See Part 1 for warnings and info...
Copyright © 2013 Geonn Cannon
Part III
Kathryn woke on the floor, legs tangled with Eva's. Her heart leapt, rattling in her chest when she realized where she was and what the darkness meant. She was late. She was with her mistress. She made no move to pull away, because Eva was sleeping right in front of her. Naked Eva, with dried sweat from their lovemaking sticky on her shoulder. Moving as little as possible, Kathryn looked down her friend's body. She was loosely draped by the blanket, which revealed her spine and the curve of her butt.
For a moment she wished her camera was within reach, and that the light was better. But then she touched Eva's arm and watched the goosebumps erupt, and she was glad the camera was missing. Cameras preserved moments for the future, but Kathryn wanted to keep this one right here, trapped in the ether of her memory. This moment was just for her.
She leaned in and kissed the back of Eva's neck before snuggling against her again. Spooned on the floor of Eva's living room, knowing full well that she was already late and facing an unpredictable retribution, she closed her eyes and let herself fall back to sleep.
#
Kathryn was momentarily confused when she opened her eyes. Not about where she was or what she had done; that was still firmly in her mind thanks to Eva's scent all around her, the hard floor under her back, and the soreness between her legs that was the result of multiple orgasms. She was still naked on the floor of Eva's living room, with Eva curled naked against her. Her confusion came from waking out of a deep and restful slumber. She hadn't gotten up to pee, she hadn't woken at three in the morning to toss and turn for an hour. She had simply slept. And considering the fact they had fallen asleep at sunset...
She searched for a clock she could read without moving and finally found one on the wall above the kitchen doorway. Four-thirty, which meant they had slept for ten hours. She'd never slept for ten solid hours, not even as a teenager. She looked down at the woman who had prompted maybe the first truly restful slumber of her life and felt a surge of emotion in her chest. Eva was absolutely gorgeous in repose, eyelids fluttering ever-so-slightly and lips parted just enough to see her teeth. The tension was gone from her face, revealing the true extent of her beauty.
Kathryn brushed her thumb over Eva's cheek, and Eva's face shifted. She blinked slowly, opened her eyes to see her face was pillowed by Kathryn's chest, and then pushed back just enough that they could look into each other's faces.
"It happened."
Kathryn nodded. "Are you upset?"
"I'd only be upset if I woke up and found out it was a dream again."
"Again?"
Eva smiled. "Yeah."
"You dream about me?"
"A lot."
They kissed, and Kathryn traced the shell of Eva's ear with her thumb. Eva pecked the corners of Kathryn's mouth.
"Are you upset?" Eva asked. "Considering--"
Kathryn used her left thumb to stroke the ring on the third finger. She considered the question for a long moment, knowing Eva wanted a sincere answer rather than the knee-jerk response. Finally she wet her lips.
"My husband hates me."
Eva's shock was apparent. "That's... he couldn't."
"He does. I don't blame him." She looked down and laced the fingers of her right hand with Eva's. "We met in high school. He was a baseball phenom, definitely going places. College, the major league... He had his pick of girls, and I wanted to be one of them so badly. He was pristine and beautiful and I wanted him to want me. And one night he chose me. We fooled around a couple of times, and then halfway through senior year... I missed my period. We panicked, of course, and finally he decided to do the right thing. We got a GED, we got married, he decided against college and got a job working at a supermarket to support me and the baby.
"Then I miscarried on our second-month anniversary. It was only four months after I saw the plus-sign in the test, but it was enough time to completely derail him. He'd dropped out, and the big colleges had moved on to other prospects. He'd have to wait a year before they'd even consider signing him up, and by then he'd be so out of practice that it would just be a mockery."
Eva's brow was furrowed. "He still could have just left you if he blamed you."
Kathryn smiled sadly. "I offered to leave him, but he refused. He wasn't the golden boy anymore. No prospects. Eighteen and married. Baseball had shut the door on him, and women weren't exactly lining up at his door anymore. Suddenly I was the best he could hope for, so he wasn't about to let me go. The first couple of years we tried to get pregnant again, but it never worked. Eventually I got a check-up and the doc... the doctor said it wasn't going to happen. I'd never carry a baby to term."
