CHAPTER 14
Albenatan, Kikola's art teacher, was not very old, but he looked it. Lined skin, thinning, unruly grey hair, and he was rake thin, as if he hadn't eaten in a long time. He wore dirty white, paint-spattered dungarees with an old, stained shirt. Kikola herself had changed out of her uniform and into trousers and a long sleeve shirt. Unlike Albenatan, however, she wore a smock to avoid paint splashes on her clothes.
The art studio itself was as run down as its owner. The walls that were visible behind the canvases and easels were dirty. The windows were smeared with paint, as was the tiled floor. Kikola had not chosen Albenatan based on his looks or the state of his studio, but it was convenient to get to from work – a short walk – and despite his somewhat irascible manner, he had a lot of patience with her.
The art teacher placed a vase on a table in the middle of the studio. It was an old vase, dark red with a yellow ribbon pattern on the side.
"I have tried this," said Kikola. "It was not successful."
"That's your problem," Albenatan replied. "You look at this as though there is a single, correct result. You spend time trying to replicate what you see perfectly, and when you can't do that, you think you've failed."
"Surely, that is the point."
"No! If you want to see the subject of your painting, then just look at the subject. If you want an exact copy, then take a picture. Art is about capturing the essence of the subject and adding your own essence to it."
He shuffled over to an easel.
"Look! Do you like this?" He directed Kikola to observe the painting.
"Yes." The painting was exquisite. Minute details on the surface of the vase were visible: thin cracks in the glaze, a chip on the lip. It was perfect.
"Compare it to the real thing." He pointed at the vase. "Is it an exact copy?"
Kikola studied the vase -- the cracked glaze, the chipped lip were all there – only, not quite. The pattern of the cracked glaze was different. On the real vase there was no crack over the yellow ribbon pattern that adorned the side, yet Albenatan had drawn it so. The chip on the painting was larger, more defined, and to Kikola's surprise, in a more aesthetically pleasing position.
"I think I see what you mean," Kikola said. "The vase is not perfect, so it is not possible to capture it perfectly. The crack you painted over the ribbon makes the crack and the ribbon stand out more, draws your attention to the detail and highlights the… the character of the object. The position of the chip, by moving it to the right side of the ribbon it… balances the whole thing."
Albenatan grinned. "Good. You understand. It's not what I intended, but that's what art is all about. I put into it what I feel, and the viewer gets out of it what they feel. I put the crack over the ribbon, because I enjoyed painting the random lines and went too far. The chip is on the right, because I knocked the vase when I walked past during the session and set it down in a different position. But the point is it doesn't matter if I paint over the ribbon or put the chip in the wrong place. They are all elements that make up the object, and as long as they are there then I've 'succeeded' as you put it."
Kikola only managed an intake of breath.
Albenatan cut off her attempt to put her opinion across. "My instinct tells me if what I put down is wrong, and then I correct it."
Kikola's arched eyebrow registered her surprise.
Albenatan chuckled. "Yes, even I make mistakes. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Sometimes, like the cracks, they work. Now you try."
Kikola moved over to her easel. Albenatan took the vase off the table and replaced it with a basket of flowers.
"No!" he called out as he saw Kikola select a brush. "Try it with this one first." He hurried over and selected the largest brush.
"It is too big," Kikola protested.
"You are trying to capture the essence of what you see," Albenatan patiently explained. "Start off by capturing it with broad strokes first, then you can try with greater detail. Remember, the purpose of me teaching you is so that you learn how to paint, it is not about you producing paintings."
Kikola nodded and set to work. The brush was a little unwieldy at first, but her teacher showed her a technique to use it for some finer detail. When she had finished, Albenatan looked at her work.
"Good. Good."
"Is it?"
"Go across the room," he waved her away and started turning the easel.
Kikola walked across the studio and looked at her painting. It wasn't a perfect representation, but from this distance the detail didn't matter. The greenery of the stems and leaves, and the bright colours of the petals, looked like a basket of flowers. Not the basket of flowers that occupied the table in front of her, but a basket of flowers. A smile spread across Kikola's face as she realised that art is in the expression of one's own creativity.
She couldn't wait to get home and share this breakthrough moment with Tehvay.
~~~~
"Tehvay?" Kikola called out as she came through the front door with her artwork in hand.
"I'm upstairs. I'll be right down."
Kikola went directly to the small room opposite the living room that she had used as her home studio. She set her painting on her easel to display it. She was anxious to get Tehvay's opinion of her work.
