Authors Note: I have seriously been neglecting this story! I've been so caught up writing To Tame A Wild Heart, that I almost completely forgot about this. Hopefully, over the next few weeks, I will update this more often as TTAWH comes to a close. Thank you though for all the comments and emails I have been recieving, up to this day! If you want to email me, my address is, jacklavigne13@hotmail .com
It Should Be Me
The next few days passed by quickly with everyone being so busy with preparation for the wedding. Even I was always doing something, whether it was spending time with Eve, hunting with the Amazons or helping decorate the village for the wedding. I did anything and everything asked of me, to help keep my mind off why I was in the village. I hated to be reminded of the fact that my soulmate was marrying someone else, but everywhere I turned there was evidence of the truth and it was slowly killing me.
I have hardly seen Gabrielle since she came to my camp to hide from her consort on the first night of my stay here, and have spoken to her even less. Things have been slightly uncomfortable between us since that night, and everyone could feel the tension between us.
"I'm getting married."
After those heart breaking words had left her lips while her head rested against my shoulder and her hand held mine, she had quickly realized where and who she was with and had hurriedly made an exit. Whether she left because she was uncomfortable with how close we were or from fear of doing something that she would later regret, I don't know. It hurt so much to watch her leave so that she couldn't return to her partners loving embrace, but I hadn't come here to steal her away from Miranda. So, while I had longed to ask her to stay with me, I had instead let her go.
The only time I ever do see her is at meal times and while I want to go and talk to her, even if it's just to say hello, I am usually stopped by Miranda's glare. It wouldn't usually stop me but then I turn to see the exhaustion and strain in Gabrielle's eyes and I leave them be. And then quietly endure the feeling of the bard's eyes on my back as I eat with my family and friends.
I know she wants to talk to me, I can see her begging me to join her at her table every time I glance towards her. Even though things are slightly awkward between us, our bond is still there. It heartens me to know that I still mean something to her, that she still wants to be a part of my life even if we are only friends. Although I know it's not possible for either of us, the thought still makes my heart flutter.
It's almost time for the afternoon meal and I've been chopping wood for what feels like hours. The sun is almost unbearable as it shines down upon us and I can feel my hair sticking to my face while sweat rolls down between my shoulders blades. Standing up straight and resting the axe on my shoulder, I stretch my back and groan as it cracks loudly. I scowl as I turn to Alexandria who stands a few feet away, chuckling at my discomfort.
"What are you laughing at?" I ask her as I wipe the perspiration from my forehead, narrowing my eyes at the red headed woman. She grins as she lifts her own axe over her head, her arm muscles straining with the weight before bringing it down and slicing a block of wood down the middle. She was a vision in her new Amazon outfit that Gabrielle has let her borrow during her stay in the village. She had traded her usual outfit of black leather pants and a sleeveless black leather jerkin for a short leather skirt and a top that barely covered her breasts, both dyed a dark blue that matched her eyes. I had never seen in her in something so revealing but couldn't help but be appreciative as I let my gaze wander over her muscular thighs and up to her well defined abdomen and firm breasts that were straining against her leather top, her skin shining with a fine sheen of sweat. I also noticed that her new clothing had gathered quite a crowd of women that were watching her as she worked.
"I'm laughing at you, of course," she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Is there Warrior Princess getting too old to chop a bit of wood, hm?"
I growled at her playfully but wondered to myself if I should follow her lead and wear something more suited to this weather. Although my armor had been removed for most of my stay, my leather battledress was uncomfortably tight in this heat, sticking to my skin. I finally grinned back at her before throwing my axe on the ground as I saw people starting to head to the dining hut for lunch. I had worked up a serious appetite after being out here for most of the day.
Alexandria copied my actions and we headed towards the dining hut together, ignoring the stares that followed us. Most people assumed that we were a couple still, though our close friends knew the truth. Neither of us truly cared what anyone else thought. Alexandria knew where my heart belonged.
"Have you spoken to her since the other night?" Alexandria asked me quietly as we entered the dining hut. I shook my head before looking up from my boots to find the woman in question.
And was surprised to see her smiling at me brightly and waving us both over to her table.
I glanced around the room, my eyes searching for the one who would make me walk in the other direction, but Miranda was no where to be seen. I then noticed that most of my friends, including my mother and daughter were now sitting at the Queen's table. I met Alexandria's eyes and we both shrugged before walking to the two seats that had been left empty for us.
I sat down next to Gabrielle, who had Eve sitting happily in her lap while Alexandria sat down across from me. The Amazon Queen spared a glance at me, giving me a bright smile as she bounced the giggling toddler on her knee.
"You look hot."
My mouth dropped open in shock as I turned to face the bard, and received loud laughter in return for my expression.
"I mean warm, Xena," Gabrielle chuckled as she leant over and squeezed my forearm. I blushed slightly in embarrassment and turned to the plate of food in front of me.
"Where is Miranda?" I asked curiously, stabbing a piece of venison with my fork as I glanced around the room for the Amazon.
"On a hunting trip," the blonde replied absently as she helped Eve to eat her meal while picking at her own. I was confused about her lack of interest in her partner’s absence.
"This close to the wedding?"
"The wedding isn't for another four days," said Gabrielle with a small shrug, taking a bite of food from our daughter's fork and smiling devilishly at the child. "She will be back the night before the wedding."
My head swam with thoughts of how I could spent the next few days with my ex lover. My heart sunk as I realized that this would probably be the last time I was ever able to spend time with her alone, if at all. I had come here to say my final goodbye but now that it was getting closer and closer the day that I would lose her forever, I regretted my decision to come at all.
"I'm getting married."
The words played over and over in my head, and suddenly my appetite vanished. I pushed the plate away and slowly got up, ignoring the curious looks from my friends. I smiled weakly at Gabrielle as she stared up at me in confusion, before leaving the table and returning to my work outside.
Gods, I thought to myself miserably. I wish it was me.
To be continued in Chapter Eight.
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