For complete disclaimers see part 1.Note: Thanks to the readers who have given me military info. I really appreciate it. J
If youd like to tell me what a wonderful writer I am or that I royally suck, feel free at: XenaNut@hotmail.comNote: Thank you all for following this story for so long. I'm going to go grieve now in post-partem. Enjoy.
Control by Kim Pritekel
I truly had no idea that one person could cry that much, nor did I know that after said crying fit, you'd feel nauseous as all hell.
My entire body ached, my throat ached, my butt from where it hit the top stair as I fell to it. It was a whole body affair.
I sat curled up on that top step, head in my hands, sobbing my heart out for far too long. My eyes felt like someone had rubbing sandpaper in them, and then spread glue all over my face so it dried, leaving my skin tight and painful.
Squinting my eyes a few times, I tried to loosen things up, as well as get some moisture back into my eyes. To no avail. They hurt just as bad as before, and as I stood, my head began to pound, throbbing clear down into my neck.
Standing fully, I rested my body against the well, closing my eyes to try and wait for the pain and dizziness to subside.
Well, that talk I'd wanted for two years sure went well. I pushed off the wall and slowly made my way down the stairs, locking the front door, only after checking to see that Keller's truck was, in fact, gone. Next I raided the medicine cabinet, popping two Excedrin tension tablets, and then made the long trek back up the stairs, turning off lights as I went.
The water, as hot as I could possibly stand it, fell over my skin, relaxing tense muscles and tight, irritated skin. I smoothed my hair back, raising my face to the spray, wincing slightly as the hot water stung the tortured and delicate skin beneath my eyes.
It took only mere moments for my head to fall forward, resting against the cool tile, which felt good against my thumping forehead.
Then the stinging, making my skin hurt worse, and my head pound like a damn metal band. Don't want to cry anymore, don't want to cry anymore. Damn it! I'm crying again!
Bringing my arms in to protect myself, from what, I had no idea, I slid down the tile wall, turning so my back was pressed against the wall, huddled like the child I felt.
My entire life, everything I had worked so hard for, all of it, gone. Keller might as well have put a gun to my head and said bang. There was nothing left. Inside the body, mind and heart of Keller and Parker was my own soul. Keller had taken my heart long ago, but now everything else, too.
I cried. I cried for me, I cried for them, I cried for everything that I would never have. I cried for the bitter fact that it had all been right there, right in my fingertips, and with a snap, it was gone, driving off into the night somewhere, lost to me.
I sounded dramatic in my own head, but I felt as though everything I had to live for was gone. I was an empty shell. And I hated it.
Finally turning the water off, once it began to turn into thousands of little knives made of ice, I dried myself off, padded around the house naked, taking the dogs out one more time, completely on autopilot, then headed up to bed. It was late, I was tired, and I'd try and figure everything out in the morning. Hell, maybe Parker wouldn't even want to go with Keller. But Keller would still go.
Feeling my eyes begin to prickle again, I mentally shook myself, making me stop thinking about it for one night. One night of reprieve, because in the light of day, there was no way to deny it.
Roy and Tut followed me up the stairs, the big black dog looking over his shoulder every now and then, seeing if his best human buddy was really ditching him for the night, or if she'd just magically appear.
"Come on, guys." I said, holding my bedroom door open for them. Tut jumped onto the bed, taking his spot right smack dab in the center, while Roy, who got hot easily, curled on the floor in the bathroom, with the tile. "Tut, move," the little beagle glared at me as he moved so I could pull the covers down, leaving just the sheet up, as my still damp skin was getting chilled.
"Goodnight, my boys." I said, my voice hoarse from the fight, then the hours of crying. Gingerly laying my head down, I tried to find a position that required the least amount of pressure, just short of sleeping standing up. Finding that laying on my left side wasn't as bad, I got comfortable, looking out the window, the moon high overhead, and closed my eyes.
The song of the birds filled the trees they perched in, nearly invisible to the eye, but beautiful to the ear. A young, waddling blonde child with a head full of thick curly hair, got up and made her way toward the tree, looking up as far as her little neck would let her.
