To my daughter Jessica and son Edward ,who encouraged me to write this book
For Lucy Lawless and Renne O'Connor .
Back in the renaissance , a warrior woman by the name of Xena and her sidekick
amazon Princess Gabrielle became
legends ,stories of their battles echoe through the small villages and towns , but who were they.
Xena was born to a stern Mother, who just wanted Xena to settle down ,raise
a family, but Xena needed to rid her
wild free style,riding among the war lords at their best.
Xena sailed almost the seven sea's , from China to Rome , through her travels,
she wined and dined with the best ,
King's, Queen's , a Prince or two , but one man she was to have a love ,hate relationship , he was known as the Rose
of Rome , they were going to conquer and head
Rome and the world , untill his betrayal .
The beach grew cold , as the wind started to soar with darkening shadows
striving to hang on ,along with her band of men,
feeling a confusing hurt ,as ice blue loving eye's turn
a shade of cold gray,
a storming begining of a peaceful end,
while the sand battles against the ocean pretending to be a furious sea,
Xena's fate was to thrive on revenging life.
The clouds become a shade dim,
an overcast of fear started to become clear, staring hopless
upon the wooden cross, looking downward
bending pride ,
water sprinkles above,
a single formation down my half warm cheek's
over the cross,the crying cross.
Fear's upon my numbing body,
trace's of lost day's flash across half frozen eye's,
voice's, running wild,
my brother teasing me, climbing tree's,
fishing in cold water streams,
Mother punishing me, then holding me as never letting go.
Fear's tear's slowly tringle like melting mountainous snow
crystalizing upon cool mirrored rippling water's.
Xena was out to get Caesar for betraying her and taking her love .
Your mannerly evil charm caused a deep attraction,
mistaken for love, thinking you were the conquerer from heaven,
not concieved by the pitts of unholy hell,
using me as a pawn in a vengeful game of human chess,
my never ending hate grew ,voweling to destroy the being of you.
Xena ,born to a loving stern Mother, walked away seeking herself , not fame
drawing a tarnished sword toward humanity and religious fate, for friendship hurt's,
rejected by the village clan, for fearing her warrior way's , the battle cry setting
friend's aside, as emenies arise to their feet at a chance to winning defeat with
Xena, the outsider, Princess Warrior.
Starting out life innocent as a sleeping child warm and soft
laying against it's Mother's chest.
Running free, fishing in muddy creeks, like a tomboy
The teen youth within me began to roar, the lost little girl was
disapearing soaring for adventures beyond once mellow blue
sky like eye's.
Gentle turning twisting nature up from the calm
greenish swirling sea,
there was she with a savagness pumping my vain's.
Returning to mildness spreading comfort
outraging the true meaning of me.
Blood dripping off the sword,
dropping from trembling hands,
going from intensely cold to semi bittersweet.
cheering my name, while other's curse it in vain
spitting on every verb.
Challeging to see if
I'm still the same
burning old lustful untimely flame,
reliving love sin's ,unquestionable trade.
The shame of Xena was known across the land , from burnt out villages to
trailing warrior's she used as one night stands , as her Mother held a loving
Reaching out toward a friend , coming forth , turning slowly away,
a slap in the face , emptiness downward eye's , child to woman,
feeling shame for one indifferent as me .
surving many battles,
riding in like a lioness after her captive young.
stumbling ,feeling like a caged creature digging deeper and deeper
to be free,far from the words leading to
unfullfilled anger ,injustice hate.
Yesterday's fear's come to my semi
shattered tear stained heart ,
wanting to be wild,independent free,
yet longing for Mother's arms,
toward the scared little girl hiding in the woman,
I grown to be.
Xena seemed to stumble through life with no meaning or knowledge,
just the wildness of inner acting youth, scoring to be a somebody,
leaving unforeseen scare's.
Sounds of war,
horse's hoove's thundering ,
warrior's clashing sword's toward eacother and their war lord's,
out cry's of victory are heard ,of those who have the most standing men,
fighting a seemly unimportant war,brother against brother, Father against son,
toward the line of ever lasting greed.