Eva touched Kathryn's cheek.
"He gave up his entire life for a baby that never appeared. There was evidence, I mean, I'd started to show and there were doctor visits and... h-he knew I hadn't just made it up to trap him. But he still felt trapped. I couldn't blame him. It was my fault his life had been ruined. I have to stay, to make amends."
"Forever? You have to throw away your life and your wants just because you made a mistake a long time ago. You can't still be living in the shadow of that miscarriage."
Kathryn shook her head. "No. But we've been together so long that new resentments and new obligations have built themselves on that foundation. It's a brick wall, and it's all around us. We can't get free even if we wanted to. We're stuck with each other." She kissed Eva between the eyes and then lowered to kiss her lips. "Thank you for giving me a window, though."
"Of course."
"Will you make love to me again?"
"Yes," Eva whispered. She moved her hand down Kathryn's body. Kathryn closed her eyes at the gentle touch, goosebumps rising in the wake of her finger until two fingers extended over her labia and began to stroke. Kathryn put her arms around Eva's shoulders and rocked against her, grunting quietly as Eva pushed inside of her. Eva tilted her head and pressed her lips to Kathryn's throat, feeling her heartbeat against her lips.
Kathryn raked her fingers along Eva's shoulder when she came, gasping and baring her teeth as she tightened around Eva's fingers.
"I've never come so many times in a single night. Maybe in my entire life to date."
Eva stroked her hair out of her face. "That's so sad. I'll have to make up for lost time." Her face changed as a thought dawned on her. "If... this happens again, I mean. Kathryn, if you want this to just be a one-time thing, I can deal with--"
" No. " Kathryn sat up and threw her leg over Eva's, straddling her as she covered Eva's body with her own. "Please. No. Please tell me we'll do this again."
"Your husband..."
Kathryn shook her head. "That's my problem. Please, Eva, I have to hear you say it."
Eva watched Kathryn for signs that she was wavering, but she saw nothing. She rolled onto her back, Kathryn's sex warm against her belly. She took Kathryn's hands in her own and brought them to her lips to kiss each finger individually, then looked up into her eyes.
"We'll do this again."
Kathryn let loose the breath she'd been holding and closed her eyes. "Thank you." She let the moment linger, and then shifted her weight. "I think I owe you an orgasm..."
Eva smiled. "It's not a game of balance."
"Still... I'd feel guilty all day." She smiled and slid down Eva's body, kneeling on the floor and lifting Eva's legs onto her shoulders. She looked down at the tangled wet curls, the pink lips glistening between her thighs. She looked back up into Eva's eyes. "Tell me if I'm doing it wrong. I'm still pretty new at this."
"I think you'll do fine."
Kathryn crossed her fingers and wet her lips as she bowed her head.
#
Kathryn finally checked her phone while Eva was in the shower. Five missed calls from Joseph, no messages. The last call had come at a little past ten the night before, which meant he'd given up at least two hours before he went to sleep. She didn't know how she felt about that. She hadn't come home, hadn't called, wasn't answering her phone... surely he must have been a little bit worried. He had to have at least wondered where she was.
Eva came out of the bathroom in a robe. As odd as it had been to see her nude for the first time, Kathryn now thought it was odd to see her wearing clothes. She turned off her phone and stood up, going to her new lover and kissing her passionately. Her breath tasted like toothpaste and mouthwash, and Kathryn enjoyed the tingle on her lips when she pulled back.
"Um." She kept her eyes closed, then shook her head to clear her thoughts. "The, uh, shower's free. I saved you some hot water."
"Thank you," Kathryn said.
"Sure."
"Not for the hot water."
Eva's eyes softened and her smile widened. "I know."
