See Part 1



A Sweet Surrender

{Part IV}

By Katia N. Ruiz

Copyright 1999


For the next week and a half, Andrea insisted on being beside Cassidy every free minute of her days that didn’t require her to be at the school teaching. Ashleigh didn’t argue with her, seeing the signs that things weren’t merely friendly with them. She knew something had happened on that picnic trip they’d gone on together, but it wasn’t her business to ask either one of them. Cassidy would tell her in due time, she knew.

Cassidy seemed glad to have Andrea close, but sometimes seemed about to push her away, to ask her to leave her. Ashleigh recognized the confused expression in her eyes, saw the look of uncertainty in her expression. Cassidy was so deeply in love with Andrea, and she didn’t know what to make of the attention she received, the attention Andrea provided her with that seemed from her heart, her deepest heart. Ashleigh also knew about Cassidy’s self-destructive nature, and didn’t want her to make a mistake.

Ashleigh, one morning, getting more curious by the minute, approached Cassidy on a friendly basis. "Cassidy," She said, sitting next to Cassidy on the bed. Cassidy was much better, already able to sit on the bed without bother and pain. She was still on oxygen support, but the thick tube had been removed when the swelling of the mostly affected lung went down. She had even braided her hair on her own, and a very long dark braid lay over her chest as she rested back against the sit-up bed. "Tell me what’s wrong, Cassidy." Ashleigh said softly, taking a hold of Cassidy’s hand and squeezing.

Cassidy seemed to struggle within herself, her eyes went back and forth between Ashleigh and her lap. She scratched the surface on the crook of her arm, where the IV was still inserted and taped onto her. She grimaced, and Ashleigh couldn’t ignore her beauty, she smiled softly. Cassidy said: "Andrea and I…" She paused, struggling visibly. "We… ah… we slept together."

Ashleigh grinned, and sat back, staring at Cassidy. She suspected as much. "Cassidy!" She exclaimed after a few shocked moments. She slapped her thighs and laughed delightedly. "Isn’t that what you wanted?" She asked, trying to catch her wandering eyes.

Cassidy avoided her eyes. "Yes," She then said softly, finally looking up into her friend’s eyes. "It is what I wanted all along, Ash." Her eyes took on a dreamy look. "I lost myself when my hands touched her; as sick as I was starting to feel, I still made love to her. I couldn’t say no to her, I loved her with my body…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she opened them again to look into Ashleigh’s.

Ashleigh lifted her large hand to graze it across Cassidy’s smooth cheek, smiling gently and comfortingly. "Do you regret it, honey?" She asked softly.

Cassidy’s eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously. "No," She breathed softly, her eyes filled with tears. "I just do not know what to do about it, I love her so much!"

Ashleigh leaned towards her, caressing her cheek with the palm of her hand. Cassidy pressed her face onto her palm, and shivered slightly. "What do you mean you don’t know what to do about it?" Ashleigh asked her friend.

Cassidy shook her head, closing her eyes. "I love her more than anything in this world, Ashleigh." She said in a low voice. "I don’t know what to do. I want her to be mine, but she is Jeffrey’s."

Ashleigh made a low annoyed sound. "You’re so willing to give her up, Cassidy." She said, sitting back and resting her hands on her own lap. She studied Cassidy with knowing eyes. "She hasn’t even been faced with Jeffrey, and you’re already assuming that she’ll go running back to him as soon as he comes back!" Ashleigh really disliked Jeffrey Rosenthal. One could tell by the disgusted curl of her upper lip as she replied to what she knew was a foolish answer from Cassidy. "Tell me," She said vehemently in her anger. "How was she when you made love to her? When she was in your arms? Did she call out his name, did it seem she felt guilty?" She knew she was being a little rash and crude, but she was really angry with Cassidy and her cowardice.

"Ashleigh!" Cassidy said reproachfully, blushing violently.

Ashleigh laughed until her eyes watered. "And since when are you the prude?" She demanded thickly. "Since when? You, who made love to me with a wine bottle of all things!" She laughed again, punching her lightly in the stomach. She saw Cassidy’s blushing expression, and laughed all the harder. In a few moments, her laughter died away and she grinned at her friend, her perfect row of teeth flashing. "Really, Cassidy," She said soothingly. "Tell me, when she was in your arms, how did she react? Was she calling out his name?"