"See the birds, honey?" A soft, velvety voice asked, a large, tanned hand resting on the child's upper back. The blonde head shook, curls bouncing everywhere. The owner of that voice knelt down, looking up into the dense branches of that tree, then raised an arm, pointing. "Look, Parker. See 'em all?" Blue eyes looked to those of the child, who was squinting, trying to see them for herself.
"Lunch is ready, guys." Another voice called out, but this one was further back, back on a blanket spread out near the tree, a basket-worth of goodies spread out on it.
"Come on, sweetie. Let's eat before mommy gets mad, okay?"
The little blonde nodded vigorously, a finger just inside her bottom lip. "Down," she said as they got closer. The blue-eyed woman put the toddler down, and on unsteady feet, the little one ran to the woman on the blanket, a huge grin lighting up her whole face.
"Hi, sweetheart. Are you hungry?" The blonde woman extended her hand, touching the child's face. The skin was so soft, butterfly touches. It was so soft and so real that the blonde woman could feel her own fingers on the child's face, and what the child must be feeling. Soft fingertips, brushing across tiny hairs that littered the skin, peach fuzz.
My eyes opened, and I nearly jumped when I realized there were fingers touching me. I focused, seeing troubled blue eyes looking down at me, brows knitted together to form a worry line in the forehead. My gaze traveled back to the face, seeing the jaw relaxed, lips lightly lying against each other.
I closed my eyes briefly as those fingers passed across my cheek again, leaning into the touch before opening my eyes again, not wanting to miss a single visual moment.
"I'm scared," Keller whispered.
"Of what?" I whispered back, reaching up to try and smooth away that worry line with my thumb. She closed her eyes, forehead relaxing.
"Of you," she said, her eyes still closed.
"Why? What do you think I'll do, Keller?" Her eyes opened again, and she sighed softly.
"You'll hurt me. Reject me. Not love me." It was said so simply, but touched me so deeply. I brought the hand I had used for her forehead, to her hand, covering it as it laid against my cheek.
"I do love you, Keller." I looked into those amazing, troubled eyes. "I always have. Always will."
"Like you did Celeste?" she seemed to hold her breath, waiting for me to answer. I smiled gently, shaking my head.
"I never loved Celeste the way I love you." I brought her hand to my mouth, gently kissing the palm. I saw her chest falter with the missed breath. Entwining our fingers, I looked at her face. "You're my life, Keller. I missed you so much."
She let out a breath, her shoulders falling with the breath, eyes closing, then she sucked it back in, eyes opening. The troubled look, the fear, the sadness was gone. Inside those eyes now I saw what I never thought I would- love. So much love.
"Why did you push me away at the airport?" She looked down, but just before she did, I saw the slightest bit of glistening in her eyes. Reaching my hand out, I gently lifted her chin with two fingers.
"Because I was a coward. Plain and simple. I was a coward." I looked into her eyes, wanting her to see the truth in those words. "You wouldn't believe how Ruby beat me up over that one." She smiled, but only slightly, looking down again. I was about to bring her chin up again, but she stopped me, catching my fingers in her own.
Without a word, she stood, stepping a couple feet back from the bed. I looked at her, unsure what she was doing, hoping to god she wasn't going to leave again. Looking straight at me, she reached down to the hem of her t-shirt, then whipped the whole thing off. I was struck dumb, looking at her, standing there in a pair of cargo shorts, sneakers, and her bra.
"Keller, you don't have to do this." I looked into her eyes, and she smiled, nodding.
"I know." Using the heel of either foot, she kicked her shoes off, followed by bending down to remove each sock. When she stood again, her fingers, which were fairly calm, went to the fly of her shorts. "I want to," she said finally, the shorts sliding gracefully down her long legs.
As I watched, stunned, my eyes taking in everything before me, she reached behind herself, snap, snap, snap. The loose straps of her bra slid down her arms, the cups falling off, the whole thing finally falling to the floor, followed by her hooking her thumbs into the waistband of her panties, pushing them down.
She stood there, naked, completely revealing something to me that she had never shown someone of her own free will. Her body, her beauty, her soul.
