Disclaimers: This story belongs to me so I don't give permission for it to be posted somewhere else under a different title, change in names or storyline.
Sex: But of course! :-)
Note: There will likely be somewhat graphic violence in this story, as part of it takes place during war times.
If you'd like to tell me what a wonderful writer I am or that I royally suck, feel free at: XenaNut@hotmail.com .
by
Chapter 11
San Diego , CA 1943
Kate pulled her father's car onto a lonely dirt road, the car taking the bumps hard, jostling its occupants inside. Danni looked around, taking in the unfamiliar scenery they passed: dense trees, rutted and pitted road and an endless sea of wild and planted flowers. The air outside the car was alive with the sounds of bees and other nectar-gathering creatures.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“This is my parents' property. The house is about five miles over that way,” Kate explained, pointed off to the right. “My mother had this created years ago and then just kind of abandoned it. I've been coming here by myself for years.” She glanced over at her passenger, whose hand she held. “It's kind of a place for me to be alone or think. It's special to me.”
She pulled the car into a natural crescent-shaped niche in the way the flowers grew and killed the engine. She smiled over at Danni and squeezed his hand before releasing it so they could climb out of the car.
Danni followed, enjoying the warm, late afternoon sun that shone down on her head. She had to admit: having short hair made it much cooler during the summer. Even so, there was certainly a part of her that missed how she looked before. She often wondered what Kate would think, if she saw her as a woman and not who she appeared as now. Would they be friends? If she and Kate had met a year before, back in Nebraska , would Kate want anything to do with her? Would they ever have even spoken?
“Hey, handsome. What's on your mind?”
Danni was shaken from her thoughts by Kate's voice and her fingers entwining with Danni's. Danni looked into the beautiful, expectant face, a soft, curious smile curling Kate's lips. Danni shook her head, her own smile appearing. “Nothing. Just glad to be here with you.”
Kate stopped them and let go of Danni's hand, snaking her arms up around his neck, bringing them together. Her fingers played in the soft hair at the back of his head, her gaze boring into his. “I love your eyes,” she said, her voice the soft tone of a woman falling in love.
Danni returned the gaze, getting lost in all that she felt for Kate. “You know, for the first time in two years, I wish I weren't going off to war.”
Deeply touched by Danni's words and the intense emotion in his eyes, Kate pulled his head down until their lips met, the kiss starting with a brief touch of lips before it quickly deepened, mouths opening as tongue caressed.
Kate felt herself becoming more and more lost each time she saw Danni, wanting so badly to create a deeper bond with him. Danni was everything that she could ever possibly want in a husband, which was amazing, considering she'd never wanted a husband. She sighed into the kiss as she felt his arms encircle around her, pulling her closer into the tight embrace.
Needing more, Kate broke the kiss and took Danni by the hand, leading him into the field of wild flowers that stood more than three feet tall. It was easy to get lost in their tall beauty. She found a spot in the middle of the field and turned to Danni, looking into the magnificent blue color as she lowered herself to the ground, pulling Danni on top of her.
To say Danni was surprise would be a massive understatement. As she was pulled down, she barely managed to catch herself on her hands before she crushed Kate, who grinned up at her. Danni raised a questioning brow but said nothing. In response, Kate once again wrapped her arms around Danni's neck and pulled her to her. As they began to kiss again, Danni marveled at the feel of Kate's body pressed to hers, the heat of Kate's body nearly burning her through her clothing. Bracing herself on a forearm, she used her other hand to explore, running down along Kate's side to her hip then running back up, her thumb coming dangerously close to the side of Kate's right breast.
Kate gasped at the close contact, her body nearly burning her alive from the inside out. She instinctually pressed her breasts up against Danni's chest, needing to feel him and wanting so badly to be touched. She knew she was coming to a fateful decision, and though a part of her was fighting it, another part of her was begging for it. She truly had no idea which side would win. What she did know was that one side was certainly losing fast.
Danni was surprised when Kate grabbed her hand and placed it just under her breast. She wasn't entirely sure what Kate meant by the gesture, so decided to take it slow. She left Kate's mouth and began to kiss along her jaw and finally to the incredibly soft skin of her neck. From Kate's soft sigh and the arching of her neck, Danni knew she'd at least made the right move there. She moved her hand up just a tad, just enough so that the rounded underside of Kate's breast brushed against Danni's hand.
“Danni,” Kate moaned softly, Danni's hot, wet kisses along her neck were driving her wild. Her body was near screaming now, though Kate had no idea what to do about it, or how to precede to give it what it so desperately wanted and needed.
Danni could tell by Kate's restless movements that she was extremely aroused, which only added to Danni's own physical dilemma. She moved back up to Kate's mouth as her she boldly cupped Kate's breast, squeezing slightly.