Cassidy’s flush remained, but this time it wasn’t from embarrassment. Body memory was at an all time high now, and she was recalling the feel of Andrea’s skin against hers, against her palms. The fervor of her cries and intermittently, her ecstatic orgasms. She closed her eyes, and she swore she could see the flush of the pale skin of Andrea’s body as she gazed at it, as her mouth and tongue stroked it. She recalled the ecstasy of the deep guttural cries Andrea let forth, it was as if Andrea were calling her name out once again with her throaty shaky voice. "She was utterly mine, Ashleigh." Cassidy said hoarsely, feeling a hard lump in her throat, her body flushing with heat and a cold sweat prickling her body all over.

Ashleigh smiled knowingly. "Is your love for her threatened? Do you think you’d ever stop loving her?" She asked.

Cassidy swallowed hard, and gazed at Ashleigh. "I’ll never stop loving her, Ashleigh." She said softly. "I’m more in love with her than ever."

Ashleigh made a fist and punched the hard thigh under the covers. "Then seduce her again, make her love you the way you love her." She suggested heatedly. "And see how fast she’ll leave that bastard that calls himself her boyfriend."

Cassidy didn’t know what to say. She remained quiet, and gazed at Ashleigh, knowing she was right. She was being a coward.

Andrea smiled at her students as the bell rang, and lowered her upturned hand, which held the small piece of chalk against the dark green chalkboard. Her students, mixed from Hispanic to Caucasian, jumped uniformly to their feet and began filing out of the classroom, not forgetting to say goodbye to their favorite teacher. Roseanne went towards her without hesitation, smiling her radiant smile, tinted with worry. Andrea grinned at her with loving friendly and motherly eyes.

Roseanne stood by the desk, wanting to talk to Andrea about things, not knowing how to start. She never really felt she couldn’t talk to Andrea, but today, she was extremely shy. "Ms. Cates," She said in a low voice. "May I speak with you?" She avoided her eyes.

Andrea became instantly concerned, and she looked closely at her young student and friend. Roseanne never avoided her eyes and was never shy. "What is going on?" She asked, gesturing for her to sit down and sitting down herself behind the desk. When Roseanne merely stared at the table in front of her and said nothing, she pressed: "Spill it, girl!"

Roseanne’s eyes snapped up to hers, and they widened. "I’m having a little problem."

Andrea tilted her head sideways, frowning softly. She sat forward and brought her hands together over the desk. "And that is?" She inquired.

"Um," Roseanne said. "You remember how I told the whole world I had a crush on Manuela Montero?"

Andrea chuckled. "I remember very well." She said. She made a gesture with her hand, a gesture for her to continue. "Go on."

"Well," Roseanne paused. "I do and everything, and she came up to me afterwards, and we’re sort of talking." She paused, and scratched at the surface of the desk with a short fingernail.

Andrea could sense the "but" at the end of that sentence. "But?" She prodded, getting a little impatient with her friend and student.

Roseanne sat back on her chair, and made eye contact with Andrea, deciding to stop wasting time. "Jenya Field," She said. "The cheerleader…"

Andrea made an impatient gesture. "Sure, I know who she is, honey. Do go on!" She pushed.

"Well, she… ah… approached me last week and asked me out on a date." Roseanne continued her tale. "I accepted."

Andrea sat back with wide eyes, a drama seemed to be unfolding. "Wow." Was all she could say.

Roseanne nodded in silent agreement. "I like both of them, they’re both exciting to hang out with. And they both know about the other, and seem to be making it harder for me to decide." She said quickly, seeking advice from the only other person who could give her; the first being her mother, who with so much work on her shoulders, sometimes couldn’t even stop her bustling to say hello. Her eyes were wide and innocent in her turmoil.

Andrea leaned forward again, and looked at Roseanne with a loving expression. "Why do you have to decide?" Andrea asked, smiling. "Enjoy both their company, Roseanne, as long as both girls know what’s going on. Ask them not to pressure you, dear. You have all the time in the world for these kind of decisions." She paused as she saw a slight flicker of relief fall across Roseanne’s expression. "You’re only fifteen, honey."

"You think they would accept for me see both of them?" Roseanne asked, leaning forward eagerly, blue eyes wide.

Andrea laughed softly, and reached out to stroke her hand softly. "Yes," She said. "If they like you so much, they’ll allow you to make your own decision at the right time, don’t you think?"

Roseanne nodded, beaming. "Cool!" She said, jumping to her feet. "That’s exactly what my mother said! Well, not exactly said. I used a hypothetical friend."

Andrea laughed loudly. "And why are you asking me, then?" She demanded good-naturedly, standing also.

