A Change of Heart


By Kawai

I’d just like to say thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story and read it. It took a really long time for me to get my mind on track after that last break but it’s finally finished. Hope you all enjoyed the ride. I sure did. Thanks again.



"Hey mom."

"Sweet pea! How are you? I wasn’t expecting you to call until the weekend."

"Yeah well uncle offered to pay so I jumped at the chance." Alex sat there in the dean’s office calling her mom who lived down in Florida. Since her uncle had so kindly offered to pay the long distance bills, who was she to refuse?

"You’d take anything if it was for free right?"

"You know it."

"I see you’re kicking butts up there huh?" Her mother praised.

"Yeah. I’m not doing too bad."

"I saw your name in that magazine. Saved it for you if you’re interested." She knew something was wrong with her daughter. Call it mother’s instinct or just that she knew her Alex didn’t call her out of the blue for no reason.

"Thanks. I didn’t see it yet."

"I hope your grades are as good as your bowling scores." She said it in such a motherly warning tone that Alex had to smile at that.

"Yeah actually they’re better then normal. My ah... roommate helped me out a lot this year. I’m actually getting an A in one of my classes."

"And how’s that going? You aren’t driving the poor woman nuts are you? Picking up after yourself?" Her mom could hear the difference in Alex’s voice when she mentioned the roommate. <Something’s going on there that I’m not aware of. Maybe John knows something about that.> Alex's mom always kept tabs on her daughter who doesn’t call nearly as much as she should through John Montgomery, the dean of the college and her brother in law.

"Yes mom. It’s been great. She’s the best person I’ve met in a long time."

"That’s wonderful dear. I hope I get to meet her one day. Why don’t you bring her on down for thanksgiving break. I’d love to have her and that boyfriend of yours for dinner. Tom is coming right?"

"Uh...We uh kind of broke up mom."

"What? When did that happen? He was such a nice boy."

"Yeah it was a couple of weeks ago."

"I’m sorry honey. Are you alright? What happened?"

"Yes I’m fine. We decided to be friends is all. Nothing major."

Alex’s mother could hear the lie in her daughter’s voice and took a guess at the cause. "Was there someone else you wanted to be with?" Silence greeted her on the other end. <Am I good or am I good.> She buffed her nails on her shirt. "Alex? You still there?"

"Um... yeah I’m here. What made you ask that?"

"No reason. Just a guess. I’m right though?"

<Guess it‘s now or never. This was the reason you called right? So just get it over with and take whatever comes.> She steeled her nerves and plunged ahead. "Kind of."

"What’s that mean? Don’t tell me they don’t know. You were never the shy type." Her mother chuckled.

"It’s kind of complicated. And they do know."

"Well what’s the problem? Do they not feel the same way as you? If so you shouldn’t waste your time on someone like that."

"They do feel the same way. In fact this person has changed my life for the better in a lot of ways. I don’t know what I would have done without he.. this person."

"Sounds like you love him a lot. What’s the problem?"

"I..I’m in love... with a girl...mom. She’s my roommate." Taking a deep breath she braced herself for what was coming next. But nothing came. Just silence. Letting out the breath she was holding she asked, "You’re not going to say anything?"

"Hmm... Guess your uncle owes me fifty bucks." She heard her mother mumble.

Alex was expecting yelling, swearing, crying. Anything but that. "What?" She didn’t know what that meant. <Maybe she didn’t hear me. Or maybe she didn’t understand what I said.> "No I said I’m in love with my roommate... that’s a girl."

"I know. I’m not deaf girl. So is that the problem?" She sounded so cool about it that it confused Alex even more.

"Aren’t you mad? You should be yelling and screaming at me."

"You know I’m not so dramatic honey. I think it’s wonderful you found someone to love who loves you back."

"That’s it? You’re just going to accept it? I don‘t believe this." She was dumfounded.

"Would you rather I start screaming at you? Besides I’ve had an idea that you might be gay."

"I...oh yo...com..Dammit you knew!?!"

"Watch your mouth young lady!" Her mother scolded. "How was that? Enough yelling for you?"

She wanted to laugh but things were just getting serious now. "How did you know?"

"There were some clues from your high school days remember? You started asking me all those questions and you commenting on who you thought was beautiful? That was a kind of big hint."

"Oh I didn’t even... so how come you never asked me about it?" Alex never did tell her mom about her high school thing with Kat so she didn’t even realize she was giving off clues.

"I wanted you to figure it out for yourself. But you never did come to me with it so I thought maybe you had changed your mind."