The moonlight streamed in, silvery light catching on the underside of a rounded breast, the tip of an erect nipple, a few crisp hairs between her legs. The rest of her was cast in shadow.
"I don't know what to do," she whispered.
Slowly I pushed the sheet off me, revealing my own naked body. She watched as my feet hit the carpet, one foot in front of the other, I approached her, taking her in as I did. The most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in all my life.
Stopping a breath away from her, I could see her breathing had increased, and I wasn't sure if it was from fear, nerves, excitement, or all the above.
Reaching out a hand, I cupped her jaw, the soft skin making my fingertips tingle, headache all but forgotten. My hand made its way up, forming to the shape and contours of her jaw, side of her throat, and finally the back of her neck. Looking up into her eyes, I saw trust reflected there, and I smiled. That had always been one of the most precious gifts she could give me.
Tugging lightly on her neck, she brought her head down, and I brought mine up until our lips touched. A shutter passed through me, touching every single nerve ending in my body, making them all quiver.
Her lips were just as soft as I remembered them, and I began to move mine against them, slow, exploring, wanting to know every part of them, everything that they enjoyed. Just … everything.
As we kissed, I closed that distance between our bodies, skin against skin, making us both moan into the kiss, Keller's tongue flicking out, swiping my bottom lip. I caught it, lightly suckling on it.
My hands found the superbly soft skin of Keller's hips, and just using my fingertips, I brushed that skin, feeling her shiver against my touch. Her own hands started on my shoulders, fingers squeezing the skin they found there, tracing across the bones, my collar bones, her head tilting just slightly, mouth opening just a bit more, taking more of me in.
I brought one of my hands to her back, wanting so badly to explore that broad plain of skin and softness, running my nails up her spine, feeling her sigh into my mouth, then shiver again as my nails ran back down, my other hand massaging her hip, fingers tips running just a bit lower to the outside of her thigh, feeling the muscle from endless miles ran.
"I can't stand," she said into my mouth, so in answer I used the hand that was on her back, pressed into the flesh, back up, her following. I broke away just long enough to push Tut off the bed, and get settled on my side, reaching for her.
I watched as she put a knee up on the bed to rest her weight on, then her hands came down, breasts swaying with the motion of her other leg joining, then she positioned herself next to me, on her side, facing me.
I looked into her eyes, my hand coming up to caress the side of her face, wanting her to see all the love I had for her in my own eyes, and just how much she was wanted, desired, yet that I would never hurt her.
She closed her eyes, leaning in, her kiss finding where we'd left off, and continuing. She moved closer, the entire length of our bodies touching now, bringing a hiss of pleasure from me, that same shiver racing through me again.
My fingers found her back again, and as it explored, sensitive fingertips could feel the old scars, old markings made by a monster, then lower yet where I felt his initials, carve so long ago.
Keller flinched slightly when she realized where I was, but I deepened my kiss, wanting her to know that I loved her for her, no matter what, no matter what she'd been through. I loved her despite and because of. She calmed.
Turning her over, I left her mouth, my eyes roaming over the landscape that was Keller. She was magnificent, breasts of medium size, but full with the light brown nipples taut. I traced the underside of a breast before I cupped the roundness, looking into Keller's face to see if she was okay. Her eyes were closed, head just ever so slightly back, leaving me too much of a temptation.
My hand fully encompassed her breast as my mouth found her neck, tongue blazing a trail up her throat, to her chin, then back down the other side. She moaned, very quietly, breathy, her body readjusting itself to the sensations that I knew were coursing through her body.
My hand felt that heft of the breast, nipple pressing into my palm. I released the breast, and used that palm in a slow circle over that nipple, making her gasp and suck her bottom lip into her mouth.
My lips left her neck, tongue licking its way to the hollow of her throat, sucking on the skin there, then traveling along both collar bones, sucking on a shoulder before trailing its way back down, licking between her breasts, my fingers outright massaging the one in my hand, my mouth finding the other.
Keller's hand found my hair, fingers running through the strands, sometimes outright pulling when she was faced with a large amount of pleasure, sure as when my mouth found her other nipple, and closed around it, flicking my tongue over it.