She heard the fast steps of Tehvay running down the stairs. Like an excited child, Kikola thought. I never ran downstairs as a child. It would have been undignified. I envy how Tehvay embraces simple joy.
"How was your art lesson?" Tehvay asked as she came into the room. She stopped when she saw the painting. "Is that your latest project?"
"Yes. What do you think?" Kikola stepped back from the artwork to allow Tehvay a better look.
"I like it very much. It's different from your others. More – joyful." Tehvay reached out and ran a finger over one of the petals. "Zinlantha. It's perfect."
Kikola stood up next to Tehvay and looked at the painting again. Leave it to Tehvay to see things in a fresh, new way. "I had a bit of a breakthrough today."
"I can see that. It's lovely, Kikola. Your best work to date."
Kikola smiled as she basked in the praise. The smile faltered when Tehvay offered to sit for her.
"Sit? You mean you want me to paint you?"
"Yes," said Tehvay.
"I don't know. I haven't painted a live subject before."
"Then consider it practice." Tehvay sat down on the sofa. "Would you like me nude?"
Kikola's mind flashed back to Gatlor and her visit to her cousin Trin'hale. Our visit, she corrected herself. Tehvay was a slave then, but she was there. She had persuaded Trin'hale to sketch Tehvay. If Trin'hale had told Tehvay to pose nude, Tehvay would have had no choice but to obey. Kikola would not have liked that, but this was different. This was Tehvay's choice. After a moment of internal objection, Kikola wanted to say 'Yes!', but there was a part of her that couldn't say it. Fortunately for her, the decision was taken out of her hands.
Tehvay grinned. "Go on, just a little bit." She unzipped her dress and allowed it to fall off her shoulders. She reclined on the small sofa in the corner and struck a seductive pose.
Kikola immediately began to paint. With the broad strokes she was making, Kikola felt frustrated that she wasn't doing justice to Tehvay's perfect body. A thought struck her.
"I need to start again," she told Tehvay.
Kikola quickly discarded the canvas, replaced it with a piece of paper and picked up a graphite marker. As her eyes flowed over Tehvay's curves, she captured the essence of Tehvay's beauty in the flowing strokes of the marker.
"May I see it?"
"It's just a rough sketch."
"That's all right." Tehvay got up and stood beside Kikola. "Is that how you see me?"
"How do you mean?"
"Well, my breasts are more ample than in real life and my lips fuller."
Kikola felt her cheeks flush. Tehvay was standing so close. "I, uh… yes."
"It's quite sensual."
Kikola's mouth went dry as Tehvay's sultry voice resonated in her ear.
"Here, let me try painting you."
Kikola went to sit down on the sofa.
"Nude," said Tehvay.
Kikola liked where this was going, but suddenly felt awkward and self-conscious stripping off her clothes. She could not recreate Tehvay's seductive pose, so sat upright at one end of the sofa.
Tehvay picked up a clean brush, but instead of dipping it into the paint, she joined Kikola on the sofa. "Lights, twenty percent."
The lights in the room dimmed. Kikola felt her heart thumping in her chest in anticipation of what Tehvay might do next. As Kikola's eyes adjusted to the low lighting, she could see Tehvay leaning over her. Kikola closed her eyes expecting to feel Tehvay's lips on hers. She opened her eyes wide when she felt, instead, soft bristles brushing a line up the inside of her leg.
Kikola let out a soft moan when the brush traced a path up her torso, across her breasts, and down the other leg. It both tickled and aroused. When she felt Tehvay's tongue rake across her nipple as the tip of the brush's handle rubbed against her clit, Kikola thought she would pass out from the current flowing between those two pleasure points.
She didn't even know how they got to the floor, but the next thing Kikola knew, Tehvay's fingers replaced the brush between her legs and teased her slick folds in long, bold strokes.
"Tehvay, please," Kikola pleaded. She wanted to feel Tehvay inside of her, filling her.
However, Tehvay didn't.
Kikola almost yelped with disappointment when Tehvay took her hand away.
Is Tehvay having a flashback again? Do we need to stop? Kikola was just about to say something when she felt a sudden jolt of carnal need. It took her breath away. Tehvay had taken her hand away and replaced it with her mouth.
Kikola's hips rose up to meet Tehvay's tongue as it darted in and out.
"…so close," Kikola groaned.
Just when Kikola thought she couldn't take it anymore, Tehvay replaced her mouth with her finger, plunging it in while her mouth captured Kikola's throbbing clit.
Her lungs expelled a guttural groan and her whole body felt like it would shatter from the intensity of her orgasm.