"Because mothers can sometimes be wrong," Roseanne said. "Now I know she was right, if you say the same, then she’s right." She reached for her bag and said: "I’ll see you later, at study period?"

Andrea smiled and nodded. "Okay." She watched her young friend walk out with her usual bounce.


Almost two weeks later, Cassidy let herself into her apartment and glanced anxiously around the living room; she missed her home. Gretchen and George were close behind her, holding her bags for her. She was already tired and her skin was slightly pale and drawn, but the usual healthy glow was almost back. She was a little thinner and weak, but Ashleigh had assured them that she’d be back on her feet within a few days. She recommended a temporary special diet for her to keep, and made her promise she would.

As much as she wanted to, Andrea couldn’t be there because of work at school, but she’d already claimed the afternoon. A basic friendly argument with George had gotten her what she wanted. George wanted to be there to take care of her friend, and didn’t trust anybody, not even Ashleigh herself, to take proper care of Cassidy. But Gretchen had secretly enforced the fact that there may be a budding romance between Andrea and Cassidy, and that she should keep her nose out at times. She’d taken a few well deserved days of vacation from work so that she could be there with Cassidy during the morning hours, when Andrea was at work. Cassidy had been grateful for the fun entertainment and company that George provided for her.

Gretchen was there with George as much as she could; she wished she could take time off from her cases and nurse her friend back to health along with her lover. Robie was also there, comforting Cassidy and listening to her voice her confusion over Andrea and their time at the cabin. Her work prevented her from being there on some days, but she called and let her know she missed her.

Cassidy turned to them and smiled softly, then she turned back to her apartment and walked in deeper, throwing the keys to the coffee table. She sighed. "I missed my place." She said quietly, turning once again to her loyal friends. "I don’t know how to say thank you for being there for me."

Gretchen shook her head and flicked her wrist in a dismissive gesture. "We wouldn’t be your friends if we weren’t here, would we be?" She retorted.

George grinned at Cassidy. "We definitely wouldn’t." She said, and took the bags into her bedroom. She came back out instantly.

Cassidy grinned, and went to her answering machine. She pressed the play button and waited while the tape rewound. Beep. Cassidy, this is Joel. Your friend Andrea called me and informed me of your sickness. Also, your doctor, ah… Doctor Simmons, yes… she called also. Take as long as you want, I have a few of your unused articles saved, and it will be okay. Just call me as soon as you get home. Okay, dear? Bye.

There were a few more messages from other friends, then:

Beep. Cassidy, this is Robie. Even though I see you almost every day, I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and that I hope you feel better. When you get this message, you’ll be home, and that’ll mean you’re much, much better. So call me as soon as you get in. A girlish giggle, and then a click.

Cassidy, Gretchen and George laughed.

There were a few more from Robie. Then:

Beep. I just wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time, and that I can’t wait to speak with you tonight. We haven’t had the chance. I’m cooking you a healthy dinner, like Ashleigh recommended, although it’ll be more delicious than it sounds. Well… I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you’re home, and… I hope you go to sleep, you’re still not completely recovered from your pneumonia. I’ll be there at about three thirty. A helpless sigh, and a final click.

Cassidy sighed and stared down at the silent answering machine, clenching her teeth and shoving her hands into her pockets. She felt shaken just by the sound of Andrea’s uncertain voice, felt a flash of heat enter her through her toes and release at her head, repeating its course over and over again. She gestured her friends to make themselves comfortable, and she flopped onto the couch, sensing the flush of her cheeks. She watched them sit beside each other and across from her, they held hands and stared knowingly at her. George was the first to speak. "So what are you going to do, Cas?" She asked, leaning forward in a no-nonsense gesture.

Cassidy lifted her hands to cover her face warily, not knowing herself what she should do. "I don’t know." She said, shaking her head in a helpless gesture.

George made a scoffing, exasperated gesture. "Unless, you don’t really love her," She advised. "You should know what you should do."

Cassidy shook her head slowly, letting her hands drop. "Let’s not talk about this, please." She whispered tiredly. She lifted her feet and lay down full length on the couch. "I’m so tired." She said in a very low voice, feeling her eyes drooping on her.

George stood up and went to her as Gretchen went to the room and fetched a pillow and quilt; she touched Cassidy’s face softly with a large hand. Gretchen lifted Cassidy’s head and placed the pillow underneath it, giving George the cover to place over her. She went around her lover and pulled Cassidy’s soft shoes off, placing them on the floor. By the time they were finished, Cassidy was sleeping deeply, her lips slightly parted in her soft even breathing.

