Disclaimer: This is a Dash&Kiri/Voyager crossover thing. All things Star Trek belong to a whole bunch of people, you probably know exactly who far better than I do, while Dash and Kiri belong to me and originates from the stories "Ignorance is Bliss" and "It’s A Turtle Life".

If the thought of a pair of lesbian turtles does not appeal to you, then I suggest you give this a miss.

Feedback would, as ever, be most welcome at rosmari.karlssonfaltin@telia.com

Star Turtle Voyager


by Carola "Ryûchan" Eriksson

Far away in the Deltoid Quadrant there was a lost spaceship by the name of Voyager, trudging along on it’s way home, stopping only once in a while when something more interesting crossed it’s path. Aboard that starship there was a very special, very energetic green little turtle that had fluorescent green spots on her head, and tiny forehead ridges. Her name was Dash.

Dash was rather happy aboard Voyager. It was a fun place, with lots to do, and even quite a few friends, plus she got to fight something or somethings rather frequently, and Dash rather liked that. See, Dash was originally a freedom-fighter turtle, a member of the fearless Toquis that fought for the freedom of turtles everywhere.

Then Dash had ended up onboard Voyager in the Deltoid Quadrant, quite by mistake, and all the Toquis turtles and the StarTurtleFleet turtles had to get along and work together. Which was just fine with Dash, as long as there was no males onboard. Oh no, while freedom for all turtles was all well and good, Dash simply could not tolerate any males in her vicinity, and that was that. Luckily for the crew of Voyager, the Captain, a feisty red and black turtle named Kate that Dash really liked because she reminded Dash of her own hatcher, had assured Dash that there were no males aboard the ship.

Dash hadn’t been convinced at first, in fact she had thought that there were quite a lot of males aboard Voyager, one of them the pale yellow turtle Vork, who had tried to mate with her. Dash had beaten Vork quite a bit, thinking Vork was a boy, something Dash felt really bad about afterwards, when Captain Kate explained that quite a few of the turtles onboard Voyager had gotten confused when they had been transported to the Deltoid Quadrant, and ever since that day thought they were males. In fact, the only males onboard the ship was the wooden turtle Chuckles, that Kate used to toss around when she hadn’t had a good fight in a while, and the Deltoid turtle Niilex, a colourful and friendly fellow with strange spots all over, that Dash wasn’t altogether sure just what he was supposed to be, so she didn’t beat him up anyway.

That some of the turtles onboard had gotten confused an thought they were boys was one thing, Dash felt very sorry for them and tried not to let them do things that were very difficult or strenuous, but why the Emergency Turtle Holodoc also thought it was a male was beyond her. Kate, chewing her beloved coffeebeans, had looked at Dash briefly and told her it was a glitch in the ETH programming, then she hefted her newest big and shiny gun and asked Dash if she thought there was any chance they’d be boarded by hostile aliens anytime soon. Dash really liked Captain Kate, they thought alike.

Kate liked Dash as well, and she had decided that since Dash was a smart turtle, Dash would be in charge of one of the most important parts of the ship: Engineering. Engineering was Dash’s favourite place on Voyager, it had several levels with lots of railings and elevators and other fun things she could jump between or slide down, and lots of pretty lights. Her favourite part of all, though, was the core. Why, every morning when Dash went to start her daily duties as the Chief of Engineering, she’d start running from the turbolift doors, then hurl herself down on her shell right inside the doors to Engineering, and let her speed slam her against the side of the core and bounce her back towards the doors. One of these days Dash was determined she’d get enough speed and bounce in to be hurled right back out through those doors.

Dash never quite did understand why all the other turtles that worked in Engineering huddled along the walls or hid underneath their consoles. Nor could she really understand why so many of them were afraid of her, she had only beaten Vork up once... and then Bum Parasite of course, the annoying helm turtle that kept flirting with her... and then there was all the alien turtles, like the Whihiians or the Zerogen, but really, they had been male, and besides, Kate had told her to. Dash felt she was a peace-loving turtle at heart, she was just misunderstood.

Then after travelling in the Deltoid Quadrant for some time, the turtles aboard Voyager met the feared Tortoise Borg, with their armoured shells and metal implants, travelling in giant square spaceships and assimilating anyone they encountered. Voyager fought against the Tortoise Borg, and eventually Captain Kate managed to trick the Tortoise Queen – whom Dash was quite sure was a male despite the name – allowing Voyager to run away from them. Of course, to do that Kate had sort of accidentally stolen the Tortoise Queen’s favourite Drone, K of Ri.