It took a few moments for Kikola's muscles to unclench and for her breathing to return to normal – a few moments more before she could string together a few coherent words. "Who knew painting could feel this good."
Tehvay smiled down at Kikola before relaxing on the floor next to her.
Kikola had experienced Tehvay's love in such a deeply intimate way, and she longed to share that same gift with Tehvay, to feel Tehvay's body respond to her touch. She wanted to hear Tehvay call out her name in passion and blissful release. Maybe this time, she thought.
Kikola reached up to cup one of Tehvay's exposed breasts. Tehvay didn't jump, or try to pull away, which was encouraging. As her hand slipped lower to push the dress away from Tehvay's hips, Kikola saw a flicker in Tehvay's eyes that told her Tehvay was still fighting the nightmares that haunted her. Kikola removed her hand, allowing Tehvay to get up off the floor.
"I'm hungry," Tehvay said, slipping the dress over her shoulders and fumbling for the zip. "Lights, ninety percent."
Kikola had said all the words she could to tell Tehvay that she understood the journey Tehvay had undertaken just to get to this point, and was grateful to Tehvay for coming this far. All she could do was be patient and wait. She got dressed as Tehvay headed for the kitchen. Just as she was about to follow Tehvay, there was a knock at the door.
"I will get it," she called out. She opened the door and was shocked to find Rikana standing there.
"Rikana! I didn't know you were back. Is Yuniph with you or has she gone home?"
"I—I need some help, I—" Rikana struggled to speak. She looked past Kikola to Tehvay who'd come to see who was at the door. "I'm sorry."
~~~~
Rikana thought she was dreaming for a moment. Reality hit her and all she could do was apologise to Tehvay. She was ushered inside and sat down heavily in an armchair.
"What happened? Where's Yuniph?"
Rikana didn't know who asked the questions. Her mind replayed the incident.
The door to the cell opened.
"On your feet!" a guard barked.
Rikana supported her cracked ribs with her arm as she slowly obeyed the order. The arm was roughly torn away as her hands were cuffed behind her back. A second guard cuffed Yuniph.
The two of them were marched out of the cell, down a short corridor and into another room. There were three people in the room. Aloyd Falentha, a slave, and a blonde-haired woman that Rikana didn't recognise.
The blonde-haired woman spoke. "You are going to deliver a message to Kikola ap Karthen." She looked at Rikana. "That is, you are going to deliver the message." She turned to Yuniph. "Your death is going to be the message."
"No!" Rikana struggled.
The guards took hold of her and dragged her to the side of the room.
"Rikana," Yuniph spoke softly. "This is right. This is how it should be."
Rikana looked at Yuniph. A bright red scar stood out on her friend's forehead. The bruising that had accompanied it had almost faded. The injuries didn't hide the fact that this was the face that had saved her life. All those years ago, cold and alone on the streets, she had given up until Yuniph came along and saved her, given her life a purpose.
"You saved me," said Rikana. "Thank you."
Yuniph smiled and nodded.
"I'll make them pay for this." Rikana's voice broke.
Falentha stepped up behind Yuniph. Light caught the knife blade as it drew a red line across Yuniph's throat. It seemed to take forever before any blood started flowing, but when it did, it didn't stop.
Yuniph's body slumped to the floor, and Rikana's legs went weak, only the guards holding her prevented her from falling. She was thankful that her tears blinded her so that she didn't have to see the lifeless body of her friend.
She was dragged away. When the tears finally cleared from her eyes, she was standing in a hangar near a small spacecraft. Falentha appeared beside her and nodded at the guards. The cuffs were removed. Rikana's instincts were to strike out, but she reined them in quickly.
Kikola's advice came to her. She couldn't win now, so the only option was to win later.
Falentha held out a data chip. "Here's a recording of the slave being put to death to show to Karthen."
Rikana snatched the data chip. "I'll be back, and I'll shove this up your arse."
"I have had worse things shoved up there." Falentha muttered. She nodded in the direction of a small transport ship. "It'll get you across the border before it falls apart. If you ration yourself carefully the protein supply for the food dispenser will last that long as well."
Rikana stared long and hard at Falentha, wanting to remember every facet of the face that she was going to see in pain before she squeezed the life out of it. The thing she remembered the most were the piercing blue eyes that reflected back their own pain.
Rikana choked back her tears as she told Kikola and Tehvay of Yuniph's fate. A thick pall of sorrow filled the living room, and for several moments no one spoke or looked each other in the eyes.
