Teaser: Gabrielle decides to tell Joxer why she could never love him the way he wants her to and about the true nature of her relationship with Xena after his behavior in Eternal Bonds. Xena and Gabrielle than spend so time together.
Standards Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Xena Warrior Princess. They were created by Rob Tapert & Co. and therefore belong to them, Universal Studios and Renpics, but most of all themselves. I am just borrowing them to undue some damage... err... I mean fun. Anyways, this story is for entertainment only and not profit. By the way the poem and the lullaby belong to me.
Violence Disclaimer: Nada, Nip, Zero. Just some lovey-dovey stuff. Sorry, Maybe some other time though.
Language Disclaimer: I don't believe there is any naughty language, endearments maybe?
Subtext Disclaimer: BEWARE! Here there is girl love. Yes, two women who are in love with each other and who express that love physically! So if you are offended by this turn back while you still can because who knows it could be contagious. If you are under 18 go read something else, but if you decide you are mature enough to read this I won't tell your mom. Don't say I didn't warn you though! If you live in a state/country/place where this stuff is illegal, fight the power! And come read this when you are done. If you are not held back by any of the previous unfortunate circumstances be proud and read on ENJOY!
Joxer warning: Yes, he is in this story, but he does not threaten the relationship of our two favorite girls, in fact he may even help it.
Notes from the Bard: This is my first fan fiction. I just bought all the seasons of Xena about five months ago and watched them all. It had been awhile since I had seen the show, and I was pretty young when it was on, but when I watched the show this second time around I was deeply touched by the show, especially the wonderful relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. However, like most fans, especially other subtexters, I was very disappointed in season 5, a season that started with a bang just... well in lack for a better word, deflated. It was full of bad writing, and plot holes, they treated Xena and Gabrielle more like business partners than friends or lovers and botched great characters like Joxer into something else. So I decided I would set out to repair some of this damage. This story takes place after Eternal Bonds; I would like to write stories for the aftermath of other season 5 episodes too. I also feel inspired to write a first-time story involving the poem Xena kept from their first night together that Gabrielle wrote for her mentioned in this story. If you like that idea, tell me! Though I will do it even if you don't. Thank you for listening to me ramble, any comments and advice would be wonderfully appreciated, so feed the bard at:firstname.lastname@example.org
Love Unrequited and Reacquainted
Xena, and I have just set up camp. Xena is making a fire, I am getting a pot of vegetables and water ready to boil for stew, and Joxer and Eve are both resting peacefully. Joxer protested against taking a nap, saying he could hunt for a rabbit, but Xena wouldn't take no for an answer, and after his near death experience today it didn't take long for him to relent. The minute he hit the bedroll he was out. As for Eve, I think running from gods can take it out of any baby, even if she is the daughter of the great warrior princess.
I look up from my task to look at Xena and catch her eye. She smiles and I can't help but smile back, I always melt when she smiles, especially knowing its only reserved for me, and those close to us. I take a peek at Eve and Joxer, they should be out for a while, and Xena already has the fire blazing. I get up and walk over to her, she reaches her hand out to me and I take it, than I sit down as close as possible without actually sitting on her, but I don't release her hand Instead I bring it to my lips and place a small kiss on it.
She smiles again, and I melt again. "Hey Stranger." She says before placing her lips against mine for a chaste kiss.
"Hey yourself". I bump her shoulder. "I was worried about you today."
"Oh really? Whys that?"
"We are going against the gods, they wouldn't hesitate killing you to get to Evie. The idea of losing you or our child scares me, and I hate not being able to protect you."
She squeezes my hand gently "I know, and it scares me too. But you know I can defend myself and protect Eve, it was Joxer who needed you today."
"I know" I sigh and shake me head " I really need to talk to him"
She raises an eyebrow "Why's that?"
I can't help but sigh again "When he was sick and delirious, he was asking me why I couldn't love him the way he loves me, he was even getting angry. I didn't want to tell him the truth when he was like that, and I was scared it would break his heart. But, now I think it would be easier for him to know the truth, its only fair to him anyways. Than maybe he will understand. So... I'm going to tell him about us."