As the conversation started replaying in her head she had another question. "And what did you mean uncle John owes you fifty?"

"Oh did I say that out loud? Well you see John and I, we had this bet before when you were asking all those questions on who you would tell first? You didn’t tell him yet right?"

"Uncle John knows too? Why does everyone but me know this? It‘s my life and everyone knows before me. I don‘t get it. Stop laughing, it’s not funny." She could hear the chuckling through the phone. "You are just not normal. But I should have known that since you’ve always been this way my whole life." Alex was shaking her head. This was not going according to plan.

"Well if not being normal is accepting your kids for whoever they are or whatever they do, well then I’ll take that as a compliment thank you." A pause in the conversation came as everything sank in. "So was that the problem?" Her mother asked after.

Running her hands through her hair she let out a huge sigh. "That was only part of the problem."

"You going to tell me the rest?" Her mother asked after a minute.

"I love her mom. I’ve never loved anyone so much in my entire life...well besides you and dad but that’s different."

"I’m glad to hear that sweetie but you still didn’t tell me the problem." Her mother clarified.

"That is the problem. I love her so much that it scares the shit out of me. My head is telling me that I shouldn’t let things get too far between us. What if she breaks my heart? I don’t think I could recover from that again. But my heart is telling me to take the chance. I don’t know what to do."

"Honey, I’m going to tell you something that your father said to me when we were younger." Alex listened intently. She craved for anything that reminded her of her dad. Always begging her mom to see the old pictures of him when she was younger. "So listen up. He told me once that if you’re ever in doubt of what to do, you should always follow your heart."

"He said that?" Alex wheezed out.

"Yes. He said that as long as you follow your heart you’ll never regret it. It may be the wrong decision in the end but at least you’ll know for sure and it will make you a better person for it. You’ll always be thinking what if? if you don’t." Her mother paused a second before she continued. "Besides, if she can stand living in the same room as you, she must be extraordinary."

Alex couldn’t control the giggles that erupted. "Thanks mom. I think I know what to do now." She was already coming up with a plan. "I’ll see you at Thanksgiving okay? I love you."

Right there she knew this woman was good for her daughter. Alex had never had trouble showing her feelings but actually coming right out and saying them? That was a feat all in itself. "I love you too baby. Oh and make sure you ask...what's her name?"

"Michelle." Alex supplied.

"Well you make sure you ask Michelle what she’s doing for thanksgiving because I’d love to have her here. You could drive down together."

"Okay I’ll ask her mom. Thanks again. I shouldn’t have doubted you."

"You’re welcome sweet pea. I’ll see you then." Her mother hung up the phone feeling a whole lot better for her daughter. She was always worried about being so far away from her. But now she knew she was in safe hands. <Oh I can’t wait to meet this wonder woman!>

Alex quickly hung up the phone and dashed out of the office nearly colliding with her uncle who was just entering the outer office. "Hey Uncle. I’m all finished so you can go back in now." But just when she cleared the door she turned around and shouted, "Oh yeah. You owe mom fifty bucks. See ya." The dean didn’t have any clue what his crazy niece was up to as he shook his head and went back to work.

Running back to the dorms at full speed, she was totally out of breath by the time she got back. "Damn. I gotta start running more. Whew!" Heading up toward her room she was scouring the halls for Michelle but didn’t see her anywhere. Even their room turned up empty. <Susan!> Changing directions she headed down the hall to Susan’s room which also turned up squat. "Shit! Where did everyone disappear to. Everyone should have been in bed by now." Grabbing the first person she recognized, "Do you know where Michelle went? Or Susan?"

"Yeah I think they went to Venus’s for a couple of drinks."

"Um...thanks." <Venus’s? They had to go there of all places? Shit!>

Alex took a deep breath, kick started her courage and plunged through the door. Venus was a very well taken cared of bar. One of the best in the city. A little on the small side but some would say that's the best part, lots more cozy. As she looked around she noticed every one of the occupants were women. Since she knew it was a gay bar she was only a little bit discomforted. Without those two shots at the bar just down the road she’d be a nervous wreck. <Okay, I made it in the door and I haven’t been struck dead yet. Now what? > She started scanning the crowd for a certain someone.

