Chapter Eight
A Minor Interruption
Just as promised, Hercules showed up right at half past 7 for breakfast. Of course, his first concern was if Xena was still there, and was she all right.
“She's still sleeping,” Gabrielle told him as they sat down to one of Harry's massive breakfasts: a dozen scrambled eggs, a pound of fried bacon, two pounds of fried potatoes with onions, a dozen biscuits and honey, a gallon of freshly squeezed orange juice, diced melons and cantaloupe, and strong, dark coffee.
By 8:30 they had finished eating and were about to talk about the “problem” over coffee, when Xena made an appearance. It was evident she had put on a fresh bandage over her gash. Gabrielle immediately got up to pour her a cup of coffee and to give her her seat.
“How did you sleep?” Annie asked.
“Whatever those pills Gabrielle gave me must have been powerful ones, I don't even remember falling asleep. So I guess I slept fine.”
Xena drank down half the coffee, then looked around at everyone as Gabrielle refilled her cup.
“I know what's going on here,” she said. “I knew just as soon as you showed up at the diner,” she said to Hercules.
She sighed.
“But I'm not mad, I know why. You all think I'm out of control, that I have anger issues, and can't be trusted not to - to stay out of trouble. And you're right. Surely you didn't think I wasn't aware of how I've been acting. And I think I know what the problem is, and I think I know how to fix it - I can't be here anymore. I need to get away away from everybody and everything. So, I'm leaving.”
Not expecting this, everyone was momentarily stunned and didn't know what to say. Finally, Annie asked, “And just where are you going?”
“I don't know. But wherever it is, it has to be away from people. I was thinking maybe getting lost in some forest somewhere, maybe like Montana or Washington. Or some South American jungle. Just someplace I can be alone and live my life without hurting anyone.”
“Do you really think that is the best plan?” Mattie asked. “Being a hermit, living off the land, never seeing any of us again?”
Before Xena could answer, Harry broke in. “Do you guys hear that? Is that thunder?”
They all listened for a few seconds, then Hercules said, “That's not thunder, those are motorcycles. I think we have company.”
They all got up from the table and headed toward the front door.
“Why don't you let me handle this,” Xena said. “I'm the one they're looking for.”
“Both of us,” Hercules said. “I'm sure they want us both.”
Xena nodded, then together they went through the front door out on the front lawn to confront the motorcycle gang. Looking around, they counted more than a dozen bikers parked in a semicircle across the width of the lawn.
“See, man,” one of then said excitedly, “I told you it was them - Xena and Hercules!”
“You're full of shit, man! They're not real.”
Then he said to Xena, “Did you really think we wouldn't know where to find you? We got eyes all over this city, we know everything!”
Just then Gabrielle walked out of the house with one hand behind her.
“See, man! There's the other one! I told you, man!”
“Bullshit!” he responded.
“Xena,” Gabrielle said softly, then tossed her the Chakram.
Xena smiled as she caught it, then exclaimed, “How real is THIS?”
She then threw the Chakram just barely over their heads, causing half of them to dive off their bikes. The Chakram started curving upward, then hit a metal light pole, causing it to split into its two halves, each one going left and right and curving back toward the bikers, flying low enough to clip off more than half of the rear view mirrors. They combined just as they were caught by the still grinning Xena. But before they could recover, Hercules walked over to one of the motorcycles and picked up the 800 pound machine by one of the struts forming the frame, and holding it at arm's length to the side, turned it up so the back tire was up in the air, and the front tire was a couple of feet off the ground.
“Hey, man!” the leader yelled out. “That's my ride!”
“You want to play some catch?” Hercules asked, also grinning as he feinted throwing it to him. The biker back pedaled a few steps, his hands in front of him, palms outward, as if to block it if Hercules really threw it.
“No, man, no! Just put it down, okay?”
At that moment both Annie and Mattie walked outside to stand between Xena and Hercules.
“There's more of you?” the gang leader exclaimed.
“You have no idea,” Annie answered menacingly.
“Look, man,” he continued. “we don't want no trouble. We just came by for a friendly visit, okay?”
“Well, you picked the wrong place to visit,” Gabrielle said.
“Yeah, okay, man. We'll go, okay, just give me back my ride.”
“Hercules,” Annie said calmly, “why don't you give the nice man his motorcycle back?”
“Sure,” he replied. Then to the biker he said, “Are you sure you don't want to play catch?”
“I'm sure, man. I just want my bike back, in one piece.”
“Okay.”
Hercules turned the motorcycle back upright, let it drop a couple feet, then grabbed the handlebar to keep it from falling over.
“Here it is. Climb aboard.”
The biker looked at Annie then back to Hercules, afraid to go near it, but afraid not to. He looked back at Annie, who nodded, and he cautiously got back on his bike.
“Now,” Annie said to all of them. “This is how this is going to work. All of you are going to ride away from here, forgetting where we live. But if anyone else shows up - any of your friends, or relatives, or the police, or investigators, or reporters, or anyone else who comes here uninvited, we will assume it is because one of you said the wrong thing to the wrong person.”
“Except for Girls Scouts selling cookies,” Mattie interjected.
“Yes, except for Girls Scouts. Xena, how many heads do you think you could take off with your Chakram?”
“As many as I want to, any time, any place. Talk about a bloody mess.”
