence. “I’d better get going.”

            Henry nodded in agreement. “Rielle moved your bike into the garage and I took the liberty of charging the batteries. Your tools and stuff are already on it.” He walked her to the bike as she donned the flannel shirt, jacket and heavy boots. Before she could grab the helmet, he stopped her. “Good luck to you, Xero. I hope this all works out.”

            She nodded. “Ares will be stopped, one way or another.”

            He shook his head with a smile. “It’s not just Ares I’m talking about. Rielle is a good person. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really care what happens to you. But she seems to think that you’ll make her happy. If that just so happens to work out for you too...I mean if Rielle’s happy and you end up being happy too, well, I don’t really mind that.”

            Xero smiled. “Nice thought Henry, but I can’t say I follow you. This is about fighting a virus, not about finding a soul mate. You’re a hopeless romantic and someday it’ll do you in.”

            “You’re fighting more than a virus,” he called loudly as she rolled her bike away. “You’re fighting for peace and your own peace of mind.”

            Still smiling, the hacker thought about his words as she headed for the highway. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity,” she thought, gunning the motorcycle’s engine and heading for home.

            Xero didn’t watch the spectacular vista unwind as she sped down the twisty highway. Her attention was so solely focused on getting Rielle back that she was scarcely aware of how much her eyes burned, even shielded as they were by the tinted visor of the helmet and her own sunglasses. Henry hadn’t been kidding about the cold. A T-shirt and flannel shirt weren’t much protection from the wind chill, even under the heavy jacket. Finally, she pulled over to withdraw a pair of riding gloves from a saddlebag. Deciding she might as well stretch her legs and take a pee, she headed to the Andy Gump to the side of the vista.

            Pausing for a few moments when she emerged to clear her lungs, she idly considered what Henry had said. She knew it was a joke, if not all of it then certainly most of it.

            “But what if I am Xena,” she considered. “Rielle said that Xena would be critical to solving this whole mess. How? All I’ve seen so far is a woman who learned how to kill by fifteen and is raving mad running around China at the moment. How is that going to get Ares or whatever it is off the nets?”

            Pushing questions for which she had no answers aside, she donned her helmet once again and walked to her bike. With little else to do to occupy her mind as she drove, she returned to the puzzle, looking at it from another angle.

            “What about Rielle? Is she a deluded lunatic? If she is, then why am I driving like a bat outta hell to get her out of what ever joint Paula has her locked up in? Come on, Xero—this is a bit more work than you’re used to, just to get someone in the sack. Maybe it’s Paula,” she allowed as she slowed down for a tight turn. “I saw that look she shot me when I ended up at Rielle’s house. She thinks she’s got it all. The legitimate job, Olympic medals…Rielle. Hell she probably think Rielle’s wandering heart is a symptom of mental illness, especially when it’s directed at me.” Her eyebrows came together in a sharp frown. “Well, is it?” she asked herself.

            Like a movie, scenes from the hacker’s life shifted before her. The isolation of one orphanage after the next, the fights to establish herself in the pecking order, and the outbursts of downright cruelty. Those were the things that set her apart. When the teachers began to show signs of fear, she knew it was time to move on.

            With a grin, she remembered her entrance into the hacking community at large. She was not just good—she was the best. Now everyone was after her, but not to beat her down because she was new, but to lift her up because she was good. They all wanted something—insight into her technique, a shot at making a big arrest, a job done or a free meal. It was painful at first realizing that people who offered anything in exchange for something left as soon as that something was given. A badly bruised heart finally broken had turned Xero into the sexual predator who took but seldom gave.

            “Rielle really should be locked up if that’s what she wants,” she decided. It was no use wondering how things might have been had she grown up differently. Those thoughts ended in tears that had dried by the time she was ten.

            Lacking anything better to ponder, Xero started to fantasize about the syscop in bed. She still had several hours back to town and if she played her cards right, drawing every element of the seduction out just so, she’d finish up as she hit the San Fernando Valley. With an easy smile, she tried to remember if Rielle wore a wristwatch and earrings.

 

            Bringing the bike to a smooth halt in front of the fencing studio, Xero had a look around before entering. The place was empty save for a lone receptionist at the desk. Shadow had warned her that the place would be mostly vacant, not up for business as usual after a recent remodeling. With an air of professionalism, she strode through the double doors and confronted the receptionist, cowing her easily.

            “I’m here to sign off on construction,” Xero announced, reading from the folded piece of printer paper she’d scribbled the directions on. “What the hell are you doing here? The studio is supposed to be vacant.”

            “The building got signed off two days ago,” the woman protested. “We’re gearing up our classes starting next week.”

            “Don’t tell me you didn’t get the e-mail? A slew of jobs handled by the person who checked you out came up with errors. I’ve got to redo them myself.” Xero looked bored and annoyed, then regarded the small woman behind the desk as if she were an insect. A potentially tasty insect, but an insect none the less.

            “We, ah, haven’t been logging on because of the scare. People dying from the nets,” she answered meekly.

            “And that’s supposed to be my problem?” Xero laughed. “Just get out of here, kid. Let me do my job.” Without further protest, the young woman got up and grabbed her purse. “You still got the inspection sign from last time?” the hacker asked before she moved away from her desk. With a quick nod, the woman fished it out under a small pile of application print outs. “Stick it on the door on your way out,” she instructed, then turned her back on the woman, beginning her ‘inspection’ in earnest.