"Yeah, its for the best. A part of me thinks he must already know on some level, he's just in denial because of his feelings for you" She pauses and chuckles a little "I mean its not like we're all that subtle about it"
I laugh too "yeah, I know"
"I think you should tell him when he wakes up, get it over with as soon as possible."
"Yeah, I will do that, what will you be doing?"
"I'm going to take Evie and bathe in the creek. I feel completely disgusting."
I look at her puzzled. I turn my head sniff her mmm.. Leather; she playfully bats me away with her hand. "Why? You smell good and you look fine... no, beautiful as always"
She groans and has a disgusted look on her face, with a hint of guilt. "What?" I say
"...Ares...." She whispers so I can barely hear her.
"What did you say? What about Ares?"
"I had a dream about him. He put some kind of enchantment on me so I would have a dream about me and him..." She raises her hand in the air and whirls it around and scrunches her nose in disgust. " uhg..."
"What?! Just what where you and Ares doing in this dream? Huh? Tell me!" I know I shouldn't be angry with her, and really I'm not, but I tend to be the jealous type. Though I would never admit that to Xena.
"Gods Gabrielle, please don't make me say it..." She shakes her head "I don't even want to think about it, I just want to take a bath, spend some quality time with you and forget about it, Please love? Just let it go, you have no need to be jealous. You know I don't have romantic feelings for Ares"
"I'm not jealous, I just-"
She interrupts "You are too"
"No I am not" I look up at her at she has that classic Xena smirk on, she knows I'm lying "Fine, I admit it, I'm jealous. I can't help it, your amazing and beautiful and its bad enough I feel like I have to fight away every man and woman, but having to compete against the gods too? It makes me feel pretty insecure sometimes."
She cups my cheek in her hand and pulls my face towards her, giving me a soft kiss that quickly grows passionate with my need and hers. We break away both breathing heavy. She turns her head so our cheeks are touching, and her lips are near my ear. "There is no competition Gabrielle, you win hands down." Than she kisses me again, this time its slower and less needy, but no less passionate.
I pull away breathless from the arousal that's quickly growing in me, it's been too long. I smile against her cheek "so this quality time between you and me does it involve continuing this?" I whisper into her ear before I take a soft earlobe between me lips and teeth for a playful tug.
"Oh yeah, most defiantly" Her voice is husky. "But, I think we should wait until later, I really want to take a bath first, and you need to talk to Joxer, he should be up soon."
"Yeah, I know" I can't hide the disappointment in my voice, but I quickly cheer up when I remembers what's to come. We haven't been able to do much more than kiss and cuddle lately with Xena being pregnant, and just giving birth, not being able to get rid of Joxer and Americe, and the gods chasing us, so I need to be with her, and soon. However, right now there are other things to take care of "Okay, well I'm hungry anyways, so I'm going to get dinner ready." I stand up and start preparing the abandoned soup, while Xena puts some tea over the fire.
She chuckles. "That's a surprise, but Evie will be hungry when she wakes up too, so I'll nurse her by the creek" As if on cue Eve wakes up and begins to scream at the top of her lungs. I chuckle "She must have your hearing" Xena rolls her eyes at me "yeah, and your appetite" she mutters as she walks over to Eve and softly coos to her when she picks her up.
"Well, I guess I should get going than, I'll eat when I get back, and make sure Joxer drinks that tea I made when he gets up. It'll make him feel better." She walks up to me and kisses me on the temple before turning around.
"Wait, I have a question before you go?"
She turns around "Yes?"
"What do you think Ares wanted when he gave you that dream? I mean I know he's hot for you, but it's not like him to use his powers just to get laid. There must be something more?"
"He wants an heir, and he wants me to give it to him"
"Uhg. I guess that makes sense, sounds just like Ares. That son of a ba..." Just than Joxer starts to stir and slowly sit up. I look up at Xena and all my anger at Ares melts away when I see understanding in those gorgeous baby blues, she nods. "We'll talk about this later, I'll go get cleaned up" She walks into the woods towards the creek.
I sigh; I'm as ready as I ever will be for this conversation. "Hey, Joxer? You awake?" I call from the fire as I slowly stir the soup and add some spices and herbs to it.