“And Hercules, how long do you think it would take you to demolish their little bar hangout, killing everyone inside?”
“Thirty, maybe 60 seconds.”
“You get my point?” Annie said with deadly seriousness in her voice.
“Yeah, man, we get it. Nobody's gonna say nothin' about nothin'. I swear!”
“Then I think this 'friendly' visit is over. Leave. Now.”
Without another word, all motorcycles started almost as once as they turned around and drove off at a high rate of speed. And just as a final warning, Xena threw the Chakram just over their heads. It curved upward and cut off the branch of a tree ahead of them, then circled back. Xena walked into the house. Leaving Annie to catch it. She passed Harry, who was watching from the living room window, not wanting to join them, knowing his presence would be a distraction.
“How about some more coffee.” she said.
“You got it.”
“And make it strong this time.”
Chapter Nine
Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster
“Well, that was fun,” Annie said half serious, half joking, as they all resumed their seats around the dining room table.
“Too much fun to suit me,” Mattie commented.
“So, where was I?” Xena asked.
As she was trying to remember, Gabrielle said quietly, “You were talking about leaving.”
“Oh yeah, I remember now.”
“Do you really think leaving is the best way to go?” Hercules asked her.
“I've been thinking about this for a while. And I don't see things getting any better. In fact, I only see things getting worse.”
“They don't have to be,” Gabrielle protested. “We're here for you, don't you understand that? Whatever we can do, whatever it will take to help you, we're here! We'll always be here!”
“But that's just it, I don't think there is anything that can help me.”
“Why are you saying that?” Gabrielle was almost in tears.
“I don't think any of you realize what's going on. I'm - I'm shutting down, or something. Whatever magic Alti used to bring me back is wearing off, or not working any more. I can feel it. I just know it.”
Xena suddenly yanked the bandage off her forehead. It was still seeping blood.
“Do you see this?” she said, pointing to the cut. “This should have scabbed over already; it should be mostly healed up by now. But it's not! And the way I think, the things I think about - they're wrong, I know it, but I can't control it. Just like when I threw the Chakram at those bikers - do you know how hard it was for me not to kill them? All of them?”
“But you didn't,” Mattie told her. “Whatever was going on in your brain, you controlled it.”
“This time. But what about the next time? Or the time after that? I feel like that Altzimer's, or whatever it's called, is taking over my mind.”
“Wait a minute,” Annie interrupted. “You think you mind and body are deteriorating? But nothing seems to be wrong with Gabrielle.”
“Of course not!” Xena said with particular vehemence. “She's Little Miss Perfect! Nothing is ever wrong with HER!”
Before anyone could respond to defend her, Gabrielle put one hand up and shook her head, silencing them ahead of time.
“Do you really think that?” she asked quietly, the hurt in her voice very obvious.
“I don't know. I don't know a goddamned thing anymore. Except that I know I'm dying. Call it deteriorating, or whatever fancy word you want, but my mind isn't right, and I can feel my body I don't know, but something is wrong with me; very wrong. And it is getting worse.”
Gabrielle got up from her chair and went to Xena, knelt down and put her arms around her, holding her as tenderly as she could. For a moment Xena sat as a statue, then slowly melted as her arms went around her Soul Mate.
“I'm scared, Gabrielle. Help me,” she whispered into Gabrielle's ear. “Please.”
As they watched, they could see tears squeezing out from Xena's tightly closed eyes.
“I'm here for you,” Gabrielle whispered back. “If you still want to leave, I'll go with you. Anyplace you want to go, I'll be by your side, just like always.”
Silently, Harry put a large mug of hot, strong, black coffee on the table and took the quarter full one of weaker, cold coffee away. After Gabrielle and Xena released each other and Gabrielle sat back in her chair, Xena drank half the coffee down ignoring the burning in her throat.
After a couple of minutes, Xena said to Gabrielle, “Where I'm going, wherever that may be, I can't take you. I can't ask you to come with me knowing what is probably going to happen to me, both physically and mentally.”
“You don't have to ask, I'm volunteering.”
Xena shook her head. “I can't let you go. There's no telling what I might -- what might happen to you because of me.”
“That never stopped you before.” Now Gabrielle's voice began to get a hardness in it. “I followed you to Britannia, and ended up as Dahak's bitch, and bore his evil daughter. I followed you to Japan where you let yourself be killed, and then I had to fight for your headless body, and for your head!”
By now Gabrielle was on her feet, looking down at Xena, and was to the point that she was almost shouting.
“So don't you dare ... don't you DARE tell me where I can and cannot go! I was crucified for you! I went to HELL for you!”
Gabrielle's rage had expended itself and she collapsed, exhausted, barely catching herself as her hands hit the table hard, gasping for air. Annie and Mattie immediately went to her, but Xena only sat silently, not moving, as if she were completely detached from what had just happened. Both women led, and half carried, Gabrielle into her and Xena's bedroom and gently laid her on the bed as her panting turned to sobs.
“I'll stay with her,” Mattie said softly to Annie.
Annie nodded, then returned to the dining room and absently accepted a cup of the fresh coffee from Harry. Neither Hercules nor Xena had moved or said anything.
“She'll be fine. She just needs some rest.”
After an awkward couple of minutes, Xena rose to leave.
