Disclaimers: This story belongs to me
so I don't give permission for it to be posted somewhere else under
a different title, change in names or storyline.
Sex: But of course!
J
Note: There will likely be somewhat
graphic violence in this story, as part of it takes place during
war times.
If you'd like to tell me what a
wonderful writer I am or that I royally suck, feel free
at: XenaNut@hotmail.com
.
Zero Ward
by
Kim Pritekel
Part 17
Chapter 41
"Megan! Lunch!" Kate called out for a
third time. She had just finished making a pot of stew. Danni was
helping by setting the table for three. "Have you see her yet
today?"
Danni shook her head. "I've been in
my workshop all morning."
Kate sighed, concerned with hand on
hip. "I think she's depressed."
"Well, she's been in that room every
day, all day for the past two weeks. I'd say it's a pretty safe
bet."
Kate turned back to her stew. "I
don't know what to do. I'm really worried about her, Danni."
"Make her come out, Kate.
Make her rejoin life."
Kate turned incredulous eyes on her.
"Don't you have a heart? Can't you see that she's in pain?"
Danni sighed, crossing her arms over
her chest in irritation. "I can see that she's letting life pass
her by. I can see that her husband is off fighting in a war that
no one in this country wants, and there's not a goddamn thing she
can do about it. I can see that you are letting her slip
away." Danni tried to keep her voice low, but was failing. "Go in
there, Kate and get her ass out of that bed, make her take a shower
and eat something!"
"How dare you!" Kate stormed, her
frustration and worry for her daughter spilling over. "You don't
know what it's like to lose everything you had in the blink of an
eye," Kate snapped her fingers, "and to not know if you'll ever get
it back or if it's gone for good. To be left behind."
"Oh don't I?" Danni asked, her voice
low and angry. "If you think that then you're a fool."
Megan stepped up towards the kitchen,
shocked at what she was hearing.
"That girl is dying inside, Danni!"
Kate shouted, choosing to ignore Danni's words, knowing full well
she was right. "How can I be so heartless as to just drag her out
of bed and say, 'Get up kid and get over it. It's a new day.'"
"That is not what I said and
you know it," Danni accused. "All I said was-"
"What do you know about being a
parent, Danni?"
"Hey!" Megan exclaimed, entering into
the kitchen, looking from one to the other of the women. "What the
hell?!"
Kate turned away, ashamed that Megan
had overheard them fighting, considering it was about her.
"I'm not hungry," Danni muttered,
turning and slamming out of the house and back to her workshop.
Dead silence permeated the kitchen for
a long moment until finally Megan broke the chiseled silence.
"What the hell just happened here?"
Kate slopped some stew into a bowl,
her back to Megan. "How much do you want, Megan?"
"Mom, stop." Megan walked over to her
mother's side and stopped her dishing out food. "Stop." She
waited until her mother spared a glance at her, though she quickly
looked away. "What happened? There for a minute it felt like we
were back in San Jose and it was three years ago." Seeing that her
attempt at humor had failed miserably, Megan tried a new tactic.
"Should I go? I mean, am I causing a problem by being here?"
Kate let out a heavy sigh, her heart
even heavier. "No," she finally said, meeting her daughter's
concerned gaze. "No, you're not a problem here at all, Megan. I
just need Danni to understand how hard it is what you're going
through. I don't think she gets it, and it just got out of hand."
"Because of me," Megan reiterated.
"Honey, it's not that simple. It's
just two different perspectives that don't necessarily meet in the
middle." She handed Megan a bowl of stew. "Eat while it's still
hot."
Megan took the bowl and spoon and sat,
watching as her mother scooped her own bowl and joined her. Kate
had no interest in eating, but had the feeling that Megan wouldn't
touch hers unless she did. She used her spoon to absently mix the
veggies and meat together, her stomach reeling at what just
happened.
Megan studied her mother for a long
moment, able to see that she was about ready to break down and cry.
"I'm not worth a fight, Mom."
Kate didn't look at her daughter.
"Yes you are."
"You're not going to like what I have
to say, but I need you to hear me."
Kate did meet Megan's tired gaze at
that point. "What?"
"I heard a lot of that fight, and you
owe Danni an apology."
Kate's eyes got huge. "I mostly
certainly do not!"