"Huh? Yeah I'm awake Gabby."
"Why don't you come here and sit by the fire? Dinner is almost done."
"Alright, I'm starving anyways" He says this with as much bravado as possible while he gets up, struggling a little bit. He walks over and sits on the log next to me, a safe distance away. I realize he must feel pretty embarrassed for his behavior and injury this morning.
I pour some of the tea Xena made him in a mug and pass it to him. "Here drink this, Xena made it for you, it should make you feel better."
He takes it "Xena sure knows a lot about healing, and everything else too" He pauses and looks around. "Where are she and Eve anyways?"
"They went to take a bath."
"Oh okay" He takes a sip of his tea.
I get up from my seat to check on the soup, its done so I make Joxer a bowl and hand it to him, he says thank you. Than I make a bowl for myself and sit back down. We sit and eat in an awkward silence for a while. I guess it's now or never.
"Joxer, I need to talk to you"
"Well, you know you can tell me anything Gabby."
"It about what you asked earlier."
"What was it? I don't really remember what I asked. I was pretty out of it"
"It was about how you said you where in... love... with me." I can feel myself blushing
"Gabby, you don't have to-"
I have to do this, so I interrupt him before I chicken out. "You asked why I could never love you the way you love me, and, well I never really gave you a real answer, actually I pretty much lied."
He looks at me with a mixture of fear, embarrassment and hope clouding his face. "Oh? And what is it you said?"
"I said that I didn't know why people fall in love with who they fall in love with. I guess it wasn't as much a lie as it was just part of the whole truth"
"What is the truth?" He says this with a voice shaking with fear, but his eyes are full of hope, hope that maybe I could love him. But I can't.
I hold my breath for a few seconds and let out a huge breath, I than look him in the eyes. "Joxer, I can't be in love with you, and I never will be..."
He interrupts me before I can finish. "Why? Gabrielle why can't you love me? I could give you everything, I would carry the world on my shoulders for you, anything!"
"Stop! Joxer just stop and let me finish. Listen, and maybe you will understand!"
He looks at me, and seems to feel a little guilty from his outburst. "Go ahead." He
Whispers as he nods his head down.
"I'm in love with someone else. I'm in love with Xena."
He looks up at me with tears filling his eyes and gives me a sad smile while he says, "I know." He pauses and his smile fades "But why her and not me? I know I don't seem like much compared to her, I'm not a great warrior, and I'm not gorgeous, but I would keep you safe, I could give you a home and a family. I do not understand why you can't see that"
"Joxer, I know you could, and you are a wonderful man but it's not as simple as that. Have you ever thought that maybe that's not what I want? That maybe Xena is all I want and need? Xena is so much more to me than a beautiful legendary hero. She IS my home, and has given me a family, a beautiful daughter. She is everything to me"
He looks up at me, his eyes are red a puffy. He looks so sad, and... jealous too "I know you have Eve, but don't you want a child of your own? Xena can't give you that, but I could"
My breath catches at the look of raw emotion on his face. "Yes, I do" I whisper, but as I stop to think I get angry with him for hitting such a sensitive mark in my relationship with Xena and for turning this into some kind of competition, so I almost yell when I finally speak. "But that doesn't matter! I don't want to carry YOUR child, or any mans child. The only child I would ever want to carry is Xena's" I catch my breath and nearly whisper the next part "You could never give me what Xena has given me, you could never give me that kind of love. No man could"
"What do you mean?"
I was hoping I wasn't goanna have to tell him this, I thought he would just accept that I am in love with Xena, obviously I was wrong and he needs to know that there is no chance I could love him that way. Sexuality isn't something I am good at talking about, not even with Xena. And after his reaction towards Jace, I am a little scared what he will say. "Well, its kind of personal" I sigh; I really have no idea to word this. "But you deserve to know. I don't like men." I look at him and he looks completely confused. "What I mean is, I'm not sexually attracted to men, but I am to women. I like women only, not men."