Finally, Rikana turned to Tehvay, who was stunned into silence, the shock clearly visible on her ashen face. "Yuniph could have told them they had the wrong person, but she let them think they had you. She died to protect you."
"Why? Why would she do that? I don't understand," Tehvay said mournfully.
"So, you could finally be free. She did it because she loved you."
~~~~
Tehvay had watched Kikola and Rikana leave the Veilan's home and wished she could go with them. She hurt inside at the loss of Yuniph and struggled against the grief, but she knew she had to remain strong for her parents. She went back inside to her parents' living room. Asta and Pallin sat on the sofa clinging to each other and weeping openly. Tehvay sat on a nearby chair and tried to comfort them as best she could. It wasn't that she didn't want to deal with her parents. She didn't know how. She didn't know what she was expected to do, or say.
"Shall I make some dyodpeth?" asked Tehvay. She stood up, desperate to do something.
"No," said Pallin. "We'll need something to make us sleep. Not keep us awake."
"What about something to eat?"
"We can't eat at a time like this," said Asta.
Her mother's voice was strained. Tehvay couldn't tell if her mother was angry at her or not.
"I just want to help," said Tehvay plaintively. "I don't know what to do."
"Just be here." Her father beckoned her to sit back down.
Tehvay returned to her chair.
"What cruel fate," said Asta, "to be reunited with you. A complete family again. Only for Yuni to be taken away." Her mother reached out and grabbed Tehvay's arm. "We need you more than ever."
"I can't replace her," said Tehvay. She jerked her arm out of her mother's grasp. "She was your daughter."
"You're our daughter too."
"What I mean is, you had all that time together."
"It's not about that," said Pallin. "We're not asking you to be her. We lost you and you came back to us. We've lost Yuni, and she's not going to come back. We couldn't bear it if we were to lose you again."
"You won't lose me," said Tehvay. She didn't know what else to say.
"We might have only met a few months ago," said Asta. "But you've been my daughter your whole life. When you walked through that door, I thought I was seeing a ghost. When I held you, all those years disappeared. You were my child, my first-born. I knew you would become part of our family."
"First born?"
"Yes. You were born first. Yuniph was born a few minutes later."
"How do you know?"
"When they came to take one of you away, I knew which side of the cot was empty when they left. Besides, Yuniph had a small birthmark on her bottom." Asta broke down in fresh sobs.
"Why didn't you tell Yuniph about me?"
"It was easier," said Pallin as he consoled his wife. "We had so much to deal with. We were so busy getting our lives sorted out, work, house, just learning to do basic things that any free person would know how to do. By the time she was old enough to understand, it would've only complicated things."
"There was never a right time to tell her," said Asta. "After so many years, we saw no point in upsetting her. But we never forgot you."
Tehvay recalled her transition to freedom with Boran. It was slow and difficult. It must have been harder for her parents with a baby to look after.
"Now we must never forget Yuniph," said Pallin.
They sat for hours. Finally, the grief couldn't hold the tiredness off for any longer, and Asta and Pallin went to bed. Tehvay settled into the spare room, but she couldn't sleep. Eventually she got up and without thinking wandered into Yuniph's room. It looked like Yuniph had only just left and could come back at any minute.
Tehvay sat on the bed and picked up the small stuffed animal from the bedside cabinet. She recalled Yuniph telling her it was a dryg named Idris, a toy Yuniph had since she was a baby.
Tehvay never had a toy to play with when she was a child. She lay down on Yuniph's bed, held the toy to her chest, and let the tears flow.
~~~~
Rikana's revelation of Yuniph's fate had been a shock to Kikola. However, when the younger woman came seeking her support in telling Yuniph's parents, Kikola's aloyd training kicked in, and she forced herself to remain as outwardly calm as she could. Tehvay was obviously upset by the news, though she seemed to take it somewhat better than Kikola expected.
With Tehvay, Kikola and Rikana broke the bad news to the Veilans. Asta and Pallin were understandably devastated. Kikola and Rikana thought it best for Tehvay to stay with her parents, and they left the Veilan family alone to grieve. Rikana didn't want to return to her empty flat, so she went back to Kikola's house.
Rikana immediately made herself at home, helping herself to a drink and slumping onto the sofa. Kikola knew the young woman had weeks on the long journey home to come to terms with Yuniph's death, but was still visibly upset.
"Thank you for being with me when I told the Veilans," Rikana said after taking a mouthful of beer. "I couldn't do it on my own. All the way back I was dreading it. I could have called ahead, but…" Rikana wiped her eyes. "Thank you."
