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Liz woke to the sound of muffled sobs. She looked over and saw that Mary Jane wasn't home yet. She slid off the top bunk sat down on the floor and put her hand on Jo's back. She could feel the sob's coming from deep within Jo. She wasn't sure if she should say anything or not. Then Jo turned towards her. She wrapped her arms around Liz and pulled her up onto the bed. Liz laid next to Jo.
“Jo, are you okay?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What can I do?”
“Just hold me.”
Liz held Jo until Jo's breathing returned to normal and then she drifted off to sleep. Liz tried to slid out of the bed to climb back to her own bunk but found Jo's hand only tightening around her when she tried to move. Liz decided she wasn't going anywhere, but knew she had to sleep, so she laid her head next to jo's and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Liz woke several times during the night, checking on Jo each time. To Liz's relief Jo seemed to sleep through the night. Liz was grateful that tomorrow was Saturday for as the night wore on she knew she would be tired the next day and wouldn't want to drag herself to classes.
Jo woke around 6am and gently shook Liz. Liz opened her eyes, saw that Mary Jane was still not in her bed, then turned her head to face Jo.
“You're welcome. You want to talk about what happened?”
Tears slowly slide down Jo's cheeks, but she quickly pulled herself together knowing that she needed to talk to Liz and that if she was crying that she couldn't get it all out. “Kim was over yesterday.”
“Kim from your statistics class, you were going to work on a project right?”
“Liz, there was no project to work on.”
“I kinda thought so.”
“I've had a crush on her since the beginning of the semester. A couple of weeks ago we went to lunch, and then we went to the courtyard and she kissed me. I wasn't sure what I thought or what I was supposed to do. Then last week after class we went to the courtyard after class and we started kissing, and it was nice, we were kinda making out.” Jo paused.
“Jo this sounds good, you like her right? Isn't this something that you want?”
“Yeah I want it, but—“ Jo paused again. Liz just waited for to continue.
“Yesterday we were making out in the courtyard again, and it got really heavy, and I suggested we come back here. I thought you were going to Liza's after Spanish, and I knew Mary Jane had class till late. We got here and no one was here, but then you came in.”
“Yeah I didn't go to Liza's. I needed to go to the library to do some research on Cortez for our Spanish project and she had a study group for math. I just came back to drop some stuff off.”
“Well, after you left we started making out again, and I think we kinda had sex.”
“What do you mean you think you kinda had sex?”
“I don't know what exactly what it means when two girls have sex. I know what it was like with Josh, but not sure with another girl.”
“You wanna tell me what happened?”
Jo told her what her and Kim did, but left out the part about Mary Jane coming home.
“Yes Jo, that would be having sex. That's all stuff that Josh would have done with you right?”
Jo was quiet knowing there was more to tell, but wasn't sure how to tell Liz.
“Jo, is there something else?”
“Mary Jane came in just as we were finishing. I closed the bedroom door and Kim ran for the bathroom to get dressed. I don't think Mary Jane figured out what we'd been doing, but it was just awkward because none of us have really ever had anyone over before. Kim came out of the bathroom and Mary Jane just threw her stuff on the bed and turned and left again. She didn't say anything at all. She just left.”
“And she not here now either.”
“I don't think she's been back, Liz. I think I did something that upset her.”
“Jo I don't think that you should worry about it. It is, well was Friday night Mary Jane probably just had other plans.”
“But she hasn't come back.”
“We'll just talk to her when she gets back Jo, it's not a big deal.”
“Maybe not, but it is a big deal that I had sex with Kim.”
“That depends on how you feel about it, and how you feel about her.”
“I like her a lot, but I don't have feelings for her like I ever had for Josh.”
“Okay, but you like her, so that's a good thing. You might not have as many feelings for her in the beginning like you did with Josh right away but that doesn't mean it's wrong.”
“I don't know if it's right or wrong. I think it might be wrong.”
“Why do you think it's wrong Jo?”
“Well, for two reasons. First because I still hang out with Josh, we really have a strong connection and second because I have stronger feelings for someone else.”