I sit and wait for his reaction; he doesn't look angry or disgusted, but very confused. "Oh" He stops to think. "I'm not blind, I know you obviously like women, because...well... everyone has seen the way you look at Xena and you ARE an Amazon" I blush when he says this "But I just figured you liked men too. I know Xena does. I mean what about Peridicus?"
I look down at my hands and try to organize my words; this isn't an easy subject for me. "I loved Perdicus, but only as a friend, a brother. Like I love you." I take a deep breath. "I married him because I was confused about my feelings for Xena. She was my best friend; this amazing, beautiful, passionate, experienced woman and I convinced myself that I was just a silly little girl with a bad crush. I didn't believe she could ever love me the way I needed her too, and I knew if I didn't either get that love or leave I was going to do something stupid that would ruin my friendship with her forever."
I look up and he nods in understanding silently telling me to go on.
I laugh a little and blush at my memories. "I mean, it was getting pretty embarrassing for me. I was having dreams about her, writing poetry, whenever I was close to her I wanted to reach out or kiss her, and every time I saw her naked I couldn't breath and I'd have to stop myself from staring, and as you know Xena is far from modest. She was killing me." I give a knowing smile. "She still does."
He actually laughs, "I can understand, Xena is a beautiful woman. Just like you"
"Thanks, yeah she is" I grow more serious now. "Perdicus was just a way for me to escape from my feelings for her, and a part of me was hoping that she would try and stop me, but I should have known she wouldn't. She thought it was best for me, and that I was in love with him, she can be pretty dense. I also tried to make myself believe that with time I would love him the way a wife should love a husband, but even than I knew that was unlikely." I stop for a minute and he is still listening intently. "He wasn't the first guy I used to try and get my mind of Xena and women in general, but he had to pay his life for my cowardice and denial. And I feel terrible for that."
"I'm sorry Gabby, it wasn't your fault. Some people just aren't as open minded as others, and it can make it scary and confusing for people who are different. I know I feel terrible for the way I treated Jace and I won't make the same mistake with you and Xena." He pauses to take a deep breath and get his words together, when he speaks he looks into me eyes "I think I always knew about you guys, its so easy to see in the way you look at each other and interact, I guess it was just my youth and love for you that clouded my vision. Its going to take awhile but I know I can get over you" He sticks out his chin and puffs his chest "I am Joxer the Mighty after all, I have women swooning over me." He grows serious once again. " Anyways Gabby, I won't let my feelings for you ruin our friendships, I promise you. You are both too important to me for that. "
I smile at him. "Thank you Joxer, I love you, you know? And Xena does too." I lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek.
He blushes "I love you guys too." He smiles sheepishly and touches his cheek. "But your goanna have to stop doing that, it's driving me crazy."
I laugh and blush too "Okay, wouldn't want that to happen."
Just than we hear a crying Eve approaching with a mumbling but smiling Xena "We got to teach this kid something about the element of surprise." She looks at us, smiling at our teary eyes and goofy smiles "How you guys doing? Joxer, you drink that tea? Feeling better?"
"Yeah, thanks. I feel much better."
I look up at Xena. "How was your bath?"
"Waters cold, but I feel pretty good." She looks towards the fire. "Any of that soup left? I'm starving."
"Yep, there's plenty, why don't I take Eve and you come sit by us and eat"
"Sounds good" She walks over and sits down so I am sitting between her and Joxer. She hands me Eve and makes herself a bowl of soup.
I kiss Eve on the cheek and softly coo to her as she falls asleep against my chest. I look to see Joxer smiling at Eve and me I smile back. "I'm going to put her in bed, she's exhausted after that bath"
I walk over to the bedroll Xena and I share, Where Eves bundle of furs lies just above and between our two heads. I tuck her in to make sure she is warm enough, and I sing to her until I am sure she's asleep. When I get back Xena and Joxer are talking, they are both smiling, but Xena has that look in her eyes that means she is worried about whatever is going on. When Joxer sees me approach he speaks to me.
"I was just telling Xena that I am goanna get going tonight. There's plenty of people who need the help of Joxer the Mighty and you guys can take care of yourselves."
I see why Xena's worried. "Are you sure? It dangerous out there, and its late. Why don't you leave in the morning? Besides we like having you around."
