(Part of the "Scenes We'll Never See" Series)
© M. Guerriere 12/1/2004 aka Absinthe Angel 777
Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more.
I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amatueur fan fiction purposes only.
Warning: Discussions of Violence and female/female sex. If topics offensive or forbidden. Leave now. You have been warned.
Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Please contact me - I might say YES. Please direct comments and reviews relating to this work to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it. - Angel
TIME FRAME: Shortly after "Motherhood"
EXT. OUTSIDE THE MEETING HOUSE OF THE ELIGIANS
(sits down on a log next to Eve)
Even the repentant need to rest sometimes.
I didn't want to disturb anyone.
You can't. Impossible.
However your Mother mumbled something
about checking on you before she passed out.
Yeah, you know how she's hates people.
Everyone grabbing at her, wanting her attention.
But whenever she's with large groups she falls asleep.
When they called me Champion of Rome everyone wanted my attention.
I loved and despised them for it.
She's compassionate in her mind.
But in her heart most people are still disposable.
I'm her daughter but you
You did the impossible.
She needs you.
(looks down, looks away)
The bard blinks.
What's the matter, Mom?
Your life isn't like the fairy tales you tell?
What's on your mind, Eve?
I keep thinking about
I look at what I was.
And I look at myself now.
I'm not the same.
How could anyone ever want me?
How could anyone ever love me again?
(puts arm around Eve's shoulder)
It's going to be rough, Eve.
This is just the beginning.
But I had Augustus.
I had Ares.
For better or worse I had them both.
I was wanted, loved, desired.
I had all the power and riches in Rome.
Look at me! Look at what I'm wearing.
Look at what I am now!
I can't use a sword.
I can't even pick up a weapon.
It's all like poison in my hands.
It's what I do.
It's what I was.
It's who I was.
You're in a transition.
Everything I had before is gone.
I don't know who I am or what I am.
I'm never going to be me again.
I'm never going to feel wanted again.
Being loved and desired as a woman isn't all about wealth.
It radiates from the inside and the outside.
(chokes and wipes tears)
No one's going to pay attention to me.
The hell I am.
You're a pretty girl.
I know what I'm looking at.
But you're my mother.
Of course you're going to say that.
You know where you have some experience?
Here's where I have my experience.
I think I know a thing or two about love.
What would you know about being here?
Look at you.
Everything worked out for you.
You and Mother are the perfect couple.
Everyone wants to be with you, both of you.
They respect you, admire you.
Where do I fit in?
What am I in this world?
A baby, a tagalong, a childish nothing.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
But you found yourself.
Came into your own.
It took a long time.
You had a lover there to support you.
I tell a good fairy tale, don't I?
So tell me the truth.
Please tell me the truth.
I always tell you the truth.
The truth about what?
Spare me the fairy tales.
You know what I'm talking about.
About you, about Mother.
Sure you want to go there?
I need to know.
She's never going to be honest with me.
She puts honey on everything.
You're her little girl.
I'm as much a murderer as she is.
Some how, some way, in all that violence she found love.
I have to know that even for someone like me, it's there.
You found each other.
An accident. A circumstance.
I wouldn't call having your village destroyed a great way to meet people.
No, I suppose not.
She was terrifying.
The warlord of warlords.
I wanted out of that village.
I took my chances.
You aligned yourself with her.
I threw myself at her!
I was a stupid kid.
She could have killed me.
But she didn't.
I have a smart mouth.
Smart is useful.
What would you have done?
Now it's you who won't want to go there.
Me? With a girl like that. There's no telling.
I might have killed her.
I might have…
(studies Gabrielle's expression)
I was so scared.
Why did you stay?
I wanted to run.
She'd get that look in her eye and…
Why did you stay?
(head in hands)
Stay. I needed to stay.
It's so important for both of us.
She would take me spiraling downward
into her darkness.
As strong as it is.
I knew I could beat it.
I knew I was stronger.
You didn't answer my question.
I liked it.
I like it.
I don't know why my body responds.
Not the girl in your fairy tales, are you?
The mind and the body are two different things, Eve.
The Way is the only thing I have to mentally hang onto.
With Xena I never know what's going to happen.
Every time I pray, I keep myself afloat.
On a sea of seething contempt and rage.
How delicious it would be to drown.
With her, so many times I've wanted to.
So that's our appeal.
Mother and I.
But this irony might destroy me.
The darkness is eating me alive.
How can I project that fire as an advocate of peace?
Dressed in rags and without a dinar.
I believe you can.
And is there someone out there for me?
How about you?
How is she with you now?
She hit me once.
And the rest of the time?
We worked it out.
We know what we're doing.
We learned when to stop.
That's our perfect love.
That's our promise of trust.
I promise if there's someone like you, I'll try to be kind.
Then you'll be a hero and you won't need fairy tales.
Will you help me?
Will you teach me?
I will help you teach yourself.
END OF SCENE
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