            She waited several more minutes, familiarizing herself with the building before returning to the front door and removing the sign from the window. Returning to the main work out room, she picked up a couple of sabers from their mounts on the wall. Some more exploration uncovered a special file for removing nicks from the metal blade. Picking up the file and a polishing cloth Xero sat down on a bench and began to sharpen her sword. The movement was as smooth and fluid as if she’d been doing it forever.

            In actuality, Xero and never held a sword before in her life. She wasn’t shocked by her awareness—compared to her dreams, this sort of crinkle in reality was easy to take. Instead she thought about the woman who would be walking through the door at any moment. Rielle’s wife. Xero calmly sharpened the sword as she waited for the chance to prove once and for all that she was every bit as capable as the one time world fencing champion.

 

            Paula James came to an abrupt halt in front of the fencing studio in her indigo black Ford Enterprise. Puzzled by the intimidating Russian motorcycle parked out front, she climbed out of the cab of her vehicle with caution. The front door to the studio was unlocked, so she pushed it open. The office lights were on and the computer up and running while the rest of the building was dark. Frowning, Paula called out the receptionist’s name several times before heading into the main body of the studio. She grew irritated; it wasn’t the first time Patsy had left for no apparent reason. She mumbled something negative about blondes and flipped on the main light switch.

            Blinking in surprise, she was coldly regarded by a woman seated on a stretching bench. “I hope you don’t talk like that in front of your wife,” the hacker drawled.

            Paula crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest. “You’re the one Rielle’s been playing around with. Xero, wasn’t it?”

            The woman nodded. “Maybe if you didn’t keep her locked up, she’d see you as a more suitable playmate?”

            “I don’t have to stand here and take this crap from you,” Paula growled as she turned for the door.

            “Well, I’m afraid you do,” Xero commented pleasantly as Paula shook the locked door. “I programmed the door to lock five seconds after you opened it. So, unless you brought really good ear plugs with you, you’re gonna have to listen to what I’ve got to say.”

            “I’ll bet you think you’re real cute, don’t you?” Paula shot back acidly. “Notorious hacker seduces syscop. You’re probably so keen on playing into her little deluded fantasies. You must have an open field with the best syscop in the business off your back now.”

            Xero rolled her eyes. She was really hoping Paula didn’t genuinely love Rielle. It would have made her life a lot easier. But the pride in the other woman’s voice told another story. Paula was proud of her spouse, and quite broken up over what had happened, though fighting to hide it well.

            “Paula, I’m going to spell things out for you. I’ll spare you the sob story because you won’t buy it and I don’t have that kind of time. If you haven’t noticed, the nets aren’t safe at the moment, not for hackers or anyone else. People have a good shot at unsubbing every time they log on. Rielle contacted me because she believes that between the two of us we can fix what is wrong and make the Network safe again. If she wants to solve the problem by calling me Xena and herself Gabrielle, what’s the big deal?”

            Paula marched over to Xero, her eyes burning with hatred. “Because Rielle is in love with Xena, this ideal fantasy woman she made up. Have you ever tried to compete with a fictitious character?” she demanded.

            Inwardly Xero grimaced. “Fuck, woman! I am a fictitious character,” she inwardly groaned. Such was the price of not remembering one’s real name and building an identity from scratch. “Trust me, Paula, Xena is anything but ideal.”

            “I saw the way Rielle looked at you. Reality aside, you’re Xena for her. And for you to play on that, just for...for whatever it is you’re getting from her is sick.”

            “Issues of mental health aside,” Xero continued, an odd sense of calm washing over her as she began to get angry. “Rielle is locked up and you’re going to help me get her out.”

            “Like hell I will,” Paula snapped back.

            With a slow smile Xero turned her back and walked toward the stretching bench. Picking up two sabers, she tossed one to Paula. “I’ve got a feeling you’ll change your mind.”

            Paula caught the saber easily, looked at it, looked back at Xero, and laughed. “Oh, this is rich. How chivalrous of you. We’re supposed to sword fight for the hand of the fair Rielle. You’ve gotta be kidding.”

            Without warning the hacker lunged, sword heading straight for Paula’s middle. With a shocked expression, she parried the blow without an instant to spare. “Feel like I’m kidding to you?” Xero asked lightly.

            “You’re insane!” the former world champion shrieked as she backed up.

            “Sane or not, you’re going to help me,” the hacker said tightly, goading the other woman into attacking.

            “I will not play into this,” Paula affirmed as she blocked each blow. “You’re deluded.” She missed one parry and Xero’s blade easily sliced a shallow cut across her left shoulder. Looking at the blood seeping through the thin fabric, her eyes narrowed. “That does it, bitch. You’re gonna die.”

            The sword fight easily lasted ten minutes. A few minutes into it, both women carefully controlled their breathing even as beads of sweat dotted their brows. Paula fought with trained precision. Her moves were economical, classical, and well studied maneuvers. Xero’s style was less graceful. She hit with power and force but often expended more energy than needed per blow. Like a rusty engine started after years of neglect, she fought to remember what she’d seen Xena do and then mimiced those moves. There was a lag in her timing that began to lessen just as Paula began to take advantage of it.

            “Come on, Xena,” she taunted. “No backflips? No running up the walls? Where’s the aerodynamic impossibilities you’re so famous for?”