“Let's go one thing at a time. Let's start with Josh.”
“Tell me about this connection with Josh.”
“Well, you remember how upset I got when we broke up, and then he started dating other girls. Then he came up to me on campus one day and asked me if I would go to lunch with him, that he wanted to talk to me. He told me that he still had strong feelings for me, that he still loved me, but that he wasn't in love with me, and that he couldn't see himself spending his life with me. He said that he wanted to remain friends. We talked some more about that and decided that we could be friends. I was relieved because after I got over the initially shock of the hurt I realized I really cared about him, but that I wasn't in love with him either. So I thought that friends sounded good too. We've hung out a few times, his girlfriend always gets really jealous but he just keeps telling her that there is nothing between us.”
“Jo, do you believe in soul mates?”
“I used to think that I did. I thought that Josh was my soul mate and I thought that we'd spend the rest of our lives together.”
“Jo, think about this. What if you had a soul mate that wasn't the person you were involved in a relationship with, just someone that was part of your life. Do you really think you have to be in a relationship with a person for them to be your soul mate?”
“I grew up believing that you searched through your life till you found your soul mate, and then you spent the rest of your life with them. But I guess I can see how you could spend your life with someone and not be in a relationship with them. What does this have to do with Josh though Liz?”
“Jo, I think that your feelings are right. I think from what I've heard you say that Josh may be your soul mate. You found him, but that doesn't mean that you will spend with life with him, but he will always be in your life.”
“I don't know about that. I'll have to think about that. I do know that there is this really intense connection between the two of us.”
“Think about Jo. I think that may be the case here. Now, for the second thing. Let's talk about you having stronger feelings for someone else.”
Jo was thankful that it was still dark outside as her face blushed deep red. “There is this other girl, that I totally like. I want to ask her out, but I am not sure, I think she might kinda be involved with someone else.”
“The only way to find that out is to ask her Jo. You have to put yourself out there and let yourself be vulnerable.”
“I don't think I can ask her Liz. It would make so many things uncomfortable.”
“I can't tell you what to do Jo, you have to decided that for yourself, but if you want an answer you have to ask.”
“Are you seeing Liza?” Jo quickly spit out turning her head away from Liz afraid of the answer.
Liz was shocked. She didn't know how to answer that question. They'd had the one date, and that night after the club, but did that mean they were dating or just friends? And was Jo trying to tell her that she was the girl that she had stronger feelings about?
Liz pulled Jo close to herself. “Jo, do you like me?” Liz asked without answering Jo's question.
Muffled by her pillow Jo responded, “Yes.”
“Look at me Jo, please.”
Jo slowly turned her head and looked at Liz.
Liz leaned in close and softly kissed Jo on the lips. Jo was surprised. She didn't expect a reaction for Liz, she was sure that Liz and Liza had a thing going.
“Liz, does this mean you don't have anything going with Liza?”
“Jo, we went on one date. I like her a lot, but there is someone else that I like a lot more and that I think is incredibly sexy that I've had my eye on since the beginning of the school year.”
Jo blushed again as Liz leaned in and kissed her again.
Pulling back Liz looked into Jo's eyes. “Jo would you be my girlfriend?”
“Are you serious Liz?”
“You think that I am sexy?”
“Are you kidding me, you are totally sexy. It is so hard to keep my eyes off you when you are changing. You wouldn't believe some of the thoughts that I've had about you. I thought I was doing something totally wrong because you are my roommate.”
“Liz, I'd love to be your girlfriend, but what are you going to do about Liza. I know you like her a lot. We just talked about it in the cafeteria the other day.”
“I know. We did the lunch date thing and that went well. I like hanging out with her. The sex we had in the beginning was totally awesome, but I don't think I want to date her, I will have to talk to her.”
Jo wound her legs around Liz's, kissed her softly on the lips and drifted back to sleep holding Liz close. Liz laid awake in Jo's arms knowing that it was unlikely that she was going to go back to sleep and knowing that Jo would sleep for a couple of hours.
A few minutes later Mary Jane came back. She came in the room and headed straight to her bed.