“Don't go,” Annie said. “I have an idea. A really, really, REALLY bad idea.”
“What is is?” Hercules asked.
“I believe Xena is right about Alti's magic. Maybe it was flawed, or maybe she did it on purpose, I don't know. And I'm sure you know better than I do about the long-term potency of Aphrodite's magic. But what if we can get someone whose magic is strong enough? Someone who can transfer souls from one body to another?”
“Ares?” Xena exclaimed, not believing what she just heard. “You want to ask Ares to - to fix me?”
“Do you know of anyone else? Any other god who might be willing to help; who might be able to help?”
Annie looked at Hercules questioningly. “Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. I have no way of knowing. I guess it would depend on what he could get out of it.”
“Do you know how to get in touch with him? It couldn't hurt to ask. All he could do is say no.”
Hercules shook his head. “I wouldn't know how to begin to find him.”
“What about Aphrodite? If you could get in touch with her somehow, I know she could find him.”
“You know,” Xena said, “it used to be all we would have to do is call for him and he'd show up.”
“I know. But that was back in Greece when he was never that far away. But don't you remember right after you got here, you yelled yourself hoarse calling for him?”
“Just a thought.”
“So how about it? Think you could scare up Aphrodite somehow?”
“I don't know. I suppose I could try a couple of things.”
“That's all I'm asking.”
“Well, I suppose I should go,” Hercules said as he started to get up. “Things to do, people to find.”
“Do you think you could stay a bit longer?” Annie asked. “Just for a little while?”
“Sure.”
“I should probably look in on her,” Xena said. “It's the least I could do.”
“Yes it is,” Annie answered coldly.
Xena went into the bedroom. Mattie was sitting on the side of the bed holding Gabrielle's hand, who had cried herself to sleep. Xena went to the opposite side of the bed and sat down. She could see the pillowcase under her head was wet from her tears. Mattie got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her as Xena gently laid down beside Gabrielle. After a few moments she reached out and move a few strands of hair from her face, then took her hand away, afraid to wake her up.
“She's asleep,” Mattie told them as she sat back down at the table. “Probably will be for quite a while.”
After a few moments, Annie asked, “Have you noticed anything different about her? Changes in attitude, or health issues?”
Mattie shook her head. “No. As far as I know, she is as normal as you and I. Even with that outburst, which, I'm surprised it took so long to happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. Gabrielle followed Xena, I followed you, any and every place she took her, no matter what the danger, no matter how life threatening it was, no matter how much hurt or emotional damage there might have been. Something like that festering inside is bound to take a toll. She just said things she had been holding in for much too long.”
Annie bit her bottom lip, then reluctantly asked, “Is that how you feel?”
“In a way. But for Gabrielle it is so much fresher that it is for me. I have the memories, old memories of course, and I still feel some of the hurt, but for Gabrielle it's like it was almost yesterday.”
“Then if I hurt you so much, put you in so much danger, why did you stay with me all those years?”
“Because I was so much in love with you it would have hurt worse to live without you. I still feel that way, just as Gabrielle still feels that way about Xena.”
Annie reached out and took Mattie's hand, letting a tear trickle down her cheek. “Right back at-cha,” she said softly, with loving smile.
“Okay,” Hercules said, “not to spoil the mood or anything, but now I do think I should go.”
Annie and Mattie walked him to the door, both hugged him, then watched him drive away with an arm around each other.
“Looks like the lawn could use some R&R,” Annie commented, looking at the motorcycle tire tracks and the places where they had torn up the grass spinning the tires to get away a fast as possible.
“Maybe tomorrow, if Harry's up to it.” Mattie answered as they turned and went back inside.
Chapter Ten
Aphrodite, then Ares
The next few days had everyone walking on eggshells around Xena. No one wanted to make her mad enough to leave again, but it was hard to keep her busy. They all went to the office, they still had paying clients that needed to be satisfied. Annie decided it would be better if she took Xena with her, rather than Gabrielle or Mattie. Xena balked each time, mentioning how boring talking to clients, and doing background investigating in the field was. But since there was no real alternative except to leave Xena at home to her own devices, they all insisted.
On the fourth evening just after supper there was a pinkish flash of light that was gone almost before it was seen, and Aphrodite and Hercules were standing there, arguing - good naturedly.
“Oh, I'm gonna get you back, you can count on that, mister,” Aphrodite was saying.
“Now you know it wasn't that bad. It was a joke. How else was I supposed to find you?”
“But with....” Then Aphrodite realized they were in Annie and Mattie's dining room with all four women, and Harry, watching and listening to her and Hercules.
“Well, hi, girls!” Aphrodite said happily, her “argument” with Hercules momentarily forgotten. “Gosh, you all look so good! I really need to come by more often to visit!”
“Yes, you do,” Gabrielle said as she stepped up for the first hug, then it was Mattie's turn, then Annie's, and lastly Xena, who barely put her arms around her. Harry just nodded and smiled.
“Do you know what this big oaf did to me?” she asked, remembering. “Do you have any idea of how he - insulted me?”
“I was only trying to get you to show up. How else was I supposed to find you, or have you find me?”
“But fish?”
“What about fish?” Gabrielle asked, as intrigued as the others.
“Tell her,” Aphrodite insisted. “Tell all of them what you did!”