            Xero parried and lunged as she considered the other woman’s words. “Did Xena do backflips?” she thought to herself as she remembered all she’d seen Xena do. She didn’t recall any. Xena fought brilliantly from horseback and on foot, but aerodynamic stunts didn’t come to mind. The search through her recollections brought something else to mind though. At Paula’s next strike, Xero caught the blade between her thumb and forefinger and pulled it from Paula’s grasp. Dropping her own sword, she quickly hit two pressure points on the other woman’s neck, dropping her to her knees.

            As Paula knelt there, gasping for air, Xero realized she’d not been quite quick enough with her catch. She’d been cut rather deeply between her thumb and forefinger and on the palm of her hand. Looking around for something to stop the bleeding, she glanced at Paula who now had a few drops of blood coming from her nose. “Give up yet?” she asked as an afterthought.

            Paula nodded, but Xero didn’t notice, busy retrieving a towel to bind her hand. She returned to the suffocating woman s she ripped the white material into strips. Paula tugged at Xero’s jeans to get her attention and nodded vigorously.

            Like a jolt, Xero remembered that Paula was dying and quickly jabbed a couple of pressure points on the woman’s neck. Nothing happened.

            Paula’s struggle became more frantic and Xero got annoyed. “I’m rusty at this,” she explained. “Stop squirming or I’ll just leave you.” Paula instantly froze. Xero feared she might be too late but took careful aim anyway. With two precisely placed jabs, Paula fell over gasping, her fingers still clenched around Xero’s jeans. Xero didn’t bother shaking her off, but focused on tying the strip of cloth around her own hand to stop the bleeding.

            “You’re a fucking psychotic,” Paula finally gasped when she’d gotten enough air in her lungs.

            “Whatever,” the hacker agreed with a shrug as she pulled the woman to her feet. “You help me get Rielle back and you’ll live. The deal is as simple as that.”

            There wasn’t much fight left in Paula as Xero dragged the Marketing V.P. outside. She snorted to herself at the sight of the outlandishly huge Ford. “Figures,” she muttered as she shoved the other woman over to the bike.

            “Why don’t we take my car?” Paula asked as Xero pulled two pairs of handcuffs from the back inside pocket of her leather jacket.

            “Because I don’t trust you,” she answered simply. “I’m going to wager that being handcuffed to a motorcycle without a helmet and me driving will encourage you to cooperate, tell me how to get to Rielle, and not try and tip the thing over.”

            “But look at the bright side,” she added as she maneuvered Paula to the back of the seat and locked the first of cuffs. “You’re the first woman I’ve let wear these that I wasn’t fucking at the time.” She winked at Paula who paled visibly, then jumped on, starting the engine in one fluid motion.

            The hacker’s guess was correct and without further struggle, Paula told her where Rielle had been committed. It was all the way across town on the West Side, but her passenger stayed quiet and very still the entire way.

 

            Xero mentally kicked herself for not noting the name of the facility when she walked inside. Preoccupied with grabbing an unattended medical jacket from a gurney, she’d been distracted. Having handcuffed Paula’s arms behind her back, she walked like she had every reason to be there. Reaching the information desk, she masked her amazement when the receptionist smiled in greeting. “Dr. Bailey, we’ve been expecting you.” The receptionist looked over a chart and handed it to Xero. She saw a scanned photo of herself printed on the chart. “We got word you’d be arriving to pick up a patient…”

            Xero smiled back, reminding herself that she owed Shadow big time. “Yes, that’s right. And I’m dropping one off. This is Paula James. Attacked me with…” She glanced at her bandaged hand. “Something sharp. I think a seventy-two hour hold should do it.”

            “Now wait just a minute, Xero,” Paula protested. Xero turned and fixed her in a steely cold gaze. “You’ll never be me,” she quietly protested as two orderlies took her away. “You’ll never take my place.”

            “What was that about?” the receptionist inquired politely.

            “Completely delusional.” Xero replied, stamping her thumb print on the file and handing it back. The receptionist scanned the print and waited a few moments for clearance. “I take it you’re not having trouble with your systems?” the hacker asked politely as she watched the receptionist work.

            “Oh no,” the pretty brunette replied. “We haven’t had any problems so far. We’re keeping our fingers crossed.” With a smile, she signed approval on the form and called for a nurse. “Robert will take you to Ms. MacGab’s room. She’s all yours now.”

            Xero quietly followed the nurse along a long corridor of rooms. Pausing outside of one, he fished into his pocket for the correct electronic key. Xero took the opportunity to glance inside the one way glass panel in the center of the door. She couldn’t help but grin.

            Rielle was lying on her back on the floor, her legs propped up on her cot, doing sit ups. She signaled the nurse to wait as she watched Rielle finish her set. Counting in sets of ten, the syscop stopped at three hundred. With a nod, Xero signaled the nurse and the door was open. By the time the opening door cleared her field of view, Rielle was on her feet and ready to attack someone. Her anger quickly faded when she saw Xero’s face.

            “Good evening Ms. MacGab,” the hacker said simply. “I’m Dr. Bailey and you’ve been released into my custody. Is that alright with you?”

            Trying to sound casual, the syscop nodded. “Quite acceptable, Dr. Bailey,” she replied. She managed to keep her composure until they rounded the corner of the building and made it to the motorcycle. “Thank you,” Rielle said, surprising Xero with a fierce hug, “I didn’t think you’d make it down here this fast.”

            “Think nothing of it,” Xero replied with a grin. “Gave me an opportunity to get acquainted with your wife.”

            Rielle’s mood instantly cooled and she shivered slightly. Xero, mistaking the shiver for a chill, handed the syscop her leather jacket and the helmet she wouldn’t let Paula wear. “I don’t want to hear about Paula right now if that’s okay with you,” Rielle said quietly.

