Authors Note: New chapter guys! Finally. If you want to email me about it, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org
In Need Of A Friend
We travelled in complete silence for two whole days, it is unbearable, but I don't know what to say to her. There is so much left unsaid between us and I have so many thoughts and things that I want to say, but I cannot find the words. Also, her hands on my hips as we ride towards the Amazon Nation is unbelievably distracting. I curse myself for not thinking to bring another horse and causing myself this torture. Having her so close is killing me. Half of my body wants to relax into her touch, hoping for more and the other half is tense, wanting to break her hands for daring to lay a finger on me.
I can tell that she is just as uncomfortable as I am. I feel it in every twitch of her long, slender fingers and in the way her arm muscles ripple as they tense. As we ride on, it only gets worse until her fingers are gripping my hips so tightly I'm scared the bones are going to shatter.
"Xena," I growl, my voice rough. "Do you mind?"
"Huh?" She mumbles before quickly removing her hands from my waist. "Oh. Sorry."
"No problem," I reply stiffly, straightening my shoulders as I take in our surroundings.
Fuck, when did we cross over the Amazon borders?
"We're close now," Xena whispered and I now understand why my hips are going to be bruised tomorrow.
"Yes," I mutter, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "Are you nervous?"
"No," Xena replied quietly, but I can hear the erratic beating of her heart proving the opposite.
I can hear the Amazons in the tree's above us, and I'm suprised they haven't dropped down to greet me. As soon as the thought entered my mind, a masked woman dropped from the sky, sliding down a thick vine until she landed besides my horse. I recognised her immediately.
"Hello Varia," I smiled down at her as she pulls the mask from her face, scowling at me.
"Alexandria," she nods to me before her eyes shift to the woman behind me. "Xena."
"Hi Varia, suprised to see me?"
I grin at the low rumble in Xena's voice, remembering that these two women didn't part on good terms before Xena died.
"Actually, no," Varia stated, walking proudly along side us. "I wish now I had stopped Alexandria from leaving the village, but I'm not suprised."
I smirked down at the Amazon, recieving a sad smile in return. My heart was beating faster with every step my horse took, bringing us closer to the village. Closer to Gabrielle. "How's the Queen been?"
"A mess," Varia replied curtly, looking away from me and towards the gate that was getting closer and closer. "She'll be worse once we walk into the village though. This is going to be difficult for her, you know that."
I felt Xena stiffen behind me and I sighed. I don't want to do this. I should just throw Xena off my horse and turn back the way I came, and I'm postive I would if there wasn't an army making it's way towards the village full of people I love. I look towards the gate and my heart stops beating in my chest, and I can feel Xena, if possible, become more tense behind me.
There she stood, short blonde hair whipping around her face, her emerald green eyes glued to mine. She was surrounded by Amazons, and I could hear them all whispering even though I was still quite a distance away. The seconds passed by quickly, quicker than I wanted them to and before I knew it, I was stopping my horse in front of the Amazon Queen.
I stand in the middle of the Practise field, watching my fellow Amazons spar with each other while I wait for her. That's all I've been doing over the past five days, waiting for her. Everytime someone knocks on the door of my hut, my heart starts to race, hoping it is her waiting to enter and pull me back into her arms, but it never is. I'm more worried than anything now, as I wonder if she has left for good, scared away by the emotions we are both feeling. At least, I hope we are both feeling them.
What I feel is so intense that I can't even begin to describe it. It's like fire coursing through my veins everytime I think of her. It hurts how much I want her, how much I know now that I need her. I never wanted to need anybody ever again after Xena died, but here I am, needing a woman I barely know. And I know she needs me, I could see it in her eyes everytime she looked at me, especially the night we made love, before she left. I could see it as she looked down at me, her midnight blue eyes dark with desire and so much need. Like she couldn't breathe without me. Like she couldn't live without me by her side.
But she's so scared of me too. Like if she gets too close to me, she'll break. It's as if she feels like the walls she's built up for so long will shatter if she's near me for too long, and I desperately wish they would. I want to see her, the real Alexandria. I want to know who she is, I want to understand her and know why she is the way she is. I want to hear about her life: her childhood, her past lovers, her battles, physical and emotional. I want to know everything there is to know. But she's scared, and to be honest, so am I.
She's been hurt before, I know this, by a woman that I don't know the name of. I wish I knew her name so I could curse her for causing someone so pure and so gentle, so much pain. She must be the cruelest of women and I can't begin to imagine why Alexandria loved her so much to begin with. I can't help but be jealous that this woman got a part of Alexandria that I might never see and it makes me want to scream. It's not fair.
I jolt back into reality as I'm tapped gently on the shoulder, turning my head to look up at Eponin. I'm immediately concerned by the look on her face. She looks like she's seen a ghost, her face was so pale, her eyes wide with shock.
"Ep, what is it? What's wrong?" I ask, turning to face her and putting my hands on her shoulders.
"The scouts along our borders just informed me that Alexandria has returned," Eponin managed to say, becoming more pale with every word.
I feel my heart start to beat faster, excited and worried at the same time. Alexandria was home, this was good news. But why did Eponin look so upset?
"Is she hurt?" I asked hurriedly, my eyes turning towards the wooden gates of the village, which were being opened as I spoke.
"No, she's fine," replied Eponin shakily.
"That's good, Ep!" I said, squeezing her shoulder before turning and starting to quickly make my way towards the entrance of the village, hearing her follow behind me. "She's home, it's good."
I walked through the gates, paying no attention to the Amazons that were crowding around me. All I could see was her, the one I'd been waiting for, for so long now.
Her short dark red hair was dishevled, falling into her midnight blue eyes, making her look impossibly sexy. I was frozen to the spot as I watched her, sitting proudly on her black stallion, like a dark knight in all her black and silver armor. The seconds passed by painstakingly slow, too slow for my liking, but I couldn't move. Despite how desperately I wanted to run into her arms, I couldn't. So I waited.
Moments later, though it felt like hours, she was sitting before me, staring down at me with so much emotion in her eyes. She looked so sad and I was confused. Wasn't she happy to see me?
"Alexandria?" I whispered under my breath as I looked up at her.
She gazed down at me sadly before throwing her leg over the side of her horse and sliding off her saddle and to the ground. I noticed there was someone else sitting on the horse as well, but I paid them no attention. I didn't have eyes for anyone else.
"Alexandria," I said, louder this time, praying to Aphrodite that she answered me.
She continued to gaze at me before slowly turning away and handing her reins to one of the Amazons. And then without a word or a backwards glance, she walked passed me, pushing through the crowd of women and into the village.
My heart shattered as I watched her walk away from me, turning all my fears into reality. I watched in a daze as Varia pushed past me and chased after the red headed woman and I cursed my legs for not moving first, but it was like someone was holding me back.
"Alexandria!" I yelled after her, starting to follow her but I was stopped by a voice.
It was low, deep and full of emotion and I swear my heart stopped beating. This couldn't be real, I had to be dreaming. My breath caught in my chest as I turned around in slow motion to face the person that owned the voice that I had dreamed about for over a year. And there she was, dressed in her dark brown leathers, raven coloured hair flowing over her shoulders and the pale blue eyes that I loved so much, gazing into mine with unconditional love.
To be continued in Chapter Twelve.
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