Trying to keep from laughing, Hercules explained. “When you want to find a god, or have one come to you, what is the one thing that will work?”
He looked around at them but only got blank looks.
“You build a shrine. You decorate so there will be no misunderstanding who it is dedicated to. And then you place offerings on the altar. What could be simpler than that? Of course, you may have to wait a while - hours, days, maybe weeks. Unless you offer something that you know just cannot be ignored.”
“FISH!” Aphrodite exclaimed. “He put FISH on my altar! Lots and lots of nasty, slimy, ugly, smelly, rotten fish! On MY altar!”
“Well, it worked. I paid a half dozen people to bring fish, and to chant and sing praises to you, and you were there in less than fifteen minutes. And here we are.”
“Yeah. You said they needed me, but....” Aphrodite looked at all of them. “Why do you need me?”
“Before we get into that,” Annie said. “What is it about fish that you hate so much? Almost everyone I know loves fish.”
“Well, fish, being fish, aren't so bad, not really I guess. But have you ever left fish out for days, or weeks, or months? Do you have any idea how bad they smell? And do you have any idea how hard it is to get that smell out of my temples? Next to impossible, let me tell you, even for a god.”
“So you really don't hate fish so much. You just hate offerings of fish,” Mattie concluded.
“Correct-a-mundo!” Aphrodite said. “You guessed it! I guess.”
“Well, the next time we make an offering to you - no fish,” Annie said.
“Thank you. Now - why am I here?”
“Because I”m dying,” Xena said quietly.
“Will you STOP saying that!” Gabrielle said, the fear very evident in her voice.
Aphrodite gave a small laugh. “Of course you're dying; you're a mortal. You all are dying.”
“No,” Xena contradicted, “There is something wrong with me.”
“Oh?”
Gabrielle took Aphrodite's right hand and placed it on the left side of her neck, with Aphrodite's finger tips on the back of her neck and her thumb just behind her ear.
“Is there anything wrong with me, that you can tell?”
For a few seconds the Goddess of Love said nothing, then, “Not that I can tell. You're just an ordinary mortal. Well, a little bit different considering the way you got here. But other than that, you are just as normal as anyone.”
“Now me,” Xena said as she placed Aphrodite's left hand in the same place on the right side of her neck.
It took Aphrodite longer to react, but then her eyes began to widen, and then she quickly took her hand back as if she had touched a Hind's Blood Dagger.
“Oh. Oh! What is going on with you? Something is wrong, very wrong. And you are right - you ARE dying. And it won't be long either - months maybe. And they won't be very happy ones.”
“I don't suppose you can do anything, is there?” Gabrielle asked, but not expecting anything.
“You know, things like this really aren't what I do,” she said, trying to explain without sounding like she was brushing them off. “Trying to figure out stuff like this could really give me a headache, if I got headaches.”
“That's all right,” Annie told her. “We actually didn't expect you to be able to do anything. What we really need you to do is to try to find Ares, and then to convince him to come here."
“We think he might be able to do something,” Hercules continued.
“Oh, Bro, that takes SUCH a load off my mind!”
The relief on her face was obvious.
“But locating Ares - that is going to be a chore. This world is SO much bigger than Greece, and he could be anywhere.”
“But you'll try, won't you?” Gabrielle asked, pleading in her eyes.
Aphrodite touched her cheek, then said, “ Of course I will, sweetie. Of course I will. What are friends for?”
She shook herself a bit, as if getting ready for a monumental challenge, which it was for her. She looked around at everyone, then closed her eyes, concentrating. Almost ten minutes went by; no one moved and no one said anything. Finally her eyes opened and she smiled.
“I found that rascal. So now all I have to do is convince him to come and help, right?"
“That's all,” Annie agreed. “You know, if you have to, you can tell him it's about Xena. Or that Hercules is here, if that will make a difference.”
“Okay. I will see you all later.”
And with another slightly pink flash of light, she was gone.
“Coffee anyone?” Harry asked.
“Couldn't hurt,” Mattie answered.
After they settled in the living room, Gabrielle said, “There's something I don't understand. I know Alti wants Xena dead, but she also wants to hurt her. So why didn't she make me the one to get sick and - and die? Wouldn't that hurt her more - knowing I was dying and she couldn't do anything to save me?”
“Because Alti is more diabolical than that,” Annie answered. “She wanted Xena's mental state to get so bad that in a fit of rage she would kill you, and then after realizing what she had done, would suffer even more, possibly even go insane.”
Annie looked over at Hercules, who nodded. “She's right. As much as Xena loves you, that is exactly what could happen. If anyone would know about that, I do. Then there is no telling what kind of havoc she would cause - wantonly killing anything or anyone she comes across, all kinds of property damage, anything.”
“I am right here,” Xena said to them flatly. “And I can hear everything you all are saying about me.”
“Sorry,” Annie apologized. “It's hard to talk about this and be objective about it as well.”
Gabrielle moved closer on the sofa to Xena and took one of her hands, squeezed it gently and Xena squeezed back.