Conversations stilled as everyone eyed the newcomer each asking themselves if they had a chance with her. But when the dark woman’s eyes landed on a blonde head facing away from her in the far corner surrounded by 4 other women, just from the change in her expressive blue eyes was enough to tell the entire crowd that her heart belonged to the little fair-haired woman. She stood there just watching her from afar and noticed that she looked terribly sad, like she had a broken heart. But the taller woman was determined to fix that. Taking another deep breath, she stumbled down the stairs towards her. But just as she was about to reach her goal, doubt began to plague her. <Can I really be what she needs? What if I freak out or something. I’ll only make things worse for her.> With these thoughts she quickly changed course towards the bar. Waving her hand to get the woman’s attention, "Bartender? A shot please.... make it a double."

"Sure no problem sugar. Tough night?" Setting the drink in front of the beautiful stranger.

"Ha! You could say that. Although I’m hoping everything will work out in the end." Giving a little smile she downed her drink. She stared at her saddened friend and knew she had to at least give it a shot. Almost as an afterthought she remembered something Michelle said, she asks "Does this place have karaoke?" <For Michelle.>

"Of course. Wouldn’t be complete without it."

"Susan what is it? Something wrong?" Michelle had heard the gasp that escaped her friends lips cutting through her depression.

Her curly haired friend had seen the dark shadow fleeing away from their table. <What the hell is she doing in here. I thought she said she’d never be caught dead in this bar. She better not be here to hurt Michelle again.> Looking back into dulled green eyes she answered, "Um... its nothing. Thought I saw someone. Don’t worry about it. Are you okay? We could leave if you‘re not up to this."

Seeing the concern in her friend she smiled for the first time that night. "I’m okay. I came here to think some things out. So enjoy yourself and stop worrying about me." She laid her hand over her friends. <Anyway all I can do is wait until Alex makes up her mind. I know if I tell Susan she’ll tell me she’s not worth waiting for...but she is.>

"Well I cant help it. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? Maybe I can help." Michelle usually tells her everything except what happened the other night. That’s really why Susan was so worried. They could talk about anything and now something that she couldn't talk about comes up which was scary to even think what it might be.

"I’m fine. And no I can’t talk right now until I figure things out for myself. But thanks, you’re a good friend. I just want to have a few drinks and listen to some music." A song started that she recognized instantly. "Oooh, I love this song." She started to sway with the music never once noticing everyone in the bar had gone silent.


Swaying room as the music starts

strangers making the most of the dark

two by two their bodies become one

As the first words were sang she recognized the voice and if her head wasn't attached to her neck it’d be spinning on the floor because of how fast she whipped her head around looking for the source. She couldn’t believe her eyes and looked to her friends for confirmation only to see similar jaw dropping looks on each of their shocked faces. <It’s Alex! My god! She’s singing. Please say you’re here for me!> The woman she loved was leaning against the bar facing away from everyone but slowly turned around at the next lines.

I see you through the smoky air

can’t you feel the weight of my stare

Blue eyes bore right into green as the connection was made. Alex was holding a beautiful magenta rose which she held under her nose and trailed it down her throat. Michelle's mouth went dry.

you're so close but still a world away

what I'm dying to say

is that I'm crazy for you

The whole bar sat in wonder at this spectacle unfolding before them. Everyone could feel the electric between these two gorgeous women.

touch me once and you know its true

I never wanted anyone like this

its all brand new

you'll feel it in my kiss

I'm crazy for you

crazy for you

Pushing herself off the bar, she slowly started walking towards the teary green eyes that never left her own blue ones in the far corner. She had about thirty feet to go. Laying her hand over her heart,

trying hard to control my heart

I walk over to where you are

eye to eye we need no words at all

Swaying slightly to the music she sensuously swayed her hips at the next line looking through her dark lashes,

slowly now we begin to move

every breath I'm deeper into you

soon we two are standing still in time

if you read my mind

Now only ten feet left to go, everything disappeared from view as she only had eyes for this beautiful blonde woman,

you'll see I'm crazy for you

touch me once and you'll know its true

I never wanted anyone like this

its so brand new

you'll feel it in my kiss

You'll feel it in my kiss

Michelle could see every emotion that crossed Alex’s beautiful face. Every wall that this woman had around her heart were gone. She couldn’t breathe it was so clear how this magnificent woman felt about her. In every word, in every gesture she saw...love.

because I'm crazy for you

touch me once and you'll know its true

I've never wanted anyone like this

its so brand new

you'll feel it in my kiss

Directly in front of her now, she kissed the rose and dropped to one knee while handing it over which Michelle took and kissed the soft fragrant petals herself.