            “Sure,” Xero agreed, settling onto the bike in front of the syscop. “I’m just explaining how I found you.”

 

            The two rode in silence until they reached the Saddlehorn Pub & Grill. The place was hopping with activity, and both syscop and hacker were shocked by the number of men milling about. “What’s going on?” Xero asked Ska at the door.

            The waitress ushered them inside, talking quietly. “Leave the bike, we’ll have someone else move it. You need to stay out of sight until we close. Shadow has contacted the regulars and we can meet after closing.”

            “Why not just close the place now?” Xero asked, baffled.

            “Because things aren’t business as usual at the moment. We can’t risk logging on to fuck up the files of all the riff-raff. Therefore, the riff-raff doesn’t know when to leave. Delirium’s screaming it’s like running a legitimate club for the night.”

            Xero shuddered at the thought. “God forbid.”

            “You think serving drinks to bobs is easy, I’ll will you my tray,” she shot back. “We’re getting a few syscops who are trying to match faces to rap sheets, so you’d better stay out of sight, Xero, but your friend can mill around. No offense, Rielle,” Ska added quickly. “I’m sure you’re a capable hacker, but I’ve never heard of you and--”

            Rielle smiled. “None taken,” she assured the waitress. “I don’t expect the perks and drawbacks of ‘big time’ until I get there.”

            Xero coughed. “That’s fine. I’m kinda tired and it’s been a long day. I’ll crash in the back room, just wake me when the club closes.”

            Ska nodded and pressed a cold beer into the hacker’s hand as she keyed open the lock to the private back room door.

            Xero didn’t hand the beer back, but stood quietly, asking Rielle a silent question. She could hang with the rest of the crowd until closing or join her in the private room. Rielle paused for a moment then turned her attention back to the waitress. She didn’t want to risk being spotted by the other syscops, true, but there were other factors as well. “I’m kinda tired myself. I’ll stay here with, Xero.”

            Ska nodded. “Fine. Beer’s on the house, Xero. I for one am glad you’re back. I seem so much nicer in comparison. Careful, that the room is a little chilly. Don’t want you getting frostbite.”

            “We’ll be fine,” Xero said after a sip of beer. “Just let us know when everyone is here.” With that, Xero stepped aside for Rielle to enter, the followed her into the back room, the door closing with a hiss behind them.

            Rielle looked around the dimly lit room and shivered slightly. “Your friend was right. It’s kinda cold in here.” She turned around to see the hacker looking at her with an annoyed expression on her face. “Oops, sorry”, she amended. “The waitress was right. Is that better?” Xero nodded and began her own exploration of the room. “What is it with you, Xero?” Rielle asked, shoving her hands deeper into the pockets of the hacker’s jacket. “Is it a friend phobia or something?”

            Xero shrugged, feeling too tired to verbally spar with the syscop. “Or something,” she agreed. “Why don’t you take the couch,” she suggested, “I’ll take the floor.”

            Rielle’s attention snapped over to the long couch to the side of the room. Obviously the most comfortable place to sleep, there wasn’t really any other suitable place in the room. Several hard chairs surrounded a small table and a work desk, but that was it for furnishings. “You can have the couch,” Rielle offered. Xero shot her a look of barely controlled rage. It was clear the hacker was tired and cranky. “Or we could share it,” she added softly. Noting the hacker’s bandaged hand as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, Rielle rushed over, worried.

            “What happened to you?” the syscop demanded, examining the bandaged hand.

            “It’s nothing. I didn’t catch a sword quite right, that’s all,” Xero said, barely tolerating Rielle’s gentle probing.

            “You caught a sword?” she asked, dumbfounded.

            Xero looked at her. Blue eyes vibrant, they also betrayed just how tired the hacker really was. “I got in a sword fight with Paula when she wouldn’t tell me where you were. I caught the blade of her saber, sort of, and did that neck thingie. Then she told me.” As an afterthought she quickly added, “There isn’t anything wrong with my blood, it’s clean.”

            Rielle shook off the hacker’s warning, “I’m not worried about that, Xero, I’m just surprised you managed to beat Paula in a sword fight. You never told me you knew how to fence,” she added carefully.

            “I don’t,” Xero admitted. “I’ve been watching Xena in the dreams and stuff. Hackers have quick memories so I just mimicked her.”

            It was a struggle for Rielle to keep the look of elation off her face. Fighting to keep her voice non-committal, she acknowledged the statement and returned her attention to the couch once more. “You look kinda tired. Why don’t we get some sleep,” she offered, forgetting to let go of the hacker’s hand.

             “Top or bottom?” Xero asked her eyes still locked with the syscops’s.

            “That’s a bit personal,” Rielle replied with a cold glare, pointedly removing her hand from the hacker’s.

            Xero rolled her eyes, wondering if she’d ever get to sleep. “No, I mean do you want me to sleep on top of you or do you want to sleep on top of me? The couch isn’t wide enough to sleep side by side.”

            “Oh. I thought we’d each take one end,” Rielle answered, blushing slightly. “Legs crossing in the middle.”

            “Fine,” Xero agreed. “But my feet have been in biker boots all day, I was trying to spare you that…experience.”

            “I see,” Rielle replied quietly. “In that case, since we’re only talking about sleeping arrangements mind you, you can sleep on top. I suspect I’m colder than you are anyway.”