After a while, Annie turned on the TV, nothing was on anyone wanted to watch, so she put it on a PBS station about sharks, but kept the volume down to barely hearing level. Both Gabrielle and Xena dozed off on the sofa. Hercules and Annie and Mattie were in overstuffed chairs close enough to talk without having to speak loud enough to wake Xena and Gabrielle. Harry was in his bedroom talking to Maggie on the phone. It was almost an hour before there were simultaneous flashes of light that announced the arrival of Aphrodite and Ares. Everyone was instantly on their feet.
“This better be good,” Ares said. “And it better be important.”
Ares looked around at everyone, particularly at Xena, Gabrielle, Annie and Mattie.
“Well, I see the gang is all here, plus one,” he commented, looking at Hercules last.
“Hey, Brother, want to go another ten rounds?” Ares asked, smiling, as he put up his fists and feinted with a couple of short jabs. But then he struck with a fast left jab, which would have knocked Hercules across the room, if he hadn't caught the fist and held it tight.
“Okay!” Aphrodite said loudly. “None of that. You promised!”
“Anything you say,” he responded cheerfully. “Maybe next time,” he said to Hercules. “So what is the big emergency?”
“It's me,” Xena said. “There is something seriously wrong with me, and I am dying.”
“Too bad,” he answered with little sympathy. “But it happens to all you mortals.”
“So you would just let her die, just like that?” Gabrielle said, angry. “So the history you two had means nothing to you?”
“Hate to break it to you, little girl, but that was way too many years ago. I've moved on, as I'm sure she has.”
“Can't you at least - look at her, see what's wrong with her?” Gabrielle pleaded, the anger replaced with concern.
Ares sighed. “Sure. Why not? Since you dragged me here,” looking at Aphrodite.
“Me first,” Gabrielle said.
Ares put one hand on the top of her head, and waited for a few seconds. “So what am I doing?” he asked.
“Am I normal?” she asked.
“Yes,” he replied impatiently. “You are a normal, mortal human being.”
“Now Xena,” Gabrielle instructed.
Ares put his hand on Xena's shoulder. And like Aphrodite, discovered that there was something, several somethings, wrong with her.
“Whoa. You are seriously in need of some help. Supernatural help.”
“Can you fix her?” Annie asked. “Make her as healthy as the rest of us?”
“Well, I don't know. What's in it for me?”
“I told you,” Hercules said. “He's only out for himself.”
“First I want to know if you can cure her,” Annie said. “Then we'll talk payment.”
“I suppose I could, if the price was right.”
“I don't think he can,” Mattie stated. “I think it's beyond his capabilities. But I bet Evander could do it. I hear he can do anything just by thinking about it.”
“That's a good idea,” Annie said. “Maybe we should get Evander here and let Ares get back to whatever evil war stuff he was doing.”
“EVANDER?” Ares exclaimed, “That mama's boy? The one who can't cut those apron strings long enough to think for himself? You have to be joking!”
“Well,” Gabrielle added, “If it's too much for you, then what choice do we have? Aphrodite, do you think you could find him?”
“Well, sure.”
“Now wait just a minute!” Ares demanded. “I can do this. You don't need to get HIM.”
“I'll tell you what,” Annie said quietly. “How about if I sweeten the pot?”
“How?”
“If you will cure, fix, whatever, Xena so that she is just as healthy - physically and mentally as she is supposed to be, I will give you a son.”
Suddenly everyone started talking at once, but Annie talked over them. “Just think, your very own offspring that you can raise to be the son you want him to be, however you want him to be.”
To make sure he was hearing right, Ares waved his hand and everyone but Annie, Aphrodite and Hercules were frozen in place.
“Are you serious about this? Because Xena offered me the very same thing two years ago, and even then I was suspicious of the way this so-called magical witch brought her here.”
“But I was born and raised by two normal parents. Not cloned by some 'so-called magical witch'.”
Ares was still skeptical. “How do I know I can trust you?”
“Look around. There are three mortals, a demigod, and a goddess, all who are witnesses to my promise. Plus, my word is good, now and forever.”
Ares wave his hand again and unfroze the mortals.
“Annie, you can't be serious,” Mattie said, not believing what she had said. “I know I did not just hear you offer to give Ares an heir. I cannot believe I heard you say that!”
“If it will save Xena's life. If he can save her, then you heard right.” Annie was adamant about her decision.
“Somebody say something! Aphrodite?” Mattie implored her. “Tell her not to do this!”
“If this is her decision then who am I to tell her different? And since I have my work cut out for me - getting rid of all those fish, I'm out of here.”
The last words she said as she teleported away was, “I wonder where I can get a few dozen cats.”
Mattie turned to Hercules. “Hercules? Say something!”
“I'm afraid I have to agree with Aphrodite. If this is the bargain Annie is willing to make, then it's not my place to tell her no.”
“Gabrielle?” Mattie tried as last resort. “Surely you don't agree with this!”
“If he can save Xena's life, and Annie is willing to let him impregnate her as a condition, then I can't go against it. I'm sorry, Mattie, but I just can't.”
Ignoring Xena, who had been silent the entire time, Mattie turned back to Ares. “Then why not Gabrielle? Or me? Either one of us could just as easily give you a son.”
“Because I don't want a son from either one of you. I want one from Xena, or Annie in this case. So yes, I will fix whatever this Alti did to Xena, and then I will expect a 'honeymoon night' from Annie just as soon as I do.”
“Then done is done,” Annie said. “When Xena is fixed, you will have one night with me.”