"You most certainly do. Mom,
how can you say she doesn't know about loss? She knows as much
about loss as you do, remember? You may disagree with her stance,
but everything she said today was said out of love, not malice.
You were really unfair."
"She can't have a kid in her life for
six months and suddenly decide she's parent of the year.; it
doesn't work that way," Kate said stubbornly, shoving a spoonful of
stew into her mouth.
Megan could only stare for a long
moment, stunned. "That's so not right. You know that's not what
she was trying to do." She shrugged as she looked down into her
bowl of stew. "And who knows, maybe she's right. Maybe my pity
party has lasted long enough."
Kate slammed her spoon down. "Oh, so
now you're taking Danni's side?"
Megan rolled her eyes with a growl.
"This isn't about sides, this is about a fight that never should
have happened, and now you're being stubborn about it. I feel like
shit because all this is because of me." Her mother opened her
mouth to speak but Megan continued on, wanting an end to all this.
"That's fine, so I'll tell you what's going to happen. We're both
going to finish this incredible-smelling stew you made, then I'm
going to shower and you and I are going to go look at furniture for
the nursery. This kid is coming in two and a half months whether I
like it or not, so I may as well get ready."
Kate could only stare, recognizing her
own stubbornness in the set of Megan's jaw, and knew better than to
argue.
*****
Danni hammered the nails into the
bottom of the table a bit harder than was necessary, but she got
the job done. She turned the end table over, looking at her
handiwork and deciding where she wanted to go next with it. She
had an overflow of backorders for the store that needed to be
created, and she'd already been able to get three chairs and now
this table started and near completion.
She heard the door to her workshop
open and glanced up to see, to her surprise, that it was Megan.
She was freshly-showered and carried a steaming hot bowl of stew on
a tray with a bottle of Coke and a stack of Saltine crackers on the
side.
"Thank you, Megan, that was sweet of
you," Danni said softly, figuring Megan would turn and leave as
quickly as she'd come in.
"My mom's an ass," the girl said,
nabbing Danni's attention. "She's an ass and acted totally out of
line."
"Megan, your mom loves you and is just
worried about you," Danni defended.
"Of course she does and of course she
is, but that didn't give her the right to say those things to you
or treat you that way. I can't apologize for her, but I can be
embarrassed for her."
Danni studied Megan's face for a long
moment then a soft smile spread on her lips. "You're a sweetheart.
I'm sorry about the things I said. Like your mom, I'm worried
about you, too."
"I know that, Danni," Megan said
softly, walking up to Danni and placing a hand on her arm. "I love
you for it. And, you were right, and Mom doesn't want to see
that." She took Danni in a lingering hug. "She will, though," she
said into it. "She'll come around."
Danni smiled weakly, not sure how
she felt about what had happened hours before. "Yeah."
"Listen, Mom and I are going to head
into town to look at some baby furniture for the nursery. I can
see that you're busy, but two things: a. will you go with us? And,
b. if I get pictures of what I like, would you be willing to build
them specially for our baby? We'll pay you, of course-"
"A. I really don't think it's a good
idea if I go, and b., it would be my honor and you will not give me
a dime." Danni found herself engulfed in an enthusiastic hug,
which she readily returned.
"Thank you so much, Danni." She held
her at arm's length. "For everything." Megan leaned up and gave
Danni a kiss on the cheek, grinning when she saw the happy blush
that stained her cheeks. "You are so damn adorable. I have to go,
but I just wanted you to know all that."
Danni nodded. "Duly noted." She gave
Megan a winning smile and returned Megan's departing wave.
Left alone again, Danni felt some of
her anger leave her body, feeling somewhat vindicated by Megan's
visit. She also realized just how hungry she was as she again
spied the tray of lunch.
*****
Kate stood back as Megan took another
shot with her Polaroid camera. They had been to three different
stores in as many hours, and frankly, Kate was getting tired! She
saw the non-too happy sales clerk before the old woman opened her
mouth as she rushed over to where Megan snapped another picture.
"Can I help you, young lady?"
Kate watched wide-eyed, not sure what
to say in explanation: well you see, my female partner at home
is going to create handmade furniture using this style as a guide,
so wanted to steal images of your expensive furniture for her to
follow. Kate brought a hand up to cover her mouth at the
ludicrous situation.