Dash had been working in Engineering, hardly flipping between the railings at all in all the hurry, when Captain Kate had brought K of Ri, or Kiri as they started to call her, to help them work. And Dash had been mesmerized.

Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Dash had yelped, looking at the prettiest little turtle she had ever seen. Then of course Dash lost her footing, being far to busy staring at the pretty red turtle to mind where her flippers were going on the railing, and fell... right onto Kiri, pummelling her to the floor. Captain Kate and the security turtles had pulled Dash away, and Dash had been too dazed after being that close to the pretty newcomer to protest when they said that Dash had gotten angry and attacked Kiri. Then Kiri was taken away to work, and Dash was kept there, staring longingly after the pretty red.

Dash couldn’t concentrate on her work anymore, all she could think about was that pretty little red turtle with the shiny metal implant over one eye... so she tried to track her down. Of course, when Dash caught up with the newcomer she was just turning the corner at a high speed, and forgot to stop or steer when she saw the pretty again. And so Dash ended up flattening Kiri on the floor of the hallway.

Kate lectured Dash before Dash had a chance to explain herself, and took Kiri away to see the ETH. Dash moped, pouting mightily as she drew little imaginary hearts on the floor with her front flippers.

By the time Kiri was released from Sicknest, most of her metallic things had been removed, and all of her shell armour. Now all the silvery things that were visible was the arch above her eye, the webbing on the tip of one of her front flippers, and a little starburst on her cheek. Dash swooned as she saw Kiri walk out of Sicknest together with Kate and some security turtles, but they didn’t notice her leaning on the wall behind them.

After that Dash was a turtle on a mission. She had to see the pretty red, and more, she had to make a good impression so that the pretty red would like her! But how... Dash worried about how she should go about that.

It was quite by accident that Dash found out that Kiri was given a Tortoise Borg nesting in one of the Cargo Bays, and grabbing onto her courage with both front flippers, Dash brought a flower and raced over to the Cargo Bay where Kiri was supposed to be.

Inside Dash found Kiri resting in her metal nest, all lit up and displayed like treasure, and Dash’s little heart pounded wildly in her chest at the sight. Kiri was so pretty, such a pretty red, with that silvery arch that Dash just wanted to nuzzle... or maybe nip a little. She was small, smaller than Dash, but oh, the curves of her shell... the lovely colouring... the graceful shape of her flippers... the tiny starburst on her cheek. Dash really just wanted to rush up to her and nuzzle Kiri until she woke up, or the metal nesting fell apart, whichever came first.

Shifting her grip on the flower a little, Dash started towards the nest.

Then To’Owie from security stepped out from behind a corner, telling Dash she had to go away from there. Dash protested, trying to tell To’Owie that she had to wake the pretty red up so she could tell her that she, Dash, was the turtle for her, but To’Owie didn’t listen. Instead other security turtles came, and they all dragged Dash away.

Pretty! Pretty! My pretty! Dash wailed, but to no avail, the security turtles pulled Dash by the flippers far away from the Cargo Bay and told her to stay away. Now Dash could have thumped them all, but she did still feel sorry for them for thinking they were male, and Kate might be cross with her if she did. So Dash went to her own nest, complaining about the unfairness of things, then like the good and optimistic turtle she was, began to make plans for how to meet up with her pretty Kiri.

In the days that followed, Kiri was given her own place to work, a place made especially for her since everyone thought Dash had attacked her when Kiri was supposed to work in Engineering. Dash knew that Kiri was the only one smart enough to work in Astroaquametrics, so she would be alone there, which made it the perfect place for Dash to introduce herself without being interrupted. So Dash polished her shell until it shone, screwed up her courage, and set out for Astroaquametrics.

Dash bounced down the hallway to the doors of Astroaquametrics. She was going to see the pretty red at last! She brushed a speck of dust from her shiny shell, checked her flippers so she hadn’t gotten any dirt on them, drew herself up inside her shell so that she’d look bigger than she really was, and, with a wagging tail, swaggered into Astroaquametrics.

The sight of Kiri raising her silvery implant at her made Dash feel rather shaky in her flippers, but what made her fall down in her shell with a dull thunk was the fact that Kiri wasn’t alone in Astroaquametrics. No, the black and yellow turtle Verry Dim was already there, and standing much too close to Dash’s pretty Kiri. Much too close.