Kathryn kissed her again before reluctantly pulling away. She went into the bathroom, undid the sheet that had served her as a toga, and stepped into the bath. The room smelled distinctly of Eva; her body wash and shampoo and perfume. It was aromatherapy, and she held the bar of soap in front of her face and breathed deeply as the shower washed away the sweat and other residue from her body. All the evidence she and Eva had spent the night together swirled down the drain, and while she knew it was necessary, she wished she could have gone through the day reeking of what they'd done. She didn't care if anyone else thought she smelled; she wanted to have Eva's fingerprints on her just a little longer.
She finally got out of the shower and toweled off. Clean panties, a pair of artfully ripped jeans, and a lilac blouse were folded next to the sink, and Kathryn rested her hand on top of the pile as she realized what they meant. Eva had gathered the clothes for her so she wouldn't have to go home in yesterday's outfit, then silently slipped into the bathroom and left them on the sink without alerting Kathryn to her presence.
How could one tiny act, such a casual thing, be more intimate than anything in nearly three decades of marriage?
She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her makeup wiped away and her hair slicked back against her skull. She suddenly knew that Eva was the universe giving her a chance. Eva was her way out. She could take the opportunity to escape, or she could let it pass by and accept that Joseph would be the rest of her life.
She dressed, well aware that the panties belonged to Eva as she put them on. They were snug, but they would suffice until she got home and could change into her own. She looked at her reflection again, dragging her middle finger over the crotch of the panties and pressing it against the lips of her sex. She closed her eyes at the soft stroking touch, biting her bottom lip, smiling as she thought about masturbating in the panties and giving them back to Eva unwashed.
Kathryn laughed at herself and took the jeans, slipping them on and sucking in a breath to get them buttoned. Tight again. Eva really was a puny little thing, she decided. She tried on the shirt but took it off before she buttoned it. She carried it back into the living room, hardly aware she was topless until Eva's eyes dropped to her breasts. She blushed and used the shirt to conceal herself.
"This isn't going to work. I'm a little more... top-heavy than you are."
"Oh. Right... I have a T-shirt."
She brushed past Kathryn on her way to the bedroom and returned with an Old Navy pocket shirt. Kathryn swapped her for the blouse, then pulled the T-shirt over her head. Still tight, and she felt as if her breasts were somehow more on display than they'd been when she was topless, but again it would get her home. She wet her lips and looked at her shoes across the room. When she put on her shoes, it would mean she was leaving. It would mean this first night was over. Even if they were planning to do it again, the first night would never be duplicated.
"Do you want some breakf--"
"Yes, God."
Eva laughed. She stepped forward, her bare toes resting on top of Kathryn's, and she kissed her. Kathryn pushed her hand under Eva's hair to cup the back of her head. Her stomach trembled and flipped, and she touched her tongue to Eva's top lip before she pulled back.
"I'll go see what I can throw together."
"Okay."
Kathryn watched her go, eyeing her ass without forcing herself to quantify it as anything other than a leer, then followed her into the kitchen.
#
The house was silent and still when Kathryn got home. She called Joseph's name from the front hall, then wandered through the house to find evidence of how he'd spent the evening. A Pizza Hut box was standing on the stove, open to reveal the majority of the pizza was gone with only the crusts remaining to show they had ever existed. The trash can had at least four beer cans that hadn't been there the day before. When she turned on the TV, it was on a blocked channel with an on-screen prompt suggesting she pay to continue watching. She wrinkled her nose and turned away from the set. She supposed she couldn't fault him for watching porn when she'd been across town fucking another woman.
The thought hit her like a slap, so strange and alien in such a familiar environment. She'd spent the night with someone else. Making love, holding... a woman. She had broken her vows. She walked to the couch and dropped onto the edge of the cushion and put her hands over her face. Joseph had never cheated on her. She knew he would have lorded it over her during one fight or another if he had. Having easy access to her body whenever he wanted seemed to be the only thing about the marriage he still enjoyed.