“Mary Jane, where have you been all night? Don't you know it's like seven in the morning?”
Mary Jane embarrassed that she got caught didn't really want to answer Liz, but knew she owed her some kind of explanation. “I went to the club with Kelly, and then we went to her house. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed, sleep a few hours.”
Liz left things at that, decided not to say anything else.
Liz slowly drifted off to sleep while Mary Jane was in the shower.
Liz walked into Spanish class Monday morning a bit early, taking a seat of the far side not in the middle where she and Liza always sat. Liz was hoping to avoid Liza not knowing what to say to her after her conversation and night with Jo. Things had just begun to get started with Liza and now she had to break it off.
Class started and there was no Liza. Liz became concerned, Liza never missed a class. Just as the instructor began class she turned and saw Liza sitting in the dark back corner. Turning her attention back to the instructor she tried to remain focused throughout class.
As soon as class was over Liza bolted out of her seat. She wondered what the hell was Liz's problem, why had she sat way over there? That was not where they sat, and they always sat in the same place. She heard her name being called but kept on walking, darting into the art building hoping that Liz wouldn't follow her in there since Liz had to go get her art supplies and come back for her drawing class.
Liz saw Liza dart in the art building and gave up her pursuit. She'd have to talk to Liza later. She knew she'd made a mistake sitting on the far side now. She still needed to face Liza and not be so cowardly about it.
Liz wandered through the rest of her day in a fog.
Walking into Spanish class Liz took her seat in her usual spot. Liza came in and sat next to her.
“Hey didn't see you yesterday, where were you?” Liza asked Liz as innocent as possible.
Liz wondered if Liza had really not seen her. “I came in late and sat over on the far side, I didn't see you either.”
“I was late too, I was in the back corner.”
Okay thought Liz so we are both going to play this game.
“Liza, I need to talk to you after class, do you have time today?”
“Yeah, I don't have class till ten.”
Just then the instructor walked in and announced that she was giving them time to work on their mid-term projects and that there would be no class today. She made it very clear she expected everyone to use their time wisely as they only had a few weeks to finish up and that they should have their paper written in English by the end of next week so they'd have time to start translating it to Spanish.
Liz and Liza headed out and walked towards the library. They'd completely all their research on Cortez and had started their paper.
“Let's finish up this paper and then we'll go to the courtyard.”
“Sounds good Liz.”
As Liz and Liza left the library and headed to the courtyard they walked in silence. Liz sat down in the grass at the top of the hill, remembering how they'd rolled down the hill in the past. Liza sat down next to her.
“Liza, I need to talk to you about us.”
“Liz, I already know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Liz, we had a great time that first night, and we've become great friends, but as I've gotten to know you I've also learned that your heart is set on someone else. I know you like me, but I am not where your heart lies.”
Liz turned three shades of Red. “Liza, I really wanted it to be you. I feel so close to you, it's like I've known you my whole life. You're right though. There is someone else. I didn't want to admit it because I thought it was wrong, and I thought that by expanding my relationship with you that it would go away. Not only has it not gone away, but I've learned she feels the same way about me.”
“Then you should totally go for it Liz.”
“You're sure; I don't want to hurt you Liza.”
“I'd be hurt if you didn't, and you and I started something that you weren't into. We can remain friends and that is what I think is best anyway. So tell me about her.”
When Liz returned to the dorm room she found Mary Jane and Jo unstacking the bunks.
“What are you guys doing?”
“I know this trick Liz.” Liz looked at Mary Jane utterly confused.
“You see you put the beds next to each other and then you turn the mattresses sideways, and it's like having a king size bed. No sense in the two of you sleeping in the twin all squished together every night.”
Liz blushed. Just how much did Mary Jane know.
“The two of you have spent enough time oogeling over each other and sleeping on Jo's bed together anyway, that I think this is just a better way to go.”
Liz didn't know what to think, she still wasn't sure what she thought herself.
“Liz, I think it's a great idea.” Jo said turning towards Liz.
“Mary Jane, you sure your okay with this?”
“Hey it was my idea wasn't it?”
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