Her little turtle heart falling to the floor and breaking in many tiny bits, Dash turned and shuffled out of the room, head slumping and tail hanging downheartedly. With her little turtle lip trembling, Dash shuffled herself all the way over to the Foodbowl hall, where she sat herself in the darkest corner she could find, and sadly flung little forgotten pieces of someone’s dinner across the floor.

She sat there for some time, until she happened to hear Verry Dim speaking to Bum Parasite as they entered the Foodbowl hall. Verry Dim was depressed because he – yes, Verry Dim was another of those poor, misguided turtles that thought themselves male – had tried to approach Kiri and make her interested in him, but she had told him that he was not what she was looking for. Dash perked up.

Suddenly hopeful again, Dash bounded over to her friend, Niilex, to beg him for some advice. After all, Niilex had dated Dash’s friend Kissy, the other space turtle from the Deltoid Quadrant, for quite a while even though Niilex was rather funny-looking and... male. Of course, Captain Kate had inadvertently stolen Kissy away with her debonair attitude and trigger-happy bravery, but still, Dash figured Niilex had to know lots of secrets in the way to win a turtle’s heart.

A while later, Dash bounded eagerly towards the Cargo Bay where Kiri was supposed to be, carrying a huge slice of carrot, since Niilex had assured her that the way to win a lady turtle’s heart was to romance her with food. So Dash would be romantic, and she would feed Kiri. Simple.

In the hallway outside the Cargo Bay, Dash was surprised to find Chuckles, the wooden turtle. She had thought Chuckles was supposed to be on the Bridgy, where Captain Kate could kick him around when she felt frustrated for not having fought someone all day, and wondered why anyone had dragged him down there. Perhaps Kate had decided to put Chuckles in storage at long last, after all, he was missing quite a few bits by now.

This time when Dash entered the Cargo Bay, Kiri was awake, standing in her metal nest while working on something there. Suddenly feeling very faint, Dash swaggered up to the nest and held out her piece of carrot in offering.

Kiri looked at her and then at the carrot slice, her silvery implant rising slightly in question, making Dash’s flippers shake just a little as she saw it. Dash really wanted to pull herself up to look bigger, and tell Kiri that she was Dash, the turtle meant for Kiri, but she was after all carrying a rather large slice of carrot, so she couldn’t.

Kiri stepped down from her nest and very gingerly took the slice away from the silently crowing Dash. Yesyesyesyes! Kiri nibbled on the slice ever so slightly, then put it down and quite calmly moved closer to Dash, and nuzzled her head.

Dash’s little eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.

Kiri seemed quite amused when Dash woke up a little while later, looked at Kiri once with wide, astonished eyes, then set of running, bouncing and flipping through the Cargo Bay at an amazing speed, going WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Finally Kiri reached out and put a stop to Dash’s spinning around, because although Dash was incredibly cute doing it, Kiri had something else in mind for them now that they were finally alone. Dash strutted over to Kiri confidently, her little tail wagging furiously as Kiri moved in to nuzzle Dash some more. Dash sighed happily.

Then Kiri asked Dash if she knew how to lock the doors to the Cargo Bay, because Kiri wanted them to be alone and undisturbed. Dash was quite ready to nail the doors shut if she had to, but she managed to lock them the usual way first. Then she turned and bounced happily back over to Kiri.

Kiri smiled mysteriously and led Dash by the flipper up to her metal nest. Dash felt a little shy suddenly, but Kiri nuzzled her until all such thoughts had gone far, far away... and Kiri was the only turtle anywhere for Dash.

Late the following day, a rather miffed Captain Kate finally found her Chuckles, and wondered who had been the smarty-pants that had stolen her favourite victim and propped him up against the doors of the Cargo Bay. In fact, whoever had done it had scratched the doors a bit with his front flippers, making it look as if he had been trying to get in, and Kate wasn’t all that amused.

Kate was just about to drag Chuckles off for another round of Captain of Pain, when she heard something from inside the Cargo Bay. The doors didn’t open when she tried them, so Kate leaned in to listen... after a moment she straightened and looked a bit surprised, then grinned. As she dragged Chuckles, who strangely enough almost seemed to be trying to resist, off for the Bridgy, she wondered if perhaps she would go and pay Kissy a little visit instead...

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