I'm crazy for you

crazy for you

Holding out her hand, Michelle gently placed hers in the one beckoning her.

crazy for you

Bringing the precious gift to her lips she softly kissed the hand never taking her eyes away from riveted green. Hearing the voice dip for this last line a shudder ran through her body feeling the breath still right above her hand as the words were said.

crazy for you.

Alex stood while pulling up Michelle. The smaller woman’s arms slipped around the taller woman‘s neck loving the feel of the silky material covering her shoulders. Alex’s arm went around a trim waist while she still held the microphone in the other. The beat picks up and they both move as one. Eyes dreamily gazed into each other as Alex finished the last of the song.

its all brand new

I'm crazy for you

and you know its true

I'm crazy crazy for you

its all brand new

I'm crazy for you

and you know its true

yeah, I'm crazy for you

crazy for you baby

As the song tapered off, Alex whispered to the woman in her arms, "I love you Michelle." At those simple words Michelle’s world finally felt right. She locked her hands behind raven hair as she urged the head down. Standing on her toes their lips touched in a heart fulfilling kiss. Applause and hollers filled the little bar to where it was echoing throughout the streets.

Six months later...

"I don’t believe this. I’m finally going to do it. Do you know how long I've dreamed of this moment? Its finally going to come true." Michelle was so excited.

"You’re pretty sure of yourself. Don’t I have a say in this?" Alex was standing above her.

"Nope. You’re all mine. I‘ve waited too long." The smaller woman leered.

"Well I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I could still come out on top you know." Alex reminded her cocky lover.

"Oh please. With this body? You’d lose eventually. Better now then later." Michelle sashayed her butt for good measure as she turned to pick up her ball from the rack. "All I need to get is 8 pins to win. No problem."

"Don’t pressure out now. I’d hate to see you miss this." Alex really wanted to see her win once but she was never good at admitting defeat. What could she say? She liked to win as much as the next person.

"Oh don’t worry babe. It’s in the bag." Stepping up to the line she concentrated extra hard on her mark. Slowly walking to the line she let loose her swing and let the ball go at the exact moment her foot started to slide. As soon as the ball hit the lane she could tell she missed her mark. Using all her telekinetic energy she willed the ball away from the gutter it was heading for, hoping as the ball started to turn at the last second. There it went turning and turning till finally it hit the pins with a soft clunk as the pins fell into each other. 3 pins were left standing with one shaking on its edges. "Fall down fall down!" Michelle chanted while jumping up and down. A pin she hadn’t noticed rolled in a circle until finally tapping the wobbling pin enough for it to tip over for the win. "YES!!!" The smaller woman raised her hands in victory then bent on one knee to pump her fists. "YES YES YES! Did you see that? How cool was that?"

Rolling her eyes at the excited woman, she opened her arms for a congratulatory hug which Michelle accepted happily. "You did great honey. I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it."

"Thanks babe. Bowling is so much fun!!!" Michelle eagerly squeezed her partner.

"Oh really now. I could have sworn you were the one who wanted to toss her bowling shoes in the trash last week." Alex reminded her while kissing a pert little nose.

"That’s only when you lose. There is a huge difference when you win." She clarified.

"Ah. Well maybe you’re ready for me to switch hands now." She wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

"No way! After one win you want to switch hands and demolish me as usual? I don’t think so. At least this way I have a chance."

Chuckling, "Hey don‘t sell yourself short. You’ve come a long way from your 59. But you let me know when you think you’re ready okay?"

"Okay. But I just want to challenge the amateur for a while longer before I move on to the pro bowler." Michelle joked.

"I think your eyes would pop right out of your head if you ever saw some of the bowlers I have to compete against. Some of those people are really good. I’m just another fish in the pond... and a little guppy at that."

"Well I don’t care. You’re the best bowler I know and that’s all that matters to me."

"Thanks but you’re a little byist since you love me."

"Damn straight! And I wouldn’t have it any other way." Michelle wrapped her arms around the taller woman’s neck and whispered in her ear. "I really do love you." Which sent chills right through Alex.

"I know. And I love you too. Forever." Bringing the smaller woman as close as possible she sat back on the rail behind her bringing her eye level with the owner of her heart. The kiss was gentle and full of love. Any passer by could see the emotions these two shared and had to smile in response.

As they stared into each other eyes, a frown appeared on Michelle‘s face. "Alex?"

"Yeah?" She answered dreamily.

"Did you just let me beat you?"

"Oh don‘t start that again." Alex answered without knowing why while pulling Michelle back in for another kiss.


Let me know what you think? Send comments to Kawai300@aol.com.

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