Kate cried out softly in surprise and pleasure, burying her fingers in Danni's hair as she crushed their mouths together before pulling away, both panting from the breath-stealing kiss. She looked in his eyes, her own pleading and filled with desire. “Danni,” she whimpered. “I want more.”
Danni met Kate's gaze. “What do you want?” she whispered, her thumb brushing over an erect nipple.
“I want it all.” Kate kissed him again, claiming him. “I want you now.”
“Now? Here?” Danni asked stupidly, surprised.
“Yes.” Again, Kate delivered a devastating kiss, never so ready in all her life.
Danni knew what she was about to do was incredibly stupid and even perhaps dangerous, but she could never go overseas in a month and possibly die, never knowing what it was like to be with Kate.
“Okay,” she whispered against Kate's lips.
The kiss quickly deepened, turning into a desperate passion that hadn't been present in their earlier kisses. As the kiss continued, Danni reached down, gently nudging Kate's legs apart and tugging up the skirt of Kate's dress, moving so she was cradled between Kate's thighs.
Kate wasn't sure what to do, so she left it all to Danni, her heart beginning to pound anew with the slightest bit of nerves that crept up to niggle at her heart. She didn't know what to expect, but it didn't matter, because it was Danni.
Danni managed to get her belt unbuckled and pants unfastened and zipped, tugging the lie she bore free and guiding it to the immense heat between Kate's legs. She knew this was all new to Kate so tried to be as gentle as she could as she moved Kate's panties aside and slid herself inside the warmth of Kate's body.
Kate gasped and broke the kiss, her eyes closed as she concentrated on what was happening to her body. There wasn't a great deal of pain – as she'd heard from many of her friends – but there was discomfort as her body was completely inexperienced with such a thing. The slow process of entry stopped and she could feel Danni's eyes on her. She opened her own and looked up at him.
“Are you okay?” Danni asked, lowering herself to her forearms and using the tips of her fingers to caress the side of Kate's face. “Am I hurting you?”
Kate shook her head, unable to speak for a moment as she fully realized what they were doing. One look into Danni's eyes and she knew it was the right thing. She brought a hand up and cupped the side of his face. “I love you, Danni,” she said, her words soft. “I know it's crazy; we hardly even know each other. But I do, I really do love you.”
Danni leaned down and placed a soft kiss of promise on Kate's lips. “I love you, too,” she whispered, placing another kiss before she pushed up to her hands and slowly moved her hips, drawing a small gasp from Kate. Danni watched her face closely, looking for any sign of pain or discomfort. She kept her strokes long and slow, hoping she'd be able to give Kate pleasure.
Danni's time with Allison had been wonderful for sure, but it could in no way compare to what she was feeling as she was with Kate. The emotion that lay behind what she was doing was fierce and truly frightening in some aspects. With Allison, it had all been about pleasure and learning, but now with Kate, it was about giving and showing how she felt in a way that words just couldn't express. As Kate had said, it was crazy, as they barely knew each other, but the love Danni felt for Kate was real and strong.
She leaned down and kissed Kate, a long, leisurely kiss to match the gentle thrust of her hips. “I want to marry you someday, Kate,” she whispered into the kiss.
Kate wrapped her arms around Danni's neck, holding him to her. “I'd marry you in the blink of an eye.”
There was still some slight discomfort as unused walls and muscles were put into service, but there was definitely an overlying pleasure that was beginning to grow as Kate surrendered to the act, itself. There was part of her that could not believe what she was doing. She'd actually more feared the act of making love than she had looked forward to it. Never hugely curious about sex or men in general, sex wasn't something that was high on her list of priorities in life. But now….
Kate's eyes fell closed and her head to the side as her knees raised a bit, her body moved slightly with each stroke of Danni's hips against her. Her hands wandered from Danni's hair down his back a bit, able to feel the play of muscles with his movements. She was still a bit shy to explore too much, but knew that would come in time. Her breathing was becoming more shallow, her mind blurry as the pleasure built inside of her.
Danni felt her own pleasure building and could tell by Kate's breathy whimpers that hers was, as well. She added a little more power to her thrusts, quickening her pace as she studied Kate's flushed features. Her own eyes slipped closed as her release began low in her belly, building with each press of the phallus against her own body and into Kate's. She opened her own legs a bit, allowing the base of the contraption a firmer push against her.
Kate began to moan and whimper almost constant as her body and instinct took her. She had no idea on an intellectual level what was about to happen, but her body knew on a primitive level exactly what was about to happen and braced for it.
“Danni,” she whimpered, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt in her hands as her back arched and body exploded in an array of pleasure that sent a violent tremor through her body and left her breathless.
Danni quickly followed, her cry muffled into Kate's neck, her body convulsing with the strength of her climax. She held Kate to her for long moments, riding out the wave and desperately wanting Kate as close as possible. It took long moments before her world began to come back into focus, and she realized she must be crushing the smaller woman beneath her.
“No,” Kate whispered, pulling Danni to her as she felt him move away. “Stay for a moment. I need to feel you.”