Xena nods in agreement but stays quite. Joxer looks at us both. "No, really I think I should get going tonight. Besides I think its Megs birthday soon and I'm sure she would love to see me."
"Yeah, I'm sure she would" I look at Xena and she is looking at Joxer.
"Just be careful okay"
"Hey, I'm Joxer the Mighty remember. No need to worry."
I walk over to Joxer and give him a hug. "We'll miss you. Take care of yourself." He hugs me back. "I'll miss you too"
Joxer walks over to Xena and she stands up. Neither of them look like they know what to do, but when Joxer reaches his hand out for a warrior salute Xena takes it and raises an eyebrow at me in amusement, instead of just returning it she pulls him into a bear hug and after a moment of shock Joxer returns it with evident pride. When they pull back Xena looks a little sad. "Will we be seeing you again?"
Joxer smiles "count on it"
Xena smiles back. "Good"
Joxer gathers up his stuff, and pauses to look at Eve before he walks to the edge of camp. "So long, my warrior chums!" he waves and we both wave back and laugh at how 'gallant' he is. I take a few steps towards Xena to close the distance between us, I take her hand in mine and squeeze it, and she squeezes back. We sit back down by the fire.
"It seems like he didn't take it too bad," Xena says, looking at me and asking me to confirm her suspicions.
"No, he didn't. At first he was pretty sad, and angry too, but once I told him everything he took it okay. I think he's just leaving to get some space, to get over me and accept our relationship."
"Yeah, I figured, though at first I was kind of scared he would hate me. I'm glad he doesn't."
"I think he's a little jealous but, no, he doesn't hate you. In fact he admires you quite a bit." Than I playfully add "Since when does the warrior princess care what anyone thinks of her?"
"I usually don't but he's our best friend. He may be a goof, but he grows on ya"
I laugh, "Yeah, he does. But I have to say I am glad I don't have to deal with him fallowing me around like a lovesick puppy anymore. Trying to put his hands on my apples"
Xena raises and eyebrow at me "What? He put his hands you?" she says shocked and angry.
I can't help but laugh again at the look on her face "No! It's a joke, kind of, he's always trying to do things for me to get me to notice him, you know? Getting me gifts, writing me poetry, doing my errands, carrying heavy objects, like a sack of apples. It was sweet, but annoying."
"Hmmm... Sounds like a certain someone I know," She says chuckling and with a knowing smirk on her face.
"I was never that bad!" I say with mock offense, enjoying the banter.
"Mhm right... 'Xena, let me cook that for you' 'Xena, I bet all those flips are hard on your back, let me rub out the kinks for you' 'Xena, I'll brush Argo for you' 'Xena, I bet this would look great with your leathe-"
"Hey! I thought you like my cooking and back rubs"
"Oh, I do, I love' em." She smiles "but no one touches my horse."
"Ha, don't need to tell me that twice" I smile at her fondly. "I miss this, the banter, the flirting." I reach out and stroke her cheek "I miss you"
"Me too, my bard" She says quietly and we both lean forward for a slow sweet kiss. I groan with disappointment when she pulls back, but I can see in her eyes she doesn't plan on stopping so soon either. "I'll be right back."
I watch Xena as she moves, all she is wearing is her leathers, no armor, no weapons, in fact I don't think she is wearing britches either; she looks so beautiful and feminine like that .She gathers our bedroll, without disturbing Eve, and than walks over to Argo and gets something out of the saddle bag, which she stuffs into the cleavage of her leathers. She walks back over to me and lays our bedroll out by the fire, and sits on it, patting the spot in front of her her. I happily get up and sit between her legs, she wraps one arm around me, and with the other arm she pulls the item out from her leathers, and than rests her head on my shoulder. We sit in silence for minute, just revering each other's presence. Xena reaches her arm around me and hands me a folded piece of paperyus. I look at her puzzled
"Open it" she whispers. So I do.
When I see what's written on the paper I almost burst into tears. I read it out loud.