They sat in front of her, and George wrapped her arms around Gretchen, resting her head on her shoulder. Gretchen ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead softly; she lifted her legs and rested them on George’s lap. They relaxed, and realized that they were a little tired themselves. They dozed off, holding each other tightly.

Two hours later, Andrea let herself into the apartment with Cassidy’s spare keys. As she opened the door, Gretchen was getting up from the couch and George was stretching and yawning. She could see the sleepy haze in their eyes, and smiled. She caught the long bundle that was Cassidy under the quilt, lying comfortably on the couch, and walked to her, kneeling in front of her.

She could see the black hair lying on the smooth forehead, and wanted to push it back with her fingers, but she didn’t want to wake her yet. She could hear the soft even breathing, and felt relief. She looked up at George and smiled. "How has she been doing?" She whispered her question.

George spoke in a low voice, a playful smile on her attractive face. "She’s been fine, ma’am!" She reported, straightening her body and mockingly saluting as if she were in the army.

Gretchen punched her lightly on the arm and George dropped her long body, feigning weakness. Gretchen pressed her fists to her hips and glared down at her with mock seriousness, then laughed softly. George lifted her hand, silently asking her lover to help her to her feet. Gretchen reached down and pulled her up, George pulled her close and kissed her warmly on the lips.

With a flush to her cheeks, Gretchen turned to Andrea, who was laughing at their antics, and said: "She fell asleep almost as soon as we got here. She’s very tired, Andy." She looked around at the floor and found her sandals, she slipped her feet into them. George was sitting at the edge of the couch and slipping on her shoes, groaning softly. Gretchen slapped her shoulder and grinned sensuously down at her. "We are going to go home now and give the shift over to you, Andy honey, and George is going to start paying some attention to me."

Andrea laughed, getting up to her feet.

She watched George blush and try to hide it, standing up and pulling up her pants in a butch fashion, clearing her throat and smiling her roughed smile. "Of course, madam." She said, bowing courteously. "Any time you desire."

Gretchen sighed, eyeing her lover from toes to head with such a heated gaze, that it seemed to radiate through the whole apartment. She approached George and inserted her fingers into the waistband of her pants, pulling her towards the door. "Come on, then." She commanded huskily. She waved at Andrea, and grinned in a happy way. "We’ll call you in a couple of hours." She said, and the two lovers left the apartment in a flurry of hurry and desire.

Andrea laughed in amusement. "Bye," She called after them softly. She turned around again and gazed down at Cassidy. She sat on the edge of the coffee table, and pulled the cover up to cover her better against any draft of harmful air. Then she went into the kitchen to start preparing dinner for Cassidy.

Cassidy turned onto her back, and yawned. She stretched, and opened her eyes a tiny bit. She realized the light in the living room was dim, and lifted her head slowly to glance towards the window. It was dark outside, it was night; the light was provided from the street lamps. She let her head drop and closed her eyes again, then she sat up and stretched again. Yawning again, she turned to drop her feet on the floor. She heard a faint sound from the kitchen, and her head snapped in that direction.

Andrea, she knew as she walked that way and smelled the familiar scent of her Oscar De La Renta perfume. She shivered, walking slowly towards the lighted kitchen. The sight of Andrea made her breath catch. She was sitting at the dining table, thin reading glasses propped on her nose, her hair loose and framing her face. She hadn’t changed her work clothes; a silk shirt pulled out of soft slacks. She was barefoot, her shoes sitting neatly beside her. Her hair fell over her face, framing it beautifully. She was reading some papers, most likely her students’ homework, the look of most utter concentration displayed across her features. Cassidy sighed at the stunning beauty of the woman she loved with all her heart.

Andrea lifted her eyes when she sensed the movement by the door. She smiled broadly, getting to her feet. "You’re up!" She said happily. "I’m so glad, I was getting a bit worried. But then again, you must be so tired." She paused and gazed into Cassidy’s eyes, biting her lower lip. She looked away, her eye shifting towards the stove. "I made you dinner."

Cassidy’s eyes followed her eyes and saw the broiled fish with broccoli on the pan on low fire. There was another pan, slightly deeper, with mixed vegetables. It all smelled delicious and inviting. "I am hungry." Cassidy said softly, her voice hoarse from sleep. She went to a clear area of the table and sat on a chair. "How many hours did I sleep?" She asked, keeping her eyes nervously away from Andrea.

