Back to the Beginning
I have ridden out here alone
I it is a bit more overgrown than it was but I know this is the place.
I remember it as if it were yesterday.
Here is the patch of ground where I buried my past
This is the place I had come to my end of the road.
I knew myself, knew I could not change.
Here is where I would end it all.
He thought he was saving me, telling me that he could see the good in me.
After hed pointed it out, all I could feel was anguish and a deep sadness.
No one would forgive me. I couldnt forgive myself.
How could I atone? How?
Then Id heard a noise, hidden behind a tree,
and something happened that changed my life.
A gang of bloodthirsty scum had rounded up the women of a nearby town.
I hesitated, didnt want to get involved, until I saw her.
She was a pint sized spitfire, offering herself to spare another.
I acted before I thought. It was one of the stupidest moves I had ever made.
I had no weapons; I only wore a shift --
but there was something about that girl.
With her aid, I saved them all.
She wanted to come with me.
That made me laugh. I turned her down.
I didnt know shed followed me.
I had been right all along, I couldnt overcome my past.
My family and the people of my town turned me away
with hatred and with stones. I let the stones hit me.
I didnt care if I lived or died that day.
Amazingly, she did. The girl. The spitfire.
She had followed me and she saved me.
I shake my head. I wonder how long Ive been sitting here.
Argo shifts under me and I come back to the present.
"Okay, Girl," I reach down to pat her neck
and turn her towards Potadeia.
There, leaning against a tree,
her staff held in the crook of her elbow, is Gabrielle, the little spitfire herself,
grown now into a strong and beautiful woman.
I nudge Argo, who trots over to her.
She smiles up at me, scratches Argos ear and holds up her arm.
I lean, pull her up and settle her in front of me, holding her tight.
She grabs my hand, kisses it, wont let go.
Good. Neither do I. I will hold her and love her forever.
She is my redeemer, my salvation, my partner.
She is my life.
© Ellie Maziekien