Not that she enjoyed it. And didn't she deserve a little sexual happiness? In thirty goddamn years, didn't she deserve to have an orgasm that blew off the top of her head? Didn't she deserve to be with someone who could make her heart swim just by looking at her? She deserved to be with someone she lov--
She dropped her hand to her mouth as if she'd almost said the word out loud. She stood up and walked into the bedroom. The bed was unmade, of course, and looked as if it had been torn apart by wild animals. She sighed and shook her head as she shed Eva's clothes. She folded them neatly and then took off the panties with great reluctance. She found an outfit in the closet and dressed for the second time that day, only this time it didn't feel like she was putting on a costume. She buttoned her sweater, tucked it into the jeans that hugged her hips like they had been tailored, and pinned her hair back. She looked at herself in the mirror, and she saw Eva's clothes on the bed behind her.
Housewife. Wife. That was who she was, no matter who she had been the night before. She turned off the bedroom light and took out her phone as she went into the living room. She dialed Joseph's number and stood in front of the television as it rang. She counted the rings and knew it was one away from jumping to voicemail when he responded.
"Look who decided to show up."
The devil in her shoulder whispered that she should disguise her voice and say something shocking. " Mr. Tramonto, this is the Puerta de Sol Police Department. We found this phone at a crime scene. Have you seen your wife today? "
Instead, she meekly said, "Hi, Joe. I'm sorry about last night, I--"
"Where the fuck were you?"
She closed her eyes. I was just about to fucking tell you where I was. "I was with a friend from photography class. We were working on a project and she said I could use her darkroom to develop some of my pictures. By the time we were finished I was so exhausted I didn't even check my phone. I just passed out on her couch."
"I was worried sick about you."
She picked up the remote control, accessed the interactive guide, and checked to see when he had bought the porn. 11:49, almost two hours after he'd stopped calling to see where she was. Yeah, you were real goddamn worried, weren't you? "I'm sorry, Joey. It won't happen again, I promise. I was just so caught up in the pictures and the developing, time just completely got away from me."
"Well, I hope you had fun while I was home worried sick."
I did have fun, and I had the most mind-blowing orgasm I've ever had. I ate a woman's pussy, you fucker, and she went down on me, and she made me come. She made me come like you never have. What do you think about that? Aloud: "I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it, Joseph? I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry." Her eyes widened, surprised at herself.
"Don't talk to me that way."
"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. My back hurts from sleeping on the f... fucking couch all night." She swallowed, glad she'd caught herself before she said 'floor.'
"Good thing you don't have a real job to go to today."
Kathryn closed her eyes and tightened her grip on both the phone and the remote control. Her thought I don't love you was quickly followed by I hate you . "Right."
"I was feeling like meatloaf last night. Maybe you could make up for that tonight."
"Sure."
"And then maybe dessert."
She cringed at the thought of being with him so soon after being with Eva. The idea made her skin crawl, as if sleeping with Joseph was the infidelity. "I'd like that."
"Okay."
She started to say "I love you" out of tradition and habit, but the click of a disconnected line interrupted her. She stared at the phone, then disconnected. The battery was dangerously low, so she went to the charger and plugged it in. She went to the bedroom and stared at the tangle of unmade sheets, then picked up Eva's panties and balled them into her fist as she walked out of the room. She couldn't sleep in that man's bed, not today.
Instead she stretched out on the couch, the hand with Eva's underwear up near her face like a section of security blanket.
#
Eva smoothed her hair down, tying it into a bun at the nape of her neck. She wore the standard navy-blue polo shirt with the department's insignia on the breast tucked into tan khakis. The windbreaker identifying her as a member of the crime scene unit hung on a peg behind her as she finished with her hair and shut the locker door. Deacon James came in with his duffel bag and placed it on the bench next to her, offering a perfunctory hello before he looked at her again.
"Whoo," he said as he spun in his locker combination. "Someone got lucky last night. What was her name?"
Eva looked at him and then quickly looked away. "Not important. What, you can tell?"
He put his hands on her shoulders and gave a quick, rough massage. Anyone else would have pulled back a few broken fingers, but Eva and Deacon were close enough that she accepted the abuse like any little sister would. He patted the side of her head.