Chapter Eleven
Yet Another Minor Interruption
Ares turned to Xena and placed both hands on her shoulders, then moved them to the sides of her head, then to her neck, as if trying to find just the right spot. Suddenly he turned around to Hercules.
“You know, I'm still mad you never got me a few guest starring parts in that outer space show like you did on that other one.”
“That was you?” Mattie said loudly to Ares. “I thought it had to be, but your looks changed so much. Your hair was long, then it was short. Your beard changed, your clothes were different. Even your sword changed.”
“Well, that's the price you pay for working for eccentric and incompetent directors - always wanting something different.”
“Uh, excuse me,” Gabrielle broke in. “Xena?”
“Oh, sure. Of course.”
Again he turned to Xena and put his hands on her shoulders again, then turned back to Hercules one more time.
“So? Why didn't you get me a few parts?”
“Well, for one thing, this kind of show had no use for a god of war. Plus, this was a different production company. I had nothing to say about the casting.”
“You're stalling!” Gabrielle accused Ares. She then looked at everyone else. “He's stalling! He can't do it!”
“Now hold on there. Of course I can do it. But you don't seem to realized just how delicate and how sensitive it is - fooling around with someone's....”
“What's wrong with her?” Gabrielle demanded. “She's not moving. What did you do to her?”
“I put her to sleep,” Ares explained impatiently. “You didn't think she was going to be awake for this, did you?”
“No,” Gabrielle answered, “I - I guess not.”
“Now - if you don't mind, unless you'd rather I did nothing.”
“No. No. Go ahead, if you can.”
“Now what?” Ares said, getting a little irritated.
“What what?” Annie asked, looking at everyone. “What...?
“You don't hear that?” he asked. “Of course you don't”
“Hear what?”
“Motorcycles, five of them.”
“Shit!” Annie exclaimed. “Don't tell me they're back!”
“I don' t know who 'they' are,” Ares continued, “but I smell gasoline, and fire. I'm thinking Molotov cocktails. You must have really pissed somebody off!”
Everyone rushed through the house and out of the front door, but Ares was already there. They watched as he waved his hand at the flying fire bombs, stopping them in mid air ten to fifteen feet from the front of the house, and freezing the escaping motorcycles and riders as well.
“I take it these are not friends of yours,” Ares stated unnecessarily.
“Some of Xena's fight club adventures,” Hercules said. “And mine too, I guess.”
“Twice she went to their hangout and started fights. Then they came here and she used the Chakram to run them off.” Annie explained. “I told them not to come back unless they wanted to, well -- die. But I guess they didn't believe me.”
Ares walked a few steps into the front yard, waved a few fingers and the frozen motorcycles spun slowly around until they were facing him, then moved them to the edge of the lawn.
“Okay,” he said to the the bikers; frozen but still very aware of everything that was going on; and very scared. “You don't know me, but Ares is the name, and waging war is my Game. Yes, that God-of-War Ares. Now I'm involved in some especially delicate negotiations inside the house you just thought you were going to burn down. So what I want you to do is go back to your clubhouse, or bar, whatever, and stay there. And make sure all of you other biker buddies are there, too. And when I get through with what I'm doing here, you can expect me to pay you all a little visit.”
Without looking at her, he said, “Gabrielle, would you mind giving them back their bottles?”
She walked to the two of them she could reach, the pieces of cloth stuffed into the necks of the bottles no longer burning, and tucked each bottle into the shirts of each biker. Then Ares allowed the other three that had arched too high to drop into her hands and she tucked them in the shirts as well. And with wave of his hand, all five motorcycles spun back around, and he unfroze them, allowing the five of them to continue their “escape.”
“You're not going to kill them, are you?” Mattie asked.
“I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll recruit them as mercenaries. Maybe I'll have Aphrodite pay them a visit. Or maybe I won't do anything at all.”
Ares went back into the house with the others following him. “Are things like this all the time?” he asked without looking at anyone specifically. “The first time I was here the police came looking for Xena. And now bikers?”
“That is why we need your help, to fix her,” Gabrielle told him.
“Okay, let me see,” he said, sitting Xena down in a chair, and from behind her, put his hands on her shoulders.
Chapter Twelve
The Business At Hand
After a short while, Ares took his hands from Xena's shoulders.
“Come here,” he said to Gabrielle.
He then put one hand on her shoulder, a pensive look on his face.
“What are you doing?” she asked him.
“This is a lot more complicated than I thought. I'm trying to deduce what your mental and physical states are so I can decide exactly what needs to be changed in Xena. Now shut up and let me concentrate.”
He then put his other hand on Xena's shoulder and closed his eyes.
“Are you sure you can...?”
“SHUT IT!” he commanded, and continued to concentrate.
Several minutes went by, then he said, “Annie, here.”
Annie walked over to him and he took his hand from Gabrielle's shoulder and put it on Annie's.
“Hmm,” he said almost too quiet to hear.
“Would it help if Aphrodite was here?” Mattie asked.
“NO!” he replied sharply, and continued on, moving his hand from Annie to Gabrielle, and back again several times. After almost a half hour he took his hands from both Xena and Annie and opened his eyes.
“Well?” Gabrielle said. “Did it work? Is she cured?”