Desire shakes my body and soul
Like wind shakes the leaves
Whenever you are near, my love
My skin burst aflame
I shiver and melt
Whenever you are near, my love
My heart soars from its body
It is free and you capture it
Whenever you are near, my love
I giggle, laugh and cry
I act foolish and giddy
Whenever you are near, my love
The world is brighter
It glows and twinkles
Whenever you are near, my love
I am lost in your presence
I fall and drown into your eyes
Whenever you are near, my love
Aphrodite blesses me
Love swallows me like an ocean wave
Whenever you are near, my love, my love
It's a poem I wrote shortly after our encounter with the Bacchae, and before I married Perdicus. A poem I wrote about Xena, I didn't have the guts to give it to her until after she died in Cirra and came back. It was how I told her of my feelings for her and she accepted them, and returned them. It was the first night we made love. I remember it like yesterday, I treasure it, and I know she remembers it too, but I never knew the poem meant so much to her. In all these years I hadn't seen it. I turn around so I can look into her eyes; she sees the tears running down my cheeks and gently wipes them away with her thumb.
"You kept it, after all these years. I had no idea"
"Of course I did, I love it. That night is one of my most treasured memories. I wouldn't trade that poem for the world."
I throw my arms around her and hold onto her like my life depends upon it, because it does. "I love you, Xena. Love you, love you, and love you so much"
She returns the hug and strokes my hair. " I love you too, sweetheart. More than anything, I always will."
I turn my head up so our lips meet; we kiss gently as if for the first time, much like when I gave her that poem so many years ago. I run my tongue across her lips and she opens her mouth without hesitation. I moan deep in my throat when I taste her mouth, and feel her sucking on my tongue. Her hand tangles itself into my hair and she pulls me closer, and harder against her body, our mouths and tongues are battling for control now, she growls, and I moan again. We finally pull away from the kiss, completely breathless, but neither of us pauses the assaults on each other's body.
I turn myself around so I am straddling her lap, my hands travel restlessly across her body, from her neck, shoulders, down her torso to her inner thighs, and back up to her breasts, where my fingers knead her erect nipples through the leather. Xena's hands slide from my head and ass to my neck where they untie my halter-top, while she teases my earlobe with her lips and teeth. When my top is off and tossed to the side she pulls back and looks into my eyes. She lowers me down onto the bedroll and stretches out on top of me, so that she is straddling my right thigh. I reach up to meet her kiss, and it's bruising in our passion. I wrap my arms around her and begin to tug at the ties on the back of her leathers. She pulls her lips away from mine and kisses her way down my neck, leaving love bites on my most sensitive spots. Before Xena can begin her assault on my breasts I growl in frustration and tug hard on her leather tunic "take this off now," I hiss.
She gives me a wicked grin and straightens so she can pull the tunic over her head. She may have just given birth to a child, but she is still by far the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. "Gorgeous" I whisper before I reach up for her and pull her hard against me. I moan in pleasure when her hot mouth goes right to my breast, and her hands travel down my body and loosen the skirt around my waste. "Up" she commands, I lift my hips off the ground so she can slip off my skirt and britches. She begins to grind her hips against my thigh, I can feel her hot and wet and I groan with pleasure. Her thigh hits my center with every thrust. She returns her lips to mine and our tongues continue our battle. I grab onto her ass and pull her harder against me and meet each of her thrusts with one of my own. We moan and growl into each other's mouths.
One of her hands finds it way between us, down my body, and three of her fingers easily slip inside of me because of how wet I am, and I cry out in pleasure. She has pulled away from my mouth and is teasing my ear, so I bite and suck at her neck so I am not too loud and wake Eve. One of my hands stays on her ass, while the other one slides up her back and I am worried that I could be hurting her with my clawing, but I hear her moan. I am so close, but I want her to come with me, so I remove my hand from her ass and slip two, and then three figures inside of her. She bites hard onto my neck to keep from crying out.
We are both panting now and our thrusts increase harder and fast, we move together easily, wet with sweat and arousal. We are so overheated I feel we have burst into flames, and melted together. I believe we have.
We are primal in our passion as we reach orgasm. Xena slams her mouth onto mine, and we kiss and nip each other's lips to stay quite. We come together. "Xena!" I scream in my mind but not out loud, Xena growls and moans into my mouth "Gabrielle". We pull our mouths away and pant, and she collapses on top of me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight against me.