Andrea fished around the cabinets for plates, nervously keeping her back to Cassidy. She placed them on the counter, and returned to clear the rest of the table. Cassidy reached for the papers, saying: "Don’t worry, I’ll set the table." And went about to do it. Andrea met her eyes for a long moment, and felt her body sway with hot desire. She turned away from her swiftly, and went back to the plates and the stove. She filled Cassidy’s plate with a mountain of everything, and put it in front of her. Cassidy touched her hand, and held it. Andrea met her eyes again, and Cassidy said huskily: "Thank you."

Andrea smiled shakily. "No need." She whispered softly. She felt drawn by Cassidy’s eyes, felt herself sway towards her, her lips aching for her full lipped kiss. She found that her breathing was changing, becoming slightly erratic. She pulled back, and gestured towards the food. "Eat."

Cassidy nodded and looked down at her food, smiled at the beautiful concoction, and looked up at her again. "It looks delicious." She said softly, then gestured to the seat in front of her. "But I won’t eat until you join me."

Andrea nodded, and prepared a plate for herself. She sat down across from Cassidy, and began to eat. As they ate, she was pleased over and over again to see the look of enjoyment flash across Cassidy’s beautiful features. Cassidy finished her dinner quickly, and practically cleaned the plate. "This was great." She said, pointing at the plate with a fork. Her eyes on Andrea were warm and smiling. "I’d forgotten what a great cook you are."

Andrea blushed, and stared down at the plate in front of her. She felt very awkward with wanting, and stood up and grabbed Cassidy’s plate. She placed both plates on the sink, and stood there, paralyzed.

Cassidy sat back on her chair, gazing up at Andrea thoughtfully. She wanted to appear calm, but her heart was doing somersaults and her body was calling for Andrea’s touch. She wanted to take her into her embrace and love her with her mouth and body. Andrea’s back was to her, and it was clear that she was trembling, her knuckles were white as she grasped the counter edges for support. "I love you." Cassidy wanted to say. She wanted to tell her that she loved her more than anything, that she’d give her life to her if she wanted to take it; but she bit her tongue, and said nothing. She stood up slowly, feeling her body cells reaching out to Andrea. She stepped up close to her, and touched her hair softly with trembling fingers.

Cassidy pulled the thick strands back to reveal the smooth white skin of her neck. Her breathing quickened, and she pressed her body against Andrea’s back. She heard Andrea moan softly, and her arousal gained ground over her thoughts. She kissed the tender skin there, placed her hands on the counter and leaned into Andrea, kissing along the skin of her neck, behind and below her ear.

Andrea couldn’t resist, she felt the wetness spread between her legs, thick Goosebumps break along her flesh. She groaned softly, leaning backwards into Cassidy’s strong body. She tilted her head back, and allowed Cassidy to fully kiss her lips; their tongues invited exploration, and caress. She moaned and turned to Cassidy’s embrace, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her closer. Their tongues, each inviting exploration, thrust against each other.

In a sudden hot rush of desire, Cassidy pulled back slightly and ripped open the silky shirt covering Andrea’s shapely torso and chest, sending buttons flying. She bent down, and grasping each thigh against her waist, she lifted Andrea up onto the counter.

Andrea gasped audibly, feeling a sharp spasm rack her body as the wetness soaked through her panties. Burying her face into the delicious cleavage, Cassidy felt herself loosing control of her senses, becoming only identified with Andrea’s body, being guided by her moans and desires. She grasped each round breast with her hands, and caressed them wantonly, hearing Andrea’s loud gasp of pleasure. She leaned over her, caressed a nipple over the silky fabric of her bra with her mouth, feeling it engorge against her tongue and the fabric.

Andrea lifted her legs to wrap them tightly around Cassidy’s waist, to pull her closer. She was delirious with sensation, her body acting on a will of its own. She reached behind herself, and unclasped the bra, stripping it off frantically. She groaned, flinging it somewhere, not caring where it landed as Cassidy’s searing mouth took a nipple in.

Cassidy’s hands, with a life of their own, reverently caressed the taut skin of her quivering stomach. They moved down teasingly towards the button of her slacks. Andrea moaned, thrusting her hips upward towards Cassidy’s hands. The sound of the button and zipper giving way sent a strong ripple of sensation running through her. She was aching for Cassidy’s touch, hungry for her silky mouth against her wet flesh. She leaned back, lifting her hips to allow Cassidy to pull down her slacks and pantyhose; she began groaning with fervor when Cassidy moved her head to kiss between her thighs.