Riding my way through the future's light,
distant sound's of wailing and cry's from women and childern
for lost husband's ,son's and Father's they will never see,
shadow's of nameless face's ,the gray smoke of battles sight.
A thousand yesterday's have come and past,
taking the half darken soul of a young female warrior.
Running away ,turning from you, needing to face
a more different world my eye's and wild heart could see.
Another Xena had risen , unlike the little girl you raised,
feeling's had to break free,
that Xena caused you much heartache and shame.
Mom, sorry for those bad time's and what I put you through.
She is surrounded by and given love
greeted and welcomed to her circle by a semi cold heart,
a warmth you can't touch,
A woman , Mother, partner for someone to endore their life
beneath the surface enter's a furious child
in her shy world, closure life style,
affraid to let the warmth of love and friend's to far in.
As Xena listen's to those crying for lost loved one's , she has an understanding of loss,
for she lost her brother Lycia in battle , her lover Borias , her son Solan .
There isn't a day ,that I don't feel your presence,
touch of your hand in mine,
my brother with shining caring eye's ,
remembering watching over you when Dad left,
going fishing, swiming , seeing who could climb the highest tree.
Lycia, in bad time's often thinking of you,
forgive and believe that I never intended to hurt you ,
no matter who caused the attack taking you away from me and Mom.
quiet and shy,
gentle eye's ,caring smile
reaching out, giving a piece of warmth,
loving you, never to hurt you,
my brave young brother,
all I could do is give you a tearful sisterly goodbye with an
unforgiving cold soul.
the dark day's of yure
lost , from a wide eyed child to a wonderous teen ,
to a woman riding a rough trail,
from child to woman
blinded in a cloud of
Nothing stay's the same, thinking of you ,
I'm the one you couldn't tame,
making a good team , fighting what seemed like the world
toward justice , revenge ,bitter passion for power over riding our
true verture of unseemly love.
Your over bearing strong force of love
drew me to you in the whir wind of merging war,
a love beneath was true , a son I gave to you,
your life was over , when his had begun, never knowing
the touch of parental love,
Solan our fair haired son.
You were my tall dark handsome warrior ,
discovering me in the high season of desiring war,
fighting beside you, somehow an attacking , attracting
fondness grew, exciting me with a smile.
Treating me as an equal,
not quite the woman of your dream's,
sometime's fighting like cycling wildcat's with you leaving
only to come back.
My tall strong warrior,
our so called admiration and love was silent inside,
touching me with cold warm eye's ,
gentle hard , feeling you living entangled across the back of my mind.
We ran ,riding hard across the widening globe, watching those run and crawl
in defeat ,scared of us and our band of cutthroat men,
joying the firery beam of your eye's when I used to take command ,
raising my head and hand in pride,
Borias , thank you for discovering me , giving up your loving heart to me,
putting up with me, when I turned against you, but most of all thank you
for giving me a son.
Not being able to deal with the loss of Borias and due to her lifestyle ,
Xena gave up Solan.
Not ready for a child , arriving in the mist of ugly time's ,
holding you feeling like half a Mother ,seeking a close distance,
giving you up,for it felt like the right thing to do at the time,
walking away half loving you for a moment ,then it slowly grew as a
Mother's love is instilled .
Your Father Borias was a strong gentle warrior, he as well as me
wanted a better world for you,
Solan, Borias ,your Father and my true loving one.
You knew me as a friend ,visiting you,my heart would boast with pride ,
thanking your Father a believer of human rights ,for discovering Xena,
your Mother,a self centered heartless Princess of a warrior,whom you
learned gave birth to you,when it was to late.
you slipped away to quickly through my crying loving arm's as loud
wrenching scream's were heard.
My fair haired son,
strong and brave ,sorry I gave you up
to the day
concieved through strength and power
over blinding true feelings of unknown love
among the greedful world of war.
Xena was to have another child after her second coming ,she was to be a savior a
division of new faith ,evil and goodness .