"Hmmm...I love you Gabrielle" She says when she catches her breath and kisses my cheek.
"I Love you too baby" I squeeze tighter when I feel her try and roll of me "no" I mumble and shake my head like a child.
She chuckles "I'm not too heavy?"
"No, your perfect."
"Good" She lays her head on my shoulder and I stroke her back. We just lie there awhile and begin to drift off. We are both surprised and lift our heads when we hear Eve gurgle but we realize she is still fast asleep. "Must be dreaming," I say quietly
"Yep" Xena reply's sleepily.
"So" I say huskily and flip us over so Xena is on her back and I'm on top of her straddling her hips, I grin at her. "We still have time."
Xena looks up at me, trying to hide her smile. "Still horny are we? Hmmm. I don't know I'm pretty tired." She stretches underneath me and pretends to yawn.
"Xena, I am more than horny, I need to touch you as if my life depended on it. It has been too long, and it has been too hard to be alone with you. I need to taste you." Closing my eyes I bring the fingers that were a minute ago inside of her to my mouth and suck on them seductively. The erotic flavor of her makes my voice drop an octave lower than usual. "If I don't devour you now, I may cease to exist." She pulls my face down to meet hers in a long sensuous kiss that leaves us both breathless.
"I wouldn't want that. Don't know what I'd do without you." She kisses me again.
I pull back and do my best warrior princess raised eyebrow. "I thought you were tired"
"Its very hard to stay tired when you look at me like that" She laughs.
"Good. Maybe I should look at you like this more often" I bend over and kiss her with all the passion in my being. When I run out of breath I move down to her neck and suck at her pulse, leaving a bruise. I kiss my way to her collarbone, tracing every dip and curve I have previously memorized with my tongue, I than move down leaving a wet trail along the way. When I reach her breasts I take one swollen nipple in my mouth and massage the other with my hand. She moans and arches her back while cupping the back of my head to push my mouth harder against her. I growl with pleasure at the softness of her breasts and the taste of her skin.
After I spend a great deal of time making love to her chest I move lower, tickling her rib cage, and nipping at her naval. When I reach the triangle of black curls I smell the scent that is only Xena and my stomach muscles tighten in anticipation, I can feel my own hot arousal dripping down my thigh. She spreads her legs wider for me, but just before my mouth reaches her center she stops me by tugging my hair "not yet" she whispers. I look up at her shocked and frustrated; she just smiles lovingly at me and says, "Turn around".
I position myself so I am kneeling above her with my thighs on either side of her head and the length of my body is stretched above hers until my mouth is right where I want it. I can smell her and almost taste the ambrosia. I feel Xena kiss her way up my inner thighs and wrap her arms around my hips to pull me down to meet her mouth. I lower my head down and brush the black curly hair with my nose, I feel her shiver I wrap my arms around her thighs and dip my tongue between her folds. Her hips buck up and I suck and nip at her, teasing her clit with my lips and tongue. I begin to lose concentration and my hips buck without my consent when I feel her lips suck on my enlarged clit and her tongue rotates between helping her lips and entering me. I drown in her essence and the pleasure she bestows upon me.
I come hard and before she does, I growl deep in my throat and try hard not to cry out, my body shakes. I thrust my tongue inside of her one more time before I suck on her clit and use the flat of my tongue to press hard onto it causing her to come. However, before I can regain control of my body Xena takes my clit between her teeth and sucks hard while thrusting four fingers deep inside of me. I orgasm two more times my body shaking and convulsing I collapse on top of her. She gathers me up in her arms and rests my head on her shoulder, gently stroking my hair and whispering words of love while I catch my breath and regain the use of my limbs. Before I know what is happening I am sobbing. "Gabrielle what's wrong sweetie? Did I hurt you? Shhh... Please don't cry" Xena says.
"No... I'm Okay I... I just... love you so much." I mange to choke out between sobs "Don't... ever leave me... please." I cry.
"No, sweetheart I'm never going to leave you. Why would you think that?"