Danni did as asked, though first gently pulled out and quickly tucked the ruse away. She straightened Kate's panties and dress, then lay back down, cradling Kate against her, though held most of her weight on her own forearms. As Kate clung to her, Danni almost felt like she could cry, a feeling of absolute fulfillment and completeness nearly overcoming her. After a long moment, Danni rolled over onto her back, pulling Kate with her until the smaller woman lay atop her, head cradled under Danni's chin.
Kate let out a happy, contented sigh, her hands curled up under Danni's shoulders. She could hear the strong, steady beat of Danni's heart and it made her smile. She could also still feel the strange, though not entirely unpleasant, slight burning in her sex, almost as though Danni was still inside her.
“So did you think this is where your day would end up?” Danni asked at length, running her fingers through Kate's hair, picking out a few sticks and dirt clumps in the process.
Kate smiled. “No. Definitely not, but I'm glad it did.” She raised her head and looked down at Danni's relaxed face. “Can you guys spend any nights off base?”
Danni felt a slight panic set in, but quickly pushed it away. “If we request it and put in notice, yes.”
Kate gave her a blinding smile. “Good. Me and the girls are moving into our house this week,” Kate explained, toying with the collar of Danni's shirt. “Maybe you can stay with me sometimes.” She shyly met Danni's gaze, searching his eyes.
Danni did her best to hide the growing panic and instead flashed a wide smile and a nod of her head. “I'd love to stay with you.” She cupped the back of Kate's head and pulled her down for a kiss, one that was filled with the laziness of a sated afternoon, as well as promise of a future.
The kiss came to a natural end and Kate braced her head with an upraised palm as she looked down into Danni's face. “Speaking of my own house,” she grinned. “Are you willing to help us move?”
Danni grinned back. “Absolutely! Tell me where to be and when, and I'm yours.”
Kate leaned down again, her lips a hair's breadth from Danni's. “I thought you already were mine.”
Without verbal response, Danni pulled Kate to her.
*****
Wayne , Nebraska 1943
Allison accepted the mail from the postman with a flirtatious smile then carried it inside and up to her bedroom. She saw she had a letter from Daniel Felts and was excited to see what adventures her little Danni had gotten herself into now. She plopped down on the padded bench seat in front of her vanity and tore into the envelope, pulling out the thrice folded page.
Dearest Allison,
I'm sure you're as beautiful as ever. I must say, I'm so grateful for that last day and night together, before I left for boot camp, and then again before I left for San Diego . You taught me so much and I'm very grateful for it. I've met a girl out here that I'm falling deeply in love with, and am in a bit of a pickle. We've been ‘together', but now she wants me to spend the night and Allison, I'm scared! I know I'll have to tell her the truth, and I don't know how to do that. She'll hate me, I just know it.
Allison dropped the letter onto her lap, her eyes closing in sympathy for her friend and former lover and employee. “Oh, Danni,” she sighed. “What have you gotten yourself into?” She picked up the letter and continuing to read further about Danni's training and those around her. After finishing the letter, she removed a couple pieces of personalized stationary from her vanity drawer and began a return missive, much like she'd done many times before.
Chapter 12
San Jose , CA 1968
Carol had hoped this day would never come, but knew that it had to if she and Kate were ever to find some peace and true friendship again. She sat at Kate's kitchen table, a cup of coffee cupped between her palms as she stared down into the brown depths of the liquid within. Clearing her throat, she glanced up at her friend and one-time best friend.
“You never told me that story,” she said softly. She blew out a breath as she sipped her coffee. “What a beautiful way to lose your virginity.”
Kate sat across from Carol, her own cup of coffee in front of her. “You never gave me a chance, Carol. We moved into the house and then things happened so fast. I wanted to tell you, but…”
“I know,” Carol admitted, shoving the unwanted drink away from her. “I was an ass and I can't apologize enough for it.” She blew out a breath and grabbed her pack of cigarettes, tugging one out before lighting it. “Definitely an ass,” she blew out, along with smoke from her lungs. She flicked some ash off the end of her smoke for something to do rather than actually needing to do so. Finally, she met Kate's gaze. “Tell me more. The two of you made love in the flowers and then what?”
Kate let out a long sigh, staring into a yesterday that she had had regrets about for far too long. “And then I fell in love and then I was stunned.”
*****
San Diego , CA 1943
Danni quickly finished her letter to Allison, forgetting the exact address, so grabbed one of Allison's old letters to her so she could plug in the rest of the address later. She knew she and Mike had to hurry, as they were supposed to be at Carol's house within minutes.
“You read or not, man?” Mike asked, tugging on a white t-shirt after his shower.
“Yeah, just about,” Danni said, finishing her salutation to Allison and stuffing the letter into an envelope, to be addressed later. She pushed up from her bunk and grabbed her sunglasses. “Don't let me forget to drop these off at the Post Office later,” she said, hurrying out the door after Mike, letters in hand.