Cassidy began a slow torturous downward caress along the smooth and shapely thighs, lifting each leg and kissing softly all the way to the ankles. Wetness flowing from between her legs, Andrea threw her head back and cried out her desperation and desire; she felt the sweat break out of her skin, and knew that she was ready. Slowly, methodically, Cassidy moved upwards along her thighs, opening her eyes to take in the beauty of her skin, slowly licking her way up; she could see the wetness trickling from Andrea's fount, she could smell the sweetness. She closed her eyes and swooned.

And without a moment’s hesitation, she sunk her mouth into the enticing heat.

The taste was incredible, the silkiness pressing against her mouth intense. She groaned, feeling Andrea’s legs glide over her shoulders, clasp around her neck. She could hear Andrea’s exultant cries, could sense her fingernails raking at her back. She suckled on the soaked flower of desire between Andrea’s thighs. The quivering of the engorged flesh pressed against her searching tongue was gaining momentum, becoming stronger.

Andrea convulsed, closed her eyes tightly against the pleasure, her body feeling as if it would disintegrate into pure ecstasy, her orgasm coming closer and closer. She clenched her teeth as Cassidy’s tongue moved in slow exploration over bumps and wet flesh. Andrea drew a sharp quick breath between her clenched teeth, another one, and then another one in quick succession. In seconds, ecstasy was rushing through her with a speed that was unbearably pleasing. She cried out over and over again, loudly, her body buckling with such force that it nearly threw her off the counter.

She was flushed all over, and her breath was coming in sharp gasps. Her hair was in disarray, matted against her wet face. Her legs fell limply from around Cassidy’s neck. Cassidy lifted her head and rested it against her thigh, feeling Andrea wrap her limbs around her. She pulled her off the counter, and went slowly down onto the kitchen floor, where Andrea made love to her in the same way.

The strength of her orgasms, recurring over and over, sent Andrea into an almost unconscious stupor in Cassidy’s arms. They lay holding each other tightly on the kitchen floor, completely nude, for a long time. Andrea’s smooth face pressed comfortingly against Cassidy’s soft chest, her arm around the thin waist beseeching in unconsciousness. Cassidy was semi-awake, and squeezed Andrea tighter against her body with strong arms, running her fingers through her hair.

Andrea woke slowly, stirring languorously against Cassidy. She opened her eyes and then closed them against the flare of the kitchen light. She turned her face upwards, and found Cassidy’s lips with her own. Their lips were softly pressed together, their mouths opened to allow silky tongues into awaiting mouths. Caught in the smoothness of Cassidy’s mouth, Andrea moved upward against the warm body pressed against hers. She pressed her breasts against Cassidy’s, and wrapped her arms around her neck, turning them over so that she lay above her. Cassidy groaned, and brought her hands to the plush buttocks; she could feel Andrea's hard nipples press against hers and a shiver of desire ran through her. Andrea pulled back slowly, then gazed down into Cassidy’s gold-brown eyes.

Cassidy gazed up at her also, overwhelmed by all of Andrea pressed against her. She studied Andrea’s features with aware eyes.

Her eyebrows were naturally thin, arched slightly at the ends of each. With wide beautiful sky-blue eyes below the dark brows, her long eyelashes seemed combed into perfect bows. A fine chiseled nose sculpted perfectly into place gave her, in her seeming innocence, a look of sophistication and perfection. But other than her eyes, what captivated Cassidy the most, what made her breath catch in her throat, were the beautiful full rosy lips specifically made for seduction. Slightly thinner, the top lip was heart-shaped, feeling perfect against Cassidy’s. The lower lip was captivating with its smooth surface; only a faint linear indentation going along its center from top to bottom indicated its fullness.

She was gorgeous and no one could deny it.

Andrea ran her hands through Cassidy’s long hair, pressing her fingers against her soft scalp and caressing. Cassidy closed her eyes to the tenderness of the fingers and sighed. Soon, she felt the press of Andrea’s lips against her own, and she opened her mouth to the silky feeling of her tongue. She couldn’t suppress the groan let forth from her throat, nor the flush of desire as it coursed through her body. She pulled back and took a deep breath. "Let’s go to bed." She whispered into Andrea’s ear, and felt her shudder and her skin warm all over.

Andrea brought herself to her feet, and watched Cassidy follow suit, the fine muscles on her back shifting. She took her hand into hers, and guided her towards the bedroom. They sat on the bed, legs crossed and facing one another. Andrea smiled at Cassidy with tender eyes, but Cassidy avoided her eyes. Andrea’s smile faded, and she asked softly: "What’s wrong?"

Cassidy finally met her eyes, and said: "What do you expect from this?"