"Hello," Megan greeted, all smiled.
"You see, my husband - you know how men are - had no inclination
whatsoever to come furniture shopping with me today, yet wants a
say in what we get." Megan rolled her eyes. "Men.
Anyway, so I'm snapping pictures of what I like so I can show him."
She leaned in towards the old lady, lowering her voice. "That way
I can get his credit card to come back and purchase an entire
nursery, and he won't even know what hit him."
The old woman smiled and nodded in
understanding. "A fine idea, Miss."
"Thank you. I was rather pleased when
it occurred to me as well." Megan smiled at the old lady until she
walked away, then snickered to her mother. "Sucker."
"My daughter is a scam artist," Kate
muttered, following Megan to yet another part of the store.
Walking through the empty space that
was the three-bedroom house that Megan, Rob and the baby would live
in, Megan looked at everything, not having been there since she
and Rob picked it out over Christmas, more than a month before.
"I think this place is going to look
amazing," she said, her voice filled wonder and hope.
"I think so, too. We can get all your
stuff moved in and out of storage," Kate agreed, bending down and
looking up into the fireplace. "This needs to be cleaned out, it
looks like, but I really don't think there will need to be a whole
lot of work done."
"I want to paint," Megan said, walking
into the spacious kitchen. "Do you think Danni will mind that? If
we paint?"
"Honey, this is your house," Kate
said, following her daughter. She peeked out the window above the
sink, which looked out into the snow-covered backyard. She could
easily imagine a dog back there, chasing her little grandbaby
around. She smiled as she could almost hear the playful squeals of
delight.
"I can't believe it." Megan leaned
against the counter, hands on the edge on either side of her. She
smiled when her mother met her gaze. "Are you going to talk to
her?"
Kate sighed, nodding. She knew this
was going to eventually come up again. "Yes, I'll talk to her.
Honey, people get into arguments, you know that. I've heard you
and Rob have a few."
"I know," Megan admitted, absently
rubbing her protruding belly. "I just hate to see you guys not
getting alone; it bothers me."
"Everything will be fine, Megan.
It'll all be just fine."
*****
Danni pulled the Jeep up to the
mailbox, intending to gather the mail and leave it in the Jeep
until she finished her errands around town, then bring it in once
she returned. However, when she saw the third piece of mail, she
knew she had to turn around and leave this letter on the table for
a woman who would be beyond thrilled to find it.
Back jogging from the house back to
her Jeep, Danni put the still-running vehicle in gear and headed
out into town. Yes, she did have some things that she needed to
do, but yes, she wanted to get away and not be home when Kate and
Megan returned, which she figured should be soon, as it was already
early evening.
She knew she and Kate's argument was
borne of frustration and concern on both their parts, but Kate had
really hurt her with her barbed words and accusations. Never in
her wildest dreams would Danni have guessed that Kate could be so
cruel. She wasn't sure what to do with that or how to fight back
against that. Fighting wasn't her style, and the fight earlier had
really shaken her up.
Kate's words kept haunting her:
What do you know about being a parent, Danni? Absolutely
nothing, and she knew it. Had she overstepped her bounds? Had she
been thinking the wrong things for Megan? Was she wrong? Megan
had said no, but what did Kate, Megan's mother think?
Danni stopped by Scoops Ice Cream
Store to literally lick her wounds with bubble gum ice cream in a
waffle cone. She sat by herself in the booth, wishing for anything
that Allison could be sitting there with her, telling her what to
do.
*****
To say that Kate was disappointed that
Danni wasn't there when they got back was an understatement. She
managed to be excited for Megan when they saw Rob's letter on the
table, though. It was late and Megan was tired, so she headed off
to bed, leaving Kate alone to ponder her day.
She built a fire, glad to have the
company of Healy and Anicka, the latter of which followed her
around the cabin as Kate performed her nightly rituals before
sitting in front a warm fire. She wished they had a fireplace in
their bedroom, as it would be amazing to cuddle up with Danni in
bed and watch the flames.
Kate sighed, a hand coming to her face
when she remembered Danni wasn't there. She'd had all day to think
about what had happened and ultimately, plenty of time to beat
herself up. She was wrong and she knew she was wrong, and now
Danni wasn't there to apologize to!