I raise my head up so I can look at her and she wipes the tears from my cheeks while I speak. "I don't know. I guess... things have been different between us lately. Sometimes I feel like you don't need me anymore. That you don't need my love because you have Eve now"
"Oh, Gabrielle, please don't ever think I don't need you. I will always need your love; you are still the greatest gift the world has ever given me. I know I have been distant lately and I am so sorry I ever made you feel unappreciated. I love you so much and I need you now more than ever because Evie needs you too."
"I know, I just get scared. I shouldn't have sa-" Just then Eve cries out. Xena gives me an apologizing look and I roll off of her so she can see to Eve. The mother coos to her child and picks her up. She gathers up Eve's furs too and walks over to me. She sets the furs next to ours and sits back down on our bedroll Eve clings to her mother's breast and begins to nurse. Xena grabs my hand and pulls me closer to her and puts her arm around me. I nuzzle her shoulder and let myself be comforted by her presence. "I think we should talk. Things have been difficult lately but I don't want to let that hurt our relationship and don't tell me you were just being stupid and we don't need to talk, I can tell something is wrong. Now, How do you feel?"
"You really want to talk?"
I sigh and gather my thoughts. "I guess I feel left out sometimes with you and Eve. I know you say that she is our daughter, and I believe that. I love her as if she was my own, but I can't help but feel angry and jealous at the fact that you can have Callisto's, another woman's, child and not mine. I mean, how many times have I wished that we could have a child together, Xena? It must be thousands."
"I know, I've wished the same thing and I've wished that this was your child and not Callisto's, but the fates have never been easy on us before so why would they now?" She takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes "What I mean to say is that we have a child now. Where she came from doesn't matter and who the other biological parent is doesn't matter either, because you are Eves other parent, you change her, bathe her, protect her, play with her, sing to her, tell her stories, and you take care of her. I once told you that what we have binds us closer than blood ever could, I believe that goes for you and Eve too. As long as you let it."
"Yeah, it does. Thank you."
"For making me realize that letting something as shallow as blood get in the way of my relationship with our child would be a terrible mistake."
"You would have realized it eventuality."
"But by than it would have been too late."
"Maybe, but I don't think it would take you that long." She smiles at me "I want to say thank you too."
"Oh? Why what did I do?"
"You put up with me." She says seriously.
I start to protest but she silences me with her finger "Let me explain." I nod my head and she pulls her finger away from my lips.
"I haven't been fair to you lately. I have been uncharacteristically neglectful of you lately and I am sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. I understand things have been crazy lately, with rising from the dead, having a child, and all the gods on Olympus trying to murder that child. Not to mention we can't get a minute alone without being bothered by Eve, Americe, or Joxer."
"Still its no excuse for me to mistreat you."
"Xena, you have been crabby, and a little unappreciative, but you have never mistreated me, okay? Besides its not like I have been Miss Sunshine to live with lately either. I have been neglectful too, I have been moody, and I have been bottling up my feelings from you. I have been very jumpy and insecure lately too."
She gives me a wry smile. "I guess it wouldn't do me any good to argue with that, would it?"
"Nope." I lean up and plant a small kiss on her lips, than I suddenly realize how tired I am and yawn. "Jeez, I'm tired. It's been a very long day."
Xena yawns too and chuckles. "I guess it has. Why don't I sing you and Eve a lullaby?"
I cuddle closer to her and nuzzle her neck again. "Mmhmm Yes" She begins to sing and I am easily lost in her beautiful voice. I quickly drift to sleep.
And drift away
Sweat dreams, star shine
Lay down in your bed
And await rays of day
Sweat dreams, star shine
Let out your heavy sighs
And hear the lyre of Orpheaus
Sweat dreams, star shine
Close your tired eyes
And fall to Morpheous
I am soon awakened my Xena crawling under the furs with me and wrapping her arms around me. I automatically cuddle up to her and entangle my body with hers. I nuzzle her neck and take a deep breath; the faint smell of leather, clove, and the even stronger scent of our lovemaking sticks to her body and makes me shiver. "Mmmm love you." I mumble. I can barely hear her reply "Love you too." Before I fall to Morpheous.