            “Of course,” Xero agreed with a wry grin. “I’d never imply you’d be anything but a top in any other context.”

            Rielle was annoyed that the hacker’s tone told her the larger woman didn’t believe a word of what she’d just said. She got a brief moment of revenge however when Xero took off her boots. “Fine,” she said with a groan. “But could you leave those boots on the other side of the room.”

            Xero complied with a frown, then stood waiting for Rielle to get comfortable. Still wearing the heavy leather jacket over her silk blouse, the syscop stretched out on her back, her head propped up on the pillowed arm of the couch. Xero took off her flannel shirt and joined her. Lying down on her right side, she only had to bend her long legs slightly to fit. Using Rielle’s abdomen as a pillow, she twisted her shoulders slightly getting comfortable. One arm reached under Rielle’s thigh, the other reached over resting on the smaller woman’s hip. To Rielle’s immediate distraction, Xero’s shoulder was resting firmly between her legs. Xero settled the flannel shirt over her exposed shoulder and shifted once or twice to get comfortable.

            When the hacker seemed settled, Rielle let one hand rest on the hacker’s hand at her hip, her other hand making its way to the top of Xero’s head, gently touching her hair. “So your dreams,” she said quietly. “You’re still having them?”

            “Oh yeah,” Xero replied sleepily. “Believe it or don’t, Janice Covington is even more annoying than you are.”

            “That’s good to hear,” Rielle remarked.

            “Rielle,” Xero said softly, capturing the syscop’s attention as her warm breath spilled out over sensitive skin. “Allowing for even a second that I am Xena, have you considered that whatever insight I’ve been given from these dreams won’t be enough to battle Ares? I’m guessing what you need is the reformed Xena who traveled the countryside with Gabrielle. That isn’t the Xena I see, and it’s not a Xena I could relate to.”

            Rielle considered Xero’s words seriously. “Wherever you are, Xero,” she whispered back. “It’ll be enough. It has to be.” Neither woman spoke again although it was long moments before either drifted off to sleep.

 

            “Annoying?! Janice Covington barked loudly, splashing Xero in the face with hot water, “I’ll show you annoying.”

            The hacker sputtered to consciousness gulping down mouthfuls of water in the process. She was seated in a rectangular hot tub, naked, the archeologist leaning over splashing her playfully.

            “What the fuck is going on?” Xero sputtered. After a moment of taking in her surroundings, she realized that she wasn’t alone in the tub. “What’s Xena doing under the water?” she asked.

            “Just watch,” Janice instructed. Lao Ma sat on the edge of the tub across from her, brushing her long ebony hair. Ming T’zu burst into the bathing room, making a number of accusations the Chinese woman calmly refuted. Xero watched the barbed exchanges between the two, keeping a wary eye on the warrior beneath the surface of the water, struggling to hold her breath. When Lao Ma ducked her head beneath the water and passed desperately needed air to her fugitive, the hacker smiled approvingly.

            “Well, that explains a lot,” Xero remarked to Janice after Ming T’zu left.

            “What explains what?” Janice asked, her appreciative gaze dancing between Xero and Xena.

            “Lao Ma’s history as a consort. This whole ‘eliminate desire’ philosophy. The woman’s obviously been burned by in the past and she figures on reaching nirvana by banishing those impulses. At the same time, she’s drawn to Xena in a desirey kind of way, but figures this hair washing routine is the way to get a sensual fix and not fall off the anti-desire wagon.”

            Janice listened to the hacker’s assessment as Lao Ma tended to Xena’s bath. After adding a variety of pleasant smelling oils and salts to the water, the former consort carefully washed the warrior’s long tangled unkempt mane. Xena, still skittish, obviously enjoyed the attention, but kept a tight lid on how much she showed it.

            “Interesting theory,” Janice allowed, surprised by the hacker’s insight.

            “I’ll bet she can hear me.” Xero whispered.

            “Lao Ma?” Janice asked, “You’ve wondered about that before. I don’t see how that can be,” she added. “What we’re seeing here has happened before. You can’t change anything.”

            “Maybe not,” the hacker admitted. “But you said yourself that Lao Ma had unusual abilities. What if I was here the first time? What if Lao Ma hears me as her own conscience or as Xena’s inner thoughts?” Not waiting for the archeologist’s response the hacker easily slipped from the water and moved to stand just behind and to the side of the Chinese woman. Her tone was sensual, seductive, and Janice felt the room heat up with tension.

            “Fill yourself with desire and see only illusion. Empty yourself of desire and understand the great mystery of things,” Xero said, leaning in by the Chinese woman’s ear. Lao Ma’s hand trembled slightly as she slowly poured water over Xena’s hair. “How can you banish desire unless you’ve known desire, known passion, truly been at the mercy of the raging flood?  This woman is desire,” Xero purred. “She’s the embodiment of unrestrained passion. You have to learn the din of desire from her if she’s going to learn the quiet of emptiness from you.”

            “What the hell are you doing?” Mel demanded, rushing into the room straight to the hacker’s side.

            “Take it easy, Mel,” Janice soothed from across the tub.

            “Janice,” Mel urged. “We don’t know what she’s going to do. We know how things are supposed to happen, but Xero isn’t supposed to be a participant. Lao Ma should not be acting from her prompting.”

            “I think we should let her be,” Janice maintained. “So far her instincts have been good. Her heart’s in the right place, no matter how much she denies she has one. If this is what it takes to get this train wreck under way, then so be it. Like Xero said, maybe she was here the first time.”