“This is going to take much longer than I thought. If you had come to me six months ago, maybe even a year, it would have been SO much easier. But - she is so far gone....”
“GONE! Are you saying you can't do it?” Gabrielle was suddenly verging on hysteria. “She's going to die”
“No, I'm not saying anything like that at all. I'm just saying there is more to this than just a simple wave of my hand.”
“We didn't know there was anything wrong with her six months ago,” Annie explained. “As far as we knew all this started about a month ago.”
“Well, you might not have noticed anything before a month ago, but she has been going down hill a lot longer than that.”
“So now what?” Mattie asked. “You're not going to stop trying, are you?”
“No,” Ares answered, with uncharacteristic tiredness, or indecision, in his voice. “Of course not. I have a son owed to me.”
“What about Ambrosia?” Gabrielle asked hopefully. “What if we could get some of that into her, even just a little bit?”
“Well, you can forget about Ambrosia. There hasn't been any of that around for over a thousand years.”
“Can't you make some?” she desperately wanted to know.
“Sorry. That's the one thing we can't do. Where it came from? Who created it? Just as much a mystery to us gods as to you mortals.”
“Are you sure there is none around? Nowhere?” Hercules finally chimed in.
“If there is, then there is so little of it, and it is so well hidden, it might as well be gone.”
“But if you could get some,” Gabrielle insisted, “then it would cure her?”
“Probably.”
“Would she become a god?”
“I don't know about that,” Ares said. “But there is a chance she could become an immortal demigod of some kind. It would depend on how much she ate.”
Gabrielle thought for a few seconds then said, “Okay, what about those Golden Apples the Norse gods had? They restored your godhood, what if...?”
Ares shook his head. “Sorry, again. From what I understand the Norse gods are gone. They had some kind of Rag-something-or-other. And from all indications, most, if not all of them, were killed. And I'm sure the tree that produced the Golden Apples was destroyed as well.”
Ares looked around at all of them. “So, if there are no more pointless, and endless questions and comments, do any of you mind if I get back to the business at hand - trying to help Xena?”
No one answered, and Ares put his hands on Xena's shoulders again, and closed his eyes, and both he and Xena were so still they both could have been made of stone. Quietly they all went into the living room so they could talk, in whispers, instead of waiting for who knows how long. But no one seemed to have anything to say.
Eventually, Annie put her hand on Hercules' arm and whispered. “So what's next? Another series? More traveling?”
Hercules shrugged his shoulders and whispered back. “My agent said he had several potential guest starring roles in the works.”
“So you're going to keep on acting?”
“Why not? It's fun. I get to travel. I meet a lot of different people. It's an easy way to make a living. And I kind of like it.”
“Well, good luck with it.”
“OKAY! Dammit!”
They heard Ares shout out from the dining room, and they all hurried back in to see what the trouble was.
“I thought I said no distractions!”
“But we were in the living room, whispering,” Annie said.
“Not you. Someone's watching me.”
“But we weren't in here,”
“No. Not any of you. Someone - supernatural. I can feel it. And it's a distraction.”
Ares looked around the room then yelled out, “Alright! Show yourself, I know you're here!”
Chapter Thirteen
Aphrodite Again
Aphrodite appeared with an older man with a long curly beard and hair, wearing a toga over one shoulder, carrying a tall staff with a live serpent coiled around it.
“Everyone,” she said. “I'd like you to meet Asclepius, the God of Healing.”
“What are you doing here?” Ares demanded of Asclepius, who ignored him.
“What is he doing here?” Ares then demanded for Aphrodite to explain.
“You looked like you needed some help,” she replied.
“Wait a minute!” he said to Asclepius, confronting him. “Since when do you come to mortals to heal them?”
“When a special someone asks me to do a special favor,” he answered, with a disconcerting smile at Aphrodite.
But before Ares could say anything else, Asclepius turned to Hercules. “It's good to see you again.”
“Have we ... met before?” Hercules asked, confused.
“Once, many, many years ago, although you probably don't remember it. Right after you strangled those two snakes that Hera sent to kill you when you were a baby, Zeus asked me to look in on you to make sure you were all right.”
“And now,” Asclepius said to Ares while looking at Xena, “let me see what kind of damage you did to her.”
“I was just getting started,” Ares replied, defending himself.
“Like sending a mortal to do a god's job,” he muttered out loud. “Why isn't she lying down? Clear this table!”
The dining room table was quickly cleared and they all helped to lay her down and Gabrielle put a folded up tablecloth under her head.
“Hold this!” Asclepius said, thrusting his staff and serpent at Ares, who hurriedly backed away from the hissing snake with fangs bared. He didn't think the snake's bite could harm him, but why take the chance? So Hercules stepped up and took the staff, and the serpent calmed down as it coiled itself tighter around it, but was watching everyone.
“Open her garment,” Asclepius ordered, and Gabrielle unbuttoned Xena's blouse, exposing her belly and a beige sports bra. He put one hand over her navel, and closed his eyes. He then put his other hand on her forehead.
After a few moments, Gabrielle timidly asked, “Do you need to touch me? Xena and I were both cloned but I seem to be okay.”
The God of Healing took his hand from Xena's forehead and reached out to Gabrielle, who stepped up close enough he could put his hand on her cheek. He nodded his head slightly and made a murmuring sound.
