By: Dreams

Disclaimers: Nope, sorry, can't say there are any. All of the characters are mine. I take full responsibility for all of their actions. Hmm ... On second thought ... I've never seen them before in my life. They just followed me home one day ... really ...

Violence/Sex: No violence, I don't think. I guess that would depend on what you mean by "violence" ... I don't think there is any. You can decide for yourself. And sex? Umm ... I'll go on the safe side and say there will be. But don't go suing me for false advertisement if you can't find any. It really depends on what you mean by sex. As there are people in some cultures that show their affection by licking each other's eyeballs, it is possible that my definition of sex may be different than yours. Mine may involve cows in ballet slippers for instance ... wait, that doesn't sound right ...

Warning: This story involves an in-the closet actress, online relationships, Puerto Ricans, the Spanish language, Starbucks coffee, angels, boyfriends, sexual relationships between women .. and a ton of other random things that poured forth from my artistic loins. If none of the above things interest you, then you may not want to partake in this little tour of my demented psyche.

Dedication: to you and you and you you and you .. to people living with living with ... ::notices there are people watching:: Ahem. Sorry. Too much "RENT" for me. Strike that. There can never be too much RENT. Unless it's the kind you have to pay. But my point.. and I do have one .. is that this story is dedicated to you. Thank you for taking the time to delve into my madness. What a brave soul you are .. muahahaha <coughcough>

Special Thanks: To Amber, Cindy, Camilla, Christy, Amy, and Robin. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Write me: Cause I'd love to know what you think. I may be reached at


Adrian ran a hand through his dark hair in frustration. "Can we leave now?" he asked for the umpteenth time since they'd arrived.

Julianne simply grinned, walking over to look at another picture. "Where's your sense of culture, Adrian?" she asked. She motioned to a painting of an undecipherable nature. "I mean, art is ..." She searched for the right adjective.

"Incredibly boring," Adrian finished for her. "Why are we here, anyway? I thought we were going to see a movie."

Julianne shook her head, disappointed by her best friend's attitude. "We can see a movie later. That's all we do, anyway. Watch movies, make movies. I mean, we need to expand our view point." She moved on.

Adrian trailed behind her. "I think the fame is finally starting to gnaw at your senses. After you finish filming Guardian, I think we should get away. Far away."

Julianne perked up as she turned. "I couldn't agree with you more."

"Now see, that's what I like to hear," Adrian replied with an easy smile. "Where do you want to go? Egypt? Greece?"

"New York!" Julianne responded quickly.

Adrian blinked a few times. "But we were just in New York."

Julianne considered. "But there's so much to do!" she argued. "Museums to visit ... parks to walk through ..." People to stalk. She frowned at the thought. I'm losing it. Still frowning, she started walking by several displays.

"She's lost it," Adrian muttered, jogging to catch up. "Jules, is there something going on? Something you want to talk about perhaps?"

Julianne shook her head. "No, let's go catch that movie," she answered, heading toward the exit. What had possessed her to visit a museum, anyway? She instantly recalled Kris's email about going to a museum that day. Well it's not like I'm gonna run into her here. What the hell is wrong with me? "What do you want to see?" she asked, once they'd reached her car.

Adrian stared into Julianne's blue eyes with a mixture of curiosity and utter confusion. She was acting strangely. Something was up. "Whatever," he replied casually, getting into the passenger side of the Rav4. "So, what's been going on with you the past couple of weeks?"

Julianne shrugged nonchalantly. She started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, not entirely sure where to go. She figured she'd stop at the first movie theater she saw. "Nothing. Acting, eating, sleeping. The usual. How's the movie coming along?"

"Excellent," he replied, excitedly. "I really feel I have a chance of winning at Sundance."

Julianne smiled over at him. "That's great, Adrian. I can't wait to see it."

Adrian nodded, pleased with himself. Someday he would be right up there with Julianne picking up an Academy Award. And if he wasn't, well hell, at least she was rising to the top. "So anything else going on?" he asked.

"Well, I've been emailing with this person," she answered, her eyes focused on the road. She was hesitant about bringing up the subject, if only because she knew that Adrian would make a big deal about it. But keeping it secret made it seem like even more of a big deal, and it wasn't.

Now we're getting somewhere, thought Adrian. "And does 'this person' have a name?" he asked.

Julianne glanced at him quickly and smiled. "Her name is Kris," she told him. "And before you get your hopes up, she's got a boyfriend."

"Damn," he said. "Can't you find me a single one?"


Adrian considered this new information. "So, she's got a boyfriend. Where is she from? How did you meet her?"

Julianne hesitated. "I got her email from the business card you tossed at me. I wanted to tell her how much I liked her drawing. Then we just kept emailing. She's really nice."

Ah-hah! Bingo. Of course Julianne would pick a straight girl who lives on the other side of the country. Talk about playing it safe. "I'm glad you've got a new friend," he replied. He stifled a sigh. For some reason, he had an impending sense of doom.

* * *

Dear Kris,

I hope you found the solace you sought today, amidst the endless rows of paintings and sculptures. I'm glad you enjoyed the sunrise. I missed it when I was in New York. Maybe on my next trip.