Anicka jumped up onto the couch and
plopped down next to Kate as Healy settled on the floor at her
feet. "At least you guys still love me," she murmured, running her
fingers through Amicka's thick fur. "Can't say much for your other
mommy, though."
Kate lay back on the couch, her gaze
wondering to the flames as her hand continued to absently stroke
Anicka. This was the first real fight the two had since Kate had
been living with Danni. She wasn't sure what had set her off so
badly, other than the plain and simple fact that she was truly
frightened for her daughter. Kate knew how hard it was to pull out
of that nasty darkness that can consume if it's allowed. She had
faced the same thing when Danni had left, and selfishly, had
assumed Danni would have no idea what that was like.
Selfish, indeed. Danni had told Kate
all about the days when she'd been on a road of self-destruction
after their encounter in the motel when Megan was 2 years old.
Danni knew all too well about loss and about what it can do, but
she also knew a great deal about pulling up from the bootstraps and
making a new life. Danni had done far more for herself than Kate
had; Kate had taken the easy way out by marrying George, and thus
sentencing both of them to twenty plus years of misery, ending in
George's death by his own hand. George certainly had his own
demons, but had Kate's weakness added to them?
Kate's self-recriminations were
interrupted by the sound of Danni's Jeep pulling up to the house.
Kate's heart fluttered as nervous excitement kicked in. She took
several deep breaths, repositioning herself on the couch a few
times, trying to decide the best way to look when Danni entered the
house. How could she best catch her eye?
After long moments with no Danni,
Kate's heart fell as she realized that Danni had gone to her
workshop. "Damn," she whispered. She sat there for a long moment,
trying to decide what to do.
Danni unwrapped her new hammer,
looking the tool over before she lightly pounded it into her hand,
getting an idea of the weight and balance. She hadn't necessarily
needed a new hammer, but had bought one anyway, a way to
bring herself a bit of comfort. She set the hammer on the
workbench and reached into the hardware store bag to bring out the
small containers of various kinds of screws, nuts and bolts and
nails of all sizes.
Giddy at her new purchases, Danni
walked over to her rolling toolbox, rolling it over to the
workbench and began to sort out the new hardware into the drawers
where they belonged. She removed the lid off the largest sized
nails, about to dump them in the corresponding drawer when the door
to her workshop was opened. She glanced over her shoulder to see
who it was; when she saw Kate enter, she turned back to her task,
her heart beginning to pound and stomach roil with nerves.
Kate walked over to where Danni was
messing with her toolbox, stopping just short of what her goal was,
and that was Danni. She wasn't sure what to do or say. "You made
Megan really happy by leaving that letter for her to find," she
said lamely, knowing full well that wasn't what needed to be said,
but the best opener she could think of.
"I figured she'd be thrilled," Danni
said quietly, her back still to Kate as she continued sorting and
organizing. She was hurt, dammit.
Kate chewed on her bottom lip,
uncertain what to do or say after that. With a deep breath and
shot of courage, she bridged the few feet between them and wrapped
her arms around Danni's waist, hugging her from behind. She closed
her eyes as she rested her head against Danni's shoulder. "I'm
sorry," she whispered.
Danni closed her eyes in relief at the
physical contact and the words. Even so, she needed more than
that. She remained silent, cueing Kate that she needed to hear
more.
"I had no right to say those things to
you this afternoon, Danni. I was wrong and I admit it. Please
forgive me."
Danni let out a heavy breath then
nodded, covering Kate's hands with her own. "I'm sorry, too. I
shouldn't have butted in."
"No." Kate turned Danni around to
face her, her hands once again finding a trim waist. "No. You
didn't butt in. You care about Megan and were trying to tell me
that." She reached up to cup Danni's face, able to feel the
working jaw muscles, as though Danni were trying to keep some
emotion under wraps. "Please, baby. Don't take any of today on
your shoulders; it was all me, and I can guarantee you that she lit
into me pretty good."
Danni gave her a half smile but then
it was gone. "I need to know what you expect from me, where Megan
is concerned. I know she's not a child, but if I have an opinion
or a concern, am I allowed to speak freely?"
Kate hated herself for ever making
Danni doubt her place. "I want you to. Absolutely, I want you to.