            “Whaddya mean, ‘train wreck’?” Xero asked, looking over at Janice quizzically.

            Inwardly kicking herself Janice smiled, as disarmingly as she could. “Nothing, forget I said it. Come on, let Xena get dressed and lets go.”

            The trio of women stepped onto a courtyard to watch Lao Ma and Xena engaged in a conversation over an ornate vase. Xena shattered it with a heavy foot causing Lao Ma to inquire, “Would you kill a mosquito with an axe?”

            Stepping behind the warrior, the former consort drew a carved wooden hair pin from her tightly wound bun. After commenting on its beauty, she threw it at the table where it struck with a solid thud. Xena’s eyes widened in appreciation. “That’s good,” she said.

            Lao Ma remained calm. “It could be a very usable weapon-- if thrown at the right body part.”

            Xena agreed. “You could kill someone, using a hair brooch.”

            Lao Ma regarded her charge calmly. “If necessary. I don’t like to kill, however.”

            Xena smirked. “Everyone has their preferences. I happen to like a good kill.”

            Xero rolled her eyes. “Obviously she hasn’t learned the ins and outs of impressing women at this point,” she commented dryly.

            Mel, leaning against the wall with a remaining vase, crossed her arms. “And you’re saying this is all a seduction?”

            The hacker nodded. “From Xena’s point of view, it is. I think we’re all agreed she’s basically an animal at this point. An animal who has completely captivated the illustrious Lao Ma. If Xena can’t kill it, eat it, or sell it, then fucking it is bound to come to mind.” Xero looked at Lao Ma appreciatively. “Can’t say my thoughts wouldn’t run the same way if I were in Xena’s place.”

            “Xero, you were in Xena’s place,” Janice reminded her dryly.

            Lao Ma paused as if deciding something and looked at Xena sadly. “You’re so full of anger and hate.”

            The warrior shrugged. “Everyone’s gotta be full of something.”

            After putting another bottle on the table, Lao Ma startled Xena and Xero by shattering it without physical contact. Xena tried to shatter the last bottle the same way but to no avail. After a few silent moments, Lao Ma began to laugh, drawing enraged glares from hacker and warrior. “I’m sorry, Xena, but you’re trying to attack the bottle with your will.”

            “What else is there?” the two asked together.

            Lao Ma grinned, seemingly at both. “Exactly. The entire world is driven by a will-- blind and ruthless. In order to transcend the limitations of that world, you need to stop willing—stop desiring— stop hating.” Xena asked how such a thing could happen and the Chinese woman’s expression softened. “Heaven endures—and the Earth lasts a long time, because they do not live for themselves. Therefore, she who would live a long time—should live for others, serve others.”

            “Careful what you ask for, Lao Ma,” Xero warned, her lips near the other woman’s ear. “You might just get it. Do you really know from which you speak? Are you ready to teach Xena this lesson. How can you show her a soul emptied of desire, if she has not seen your soul consumed with it? Look at her,” the hacker gently commanded. “Is that not a look of love?”

            “I could serve you, if that’s what you mean,” Xena softly replied as Mel shot Janice a worried glance.

            Xero smiled in satisfaction when the comment caught the Chinese woman slightly off guard. The smile faded to a frown when Lao Ma outlined exactly what she intended Xena to do—to serve Ming T’zu the next day when he arrived.

            “You ask a high price, Lao Ma,” Xero murmured. “But Xena will pay it. Will the same be said of you when it is time for you to learn your lessons?” Xero’s voice was cold and Janice noted a protective edge to it.

            Mel watched the exchange with growing apprehension. “I don’t like this, Janice,” she whispered to her companion. “I don’t like this one bit.”

            Janice nodded, made uncomfortable by the exchange as well. “But we know these events happened, nothing is changing.”

            The Southerner shuddered. “Nothing is changing here, but what about her?” she asked looking pointedly at the woman standing between Lao Ma and Xena. “Janice, I think she’s getting worse.”

            The archeologist snorted. “Xero, worse? Impossible.”

 

            Xero endured the meal in silence. She appreciated Xena’s struggle not to kill Ming T’zu but said nothing when she overcame that desire. When the meal was finished she followed as Xena was led upstairs to see Lao T’zu, the comatose ruler of the kingdom of Lao. Xena listened to Lao Ma’s words with interest, standing close to the former consort. The hacker smiled when it seemed clear that the enigmatic woman was aware and unsettled by the warrior’s proximity.

            “Feel the heat,” she whispered into Lao Ma’s ear. “Blue eyes are burning a path across your skin. Unusual in your land, aren’t they? Blue eyes? You could fall in them forever, losing yourself, emptying your soul.”

            “This wisdom comes from Heaven,” Lao Ma said quietly, answering Xena’s question, a slight flush coloring her cheeks. “What difference does it make who gets credit for it—Lao Ma or Lao T’zu?”

            Xena nodded in understanding. “Yeah, nothing seems to phase you-- except that boy I kidnapped. Every time he ignores you, that cuts deep.”

            Lao Ma sighed sadly, “I know, it’s foolish of me. Just because we give birth to them doesn’t mean we own them.”

            “He’s your son?” Xena and Xero asked, both women equally stunned.

            Lao Ma gazed into Xena’s eyes for a moment, coming to a decision. With a small private smile, she took Xena’s hand and guided her to another chamber in the palace. Before entering, she took down her hair, brushing it out with long smooth strokes. She did the same for Xena and gave her a lighter kimono to wear. Once her own clothes were changed, she led Xena into the chamber.