“You got it, man,” Mike said. He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, producing a bottle of whiskey, tossing an evil grin at Danni.
“You're bad, guy,” Danni chuckled.
Mike pulled up in front of Carol's house and shoved the unopened bottle of liquor under the seat, glancing at Danni before they headed out, ready to help.
*****
Mike, followed by Danni, carried in the last of the boxes that contained the possessions of the four young women who had moved into the house on Cherry Lane, each of them college students in a matter of weeks. It had been an all day affair, each woman seeming to have an endless supply of things, all packed in heavy parcels, the men expected to lug the brunt of the move.
Danni made her way into Kate's room, which was filled with stacked boxes and crates, so glad that it was the last of a long day's worth. She was dressed in loose pants and a white undershirt, sweat plastering her bangs to her forehead and making her smell like a Navy barracks. A giddy Kate didn't seem to mind as she stepped up behind her and wrapped her arms around a slender waist.
“I'm so happy,” she said, head resting against Danni's upper back.
Danni set her load on top of the dresser then turned in the embrace and hugged Kate to her, reveling in the contact. “Do I smell good?” she teased, knowing full well she was sweaty and gross.
Kate took a deep breath then pushed away, teasing as she wrinkled her nose. “Ew!”
Danni laughed, tugging Kate back to her and burying her face in a sweaty armpit. She laughed outright as Kate pushed her away, truly disgusted now. “Hey, it's because of your stuff that I smell this way, woman!”
Kate wiped at her nose, trying to get the smell out even as she glared at Danni, who continued to laugh. “You are not a nice person.”
“Oh, but you love me anyway,” Danni laughed, leaning in to give Kate a quick kiss on the lips. She grabbed the box she'd set down and looked at Kate for direction. “Is there any particular stack of boxes this one should go onto?”
“Ha ha, very funny.” Kate pointed to a random stack. “You can put it there, thank you very much.”
Danni did as asked then turned back to Kate, hands on narrow hips. “What's for dinner?”
“Oh, I see. I tell you I love you and you're already barking out orders like the happy hubby, huh?”
Danni laughed, loving Kate's feisty spirit. “You got it.”
Kate sauntered over to Danni, giving her a look that would melt the coldest of hearts. “Well,” she purred, wrapping her arms around Danni's neck. “I guess you did work hard today.”
Danni lowered her head and they shared a deep kiss, only interrupted by someone clearing their throat at the doorway of the small bedroom. They both looked up to see an amused Carol watching them, arms crossed over her chest.
“Yes, Carol?” Kate asked, not moving away from Danni, as she planned on continuing where they'd left off before the interruption.
“We're all thinking about grilling some steaks and making some drinks. You two love birds interested?”
“Sure,” Danni nodded, “only if I can take a shower first.”
Carol smirked. “Take a number. Mike beat you to it.”
“We're such slave drivers,” Kate quipped, popping a quick kiss to Danni's lips before letting her hands slide down his chest. She stopped, brows furrowing when she felt something there. “What's this?” she asked, fingering some sort of material that was wrapped around him under his shirt.
Danni grabbed Kate's wrists, trying to keep her panic out of the movement and out of her eyes as she did her best to play it off. “I got hurt during training so the doc has me all bandaged.” She shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “Bruised ribs.”
“Oh. I'm sorry.” Kate leaned down and placed a kiss just under Danni's left breast, no idea that she was sending Danni's heart pounding for a variety of reasons. “All better.” She smiled, completely unawares, up at Danni then walked away from him, digging out a towel for him out of one of her boxes.
Danni closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths as she tried to get her heart rate under control. She knew in her gut it was only a short matter of time before she'd have to either come clean with Kate or leave her life, which for Danni, wasn't an option. Yes, she'd be leaving in a month, but the way things were speeding along, she wouldn't be able to resist Kate for long, and the truth would have to come out.
“Here you go, love,” Kate said, returning to Danni with a towel in hand. She looked up at Danni's troubled face, a splinter of worry piercing her happy bubble. “Everything okay?”
Danni studied Kate's face for a long moment, contemplating her options. Should she invite the blonde into the bathroom with her and show her? Get it over with, and come what may?
“Danni?” Kate said, becoming more concerned by the moment. “You're starting to scare me. What is it?” She reached up and cupped the side of Danni's face. “You look like you're about to cry.”
Danni could see that she was causing Kate concern and pain, and she decided she couldn't cause her more. She forced a smile and took Kate in a tight hug. “I'm sorry,” she said into her hair, leaving a kiss behind her words. “I'm gonna go shower, now.”
“Okay.” Kate watched him go, a tickle of dread in her gut. She walked out of her bedroom only to nearly run smack into Carol.