You have wonderful insight and a beautiful heart."
Danni let out a heavy sigh. She
forgave Kate, but she was still hurt. She pushed it aside, knowing
it would fade and wrapped her arms around Kate, holding her close.
She could feel the tension drain from Kate's body, and by proxy,
her own.
"Come inside with me?" Kate asked
softly, rubbing soothing circles on Danni's back.
Danni nodded. "Okay."
*****
Danni awoke to the wonderful feeling
of fingers running through her hair. She lay on her side, and when
she opened her eyes, she found herself looking into beautiful green
eyes, as Kate mirrored her position, facing her.
"Good morning," Kate whispered when
she saw that Danni was awake.
"'Morning," Danni responded, sighing
into the soft touches.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
Kate gazed into Danni's eyes, her own
scanning over the beautiful face and soft, relaxed smile on Danni's
lips. "I missed you yesterday. It really was a sucky day."
Danni's smile grew. "It definitely
was a sucky day. I got a lot done, though."
Kate chuckled softly. "Gee, maybe I
should make you mad at me more often."
Danni grabbed Kate and rolled to her
back, pulling Kate with her until Kate was situated on top of her.
"No, I don't think that's a good idea." She leaned up and placed a
soft kiss on Kate's lips before resting her head on the pillow once
more, her hands stroking Kate's back through her t-shirt.
Kate kissed Danni, lingering but not
deep. She rested her elbow on the pillow next to Danni's head and
rested her head in an upturned palm, looking down at Danni. "I
wish we could spend the day in bed; just being lazy and cuddle."
She kissed her again. "Maybe more," she murmured against Danni's
lips.
Danni hummed into the kiss. "That
would be nice baby, but we can't. Remember, today is the doctor's
appointment for Megan with that new OBGYN. She asked you to go
with her."
"Ohhhhh, that's right!" Kate
remembered, caressing the side of Danni's face, looking at her with
unabashed adoration. "You should come with us; Megan wants to see
if we can see the sex of the baby."
"I thought it was a girl?" Danni
asked, brows drawn.
Kate smiled. "That's what Megan feels
it is. No concrete proof."
"Do women know?" Danni asked, bringing
up a hand and running it through Kate's hair, feeling the silky
strands stroke her skin. "When they're pregnant?"
Kate shrugged. "Not always. You can
get a feeling, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're
right. I'm not sure what's actually feeling and what's actually
hope."
"Did you know? When you were pregnant
with Megan?"
Kate nodded. "I did. It was just
this deep down in your gut knowing."
"Would you have preferred a boy, or
were you glad to have a girl?" Danni asked softly, her other hand
coming to rest just under Kate's shirt at the dip of her lower
back.
"I would have loved a son, of course,
but I really wanted a daughter." As if on cue, there was a knock
at the bedroom door.
Danni grinned. "Looks like you got
one. Yeah?" Danni called out. Kate began to move off Danni, but
Danni held her fast. "Let her see that everything is okay," Danni
said softly, kissing the tip of Kate's nose.
"Can I come in?" Megan called back,
her voice muffled from the other side of the door.
"Sure, honey," Kate responded. She
felt a bit nervous about Megan coming in and seeing her and Danni
in such an intimate position, though it wasn't sexual. Even still,
she knew that Danni was right, as well as Megan needed to fully
understand and see the extent of the love and affection between
them.
It took a moment but finally the
bedroom door was butted open but a backwards walking Megan and two
excited dogs. Once she was through the door, she turned around to
reveal of tray laden with freshly-made waffles, eggs and bacon, as
well as two giant glasses of orange juice and all the trappings of
a good breakfast.
"Oh my god!" Kate moved to get up to
help.
"No!" Megan barked. "You stay there,
other than get your butt ready to accept this heavy tray."
Kate moved off Danni and sat with her
back to the headboard, as Danni did. Both looked on with shocked,
ravenous expressions. "What have you done?" Kate asked, deeply
touched.
"I've brought you make-up food," Megan
said simply, setting the tray on Kate's lap. She grabbed the two
napkins with a flourish and tucked one on each of their laps.
"Is that kinda like make-up sex?"
Danni asked.
"Danni!" Kate swatted at a grinning
Danni.