“You need to lie down next to her,” he told Gabrielle, who wasted no time in doing so. Mattie put another folded tablecloth under her head.
“Should I open my blouse?” Gabrielle asked.
He nodded, and as soon as she did, he put his other hand on her belly, after indicating she should move as close to Xena as possible, and then closer still. Gabrielle intertwined the fingers of one hand with Xena's. As the others watched in silence, Gabrielle's eyes closed, then her breathing slowed to match Xena's. No one wanted to say anything that might cause a disruption, and no one wanted to leave in case something happened.
But Ares had had enough, and sensing he was about to leave, Annie touched his arm and indicated he should follow her into the living room.
“What!” he said impatiently, with a bit of anger at being usurped.
“I know I promised you a son, and since Asclepius has taken over, then obviously that won't happen. But if you would promise not to get me pregnant, I will still honor the 'honeymoon night' you wanted.”
“I can have any woman I want. What I want is a son, with Xena, or her descendant - you, to be his mother.”
“Sorry, but we can't always get what we want.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, his anger not quite gone. “Aphrodite!” he said loud enough for her to hear and to come to see what he wanted. “Since you dragged me here on a wasted errand, there is something you can do for me.”
“Sure. Anything, almost.”
“There is a biker bar, somewhere, Hercules can tell you where it is. Why don't you pay it a visit and sweeten up the bikers a bit?”
“Any reason why?”
“No. No real reason. I just don't feel like dealing with them.”
And then he was gone. Then immediately he was back and said to Annie, “When you said you'd give me a son, you said it was to 'sweeten the pot'. So what were you going to originally do?”
Annie gave him a sly, enigmatic smile. “That is rather moot, don't you think? Doesn't make much of a difference now.”
And with a disgusted expletive, Ares disappeared again.
“So what were you going to give him?” Mattie asked.
“I have no idea. I just said that to give him an incentive.”
“But were you really going to let him get you pregnant?”
“Yes. If he could cure Xena, I certainly was.”
Mattie shook her head, still in disbelief. Then they both heard a muted ringing coming from the dining room, and Hercules joined them in the living room, his cell phone at his ear.
“What?” he asked the caller. “Really? Three of them? Three? Well, okay. I'll be there sometime tomorrow evening, or the day after.”
“Good news?” Annie asked.
“Not really. That was my agent. It seems that the suits weren't happy with some of the scenes in the last three episodes, so I have to go back to Vancouver to shoot different ones.”
“Does that happen a lot?” Mattie asked.
“Sometimes it does, sometimes not. But in this case, yes.”
He then looked at Aphrodite. “Do you want me to tell you where that biker bar is?”
“No need,” she replied, then touched his arm. “Now I know where it is, so I will be going also. You take care of yourself.”
“I will,” he answered.
And with a hug for all three of them, she disappeared.
“Don't be a stranger,” Annie told Hercules as she and Mattie walked him to the door. “ Because you know Mattie can track you down.”
He grinned, hugged them both, then drove away. The two women quietly returned to the dining room, where it looked to them that neither Asclepius, nor Xena, nor Gabrielle had moved. Harry, as usual, had retired to his bedroom to talk to Maggie. They returned to living room and sat on the sofa, arms around each other, with the TV on but muted. After almost and hour, Asclepius walked into the living room with his staff and serpent with him, and both women immediately came to their feet.
“It is done,” he reported. “Xena is all but cured of her magical curse. I have slowed their heartbeats to one eighth of normal to allow the healing process to take its course. And they will sleep until their bodies tell them is time for them to awaken.”
“What did you do,” Mattie asked. “to fix her?”
“I have to admit that Ares had the correct idea, but he was not skillful enough to complete the cure. Since they both were brought here by magic, I used Gabrielle's purity as a template to to guide my healing to correct the deliberate corruption done to Xena. And it was helpful that they are true soul mates. Much like yourselves. But now I must go.”
“I don't have the words to thank you,” Annie told him.
“No thanks are needed. As I told Ares, it is a special favor for a special goddess.”
“She is very special,” Mattie agreed. “But still - thank you -- so much!”
Asclepius nodded, then said, “There are so few these days who believe in the gods. That you still recognize our existence is thanks enough.”
And as Ares and Aphrodite before him, he disappeared. Together they went back into the dining room. But after several minutes, since there was nothing to do, they returned to living room and pulled the sofa around so they could be comfortable and still watch for them to wake up. But as the minutes and hours slipped by, they slept. And it was the next morning when they heard noises from the dining room, and rushed in to find both Xena and Gabrielle trying to sit up. Mattie helped Gabrielle and Annie assisted Xena.
“So - how do you feel?” Annie asked both of them.
But they seemed to be disoriented, looking at each other, looking at their hands, touching their faces, and the others' face. Then they looked at each other intently for several seconds, started to speak, but didn't.
“Are you two okay?” Mattie asked, now getting worried something might still be wrong with Xena, or with Gabrielle, or with both of them.
Xena and Gabrielle put their feet on the floor, almost standing, but still leaning against the table. Then Gabrielle said, “I think we need to get Ares back here.”
“Why?” Annie asked, not understanding.
Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other again. And with small smiles on their lips, they looked back at Annie and Mattie, and said together, “Because we are in the wrong bodies.”
THE END