“Come with me,” Carol said, tugging on Kate's hand and hurrying them outside. “Go to Mike's car and grab the bottle of booze hidden under the seat,” Carol barked, running over to her own car to grab a little stash of her own.
Kate did as she was asked, opening the passenger-side door, her gaze immediately landing on a folded letter and sealed envelope that sat on the seat. Curious, she unfolded the letter, brows furrowing when she saw Dearest Danielle written across the top in beautiful, flowing script. She perched on the seat as she scanned the letter's contents:
… our night together was incredible …
… if I were a little younger, I could easily fall in love with you …
… most beautiful breasts I've ever seen …
… When are you coming home to me for more?
The letter was signed, Allison. Kate felt sick to her stomach. She picked up the sealed envelope and saw that it was addressed from Danni Felts with Danni's base address written beneath. It was addressed to Allison Hughes, though the address was missing. Kate glanced over the letter's contents again, baffled and feeling in her gut something was very wrong.
“Did you get it?” Carol asked, interrupting her friend's dismay.
“Huh?” Kate asked, startled.
“Did you get it?” Carol asked again, studying her friend's face. “Geez, you look like you've seen a ghost. You okay?”
“Yeah!” Kate said, forcing a smile. She had no desire to tell Carol what she'd found. “Sorry, here.” She blindly reached under the bench seat, quickly feeling the smooth glass of the bottle and handing it to Carol.
“Great. Let's have some fun!”
The four roommates, Mike and Danni ate the steaks Mike had grilled for everyone, and the alcohol flowed freely. All were having a great time, except Kate and Danni, who had no idea their mood wasn't so very far apart. Danni did her best to force herself to be social and not dwell on her upcoming decision where Kate was concerned, but in truth, it was all she could think about.
The evening began to come to wind down, Helen leaving to go out on a date with her new boyfriend, Trudy heading off to bed and Carol and Mike heading to Carol's bedroom, Kate and Danni were left, as they agreed to finish cleaning up the night's mess. Danni glanced over at Kate several times, noting the blonde hadn't looked over at her once during the entire night.
“What's wrong?” she asked, stepping over to where Kate was rinsing the last washed plate of soap. “Kate?” She reached out and touched Kate's shoulder, only to have Kate move away from her. Danni's heart was pounding, fear popping up in a cold sweat down her spine and between her bandaged breasts.
Kate was literally biting her tongue, trying to keep the rage in that had been building since she'd found the letters in Mike's car. Finally, she knew she couldn't keep it in any longer. “Who's Allison, Danni and why the hell does she call you Danielle?”
Danni's jaw nearly hit the floor, as this was the last thing she was expecting to hear come out of Kate's mouth. “What?”
“I saw the letter she wrote to you when I went to get the whiskey out of Mike's car. “Who is she, Danni?” Kate nearly yelled, her rage, jealousy and confusion fully hitting the surface.
Danni swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat. Here we go. “Let's go outside, okay?”
“I don't want to go outside! I want to know who she is!”
“And I'll tell you, but outside.” Not waiting, Danni slammed out the front door. There was no way in hell she was going to talk to Kate about this in a house filled with their friends. There may be a chance one of them could overhear and a small chance that Kate wouldn't tell them.
No other choice if she wanted to know the truth, Kate followed, the front door slamming shut behind her. She stormed over to where Danni stood in the driveway, crossing her arms over her chest, almost to protect herself from what she might hear. She glared up at Danni, who was pale and visibly shaken. For a moment, Kate wanted to go to him and comfort him, but something inside told her to stay put and to stay strong.
“Allison is a family friend back home,” Danni said softly, dropping any and all pretense. The deeper voice that she used as Daniel Felts was gone, leaving behind a frightened, vulnerable woman in his wake.
“A family friend?” Kate said, incredulous. “One who comments on what an amazing night the two of you shared, and that she could fall in love with you?”
Danni nodded, eyes downcast. “There's nothing there, Kate. We did share that time together before I left for boot camp and then before I came out here.” Sad blue eyes met angry green. “Nothing more.”
“Who's Danielle and why did she call you that? And why did she talk about these amazing breasts that Danielle has?”
Danni swallowed more rising bile and took a deep breath, making herself meet Kate's fiery gaze. “Danielle is me, Kate.”
Kate stared up at Danni blankly, the information she'd just been given not computing. “What?”
“My name is Danielle Felts, the only daughter born to William and Ruth Felts of Wayne, Nebraska.” Danni was shocked at the feeling of relief that the truth was out, but was terrified of what consequences that may bring down upon her, worst of which Kate would never want to see her or speak to her again.
Kate felt as though she'd just been punched in the stomach and literally had to take a step backwards or fall to the ground. A hand came up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. “I think you should go now,” she whispered, taking another step back. “Please.”