"Kind of," Megan laughed. "Now, it
looks as though the two of you were comfy cozy when I walked in, so
that's awesome." She stood next to the bed, waggling a finger at
the two. "I want you two to eat every damn bite of this food."
"How long have you been up cooking?"
Danni asked, snagging a piece of bacon.
"Since the little one here wouldn't
let me sleep," she said, rubbing her belly.
Kate grinned. "I remember those days
all too well." She patted the mattress. "Join us."
Megan sat on the edge of the bed,
stealing the piece of waffle her mother had just cut and liberally
jellied. She grinned at the surprised look.
"Okay, you can go now," Kate waved her
off playfully.
*****
Danni stood as close behind Kate as
she could without actually touching her. The doctor had already
looked at them funny since they'd been in his office. Kate stood
by the table where Megan lay, holding her daughter's hand and
watching as the doctor moved the large instrument around Megan's
swollen belly.
Danni's eyes were riveted to the
screen of the monitor and the alien-like images that swam across
the screen.
"You'll see ladies," the doctor
explained, a finger pointing to a blob on the screen. "This is the
baby's head, and this is the spine."
Kate felt her eyes welling up with
tears to see her unborn grandchild, even if it was hard to discern
what was what, regardless of what the doctor was pointing out.
She'd never had such an opportunity when she was pregnant with
Megan. She could feel the comforting presence of Danni behind her,
and she so badly wanted to hold her hand.
The doctor moved the wand down a bit
further. "Ah, here we are." He looked at Megan, a smile on his
wrinkled face. "You are having a girl."
Megan's smile nearly split her face
and her eyes welled. "A baby girl," she whispered, unable to take
her eyes from the screen. She felt her mother squeeze her hand,
and she squeezed back, wishing for all the world that it was Rob
who held her hand.
Sitting at a diner for lunch - Megan
off on one of her many restroom trips - Kate looked at Danni, her
heart heavy and wistful. "I want to have a baby with you."
Danni was surprised by the sudden
words. Her cheeseburger halfway up to her mouth, she set it back
down on her plate and looked at her. "What?"
"I do. I really want to have a baby
with you, Danni," Kate repeated, keeping her voice low so as not to
be overheard by the neighboring booth.
"I'd love that, Kate, but it's
impossible."
"We could adopt, maybe." Kate reached
under the table to grab Danni's hand. "You'd be such an amazing
mother. I feel like I've made you miss out on that part of your
life."
Danni squeezed her hand. "Baby,
everything happened for a reason. Megan wouldn't be here if things
hadn't happened the way they were. Besides, it never would have
been possible for us to have a natural child together, no matter
how much we would have wanted that. I do want a child
with you, but what about our ages? We'd be older parents, and I
thought you wanted to check in with the university for a teaching
position?"
"I do, and we are, but I still want to
at least give it some thought and some further discussion, okay?"
Danni smiled and leaned over to give
Kate a tight one-armed hug, no matter what anybody watching
thought. "Okay," she whispered into Kate's ear. "We'll talk more
about it."
Chapter 42
As the days became warmer and the
storms slowly stopped, Megan's belly grew and she lived on a steady
diet of Rob's letters, often sending him care packages stocked with
enough to hand out treats to some of the guys who weren't fortunate
enough to get love from back home. Kate and Danni would add their
letters to Rob's packages, all delighting in hearing back from him,
with all his wild stories and anecdotes.
Together with Kate and Danni's help,
Megan had turned the new house into a home, the nursery ready for
the birth of her daughter, which was due in less than a month.
Kate had talked Megan into holding off on finding a job using her
Communications degree until after the birth of the baby, so instead
Megan had taken Danni up on her offer to work the books for all of
Danni's financial ventures in Maine, including the store and all
her rentals. She was stunned at just how much Danni was involved
in, and what a savvy business woman she really
was.
Megan sat at the desk Danni had given
her in the office in town that Danni sometimes used to operate out
of. "Sooo, Danni?" she said.
"Yes, Megan?" Danni replied from her
own desk, where she was going over a new batch of orders that had
come in.
"Mom tells me you two have been
talking about baby shopping."
Danni's head whipped up, an automatic
smile of amusement on her lips. "Baby shopping?"
Megan grinned with a nod. "Yes. Baby
shopping."
Danni shook her head with a chuckle.