She was making constant noises now, low, breathy moans, sounding almost overwhelmed.
I eased off on her breasts somewhat, not wanting her to get too excited. My hand ran lightly over her side, fingers dipping playfully into her belly button, making her stomach quiver, then my tongue followed the path of my fingers, dipping in, making her start in surprise. My hand ran up and down her thigh, calming her as I sucked on the skin of her stomach, finding a scar on her side, and kissing it.
"Turn over, baby." I said, my voice low and throaty. She looked at me for just a single moment of uncertainty, then did as I asked.
Moving my body, I straddled her upper thighs, just below her butt. Looking down on her back, my heart broke all over again as I saw just how littered her back was with old scars. Only a few were tactile adventures, the majority a discoloration of her skin to varying degrees.
I ran my hands all over her back, using the pads of my fingers, and then my nails, smiling in satisfaction as I felt her body moving under me, hips doing a very slight dance, especially when I leaned over her, brushing my nipples up her back, then bringing my tongue to her back on the back pass, kissing and licking each and every scar, loving the painful memories from each one.
When I got to the initials, I ran my fingers over the two letters AM. Kissing it lightly, I said, "Not anymore."
Turning her back over, I saw the glistening of tears in her eyes, and laid my body over hers, her arms immediately engulfing me. I hugged her to me, stroking her hair, her face and neck, then my lips found her eyes, kissing away those tears, tasting the salt on my tongue.
"I love you, Keller," I whispered against her lips.
"I love you, too, Garrison." She opened her eyes and looked into mine, a small smile gracing her features. I smiled back, then kissed her again, with purpose and meaning, my knee gently nudging her thighs apart.
Laying myself fully down, my thigh between her legs, I felt her wetness against my skin, and groaned. She gasped, breaking free of my lips, as I pressed into her, my thigh putting pressure where I knew she needed it most.
Finding her mouth again, I brought myself up so I was resting on my elbows, and began to move my hips, feeling her start to do the same, finding my rhythm, her hands getting a little bolder, running down my back, her hands finally coming to cup my backside, helping my pace.
The kiss became filled with heavy breathing, after awhile just two mouths held together, sharing breath as our bodies moved together.
Keller's breathing turned into little whimpers, getting higher in pitch as her body tried to move faster and faster beneath mine. I wouldn't allow the faster pace, instead wanting this to be a slow, steady, earned release.
After a few more minutes, her fingers dug into my skin, her eyes clamping shut, mouth opening into a soundless scream.
It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. As she released, I kissed her face, her neck, back to her lips, all the while caressing her neck with my thumb.
She grabbed me to her, almost painfully, her body still going through its last spasms.
I held her tight, burying my face in her neck. After a few moments, I heard her heartbeat start to slow, and her breathing even out. Raising my head, I saw that her eyes were closed, her body giving into the need for sleep.
Leaning up, I placed a soft kiss on her lips, which startled her awake.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," she started to try and sit up, but I pushed her back down, my fingers to her lips.
"Shhh, my love." Reaching down, I grabbed the sheet and pulled it over us, settling in beside her, I rested my head on her shoulder, my arm across her stomach. "Sleep now."
I felt her kiss the top of my head. "I love you."
"I love you, too." I said, a smile on my face as sleep began to take me.
The morning light was coming through, making me squint against its powerful rays. The intensity told me that it was late morning.
Peeking an eye open, I saw blue ones looking at me, directly from above me.
Looking around, I took mental, physical and visual inventory. At some point in the night I'd moved myself so that my entire body was covering Keller's, my head resting on her upper chest.
I started to move, but a hand on my lower back stopped me.
"Stay," she whispered.
"Only if you do," I said, raising my brow to match that of Keller. She leaned down, pulling me up slightly to meet her, and kissed me.
Moving myself up even further, I rested my elbows on either side of her head, deepening the kiss, sealing that word with all the passion and love I had to offer.
She sighed, bringing her hands to my back, running her nails over my skin, as I had done to her, making me smile against her mouth.
"What?" she asked.