Danni nodded, grateful Mike kept his keys under the visor in his car. “Okay.” She turned towards the car then stopped, turning back towards where Kate was headed to the house. “Kate?” she called out, intending to tell Kate she loved her, one last time. The profound sorrow she saw in Kate's eyes told her not to go there. “Tell Mike I'll be back for him in the morning.”
Kate nodded, then headed inside.
Danni climbed in behind the wheel and started the engine, glancing over at the letters and blowing out a heavy breath. “I guess that's that,” she murmured to the empty car, then pulled away from the curb, finding a spot near the beach to spend the night in the car.
*****
Unable to sleep, Kate sat in the window seat in her small bedroom and stared out into the moonlit night. She brought her legs up, hugging them to her chest as she rested her chin on her knees. She had been sitting there for several hours already, pretty much since Danni had left. Danni. Daniel. Danielle. Kate let out a deep sigh, her eyes stinging from tears that had fallen earlier. Though they had stopped, the hurt and confusion and sense of betrayal had not.
She knew in her heart that she did deeply love Danni, and no one had ever made her feel as he … she, did. Danni was kind, generous and deeply loving. Kate sensed all of that was the true Danni Felts, man or woman. Woman. That word kept bouncing around in her brain over and over again. Danni was a woman. In so many ways it made sense: Danni's incredibly beautiful face, only made handsome by the mere fact as a male, she was supposed to be handsome, not beautiful.
She felt like such a fool as she thought back over all the red flags that had been there since day one. She thought about Danni's hands: though strong and roughened from a lifetime of hard work on a farm, there was something decidedly delicate and feminine about them. Even her build spoke of the woman beneath the façade. And then there was the bandage wrap that Kate had discovered earlier that very day. Bruised ribs, Danni had said. Kate had decided to ignore the fact that ribs were actually lower, and now realized that likely that bandage was actually helping to keep Danni's secret, and were flattening those very breasts that Allison spoke of in her letter.
“Breasts,” Kate whispered, burying her face in her hands.
That, of course led her back to the most amazing moments of her life, spent with Danni in that field of flowers. They had made love, and there was no way to deny or fake that fact. How could that have been? What on earth had Danni done in order to achieve that? Suddenly, she felt the tears return anew, feeling as though a piece of her very soul had been ripped away, a piece that had been filled the night she'd met Danni Felts.
Chapter 13
Danni woke up with a painful pop in her back. She groaned and pushed up from where she'd curled up – as best she could – in the front seat of Mike's car. Her back hurt, her neck hurt, but most of all, her heart hurt. She'd lain awake for most the night until finally she'd drifted off from sheer exhaustion. Now, she had to head back to Kate's house and pick up her friend.
She blew out a breath and looked at herself in the rearview mirror. She had heavy bags under her eyes and she was pale. In truth, she felt like she could vomit, but knew she had to continue on, and whatever would happen would happen, no matter what she might think or want.
The house was quiet when Danni pulled into the drive. She noticed Carol's car was gone as she turned off the engine and sat behind the wheel for a long moment, trying to decide what to do. She could simply toot the horn, letting Mike know she was there, but then that would lead to questions of why she hadn't just gone in to get him. There would be enough questions on why she'd left at all.
She reached for the door handle and was about to push open the door when she saw the front door open and Kate step out onto the stoop. She met Danni's gaze through the windshield and gave Danni a ghost of a smile before stepping back into the house, leaving the door open behind her.
“Here we go,” Danni breathed, then climbed out of the car.
She made her way to the front door and stepped inside, looking around the box-filled living room, expecting to see Mike waiting for her. All she saw was Kate, dressed in a belted bathrobe with her arms hugging herself. Danni met her tired gaze. It didn't seem Kate had had any better luck sleeping than she had.
“Is he ready to go?” she asked softly.
“Mike isn't here,” Kate said, letting out a heavy sigh. “Nobody is.”
“Oh. Alright.” Danni turned to leave but stopped at the sound of Kate's voice.
“I sent everyone away so we could talk.”
“Okay.” Danni stayed where she was, not sure what she was supposed to do.
After a moment of awkward silence, Kate spoke. “Can I get you something to eat? Some breakfast?”
“No,” Danni said softly. “I'm not so sure anything would stay down at this point.”
Kate gave her a very small smile and nodded. “I understand. Okay, then let's talk, I guess.” She made her way over to the couch and sat down, careful to make sure her robe stayed closed and that she was covered, even though she wore her nightgown beneath the green garment.
Danni sat next to her, making sure there was adequate space between them. She had no desire to make Kate feel anymore pain or discomfort than she already had. “What would you like to start with, Kate?”
“Good question,” Kate said, followed by a heavy sigh. “I guess first and foremost is, why?”
“That's a very simple answer. I wanted to do something important with my life, and what I wanted to do, I couldn't do as a female.” She met Kate's gaze, as she had nothing to hide in her answer. “I did it out of necessity, not to fool anybody or cause anybody pain.”