Andrea studied Cassidy with loving eyes. "I expect…" She hesitated, and realized she didn’t know. All she knew was that she wanted Cassidy with all her being, and that she loved her. "I love you."

Cassidy remained quiet, staring down at her hands, then asked: "But are you in love with me?"

Andrea didn’t know. She frowned. "Why are you asking me these things, Cassidy?" She asked, Cassidy pulled away from her.

"Because I want to know. I want to know if I’m an experiment for you." She replied, making her voice remote, impersonal. "I want to know because I don’t want to be hurt if or when you marry Jeffrey." Her eyes watered, her voice turned thick. "I don’t want to suffer." Andrea opened her mouth to reply, but Cassidy cut her off. "I’m not saying things would change with our friendship." She lied. They’ll never be the same. She thought. "You’ll always be my best friend, Andy."

Andrea could tell Cassidy was lying; that there was more to what she was saying. "You’re lying through your teeth, Cassidy." She said, reaching out to touch her cheek, feeling dejected and hurt when Cassidy pulled away and turned from her, letting her legs hang from the side of the bed.

Cassidy closed her eyes against the desire to take Andrea into her arms and make love to her until they both couldn’t take anymore. "I’m not lying." She said, jumping from the bed and striding to the window. After a while, she suggested softly: "Do you want to stop this now, before we get in any deeper?" She closed her eyes, trembling, and thinking: You don’t mean that!

Andrea felt the tears break from her eyes. "You don’t mean that!" She said, in shock, echoing Cassidy’s thoughts. "You can’t mean that!"

She moved towards her, forcing her to turn around with a smooth hand on her shoulder. Cassidy kept her arms crossed, her face down-turned and her eyes closed. Andrea threw her arms around her neck, and pressed her body against Cassidy’s. "I don’t want to stop this, Cassidy." She whispered. With a feeble cry, Cassidy pushed her away, and left the bedroom in a flourish. Andrea followed her and accosted her in the living room. Cassidy was sitting slouched on the couch, Andrea sat astride her over her lap, taking her face between her hands and kissing her feverishly.

Cassidy couldn’t resist, she responded, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Their minds shut down, their bodies took over, and they made love, fervently. Teeth sank sensuously into flesh, tongues lapped against engorged skin, and thought was an undesired obstacle.


Jeffrey rang the bell to Andrea’s apartment and waited, soon realizing with a frown that she wasn’t there when he she didn't answer. He’d arrived very late the night before from his business trip, and wanted to see Andrea immediately. He missed her immensely, and wanted to be with her right away. But he knew that she would be already sleeping, for she worked the next day.

So he went at a time that he knew she would be there after work, but to his discomfort she wasn’t. He left, frowning and fingering his chin thoughtfully.

Andrea lay in the comfort of Cassidy’s arms, breathing deeply after an intense round of lovemaking. She pressed her face into the smooth curve of Cassidy’s neck, wrapped her arms around her neck tightly. She could feel the sweat drying coolly on her skin, her forehead covered with moist wavy hair. Beneath her shaking hands, - hands that were pressed against the smooth muscled back, - and pressed softly against the front of her, was sweaty taut skin. "Cassidy," She whispered against her throat, and kissed the skin there, feeling Cassidy shiver against her. "I-"

Cassidy pulled back and kissed her hard on the lips, pressing her tongue deep into her mouth and flicking it against hers tenderly. Andrea groaned, took her in once again, arousal exploding through her body in a flash. She wanted to talk though, but she found that Cassidy would turn away when she tried to talk about what was happening between them, and she’d make Andrea forget with just a kiss of her lips.

Later, breathing hard after another passionate session of lovemaking, Andrea sat up in bed, staring down at Cassidy. Cassidy lay on her side with her eyes closed, but Andrea could tell by her breathing that she was awake. "Cassidy, look at me." Andrea said softly, pleading gently. Cassidy looked up at her with wary gold-brown eyes. "Why won’t you talk to me anymore?" She asked, but Cassidy simply stared at her.

Cassidy sat up also, and crossed her legs, resting her elbows on her knees and holding her head between her hands. She said nothing, struggling within herself against the temptation to tell Andrea that she was very much in love with her. She then lifted her head and shook it. "I can’t." She said softly, her voice hoarse. She shifted back and leaned against the headboard.

"Why?" Andrea demanded. "I try to talk to you, and you won’t even let me. I try to tell you how I feel, and you won’t listen to me." Andrea felt the hurt she was trying to ignore, the feeling that Cassidy just wanted her for the intense sex that they shared. "Am I just something of an entertainment to you? Is that all I am? Are you not interested in knowing how I feel?"