"Quick learner," I said, moving my mouth down along her jaw, Keller raising her head to give me complete access.
"Mm," her hands moved up, the backs of her fingers brushing against the sides of my breasts. I wanted her hands on me so badly.
Apparently she did, too, as she slowly turned us so I was on my back, and she was leaning over me. The sheet had come with me, so she slowly lowered it, looking at all that it revealed. I felt nervous and vulnerable in the light of day.
She looked into my eyes. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've always thought you had the most amazing eyes," she said, brushing her fingers across my stomach, making it flutter. I wanted to respond, but the sensations she was bringing about in me with just her presence and a few touches was stealing my voice plumb away.
She lowered her head, testing the skin of my upper chest with her lips, then tentatively bringing her tongue out, she blazed a wet trail down to the top of my right breast, making me suck in a breath.
As she touched me, her hands gliding across my skin, her mouth sampling all that was spread before her, I felt a love wash over and through me that I had no idea could possibly exist. I knew, then and there, that I wanted that dream, wanted Keller to be with me forever, in my heart and in my bed. Wanted her and Parker to be my family, Keller to be a parent with me.
I sighed in contentment as lips closed around my nipple, making my back arch.
I wanted to build a life with Keller, a new foundation had started last night, and I just knew that, brick by magical brick, we would find that peace and happiness and ultimate love that we all craved so desperately.
My fingers roamed through her hair as her mouth found new territory to explore, hands running down my hip, down the side of my thigh, only to roam back up, spreading my legs as it went.
I knew that it would be right when we told Parker that we were a loving couple, and the kid said, "Then does that mean you'll stay forever?" to Keller, and Keller nods with love and understanding, then Parker would jump up from her seat on the couch, crushing us both with her enthusiasm.
Keller's hand found the inside of a heated thigh, becoming quickly coated with my desire for her, her fingers making my hips twitch as they just barely touch the hair there, wet heat meeting her skin.
I knew it would make us stronger as Keller took over Jerome's job, and she would bring a savvy business sense that neither of us knew she had, and we would grow and expand, her finishing up her pilots license with Ruby, who would be thrilled beyond thrilled to learn that Keller and I had finally figured things out, and Keller would become the co-owner of Davies Hangar.
Those fingers trailed through me, through my soul, finding the core of who I was, what Keller made me. My hands bringing Keller's face up to my own, needing her mouth, needing to taste her, be as close to her as possible as she made love to me.
I knew that we would be more than okay as Parker grew, got older and ever taller, more beautiful by the day, Keller and I would face it together, watch our Parker go through her triumphs and disappointments and first heartbreaks. We'd be there for her when she got into her worst fights with Zoë, only to make up three days later.
Keller's fingers found my opening, and I encouraged her to find me inside, gently pressing against her hand with my own. She moaned long and deep as she was enveloped by my warm, greedy insides, pulling her further inside, our kiss deepening as my hips began to move, showing her the pace I needed.
Even as we watched our dearest and closest friends move on to other things, and when Ruby and Jerome would die, Keller, Parker and I would still be together, still love each other. When Parker would graduate from high school, fourteen notebooks of ten years of writing filling the boxes that filled the back of her car as she drove off to New York University, Keller and I holding each other up as we watched until her taillights disappeared.
My body reacted with sighs and movement as Keller's fingers slid deeper inside me, only to pull out moments later, then sliding back in. Wanting to share such enormous pleasure, I reached down, my fingertips playing with her entrance, but she stopped me, instead putting her fingers on her clit.
We would try and be objective as we met the string of boys and men Parker would bring home over the years, until finally she would meet Richard, who would change everything in her world, and who would believe in her and her talent, and ultimately encourage her to try and get her work published.
My hand was covered with Keller's wetness as she grew more excited, her breathy moans mingling with my own as we got closer and closer, our bodies moving in tandem, the world receding until there was nothing but Keller above me, her fingers inside me, my fingers on her, pleasure passing between us.
We'd be there the day that Parker burst through the front door, waving a book in her hand. The first copy out of the box for the books her publisher had sent to her. Signed: To my special moms, Keller and Garrison, my first born. Keller and I would cry, filled with so much pride.