Upon my second begining into this sometime's inhuman mystic world,
the concieving of you was placed inside,not by the God's ,but higher faith,
you were to be the reincarnation of non evil in pure human form,
a willing innocence ,holding the key to a darkening time for the inmoral God's.
Motherhood ,it wasn't really me,once a warrior ,alway's,
but there you were in my arm's, a helpless being,
couldn't turn away.
My heart filled with pride,as Gabrielle gave her right of cast to you ,
making you a member of the Amazon clan.
one day you will break free from my so called loving arm's,
which path will you chose,
think before drawing the sword and making the final strike
venging for or against the crossing line of human right's.
You were an untimely surprise to darkening time ,
the mist of many battles ,you cried and laughed your way through,
being scared and proud of you.
Holding you among the quietness ,as giggling baby smile's tugg
at my heart ,not wanting to see lost youth breaking the Mother's
loving chain ,replacing it with a silent concerning prayer from a
helpless child to half righted womanhood.
The firery passion's grow wild within your eye's,
a new path wait's ,child is lost.
Xena taught Gabrielle how to protect herself ,when battling conflect's occured,
Gabrielle showed Xena to forgive and erase the hidden darkness of those yesterday's
surfacing a warmth of humanity from a semi cold heart and dusty tear's beneath blue
Xena,woman of the sword,her shadowed echoe battle cry will remain a mist around
the rock filled mountain's under the stars as fading running horse's racing to winning
fleet are heard with chats of Xena circling the wind.
Woman of the sword, daughter,legend ,friend ,Mother, who learned to raise the sword
in the name of humanity, by passing the line of hateful rage.
Often thinking there were time's I should have walked away, letting you go
back to your family ,instead of roaming rough road's with me.
Life would have been much better for you , but there would have been
an empty space surrounding untimely passage over crossing silent scream's
flaming out toward human touch,
bringing sad laughing eye's and tearful smile,
thank you Gabrielle,
friend with the little girl way's.
Gabrielle seemed to blend in with the danger ,not wanting to leave Xena's side , for there was so
much to learn and see , for Gabrielle had to be .
In the mist of battle,
within the temple wall's ,doctoring the people for the greater good,
standing by my side healing with gentle touching storie's ,
slipping away to help a child lost in the war,
coming back wounded , the Doctor's house seemed to flush with silence
and tear's ,as you took a backward turn,
being told to let you go,pass over,
my friendship wouldn't let go,as I took control,
saving you to come back.
Xena had to travel to China to repay a almost forgotten friend a long waiting favor ,
leaving Gabrielle behind , not wanting to ,but this favor had to be.
Sitting in the prison water hole for doing a long waiting favor
in the name of a friend ,
confused ,hurt ,seeking revenge,
standing by my side instead,
for a life was to end,
She like you ,saw through
the wild child,
to the tenderness as it slowly ripped inches from the hell raising
bursting inside forcing hard core strength seep my mortual gentle
At one point in her life Gabrielle gave birth to a demon ,evil mystic child , who killed
Solan , Xena had hatred for it ,wanting to destroy , but Gabrielle had to save Xena.
Guilt of non nurturing Motherhood ,empty arm's,
feeling hatred toward you, your mystic seed child ,took my son's life,
my brave son and other's as well,
centered heaven and hell,
high intense hurting ,erasing you off pictureous past.
A line of love tugged true,protecting me from mystic seed Hope,
wanting to give of your precious life to save mine.
Watching you fall into the fire pitt of hell,
my heart with feeling's turned iciy cold,
losing all minding self control,
your voice calling my name circling with the wind
reaching out toward warmth
emerging from the darken day's of my youth
through fear and twisted year's,
the kindness of a soul sister's love
shown it's caring light.
As you fell into that fire pitt of hell with daughter Hope , concieved through
the master of darkness with his evil mystic seed, every warm feeling felt cold
Life was empty,meaningless , your sister friendship was so strong ,you did
all to protect me from bad fate.