"We've talking about adoption, yes." She studied the girl
for a moment, trying to read her feelings on the subject. "How do
you feel about that, Megan? Would you want a little brother or
sister?"
"I think it's fantastic, really.
Gutsy as all hell, but fantastic."
"It's something we had actually
discussed a long time ago, way back in San Diego," Danni sighed,
tossing her pencil to the desktop and sitting back in her chair.
"But, you're unsure," Megan guessed,
both from Danni's pensive expression as well as what she'd been
told by her mother.
Danni rubbed her eyes and let out a
sigh. "I have some concerns, yes," she admitted.
"Like what?" Talk of babies brought
her hand absently to her own massive stomach, which kept her a good
distance from being able to fully sit flush with the desk.
"Like, do I want a child to have to
deal with the very unusual situation of having 'two mommies'. Is
it fair to thrust that upon a child?"
"Danni," Megan grunted as she pushed
back from the desk and pulled herself to her feet. She walked over
to Danni's desk, which was across the room. Danni quickly got up
and grabbed a chair for Megan to lower herself onto next to her
desk. "Thank you. Danni, there are miserable couples -
normal - couples who pop out kids like cockroaches, and
those kids have to live in that kind of environment: unloved,
unwanted, unfed, whatever. The baby that you and my mom raise
together would have the best of everything: mainly love. Honestly,
I think that alone would make up for any 'difference' they have to
go through."
Danni was quiet for a moment, chewing
on what Megan had said. Finally, she turned to the younger woman.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"What was it like? Growing up with
your mom and George? What was the household like?"
Megan thought about that for a long
time, both hands resting atop her belly. "Well, individually they
were both great parents, and though I was always closer to mom, I
was fairly close to my dad, too. But, together," she rolled her
eyes. "Forget it - not groovy. There was no sync between
them, you know? Like, they were definitely both flying different
paths. I can't recall one single time when I saw them think the
same or want the same things." She shook her head sadly. "It was
always a fight." With a shrug she continued, "Eventually they both
started living their own lives with me as the one and only common
denominator."
Danni absorbed this information then
smiled as she saw the familiar look cross Megan's expressive face.
"I put a fresh roll of toilet paper in there just for you."
"Thanks," Megan murmured, getting
Danni's help to lift out of the chair to and her over-taxed legs
and feet.
Left alone, Danni considered all that
Megan had said and all that she and Kate had discussed over the
past several weeks. She wanted so badly to share that joy with
Kate; in truth, the short time that Megan had been in her life, and
that Danni had acted on some level of parental guide, it had been
incredibly beautiful and rewarding. The thought of that with a
child who only knew her as one of two parents was
certainly an intoxicating one, but on the other side of that
beautiful token, she was scared shitless!
Danni had very little time to explore
that realization when she heard a scream coming from the bathroom.
"Danni!"
Danni shoved away from the desk and
ran at breakneck speed to the bathroom, shoving the door open. "Oh
boy," she swallowed.
*****
Kate nearly ran down the corridor of
the hospital, relieved when she saw Danni step out of the elevator,
where they met with a fierce hug. "Is she okay?" she whispered.
Danni nodded. "She's at seven
centimeters," Danni whispered into the hug. She took Kate's hand
and led her back into the elevator, pushing the button for the
appropriate floor.
Kate's heart was pounding. She took
the opportunity of the privacy to be held by Danni for the short
ride up to the fourth floor. Once the doors opened, Danni led Kate
through a maze of hallways and waiting rooms until they arrived at
Megan's room.
"Mom," Megan whimpered when she saw
her enter the room, relief flooding her. She reached out an I.V.'d
hand to her, which was immediately taken.
"I'm here, baby." Kate bent down and
gave her daughter's sweaty brow a kiss. "I called Rob's parents
and Grandma and Grandpa before leaving the house." She brushed
Megan's hair back from her face. "How are you doing?"
Megan took a deep breath, her eyes
closing and face scrunching up as another intense contraction hit.
Danni looked at her watch. "Oh god," Megan bit out, squeezing her
mother's hand painfully.
"I know sweetheart," Kate murmured. "I know. It'll pass."
Megan gasped as the pain began to
subside. "Shit," she panted.
"Three minutes apart," Danni reported.