Finally, unable to take anymore, my body arched, convulsing, trapping Keller's fingers inside me as wave after wave crashed over me, filling me an almost painful level, with pleasure, stealing my vision, my sense of smell, taste, touch or self. I exploded into a billion particles, coming back to form a new person, one that had seen the divine. It didn't take long before Keller followed me, clinging to me as spasms quaked through her body, stealing her breath and voice.
It would be a beautiful day as we watched Parker and Richard in their black gowns, names called to receive their degrees, only to have set it up with the school prior, and had the guest speaker, also an ordained minister, marry them on the spot, on the graduation stage. More tears as our little girl no longer belonged to us.
I held Keller to me, her weight on my own security, wonderful. I ran my hands over her back, her hair, feeling her breathing calming against my neck.
"I love you," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss there.
"I love you, too, my baby. My Keller."
"Yes. I need new initials."
I slapped her lightly on the arm as she chuckled into my neck.
The grass was beautiful, green and thick. The winding path was still damp in places, leading me to believe that they had watered early this morning.
I inhaled, taking in the wonderful smells of summer, the sun beating down on my skin.
The squeeze from the hand holding mine got my attention, and I followed, stopping a short while later. Looking down, I saw Parker kneel down, brushing a stray leaf off the engraved name. She stood, taking her place next to me, her hand resting gently on my shoulder.
"It's been a long time," Keller said, her thumb absently tracing the veins on my hand.
"It has," Parker agrees, then sighs. "I can't believe she's been dead for twenty-seven years. Seems like a lifetime ago."
"It almost was for you, young pup." Keller grins at our Parker, and the kid rolls her blue eyes.
We all three stand in respectable silence, each lost in her own thoughts. My own thoughts were taking me back over the years, all the things we'd been through, the amazing things, and not so amazing.
With a sigh, I turned and gave each of my loves a kiss on the cheek, my fingers being squeezed in response, and an arm around my shoulders from the other side.
"I love you guys," I said, almost a whisper.
"I love you, too, baby," Keller says.
"Well," I take a deep breath, looking from one to the other. "Lets go. Richard will be waiting for us at the restaurant."
Parker bent down, placing the small bouquet she'd brought with her, in the copper holder at the foot of Trudy Mitchum's grave.
As one we turned, heading back the way we'd come.
"So, honey, what's your newest book going to be about?" Keller asked Parker.
"Well, actually, I need to talk to you guys about that. I was thinking that maybe I'd write our story."
Keller and I exchanged a glance, then looked at the kid, blonde curls still bouncing as she walked.
"Seriously! It would make one hell of a novel. And a great movie, too." She grinned.
Parker Davies- Dubois
The hangar was dark when I arrived. I was tired, sore and hungry as hell. Running a hand through short, blonde hair, I unlocked the office I shared with my father, Frank Davies, and plopped down in the old, vinyl and steel chair. The light wasn't even a consideration at this point. I had been in this hangar since the age of three, and knew it like the back of my hand.
Davies Cargo was the company I owned with my father. He was getting up in years, and so was teaching me all the aspects of the business - not just the flying part. Hell, I'd been doing that since I was ten, and flying alone since the age of thirteen.
Shhhh, don't tell the authorities.
Opening the top drawer to the desk, I found my stash of power bars.
"Yum," I moaned when I saw I had a strawberry left. Ripping the top off the silver paper, I was about to take a bite when I heard something coming from the darkened hangar where all our babies slept.
Just having returned from New Hampshire, I had just put away my baby, a 2002 Cessna 182T Skylane, and had no desire to return to her until my nine a.m. flight in five hours.
I slowly opened the door that separated the plane port from the offices of the hangar and looked around. I saw nothing. The Cessna, my father's helicopter, and the C-130 Hercules cargo were all sleeping soundly. I could see just the outline of the numerous tool boxes and benches that lined the walls, as well as the wall rack where spare parts were kept.
A plane taking off from the Warwick Airport rattled the place, but other than that, there was nothing.
Then I heard it again. …….
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