"It's what friends are for," said Kikola.
Rikana gave a hollow laugh. "Yes. I took too long to admit that to Yuniph. I'm not going to make that mistake again." She held the bottle of beer up and looked at Kikola. "Friend." She tipped the bottle in Kikola's direction. "Yuniph drove me mad at times. I'm sure I did the same to her. But she never complained. She was always so fucking nice all the time." Rikana tried taking a swallow of beer, but choked on a sob.
Kikola crouched down next to the sofa and placed a hand on the young woman's shoulder. Rikana had seemed upset earlier, but now grief and anger really took hold. She gave a scream of primal rage.
"Why? Why her?" Rikana allowed her tears to fall unbidden. "All she ever wanted was to help people. She went out of her way to help me. Me! What the fuck did I do to deserve that?" Fresh sobs overcame her.
Kikola couldn't offer any words, so she did the only thing she could. She pulled Rikana to her and wrapped her arms around her, allowing the younger woman to cry herself out.
After nearly a minute Rikana raised her head, shrugged out of the supporting arms, and reached into her pocket and pulled out a data chip. "The execution is on here." She tossed it at Kikola. "Falentha wanted you to see it."
Kikola caught the chip. "Why?"
"I told you, because they thought Yuniph was Tehvay. They killed her to send you a message!"
The accusation was thrown half-heartedly, but it found its mark.
There were no words Kikola could offer that would have expressed the depth of her remorse. A simple 'Sorry' would be wholly inadequate. A shift of blame would be meaningless. Rikana had lost a friend. No words could make up for that. If Rikana wanted to blame Kikola, she would take it.
Kikola remained silent and looked down at the data chip in her hand. After staring at it for several seconds she walked to the display console.
"I'll wait outside," said Rikana, climbing to her feet. "I can't watch it."
Kikola waited until she was alone before inserting the chip. It wasn't the first death she had witnessed, but it hit her in a way that no other had. She thought back to Gatlor and the two teenagers she had casually executed without a thought. They had been faceless, nameless, inconsequential, but the woman being executed in the vid had a familiar face and a name Kikola knew.
Another name that Kikola knew was the woman in the background of the recording: Ambra ap Lentol. This wasn't just Gral'hilanth taking revenge. This was supported by the leader of the Hegemony. This made it both political and personal.
The tears slipped down her cheeks before she realised she was crying. Kikola angrily wiped her face and ejected the data chip. A few moments later Rikana came back in.
"I am going back," said Kikola. "I am going back and taking down Ambra."
"Ambra? As in Lentol?"
"Yes."
"What's she got to do with this? It was that feeta Falentha that murdered Yuniph."
"Ambra was behind it. She was the blonde-haired woman."
Rikana frowned. "That was Lentol?"
Kikola nodded.
An angry look crossed Rikana's face. "The fuck."
"I am going to stop her," Kikola replied.
"Isn't that suicide? You said it was impossible."
"Yes, and Ambra also knows that it's impossible."
"Then why do it?"
"Because I know something she doesn't."
"What's that?" asked Rikana.
Kikola looked at the young woman. "I am going to win."
~~~~
Kikola settled into the pilot's seat and made herself comfortable. She wanted to return to the Hegemony alone, but there were two people who wouldn't let her. She looked behind her to the woman she loved. "Ready?"
Tehvay nodded.
Kikola knew that Tehvay was torn between staying with her parents and going with her. Asta and Pallin wanted Tehvay to stay. Kikola felt badly for them, but was pleased that Tehvay was coming with her. If they were going to die, they would die together. Though dying wasn't the plan.
Kikola turned to the woman in the co-pilot's seat, who despite her unorthodox way, Kikola was glad to have by her side. "Ready?"
Rikana grinned determinedly. "Let's go fuck some Heggers."
Clearance came from traffic control, and Kikola coaxed the ship off the ground. Soon they were climbing rapidly and the pale blue sky turned dark.
"Course set," said Rikana. "Wait, what's that?"
Kikola looked at the sensor monitor Rikana was pointing at. Tehvay leaned forward between them.
"What's wrong? What is it?" asked Tehvay.
"Whatever it is, it's big," said Rikana. "Fucking big."
Kikola raised her eyes from the display and looked out of the window. There was a brief flash and a Hegemony warship dropped from light speed, filling their field of view.
"Heggers," Rikana spat. She glared at Kikola. "How do we win this one?"
Kikola didn't have an answer.