“Why did you never tell me the truth?” Kate asked, feeling more emotion threaten to rise, so she did her best to push it down. She needed to get this all out, not cry again. “You made me fall in love with a lie, Danni. Or, should I call you Danielle?”
“I've been Danni all my life, Kate. It had nothing to do with any of this. And, you weren't the only one who fell in love.” Danni's eyes fell now, no longer able to meet Kate's demanding gaze. She felt like her heart was breaking, and didn't want Kate to see that. “I never meant to hurt you, and never meant to lie. It just… happened.”
Kate flopped back against the couch, her gaze fixed on the front window, even though all she saw was various memories of her time with the woman sitting next to her. “All night all I could think about was the time we spent together.” Her laugh was rueful. “And how I think I saw it all along, though I wasn't entirely sure what exactly I was seeing.” She looked at Danni, who still looked down at her own hands. “I called you beautiful, Danni.” Danni looked up and met her gaze. “And I meant it. Guess I should have known.” Kate's gaze wandered over Danni's face, seeing her for what and who she truly was, for the very first time. “God, you are so beautiful,” she whispered.
Danni wasn't sure what to say, so she said nothing, just continued to meet Kate's gaze, though she had to force herself to do it.
“Do you love her?” Kate asked, her voice small and insecure.
Confused, Danni's brows drew. “Who?”
“Allison.” Kate studied her fingers as they picked at non-existent lint from her robe.
“No,” Danni said, without hesitation. “I've known her since I was 15. She's helped my family out over the years, and I used to work for her.”
“Doing what?” Kate asked, surprised at her own curiosity.
Danni shrugged. “I took care of her yard, did things around the house for her. She was good to me and helped me pull this off.” She indicated her male alter ego.
“And you… were with… her in gratitude?” Kate asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“No. It wasn't like that, Kate.”
“Then what was it like?” Kate demanded, stunned as jealousy began to eat at her.
“After I got the clothes and my hair was cut, she told me she wanted to show me how to be with a woman. She said she knew it would come up, and wanted to give me that gift.”
“But, you're a woman, Danni! I don't understand.”
“I know.” Danni blew out a breath. “To be honest, Kate, my whole life I knew I'd never be like other girls. I had no desire to get married, no desire to give birth to children, and no desire to be some housewife.”
Kate was stunned, as she heard her own heart repeated back to her. It made her pause and think for a moment.
“I've always thought women were incredibly beautiful, and knew that my big brother, Billy and I had some things in common. I mean, before he went off to war, we used to sit up in his room and talk about the really pretty actresses we saw in picture shows. Nobody but him knew that.”
“And Allison, apparently.”
“To my surprise, yes. Allison, too.”
Kate was quiet for a long moment, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to wrap her mind around all that she was being told and felt. Finally, she stood and reached her hand towards Danni. “I need to see something,” she said, taking Danni's hand and tugging her off the couch. She led Danni to her bedroom, where she closed the door behind them.
Confused, Danni stood in the middle of the room and waited. She watched as Kate, obviously unsure herself, stepped up to her and looked into her eyes.
“Looking at you, I can absolutely see that what you say is true. But, so much has happened, Danni. I need to see for myself.”
Danni got a pretty good idea what Kate needed to see as Kate's fingers found the buttons of Danni's shirt, deftly releasing one button after another until the short-sleeved shirt was pushed off Danni's shoulders and dropped to the floor. What was left was the white undershirt. Kate met Danni's gaze briefly before reaching for the hem of the shirt and tugging it over Danni's head.
Looking over the pale, smooth skin of Danni's torso, Kate's breath was taken as the body of an absolutely amazingly beautiful woman was revealed. Her eyes found the white bandaging that she'd felt the day before, and she felt butterflies in her belly as she realized that she was about to see what was beneath it.
Danni's heart was beating so loud, she worried Kate could hear it. She felt lightheaded and more vulnerable than she ever had before. She knew Kate needed this, for whatever reason, and felt she was in no position to deny Kate anything at this point. She tried to keep her breathing under control as she felt gentle fingers unclasp and began to unwrap the bandage from around her chest, her breasts at last free.
Kate's gaze was fixated on those breasts, which Kate had to agree with Allison, were beautiful. “It's amazing,” she said, her voice quiet and reverent. She brought up a hand and touched the soft skin of Danni's side, running absent fingertips over slightly pronounced ribs. “looking at you like this, it seems this is the person I've known these past weeks.” Kate was surprised to find her own breathing hitched slightly, as she felt utterly drawn to Danni's exquisite beauty. “I feel like I'm finally getting to see and know the true you, Danni.”
Danni's eyes closed for a moment as she tried to get her body to behave, as Kate's touch was making her react in ways that she wasn't so sure were all that appropriate. “You're seeing all I have,” she responded, her words slightly breathy, which made her angry at herself for her lack of control. “I have no more secrets from you, Kate.”
