An icy feeling comes over me as I sit alone

It is not the deep cold of the Winter wind,

although it blows, chilly and damp around me.

It is the frozen state of my soul.

A dark depression settles over me as I

again review the deeds that made me

The Destroyer of Nations.

How can I atone??

Nothing can undo what I have done.

My throat is raw from swallowing tears

And finally, bitterly, they come.

The thought that pierces my heart comes

to my mind unbidden.

She loves a lie.

The woman she loves, the do-gooder, the champion,

is a sham.

A fake.

How can she love me?



I did not follow her this time

because I know she needs to be alone.

Impossible though it seems, she gets more quiet,

Until I feel like I'm babbling to compensate.

That look comes into her eyes and they change

from blue to a somber gray.

I know that she is hurting, and that I cannot

take the hurt away.

I can only be here for her when she returns,

and, accepting all she was and is,

show her that she is worth loving, worth saving.

Worth everything to me.


She has fallen asleep waiting for me,

sitting up against Argo's saddle.

I tried not to wake her but -

those eyes are on me now.

She doesn't say a word but fits herself

against me and starts a slow caressing.

I wonder, does she know how her touch heals me?

Now she whispers, her lips on mine,

words I desperately need to hear.

Tears fall and she catches them on her tongue.

I brokenly tell her not to love me,

but she hushes me.

Tenderly, she cradles me in her arms.

The iciness in my heart fades,

exchanged for the warmth

that is my Gabrielle.

Ellie Maziekien


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