"You're lighter, Alvarez. Less bunched up. And you're glowing. Whoever it was, they must've been great. Hope you kept the escort service's number."
"I was hoping you'd be able to give me her personal number."
"Why would I know her number?"
"What kind of son doesn't know his own mama's number?"
He swatted at her but she easily evaded his blow. She double-tapped him on the back of the head, stepping over the bench to get past him. Once she was out of his sight she took a detour into the bathroom. She rested her hands on the sink and stared at herself, trying to spot the differences Deacon had seen at a glance. She touched her cheek with her fingers and brushed her thumb over her lip. Could being with Kathryn really change her on such a fundamental level? That someone could look at her and know something had occurred the night before?
She thought it was a definite yes. She'd been with women before, women she'd harbored crushes on, and none of those times had felt like it did with Kathryn. So many of her relationships felt like work, like building a house of cards. With Kathryn it felt like the house was already there and all she had to do was not knock it over.
#
Joseph got home at his usual time in the afternoon and immediately took Kathryn's hand to take her into the bedroom. She let him take off her clothes, grateful that she'd already put Eva's clothes aside to be returned. He put her facedown on the bed and she hugged the pillow as he did what he had to do. She stared at the wall, moving against him when prompted, grunting with feigned pleasure so he wouldn't start moving faster. He pulled out of her and finished in the small of her back, making her feel used and dirty until she could grab a towel and clean it away.
"Did you finish?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Good," he grunted. "Did you start the meatloaf?"
"And mashed potatoes. They should be ready in about half an hour."
"Good. Good." He pulled his pants back on and walked out of the bedroom. She was glad he hadn't made her put him in her mouth; the taste always made her vaguely ill, and today of all days she knew she wouldn't have been able to hide her disgust. She went to the bathroom to wet her towel, giving the stain in the middle of her back another scrubbing. She could still feel it there and wanted it gone before she put her shirt and pants back on.
How could she have thought that was sex? All this time, she'd been calling it by that name only to find out the real thing was a completely different animal. She dried off her back, finally feeling clean again, and dressed for the third time that day. When she passed through the living room Joseph was watching the local news on mute waiting for the sports to start. There had been a car accident at noon, and Kathryn paused when they showed a shot of the scene.
A few feet behind the mangled wreck, a woman in khakis and a blue windbreaker was bent forward with a camera held to her face to snap a picture of the asphalt. Her hair was tied back in a bun, but it was undeniably her. She was only on-screen for about three seconds, and even then she was just in the background of a police official talking about the involvement of alcohol, but to Kathryn she had taken up the entire screen.
"You make a better door than a window."
She stepped away from the TV without responding to his comment, going into the kitchen to check on their dinner. Her heart was in her throat, and she had to tuck her hands under her arms to keep them from shaking. She caught her reflection in the mirror on the door of the fridge and saw that she was smiling.
When she was serving up the food, Joseph came into the kitchen to get a beer. He looked at her - and only then did she realize that was the first time he'd actually looked at her since coming home - and swatted her on the ass. "You look like one well-fucked woman."
"I am."
He chuckled as he popped the top of his beer and walked back into the living room.
"For the first time ever," she said without giving sound to the words as she mouthed them. "And it wasn't you."
She added the mashed potatoes, then poured a dollop of ketchup onto the meat. She carried the plate into the living room and held it out to him. She thought of a dozen... a hundred things she wanted to say to him. The meek and eager-to-please part of her wanted to plead. If you'll just do this, or this, or this, maybe I would stay. But she silenced that voice because she knew she was going to stay with him no matter what. She wasn't going to throw away her marriage.
And she wasn't going to give up Eva. She couldn't, not after what they'd shared. If that made her a cheater and an adulteress, so be it. She could live with the label if it meant having Eva in her life. She went back into the kitchen to prepare her dinner, the first meal of her double life. She expected it to taste like ashes, anticipated the meal sitting like a stone in her stomach, weighed down by her guilt and shame.
The meat was delicious and succulent, and the mashed potatoes were divine. Afterward she thought it was perhaps the best meal she'd ever eaten.