            Without saying a word, the former consort nodded toward a mat in the center of the room. Xena lay down as Lao Ma took a kneeling position next to her. Closing her eyes and focusing her energy, Lao Ma slowly moved her hands back and forth over Xena’s legs, sending the healing energy to the damaged limbs.

            Xero could almost feel the electricity course through her body. For long minutes, she simply experienced the comforting warmth with Xena. Xero looked around the room once but didn’t see any sign of her two guides. Focusing on Xena and Lao Ma once again, she added her own will to the mix of energy. Xena smiled, a soft sound escaping her throat as Lao Ma’s hands nearly faltered.

            “How can you show Xena The Way when you don’t know where she’s supposed to go?” Xero asked softly, her voice barely a whisper. “Can you damp a fire burning out of control without getting singed? Do you really know what it is to be a raging flood?” Xero’s voice wasn’t taunting—it was soft, gentle, lilting, like the song of a deadly siren. Lao Ma’s hands slowed in their movements as Xena’s head rolled from side to side in rapture.

            “You started this fire,” the hacker continued. “Will you put it out with the water of your mouth?”

            Flushed and unsettled, Lao Ma backed away from Xena’s body standing in one fluid motion. She walked to the other side of the room, looking at her unconscious charge with a mixture of affection and fear. What she didn’t realize was that she walked right over to Xero who gazed at her with the eyes of a snake contemplating a mouse.

            “She’s damaged,” the hacker urged, her voice husky and deep. “You can heal her soul just like  you’ve healed her legs. Her language is desire and passion. To teach her yours, you have to understand hers. You’ve been looking for a way to reach her, to touch her deeply. This is it.”

            Lao Ma smiled, a giving, radiant smile as if a troublesome puzzle had just been solved. “Come to me, Xena,” she said clearly, waking the woman lying on the mat.

            Xena opened her eyes, confusion quickly shifting to elation as she touched her healed legs. With a joyous shout she dashed towards the wall, ran up it a good distance, than back flipped to her feet once again.

            “I’ll be damned,” Xero muttered. “She does do back flips.”

            With a smile that could light up the pitch dark night, Xena ran into Lao Ma’s arms. Arms that were open and welcoming. Desperate for some way to say thank you, she turned  the one language she could speak  proficiently—her body. After the shortest instant of being held, Xena lowered first her eyes then her lips to Lao Ma’s waiting mouth. With a gentleness that shocked the Chinese woman, Xena kissed her, conveying a thousand words of gratitude in that one simple act.

            If Xena intended it to end with that one kiss was impossible to tell. For this time, more than air was exchanged between the two as raging flood and tranquil pond melded into the common element of water. Both women were smiling when the kiss broke and Lao Ma affectionately brushed a loose strand of hair from the warrior’s face. “You are so beautiful, Xena,” she whispered. “Beautiful and terrifying. What is this power you hold over me?”

            Xena smiled but her eyes burned with seriousness and passion. “I hold no power over you that you haven’t freely given me, Lao Ma. Perhaps it’s the shadows of your darker self that you see when you look at me.”

            “What I see when I look at you, Xena, is desire,” Lao Ma replied with a smile, her hand trailing from the warrior’s cheek down her neck to her shoulder.

            “Desire is good too,” the warrior grinned, moving in to claim waiting lips once more.

            “I hope you know what you’re doin,g hacker,” Janice muttered, concerned, as she watched Xena and Lao Ma make their way to the mat in the center of the room.

            Xero didn’t answer right away, distracted by the two soon to be lovers. At first, Xena took the lead then Lao Ma quickly turned the tables and positioned the larger woman under her. Sitting astride the warrior’s hips she slowly removed the kimono from her body, letting the silk slowly fall from her shoulders. Xena’s attention was riveted. Every movement Lao Ma made was poetry in motion, every touch perfection. Xena allowed herself to be slowly, teasingly undressed, gentled by the touch and command of the courtesan’s skill.

            When the warrior cried out in rapture, the hacker allowed herself a satisfied smirk. “Who better to teach Xena about loving women than Lao Ma?” she asked. “Look at them.” Janice tried, but averted her eyes respectfully. “All Xena knows is taking. Hell, even when she’s giving, she’s taking. But here, this,” she pointed with her thumb at the passion being exchanged a few feet away. “This is about giving. She won’t catch on right away, but I think she deserves the experience. She hasn’t had an easy time of it, ya know.”

           

            Janice glanced up at  the entwined lovers without saying a word. She didn’t see it the same way Xero did. While she suspected the hacker was speaking more from personal experience than really understanding Xena, she wasn’t about to press the issue. Without realizing she was staring, she watched Lao Ma kiss her way up the warrior’s abdomen as Xena lay panting after her release. Passion’s fire hardly banked, she went after the Chinese woman with a savageness that made the archeologist uncomfortable. Lao Ma didn’t seem to mind however and seemed to be able to harness the energy of Xena’s single-minded ruthlessness and turn it to even higher levels of passion.

            Under the brim of her hat she also observed the hacker watching the lovers. If she wasn’t sure of it before, she was now positive that this woman was Xena, a Xena so scarred by her own life that she blocked the memories of her soul, even the good ones. Especially the good ones.