I love you Gabrielle
Gabrielle was the little nobody faceless blur untill Xena took her along for
Not listening to you as I sat on Argo , ment to ride away , for there was
another conflect on the way ,an arrow came out of nowhere hitting like
a stinging hot flash baring down my midback.
My recovery almost not to come ,for the arrow was poisionous and medicine
no place, just emptiness.
Laying in a feverish sweat,wondering how you would surive without me.
Thank you Xena for watching over me ,risking yourself, as the conflect
started to come , warrior's forced their way into the shelter like barn.
The arrow hit so quickley,
a hot stinging flash ,
like a fireball in course of attack.
Growing with weakness,
as each word and breath were the last,
never fearing furture sight's,
remembering time's past,
dripping with fever,poision flowing,
only wanted to learn about the star's.
Laying ,looking up at the star's, wondering is the unseen furture near,
or will you get us out of this one, as a lost scared feeling among my
feverish dreams,patches of light upon a nothing little girl,
who turned human form the day you became a friend.
Knowing of your way's, wanted to leave family to travel with you, if I had
the little girl would have remained never growing to see reality ,the value of life ,
sisterhood,womanhood, the importance of my writing's true to each word,
winding down shadowed roads without you ,I Gabrielle would a nameless
face bluring in the crowd,
thank you Xena,for being the warrior you are and my best friend.
the little girl
Living in a world far from fantasies light's ,
a childhood that should have been,
growing up alone,
a bit empty inside, surrounded by those older then I,
friends none to be true,
wanting answers to puzzeling feeling's ,
turning and turning, in search of a woman to be found,
beneath the unseen playful world of lost fantasie's
from a little girl lost.
When the world would become to real,
feeling scared retreating within the womb of my room'
lay's a world far from reality,
full of blue candy skie's ,marshmellow clouds over a rainbow sea
with bright winged horse's riding across the horizion.
A world , free,
through the harsh maze of reality,
ment for those unlike me.
I went to China to betray you, not knowing the situation or reason, why this
the favor had to be, leaving a hello friendship to a quick goodbye.
Started to feel lost like the shelfish little girl, friend's walking away,
not wanting to go back into the deepening shell, I had to follow you.
Somehow walking beside you feeling like a somebody being the talking blond.
Following the lead,staying behind from harms way, secretly wanting
to be in the middle of clashing swords instead of the bylines
writing of the action as it take's it toll.
Protecting childern,caring for the wounded ,as burnt out ember's fall,
make's me thankful you let me walk along.
Walking away from childish dreams ,
a runny nose kid with destiny in her vain's,
walking in footstep's of unknown fame,
just storie's in jest.
The star's of fate leading the way,
as I say goodbye.
The face of battle was getting to real for Gabrielle and she decided to take a
different path toward life , but didn't want to leave Xena .
You grewup running free facing a fighting world , where you willing longed
and I grewup to be a quiet dreamer living storie's in back of my mind.
Wanting a change,
feeling a true calling,
wanting to pray, heal within spirtualy,
freedom from volience,
a different path
dividing our believing world's ,as flowing raging water's
Watching ,over viewing reasoning sense's ,
wanting to stop the endless need,
sword against sword,
sightless fire of war,
looking toward the quest.
Inner meditating emotionual spirting mind
connect through leviatating touch.
Gabrielle ment up with long time boyfriend Percuis during one of the adventures
of her and
Xena, he was suffering the sight's of war , giving up his sword to live a farmer's life , he asked
Gabrielle to be his wife.
Sorry for leaving without a goodbye , but didn't want to be a farmer's wife
at the time,
that loving feeling started to come back , seeing you again , your concerning eye's
tried to forget the present and live the past.
Sometime's I question why I accepted the marriage ,was it love ,or
did I feel sorry for you, wanting to help comfort the nightmaring dream's,
causing you to tremble with scaring sweat.
Yes Percuis I was lucky to have had a understanding man like you,
wishing your life wasn't taken away as I pictured a houseful of kid's and laughter
with Xena visiting often ,
Percuis ,I still hold bittersweet memorie's .