"It should be soon then," Kate said.
"You may be lucky and not have to deal with sixteen hours of labor
like I had." She smiled at her daughter, squeezing her hand.
Just then, the doctor entered the
room. "How are we doing?" he asked, nodding acknowledgment to Kate
then turned his focus to his patent.
"Three minutes apart," Danni offered.
"She just had another one a minute ago."
"Very good." He set Megan's chart on
the sliding table. "Let's see what we've got here." Megan's legs
bent and spread, the doctor probed and measured. "Eight and a
half!' he announced with a winning smile to Megan. "We can
probably take you pretty soon, Megan."
"Okay," Megan breathed.
He looked up at Kate as he got to his
feet from the rolling stool he'd used. "Mom, will you be joining
us?"
Kate looked to Megan who immediately
nodded. "Yes."
"Alright. Let's get you suited up,
then."
Ten minutes later, Kate had pulled the
scrubs she'd been given over her clothing and hugged Danni tightly
to her. "I love you," she whispered into her ear, then let her go
to follow Megan and her team of nurses and doctor down the hall to
the delivery room.
Danni watched as her family made its
way down the hall, tears in her eyes as she was overwhelmed with
love and the strangest sense of acceptance. She turned and made
her way down the hall in the opposite direction to the waiting
room.
"Push, Megan. Push!"
Megan's face screwed up in pain and
exertion as she once again brought all the strength she had to the
surface and pushed with all her might, unable to breathe as she
growled in effort.
"Good, sweetheart," Kate said, her
words muffled behind the mask she wore. She held onto Megan's
hand, her own fingers squeezed together in a vice through Megan's
pain. She ignored it, instead trying to stay focused for Megan's
sake.
Megan gasped for air as she fell back
to the bed, her chest heaving with the effort. "God," she panted.
"You're doing great, Megan," the
doctor complimented. "One more and the head should be out. Ready?
Push!"
Again, Megan drew from an inner
strength and image of Rob and pushed with everything she had.
Tears rolled down her reddened cheeks, stark against the paleness
of the rest of her face. She cried out in effort, her voice
straining and cracking under the stress. "Rob!" she screamed,
which was quickly followed by the sudden cries of a newborn.
Tears sprang to Kate's eyes at the
first sound of her new granddaughter. "Almost there, Megan!" she
exclaimed, excited. "Almost there!"
"One more! One more, Megan!"
"I can't," Megan panted. "God, I
can't." She felt dizzy and lightheaded from the exertion and lack
of air.
"You have to. One more and
she'll be out..." the doctor exclaimed.
Megan suddenly saw an image of Rob
smiling at her, a sob coming to her throat. "Okay," she breathed.
"Okay." She'd do it for him.
It felt like an eternity since Danni
had first entered the waiting room and had taken a seat on the
thinly padded couch. She'd made a call to Carol and had read every
single magazine the waiting room had to offer, and still she was
antsy. She'd resorted to pacing, along with a few other expectant
fathers. She looked at them, so young and so filled with
anticipation.
"Danni."
Danni whipped around to see a
still-scrub-wearing Kate walk over to her, a tiny bundle in her
arms. "I'd like you to meet someone."
Danni' s breath caught and instantly
tears came to her eyes. She looked down into the tiny, swaddled
face of the most beautiful baby she'd ever seen.
"I'd like you to meet your
granddaughter, Christian Bailey Jamison."
Danni smiled through her tears.
"Isn't that a boy's name?" she asked absently.
Kate smiled. "I said the same thing,
but you know these kids today..."
Danni almost held her breath as she
looked down at the baby. "Can I... can I hold her?" she whispered,
looking like an excited child as she met Kate's gaze.
"Of course you can. Support her
head."
Carefully they exchanged the baby from
one set of arms to the other. "Look at you," Danni whispered,
holding the tiny baby in one arm and bringing up the other hand to
gently touch the softest skin she'd ever touched. "She's so tiny.
So perfect."
Kate leaned up and kissed Danni's
cheek, the best she could do under public circumstances. "Yes, she
is."
"How is Megan?" Danni asked, unable to
take her eyes off of Christian.
"She's sleeping. She did
wonderfully."
Danni looked at Kate and mouthed the
words: I love you.
Kate smiled. I love you,
too.