             “Which wounds cut the deepest?” Janice wondered silently. “The death of your son? Betrayal of your lover? Never getting a childhood? The blood on your hands?” Watching Xero she felt deeply and infinitely sad. “You can’t even see that this is you, can you? And whatever happens here isn’t going to be nearly as bad as what Ares throws at you. I wish I could reach you, Xena, I really do.”

            “Now there’s something I’ll have to remember.”

            Xero’s words intruded into Janice’s thoughts and she shook off her reverie she glanced over at the entwined bodies once more. Lao Ma was on her knees, comfortably resting on Xena’s face, head thrown back in heady abandon. Xena’s hands were resting, sort of, at Lao Ma’s hips, but she refused to look any closer. Janice waited, and watched with Xero, noting the hacker’s growing unease as the touches became more gentle.

            “Why don’t you remember that instead?” Janice commented as Lao Ma trailed feather light fingertips over the warrior’s trembling body. Giving into the tender touches, Xena returned them in kind, locking souls with her teacher once more.

            Finally after what felt like hours, Xena slept. All traces of hatred and rage gone from her features. Lao Ma was curled up on top of her, in the crook of one arm, head resting on the warrior’s shoulder. Janice fished in her pocket for a cigar, instinctively handing one to he hacker as well. Xero took an appreciative puff as Janice lit the cigar for her.

            “Didn’t know Xena was partial to fisting,” she commented.

            Janice blushed. “It was bad enough I had to watch it, hacker. If we talk about it I’m going to throw up.”

            “Oh, come on,” Xero said with a playful nudge. “It’s human interaction, no big deal.”

            “Yeah, but…” the archeologist protested. Changing her tactic she asked, “Have you ever had sex in public?”

            The hacker shrugged. “Sure, a few times.”

            “Well, imagine caring about someone so deeply that you don’t want any fragment of the experience wasted on anyone else. You want to keep it all to yourself. Just between the two of you.”

            “Mel teach you that?” Xero asked.

            Janice smiled. “No, we taught each other that.”

            Xero’s attention was drawn back to the two women as Lao Ma woke. With an sad smile, she kissed Xena’s forehead, then moved a few feet to retrieve her kimono. Xena was just starting to stir when Borias entered the room.

            In a flash, Xena was all rage and savagery once more. She attacked him on sight, beating him to a pulp.

            “Xena, stop!” Lao Ma commanded. “Control yourself. He’s here because I sent for him.” Xena didn’t seem to hear, or care for that matter. “Stop, Xena!” Lao Ma continued. “Stop willing, stop desiring, stop hating.”

            Xero watched as Xena stood at the crossroads. Then shut her eyes painfully when the warrior attacked Borias once more. “Lets get this over with,” she murmured to Janice as the two followed the others from the bed chamber.

            Janice’s concern grew steadily as Xero seemed distracted and disinterested in the things that happened around her. She showed little to no interest as Xena and Borias stopped fighting and got

 

reacquainted once more. Instead her attention seemed focused on Lao Ma, who continued to gaze at Xena with profound sadness.

            “She hasn’t hit rock bottom yet, has she?” the hacker finally inquired as the contestants settled down to the dice game for Xena’s ownership.

            “No,” Janice confirmed. Then asking a question of her own, “Does Xena love Lao Ma?”

            Xero looked thoughtful and nodded once. “For the first time in her life, she’s found someone who can see beyond the fury. Someone who sees the madness and chooses to make the journey to her soul anyway. How can you not love that?”

            Janice sighed sadly. “It just all seems so twisted.”

            Xero looked down at the shorter woman standing next to her and glared. “Who are you calling twisted?”

            Looking up, the smile instantly vanished from the archeologist’s face.

            Something had just gone seriously wrong.

            “I didn’t mean anything by it, Xero. Just an expression.”

            “I’ve heard it before,” Xero growled dangerously. “Twisted. Bent. Easy for you to judge, bitch, you’re dead.”

            Janice backed u,p trying to explain. “I didn’t mean it the way you think. I’m just saying it’s all so complicated. Loving through rage, that kind of thing.” It only took an instant for Janice to realize that Xero wasn’t really seeing her, or anyone else for that matter, just a lifetime of experiences and injustices she’d have been better off without. Ming T’zu lost his bet just as Xero took her first swing at Janice.

            “I’ll show you bent, you fucking cunt!” she shouted, charging at the smaller woman with unrestrained fury.

            “Shit,” Janice muttered tightly and rolled out of the way.

            Janice was fast, but Xero was faster and traded punches with the smaller woman as the two fought their way across the floor, often intersecting the other combatants in the room. Mel was at Janice’s side in an instant, using her equal body mass to knock the hacker to the ground. “I don’t care if it is up to you to save the world,” Mel seethed. “You’re not touching Janice.”

            “Come on Mad Dog,” Xero taunted, scrambling up. “You’re not having her fight your battles for you?” Xero stood next to Xena as she caught her breath, oblivious to the other woman holding a sword and preparing to advance threateningly on a small child.

            In that moment, she was caught in the same energy blast that threw Xena across the room. The hacker was stunned and confused as she was again picked up and thrown about the room like a rag doll. When the torrent of pain stopped at last, Xero found herself face down on the floor, unable to move. A pair of work boots entered her field of vision. She felt the painful tug on her hair as her head was lifted and she looked into Janice Covington’s eyes. The anger and hatred she expected to see there was missing, instead the green eyes looked at her with love and sadness. and she heard Janice’s voice drift down to her from above.

            “This is rock bottom, Xero” Janice said gently.

Continued - part 5

Bard's Page

Return to the Academy