Hearing your scream's in the night,watching you hearing fre bomb's,
and shell's , seeing emenie's from another place and time.
I understand the world of war,
wonder why God made you,
thanking him for letting you come back.
Thanks for loving me,
not giving up,when I left without a trace,
still see the half smiling smirk,
kissing you as to last a lifetime.
Somehow the shy little girl circled around me with each fiber
of your touch,
the lonely need sometime's get's to me during the silent night.
Feeling like a half woman slipping away like a sensitive child,
Gabrielle gave birth to Hope , a demon seed child .
I walked into the temple searching for answer's ,it turned a shade evil ,
you were my sorce of sunshine, seeing a bleak world, produced unaturaly
holding you with an enlighting touch,
needing you more then loving ,
failing to see non childish eye's.
Filling an emptiness,
wanting to be a Mother,
even to a demon child.
A begining to a new meaning of life,
closing my eye's ,
not wanting to see evilness forming in the precious body child.
Laying the barn with birthing pain,
hearing the baby cry as thounderous lighting occured,
a Mother's love holding you, not reaching surface,
knowing I had lost you to an unknown force .
Sorry and forgive , Hope was a monster , couldn't throw her away like rotten
I didn't think she could hate so much .
Xena ,you being a Mother ,thought you would understand , if thing's were different
I would understand,may be not completely forgive the trust,
but friendship would remain.
Watching timeless enteral flame's,
sorrow chant's to say goodbye are heard.
Seeing the bitter ,hearing the numbing whailing heart,
deep tear's instilled,
united only to suffer a Motherly child loss
cutting like a dulling knife .
No more child smile's or curious laughing wondering eye's.
Xena ,standing by you ,feeling the pain , being sorry with great regret.
You stand motionless to the touch,
silent wrenching scream's roll down forming misty stream's,
crackling wind of ashe's turn,
shivering empty eye's pushing me away,
trying to appolize with great regret,
for the shotern life of your son.
What could I say
to keep bonding sisterhood from slipping away,
but with a tearing
I love you.
Why did God take the suffering and pain , why did he create
beauty with vain .
Why is ther hopeless shame among the different one's ,who
silently hold his name in prayer.
Why do childern as well as adult's have to feel and see
the hurt inflicking upon one's name.
Why must there be prejudice and high pride,?
Why must conflect's and hurtfulness occur ?
Is our world a reflection of bittersweat memorie's of those before us in the hour glass
of past time's .
Caesar thought he had finally caught his long hunting prey Xena.
As they were about to be escorted out of the dusty cell, bound for a hellish
goodbye, Grabielle cry's not wanting to face an unknown world without her
sister ,for Xena gave Gabrielle a reason to be.
Xena with her strong warrior way's ,feeling sorry for not reading Gabrielle's scroll's full
of their memorie's, coping the pain running through her spine, laying by Gabrielle,
she tell's her not to cry, so much a woman,yet like a child, not wanting her to feel
the harding fate of what seem's to be the final goodbye.
Kneeling in prayer ,shaking in fear,
wanting to leave a message for those who have true belief,
right upon wrong, weak from strong ,love upon hate,
the strength of unity.
Wanting to save you from the vision of doom,
never intending it to come true, wanting to
protect , as you slowly fell deeper into my world
of sinful twisted faith.
my strength of human contact, bringing out a new link
breaking the shameless chain.
I love you
There is a stillness, silence as the snow fall's, forming light tear's,
upon their lifeless shadowed frame's upon Caesar's cross.
A spirtual ray of strengthing light rise's connecting strong
A new begining ,
loving sense's united,
fighting the inhuman way's,
as Caesar had ment his revengeful destiny.
An end ,the begining
love over ride's injustice,hate,
bonding heart's out weigh,
the rule of fighting war torn sword's.
Reflection's of Xena and Gabrielle
Their friendship and storie's will remain, with echoe's of the war cry,
as Gabrielle's storie's will be heard among the shadow's mist.
True family friends to the core .
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