I know what you mean about being defined by one's career. It's like you aren't even yourself anymore. You're so-and-so, the architect or whatever profession you decide (or fall into). Kind of depressing. Now you've bummed me out :o)

So tell me something that nobody knows about you.

Your friend,


* * *

Kiara touched her fingers to the water, watching the ripples closely as if waiting for something magical to occur. But the liquid stilled momentarily and the angel looked away.

Sighing, she glanced at the one who held her future in his hands. "Cody," she whispered.

He turned suddenly, looking about, certain he'd heard his name. His eyes narrowed. "Who's there?"

The silence of the night answered him. He stepped away from the water's edge. He visited the lake frequently now. It made him feel closer to those he'd lost. He opened his mouth, then started laughing. "Sorry, I forgot my next line."

"Cut!" Gina Loeb yelled, and not for the first time. "Max, for the billionth time, you don't have a line there."

Julianne rolled her eyes. Why they'd cast Max Trouy was beyond her. He was nice looking and all but the boy couldn't act if his life depended on it. They'd gone through ten takes of the same exact scene and Julianne was exasperated.

Max nodded. "Sorry," he apologized.

Gina sighed, going through some of her notes for the scene. She looked up. "Let's break for lunch," she announced.

Julianne sent a silent prayer of appreciation to whomever was listening and headed to her trailer. Three envelopes awaited her arrival. She hadn't read any more of her fan mails since the first three she'd opened. They all rested in her drawer now, collecting dust. The three new ones joined the others.

She slipped out of her wings and collapsed on the couch with a sigh. "What a day. And it's not even half over." She grabbed her laptop. "Please cheer me up, Kris," she pleaded with the screen as she waited for her e-mail to load. A slow smile crept across her lips as she saw the new message in her inbox.

Dear Julia,

Something that nobody knows about me? I hope this doesn't come back and bite me in the butt. If I start getting notes saying, "I know what you did last summer," I'm coming after you. ;)

Let me think. Okay I'll tell you. Nobody knows this. Not even Leigh. But I cheated on Nathan a few months ago. It was really stupid. I was at this party at the dorms in NYU and there was this guy there. And I think I had a little too much to drink cause he started looking really good, even though I see him now and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Anyway, I made out with him. I never told anyone!! I feel so horrible about it, too. I don't know what happened. Nathan and I had gotten into a fight and I just felt really depressed ....

But that's no excuse. Maybe someday I'll stop feeling guilty about it, but that's doubtful.

What's something nobody knows about you? Now that I've bared my soul to you :) Oh! And what do you look for in a guy? I'm curious.

Your friend,


Julianne frowned at the last paragraph. I could answer truthfully and kill two birds with one stone. Or I could lie. She thought it over. Kris didn't know who she was so it didn't matter if she knew anything personal about her. On the other hand, if Kris found out, she could let it slip out to the media. But who'd believe her? She's got the emails... But who'd believe her? You can always tell Nathan that his girlfriend cheated on him.

She sighed, staring at the blank reply box.

A knock at the door interrupted her decision-making. "Yeah?" she called.

"Your lunch, Ms. Franqui," one of the crew's gophers said awkwardly. He stood at the doorway holding a paper bag and a bottle of water.

Julianne nodded to the table at her right. "Just put it there." She glanced back down at the computer screen.

The guy obeyed her wishes and left without another word.

Alone once more, Julianne chewed on her lip. You've been honest with her so far, if you start lying now, what's the point of keeping the friendship?

Dear Kris,

I promise you won't receive any creepy notesˇat least not from me. I don't think you should feel so guilty about what happened with the other guy. Those things happen. Besides, you're young ...

Julianne stopped writing and frowned. "What the hell am I? Her mother?" She deleted the last two sentences and continued.

I also promise not to tell anyone about your little secret. Even if CNN knocks down my door and tortures me for hours on end, I will not divulge any information pertaining to your little rendezvous at the NYU dorms. :o)

But seriously, thank you for trusting me with the information. I'm sure it's due in part to the fact that we don't know each other, so you feel safe. But by the same token, you don't know me. For all you know, I could be Nathan in disguise. Hey, don't worry, I'm not. ;o)

As for me, well ... I've got a secret. But one person does know about it, so I suppose that nulls the whole 'nobody knows' aspect of the request. Still, I think it's something you should know.

Julianne stared at the screen, uncertain of how to proceed. "What do I write exactly?" she wondered out loud. "I'm gay? I'm a lesbian? I'm a homosexual? Flaming dyke?" She slapped her forehead. "Why is it so hard to come out?"

She took a deep breath.

I like women.

"A lot," she added to herself.

Guys, not so much. At least not sexually. My best friend is a guy and I love him to death. He's just .. not my type. So I guess that answers your question as to what I look for in a guy.

I hope the news doesn't freak you out ...

Your friend,


Her finger hovered over the 'enter' button. What do I have to lose? It's not like we're best friends or anything...

Still, she hesitated.

"You are a coward," she said to herself. And before she could change her mind, hit send.


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