Cassidy didn’t deny it, knowing it was easier to end what she felt was a mistake by lying. Andrea didn’t love her, she was sure; not in the way that she loved her. She felt Andrea tense beside her, and say with a hurt voice: "Is that all I am? A cheap thrill, something to give you gratification…" She trailed off.

Cassidy turned her face to look at her, and saw the tears in her eyes, steeling herself against the hurt in her heart. She watched stoically while Andrea sat staring at her, the tears sliding down her cheeks. "You are worst than a man," Andrea said bitterly, her voice hard, letting anger at Cassidy’s reticence control her. "You use your own best friend for your sexual gratification, for your satisfaction. You won’t even let me speak to you, just take me to bed and fuck me." Cassidy tried not to flinch at the words being bitterly thrown her way. Andrea was saying: "You took advantage of my vulnerability, of my need for closeness. Because Jeffrey…"

Cassidy exploded, shocking Andrea. "Don’t bring him into this!" She screamed, and scrambled from the bed. In a moment of fury, with a sweep of her arm, she slammed one of her beautiful chairs across the bedroom. Andrea stared after her, not moving an inch when Cassidy moved towards her. She leaned against the bed, holding herself up with her hands against the mattress, looking directly into Andrea’s eyes. "He doesn’t have anything to do with this, with what happened between us!" She whispered vehemently, allowing her dislike of him to finally show. Her skin was red with her anger, Andrea saw, and her eyes were blazing.

Cassidy continued through clenched teeth: "You weren’t thinking of him one moment you were here, with me," She pulled away. "When my fingers were inside you, when my mouth was between your legs." She turned back to the bed, leaning over again, and her face close to Andrea’s. "When I made love to you, like no one ever has." She stopped again, taking in Andrea’s increasingly aware expression. "You took advantage of me, you made me want you, and you were the one who didn’t want this to stop when I wanted to stop it! I asked you, a week ago exactly, if you thought we should stop. You broke down, you followed me. It’s all been you, Andrea." She was hurting inside.

She stood up straight and pulled away tensely, going towards her window and standing in front of it without saying a word for a long time. "I think you should leave," She finally said, quietly now, the anger seemed to drain with the sag of her shoulders. She sounded sad, full of despair. "You’ll never understand what I’m feeling in here," She touched her chest. "The pain, the…" Her voice broke with the dam that held back her tears. "I’m dying inside…"

Andrea stood up from the bed, walking slowly towards her, wanting to hold her in her arms, to comfort her. But Cassidy pulled away, as if sensing her nearness. "Just go!" She said softly, her eyes closed in her sorrow. "Just go… to your Jeffrey, to your straight life. I have no place in it."

Andrea couldn’t help the tears that were lining her eyes; she began crying. "Cassidy-" She sobbed; she couldn’t go, she couldn’t just go like that. She loved her, she knew. She knew that she was falling in love with her at that very moment when Cassidy was asking her to leave, pushing her away like a rag doll. "I love you."

Cassidy shook her head in disregard for her words. "And I love you too," She whispered evenly, but kept shaking her head. "But you have Jeffrey, who wants to marry you, who loves you-" She stopped, feeling her heart break into smaller pieces.

"More than you?" Andrea asked softly, wanting to hear her say No. Wanting to feel Cassidy’s strong arms wrap lovingly around her body and take her to new levels of love.

But Cassidy wanted to hurt, she wanted pain. So she said, not looking into her eyes: "Yes, more."

Andrea sobbed, stumbling back away from her as if she’d just been slapped, feeling her heart break like she never thought it would break. "You don’t mean that!" She whispered tearfully, and tried to look into Cassidy’s eyes, but Cassidy avoided hers. "You can't-" Her voice broke and she ran for her clothes, strewn all over the apartment, sobbing, slipping them on frantically and carelessly.

She gathered her stuff and left without saying another word to Cassidy, painfully aware that Cassidy had remained in the bedroom, not bothering to stop her. Cassidy heard the door close, her own eyes closing as two heavy tears slid down each cheek. She lay down on her bed, aware of the scent that belonged to Andrea, which was stuck all over her, the pillows, the sheets, the bed itself.

Which hung in the air, spraying memories into Cassidy’s mind and making her sob loudly, feeling her heart dying even as it pumped.


Continued in part V

Return to the Academy

Katia N. Ruiz

Comment on A Sweet Surrender on Anatheum