Kate let out shaky sigh, her breath rushing across Danni's nipples, making them pucker in reaction. “I guess I should be totally honest with you now then, too,” she whispered, her other hand now drifting up and over Danni's side and muscled stomach, her gaze riveted to Danni's slightly-heavy breasts. She pulled her gaze away, meeting Danni's hooded eyes. “I still love you, Danni. I don't understand all this, but I still love you.”
“I love you so much, Kate,” Danni whimpered, cupping her face and pulling her to her, their shared kiss desperate and all-consuming.
“Danni,” Kate breathed into the kiss, her arms wrapping around Danni, pulling her as close as possible. She couldn't control her need for Danni, and somehow, finding out that she was a woman made Kate feel like she had some semblance of control and power: a feeling that was strange but not unwelcome.
Danni felt herself being pushed backwards, so she went with it, falling back onto the bed, Kate falling with and on top of her. The kiss never broke as Danni used her superior strength and rolled them over, breaking the kiss as she attacked Kate's neck with lips and tongue.
Kate moaned as her eyes fell shut and head fell to the side. Her hands roamed restlessly on Danni's naked back, reveling in the feel of smooth flesh beneath her fingers. She maneuvered Danni between her legs, bracing her feet on the mattress as she pushed herself up into Danni, needing pressure between her legs.
Danni knew this time was no holds barred: she wanted to see all of Kate and feel their naked skin pressed together. As she worked her way towards the neckline of Kate's nightgown, visible in the ‘v' of her closed robe, Danni reached down and frantically tugged at the belt of the green robe, shoving the ends apart once it was free.
Kate cried out as her right breast was cupped over the thin material of her nightgown, her back arching into Danni's touch. “Off,” she whimpered, nearly knocking Danni off the bed as she sat up, shrugging out of her robe then tugging her own nightgown over her head.
Danni, who stood next to the bed, could only look on in awe. Her eyes fixed on Kate's naked breasts and her mouth watered. Quickly, she stepped out of her shoes and fumbled with her pants until they fell around her ankles. She stepped out of them and then reached for her underwear, tugging them down, too.
Kate watched, again mesmerized by Danni's body. What caught her attention however, was what was strapped to Danni's narrow hips. “Is that what you used in the field?” she asked, getting to her knees and crawling over to Danni.
Danni looked down at the phallus, protruding obscenely from her hips. “Yes.”
“Is that what you're going to use now?”
“No,” Danni shook her head. “I want to be with you as myself, Kate. I don't want anymore lies between us.”
Kate smiled, reaching up and pulling Danni down for a quick, but deep kiss. “Good.”
Danni unbuckled herself from what had become part of her daily uniform, relieved to let it drop to the floor. She climbed onto the bed, pushing Kate back against the pillows as she went. They both moaned as Danni pressed their nakedness together, nothing between them this time but love.
Kate ran her hands down Danni's back until they reached the swell of her behind, then ran them back up, still a bit shy. She looked up into Danni's face. “I have no idea how two women make love,” she admitted.
Danni smiled. “I'll show you.”
Danni gave Kate a quick kiss before she began to kiss her way down Kate's body, leaving a fiery trail down along her throat and between her breasts before she gave each breast undivided attention.
Kate had never experienced anything like it as she got lost in all that Danni was doing. She buried her hands in her hair, holding her to her breast. “Danni,” she whimpered, near tears at the overwhelming sensations.
“I'm here, my love,” Danni murmured into the flesh of Kate's stomach. She kissed her way down until she gently lifted Kate's legs to rest over her shoulders.
Kate didn't have a clue what Danni was doing, but at the moment it didn't matter. Her brain wasn't in charge of her right now, her body taking over. She gasped loudly as she felt suddenly wet warmth between her legs. She looked down the length of her body and saw Danni's dark head moving before blue eyes met her own gaze. Danni quickly returned to her task, her tongue once again gliding along Kate's folds, causing Kate's eyes to close and her head to fall back to the pillow. Never in her wildest dreams could Kate have created such a scenario, let alone in reality.
Danni was enjoying what she was doing immensely, for the first time feeling love in her actions, and not just pleasure, as was the case with Allison, and the only other person she'd ever been with sexually.
It seemed that the pleasure couldn't build anymore until Kate's body erupted – to her shock- as she cried out so loud that her voice echoed within the walls of her bedroom. She clenched her thighs around Danni's head, holding her in place as she instinctively rode out the waves of release.
Danni held tight, allowing Kate to lead this dance. After a few long moments of captivity, Kate released her and Danni climbed back up Kate's body, hugging her to her and sending comforting strokes of her hand to her hair and face, along with a trail of kisses. After several moments, Kate calmed and returned the kisses.
“I love you, Kate,” Danni whispered, finally getting Kate's gaze.
Kate pulled her to her, as though her life depended on it. “Oh, Danni,” she cried, her grip painfully tight. “I love you so much.”